Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

This film was digitally restored by the Swedish Film Institute in 2014

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

Falsterbo doesn't feature in this film at all.

We can show you a picture of Falsterbohus, but that's all.

The script was worked on by 2,678 people

based on an idea of Henry Richter's.

When the film was finished, the idea and the writers had disappeared.

Edvard Persson plays the main character, but he is called Henrik Karlsson,

so that it's harder for the audience to recognize him.

Raise your hand if you spot him first.

He's the one in the middle.

Rut Holm plays the housekeeper Johanna.

Everything is now finalized with Rut Holm and Hollywood.

She's not going there.

We'll also see a cow in the film, but she wants to remain anonymous.

Arthur Fischer plays the Mayor of Skanör.

Constable Månsson is played by John Degerberg,

and Algot Larsson is the town prisoner.

Annalisa Ericson and Holger Winge play the young couple.

We don't know if they end up together at the end, but we hope for the best.

Ingrid Luterkort plays the mayor's housekeeper. Her name is Lena.

The director, Emil A. Pehrsson, has asked me to say thank you

to all who played their part without complaint:

The participating animals.

Photographer was Olle Ekman. In Skanör, they always knew when he was coming.

That was when the sun disappeared.

The music was written by Lasse Dahlquist, Erik Baumann,

and others.

Sound system: Tobis Klang. Sound technician: Gösta Bjurman.

Nature sounds: The poultry exhibition in Alnarp.

The film is called Skanör-Falsterbo, which is why it starts in Malmö.

- Coffee is served. - Thanks, Johanna.

- Is my father up? - Hopefully. He's not back yet.

That's right. He went to the Order of the Elephant last night.

I thought he would tire of those evenings.

One day he won't be back at all.

Old men ought to stay at home at night. Here you are.

Orders are serious business.

Order of the Elephant on Mondays, Fermented Herring Group on Tuesdays,

Friends of the Goose on Wednesdays,

Order of Neptune Thursdays and Fridays, and the Sailors' Group on Saturdays.

What's left of him on Sunday morning, we have to deal with.

- The elevator is not for people like you. - I understand that.

It's for lazy people.

And for those who are sleeping in it.

- Excuse me, is the elevator occupied? - No, it seems to be idle.

- I'm going up. - I'm also going up.

Up through the air and over the oceans Over the Earth on a journey so fast

- You can't use the elevator. - Says who?

Who lives here? You or me? Idiot!

- Please step inside! - Together?

If it's for three people, it can manage one and a half.

- Are those newspapers? - Yes.

So, I guess we have to press together.

Close the gate. It's drafty!

Let's go. It's nice to rise in the morning.

Now we're on top of the world. Please alight.

The department for night owls.

Oh, look at this. It's taken on a modern shape.

- Was it my newspaper? - Yes.

- I could have taken it. - Yes, how stupid of us.

Particularly of you. Together we are twice as stupid.

- Does it always arrive so early? - It's you who are late.

Am I late? I'm arriving early in the morning.

- Yes. - Thumbs up to that.

- How many thumbs have you got? - One.

- Let's use that then. - Good morning.

Good afternoon.

- Hello, - Yes?

Can I buy a newspaper?

I don't have any to sell, but you can have mine.

- I can get another one from the printers. - Right? Thank you.

- I'm sitting here getting sleepy. - I see.

I've been waiting for payment since four o'clock.

Oh? That must be Karlsson. He was asleep in the elevator.

- A large man in his finery? - Yes, that was Karlsson.

He's a crazy one.

So his name is Karlsson?

Then I will go and get my 18 krona.

Good morning, sweetie.

Good morning, sweetie.

Good morning.

Good evening.

Not one word, understood?

I'm returning home in a great mood, and I'm met by these glum faces.

Look at that.

Am I paying 55 krona per month to see such a grumpy face?

Have you lost your power of speech?

Have I done anything?

No. It's a long time since you did any decent work.

Are you begrudging me a few days' holiday?

It's back to the treadmill on Monday.

I would rather be a countryside peasant than a treasurer.

You don't know what it is like

to have to count other people's millions while earning 350 krona per month.

- Work brings health and comfort. - For those you work for, yes.

In that sense it's true.

- Do you know what your father is now? - No, but I would like to know.

I'm the greatest thing a human being can be.

I'm an honorary elephant.

Here it is.

What do you want?

- Are you Mr. Karlsson? - Yes.

Then it's wrong.

- Wrong? - The wrong Karlsson.

Find out which Karlsson you want before you ring the bell!

Sorry...

Next Karlsson...

- Good morning. - Good morning. What is this about?

- I would like to have a look at Karlsson. - A look? The young one or the old one?

I don't know, but we can start with the one who came home most recently.

I'll get him.

Everything will be ruined if you don't stop drinking.

Life is what you make of it.

You've never suffered from my drinking. You've always had everything you need.

A father can support ten children, but ten children can't support a father.

- A man wants to look at Karlsson. - Look at Karlsson?

- That's right. - That'll be expensive.

- I'd forgotten about you, driver. - It's been a long wait.

And now the taxi has been costing me money all night?

- How much? - The meter shows 18 krona.

You could have switched it off or taken some short fares.

Seven, five... It's not enough. I'll have to borrow some.

- Lars? Can you lend me 18 krona? - I haven't got anything to lend you.

- Johanna, lend me 18 krona. - I haven't been paid for this month yet.

- It'll be sorted. - Lots of things need to be sorted.

On one condition: that you stop drinking.

I promise, as long as I can borrow 18 krona.

- That means herring and potatoes all week. - I like that.

18 krona for a taxi ride! What a scandalous waste of money.

- Particularly when you don't have any. - Well, now that's sorted.

18 krona from Gustav Adolf Square. Which route did he take?

It was a very expensive elevator, I mean taxi.

But it's not every day one becomes an honorary elephant.

You seem to be in a good mood this morning.

- I should have been an opera singer. - Yeah?

- Well, you're the right size. - I have the right voice, too.

- You're at a dangerous age. - I've been at that age for 46 years.

You shouldn't comment on music. You're as unmusical as an old crow.

You can't even play a barrel organ.

The man down there is playing. I'll give him my last coins.

The triumph of poverty.

What would happen if us poor folk didn't help each other?

- Out. I'm dropping my trousers. - Good timing. There's someone at the door.

Give them my regards and tell them I'm out.

Good morning. Is Mr. Karlsson in?

- Yes. Please come in. - Thanks.

- He seems to be in a good mood. - Yes, there's nothing wrong with his mood.

Please go in.

- Good morning, Mr. Karlsson. - Good morning, Mr. Lyring.

How are you?

What do I owe this pleasure to?

I would like to have a word with you, Mr. Karlsson.

In private. Face to face.

I see. One face has to leave and close the door.

- By all means. - Please have a seat.

- Right... - Yes...

Well...

- I have some very sad news. - Have the eel traps blown away again?

We completed the audit yesterday and there is a large sum of money missing.

- That happens in the best of families. - Yes, unfortunately all too often.

The company has decided to keep quiet about it.

- But honesty is the best policy. - It's the best policy in the long run.

We are giving you 24 hours to sort it out.

I see. What a shame I just threw my last few coins out of the window.

- It's not a joke. This is serious. - Oh, is it?

You are also requested to hand in your resignation.

Please pass it on to the gentlemen and thank them for the loan.

- I will do, Mr. Karlsson. Goodbye. - Goodbye, Mr. Lyring.

How can you sing after all that?

As you can hear it works quite well. Or what do you think?

Goodbye. Thank you.

So, you were dismissed?

No, I wasn't.

They asked me nicely if I would hand in my resignation.

I know what he said. I happened to hear all of it.

Good. Then we don't need to discuss it.

I didn't expect anything else.

What are you saying?

I work and study for my exams, while my own father...

Steal other people's money? Is that what you're saying?

- It's a scandal! - Yes, it is.

Others calling me a thief is one thing,

but I didn't expect my own son to believe it.

I won't forget that in a hurry.

It doesn't matter. I won't keep your name anymore.

No, you shouldn't. You're too posh to be called Karlsson.

But if you change your name and we meet,

I may not recognize you.

- Everyone seems to be eavesdropping. - It's the only way to find out anything.

Oh, yeah?

- Goodbye. - Are you leaving?

Yes, I am.

I think you should stay at home and sort out this matter.

No, it will be sorted out over time.

Come on, sweetie.

My name shouldn't stand in his way.

Well, that was nice... Are you pleased with how you handled the situation?

- Are you saying it's my fault? - That he left, yes.

If you insist on getting involved, I think you should help him sort things out,

and not just pass judgment on your own father.

Lawyers, big or small, always try to twist everything.

If he's not back by the evening, I know what to do

to avoid an even bigger disaster.

- Good morning. - Good morning. Is Mr. Berg on this ward?

- Yes, he is here. - Can I visit him?

- Well... I'm afraid he's very ill. - Oh?

So no visits are allowed.

- But you can talk to his wife. - Doctor...

Good morning, Henrik. Is it very serious?

Yes, I can't deny that it's very serious.

We have to wait until the crisis is over and hope for the best.

Good morning, Henrik. How are you?

I've had bad news. There's been an audit and I've been asked to leave.

Osvald told me everything.

He borrowed the money because of his illness.

- You haven't told anyone, have you? - No, I just want to know how he is.

He mustn't find out now. It would kill him.

I don't want a man's death on my conscience, particularly not his.

Thanks, Henrik. I suppose we can't stop it getting out.

I won't say anything. I promise you that.

Thanks, Henrik.

Mrs. Berg? Don't tell him I was here. I'm going to try to sort it out.

How lovely.

You won't catch it, sweetie.

I think you missed.

Because of your damn dog.

Thanks, sweetie.

Have you never met the gaze of a wounded roe deer?

No.

Do it and you may stop this. Murderer.

Do you want a lift?

It's only two horse powers, so it's not very fast.

But it's safer.

Thank you. Could you give my dog some milk, please?

Yes, I think I can see to that.

So kind of you.

She was thirsty, the little one.

- Don't you know an easier one? - I learned it in one hour in Copenhagen

Ann-Charlotte, start the music.

- Look at my feet and follow. - Yes.

- Is the mayor at home? - We don't hand out any money.

The mayor supports a charitable organization.

I see. Good. Maybe he could organize some charity for me and my beloved?

I mean the dog.

- What's your name? - Henrik Karlsson.

- Do you have a card? - No. I don't bother with those.

Wait a minute. Maybe this will do? Hand it to him.

- But it's a door plate. - Yes, but I left the door behind.

- Hand it to him. I'll deal with the rest. - One moment.

And bend your heads forwards and then backwards.

- You must teach me that one, girls. - Yes!

- One more time? - Yes.

Hello there, old friend! How nice to see you.

Come in! Long time no see.

I was out walking and thought I would come by.

- I'm glad you did. Welcome. - Have you got guests?

No, it's just the usual hangers-on.

I'm going to play a joke on them. Leave your coat. I'll be right back.

- Shall I take your coat? - I think I'll keep it on.

- What about the hat? - It's not much to bother with.

If you could look after my dog, Miss, I would be grateful.

- Don't call me Miss. My name's Lena. - I see. Henrik. Thank you.

- Come on, sweetie. - What a cute dog. Does she bite?

No. Only in self-defense. My sweetie...

- Excuse me? - I meant the dog.

Come on, Henrik.

What delightful hangers-on. Are they here every day?

No. It's my daughter Vera's 21st birthday.

- Which one is she? - Can you guess?

- That shouldn't be difficult. - Girls!

This is Uncle Henrik, my old honorary pasha.

Honorary elephant, actually.

Let's see if Henrik can guess which one of you is my daughter.

Yes, that won't be a problem. Girls, line up in two rows.

You need to be serious. This is a serious experiment.

Are you standing like this? Put your right hand on your head.

And your left hand in your trouser pocket.

Of course, you're girls. Put it behind your back instead.

- Let's be serious. Are you? - Yes.

- Close your eyes. Are you doing that? - Yes.

- All of you? - Yes.

- The mayor's daughter, too? - Yes.

Good. Here she is.

- Happy birthday. - You did well, Henrik. Come on.

- What a lovely young girl. - Yes, she is.

And then she said, "He had a motorbike!"

Right, gentlemen. May I introduce my childhood friend, Henrik Karlsson.

No, stay seated. It's fine like this.

Colonel Braunholz. He's in charge of the town's defense.

- Look how proud he seems. - Oh, no.

The only thing I defend these days is my drink.

- Mr. Enander, the pharmacist. - Excuse me for leaning over.

- Delighted. - The town's pill pusher.

- Doctor Råberg. - Don't go to him if you're ill.

- He's an animal doctor. - I see.

So he's a so-called cow-operative doctor.

- And that must be the station master? - That's right.

- Pålsson. - Thank you.

Sit down now.

So you meet and have a drink every time the girl turns 21?

It's not an exaggeration to say they've been here since she was baptized.

We never finished discussing the question: "What is humor?"

A literal translation of "humor" is "fluid."

- Correct. - This bottle has no sense of humor.

I was going to call for some water.

The courthouse, please.

Stay here, sweetie. And here's some milk for you. There you are.

They get me up in the middle of the night to fetch some soda water.

- Am I a prisoner or not? - Just go.

You'd better do as the mayor says.

It's not easy being a prisoner in this place.

Sing something, Henrik. Anything at all.

What would you like? How about a sing-along?

This is the chorus.

- Cheers, my dear friend! - Thanks!

- Cheers! - Thank you.

The prisoner says that the pharmacist's wife refuses to hand over soda water.

What?

If the pharmacist wants water, he'll have to go home.

- Write a prescription! - Yes, I can do that.

We'll see if she refuses this, too.

- Here you are. Will that do? - Yes.

You've never written such a great prescription before.

At least no one will die from it.

It seems just as dry here in town as down by the harbor.

Are you letting the prisoner come and go?

Why not? He's not really a prisoner. He's awaiting trial.

What if we discover after three months that he is innocent?

Then he'll have been locked up for three months. Is that justice?

- Surely you can't change the law? - In this town I am the law.

- That's right. - At least it sounds right.

- This is the town to be in. - Come on. Let's join the girls.

Let's hear it for Vera. Hip, hip!

Hurrah!

Cheers.

- Please, will you sing for us? - Yes!

One more!

- Where has he got to? - Why? He often goes off on a walk.

- He hasn't got any money. - That's nothing unusual.

He must do something about the 5,000 krona. The company won't wait.

- There'll be a scandal. - What are you doing about it?

I'm going out. I have to come up with something.

Saving up from my private lessons would take many years.

How can it be sorted?

If anything needs to be sorted, I'll probably have to do it. As usual.

That's it. All went well. Thanks for your help, girls.

Have they all gone now?

All except Uncle Henrik.

He really got the party going. He's so amusing.

Well, it's not an amusing story.

And I have promised not to mention it to anyone.

But you're my lawyer, so I guess it's allowed.

As you know I have been helping my friends with their bookkeeping.

One of my friends, Mr. Berg, fell ill earlier in spring.

He asked if I could step in as treasurer, and I agreed to do that.

I discovered that 5,000 krona were missing from the account.

He said, "I know. I borrowed the money during my illness."

"I will pay it back when I've recovered."

He gave me this document, in case anything happened.

"Proof of debt. The missing 5,000 krona in the account,

"when Mr. Henrik Karlsson took over as my deputy,

"is money that I'm responsible for paying back."

There was an audit the other day. I've been given 24 hours to sort it out.

- Was that all? - Yes, and I was fired.

I'd better look after this document.

Only this can save you morally. Legally you are responsible.

Legally? Money is a dangerous thing.

He's calling.

Stay here and take it easy. I will sort it out.

- Thank you. - I find the matter interesting.

You called, sir.

Prepare the guestroom. Henrik will stay for a while.

How nice! Then I can have some company at night.

Yes...

- Excuse me, what did you say? - By the dog, obviously!

- I realized that she meant the dog. - I should think so.

Wake up!

Wake up! Listen. It's beautiful.

Now the mayor's daughter is a year older.

- Yes, time goes by. - Yes.

- Good night. - Good night.

- If anyone should... - I came here to...

Now, listen, madam. Maybe we should speak one at a time.

Shut up, then.

You've told Mr. Karlsson's son that his father needs to pay 5,000 krona today,

otherwise he will be arrested. The poor boy is distraught.

It pained me to see the boy cry, but what can I do?

I represent the company, and I'm not allowed to make donations.

Giving 5,000 to someone who already has plenty is fine,

but not helping someone in need.

It's those damn orders that have led him astray.

He happens to have a voice and you want him to sing for you.

- Just so you have an excuse to drink! - Don't bring in the orders. They are holy.

Holy? Yes, I bet they are.

Particularly when you want to get away from your wives.

I can't believe that grown men are silly enough to run around wearing sashes

with elephants.

Are you also an honorary animal, Director?

What do you mean? This is not a place for discussing order secrets.

Secrets? Really?

The men tell their wives everything for some peace and quiet.

Did you come here just to tell me that?

- Are you Mrs. Karlsson? - No, unfortunately not.

If I were, there wouldn't be any money missing now.

Look. Here are five 1,000-krona notes.

One, two, three, four, five.

I have worked hard for those all my life.

And I want a receipt. Please write one now.

"Received 5,000 krona,

which Henrik Karlsson borrowed from the account."

Yes, borrowed.

And write "final settlement." This shouldn't become a habit.

And your signature.

- Here you are. - Thanks. I can witness it myself.

Thank you. I mean, goodbye.

I'm sorry if I was rude. I'm a fierce woman, but I'm fair.

"The one who has nothing will have it taken away."

- Lots of people in town today. - Yes, it's market day.

Oh, Jesus!

Are you running over a policeman?

I thought you were an ordinary person. You stopped so suddenly, sir.

You should have stopped! There'll soon be a driver's license for cyclists.

Patrolling is dangerous. I'll teach you to respect the police.

- What's your name? - Knut Jönsson.

- Where are you from? - Falsterbo.

That's an aggravating circumstance.

- What are you doing here? - I'm the mayor's new farmhand.

Are you, my dear boy? I didn't mean to treat you badly.

I have to keep an eye on traffic. It's no fun to be hit. One could be badly hurt.

If you want some information on traffic matters, please come to me.

No, but you could try to watch out better next time, Constable.

- Månsson is very clever. - A real traffic genius.

- He'll probably be mayor after me. - As long as it's nothing worse than that.

Without me, this town would revert back to a farm village.

The conditions are right for that.

I have an idea! I'll come round to you.

Yes, please do.

You see, we are having a traffic week in town.

I want to hire you as a special constable.

Traffic week? But you have neither streets nor traffic here.

We need to confuse them. We need to shake them up a bit. They have it too good.

Why should people be able to go wherever they want?

No, we need lots of signs and markings.

So that they can get run over in this town, too?

- Surely I can't be a policeman? - Of course you can.

- You're crazy. - Yes.

But that benefits both me and the town.

Can you make anyone a constable?

As mayor, I can do whatever I want.

- Well, power corrupts. - Exactly.

All right, as a favor to you.

- But it's your responsibility. - Just take it easy.

It's a bit cramped here. Move down to the annex.

- Thanks, I'd love to. - You can use the whole floor.

- Thank you. - Let's go and find a uniform for you.

You'll need a shoehorn to get into that one.

Today's policemen look like boys. No one is fully grown.

We'll try this one. It looks more promising.

Yes, this fits perfectly.

If I just have the right clothes, I have the right shape for a constable.

And the saber.

No, damn it! We abolished those a long time ago in this town.

Skanör's only defense...

- The caps are up there. - ...in case there's a revolution.

- This one... - No. You're not an inspector yet.

Oh, is that the next rank? I may reach that by Saturday.

- It's seen better days. - Today it will see its best day.

- Now I'm in charge of defense. - Good. Toughen up.

And use your swagger.

- Will you help me if there's a fight? - Absolutely. You can count on me.

- There... Oops! - Excuse me.

- Are you here again, Månsson? - Have we got a new constable?

- Yes. Have you met him? - Aren't I good enough?

Yes, but I've hired one for the traffic week.

- Is he a real policeman? - No, he's a Skanör policeman.

- Are all the signs up? - Yes, but there are lots left over.

- All of them should be put up somewhere. - Right.

- I'll find somewhere to put them. - Please do.

- People are angry about the signs. - It'll pass, Månsson.

Hello, there.

If the cows are using the sidewalks, you should be using the road.

Go and ride on the cobblestones.

Where's your traffic sense? The geese had right of way.

Yes, come here! Don't be afraid. I'm not a real policeman. Come.

Here you are.

Sir, it's against the law to drive while intoxicated.

- I haven't set off yet. - And you're not going to.

- Come with me to the police station. - Oh, you have a police station here?

It'll be fun to see what it looks like.

- Let's go, my dear Constable. - I'd better lead you.

Be my guest, Constable.

You can drive down that road, Miss.

But it's one way from the other end.

Oh? Then you have to drive around the block, Miss.

Then I'll end up in the same place.

That's true. That's actually true.

- There's an alleyway. Use that. - But traffic is banned there.

Is it? That's a shame. That would have been perfect.

But what about that street?

- It's also one way from the other end. - Oh, is it?

Then you have to go that way, Miss.

- But I'm going that way! - What difference does it make?

The town is so small that it hardly matters.

- Bikes will probably be rationed soon. - That would be good.

No more than four trips a month. That would be good. Have a look here.

So, take that... No, it doesn't work. It's no entry.

- That one, too? - It doesn't work.

There's no entry here. You will have to go back, Miss.

You may never be able to leave. You have to register to live here.

- Use that street. I'll close my eyes. - But I'm going that way!

Just go. Any way you like. Just go.

Look! They are going where it says no entry.

- How can they do that? - Well, they didn't ask.

M 34697.

- Stand up when a policeman speaks to you. - Of course.

I'm so sorry.

- What's your name? - Johansson.

- Can I see your driver's license? - I don't have one and I don't want one.

You won't need it after this. Your driver's license will be recalled.

Recalled? You can't recall something that doesn't exist.

What? Exist? Doesn't exist?

We'll have to issue a license.

Justice must be done. The license must be recalled.

Well, that is something you decide for yourself.

- Put these in folders, Månsson. - Yes, sir.

Is this the "moyar"? I mean mayor.

I have heard that you are such nice man, sir!

- Take it easy. - Be nice.

- What is this? - A drunk driver from Malmö.

Drunk driver? Those are lunatics. Drive him back to Malmö where he's based.

- I will do, sir. - He seems to be a bit too much of a mayor.

Good timing, Henrik. Take over here. Månsson is driving the road hog to Malmö.

We are all road hogs Road hogs, road hogs

And everywhere we hear them...

- Calm down. - Come on!

Gentlemen and ladies. I have to withdraw. So long!

And so tall. He could barely get through the door.

- He was nice. We could have kept him. - For goodness' sake, no.

This town is such an idyllic place.

- Come on, let's go. - Yeah, it's time to let go.

Come on, my dear Constable.

That fat policeman looked like Karlsson from Malmö.

- Karlsson who? - Henrik Karlsson.

Yes, his name's Henrik Karlsson and he's from Malmö.

Then it must be him.

- Who? - The money thief.

- Has he stolen money?! - Yes. Several millions.

- Can you prove it? - I can provide written proof.

- In the return for the lift. - I would appreciate written proof.

- Where can I find a policeman? - Just go through there.

- Is this supposed to be a police station? - Yes. What are you supposed to be?

Someone has stolen my car that was parked outside the guesthouse.

- Really? Please sit down. - Thanks.

- Name? - Dodge Cabriolet.

Dodge Cabriolet. Any other first names other than Dodge?

That's the name of the car, obviously.

Here in Skanör, cars don't have names, they have numbers.

- That's the same in Malmö. - So what's your name?

- My name is Gösta Josefsson. - Gösta Josefsson.

Do you think the police is responsible for keeping an eye on your toys?

And that Skanör is a parking place for Malmö?

- What's your number? - M 34697.

M 34...

- M 34697? Is that your number? - It's my car registration number.

- This is where I live. Fourth floor. - I'm not driving you upstairs.

No, that would be difficult, so I'll walk the last bit.

Goodbye, my friend. Thanks for the nice lift.

- Where do I park the car? - I don't know. It's not my car.

What? You've got a nerve! It's not your car?!

Take it easy. I'll sort it out.

- My fiancée has seven million. - And an idiot for fiancé.

I'll send Karlsson's documents.

- That would be kind. Don't forget. - I promise. Bye!

It wasn't his car?

Damn drunk druver... drive drinker... I'm too angry to say drunk driver!

- Do you know where my car is? - Take a seat at the guesthouse.

- The car will be there in half an hour. - Thank you.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Goodbye.

Who was that jolly fellow?

Månsson has stolen a car and driven that drunk driver to Malmö.

The man who left is the owner of the car.

Månsson will have a bitter pill to swallow.

- What do you mean? - We're going to arrest him.

No, that would be a shame. He's not the most intelligent person.

Don't feel sorry for him. He doesn't feel sorry for you.

I'll sign here and you fill it out before he comes back.

- I'm back now. - How was Malmö?

Well, what happened happened, but I'm sure it will get sorted out.

I've heard certain things that could put a certain person behind bars.

Many people ought to be there. Who?

I can't tell you right now. But when the chain of evidence is ready,

we'll strike. No one beats me when it comes to solving crimes.

That's good. Constable Karlsson wants to speak to you.

Constable Karlsson? I feel sorry for certain policemen.

- What did you want? - How dare you ask me that?

- You're a shame for our police force. - What do you mean?

I should ask you that. You steal a car and drive a drink driver to Malmö,

while you're on duty.

Don't you realize that we as policemen have to set a good example?

- Can I see your driver's license? - I don't have one.

What? No license?

A policeman without a driver's license. Now that's some story.

- I've never had one. - That doesn't make it any better.

You smell of alcohol. Have you been drinking?

No. I tasted a few drops from the bottle in the car.

Drunk driving. This gets better and better.

Based on the information I have received, I'm arresting you here and now.

Here is the arrest warrant. Report to custody as soon as the cell is free.

You can end up inside when driving outside.

That's the worst policeman I've ever seen.

- Well? How did he react? - I don't know.

I gave him the arrest warrant and he'll have to put himself in custody.

Signed by the mayor himself.

- What a beautiful dress. - Yes, isn't it?

I wish I could join you in Malmö.

Another time. We have a good time at the parties in Kungsparken.

Hello, sweetie.

I have two pigs for you that I have arrested.

They can be your playmates.

It's those little ones who will become jellied pork one day.

Hey! What are you up to?

- I'm fixing the bars. They're falling off. - Who asked you to do that?

Månsson. I have to work for my board and lodgings.

I hope I won't see you for much longer.

What? Are you leaving your job, sir?

- No, but I'll be asking you to leave soon. - What's the point of that?

Can't I stay as a permanent prisoner?

Someone needs to be in the cell.

No. I don't want any prisoners here during the winter.

- I'll store potatoes there. - I see.

- That looks heavy. - Yes, indeed.

Those are nice apples. Is it windfall fruit?

- No, it's good apples. - I'll give you a hand.

- Jesus. - Oh, my God.

Now it is windfall fruit.

Let's pick them up together.

- This was tiresome. - An apple caused problems a long time ago.

He's picking apples as if he were innocent.

But I'll soon pick him up.

And the mayor appointed him as a constable.

It's not only the harbor that needs cleaning up.

He looks nice and kind.

On the surface, yes. But underneath he's a different person.

One dare not let the girls out at night.

Well, should they be out and about?

When the police force is made up of thieves and fugitives,

it's time to put one's foot down once and for all.

We need to clean up this town. We need to send a delegation to the mayor

and tell him that we're not accepting this.

That traffic cop has already got one foot in the handcuffs.

- The worst problem is the traffic signs. - What's wrong with them?

They're very confusing.

I don't think so, because I put them up.

- Oh, are you here, Uncle Henrik? - Yes, I'm happy in the kitchen with Lena.

I'm going to tell you something exciting. I'm madly in love.

Can't you talk to Dad, so I can invite him? You will both like him a lot.

Hang on a minute. I can only answer for myself.

You could say that you know him and his father...

It's bad enough to lie about the son. Do I need to lie about the father, too?

- I've no idea who he is. - Please help me.

I'll do my best to lie.

- All is fair in love and war. - Thank you.

- Thank you, Uncle Henrik. - That was an extra bonus.

Yes, we should stick together. We'll band together.

- Everyone should get the one they love. - Let's agree on that!

Oh? Well, that's good.

Tell me...

Do you know Special Constable Karlsson from before?

- Of course! We are childhood friends. - Right.

But do you really know him well?

Well? We are childhood friends. Didn't you hear me say that?

- I'm just asking as part of my job. - I understand.

Please be kind enough to get down from the roof.

- No, we don't want to be kind. - Don't want to? Well, then...

You'll have to stay there then, damnit.

- That's a beautiful song. - Yes, isn't it?

Vera. I have told the mayor that you have met a lovely young man in Malmö.

- I suggested dinner on Sunday. - What did Dad say?

You can't let a young girl outside without her dragging a man home.

She's her father's daughter.

Lena wants to invite him to dinner on Sunday.

I was going to talk to you about that.

- Really? Do you know the family? - Yes. The father. He's a very decent man.

- I see. - I guarantee it. It's all good news.

- What does the young man look like? - He's short and blond... No, not blond.

More sort of dark... Somewhere in between.

Tall. I mean short.

I haven't seen him for a long time, so I can't quite remember.

- He's probably changed. - Have you known him that long?

Yes. He and I... The father and I... He and I and the father...

- We are old friends. - Then you must join us for dinner!

Okay. One has to eat in any case.

- Thanks. Is the father coming? - No.

Will you keep an eye on the funfair tonight?

Yes. I'm taking Lena there in any case.

There's no doubt.

It's a Hungarian Gyllen. 1568.

You're worth a fortune, my little friend.

There. And now we're going to have a look at you.

- He's coming, Dad! - Don't disturb me.

My garter snapped.

This is remarkable...

- Please come in. - Thanks.

- Good evening, Lars. Welcome! - Good evening, Vera.

Oh, how sweet. Thank you.

- Damn, what's this?! - That's the mayor speaking.

Come, I'll introduce you.

- What are you doing, Dad? - Good evening, sir.

Oh, right. I'll shake your hand later. I must find a valuable coin.

- I know where it is. - Do you? Give it to me then.

- No, I can't right now. - Now, I said!

Well, don't look. And you have to look the other way.

- Here you are, Dad. - Thank God.

- Where was it? It's warm. - Do you really want to know?

- How do you do? Welcome. - Thanks.

Have you seen such lovely roses?

Thank you. Go into the lounge. I'll be there shortly.

Thank God.

- Sweetie! - Look.

- But it's... - Yes, little sweetie.

Come.

May I introduce you to my lovely Uncle Henrik. Mr. Klang, law clerk.

- What was the name? - Klang.

Karlsson. Still.

- Dinner is served. - Thanks.

Please take a seat over there.

Right.

Please.

It's not a gala dinner, just an ordinary everyday dinner.

You're boasting, Dad.

- Lena and I have worked very hard. - Have you?

- Vera has found a very handsome young man. - Has she?

No, you first.

- Here you are. - Thanks.

Right...

Well, there we are...

It's an incredibly lively conversation...

You shouldn't talk while you chew.

What do you think of the new restrictions?

Well, what can you say?

- I agree. - Well, I say... Cheers!

- Cheers. - Thanks, but I don't drink alcohol.

Really? Are you worried what your father would say? Is he a teetotaler?

He's damn well not. Cheers.

"How was copper wire invented?"

"Two Scotsmen fought over a penny."

Good night. I'm off home now. If anything happens, let me know.

No sleep tonight. The mayor has guests.

You'd better be ready.

The mayor might need a fourth man for bridge. Good night.

Good night, Månsson.

Don't laugh, you damn...

What's going on? I won't have that in my house!

What's up with Uncle Henrik? I don't recognize him.

- Unfortunately, I do. - Do you know him? Have you fallen out?

No, he is my father.

What? Why didn't you say anything?

- Were you playing a joke on us? - No, it's more serious than that.

What should I have done? I had no idea he'd be here.

He didn't say anything, so I couldn't either. I was waiting for an explanation.

You have to apologize!

I can apologize to you, but not for what I've said to the boy.

Coming here under a false name

and just sitting there pretending nothing's happened.

- What has happened? - You can see what's happening.

- You sang his praises. - I've apologized for that.

- You spoke well of the father and son. - Well, the father is an idiot.

- You seem to know them well. - Yes, too well, I'm afraid.

I am the father.

- If I had known, I wouldn't have come. - Speak to him.

My father and I have fallen out over a matter I can't discuss.

And he's angry because I changed my surname.

What will the mayor think about me now?

May I have a word with you?

- Lars is so sorry about this. - Really? He was laughing while I sang.

I can tell you why we laughed.

- We were speaking about you. - Yeah?

I said, "If I hadn't met you, I would have fallen in love with Uncle Henrik."

- See. You're laughing too! - Yes, it's all complicated enough.

- No, it's something else. - I feel sorry for you.

- Are you kissing me? Am I a stand-in? - Surely I can kiss my father-in-law?

- What if I won't become that? - Then you have to hand the kisses back.

I want Lars and no one else. Whatever my father says.

- You haven't asked me. - I didn't know you were his father.

I didn't know that either, until now.

Well? Can I?

- What? - Marry him?

Only if you promise to become Mrs. Karlsson rather than Mrs. Klang.

Karlsson has a nice ring to it.

The name doesn't matter, as long as one's happy.

- The damn geese seem angry. - Yes, they are very angry.

I'm going to name them Skanör and Falsterbo.

Why have you got so many animals? You don't have a farm.

Haven't I? Come, I'll show you my farm.

- What do you think of this farm? - Oh! I'd love to be an animal here!

- Yes, they are treated very well here. - Look!

Nothing's missing from this farm, except maybe a wife.

- Who will take that place? - Who knows? You could apply for it.

No, if I'm going to be a wife, I want a proper proposal first.

Imagine if I knelt down and said,

"Lena, I love you. I will carry you in my arms through life."

That sounds wonderful. Such words can make a woman happy.

Yes, everyone I have said them to have been happy.

- But it only lasted over a weekend. - It's nice anyway.

We women know that men just try it on.

But Lena, what if I said this,

"Lena, I like you. How about us trying to live together?"

"It may not be much fun, but we could make the most of it."

It sounds a bit too prosaic.

Yes, one can't be truthful with women.

Lena, I love you. I want to whisper the sweetest words in your ear.

- Damn it, the pigs are on the loose again! - Henrik...

Come on. Stop!

Come on.

Come on!

There we are. Let's see...

"One cup whole milk, seven tablespoons of butter, a cup of sugar and two eggs."

That's that. "Add two cups of flour."

Flour. That was sugar and that was salt. This is flour.

"Fine flour." That sounds right for a fine woman.

Two cups. This is roughly two cups. That will do.

Two cups.

It'll be a nice cake for when Lena comes over for coffee.

That's it. "Then add..."

"Then add lots of salt and pepper."

Salt and pepper... Here's some salt.

"Lots of it." I'll add some more.

That's enough. And pepper.

Pepper...

There we have it. Lots of salt and pepper.

Right. Now it's ready to go in the oven.

Oh, we've been discovered. The holiday is over.

- Here it is. - Good. Thanks for your help.

What's that fancy dress costume you're wearing?

Fancy dress costume? Mind your words.

You can say what you want about me, but don't speak ill of my uniform.

- I don't owe you any explanations. - No, but 5,000 krona that I've paid.

Otherwise you would have been locked up. Shame on you! Thief.

- Have you paid out 5,000 for me? - Yes.

- Where did you get that from? - I've been saving housekeeping money.

- Shame on you, thief. - What do you mean?

If you've squirreled away money I've given you for housekeeping,

you've stolen 5,000 krona from me!

See how easy it is to become a thief.

Don't cry. All women steal from the housekeeping money.

Go inside now. Don't cry. You'll get everything back next week.

I've heard that many times before.

I'd better continue stealing housekeeping money.

Hello, sweetie! Yes, there you have your friends Robert and Siskan.

If you're staying, you have to sleep in there.

I always have to sleep in tiny rooms.

- How about us getting married? - I don't think anyone would want us.

Something's burning.

What's going on?

- It's a quick cake. It's ready. - It's burnt!

Look! It's stuck.

- Out of the way. - Don't! It could explode.

- I was a volunteer fireman. - Bring a knife!

- Here you are. - Thanks.

Ouch! Damnit!

I'm going home. Unless it's important, I don't want to be disturbed.

May I ask you something, sir?

Has Special Constable Karlsson got a son who is reading law?

Yes. He was at my place earlier. A very nice young man.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, sir.

That was the missing link that will settle things.

- There's your quick cake. - It was so small when I put it in.

- How much yeast did you use? - This can.

You needed one and a half teaspoons.

- We'll give it to the geese. - What have they done wrong?

I must go and buy some cakes and cream.

Can you lend me two krona, Johanna? Then I'll owe you 5,002 krona.

And two month's salary and 18 krona for the taxi.

- Let's call it 5,200. - A treasurer who can't count...

- It comes to 5,140. - We use a machine to calculate. Thanks.

- At least take off the apron! - You could have told me that earlier.

I didn't think you were that crazy.

Who told your daddy that I was coming?

- Excuse me, isn't Mr. Karlsson here? - No, but his housekeeper is.

Oh, that's you. How do you do? He has told me a lot about you.

Don't pay any attention to it. He lies a lot. He can be so mean.

Really?

He tells every woman that he loves them. Except me.

- He has said nice things about you. - Has he?

Yes, he is very kind, but what I mean is...

- What has he said? - I'm not telling you.

Yes, it's a shame, but there's nothing we can do.

You have to leave.

It's inconsiderate to chuck people out like this.

This is no normal rental with three months' notice.

No. But I could have paid off my fine by staying somewhere I'm happy.

I've repaired the building and fixed the bars and the lock.

Now when it resembles a jail, I'm kicked out.

It's unfair, but that's the law.

We will miss you. You've become popular in this town.

Maybe the cell will be used.

I suppose I have no choice but to leave.

But isn't it good to know that you didn't do anything so bad

that you couldn't come back?

Bye then, prisoner.

- And welcome back. - Thanks, Månsson. Thank you.

Is this supposed to be coffee? It's damn weak.

- It's perfect. - It tastes good.

Who says? My coffee is bad. Add another bean.

Turning up in the middle of our coffee...

I've put up with her for 20 years, and will have to do so for as long as I live.

- Surely she likes you? - Yes, that's the worst thing.

You have all the problems of being married, but none of the joy.

- Poor you. - When we have so much to talk about.

Oh, Lena... You really mean that? Yes, you are probably right.

- Where's the coffee? - It's brewing.

Go and check on it. I don't want it burnt.

There seems to be another burning issue here.

- That was nasty of her. - Don't worry about it. She's crazy.

Why would she come from Malmö and have coffee here?

Here she is again. You made coffee quicker than usual today.

- I don't want it! Let it brew for longer. - This is the coffee you ordered.

Did I order this?

Ew! This is like dynamite.

You could strip off paint with this.

I understand what the problem is. I'll go away and the coffee will be fine.

- I feel sorry for her. - Yes, I feel very sorry for her.

She's a good person really. Very sweet and kind deep down.

She has done me some favors I will never forget. This last one...

She has a heart of gold.

She's quite good looking, too. I mean she's clean and proper.

You can't build your life on love. People in love shouldn't be allowed to marry.

When you're in love, you're crazy. You don't know what you're doing.

One day the love is gone and you find yourself unhappy.

A really good companionship, that is worth something.

Imagine two good friends who strive together through life, sharing everything.

That would be something.

Love come and goes, but housekeepers lasts.

- The piglets are on the loose again. - What? Are they?

Write: "Your Honorable Mayor."

Now when we know that Karlsson didn't steal any money,

lots of people want to pay back the 5,000 krona.

From now on, stealing money from the company account won't be allowed.

Continue writing: "Treasurer Mr. Berg has passed away,

"but he left a letter confessing everything,

"which is why we regret our unfair treatment of Henrik Karlsson."

"We are repaying the 5,000 krona he has paid

"and offering him the position as treasurer of the company."

"Yours faithfully, Skånsk Kålexport AB."

Now you know that I haven't had a criminal employed as a constable.

This is the criminal whose only crime was standing by his word.

No need to worry about the future of this town.

- Exactly what I said. Word for word. - Did you?

At the meeting you said, "What will happen to Skanör with a mayor like that?"

No one pays any attention to what's said at meetings.

One doesn't know what one says.

- Aren't you standing by your word? - You aren't either.

- You may have misheard. - It's not worth fighting over.

Now, now. Calm down, gentlemen.

Let's douse the anger with champagne.

Then we'll arrest him straightaway.

Yes, I'll let you know the result.

To avoid any more misunderstandings, I want to let you know

that today I have announced the engagement of my daughter Vera

to Lars Karlsson, my old friend Henrik's son.

- Congratulations! - Congratulations.

At the same time, I suggest a toast to my friend Henrik,

who is likely to leave us, as he has had a wonderful job offer.

Excuse me for interrupting,

but if there's going to be a speech it should be about the mayor.

I assure you that you probably don't realize

what a great mayor you have in this town.

For such a small town, you have an unusually great mayor.

I will never leave this town of my free will.

Every street of this town is idyllic,

and potatoes grow everywhere, all the way out to the harbor.

I'm happy with my birds and my piglets.

This is the only place in our country where you can have a farm in town.

I ask you to raise your glasses for the mayor and--

Stop! I suggest we also raise our glasses

and appoint Henrik as an honorary citizen.

Hip, hip. Hurrah! Cheers!

- Let's throw him into the air. - Yes.

The ceiling's too low. Let go of me.

Stop! I'll get him! You are hereby arrested.

Take your hands off him. If anyone's taking him, it's me.

Månsson is always too late.

But I was allowed to get him when the chain of evidence was ready.

Yes, but today you can't take anything, except a glass of champagne.

More proof of how idyllic this town is.

There are so few criminals that the police have to arrest each other.

Cheers, Månsson. Thanks for your good will. Now we're even.

- I don't understand anything. - We already knew that.

THE END

Subtitle translation by Tina Engström