Original subtitles

♪ ♪

- SquarePants and Star Babysitting?

Oh, please.

What do you two nitwits know about taking care of babies?

- Just watch.

- Huh?

[panting]

- Safety pin.

Ointment.

- Doo-doo.

[cries]

[sucks]

- Aw, such a good wittle squiddy.

- No one in their right mind

would ever hire you as babysitters.

- Yoo-hoo! Babysitters!

I could use some babysitters here.

- Oh, boy!

[bang]

- [screams]

[groans]

- SquarePants and Star babysitters at your service.

- We sit on babies.

- Not literally.

- Yeah, not in Italy.

- Now you kids behave, and listen to the babysitters.

Bye, now.

- Bye.

[overlapping chatter]

- Whoa!

A whole legion of little darlings.

All right, Patrick.

You take the east flank, I'll take the west,

and we'll try to establish a nap zone in the middle.

- [laughs]

These babies are no match for my...

Toddler Style.

[grunting]

[continues grunting]

[groans]

[babies crying]

[grunting]

[babies gasp]

[babies giggling]

[groaning]

[hollering]

[babies crying]

[babies screaming]

[chewing]

- [babbling]

- [panicked grunts]

[continues babbling]

- [screams]

- [chattering]

- [exhales]

[babies crying]

[babies cheering]

[whistles]

Bring her down!

- [grunting]

[vacuum hums]

[babies murmuring]

[babies babbling]

- Yeah.

both: Shh!

- [humming]

- And they all lived happily ever after

inside an oyster shell.

- Aww.

Thank you, SquarePants and Star.

- Babysitters!

- Skinny or chunky! Clean or funky!

- We won't get paid if your kid's mislaid.

- Oh, boys. Right here.

Oh, I could use a babysitter.

- Ooh! - Hey!

While you go out and dance and revel...

- We will watch your little devil.

- Yes!

Ooh, thank you.

Thank you.

- Hey, where's the baby?

- She's inside!

I'm free, I'm free.

[cackles]

- Hm.

[confused mutters]

- Baby.

Baby?

- Is this the baby?

- No, I don't think so.

- Huh. Ooh.

This looks like a nice baby girl.

- She's nice, but she's not a baby.

Wait a minute.

Aww, I found the baby.

[scary music]

- [yelps]

It's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.

- Patrick, all babies are beautiful.

Even the ugly ones.

Hey, we don't know what the baby's name is.

- She looks like she's been in the tub too long.

Let's call her Baby Prunes.

- What a pretty name. Little Baby Prunes.

[laughing]

- [screams]

Who are you? Where's Lazy Mary?

- The baby can talk!

- Help, help! It's a robbery!

- No, Patrick.

Baby Prunes is just mimicking what she's heard.

It's just baby talk. She's babbling.

- I'm not babbling, you boneheads.

- Din-din time.

Here comes the airplane.

[mimicking train]

[gulps]

Yum.

Playtime!

[grunting]

Kids love to build things with blocks.

- Heh. Oh, I'll build something all right...

[harmonica music]

- Whoa, Patrick, we've been playing in here

for three hours. Better check on Baby Prunes.

You know what's the best part of playing jail?

- No. - Jail break!

- Jail break!

[grunting]

- I gotta pick this lock and get outta here.

- Oh, there you are.

Come on, come on.

- Nap time.

- [grunting]

Put me down, you yellow scouring pad!

Unhand me!

No.

Get me out of here.

[mumbling]

- [vocalizing]

- [grumbling]

- Oh, who's a colicky baby?

It's you. Coochie coochie coo!

I'll go up and prepare a bath

for Baby Prunes for when she wakes up.

- Okay, while you're doing that, I'll just space out.

- [grunting]

- Hm. Strange.

There don't seem to be any baby items in here.

Okay, pills, pills, dentures, more pills, hemorrhoid cream.

Ew.

Happy birthday to mother on her 137th birthday.

Aww.

[gasps] 137th birthday?

[panting]

Oh, Baby Prunes isn't a baby! She's an old lady!

- [snarling]

Ah, come on.

- [mumbling]

Is that a puppy I hear?

I didn't know they had a puppy.

What is it, puppy?

You want to go out?

- [grunting]

Arf! Arf, arf!

- Here you go, puppy.

- So long, sucker!

[laughs]

[barks]

- The puppy knows baby talk, too.

- Patrick, she's not a baby!

[grunting]

Where's Baby Prunes?

- I don't know. I just let the puppy out.

- That was no puppy. That was an old lady.

An old lady that we're responsible for.

both: [yelling]

- If you were an old lady, where would you go?

- I don't know. Back in time?

- What about a sewing circle?

- Yes, a sewing circle back in time.

[yelling]

- Come on.

[boom]

Old Lady Prunes?

all: Huh?

- You seen a baby that's really an old lady?

- Oh, look, they have schmutz on their faces.

[gurgling]

[hocking]

- No, not that.

- [whimpering]

[overlapping chatter]

- Ah! Where's Baby Old Lady Prunes?

[upbeat music]

all: Yeah!

- Yee-haw! Lava-bunga!

- Ahh!

- I'm okay!

- [laughs]

both: Yeah!

- Ah! What are you doing? You don't have a parachute.

- Parachutes are for babies.

[laughs]

[continues laughing]

Oh, yeah!

[grunts]

[laughs]

- Prunes!

- Old Lady Prunes!

- Old Lady Baby Prunes!

[bell ringing]

[punching]

- [yelling]

- Huh?

[all grunt]

- Well, if it isn't my two babysitters.

You humiliated me.

- Prunes, you're alive.

- And still talking baby talk.

- Why I oughtta...

both: [screaming]

- Aww. Pruny wants to play. Nice old lady.

[grunting]

- [laughs]

[pounding]

- [murmuring]

[snoring]

- Aww.

Her boxing tuckered her out.

[thud]

- [humming]

- Aww.

both: Shh.

- Ahh. Another job well done.

[sniffs]

Uh, Patrick, I think she needs to be changed.

- No, that's me.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪