Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain.

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain.

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants.

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants.

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants.

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants. - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob SquarePants.

- SpongeBob

SquarePants.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [crowing]

- [yawns]

[grunting] Oh, yeah.

There we go.

- Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.

Fluoride to Desktop,

I'm in a position to raise no suspicion, over.

- Cut the poetry, Wordsworth.

Did you get Krab's hair sample yet?

- Keep your pants on, woman.

I'm gonna steal his hairs right out of his razor.

- I'll just grab the razor here...

- Wait. No. Auugh.

[grunting]

[coughing]

Ehhh!

- [whistling] - [gargling]

- Now for the rest of it.

- Augh!

[groaning]

- Well, if it isn't my thieving husband.

So did you bring me the...

- [groans]

- Hair?

I only needed one.

- Hee-hee-hee.

You married a genius, Karen.

Using the DNA from Krabs' hair

and my own DNA from my antennae...

Ouch!

I will create a combo-clone of me and Krabs

to finally steal the secret formula.

- [grunting]

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Behold Plankrab.

- [grunting]

Heh-heh-heh.

Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr.

- How is this a good thing?

- Wake up, Karen.

The Plankton side will know everything

the Krab side knows.

It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby.

- Mm, and we know how successful that was.

- [gobbling]

- This is different,

isn't it, Plankrab, my pretty?

Now, here's my plan.

- Don't waste your breath, Plankteron.

I already mapped out the perfect plot

to swipe that formuler-ererer.

- Great! See you soon, P.K.

[sighs] I love that guy.

Well, half of him anyway.

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

[coughing]

Still got a hair in there.

[scatting]

Where is Plankrab with the secret formula?

It's been over three minutes already.

Augh!

- Hmm, ooh. [grunts]

- All right, Twoface, what's the big idea?

What have you been doing all this time?

- Oh, nothing much-erer.

Just stealin' the formuler-erer...

- Uh-whaaa?

- Taking over the restaurant-erer...

both: Hooray for Plankrab.

He's the best boss ever.

- And kicking Krabs out on his booty-erererer.

- [sobbing]

- B-b-but how?

- All it took me, Hardy, was a hearty handshake,

the world's most persuasive handshake that is.

It's me latest creation.

Put her there-erer, matey.

- An evil handshake.

That's hands down the dumbest thing I ever--huh?

Oh. Ohh. Heh-heh, yeah.

Oh, ohh, ahh, ahh.

Yeah, yeah. Ahh!

Yeah. Ohh-ho.

Oh, your handshake is exquisite.

I'd believe anything you say.

- Then believe this, Swabby.

I'll also be commandeer-ering the Chum Bucket from now on.

- Ahh-ahh.

Sounds great to me, P.K.

- And I'm afraid your services

are no longer required-ererered.

- Gosh, I still can't get over this handshake.

Ahh!

Augh!

I'm over it now.

- Ahh! Plankton.

Some creepy, one-eyed crab took me restaurant.

[sobbing]

- Wait a minute.

I think he took mine too.

[both sobbing]

- I-I-I don't know what happened.

But that was some handshake of his, huh?

I mean...hoo-hoo!

- Snap out of the handshake.

It's a trick, Krabs.

A dirty, beautiful trick.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Ahh! - Ahh!

- [grunting] - Ugh!

- Say, his Krabby Patty tastes even better than usual.

What's in it, SpongeBob?

- Well, it's the same old patty,

except now each one has a pinch of chum added.

- A pinch of ch-ch-ch-chum?

- Good work, me boy-o.

- Wow.

- Me boy-o?

[sobbing]

- [sighs] There's only one way to get

our restaurants back, Eugene.

- Ahh! You don't mean...

both: We gotta work together.

- [coughing]

Hair.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

Mm-hmm. Mm-mm-mm.

Heh-heh-heh.

♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

[whistling]

[both chuckling]

- Hey, what the...

[all grunting]

- Hee-hee, hee-hee-hee, hee-hee.

- Ugh!

- Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

both: Ohh!

- [whistling]

- [groans]

He may have taken our restaurants,

but we'll take his customers.

[both chuckling]

[bell dings]

[laughter]

- This way.

[horn honks]

Drive-thru. Literally.

both: Waahhh!

- [whistling]

- All right, all right.

I can't go any lower, Eugene.

Please make it stop.

- Ehhh...ugh!

- It looks like there's only one way

out of this one, Sheldon.

- Oh, no. You don't mean...

- Yeah. I'm afraid so.

- [whirring]

- That'll be all for now, Spongematey.

- Oh, could I just have one more handshake, Captain?

- [chuckles] Sure as yer born.

- Ohh.

- So you two scallywags want to work for me, eh?

both: I wanna be the manager.

Arrgh.

- Well, you're both in luck.

It just so happens I'm looking

for two new manager-erers...

- Ahh! - Yeah!

- To manage me toilets.

[chuckling]

Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into.

- [whimpering]

[coughing]

Hair.

[both grumbling]

- The humiliation in here stinks.

- This is all your fault, Plankton.

I'm gonna keel haul yer face at lunchtime.

- Why wait?

Let's take a coffee break. Pow!

- Ohh. - Argh.

- [groaning]

Swirly.

[both grunting]

- Hey, I am trying to read.

Ahh! Hey!

Ahh! Ahh!

- [chuckling] - Ehh-ehh...ehh.

- Hmm?

- Two guys...fighting... toilet paper everywhere

- Oh, yeah?

Who's defiling me rester-ererooms?

[both grunting]

- He did it. - He did it.

- No, he did it. - No, he did it.

- No, he did it. - No, he did it.

- Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

- Get off of him, Plankton.

- It was obviously Krabs' fault.

- Why are you siding with Plankton?

- Why are you siding with Krabs?

- They're arguing.

- And splitting up.

- Stop hitting myself. - Ow.

Stop hitting myself.

I'm sick of you.

- What in Neptune's name is wrong with meself?

Ahh! Oof! Oh!

[grumbling]

- Jeez, is that what we sound like?

- I hope not, 'cause that's pathetic.

both: I can't stop hitting meself,

because I'm torn.

Arrgh!

[whistles blowing]

- All right, you clones, I want a clean fight,

no rough stuff. Go back to your corners

when the bell rings and come out fighting.

- But first, you gotta shake hands.

- Well, fine.

both: Ooh, mmm.

- Wow, this is a great handshake.

both: Ehhhh.

- Splitting? So soon?

[laughter]

- Oh, you.

- [coughing] Hair.

- Here me, bucko.

Let me get that for ya.

- Bleh!

- [chuckling]

Freedom.