Original subtitles

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting "howdy, neighbor" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[ mumbling ]

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

[ TV ] As we steer our boat down,

looking for these dangerous predators.

Oy, there's a king 'croc right there!

He must be four meters, 12-13 feet long at least.

This 'croc has enough power in his jaws

to rip my head right off. - [ mumbling ]

I've got to be careful.

So what I'm gonna do is sneak up on him,

and jam my thumb in its butthole.

Holy crap, dude!

If I get bit out here,

I'm 200 kilometers from the nearest hospital.

I better be real careful

jamming my thumb in its butthole.

Oh, boy he's pissed off now.

Go, dude, go!

I'm gonna jam my thumb in its butthole now!

This should really piss it off.

Oh, yeah, that pissed it off alright!

I've got to be careful!

This guy rules!

[ mumbling ] I told you guys.

Well, that was quite an angry 'croc,

but I managed to escape with only a few bruises

and a shattered left testicle.

Next week we'll look for more of these beautiful creatures

so we can learn more about them

by pissing them off immensely.

Thanks for watching.

Dude, let's go look for crocodiles.

Yeah.

[ Cartman ] there's bound to be some 'crocs up here.

I'll use my 'croc call and try to bring them in.

Bananas, bananas.

That's not how a 'croc sounds, you fat-ass penis!

Oy, now I'm gonna kick my friend Kyle

in the beanbag and see what happens, by crikey!

Get away from me, Cartman!

Come here, crocky.

Ahh!

Dude!

Help! Uhh!

Good job, Cartman, you killed Kyle.

[ mumbling ]

Well, he shouldn't have called me fat.

Why the hell not? That's like calling the sky blue.

Well, screw him. He's dead. Let's go look for crocodiles.

[ Kyle ] You guys!

Hey, he's still alive. Kyle, are you okay?

I think so. Is Cartman up there?

I'm right here, Kyle.

Cartman, you fucking hunk of fat rat fucking

hunk of pig fucking ass face.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Say that to my face, pussy!

Can you climb back up, dude?

I don't think so.

Dammit, I guess I'll have to go get him.

No, come on, you guys. Let's look for crocodiles.

[ grunting ]

Whoa, dude, this is making me sick.

Sick, dude.

Sorry.

What the hell are you doing, fat boy?

[ Cartman ] Screw you, hippy!

Come on, dude, I want to get out of here.

All right, just grab the rope.

Wait a minute. What's this?

Ahh! Ahh!

Dude, it's a dude!

He's like some frozen guy.

[ Cartman ] Come on, you guys, it's getting cold up here.

Shut up, Cartman.

Dude, I saw this in a movie once.

The old cavemen get frozen,

and then people discover them

and make them their caveman friend.

Wow, cool.

You guys, there's a frozen ape man from the past down here.

Send some more rope. - Really?

Hey, there's a frozen guy down there.

Help me chip some of the ice away.

[ Cartman ] Hey, you guys,

this is just like that one movie,

and John Travolta and that French chick

were doing it all summer long,

and they went back to school

and sang songs about greased lightning.

You know, that movie, the Sandra Dee chick

is all prissy, and then the Italian chick

gets an abortion, but she--

[ together ] Cartman, will you shut the hell up

and get some more rope?

Ah, screw you guys, anyway!

Hey, remember when that kid found a wallet, and he got a reward?

Yeah, sweet. Maybe we can get a reward for the frozen guy.

Hooray! Hooray!

[ Cartman ] Hooray.

[ Stan ] Where should we bring it?

[ Kyle ] I don't know.

We just have to get it to town

and then let them figure out what to do with it.

I think I'm gonna name it Gorac.

No, dude, we have to name it Steve.

Steve? What the hell kind of caveman name is Steve?

It's my name, and I found him.

You didn't find him; I found him.

What are you talking about, dude?

I fell down that abyss, and there it was.

You wouldn't have even noticed it

if I hadn't pointed it out.

Kenny, who found the iceman?

[ mumbling ]

I think we're almost there, you guys.

All right, people, the next order of business

is a very serious matter.

We need to vote on whether South Park

should reinstate the death penalty or not.

All those in favor, say "yippy".

Yippy! Yippy!

Wait, what was that? I missed the question.

Yippy.

All those oppose say "nay".

Nay. - Screw you!

Hey, screw you!

Excuse me.

Not now, kids,

the town is having a very important debate

on capital punishment.

But we found a frozen iceman from the past.

I found this frozen guy in the woods today.

No, I found this frozen guy in the woods today.

What the hell is going on here?

We came for our reward.

Yeah, like the kid with the wallet.

Reward, what reward?

Mayor, I think the boys may have stumbled onto something here.

You see, mayor, frozen links are often found.

Dinosaur eggs, woolly mammoths...

This specimen could be a missing link in our evolution.

If I can unfreeze the body and perform an autopsy,

I could learn much about this creature's people and its time.

Sure, sure, sure, be my guest, knock your socks off.

Thank you, mayor.

Oh, and, boys,

I can't give you a reward for finding this creature.

But if you'd like, I'll let you name him.

Really? Sweet! How about Steve?

Steve it is.

Wait a minute, his name is Gorac.

Come on, Steve, we've got work to do.

Unfreezing this body will be quite delicate work.

We'll have to use the most advanced methods available.

This is very exciting.

He could be a Neanderthal,

or an Australopithecus from the Paleolithic era.

Do you see that, Kevin?

These clothes are from Eddie Bauer.

I haven't seen anybody wear clothes from Eddie Bauer

since...1996.

This is incredible.

Think of all we can learn from this body.

All that it can teach us.

Let's just hope the press doesn't get wind of this right away.

Stand back, people, there's nothing to see here.

What about the prehistoric iceman?

Oh, yeah, there is that.

Dr. Mephisto,

could you please tell us what's going on?

Ladies and gentlemen, we still have a lot of work to do.

But it is my opinion that this man has been frozen in time

for over 32 months.

Oh! Yes, it's true.

Although at this early stage

we know very little about this man

or the time from which he comes.

Fascinating news tonight from South Park.

An ancient discovery of a prehistoric man

actually frozen in ice.

A team of scientists continues to try and unfreeze the body

so that it can be autopsied and studied.

The caveman was discovered by Kyle Broflovski,

who had this to say.

Well, I fell down this ice cavern...

La, la, la, la! And I saw this block of ice,

so I called me friend to borrow...

The prehistoric iceman is thought to be

from the late neo-post-Jurassic era,

where he was probably part of a hunting and gathering tribe

that lived on Waterston Street.

That's it, Kevin.

Now we can begin the autopsy.

Uhh...

Huh, what's this?

Mmm...

Holy crap, he's alive?

That's impossible. Do an EKG on him.

Augh!

My God, he really is alive.

The ice must have preserved him.

Well, quick, do something.

No, no, we've got to think this through.

Mayor, this man has not been conscious

for almost three years.

He won't understand what he sees.

He'll be frightened and confused.

Well, you can't just let him die.

Perhaps death is better than the shock he will take

trying to adapt to our time.

Uhh...uhh...

Oh, my goodness, it looks as if he's about to speak.

Where...where am I?

What? What's he saying? Is that English?

What? You're hungry?

Where am I? You're--you're hungry?

What's going on?

Me friend. Friend. Me friend.

Me-phis-to. Me-phis-to.

Huh?

If we could understand what he's saying,

then maybe we could get some answers.

If only there was someone who could communicate with him

on a level as primitive as his own.

A mind like... A child.

Dude, I wanted to call him Gorac.

Gorac's a gay name. - No, it isn't.

Why are you being such a dick?

I'm not be a dick, you're being a dick.

Nuh-huh. - Hello, children,

Dr. Mephisto needs one of you

to help him out in his lab

with the prehistoric iceman.

I'll go.

No, I'll go; I found him.

Damn, I've never seen you guys fight like this.

All right, there's only one fair way to do this.

Everyone one stick out their potatoes.

My mother and your mother

were out hanging clothes.

My mother punched your mother in the nose.

What color blood came out?

Blue.

B-I-o-o... Spells blue,

and that means that you will go to the lab

and help out Mephisto

and then we can all go home

and watch "Murphy Brown".

Steve, you.

Where am I?

Steve. Steve. Steve...

Oh, good, you're here.

Oh, my God, they revived Gorac.

You bastards!

Yes, and I need you to communicate with him.

See if you can understand what he's saying.

Uh, hi. - Hi.

What'd he say? - He said hi.

Very interesting. - Where am I?

What? - He wants to know where he is.

Tell him... Tell him he's home.

You're home.

In the year 1999.

It's 1999?!

He's been frozen for the past 32 months.

Dude, you've been frozen for 32 months.

And we found you-- - What? 32 months?

All right, all right, all right, calm down.

I think that's enough for today.

Good job, dude, you freaked him out.

Oh, shut up, ass master,

you're just jealous that they had me talk to him.

Guess what. You're not my best friend anymore.

Cartman's my new best friend.

Sweet. - Oh, yeah?

Well, you're not my best friend anymore either.

Cartman is now my best friend.

Killer. - Fine.

Fine. - Fine.

Are you Alphonse Mephisto?

The same.

We're understand that you are currently in possession

of the prehistoric iceman from 1996.

That's right. We would like to...

We would like to offer our services

in your experiments.

Oh? Where are you gents from?

From the university...

of America.

Well, there's not a lot to see.

But come on in.

He's still not responding much to us.

The shock is still settling in.

But we've made great progress

now that he's in the habitat. Habitat?

Yes, Kevin and I designed a habitat for Steve

to live in that is completely like his own world.

Everything is 1996-oriented.

♪ All that she wants is a another baby ♪

♪ She's gone tomorrow... ♪

Amazing. He looks so much like us.

Yes, well, Kevin has done a lot of work

in figuring out just how related to us

Steve really is.

He came up with this drawing.

Dr. Mephisto,

we realize that a scientific study is expensive.

We want to help you make this project more lucrative.

How would we do that?

It's easy.

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign ♪

♪ Life is demanding... ♪

As you can see,

the iceman is listening to Ace of Base,

which was a very popular group during his era.

Their primitive drumming soothed his peoples' tempers.

He doesn't look very happy in there.

No, he sure doesn't.

I wasn't talking to you, butt-pipe,

I was talking to Cartman.

Well, I was talking to Cartman, too.

Damn, I'm pretty freaking cool all of a sudden.

Ah, here we see the iceman trying to gain

internet access on the computer.

The internet was still not very big in his time,

so the web frightens and confuses him.

Grrr!

It's okay, he can't hurt you.

This is one-way glass, he can't even see us.

And now the iceman watches television.

This grizzly bear has the strength

of over ten Morgan Freemans!

I'm really pissing him off right now.

Wait, this could be dangerous.

How so? He's changing the channel.

Something on the television

could frighten and confuse him.

And they've done it!

The Atlanta Falcons are going to the Super Bowl!

What?

Grrr!

[ all gasping ]

Grrr!

You guys aren't being very nice to my creature.

He's my creature!

He's fine, boys,

and we're learning so much from him.

Let him out, dude. He's scared.

He would be more scared on the outside.

You think this stuff freaks him out?

How do you think he would react to

what's happening in the government right now?

But it isn't right.

Little boy, sometimes what's right isn't as important

as what's profitable.

Uh-oh!

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!

What? I'm not talking to you.

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign... ♪

Gorac! Gorac! Gorac, are you there?

Oh, hi. What are you doing here?

Viewing hours are 10 to 6.

I don't think it's fair for them

to keep you captive like this, Gorac.

I came to bust you out.

Wow, that's really nice of you, kid. Thanks.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to bust out Steve.

What? You can't. I'm here to bust out Gorac.

His name is Steve! - His name is Gorac!

My name is Larry.

Steve! - Gorac!

Steve!

What kind of stupid-ass name is Steve?

Because he kind of looks like Steve Austin,

"The Six Million Dollar Man".

No, he doesn't! - Does so!

Uh, hey, kids, could you just open the door

so I could get back to my family?

I found him, I'm rescuing him!

Thanks. - You're a dick!

You're a dick! - You're a dick.

And I've had it with your dick-atry! I choose you!

You wanna fight? Well, that's fine with me!

Tomorrow afternoon at the bus stop! Four o'clock!

Why don't we make it three o'clock?!

Because, dude, "Terrance and Phillip" is on at three.

Oh, yeah.

Fine, I'll kick your ass tomorrow, dick!

I'll kick your ass so bad you'll wish

you never had it to begin with!

Your ass, I mean.

Wait...

♪ I just smelled your britches ♪

♪ And they're stinky ♪

♪ Stinky britches, stinky britches ♪

Grrrr!

He's gone. The iceman has broken out.

No, that's impossible. How could he have?

He must have used this... Door.

Damn it! Damn it!

We have to find him.

He won't survive long out in the world.

Yes, and if he isn't found,

we won't be able to use him for our military war--

Shh. - Right.

What? - What? -Nothing.

No, what'd you say? Use him for what?

Blaabbhh!

Dr. Mephisto, where could the creature have gone?

I have no idea.

We'll never track him down on our own.

This calls for some special assistance.

Can I help you?

Leslie, it's me Larry.

Your husband.

Husband? You're not my husband.

Think hard, Leslie, we used to be together.

For over eight years?

I seem to remember a husband,

but I think he was lost

and never found on Kenosha Pass.

That was me. - Oh.

Who is it, lover?

It's my former husband who I'd forgotten all about.

Ooh.

Well, sir, let me shake your hand.

I'm proud to meet the man whose wife

I'm currently sticking it to every night.

So, you remarried?

Yes, Lori-- - Larry!

Uh, Larry.

Larry, you disappeared.

I waited for you to come home for over three days.

I remember how cold and lonely the nights got.

By the fourth day I knew I had to move on.

Didn't anybody send out a search party for me?

We did, Larry. We looked all afternoon,

but we found nothing, no trace.

Please, Leslie, I don't know where else to go.

I'm confused.

Leslie, I'm with Buck now.

You're Leslie. - Right.

I'm with Buck now. We have children together.

Calvin is eight, and little Buck is thirteen.

I can't just up and leave them.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I'll leave you alone.

Eight and thirteen?

Well, I don't see any 'crocs out here.

Damn it, Cartman! You're supposed to be helping me get ready to fight Kyle,

not playing Australian outback guy.

Oy, now I'm gonna let this jaguar bite me in the face

and see if it hurts.

Come on, jaguar, let's see what you got.

Ow!

Ah, son-of-a-bitch!

You suck as a best friend, Cartman.

You son-of-a-bitch cat.

What are you doing, Gorac?

I can't live in your time.

I'm freezing myself again.

Wow, that sucks, dude.

Tell me about it.

I've been doing this for three and a half hours now

and only my toes are starting to ice over.

Steve, wait.

What are you doing here, dick?

We're not supposed to fight until four o'clock.

I've got something to show Steve, dick.

Gorac is busy freezing himself again, dick.

Steve, you don't have to freeze yourself. Look!

What is that?

It's this place called Des Moines.

It's, like, lost in time.

See? Everybody looks like you do.

Fashion is three years behind.

Technology is three years behind.

Fads are three years behind, just like you.

Home.

Come on, Steve, you're going to Des Moines.

Oh, no, you don't, glory-monger.

Gorac is my responsibility.

I'll take him to Des Moines.

No, you won't, butthole.

[ sirens ]

They're coming for me.

Come on.

Yeah, these jaguars can be real mean.

I'm gonna have to smack it in the face.

Was the iceman here? - He might have been, by crikey!

We have to get him back.

Well, can you do it?

Sure I can.

I can hunt down anything.

Wow! Kick ass!

We need a one-way ticket to Des Moines, please.

Des Moines? What the hell for?

We have to get our friend Steve...

My friend Gorac!

To Des Moines or else he's gonna melt away.

No, he's not gonna melt away.

That's Frosty, you stupid butthole.

Frosty, Steve, whatever.

Well, okay, I'll find him a seat.

Dude, look, it's four o'clock.

Oh, we'll wait for you over there, Steve.

We have to start fighting now.

Okay, boys, thanks.

Okay, first one to die loses.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So, here we go.

Okay.

Go.

Ow.

Ow.

Augh!

Wait a second.

I think he came through here recently.

Yeah, I think the same thing.

Well, where the hell is he?

We've got to get him back to the lab.

He can't function out here in our time.

Calm down, calm down.

Yeah, calm down, calm down, you sons-of-bitches.

Wait, look. - Is it him?

No, it's a Rocky Mountain rattlesnake.

This is the most poisonous snake in this entire region.

So, what I'm gonna do is carefully sneak up on him

and jam my thumb in its butthole.

Crikey! Oh this snake is really pissed.

I'm gonna jam my thumb in its butthole now.

Oh, yeah, that pissed it off, alright.

Does he always do this? - Yeah.

I'm gonna go jam my thumb in something's butthole now.

Ow! - Ow!

Watch my coat, dude. - Oh.

I got my ticket. - Huh?

I have to go to platform B.

Oh, okay, it's over this way.

The trail ends here.

The train station?

Then he's trying to go somewhere.

Have you seen a man who looks similar to us

but with a thicker brow and ape-ish nose?

What the hell are you talking about?

An iceman, a man from the past.

We must find him. Now, where is he?

[ grunts ]

Well, this is it.

I'm going back to my time.

Thanks again, boys.

No problem, Gorac. - Later.

You boys have really shown me

the true meaning of friendship.

You didn't care about anything but my happiness.

You put me in front of yourselves,

and that's what real friendship is all about.

Yep. - Uh-huh.

After being frozen,

I've learned that all a person has in life

is family and friends.

If you lose those, you have nothing.

So friends are to be treasured

more than anything else in the world.

Right on. - Cool.

Good-bye boys, good-bye, friends.

Where is he? Where's Steve?

His name is Gorac.

His name is Steve.

The train.

We've got to stop it.

No worries.

Let's get him.

No! - No!

We've got to stop that train.

Come back here, you.

Steve, Steve, look out!

They're after you.

Oh, he's a wily one.

Oh, poop! Steve, look out.

Notice the dilated pupils of this prehistoric man.

A sure sign the prey is frightened.

As well as he should be

as I will now jam my thumb in its butthole.

Huh? Crikey!

Stop the train.

Hey, who are you?

I said stop that train.

Yes, hello, I see you.

You're all moving pretty fast,

but I'll catch up to them, by crikey!

I've got you pinned, I win.

Now I've got you pinned, I win.

[ gunshots ] Oh!

Hey, it's okay, the chopper is here.

Go get him, boys, cut him off.

No! - Now for the coup de grace.

I'll just get my thumb up here.

Ohhhh!

Uh, the train's not stopping.

It's not stopping!

Ahhhh!

Golly!

Where's Gorac?

Wow, that is the God-damned-est thing I ever seen.

Where's the iceman?

He has to be around here somewhere.

I can't believe he's gone.

Wait. Look. The helicopter.

Steve. - He's alive.

Good-bye again. I'm off to Des Moines.

No, come back.

You can't adapt, you'll never live.

I'm not living here.

Living is having ups and downs

and sharing them with friends.

Thank you, Stan and Kyle.

See ya!

Damn! Well, so much for our plan to use the iceman

to take over Sweden.

What? - What? Nothing.

Kyle, Steve is a pretty good name for that guy.

No, dude, Gorac is cool because it's original.

And besides, you found him.

Shh, be very, very quiet.

I'm hunting crocodiles. Ha ha ha ha!

Can we be best friends again?

I hate having Cartman as a best friend.

Me too. He sucks.

Oh, yeah? Well, I don't need you guys anyway.

You guys can kiss my...

Aha! There's a king 'croc right there.

And what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna sneak up on it

and jam my thumb in its...

[ mooing] Hey! Hey, get me out of here!

It smells like...

Hey, it smells like Kenny's house in here.

[ rock music]

♪♪

♪ And you've got stinky britches ♪

♪ Stinky britches ♪

♪ You've got stinky britches ♪

♪ You've got stinky britches ♪