All language subtitles for poppas.house.s01e10.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab_track3_[eng]

What's up, Dad?

Hey.
Just the man I want to see.

I have us two tickets
to the Mets game.

Oh... [laughs][laughs]

Those are kissing words.

Mm.

I'm in.

Great.

It's Friday night,

- me and you.
- Ooh.

I'm out. Rewind.

[imitates tape rewinding]

I'm sorry, I can't make it.

I can't, Dad.

Nina and I are having dinner

with Preston Valentine
on Friday.

Who the hell is that?

My film school buddy, Todd.

Why are you hanging out
with that dude?

- I hate him.
- Yeah,

you hate everyone, all right?

He and I

are jabronis,
with an emphasis on "bro."

We made a pact
that if one of us made it,

we'd bring the other along,

and he just finished shooting
a movie for Paramount.

Paramount? Wow.

Is that thing still around?

The movie's called A Loud Place.

It's like A Quiet Place,
but with an all-Black cast.

Okay, well,
I'm not gonna guilt-trip you,

even though this was
Leon's dying wish.

Come on, man.

Can't you move your thing
to another day?

I'm sorry, man, it's the only
night Preston had available.

Just take one of your friends.
You know, like, um...

[tongue clicks]
Like, uh, t-the guy. Um...

What's his name?
You know, with the, uh... Oh, yeah, yeah.

the one, the one... With the-with the eyes.

- Yeah, yeah.
- With the heartbeat.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Um... Yeah, yeah. Let's face it.

Leon was my only friend.

I mean, there's got to be
somebody you can invite.

Well, there was this one
guy back at the station.

I used to see him
on the elevator all the time.

We really hit it off.

Now, what was his name?

I don't know.

[chuckles]

I used to call him Ten
'cause he worked

- on the tenth floor.
- Yeah, I got that.

A-And he used
to call me Three.

Because you worked
on the third floor.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know,

we had great chemistry.

I mean, we had this little thing

where we would mess with people
on the elevator.

[both chuckle]

Well, he sounds great.
Invite him.

Well, we never hung out
outside the elevator.

- Oh.
- And besides,

I don't have his number.

But you have his floor.

♪ Poppa's ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

So, I think I'm just
gonna invite him over,

and if he's half
as cool as Leon was,

then I'll invite him
- to the Mets game.
- You know,

men have it so easy.

It is difficult for women

to make friends
after a certain age.

And once a woman
gets married and have kids,

she forgets about
all her single friends.

Oh. Is that why
you don't have any friends?

You're my friend.

Yuck.

Let me clarify the "yuck."

Okay, guys don't have female
friends because it never works.

It's all a racket.

The thing about

female friends is
they still expect you

to pull out the chair.

- Mm-hmm.
- They want you to pay the bill

and do all the driving.

Uh, you got to pay
for valet, too.

That part.

And after you do all that,

they go home
and sleep with a guy

that does none of that.

Okay, but male friends
are a racket, too.

It's like having

a puzzle with one piece.

And they're always trying
to stick their piece

in your puzzle.

[laughs]

Exactly. And that is why men
can't be friends with women.

Okay, fine.
So, what are your special plans

with your new boyfriend?

Wait, first,
don't say it like that.

And secondly,

it's just gonna
be a casual hang.

You know,
maybe some sardines, a beer,

handful of pumpkin seeds.

Just to see
if he fits in my world.

You know, Poppa, you're having
this guy come over here

to see if he can
fit into your world,

but sometimes you got to meet
people where they are.

Don't waste the pumpkin seeds.

[elevator bell chimes]

[elevator doors slide open]

[clicks tongue]

Hey, is that
my friend Ten?

Oh, is that Three I see?

- Oh, wow.
- In the place to be.

[both laugh]

- Ding!
- Going up?

[both laugh]

- Whoa.
- Man, I missed you.

Where you been?

I'm not at the station anymore.

What? Wh... I'm-I'm doing a podcast.

- Podcast?
- Mm-hmm.

Man, I love me some podcasts.

- Really?
- GUY: Hey!

Man, hold the elevator.

POPPA:
Hey, don't you worry.

- You take your time.
- Thank you, thank you.

No worries, man.

Ah...[laughs]

[both laugh]

Why do I trust so easily?

Sucker!

[elevator bell chimes]

- Whoa.
- Oh...

Mm.

Ah.

[stammers, sniffles]

[gasping]
Achoo.

Hey, did you just
sneeze on my...

Achoo!

- Oh, that went in my mouth.
- I'm sorry, man.

He just gave me his cold.

Don't worry about it,
it's just herpes.

[elevator bell chimes]

[both laughing]

Man, I missed this.

Yeah, man. Me too.[whoops]

[exhales sharply]
Hey.

You want to hang out sometime?

You mean outside the elevator?

Yeah. Why not?

Ah, gee, man, I...

- No?
- I don't know about all that.

You know what?
Let's do it.

[laughs]:
What? Okay.

You got time
to exchange numbers?

We got all the time
in the world now.

Okay. [laughs][laughs]

[scatting]

[laughs]

What was that, man?

Uh, that's kind of like
a nervous tic,

but I only do it when I'm happy.

Okay, yeah.[sharp scatting]

You can see I'm happy now.

[knocking]
That's probably Todd now.

Uhp, uhp, uhp.

- Preston Valentine, honey.
- Right.

I hope "Preston"
still doesn't blame me

for breaking up your little
film company, Two Jabronis.

Oh, that was years ago, babe.
I'm sure he's over it by now.

- Ah.
- Yeah.

Hello, Yoko.

Yeah.
Completely over it.

Hello, Todd.

Oh, it's Preston now.

Well,

well, well.

Of all the gin joints
in all the world...

You had to walk into mine.

Come here, you jabroni!

- Ah.
- Ah.

BOTH:
Ah, ah, ah, ah.

- Hold for room tone.
- Hold for room tone.

And... cut.

[laughs]
Wow.

Really missed that.

[both chuckle]
So...

Unimpress-ton,
what have you been up to?

Everything you're doing
- sounds so exciting.
- Yeah,

you know,
I just wrapped on A Loud Place,

which I wrote
and directed

and brought in
under time and under budget.

Ooh. [laughs]
Yeah.

I don't really know
what that means.

[laughs]:
She doesn't know

what that means.[laughs]

TODD:
You got to be...

Honey, you wouldn't understand.

In layman's terms,
he did an awesome job.

[laughs]

Oh. And I have

a little surprise for you.

Now, nobody has seen this,

but it's the script
for the sequel to A Loud Place.

Dude.

- Don't you frickin' dare, dude.
- Yeah.

Let's just...
let's see it already.

Okay, well, you know,
Paramount wants a trilogy.

Right.
Right.
Right?

- So you got A Loud Place.
- Mm-hmm.

You got A Louder Place... Of course.

And then, finally... A Loudest Place.

How'd you know that?

Well, here you go.

[chuckles] Yeah. Yeah.[clears throat]

Wow, man.

Why is everything written
in, uh, caps?

Because it's loud, baby.

You see, it's the sequel.

It's bigger and louder.

Yes.
Right? Now, again,

Nobody's seen this, okay? So...

I don't know. You guys
want to do a couple scenes?

What, you mean, like-like
us? Like, act it out?

Yeah, like a rehearsal.

You know, we'll put it
- on its feet.
- NINA: Wow.

Oh, gee, I haven't done this
since college,

but...
[laughs]

...once a thespian,
always a thespian!

Oh...

- Okay. All right, Smalle Berry.
- Okay.

So, I'll set the scene.

- All right.
- You two--

- you're an urban couple.
- Right.

- You're living in a house.
- Mm-hmm.

- Kind of similar to this one.
- Right.

- NINA: Okay.
- Just bigger

- and, I don't know, nicer.
- JUNIOR: Yeah.

Bigger and nicer. Got it?

- Yeah.
- I heard him. Thank you.

Yeah.

So, you guys
are surrounded by aliens

trying to devour you
and your two children.

[gasps]
Dude, I just got chills.

So, keep that feeling.
You know why?

Because you love your kids.

- So much.
- And you love

- your wife.
- JUNIOR: Oh, infinitely.

But you got to choose,

- You're terrified.
- Right.

Two kids.

Two of 'em.[grunts]

And they Black,
so you know they about to die.

Right.

And... action.

[gasps] I hear them
on the roof!

How are we gonna
get out of this?

And then, suddenly,
the window crashes in.

[screams]
No, no, not that window.

The window over there.

- Uh. Yeah. Yeah, that one.
- This... Uh-huh.

[screams]

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're-they're climbing in.

Uh, honey, I don't think
you're gonna make it!

Boom!

Then, suddenly, their handsome
best friend Toddrick

dives through the window,

guns blazing,

muscles glistening
just like this.

And then he kills

three of the Zorbatorbs
and then he says,

get in my car.

But it's only a two-seater.

Because it's a Porsche
911 Turbo limited edition.

Wow, that is
such a cool car.

- Yep.
- But I can't leave.

What about my wife
and my two children?

TODD:The kids

are dead.

Uh, wait, when-when
did that happen?

When did my kids die?

Uh, off-camera.

Yeah, but you can't
mourn forever, you know?

Because you can have other kids,
uh, with other women.

- Right.
- Yeah.

It's what Tina
would have wanted.

Wait, wait, no.

- Hold up. I'm dead, too?
- Hmm? Oh, no,

no, no--
y-you're just bleeding out.

- Uh-huh.
- You see?

You are the, um,
you're the motivation

for-for your husband to become
the hero, in your memory.

- So good.
- Yeah, yeah, just keep reading,
keep reading.

Ah. Oh.
[clears throat]

Okay, um, yeah, right here,
right here.

Okay, uh... [grunts]
Okay.

Little-little more dead.
Like-like...

NINA:Babe!

Go on without me.

I'm always holding you back.

Wait, what?

Just stay focused.

Okay? You are very...

loud, and action.

I'm annoying and I'm the reason

your dreams never came true,
Craymon Jr.

Oh, my God, honey!

They're eating your face!

No.

Even if you do survive,
I'm no longer

sexually attracted to you.

And that's when
the Zorbatorbs come in

and they drag her, screaming,
into the darkness.

No![screams]

Well, life goes on for me.

That's what Tina
would have wanted.

Guess it's just us now,
the two Tabronis.

And...

- scene!
- Wow! Oh, my God.

Whoa.
Oh, my goodness, Yeah.

- dude.
- That went better than I thought.

That was crazy.

Oh, yeah.
It's good to see you.

- Oh, my gosh. Oh.
- Yeah.

Let's dive into
the resolution scene here.

Okay.

- All right.
- Okay.

Craymon Jr.'s in a better place.

- Yes, he is.
- He looks ten years younger

and has a beautiful,
tall girlfriend.

JUNIOR:
Wow.

- I'm thinking Paula Patton.
- Oh.

[beeping]
That's the lasagna.

And I think we've read enough.
Let's eat.

Sure you don't want
- to read the rest?
- I said

let's eat!

You got this, dude.

- Hey, what's up, man?
- ELEVATOR GUY: There he is.

Oh, I didn't know
it was hamper casual.

Yeah, well, you know,
we just two guys hanging out.

You know how we do.

[laughs]

Are you on something?

Uh...

I hope that isn't cigar smoke,

because that triggers my asthma.

Oh. Okay, baby lungs.

Baby lungs?
These are baby lungs.

They're transplants.

What?

They had to give me
three of 'em.

Okay, well, um,
can I get you a beer?

Oh, no.

I'm on the wagon.

- What?
- I've been sober

for ten years.

- Wow.
- Want to see my chip?

Only if I could
put it in some salsa.

[laughs]

You know what,
that's a trigger for us.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Yeah. You know what?
You were more funny

on the elevator, you know that?

You know something?
So were you.

[scatting quietly]

Well, I guess, uh,
you got stuff to do.

Huh? Elevators to ride,

buttons to push.
You know what I mean?

I'll see you later now.

I-I guess that's the case,

because, you know... Hey.

Is this ring from Carbon High?

Class of '78.

Get out of here.

That's crazy, I went
to that same school.

Were you there

when we got half a year off

'cause someone
burnt the place down?

- Guilty.
- What?

And you're welcome.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, I just-I just...

I haven't been
myself in here.

I think it's the
space, you know? It's-it's... What's wrong with it?

I think
it's a little bit too big.

Too big?

Do you have anything,

you know, smaller?

Yeah, I think so.

[scatting]

This is great!

- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, man. See,

I was born in a jail cell, so,

you know,
smaller spaces

make me feel
more comfortable.

Okay, I get it, I get it.

So, um, what were you like

back in your drinking days?

Oh, man, I got to tell you
that I was wild.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Man, I stole this
New Jersey transit bus

and I drove it
to Brooklyn. Backwards.

- What?
- Imagine that.

[laughs]
Huh? Where Brooklyn at?

Where Brooklyn at?
Where Brooklyn at?

[laughing]

Oh, man.

Hey, man, is it getting
hot in here?

Because, man, this is like
Carbon High hot in here.

Really? Um, you want to
go back to the living room?

Uh, no.
Do you have something smaller?

[scatting]

This is even
greater, man.

Well, yeah, yeah,

you couldn't
help yourself. Okay.

Hey, man, you know, I realized
I don't even know your name.

Jarnold.

- Arnold?
- No.

Jarnold.

Donald.

Jarnold.

With a J.

Oh.

Look, man,

my mom wanted
an Arnold, okay?

And my dad wanted a John.

- Uh-huh.
- Thusly,

making it...
♪ Jarnold ♪

Got it? Yeah.

Okay.

So, uh, Jarnold,
would you, uh, like to...

Uh, all my friends
call me Jarny.

All right.
Listen, Jarny...

Uh, no, you got
to call me J.

You got to earn that "arny."

Oh.
Okay, well, J,

would you like
- to play some cards?
- No, man.

I haven't touched
a deck of cards

since I lost my house
playing poker.

Mm.

And I lost my kidney
playing blackjack.

- Oh.
- And I lost my wife

playing with
other woman.

Oh, that's a joke.
[laughs]

Playing with 'em!

[scatting]

[both scatting]

Ooh, okay.

I hope I didn't
offend Nina too much.

You know, she went
upstairs kind of early.

She didn't seem too happy
with that scene.

I mean, you did
kill her children.

[both laugh]

So, look, um,

we've always been
straight with each other.

Jabroni code, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold for room tone.

Yeah.[chuckles] And cut.

So, I'm just gonna

look you in the eye
and tell you...

...you gave up on your dream.

What are you talking about, man?

I didn't give up my dream.

I got a lot of stuff going on.

I got the-the documentary
in a festival, I...

So, you got
a base hit.

But you're never
gonna get

to where you want to go because
you're being weighed down

by a bunch of baggage.

Look, that
script we read

shoots in Malta
in three months.

I need a second unit director.
Guess who I want?

- Me?
- Mm-hmm.

Wait, you're offering me
a directing job?

Yeah, dude.

You're offering me
a directing job?!

- Yes. Listen to me.
- Oh, my God.

I need you to be in L.A.
next week for prep.

Okay? I'll
introduce you

to the studio guys.

It'll be you and me,
just like the old days.

Oh, my goodness!
Thank you, Preston!

Oh, wow.

- Yeah, man.
- Next week?

- Next week.
- That's so soon.

- I mean, the kids are in school.
- Uh-huh.

Nina works from home, so

can do that in Malta for sure.
Maybe she can home schoolMm, cut, cut

the kids... cut, cut, cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Here's the thing.

I'm gonna
need you 24/7.

You see, you and me--
we're gonna be

living and breathing
these Zorbatorbs.

No distractions.
No Yoko.

Because she'sthe one

- who's been holding you back.
- Okay, enough

with the Yoko stuff, all right?

Her name's
not Yoko.

I know, it's... it's...

- It's Nina!
- Uh, it's Nina. Yes.

I love her very much,

so put some respect
on her name, all right?

Think of who
you could have been without her.

I'd rather think about
who I already am with her.

The guy working at

her dad's
foam roller company?

[scoffs]
Could be worse.

Could be

the narcissistic director
of A Louder Place.

Whoa. Shots fired.

Yeah, man.

And let me tell
you something.

I'm happy with
my life, okay?

Who do you go home
to at night, your camera?

Man, I go home
with anybody I want.

- Megan Fox...'s assistant.
- Oh.

Um,

Halle Berry...'s
- ex-groundskeeper.
- Mm.

And then,

um, for a little while there,

Angela Lansbury.

...'s granddaughter?

No, Angela Lansbury.

Yeah, murder wasn't
the only thing she wrote.

[laughs]

That's gross.

- I know.
- Um...

Well, I'm gonna
look you in the eye

Mm-hmm.and tell you the truth, okay?

Jabroni code.

Now, you may have a nice life

and a great house,

but you don't have a home.

I have everything
I want right here.

For what it's worth, I think
you're wasting your potential.

I'm gonna go back

to the hotel and pack.

If you ever
want to get serious...

...you know where to find me.

Hey, I heard that.

Are you okay?

Yeah, you know?

Like you always say...

[imitating Poppa]:
...never regret
standing on principle. Mm.

[laughs]

That's right, because
friends come and go,

and I hope that that one goes.

No, man, you know,
I'm not gonna cut him off.

You know, I'm just gonna
set some boundaries.

You're a better man than me
'cause I would have cut him off.

Oh, I know.

That's why
you can't find anybody

to bring to the Mets game.

True that.
But, hey,

you got time.
You want to go to the game?

Uh, I thought you were going
with the elevator guy.

Nah, he's too... [scatting]

What does... [scatting]

...mean?

- I don't know.
- Oh.

Well, Dad, I would love
to go with you,

but Nina put up with
a lot tonight,

so I'm gonna
spend some time with her.

Okay, youdo that.

Yeah.

So, who you gonna take?

♪

Oh-ho!

You know,
this was so nice of you

- to make me your baseball buddy.
- Yeah, well,

you know, I didn't want that
extra ticket to go to waste.

Poppa, you could have
given this ticket to anyone,

but you picked me instead.
Why?

- Truth?
- Yeah.

I think Leon would have
wanted it this way.

He would have said "D,

"take the doc.
She's good people.

I don't like her laugh,
but she good people."

That is the sweetest,
most thoughtful...

Oh, my God!
We're on the Jumbotron!

CROWD [chanting]: Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug...

- Marker.
- I don't know.
Oh.

But if you change your mind,
you know where to find me.

Why does everybody
keep doing that?

[both scatting]

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