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1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:03,336
No, no! Don't kill us!
2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:07,041
Our metal band is supposed to
play the talent show today!
3
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:08,307
Metal!
4
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,811
If you kill us, we'll curse you.
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,647
Yeah! In the name of Satan.
6
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,050
Satan!
7
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,918
Long ago...
8
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:23,357
there was only one who
may judge the living.
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,725
- Who?
- Yeah, tell us what to believe in.
10
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,429
- Yeah!
- His name was...
11
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,396
Mr. Pickles!
12
00:00:30,429 --> 00:00:31,597
- Huh?!
- Huh?!
13
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,734
These sacrifices have got to stop!
14
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,670
Oh, the sun! Ugh! Mr. Pick...
15
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:40,407
Where did everybody go?
16
00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:43,892
S02E09
Talent Show
17
00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:47,151
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
18
00:01:05,786 --> 00:01:07,701
Breakfast is ready!
19
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,536
- Thanks, Mom!
- Okeydoke. Thank you.
20
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,871
- Talent show, huh?
- Mm-hmm, I guess.
21
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,373
I wish I could be in the talent show!
22
00:01:14,406 --> 00:01:17,076
But I don't have any talents.
23
00:01:17,109 --> 00:01:19,712
Yes, you do! Tell that joke of yours.
24
00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:23,417
What's the difference between a duck...
25
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,621
- Oh!
- I don't get it.
26
00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:30,490
It's the way he says it that's so funny.
27
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,891
- Mm-hmm.
- Come on, boy.
28
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:34,727
Let's go write jokes
for the talent show!
29
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,396
Hey, I have an idea.
30
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,599
- Let's...
- No way.
31
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,334
I am not going to the talent show.
32
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,668
Why not?
33
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,003
I cannot stand by
34
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,239
and watch Tommy tell
jokes that aren't funny.
35
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:50,944
If you go, I'll give you a
special surprise tonight.
36
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,112
Oh!
37
00:01:52,144 --> 00:01:55,281
Hey, that Mr. Pickles is evil.
He's been...
38
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,853
Oh, you never believe me. Bye.
39
00:01:59,885 --> 00:02:02,121
♪ Doo doo doo doo doo,
la la la la la ♪
40
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,992
You got it all over my face, man.
41
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,793
Oh, no, mine's stuck!
42
00:02:06,825 --> 00:02:08,929
- Here, let me try and suck it out.
- Cool.
43
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:11,298
No, you gotta cock it while you suck.
44
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,498
- Cock!
- Hi, guys!
45
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:13,767
Huh?
46
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,103
I'm writing jokes for the talent show.
47
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:18,472
I'll show you what's funny.
48
00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:19,673
Huh? Hey!
49
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:21,307
- Ha!
- Hey!
50
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:24,945
If you want your book back,
go into that haunted house!
51
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:31,617
Come on, boy. Don't be s-s-scared.
52
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,288
Hello?
53
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,955
Aah!
54
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,457
I think my book's up here.
55
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,660
Aah!
56
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,795
Oh, it was just birds.
57
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,298
Hello?
58
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,665
Anybody here?!
59
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,801
Oh, it was just cats.
60
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,810
Oh, the window! But where's my book?
61
00:02:56,842 --> 00:03:00,146
- Looking for this?
- Huh?
62
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,816
Where's your face?!
63
00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:06,819
Aah! Mr. Pickles!
64
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,992
I'm sorry I frightened you.
65
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,562
Would you like something to eat?
66
00:03:15,594 --> 00:03:17,030
Huh?
67
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:19,832
♪ Dom dom dom, doo doo doo ♪
68
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,268
♪ I never loved you ♪
69
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,236
- Hi, Sheriff.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm busy.
70
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,171
The talent show is about to start.
71
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,008
The seats aren't filled,
and I can't find my...
72
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,610
Hey, Sheriff, uh,
go easy on Tommy up there, would ya?
73
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,180
But make it quick.
I got a special surprise waiting for me.
74
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,549
Hey, I found this in the bathroom!
75
00:03:35,604 --> 00:03:36,421
Oh!
76
00:03:36,474 --> 00:03:38,084
- Give that to me!
- Ha ha!
77
00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:40,920
Sheriff, Mr. Pickles is evil!
78
00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:44,091
Here, blow up these balloons.
79
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,525
Okay.
80
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,932
You see,
my father had a face on his butt,
81
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,367
his father had a face on his butt,
82
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,969
his father had a face on his butt,
83
00:03:57,002 --> 00:03:58,938
and his father had a face on his...
84
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,307
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
85
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:04,444
Oh, I haven't left these
grounds in many years.
86
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,948
- Why?
- The world is a cruel place, Tommy.
87
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,449
So, what's this book of yours?
88
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,885
Oh,
it's filly with jokes that I've written.
89
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,721
- Let me see.
- Oh, okay.
90
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:18,391
Hmm. Why did the shoe fly away?
91
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:22,295
- I-Is that it?
- It flew away!
92
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:27,000
I could help you write some
better jokes if you want.
93
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,835
You know how to write jokes?
94
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:30,637
Oh, I know how to do many things.
95
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,407
Hey!
Musical instruments are not for dogs!
96
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,978
My condition gives me
a lot of free time.
97
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,781
Also, chapped lips.
98
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,749
Would you like some?
99
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:44,084
Uh, no, thanks.
100
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,819
- King-sized chocolate bar?
- No, thanks.
101
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:53,159
Ew!
102
00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:56,163
Have you seen Tommy?
It's about to start.
103
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,463
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sure he's somewhere.
104
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,434
I'm pretty excited about
this special surprise
105
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,601
you're gonna give me a
little later on tonight.
106
00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:04,103
It's been a long time...
107
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,838
Oh, hi, there. You got a knife in you.
108
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,473
- Uh, hmm.
- Ugh!
109
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:11,677
Hello! Uh, we've...
we've got a really great show tonight,
110
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:12,946
I think.
111
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:18,384
Um, but... but first, I need you, um...
112
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,454
to...
113
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,956
make some noise!
114
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:25,625
♪ Come on, come on, yeah! ♪
115
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,494
♪ Put your hands up,
put your hands up ♪
116
00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:29,128
♪ Hippity, put, put,
put your hands up ♪
117
00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:31,130
♪ When I say "talent",
You say "show" ♪
118
00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:33,300
- Talent! Talent!
- Show! Show!
119
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,569
♪ Brace yourself, sucka,
I'm about to blow so ♪
120
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:37,670
♪ Also, my name, my name,
my name is Sheriff ♪
121
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:40,307
♪ When I get up on the mic,
you better be-wareth ♪
122
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,709
- Talent! Talent!
- Show! Show!
123
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,578
Now freeze!
124
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,812
Okay!
125
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,147
For our first act,
126
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,483
Floyd's gonna do a
sword-swallowing routine.
127
00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:54,820
Give it up for Floyd, everybody!
128
00:05:56,588 --> 00:06:03,196
And then the old man says, "I'll have...
the soup."
129
00:06:03,228 --> 00:06:07,233
Okay, but the emphasis should be on
"soup," not "have."
130
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,435
Now, let's move on to prop comedy.
131
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:12,004
Oh, snack time.
132
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,507
It's 3:00?!
133
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,709
The talent show's already started!
134
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:19,446
Oh,
I've always wanted to be in on of those!
135
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,515
But I'm too afraid of being ridiculed.
136
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,950
But once people see how nice you are,
137
00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:27,420
they'll forget how disgusting you look.
138
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,221
Oh, uh...
139
00:06:29,254 --> 00:06:30,957
Hey, get away from there.
140
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,894
Well, let me just get my things,
and we'll go...
141
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:37,297
Excuse me.
142
00:06:37,329 --> 00:06:40,933
♪ While strolling through
the park one day... ♪
143
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:44,370
Up, up, and away!
144
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,139
Ow, ow, ow.
145
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:50,043
Watch in amazement as we
shoot a deer blindfolded.
146
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,880
- Whoo-hoo!
- A round of applause, everybody!
147
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:57,082
- Hi, Grandpa.
- Hey, Mr. Pickles,
148
00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:58,918
you better not try to sacrifice...
149
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,387
- Dad?
- Okay.
150
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,088
Good luck, son. You're gonna need it.
151
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:07,026
All right, up next,
Hank is gonna juggle knifes.
152
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:11,730
- Huh?!
- Oh!
153
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:12,932
Give it up for Hank.
154
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,435
I gotta stop going to talent shows.
155
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:20,439
All right, up next,
give it up for person I don't know!
156
00:07:21,151 --> 00:07:22,509
Good luck.
157
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:40,160
♪ From the witch's staff
sprung a mighty stallion ♪
158
00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:43,096
♪ With the strength of
a thousand dragons ♪
159
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,966
♪ The horse was named Gregory ♪
160
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,436
♪ And no mortal man could tame him ♪
161
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,204
♪ From the depths of
the Sea of Solitude ♪
162
00:07:52,237 --> 00:07:54,940
♪ Stepped a woman worthy ♪
163
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:57,776
♪ She slipped a potion
from a magical wizard ♪
164
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,447
♪ That could help but
tame that stallion ♪
165
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,184
♪ The wizard said,
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" ♪
166
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:06,719
♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ♪
167
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:08,487
♪ Ha ha ha ha ♪
168
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:12,559
♪ And that woman,
she drank the magical potion ♪
169
00:08:12,591 --> 00:08:16,161
♪ And transformed into a unicorn ♪
170
00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:19,031
♪ The unicorn and
the stallion mated ♪
171
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,535
♪ With the dragon and the wizard ♪
172
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:25,371
♪ And they said,
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" ♪
173
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,907
♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ♪
174
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:32,745
♪ Ha ha ha ha-a-a-a ♪
175
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,713
Thank you.
176
00:08:35,591 --> 00:08:36,348
- Freak!
- Freak!
177
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:37,650
- Monster!
- Monster!
178
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,385
You suck! You suck!
179
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:44,024
Hey!
You should be ashamed of yourselves?
180
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,860
- Huh!?
- I was gonna do some jokes,
181
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:49,663
but you don't deserve to laugh.
182
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,499
Oof!
183
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,868
Oh, ho ho ho!
184
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,702
- We have a winner!
- Yay!
185
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:58,672
♪ Put your hands up,
put your hands up ♪
186
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,206
♪ Hippity, put, put,
put your hands up ♪
187
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,676
♪ When I say "talent",
You say "show" ♪
188
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:07,012
I'm sorry everyone was so mean to you,
189
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,049
but I thought you were great.
190
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:14,354
You think I need a talentless
cripple to tell me I was great?
191
00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:15,888
- Huh?
- Give me that trophy,
192
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:19,192
or I'll cut your face off
and put it on your butt!
193
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,596
My trophy!
194
00:09:25,671 --> 00:09:29,101
Dinner's ready!
I made a two-cheese lasagna.
195
00:09:29,134 --> 00:09:30,937
Yum, yum, yum, yum!
Oh, boy, am I stuffed.
196
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,940
Tommy, go to bed. Uh, how about that
special surprise we talked about?
197
00:09:33,972 --> 00:09:35,240
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm?!
198
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:37,043
It's not a two-cheese lasagna,
199
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,913
it's a three-cheese lasagna!
200
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,815
Surprise! Mmm, mmm, mmm.
201
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,216
Oh, oh.
202
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,720
Oh,
I didn't get to tell any of my jokes.
203
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,054
Tell us one now.
204
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:51,625
What's the difference between
your wife and your job?
205
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:55,294
In five years, your job will still suck.
206
00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,072
Still suck!
207
00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:00,666
I don't get it.
208
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,636
I know you don't.
209
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,239
Hey, where's Grandpa and Mr. Pickles?
210
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,442
Hey, what are you doing with that?
211
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:12,077
Chain saws are not for dogs.
212
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,413
Hey, Mr. Pickles,
213
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,914
you better stop...
214
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,850
Hey, that's Tommy's trophy.
215
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,085
Give that to me.
216
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,087
No, I deserve it.
217
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,590
I'm the most talented person in to...
218
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,661
Oh!
219
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,196
What?! Hey!
220
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:31,931
Mr. Pickles!
221
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,167
Oh. Huh?
222
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,137
What the hell?!
223
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:04,331
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
224
00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,573
- Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.
15700
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