Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

[twangy upbeat music]

♪

- [snoring]

[alarm rings]

- Huh? Huh? What? What? What? What's going on?

Oh, man. What time is it?

I think I overslept.

Gah! I was supposed to meet the girls at the beach!

I hope they stick around till I get there.

All right, time to crush it.

[rock music]

♪

[grunting]

♪

Yeah.

[mumbling]

Ahh, breakfast in a can.

♪

[gulping]

Oosh!

♪

[groans]

[glass shattering]

Facciabrutt'.

I can't let the girls see me like this.

I gotta get cleaned up.

[grunting]

Ah, c'mon.

What's the deal?

Oh!

[grunts]

Hoo-boy, how long was I out?

Ew. Long enough for all this crud

to get stuck on my shell.

[sniffs]

Ohh, nasty.

Ahh, let's get this show on the road.

[scatting]

- Well, there goes the neighborhood...

for the better.

[party horn honks]

So long, you big pink loser.

[laughs]

- [snoring]

Huh?

[yawning]

[humming]

Ohh!

Augh!

- Ohh!

- Pthew!

[trills tongue]

Uuuup.

Time for my pre-breakfast snack.

Come on out, yummy treat.

Smashy! Smashy! Smashy! Smashy!

Whoa!

Ugh! Hey, where are you going, Rock?

I don't wanna move.

I already live next to my best friend Squidward

and the little yellow guy.

[panting]

[grunting]

- Huh? Huh? Huh?

What the? Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

How'd I get back here?

- Mm...doot.

Hup.

- Huh?

Oh. What do you think you're doing,

ya oobatz' parasite? Sheesh.

- What the?

Oww.

- Hi, Rock.

I'm trying to enjoy a snack.

- Hey. The name is Tony, not Rock.

And I think it's time for you to vamoose.

- Huh? What's a...van moose?

[horn honking and tires squealing]

- Heh-heh, you're a few pickles short

of a jar, ain't ya, kid?

I'll make it simple: this is my shell.

I live here. You don't. So beat it!

- Oh, no.

You can't fool me.

This is my rock, and I'm not leaving.

[grunts]

- [grunting]

All right, ya gabbadost', stay up there if you want.

I've got places to be.

- Where are we going?

- Mel's Man Salon.

- Ugh!

- Argh!

- Best place in town to get a manly makeover.

- Oh, heh-heh-heh.

[growls]

- [scoffs]

- Mmm...ooh.

[all mumbling and growling]

- Hey, Tony.

Good to see you again, but you're late.

- Oh, sorry, Mel.

I overslept a little.

- A little? Your appointment was for 30 years ago.

- 30 years? Oh, hey, I never was a morning person.

- Ah, you're tellin' me.

Tony, come on over.

I got a chair all ready for youse.

[light upbeat music]

- Ooh, heh-heh-heh-heh. - Mmm.

- [gulps]

- Mel, you still give the closest shave in Bikini Bottom.

Could you do one more thing for me, though?

- Ah, sure, anything for you, Tony.

- Take a little off the top... of my shell!

- Ehh. Ehhhh.

[grunting]

Ooh!

Uh...heh-heh.

That tickles.

- Well, it was worth a try.

C'mon, kid, time for our next stop.

[stately orchestral music]

- Oh, no, I don't want a bath.

I already had one this year. Ew!

- Don't get your Bermuda shorts in a bunch, buddy.

We're just here for a shvitz.

- Ow!

- [yawns]

I'll tell ya, kid, this is doing wonders for my back.

I must have slept on it wrong for the last 15 years or so.

- [gasping]

- Oh, if it's too hot, you can always leave.

- No way.

I'm just a little thirsty.

[bell dings]

[slurping]

Mmm-ah.

Mmm-ahh.

[upbeat guitar music]

- Here we are, kid. Last stop.

Ho-ohh, there they are.

Hello, ladies.

- Oh, so now he gets here.

- We've been waiting 30 years for you, Tony.

You're lucky turtles live so long.

- I know, I know, my apologies, but never fear.

Tony's...huh?

- Say, who's this?

- Oh, you didn't say you were bringing

your pet parasite.

- Oh, now, this is a cute...

- Uh, hello.

I didn't get all dolled up just to be treated

like snail litter.

[grunting]

That's it!

[grunts]

All right. I've had it up to here with you.

[laughter]

Eh-heh, heh-heh-heh-heh.

Excuse me a second, ladies.

- Arrgh. - Oh hey, Tony.

Check out all this cool stuff I didn't know I had in this attic

I didn't know was here.

- Buttagots.

This ain't your attic, and that ain't your stuff.

- Look.

The kitchen had everything I need to make omelets.

You want one?

Oops. Ah. Time for a new frying pan.

- That ain't a pan, you jamoke.

You're melting my record collection.

- Oh.

Oh, that would explain why the stereo isn't working...

- My hi-fi.

Oof! Pasta vasul.

- Oh. This is so cool.

Look, there's a bed hiding in the wall.

Ooh, I wonder if there's anything else

hiding in the wall.

Maybe candy.

- My wall art!

- No. Nothing here. Dang.

Nope. - Argh.

- [grunts]

- Hyaah!! Get out of my shell!

- Get out of my rock!

- My shell.

- My shell. Uh, duh, wait, rock.

[both grunting]

- [chuckles] This is exciting.

- I've got a fiver on the parasite.

- Hey. That's my butt.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, now your butt is my face.

[grunting]

I'm taking my home home.

- Oh, no, you're not.

- Ehh!

[both grunting]

- Ehh!

[both grunting]

- H-h-h-h-help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Oh.

[both grunting]

[traffic light dings]

[both grunting]

- Hey. Hmm.

[laughter]

- Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha.

- Hey. Get off of me, ya brats.

- Aww, gee whiz. - Just having a good time.

- Aww, you guys...

- [grunts]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Hey. You forgot your to-go order.

- Thank you.

Ohh. My shell!

- My rock.

both: Our home!

[sobbing]

- Yeesh. Couple of babies over here.

- Who needs this weepy mess?

- Yeah. We came to see action.

Let's vamoose.

[horn honks]

[both sobbing]

- Oh, Tony, I'm so sorry.

- I'm sorry too, kid.

- If we hadn't been fighting, we'd both still have a home.

[both sobbing]

Hey. Wait a minute.

I know another rock we could share.

- Really? Hey, maybe you ain't so brainless after all.

- [slurping]

Ahh.

- Ahhh.

[scatting]

Hey, ladies, check out my new shell.

both: Ooh, lookin' sharp, Tony.

- [mumbling]

My house!

Come baaaaaaack.

[twangy upbeat music]