Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

- all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[light music]

♪ ♪

[bubbles popping]

News flash! A severe rip current

may soon touch down in Bikini Bottom.

Residents are warned to bar all windows

and stay indoors.

[hammering]

[cow moos]

Save yourselves!

Ahh, rip current, schmip current.

'Tain't nothing.

Gee, Mr. Krabs, do you think the rip current

will hit the Krusty Krab?

Ahh! [imitates explosion, splashing]

[screaming, explosion noises]

Uh, shouldn't we clear the docks?

Or batten down the patches?

Or whatever people say?

Calm your waters!

Me sailor's knee says we're not in danger, see?

[whistling, ticking]

Now, get back to work!

Excuse me, are we in any kind of peril?

I think we should all go home.

As soon as you buy some Patties to go, you can go.

I'll have three Krabby Patties.

[rumbling]

On second thought, cancel that order!

No takey-backsees! Three Krabby Patties.

[buzzing] [gasps]

Me money detector!

Where do you think you're going?

Get back in there and spend the rest

- of your money! - But I needed it for rent.

Listen up, everybody! New store policy:

all money brought into this store

must be spent here.

Tyrant!

Oh! Tyrant am I?

All right, I'm a tyrant!

The worst in all the seven seas.

What of it? [growls]

Gee, why's Mr. Krabs so crabby today?

Probably because it's payday.

Payday's been canceled! [feedback squeals]

Now hear this! I'm the captain of this ship!

Captain Krabs!

And I say no rip current

will ever harm the Krusty Krab!

[dramatic music]

[crashing] [chains rattle]

[screaming]

[all screaming] [crashing]

[yelling]

[grunting]

[wood creaks]

[thud]

[crashing]

[pained groan]

[duck quacks]

Darn arthritis.

[creaking]

[chains rattle]

[yelling] [grunting]

[all screaming, whimpering]

[growls] Hm.

[thrilling music] [key jangles]

Yah.

♪ ♪

Yah! Wah!

♪ ♪

[straining effort]

- [popping] - Ah!

Squidward, while I steer,

you tell everyone we're safe.

It's all right now, everybody.

Everything's under control now and whatever.

[all whimpering]

Three cheers for Squidward!

The guy who saved our lives.

Let's make him our new captain.

Hip, hip...

all: Hooray for Captain Squidward!

Congratulations, Squidward.

Oh, I mean Captain Squidward.

What's the meaning of this?

What should we do with this tyrant, Captain Squidward?

Captain Squidward?

Let's flog him!

all: Yeah!

Let's tie him to the mast!

all: Yeah!

Let's put the past behind us

and start all over!

all: No!

This is mutiny! Listen here, Squidward.

Fun is fun, but get me out of here!

Sorry, I don't think that's a captain's job.

- You're on your own. - Hey, everybody,

can we take a time-out?

This is Mr. Krabs we're talking about.

The worst tyrant in the seven seas.

You're not helping, boy.

You remember Mr. Krabs.

He's the man who brought you

the Krabby Patty! [bell dings]

[all agreeing]

And he's the man who brought you the double Krabby Patty.

And the Krabby Patty with Cheese.

- [yells] - And the Bratty Patty

- for kids. - Um, little help here.

He also created the Chatty Patty for teens.

And who can forget the Hatty Patty,

the patty you wear as a hat?

I wear it because I'm bald.

Well, I guess any man who invented

the Hatty Patty can't be all bad.

Okay, let's get him out.

Whoa!

Man overboard!

[yells]

No!

Mr. Krabs!

Well, I guess that solves that problem.

["Taps" playing]

[bites, chews, swallows]

I know you'll come back to us, Mr. Krabs!

Until then... [slurps]

I'll leave a dollar in the window for you.

Hey! It's Captain Squidward's fault that we lost the man

who invented the Hatty Patty.

Yeah, we're fickle, and we say

you're the tyrant now! all: Yeah!

Uhh, don't be hasty.

Remember, I'm-- I'm still the captain.

The Hatty Patty was my idea!

But we're still stuck in this rip current!

We'll never get out!

Oh... [stammers]

Ooh! [flapping sound, struggles]

Oh, barnacles! It--ow--oh, oh!

[metal clanging]

[all yelling]

[grunting, crashing]

[straining]

[screams] [popping]

[all yelling]

[crashing]

Uh, We're alive!

Captain Squidward steered us

out of the rip current!

How 'bout a cheer for Captain Squidward?

[all cheer]

Thank you, thank you. Just doing my job as captain,

protecting my crew.

Whoa, where are we? [all exclaim]

Oh, look at that. That's amazing.

This neighborhood's crazy.

I wonder if there are any good places to eat.

You think maybe they've got

a Krusty Krab around here?

Hey, good idea. I could go

- for a Krabby Patty. - I'm calling

the local Krusty Krab right now.

[dial tone, dialing]

- [phone rings] - Hello, Krusty Krab.

Yes, I'd like to place an order.

Oh! [slamming]

[phone rings]

[roaring, crashing] [all scream]

Monster! Monster!

[roars]

- Captain! - You gotta save us.

[squishing] [groans]

Ahh! Captain Squidward!

Um, I know where he is.

[panting]

[straining] Ooh!

- [thud, grunts] - Uh, Captain,

sorry to interrupt, but the crew needs you

- to protect them. - Are you crazy?

I can't fight a monster!

Oh, I'm afraid the crew insists, sir.

[all growling]

[gulps]

I don't wanna be captain!

I don't wanna be captain!

[all yelling]

all: [straining effort] Yah!

- [screams] - [munches]

Well, that was anticlimactic.

Maybe he'll make the monster sick.

Okay, who had their money on Captain Squidward?

Pay up.

Well, somebody has to step up, fight that monster,

and become captain.

And that somebody is me!

[straining]

[popping] [breathing heavily]

[breathes, sniffs]

[gags]

[gulps, gargles]

[swallows, coughs]

Hi-ya!

Huh.

Hi.

Huh? Boink.

Oh, what was I doing now?

[screaming] [all gasping]

[crashing, grunting]

- Hm. - Mr. Krabs!

You're alive!

Oh, welcome back, Captain!

Haven't you forgotten something?

I am not captain anymore.

Squidward is.

Uh-uh. The monster ate him.

We need a captain, and that's you!

Isn't that right?

[all agreeing]

Why would I want to be captain

to such a sorry bunch of lubbers?

I'm through. [roaring, glass shatters]

And that's coming out of your pay!

Mr. Krabs, this job calls for

a dictator like you!

Hm. [roaring, glass shatters]

Do something, Mr. Krabs!

Beg me. [all begging]

We're begging. Please!

[growling, slurping]

Not buying it. [all begging]

[shimmering tone]

Got it!

Do you know what this is, Mr. Krabs?

- I don't care. - It's the first dime

you ever earned, and I'm going to tear it up

if you don't go back to being

the meanie we need.

I said I don't care.

Okay, here goes.

[straining effort]

Ah. Ahh, wah!

[metal clangs, shatters]

Ah.

[saw buzzes]

My leg!

Ha, you lose.

Hm. Oh!

Well then, I'm gonna do the worst thing

I can do to your old dime.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Spend it.

- [metal clangs] - Huh?

Hmm.

Oh, no you don't! Come here!

Gah! [thud]

All right, everybody! What am I?

all: Um... [glass shatters]

Come on. It starts with a T.

A tree?

A teddy bear?

A tuba?

You're a tyrant?

I can't hear you.

all: A tyrant! [cheering]

Correct! All right, I'll save ya.

But you've got to promise to spend most of your--

all of your money right here, got it?

[all agreeing]

[roars] [screaming]

Hold onto me dime, boy-o.

[growls]

[screams]

[growls]

[screaming stops]

Well, that was anticlimactic.

Again.

- [grumbling] - Ho!

Ah, ah, ugh, ah! [punching]

[vomits]

[shivering, whimpering]

Ahh! [cries]

Oh, ah... [punching, straining]

Oh!

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

[punching]

Beg to me.

[all exclaiming]

Whoa!

Oh!

- [growls] - Oh!

Ouch! Oh!

Wait a minute! Gimme that!

[bashes]

[smashing] [yells, growls]

[crashing, squealing]

[all cheer]

[bubbles popping]

Here ya go, Mr. Krabs. You earned it.

Well, boy-o, you believed in me,

so today will be a payday for you.

What about me?

You, Ex-Captain Squidward,

have gone from pay day to Mayday!

Mush! Every last one of ya!

All the way back to Bikini Bottom!

[laughs]

[Hawaiian music]

♪ ♪

[bubbles popping]

[carnival music]

[indistinct chatter]

[both munching]

Mm, mm, mm.

Gah, gah, gah.

Mmm! Isn't this saltwater taffy

just taffilicious?

And stickerific!

[both munching]

[guitar tones]

[laughs]

Blah.

[barking]

[chewing efforts]

Eh, eh. [hums]

[chewing efforts]

Blah!

Ah! [bell dings]

[swallows, chews]

[straining, yells] [alarm blares]

What's the matter, Patrick?

I have a headache inside of my tooth.

Maybe you should do something about that.

Okay, I will.

[snapping, yelping]

How does that help?

Well, now that my all-over hurts,

I'm not thinking about my mouth.

[throbbing] Ow!

I guess it didn't work. [yells]

- [snapping] - Oh! Oh!

- Huh? - [whimpering]

Whoa! That's it!

I'm taking you to the dentist, Patrick.

No way! I've heard horror stories.

Oh, don't worry, Patrick.

Dentists are our friends.

Huh? Patrick?

Patrick?

Oh.

[cash register dings]

Yah! [crashing]

- [giggles] - And we have a winner.

[excitedly panting]

- Thank you. - Aw, darn it.

[bubbles popping] [breathing]

Oh, boy! Aren't dentists' offices fun?

[gasps] Oh, they've got colorful, wooden beads on wires!

Mm! Ah. Whoa! Look at it go!

Slow down, SpongeBob!

This place is scary enough without you

going crazy with the beads!

[dramatic music] [whimpering]

[maniacal laughter]

[whimpers]

[boing] Oh!

[panting] Ahh!

[giggles]

And that was The Incidentals, with a startling number

called "Dramatic Music Stings."

Comin' up, here's The Spookers

with a haunting little tune called "Ominous."

Patrick Star?

We're ready for you now.

[ominous music]

[whines]

- Aw, come on, Patrick! - No!

The doctor will fix you right up.

Sit here, please.

Dr. Mundane will be right with you.

Ahh! [teeth chattering]

♪ ♪

Agnes, please turn down that radio.

[music stops]

I'm Dr. Beige Mundane.

You must be Patrick Star.

What seems to be the problem?

No problem. I was just leaving.

[grunts] No, Patrick! Sit!

- [water spraying] - [blubbering]

Good boy.

Ow!

[laughs]

Let's take a look in your mouth.

Open wide, please.

[ship horn blares]

Mm-hmm. I see the problem.

- [struggling] - Your friend here

still has a baby tooth.

- Ooh, I wanna see! - [gulps]

[gagging] [bats chirping]

- [snoring] - Aw!

- Coochie coo! - [crying]

[grunts]

[laughs]

I still have a baby tooth?

Yes, and the pain is coming from

your adult tooth trying to push your baby tooth out of the way.

[straining]

[gasps] That's not right!

It's the natural way of things.

If you want the pain to go away,

then I need to extract the tooth.

You leave my baby tooth alone, you monster!

- Zoom! - Patrick, come back!

Oh!

Oh, oh, eh, eh.

Nobody is going to tell me

what to do with my baby tooth.

This tooth is stayin' in my mouth!

Okay, Patrick, but that means

your tooth won't be going to Tooth Island.

- Tooth Island? - Yeah, Tooth Island!

It's where the Tooth Fairy takes all the baby teeth

that are left under pillows.

Tooth island is a wonderful place,

where teeth can be free.

They can soak in the Calcium Pools all day

or sleep in the comfort of the Pink Gum Trees.

They get to swing on Floss Vines

and never, ever have to worry about cavities.

[all beckoning]

Of course, I guess your baby tooth

could be happy in your mouth,

all alone, by itself.

[wailing]

I don't care, SpongeBob.

I know what's best for my tooth.

I can make it happy.

[bubbles popping]

[crying]

[moaning]

- Ahh. - [crying]

♪ Rock-a-bye, baby ♪

♪ On the treetop ♪

[crying continues]

- [keys jingling] - Ah.

[humming]

[laughs]

[laughs] Oops.

- [boink] - [cries]

[bubbles popping]

[bites, chews]

Oh!

Ohh!

[horn blares] [screams]

[pained grunt] Ow!

Hmm. My friendship sense is tingling.

Patrick must be in trouble!

Oh. Ooh!

- What's the matter, pal? - Nothing! Just, uh,

practicing being a seal. [laughs]

[imitates seal barking]

Hm!

[barking] Ow!

Patrick, Dr. Mundane always says,

"If you can't bite, things ain't right."

Okay, SpongeBob. I guess I have to

get my tooth to the Tooth Fairy.

Ha, you rube. There is no such thing

- as the Tooth Fairy. - Ah!

- Squidward! - It's all a bunch of

made up baloney.

It is not baloney!

- It is baloney! - Who's got baloney?

[sighs] There is no baloney!

Just like there is no Tooth Fairy.

In fact, if you could prove there were

a Tooth Fairy, I would eat, oh,

a bucket of chum!

both: Ew!

Squidward, why would you want to do that?

I said I would only if there was

a Tooth Fairy, and since there isn't a Tooth Fairy,

I will never have to eat a bucket of chum.

Patrick, I've been your friend

for a long time.

I would never lie to you.

You need Dr. Mundane's help so you can

get your tooth to the Tooth Fairy.

That's okay, SpongeBob. I think I can manage.

Hmm, yah!

[humming]

[blender whirrs]

[snorts]

Ahh.

- [splat] - [cries]

Ahh! [alarm bell ringing]

- [grunts] - You see, Patrick,

we have got to get that tooth out.

You'll have to catch me first!

- Oh! - Patrick, wait!

Ha ha, Tooth Fairy.

What a couple of molar morons.

[crashing] Ow!

[panting, screaming]

[both growling, howling] [instrumental country music]

[gasps] The worms. Oh, oh, no!

[both barking, growling]

[panting]

Oh!

[both growling] [fence rattles]

[panting]

[both growling]

[blows] [splashing]

[slurping]

[both barking]

[spits]

[screams] [thud]

[groans]

Not wanted.

That fixes it.

- [both barking] - [whimpers]

[both growling]

Oh.

[whimpering]

[jaws snapping]

Ahh.

[both barking]

Mipsey, Pipsey, you bad girls!

You get back on this leash.

[both whining]

Well, you may have called off your worms,

- but I'm not coming down. - Patrick, they weren't mine.

- A likely story. - [sighs]

Patrick, can I show you something?

[grunting]

- What's that? - It's a scrapbook

of all my baby teeth.

Heh, that was a good one.

I remember every tooth.

Even though they're no longer in my mouth,

I still keep the memory of them in my heart.

[laughs] I thought you kept them in the scrapbook.

Patrick, don't you think your baby tooth

wants to see all his old friends on Tooth Island?

Don't listen to him!

I still have all my baby teeth, and look at me!

Ahh! [maniacal laughter]

[both exclaim]

Okay, SpongeBob, we can go.

[bubbles popping]

[mechanical whirring, squeaking]

I'm ready, Doc. Do what you have to do.

Ahh. [yanking]

I'm done.

- That's it? - That's it.

Aw.

Aw, you're going under my pillow

so you can go to Tooth Island, my sweet boy.

[bubbles popping]

[snoring]

[grunts, gasps]

- SpongeBob? - Ha! I was right!

The Tooth Fairy isn't real.

Oh, SpongeBob.

Patrick, you don't understand!

I'm just helping to get your tooth

- to the Tooth Fairy. - Oh, that's a good one.

- It's true! - How can I believe you?

Oh, the lies! The chicanery! [sobs]

[laughs]

Look at how betrayed Patrick feels!

Oh, this was totally worth staying up all night.

You don't believe there's a Tooth Fairy?

Well, follow me and I'll show ya.

Behold, "The Tooth Ferry!"

[ship horn blares]

This is where parents and friends

take teeth so they can be ferried to Tooth Island.

There really is a Tooth Ferry!

Of course.

Hm--wha!

All aboard!

[all cheering]

Uh, uh, oh.

Uh-huh, hello!

[restrained crying]

[horn blares] [all cheering]

[blows nose]

Oh, here. This is yours.

Could you wait till I'm asleep

and put it under my pillow?

Mm, sure Patrick. Anything for a pal.

- [cash register dings] - Hey! Where do you think

you're going, chum chewer?

[groans] Ah! Hey, come on!

This is just a big misunderstanding!

Ferry, fairy: They're two different words

that just happen to sound alike!

- Open wide, Squidward! - No.

[teeth screaming]

[panicked yelling] [horn blares]