Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[groovy music]

♪ ♪

- [whistling]

- [groans]

[bell dings]

- Squidward, order up! -SpongeBob!

Don't you know how to keep quiet?

- I don't know, but hum a few bars,

and maybe I can fake it.

[laughs]

- [groans]

Sorry for getting angry with you, SpongeBob.

I'm just very concerned about your health, that's all.

- Oh, that's okay, Squidward. You know, just the other day,

I--what, my health?

- Yeah, it's probably nothing. Forget I brought it up.

- What about my health, Squidward?

What do you know?

What's my body been saying behind my back?

- [grunts]

Well, if you really want to know,

it's the gap between your teeth.

- My gap? I have a gap?

What's wrong with my gap? Gap!

- [shudders]

- A gap that big between your teeth

can be extremely dangerous.

You can get something caught in it.

- [grunts]

- It obstructs your airway, and now, you can't breathe.

- [wheezing]

I can't breathe, I can't breathe!

Call a doctor!

- No need to call a doctor, SpongeBob.

- [grunts]

- I will be your dentist.

- You will?

[groans]

- [groans]

Guess I got to use good old-fashioned tentacle grease.

[grunts]

- Ow!

- [grunting]

[drill whirrs]

- All better. That should seal up

that drafty gap. - Ah!

- And kill the whistling.

[laughs]

[deep voice] - Well, thank you,

Dr. Squidward!

Say, without a gap, my voice sounds almost...

cool.

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

You know, with this voice, I don't need whistling.

Oh, I've got to sing!

[jazzy music]

[jazz scatting]

Flip, flip, flip, flap!

[jazz scatting]

♪ ♪

- Oh, where is that heavenly voice coming from?

I must--huh?

- [jazz scatting]

- Oh, blowfish!

Does he have to ruin everything for me?

[groans]

- What a dreamy voice! - Wow, it really swings.

[clamoring]

- [jazz scatting]

- Hey, everybody, look. SpongeBob is cool now!

- [purrs]

- Hmm, maybe I can use SpongeBob

to get in with all those cool people at the jazz club.

Yeah!

[grunts]

- [purrs]

Yeah. - Hey, SpongeBob.

Owie, owie, owie, owie! Um, how would you

like to accompany me to my favorite jazz club tonight?

- Oh, boy, would I? That sounds so cool.

all: Aw!

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[snapping]

- Oh, man, that beat is so pure, it hurts.

- Ah, my people! Hey, hipsters.

It's groovy, cats. I can dig it.

all: Lame.

- Hm, turn away from me, huh? We'll just see.

Oh, it's past 8:00. Where is SpongeBob?

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[all gasp]

- Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats.

Oh, I can dig it.

- [yelps]

[shoes squeak]

- Oh, welcome, man.

You're the coolest customer we've ever had.

- Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy.

- Can I seat you at the coolest table?

♪ ♪

- No, thank you. I'm here to meet up

with a real cool cat.

Oh, there he is. Hey Squideroonie!

- Ah!

- [grunting]

[foghorn blares]

- You're with him?

- [groaning]

Yes, you're with me. And he is my--

best...friend...

- You heard the man, folks. He's by best friend.

Can you dig it? - Huh?

Huh.

- I guess he's...

cool?

- I don't know, man. Something smells lame.

- Hey, CoolBob, why don't you sing

everybody one of your singing cool tunes?

- Oh, no, Daddio. I really couldn't.

[snapping]

[grunting]

- Well, okay, maybe just one ditty.

Then I'll get out your hair.

- And I will accompany you on my licorice stick.

[groaning]

Just as I planned.

[laughs]

[off-key clarinet]

[groaning]

[boos]

- Would you care for a mute, sir?

All the great jazz musicians use mutes.

- Hey, that's right, they do. Thanks, Daddio.

- A-one, a-two, a bop-bubbly boo.

[gargles]

[jazz scatting]

[clamoring]

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[high-pitched jazz scatting]

- [gasps]

[high-pitched vocalizing]

[low-pitched jazz scatting]

[cheers and applause]

[snapping]

- At last, I'm cool! Mwah!

[laughs]

[laughs]

Go on, go on--

- That was so cool, it caused structural damage!

You got to play some more for us cats.

Don't leave us hanging.

[high voice] - Oh, aren't you nice, I--

- Uh, sorry, man. We're going to bounce, you dig?

Hey, we got to go spread some more joy, baby.

But we'll be back tomorrow night to blow the roof back on.

[cheers and applause]

- Yay--

[jazzy music]

- Thanks, Dr. Squidward. That was so much fun

being "cool" for one night.

- We are going to stay "cool" every night if it kills us!

Got it, Daddio? - Okay, best friend.

[laughs]

- We just have to make sure

that gap in your teeth stays closed.

Say cheese. - Chee-

[gargling]

- [grunting]

[bright music]

♪ ♪

You ready, Daddio?

[deep voice] - Baby, I was born ready.

[jazzy music]

[jazz scatting]

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

- Cool. - Real cool.

- This next one goes out to all the--

[high voice] ladies!

[high-pitched jazz scatting]

- [grunting]

- Take it, Squidward.

- I'm going to start this solo on a high note!

[sharp inhale]

[muffled notes]

[off-key clarinet]

[groaning]

- I knew he smelled lame.

- [low-pitched jazz scatting]

- [growling]

[jazz scatting]

- [groaning]

If I'm not allowed to be cool anymore,

then neither is SpongeBob!

[yells]

[groaning]

Oh, uh-huh.

[screams]

- [jazz scatting]

Zoop, zop, zlim, zlam, jam!

Bam!

[high voice] - Yeah, okay.

[groans]

Hey, my gap's back!

[murmuring]

- [groaning]

You see? He's not cool!

He's square! He's a food-flipping fraud.

- [laughs]

[whistles] Sorry.

Did you hear that! My whistle is back, too.

Who needs singing when you can whistle?

[whistles]

- [groaning]

all: Ooh, yeah.

- What--what's going on? Why are you snapping?

Stop snapping!

- That's the most righteous sound I've ever heard, man.

Follow the leader of cool!

[grunting]

[whistles]

[all grunting]

[whistling harmony]

- Hmm, you know what?

If that is what passes for "cool" now,

then I don't want to be cool anymore!

[grunts]

Huh?

[groans]

- Oh, you're not leaving this time

until you pay for the damages first, Daddio.

[whistling] - This stinks.

[groovy music]

♪ ♪