Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

[folksy music]

♪

- Laser wrench.

- Mm-hmm.

- Nope.

- Ah. - Uh-uh.

- Mm? - Not even close.

- [laughs] - No. No. No.

- Ohh! [honking]

- Ugh, fine! It'll do.

Hm?

[doorbell chimes]

- I'll get it!

- Surprise!

[children giggling]

Hi-ya, sis!

- Howdy! - Auntie!

- Sandy!

' Oh, I didn't expect y'all till tomorrow.

- I know how much you love your nieces,

y'know, so I brought 'em a day early.

- SpongeBob, this here's my sister Rosy

and my three nieces.

This'n here's Macadamia. - How do?

- Hazelnut. - How do?

- And little Pistachio.

- How d--[belches]

[giggles]

- Girls, this is my friend SpongeBob!

- Aww, what sweet little angels!

- [laughs nervously] Yeah, angels.

Okay, well I gotta skedaddle.

Freedom!

- Doggone it. They're too early!

I'm not finished with their present!

- Don't worry your pretty little head, little lady.

I'll watch the gals until you're done!

- Thanks, SpongeBob, but there's something

I gotta tell you about babysitting my--

- [chuckles] Yeah, I think I know a little something

about babysitting, Sandy.

- [burps]

- [burps]

'Scuse me.

- Y'all mind your Uncle SpongeBob now.

- [grunts]

Story time!

[inhales, blows]

Goldyfish and the Three Sea Bears.

Chapter one, breaking and entering.

- Don't waste your breath...

- And don't make a hassle...

- Some kids like to read...

[together] But we'd rather wrassle!

- Now you girls go easy on me, okay? [giggles]

- One! - [yelps]

[groans]

- Two!

- [straining]

[chuckles] Ow!

- Ugh.

Why don't ya show the girls around town?

- Great idea!

I'll take them to the funnest place in all of Bikini Bottom!

The Krusty Krab!

Mr. Krabs, these are Sandy's little nieces.

- Oh, nieces eh?

And what brings such cute little customers

to Bikini Bottom?

- We're visiting Auntie Sandy...

- And we want to sling hash...

- A chophouse like this must be...

[together] Loaded with cash!

- Aww! Go on!

No, really. Go on.

- This is my coworker-slash- best buddy Squidward.

- Ugh. Children.

- Ugh. Grownups.

- This feller ain't happy.

- Just look at his face.

[together] We're gonna be sick, all over the place!

- [moans]

- [muttering]

Here you go! Three Dolly Patties.

- [giggles]

- [imitates Krabs]

- [humming]

- Can you stop playing dress-up

long enough to make some Krabby Patties?

[blubbering]

- Huh! Guess that's me all over. [laughs]

- [chortles]

You two look ridiculerous!

- [yipping]

- Ha! You're your own worst enemy.

- SpongeBob, from now on

babysit off Krusty Krab Property!

And Mr. Squidward, dress like SpongeBob on yer own time.

- That place really stunk.

- It was lamer than lame.

- Take us somewhere fun.

[together] Or taste Texas pain!

- Aww, what cute little knuckles you have.

Hmm, hmm...

ooh, I've got just the spot.

[funky music]

[inhales] Ahhh,

smell that fresh seawater.

Oh, heh-hey, right. Sorry.

[grunts]

[all yelp]

[contented sighs]

- [yawns] See, Sandy, nothing to worry about.

Baby-sitting is eaaaaasy.

[snoring]

- Hey, Uncle SpongeBob!

- Huh?

- Open your eyes!

- You're just gonna love...

- Hm?

all: Our sandy surprise!

- It's our gift to you!

- Well, isn't that sweet!

- And it won't wash away...

- 'Cause it's made of concrete!

- Concrete, wha--?

Good structural integrity, girls, but a little tight!

- So sorry, Uncle. - We made it too small...

- But we'll get you out...

both: With this wrecking ball!

- Wrecking what?

[groaning]

- [squawks]

- [straining]

Let's all go to my house and take a little break.

[moaning]

[girls humming]

Here we are, girls.

Pineapple, sweet pine--whoa!

- I've been waiting all day to watch your TV!

[eerie music]

- Patrick, you could have watched it while I was out.

- I forgot how to make it work!

Show me!

Show me funny!

I wanna see stories!

Go, go! [sobbing]

Please!

- Boop. There you go.

- I don't know how you remember all this technical stuff.

- Yeah. Patrick, meet Sandy's nieces.

- Good to meet ya!

- Hey kids, know what time it is?

It's nutcrackin' time!

- [giggling] I love this episode!

- Well, well, what do you know?!

[together] Patrick is watching our favorite show!

- Ah, finally, I can relax.

With work!

[humming]

[slurping]

- [straining]

Hmph!

Ah, that's better.

[girls growling]

Aww!

[giggling]

[girls giggling]

[growling]

[girls yelp]

[chortling]

- Let's launch this goof...

[together] Right to the roof!

[chuckles] Lift-off!

- [screams]

[all giggling]

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Who wants brownies?

Heh. I'll go make another batch.

[all giggling]

- [grunts]

- Let's send this nit-wit-- - On his way!

- Before he ruins our whole dern day!

- Yeah!

[laughing evilly]

- All aboard for Glove World!

- Huh-huh-ha!

- Save me a brownie!

- He'll be away...

all: The whole dern day!

[door opens] - Hi! I brought some friends.

- Ooh! I'll have to make more brownies!

- All y'all shoo, you're blocking our view!

- Excuse us. - Sorry.

- Sorry, ma'am.

- We're taking that seat--

- Right where you sit!

- What you gonna do?

all: Let's wrassle for it!

- Ready, set...

wrassle!

[bell dings]

[all straining]

[dramatic music]

♪

- Ooh, brownie!

[together] Huh?

- You saved me one! Thanks!

Guess I get the TV. [chuckles]

- That guy's mean!

- Where's our auntie?!

- We gon' leave!

all: We want Sandy!

[crying]

- Oh Auntie Sandy, what a terrible place!

- Everyone was so mean!

- Right to our face!

- Aw, don't fret, little ladies.

I made a present just for you, you, and you.

- From a rattlesnake's tail...

- To an armadillo's chest...

- Our Auntie Sandy...

[together] Is the gol'durn best!

[giggling]

- Oh, sorry, Sandy.

I guess I'm just not a very good babysitter.

- I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.

- What's that? - Don't babysit my nieces!

[together] Bye, Auntie Sandy!

Bye, Uncle SpongeBob!

- Bye, bye! Have a nice trip back to Texas!

Bless their evil little hearts.

[folksy music]

- Ahhh.

[gasps]

Oh, no.

[grunts]

[together] Hi, Maw! Did ya miss us?

- [sighs]