Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[spooky music]

♪ ♪

[thunder booms]

- [panting, whimpering]

- [screams]

♪ ♪

[doorknob rattling]

[loud thunking]

[screams] - Grandma!

No! [screams]

- [laughs] Get her, Grandma!

[laughs, yelps]

[grunts]

I'm the ghost of Plankton!

Wooo! [yelps]

[grunts]

Hey, that gives me an idea.

[grunts] [bright music]

[Karen buzzes] [babbles]

Hmm, if I were a ghost,

I could walk right through the walls of the Krusty Krab

and take the Krabby Patty secret formula!

[giggles] - Ah!

All right, that's it.

You ruined another movie night

with your secret formula garbage.

- [yelps]

- I'm pulling the plug. [whirrs down]

- [groans] Ah. Let's see.

Now all I need to do is invent a...

[grunts] Ghost extracting machine!

[laughs, grunts]

[machine blipping, rattling]

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[eerie music]

[grunting]

[whistles]

I look like I just saw a ghost.

♪ ♪

[whimpers]

[laughs] Success!

[giggles]

[laughs giddily]

[hums, laughs]

You gotta give up the ghost if you wanna make toast.

[grunts] What?

No, no, no!

Stupid ghost hands!

[sobs]

- [cackles maniacally]

- What?

- [laughing hysterically]

[dramatic music]

[laughing continues]

- What's so funny? Stupid ghost!

- You are, that's what.

You can't just float in on your first day

and pick things up.

[laughs]

[quirky music]

[chuckles]

Here you go. Oh, grab it.

Grab it! Get it! [laughs]

- I can't grab it!

[wheezes]

- I like you, squirt.

I got a soft spot in me dead heart for thieves.

- [whimpers]

- I can teach you how to pick things up.

- [squeals] I love you.

- But first, you need to learn the "basics" of being a ghost.

both: [laughs]

[bell gongs] - [grunts, babbles]

First lesson... [wolf howls]

Shape-shifting.

Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things

a ghost can do.

You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof!

[screams]

[snake hisses] [bat squeaks]

[in Pearl's voice] You become it!

- [screams]

- Now, you try.

- Hm...

[grunting]

[chicken clucking] I did it!

- [groans]

That's not horrible.

What were you thinking? Bad ghost!

Bad! - [groans]

[coughs]

- Hmm. Now, that's horrible!

- Now can you teach me how to pick things up?

- Not yet.

- Hm? [grunts]

[babbles]

- Next lesson, scaring.

♪ ♪

Pay close attention, squirt.

This is how you scare someone.

- [chuckles mischievously] - [cackling]

[cat shrieking] Huh?

Hm...

- [screams]

- [shrieks]

[whimpers]

- Okay, my turn.

- [grunts softly]

- Shh. Someone's coming.

Watch me scare this dummy real good.

[screams] [thunder booms]

[shrieks]

[dramatic music]

- Well, you scared yourself.

I guess that counts.

Next lesson.

- [shouts, whimpers]

- Haunting houses.

[thunder booms]

- [snoring]

- All right, pupil, it's time to apply all you've learned

and frighten this guy's legs off.

- With pleasure.

- Eh.

♪ ♪

[murmurs]

[chuckles evilly]

- [screams] Who's there?

Ohh, is that you, SpongeBob?

[whimpers]

[gargles]

[whimpers]

[gasps]

[screams]

- [grunts, babbles]

- [low groan]

[screams]

[screaming]

[babbles]

[whimpers]

- Oooh.

Monster mouth with a bucket of ghost goo--

very good marks.

[chuckles] Nice haunt, swabby!

- [whimpering]

[panting] Oh, what a terrible nightmare.

Oh, thanks for being here, Clarry.

You'll keep the monsters away. [inhales]

[lively tune playing]

[both grunting]

- Give me that!

- Clarry! [dramatic music]

[both grunting]

- [imitates SpongeBob's laugh]

- [screams]

- [laughing continues]

- [groans]

♪ ♪

[jaunty clarinet tune]

[quirky music]

- Hey, I picked something up!

I can pick things up! [vase crashes]

- Look at you.

You skipped ahead to the last lesson.

- It's okay. You don't have to--

[grunting]

- Last lesson!

How to pick things up.

[eerie music]

As you discovered, to pick things up,

you gotta get really angry!

- Why didn't you say that in the first place, moron?

- I have nothing left to teach you.

- Oh, yeah?

- [grunts]

[babbles]

[sniffling] [emotional violin music]

My boy.

[dramatic music]

- [laughs]

[grunting]

Oh, I'm really angry. Here we go.

Yup.

[babbling]

Ah, ah. Oh.

Oh! [laughs]

[grunting] [bottle clanking]

Blasted bottle! It's always something!

- [laughs] - What?

- Guess you didn't think that one through all the way, did ya?

- Dead jerk.

- [laughing]

- Well, I'm calling it.

This ghost racket is for the birds.

I'm going back to my body where I belong.

Hmph!

- Hmm...

- Huh?

I don't remember leaving the lights on.

Wha--huh?

[somber music]

[indistinct chatter]

Yeesh.

You can't leave your own carcass alone

for ten minutes in this town!

- And now, if anyone has anything

nice to say about Sheldon, this would be the time.

- [snickers] - Shh.

♪ ♪

- Um, Plankton was small and... [sniffs]

And green and loud!

[sobbing hysterically]

- All right, come on.

It's okay.

- Yeesh.

This is the worst funeral of mine I've ever been to.

But watch these idiots scream when I get back in my body

and jump out of that coffin.

- [cackles]

Ya can't go back in your body now.

You're dead, ya dodo!

- I'm not dead. I'm just a temporary ghost.

My body is in suspended animation, that's all.

- [giggles]

[tense music]

You mean, this is an empty vessel?

I haven't possessed a body in years!

- You can't do that! That's my body!

- Not anymore!

- [whimpers] Huh? - [laughs]

♪ ♪

Rarg! I'm alive!

It's great to be back!

all: [gasp] - Oh!

- No!

- [giggles] Ta-da!

- [sniffles] Plankton's alive?

Hooray! [yelps]

- I knew it!

- He's alive? [overlapping angry chatter]

- Let's squash him!

all: [shouting angrily] - ♪ Dee, dee, dee, dee ♪

♪ Da, da, dee, dee, dee, da ♪

Wuh-oh. [screams]

Eh? Reowr?

all: [growling]

- [yelping]

[whimpers, yelps]

- Oh!

I can't watch them do that to me!

- [grunts]

[groans]

[grunts]

Here! Take it.

Those people are angry. Whew!

I never thought I'd say this,

but I'd rather be a dead me than an alive you.

Bye!

[yips]

- [grunts]

[groaning, grunting]

[sighs] My body feels great!

- There he is! all: [growl]

- [whimpers] [laughs]

Hey, everybody. [nervous laugh]

Uh, who wants to hear a ghost story, huh?

[laughs] Anyone?

[quirky music]

You know something? Ooh!

[grunting] It's great to be alive.

[grunts, groans]

[grunting] Ouch! [yelps]

[laughs]

- The end!

[screams]

[laughs]