Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

[slack-key guitar music]

♪

- Oh. Mm...

[moans]

Oh.

- Karen, I--

- [gasps] Oh, sorry, Planky-bear.

I'm just a little distracted

waiting for our baby to be delivered.

- Oh, well, that makes sense.

A baby?

I don't want a baby.

- It's too late to stop it now.

It's been nine months

and the baby is no longer on back order.

- Can we ask for store credit instead?

Ah.

[whimsical music]

[doorbell rings] - My baby's here.

Ah! [guffaws]

- Not if I have anything to say about it.

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

[alarm blares]

[whirs]

[bell rings]

♪

[beam zaps]

- [chuckles]

- [giggles] - [squeals joyfully]

Oh, Planky-Poo, look how cute our baby is.

- Oh, please, that thing isn't even a graphing calculator.

Weak. - Oh, come on.

How can you look at our baby's itty wittle keyboard

and say he's not the cutest?

[gasps] I have the perfect name for him.

Well, don't you wanna know the name?

- Not really. - It's Chip.

He's named after my grandfather.

Oh. - [crying]

- [groans] Great.

Here we go with the crying.

Will you please hush that thing up?

- Oh. [indistinct baby talk]

- [groaning]

[Chip stops crying] Mm?

- There you go. All better.

- Wow, how did you do that so fast?

- Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5

in his cute little keyboard.

- I don't get it.

[tranquil music] - Shhh.

- [groans]

At least it can't get more annoying.

- [giggles] Hello.

[giggles]

[audience cheers and claps]

- [groans]

- [giggles] A little drone told me

you two are new parents.

So I just had to bring over a little present for the baby.

Hello, baby. - [giggles]

- Oh, I think little Chip likes you.

- Obviously not the brightest diode in the box.

- Look, Chip, your uncle SpongeBob

got you a little something.

It's a can of compressed air

to keep your keys nice and clean,

like this. Ah.

- [grunts] Phew.

[grunts]

- [giggles] Ah!

[giggles]

[bubbling]

- [beeping]

- Come on, walk to Mommy.

- [babbles] - That's it.

You can do it.

You're walking, baby.

- [chuckles] You call that walking?

This is walking.

[upbeat music]

This is how you do it.

This is how it's done.

- [giggles, babbling]

[screeching lightly]

- Ah! Mama's big boy is upgrading.

- [laughs]

- Aw.

- [humming]

Whoa, ah. [grunts]

[screams]

[grunts, coughs]

This stinks.

- Let's see if we can find some friends

for Mama's special little boy.

You need to interface with someone fun.

Try that videogame over there.

It doesn't look too dangerous.

- [squeals]

[graphics beep]

- Oh.

[zapping]

Careful, Chip.

Uh, those monsters are too big.

Come out of that game right now.

[dramatic music]

Chip, get out of there.

[grunting]

[slack-key guitar music]

♪

- [laughs] So you think you can do whatever you want

because you're a teenager now.

You just wait until I tell your father.

- [screeches]

- What did you just say to me?

- [groans]

[bubbling]

- I told Chip that game was too dangerous,

and do you know what he said to me?

[screeches]

- And?

- [groans]

Just talk to your son. I need to cool my circuits.

[playful music]

- Ooh, uh, hey, buddy.

Heh, what you doing?

- Eh...

- Yeah, I hear you.

So, uh, what happened at the arcade?

- [mimicking weapons shooting]

[mimics dolphin clicking, groans]

- What?

Your mother stopped your game,

even though you were crushing it?

Your mother clearly doesn't get you, man.

But I have the perfect solution to your problem.

Run away.

- Huh?

- Yes, I said run away.

Take off, see the world.

You do you.

- [beeping]

- Eh, now get out of here, you little scamp.

♪

[humming]

- So, how was your talk with Chip?

- Oh, it went great. He's a good boy.

- Yeah, he wh--where-- where is he?

- Oh, he ran away. - What?

Why would my baby run away?

- Because I told him to. Duh.

- [groaning] Ah! [powers whirring]

- [screams]

- [grunts]

[dramatic music]

- [screams]

[grunts] Karen, baby,

let's be reasonable here.

- You find our son and bring him home this instant

or don't bother coming home.

- [screams] I'm going, I'm going!

[bubbling]

[overlapping chatter]

Chip, Chip.

Where are you, boy?

Come to Daddy.

Ugh, what am I saying?

Chip, Chip.

- Psst, hey, kid, you lost?

- Meh.

- Running away from home, huh? Cool.

Why don't you come hang with me and my buddies?

Oh, don't be scared. In here.

Check it out, guys.

I found us a new friend.

both: [whirring]

[spring boings]

- [whirring]

- [indistinct]

- I know, right? It is cool here.

There's just one thing.

If you wanna be part of us,

we're gonna need your parts.

- [beeps]

- [whirring inquisitively]

Uh-oh.

[squeals]

[menacing music]

♪

- [giggles]

- [beeps alarmingly]

- Oh, come on, kid, don't be like that.

We've all done it.

Get him!

- [screams]

- [beeps]

- [grunts]

♪

[groans, beeping]

♪

[screeches]

- Chip, your mother's gonna kill me if I can't find you.

- [screech] - Huh?

[antennae beep] [gasps]

That's him. He's in trouble.

Don't worry, son. Daddy is coming.

Get away from my son.

- [groans] [saw whirs]

- Mm?

Get away from me!

[screams]

- Father.

[groans]

Leave my father alone.

- Your first word was father.

Wait until I rub this in Karen's face.

[chuckles]

[heroic music]

- [groans]

[tires squeal]

[mimics shooting]

[mimics shooting]

- Oh.

♪

- No! The delicious horror.

Ah!

[bubbling]

- Oh, you should've seen it, Karen.

Chip was all like, "Stay away from my Daddy,

"who is the most brilliant, handsome genius in the world."

- Oh, brother.

- Aw, we had got the best kid ever.

[giggles]

- [whirs, beeps]

[slack-key guitar music]

- Oh! [giggles]

Aw.

- Come on, son, let your old man buy you

a quart of oil.

Whoo-hoo! [giggles]

Yes.

- Sorry, Dad, I'd love to, but I'm leaving for college.

- I went to college.

both: [sobbing]

♪

- [whirs, beeps]

♪

- Eight semesters later...

[lively music]

- [humming] - [chuckles]

Ouch, watch it, Karen.

We don't want Chip to know we're spying

on his first day at work.

- [whistling]

[beeping]

- Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

- [giggles]

[cash register rings]

Mm? Hmm...

[groaning, grunting]

[playful music]

Hey, what...? [groaning]

Ah. Hey.

Hey. Give me my money.

[sobbing]

- [laughs] That's my boy.

[tranquil music]

♪