Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[goofy music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- Attention, shoppers:

We've got a SpongeBob on Aisle 6.

[all screaming, shouting]

[both screaming] - Make a sharp left!

[both babbling]

[both screaming]

[both grunt]

- We're here! - [straining]

I still don't understand why you had me wear

a blindfold. - Oh, um, I didn't want you

to get anything in your eyes.

See?

♪ ♪

[babbling]

- [exclaims, laughs]

[impish music]

- Okay, thanks, buddy.

I'm going to my club meeting now.

- What's your club, hmm? [giggles]

- Uh, it's the Empty Head Society.

Eh, it's a place where guys like me

can give their "powerful intellects"

a much-needed rest. - Whoa!

I'd love to rest my intellect.

Can I join? - Sure!

Anyone can join.

It's exclusive.

- [giggles]

[straining] - Oh, that's not how

you open it.

You have to step on

the automatic doormat.

- Hmm.

- Ding!

♪ ♪

[goofy exclamation]

- Oh!

[all babbling]

[goofy music]

- [goofy laughter]

- Wow.

They do seem blissfully brainless.

[exclaiming] - Oh, oh, hold it!

You have to check your smart thingy

at the door.

♪ ♪

- [clucking]

[babbling]

- Ah!

[straining]

[goofy babbling]

- [humming]

- Ugh.

[both babbling]

- Hello, numbskull. - Hiya, dodo!

- Shall we do the Empty Head handshake?

- Okay!

♪ ♪

[both babbling]

♪ ♪

- [screaming]

- [screams] What was that?

- The signal for the meeting to start.

Come on. [all chattering]

[both babbling]

- [grunts]

[all babbling]

- [hollering]

[both grunt]

[all grunt]

- [grunting]

[triumphant fanfare]

- [grunts]

[microphone feedback]

Good, I see everyone's in their assigned places.

The Secretary will now read the minutes.

- These are the minutes.

One minute, twelve minutes,

wait a minute, give me a minute.

- Hike! [grunts]

Are there any new initiates here tonight?

- [whispering] SpongeBob, go up.

You always wanted to join the club.

- [yelps]

[babbles, laughs]

- Hmm, are you sure you're, uh, brainless enough?

- Hmm. [shouts]

- Perfect!

You've earned your first badge.

- [laughs weakly]

- It's time to pass the jar.

- Hmm?

- [babbling] Mm!

- [gargling]

- [retches]

[crowd groans]

- Hmm? Uh...

all: Drink! Drink! Drink!

- [groans]

[whining]

all: Drink! Drink! Drink!

[gagging]

[belches]

[all groan]

- Ugh! - What?

You said drink! - Ahem.

Lemonade? - Huh?

- We just save and date the drool.

But that was so dopey you earned another badge!

[grunts]

There! - Ah!

- It's now time for us to go out in the community

and help the citizens... - Ow!

- Of Bikini Bottom

by doing our civic duty.

Whatever that means.

- Uh, we're gonna do some civic duty?

- We call it the "Nitwitting."

all: ♪ We're all unfit ♪

♪ We must admit ♪

♪ We're dumb as a box of rocks ♪

♪ But time permitting we'll be nitwitting ♪

♪ Has anyone seen our socks? ♪

- To the mini boats!

both: To the mini boats!

[Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries plays"]

[all babbling]

- Patrick, why are we doing this, again?

- I have no idea.

[horn tooting]

♪ ♪

[all babbling]

[both gasp, scream]

- [shrieks]

[cart neighs]

- [yelps]

[all babbling]

[cheerful tropical music]

- Hey, mister.

You dropped your ball.

- [grunts]

[overlapping shouting]

- [screaming]

♪ ♪

- Keep running.

I'll pace you.

- [babbling]

[screams]

- These lights could use a smile.

[crashing]

[all shouting]

♪ ♪

- [shouting]

- I have a feeling you guys are a little confused

about what civic duty is.

- [babbling]

Uh, I don't think so!

"Civic duty is using your patootie."

[laughs, grunts]

No confusion there! [grunts]

[tires squeal]

[exasperated music]

♪ ♪

Why would people throw their stinky garbage

in these beautiful cans?

- Hmm?

Maybe their pockets were already full.

- [babbling]

"Pockets full"?

I can clearly see you're not as brainless as us.

- Aww... - I can't see anything!

[sighs] Oh well.

I guess I'm just not Empty Head material.

Well, bye, buddy.

- My name's "Buddy" now?

[lighthearted music]

both chanting: Buddy! Buddy!

Buddy!

- [grunts]

Well, that's funny.

I seem to be lost.

Oh, I'll figure it out.

I still got some life in the ol' brain stem.

[electrical zapping]

♪ ♪

[babbling]

What's a brain stem?

I know!

I'll just walk backwards, and that should get me back

to the beginning of the day.

[speaking backwards]

[grunts]

I'm even more lost-er than I was before-er.

[gasps]

Oh, I will direct asking--

[grunts] Ask directions.

[seal barks]

♪ ♪

Excuse me, large lady.

I'm a widdle girl who's misplaced herself.

Can you help find me?

[lisping] I'm pretty.

- Weirdo! - Ow!

- [screaming]

- Well, that didn't come out right.

[whines]

[whines]

[downtrodden music]

[groaning]

♪ ♪

[babbling]

Oh, I've forgotten how to sit.

- [chuckles] Obviously not

the sharpest tool in the--

the tool thing.

[chuckling]

- [growls]

[sighs]

[gasps]

Ooh. - Oh, there you are!

You forgot your thinking thingy.

I wasn't sure which one was yours, buddy.

- Uh, now my name's "Buddy"? - No, duh.

That's my name! - [groans]

- I think.

- [grunts] No, not mine.

Wrong brain.

[babbles] Oh, bad brain.

Oh, I guess I'll take this stupid one.

[babbles]

- Hmm.

Hmm...

[growling] - [babbling]

- Try saying "I'm ready."

- Slime heady!

Uh, dime Betty!

- [growling] - [babbling]

[grunts] Spaghetti!

I'm sweaty!

I'm all wetty!

♪ ♪

[both babbling]

- I'm ready.

[gasps] I'm ready!

I'm ready!

High-five! - Yeah!

- [babbles, laughs]

Patrick, I know you and the Empty Head Society

mean well, but man, we sure messed up a lot

of things in town today.

So I'm gonna reverse all the damage that we did

during the Nitwitting!

- Hey, you'd better hurry

because you're getting smaller!

What a guy.

Hmm?

[babbling]

Nothing like a good sit in a chair.

Ah.

- [humming]

Oh, that's weird.

[impish music]

Everything's already back to normal.

What?

Hmm.

[babbling]

Oh.

Hmm. Well, it's still a mess

over here.

♪ ♪

[gasps] Sandy?

You cleaned everything up? - Of course, SpongeBob.

I belong to a club called FEHMA.

That stands for "Fix the Empty Head's Mess Again."

Our civic duty is repairing the mayhem

that the Empty Heads cause every month.

You got some gunk on your tie. - Yeah, they're badges.

[munching] - Hey, SpongeBob.

How would you like to join FEHMA?

- No thanks.

After giving my brain a vacation, I need a rest.

both: Huh? - Uh-oh!

Speaking of "brain vacation."

[yelps]

[all babbling]

[horn tooting]

all: ♪ We must admit ♪

♪ We're dumb as a box of rocks ♪

♪ But time permitting ♪

♪ We'll be nitwitting ♪

- ♪ Has anyone seen my socks? ♪ [grunts]

♪ ♪