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1
00:00:03,414 --> 00:00:04,623
Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:04,706 --> 00:00:06,414
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:06,498 --> 00:00:07,914
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:07,998 --> 00:00:10,081
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:12,914
♪ Ohh... ♪
6
00:00:12,998 --> 00:00:14,998
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,998
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
8
00:00:17,081 --> 00:00:18,914
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:18,998 --> 00:00:20,539
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
10
00:00:20,623 --> 00:00:23,039
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,873
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
12
00:00:24,956 --> 00:00:26,956
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:27,039 --> 00:00:29,039
- all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
14
00:00:29,123 --> 00:00:30,914
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:33,248
SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:33,331 --> 00:00:35,164
SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:35,248 --> 00:00:36,498
SpongeBob
18
00:00:36,581 --> 00:00:38,373
SquarePants!
19
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:41,123
[laughing]
20
00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:43,414
♪ ♪
21
00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:44,998
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,373
[upbeat ukulele music]
23
00:00:49,456 --> 00:00:55,373
♪ ♪
24
00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:59,831
Did you get stuck
in the pet door again?
25
00:00:59,914 --> 00:01:01,831
I ain't gonna lie to you, Meredith.
26
00:01:01,914 --> 00:01:04,123
I am not a happy camper!
27
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:05,623
[laughs]
28
00:01:05,706 --> 00:01:07,414
We'll be right back with
"The Giant Isopod
29
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:11,331
Stuck in the Pet Door" show
after these messages.
30
00:01:11,414 --> 00:01:13,373
Homes! Homes!
Homes! Homes! Homes!
31
00:01:13,456 --> 00:01:16,581
I'm Nick Fishkins and
I want to buy your home!
32
00:01:16,664 --> 00:01:17,706
- What?
- You heard me.
33
00:01:17,789 --> 00:01:19,539
I want to buy your home.
34
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:22,914
- But my home's not for sale.
- It doesn't matter to me.
35
00:01:22,998 --> 00:01:25,831
Any condition, any size.
I'll buy your home.
36
00:01:25,914 --> 00:01:28,123
- Sold!
- Sold?
37
00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:30,206
Where am I gonna live now?
38
00:01:31,748 --> 00:01:33,998
[blowing]
39
00:01:34,081 --> 00:01:35,456
What's happening, Patrick?
40
00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:38,498
- You going on a hike?
- It's a forever hike.
41
00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:39,831
A forever hike?
42
00:01:39,914 --> 00:01:42,998
Yeah.
All because of Nick Fishkins.
43
00:01:43,081 --> 00:01:44,331
Who's Nick Fishkins?
44
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:46,998
He shows up on television
and buys your home
45
00:01:47,081 --> 00:01:49,748
and there's nothing
you can do about it.
46
00:01:49,831 --> 00:01:53,998
Now I am doomed to walk
the seas without a home.
47
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,998
Aw, don't worry, Patrick.
You can move in with me.
48
00:01:57,081 --> 00:02:00,123
- We'll be roommates.
- Wow!
49
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,581
[both eating noisily]
50
00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:07,539
I'm Nick Fishkins and
I want to buy your home!
51
00:02:07,623 --> 00:02:09,623
Sold!
[both screaming]
52
00:02:09,706 --> 00:02:10,831
- Pfffft!
- Pfffft!
53
00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:16,873
Well, we might as well
spend the night here.
54
00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:18,206
It's not so bad.
55
00:02:18,289 --> 00:02:20,206
We could make a home
out of all this trash.
56
00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:23,789
Don't forget to make a garage
for our new boat.
57
00:02:23,873 --> 00:02:26,539
[laughs]
58
00:02:26,623 --> 00:02:28,248
[rooster crows]
59
00:02:28,331 --> 00:02:33,289
[yawns]
60
00:02:33,373 --> 00:02:34,998
Hmm?
61
00:02:35,081 --> 00:02:36,789
Huh, how strange.
62
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:39,956
Usually I wake up each morning
with a dark feeling of dread
63
00:02:40,039 --> 00:02:41,373
gnawing at my stomach,
64
00:02:41,456 --> 00:02:45,831
but today I feel
positively... happy.
65
00:02:45,914 --> 00:02:47,373
♪ ♪
66
00:02:47,456 --> 00:02:50,373
♪ Smilin' rainbows,
smilin' sun ♪
67
00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:53,164
♪ Smilin' rocks and
vegetation ♪
68
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:56,164
{\an8}♪ Look Ma, I'm dancing,
and hear my song ♪
69
00:02:56,248 --> 00:02:59,123
{\an8}♪ The world is lovely
when nothing is wrong ♪
70
00:02:59,206 --> 00:03:01,998
♪ Everything's smiling,
yes, even me! ♪
71
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:06,914
♪ Is this what they call
feeling happy? ♪
72
00:03:06,998 --> 00:03:08,414
Ooh! Eh?
73
00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:10,498
- Still doesn't hurt.
- Morning, Squidward.
74
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:13,539
Good morning, SpongeBob.
75
00:03:13,623 --> 00:03:17,706
Ack! Oh... that's why I felt
great this morning.
76
00:03:17,789 --> 00:03:20,289
There was no SpongeBob.
77
00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,581
Hi, Squidward!
78
00:03:21,664 --> 00:03:23,164
[mellow banjo music]
79
00:03:23,248 --> 00:03:26,789
Oh, what did you numbskulls
do with the trash?
80
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,498
Built a house.
81
00:03:28,581 --> 00:03:29,873
What the--
Why?
82
00:03:29,956 --> 00:03:32,039
'Cause Nick Fishkins
bought my home
83
00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:34,123
and then he bought
SpongeBob's home.
84
00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:35,914
So now we live here.
85
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,623
Oh, why didn't you
just use the money
86
00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:39,123
that Nick Fishkins
gave you
87
00:03:39,206 --> 00:03:41,664
to rent a room
or buy a new home?
88
00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:43,914
Well, he hasn't paid us yet.
89
00:03:43,998 --> 00:03:47,373
Yeah, he said it right on the
TV: "I want to buy your home."
90
00:03:47,456 --> 00:03:48,831
But we haven't seen any money.
91
00:03:48,914 --> 00:03:51,123
Oh.
Let me get this straight.
92
00:03:51,206 --> 00:03:53,039
You saw a TV commercial
of Nick Fishkins
93
00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:54,956
saying he would buy your home
94
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:58,456
and without meeting him
or signing anything
95
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,164
you believe your homes
have been sold?
96
00:04:01,248 --> 00:04:03,789
Now doesn't that seem
weird, even to you?
97
00:04:03,873 --> 00:04:06,039
Really weird.
98
00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:07,456
Oh, listen, you dumb--
99
00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:11,748
[harp chords]
100
00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:13,414
Ahh...
101
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,498
Hmm.
102
00:04:17,581 --> 00:04:21,748
Uh, you know, looks like
you guys got Fishkined,
103
00:04:21,831 --> 00:04:24,539
and, well, there's nothing
you can do about that.
104
00:04:24,623 --> 00:04:25,623
[chuckles]
105
00:04:27,706 --> 00:04:30,373
[crows like a rooster]
106
00:04:30,456 --> 00:04:32,206
[yawning]
107
00:04:33,831 --> 00:04:37,498
[humming]
108
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,289
[slurps]
Ahh!
109
00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:43,248
[humming]
110
00:04:45,289 --> 00:04:47,706
- [sniffs]
- Ready for work, Mr. Krabs.
111
00:04:47,789 --> 00:04:51,206
Wait a minute!
What's the matter with you, boy?
112
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:53,706
You look like you
slept in a pile of trash.
113
00:04:53,789 --> 00:04:55,331
A pile of trash house.
114
00:04:55,414 --> 00:04:58,123
Patrick and I built one out
back with all your garbage.
115
00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:01,498
With my garbage?
On my land?
116
00:05:01,581 --> 00:05:04,623
I'll be charging you
a reasonable rental fee.
117
00:05:04,706 --> 00:05:06,164
- How much?
- Hmm.
118
00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:07,748
Your paycheck
ought to cover it.
119
00:05:07,831 --> 00:05:11,206
Gee, I didn't know being
homeless was so expensive.
120
00:05:11,289 --> 00:05:13,706
[nautical music]
121
00:05:13,789 --> 00:05:16,373
Ah, work is done.
122
00:05:16,456 --> 00:05:19,873
Now I can go home
to a SpongeBob-free zone
123
00:05:19,998 --> 00:05:23,414
and rearrange
my doily collection.
124
00:05:23,498 --> 00:05:25,123
I miss the old neighborhood.
125
00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:27,414
I think I'm gonna visit
my old house tonight.
126
00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:29,956
Ah, no! No, you don't
want to do that.
127
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:30,998
- Why?
- Well,
128
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,581
a family has moved in there
129
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:36,331
with a lot of kids and they
don't like to be disturbed.
130
00:05:36,414 --> 00:05:39,581
- How many is a lot?
- Oh, like, pffft...12 kids.
131
00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,248
But if I just ask politely to
visit, do you think they'd--
132
00:05:42,331 --> 00:05:43,831
And they don't speak English.
133
00:05:43,914 --> 00:05:47,748
The Fishtrapps only speak... German.
134
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:50,456
[whimpers]
135
00:05:50,539 --> 00:05:54,123
Maybe I could move in with
whoever's in my house.
136
00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:56,456
No, no, no!
A band lives there now.
137
00:05:56,539 --> 00:05:59,289
- A rock band?
- Um... yes?
138
00:05:59,373 --> 00:06:01,081
'Cause my house is a rock?
139
00:06:01,164 --> 00:06:04,123
Yes, a big rock band
with like eight people
140
00:06:04,206 --> 00:06:05,539
and all sorts of
musical equipment
141
00:06:05,623 --> 00:06:08,289
so there's only room
for musicians, ha.
142
00:06:08,373 --> 00:06:10,039
Hey, I could learn German.
143
00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:13,664
And I could learn
what "learn" is.
144
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,414
[dreamy music]
145
00:06:15,498 --> 00:06:17,623
Mmm, nice.
146
00:06:17,706 --> 00:06:20,206
{\an8}Ah! It's like
a beautiful dream.
147
00:06:20,289 --> 00:06:24,248
{\an8}So peaceful.
No more aggravation.
148
00:06:24,331 --> 00:06:26,748
{\an8}[hollow knocking]
Gah!
149
00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:31,206
What is that porous terror
up to now?
150
00:06:31,289 --> 00:06:34,206
Oh no! He's expecting a
big family that speaks German!
151
00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:37,414
[panicked babbling]
152
00:06:39,956 --> 00:06:43,289
Uh, German... hello?
153
00:06:43,373 --> 00:06:47,206
Ach! Guten morgen.
Mein name ist SpongeBob.
154
00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:48,914
- Say what?
- Guten morgen.
155
00:06:48,998 --> 00:06:50,539
Mein name ist SpongeBob.
156
00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:54,789
Ich bin gekommen, um
meine alte Heimat besuchen.
157
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,914
[German accent] Please would
you speaken-zee English?
158
00:06:57,998 --> 00:07:00,164
I need za practice.
159
00:07:00,248 --> 00:07:02,164
Oh, ja!
I mean, sure!
160
00:07:02,248 --> 00:07:04,164
Good morning.
My name is SpongeBob.
161
00:07:04,248 --> 00:07:07,539
- What is your name?
- Um... Gerhard.
162
00:07:07,623 --> 00:07:10,289
Well, hello. Gerhard.
I used to live here.
163
00:07:10,373 --> 00:07:12,456
Just stopped by
to visit my old home.
164
00:07:12,539 --> 00:07:14,664
Ach, meine Neptune.
Uh, now is nein
165
00:07:14,748 --> 00:07:17,789
such a good time mit
the wife and such.
166
00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:20,956
- Wife? Where is she?
- Uhh... Hey, SpongeBob.
167
00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:22,664
Gack!
She's... shy.
168
00:07:22,748 --> 00:07:23,831
Well, I must be going.
169
00:07:23,914 --> 00:07:25,581
Mine wifen calling me
for zupper.
170
00:07:25,664 --> 00:07:28,581
She is a fine
Gutenchef of Fudenschlop.
171
00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:31,748
Would you mind if
I stayed for zupper?
172
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:33,498
- Whatcha having?
- Um...
173
00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:37,498
Kerglooginpfiefer mit
schlusinberry klabber sauz.
174
00:07:37,581 --> 00:07:40,373
Kerglooginpfiefer?
That's my favorite!
175
00:07:40,456 --> 00:07:41,539
What's your wife's name?
176
00:07:41,623 --> 00:07:44,123
I don't know!
Hedvig!
177
00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:45,206
Whoo!
178
00:07:45,289 --> 00:07:47,456
Dunt moven!
Not a schtepp!
179
00:07:48,456 --> 00:07:51,206
Nein! Nein!
No moven sie! Sitz!
180
00:07:51,289 --> 00:07:52,998
[panting]
181
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,039
[clattering]
182
00:07:55,123 --> 00:07:56,748
[panting]
183
00:07:58,331 --> 00:08:01,414
Hey, man, like,
what's happening?
184
00:08:01,498 --> 00:08:05,414
I missed my house and I was
hoping I could move back in.
185
00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:09,123
Oh, sorry, dude, no room.
This place is, like,
186
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:12,664
filled with band members
and musical instruments.
187
00:08:12,748 --> 00:08:16,623
- What do you play?
- Oh... the electric clarinet.
188
00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:19,831
- There's no such thing!
- Sure, there is.
189
00:08:19,914 --> 00:08:21,081
Prove it.
190
00:08:21,164 --> 00:08:23,164
I'll be right back.
191
00:08:23,248 --> 00:08:24,373
[panting]
192
00:08:24,456 --> 00:08:25,581
[door slams]
[click]
193
00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:33,789
Oh, Gerhard?
Are you coming back?
194
00:08:33,873 --> 00:08:34,831
Gah!
195
00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:38,831
Hello!
You must be Hedvig.
196
00:08:38,914 --> 00:08:40,956
Hedvig?
Oh! Oh, ja.
197
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:43,498
That's me, Hedvig.
198
00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:45,081
I have heard
so much about
199
00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:47,456
your Kerglooginpfiefer mit
schlusinberry klabber sauz.
200
00:08:47,539 --> 00:08:49,206
Can't wait to try it.
201
00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:50,498
One--
[clears throat]
202
00:08:50,581 --> 00:08:52,539
[high voice]
One second!
203
00:08:55,414 --> 00:08:57,206
- Ah!
- Tonight's zupper is to go.
204
00:08:57,289 --> 00:08:58,706
So, please to go.
205
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,206
Well, aren't your
12 little German children
206
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,789
gonna sing for me
while I eat?
207
00:09:01,873 --> 00:09:03,123
I don't have children!
208
00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:06,664
I mean, I mean, ja, ja.
Outzide, please.
209
00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:10,664
{\an8}I love
outdoor concerts.
210
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:16,248
- [playing electric clarinet]
- Ahh!
211
00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:18,664
Uh, groovy enough
for you, man?
212
00:09:18,748 --> 00:09:21,248
That was great!
You should give lessons
213
00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:23,581
to my ex-neighbor, Squidward.
214
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:24,706
He stinks!
215
00:09:24,789 --> 00:09:25,706
[growls]
216
00:09:27,123 --> 00:09:28,873
[panting]
217
00:09:31,581 --> 00:09:32,831
What's going on?
218
00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:35,956
Shh! The Fishtrapp
children are gonna sing!
219
00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:37,748
♪ We are der
little kiddiewinks ♪
220
00:09:37,831 --> 00:09:39,831
♪ Der kiddiewinks
der kiddiewinks ♪
221
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,456
♪ We are der
little kiddiewinks ♪
222
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,164
♪ We love to sing all day ♪
223
00:09:44,248 --> 00:09:45,956
[chomp]
I think the littlest kiddiewink
224
00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:47,123
is off-key.
225
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:48,623
They need a band.
226
00:09:48,706 --> 00:09:51,456
I'll go talk to the guys
that live at my old place
227
00:09:51,539 --> 00:09:53,748
and see if they can
come over to play along.
228
00:09:53,831 --> 00:09:54,831
Yeah!
229
00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:56,539
[growls]
230
00:09:56,623 --> 00:09:58,248
That's it!
I'm done.
231
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,748
Squidward? What are you doing
in the Fishtrapps' house?
232
00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,206
You idiots.
233
00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:04,914
It's not
the Fishtrapps' house!
234
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:06,164
It's your house!
235
00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:07,873
And that is still
Patrick's house!
236
00:10:07,956 --> 00:10:10,789
You just saw a commercial!
That's all!
237
00:10:10,873 --> 00:10:15,498
So... is Nick Fishkins gonna
live in my house?
238
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:19,248
Grr! He doesn't live
in the houses he buys.
239
00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:21,373
Well, if he doesn't live in
them, what does he do with them?
240
00:10:21,456 --> 00:10:23,248
He flips the houses,
you dimwits!
241
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,206
He buys houses,
then resells them for a profit.
242
00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:28,498
He flips houses
for a living!
243
00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:30,956
He flips houses for a living?
244
00:10:31,039 --> 00:10:33,539
Yes! And I'm calling
Nick Fishkins right now
245
00:10:33,623 --> 00:10:37,081
to come over and flip
my house so I can move away!
246
00:10:37,164 --> 00:10:38,373
[angry grumbling]
247
00:10:38,456 --> 00:10:39,748
Poor Squidward.
248
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,914
We should do something
really nice for him.
249
00:10:41,998 --> 00:10:44,623
Ooh!
I know.
250
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,123
All right, Patrick,
on the count of three.
251
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:50,956
One, two, three!
252
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:53,873
Aah! Aah!
253
00:10:53,998 --> 00:10:56,748
[screams]
254
00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:58,956
Say, is this home
of Squidward Tentacles?
255
00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:01,164
- The one that was for sale?
- Sure is.
256
00:11:01,248 --> 00:11:03,331
Yech.
This place is a wreck.
257
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,248
I'm Nick Fishkins and I do not
want to buy this home.
258
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,331
Not sold.
259
00:11:08,414 --> 00:11:10,581
[tires screeching]
260
00:11:10,664 --> 00:11:13,164
- What happened?
- We flipped your house for ya.
261
00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:14,623
Who's that driving away?
262
00:11:14,706 --> 00:11:16,331
That was Nick Fishkins.
263
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:17,914
And what did he say?
264
00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:19,414
He said "Yeesh!
265
00:11:19,498 --> 00:11:21,664
"Who'd want to live
in that thing?
266
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,039
Not sold."
267
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:25,248
I--I can't believe
you did that!
268
00:11:25,331 --> 00:11:26,664
[groaning]
269
00:11:26,748 --> 00:11:29,206
♪ ♪
270
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,456
both: You're welcome!
271
00:11:30,539 --> 00:11:33,081
[rock crackling, rattling]
272
00:11:33,164 --> 00:11:34,748
Gah!
273
00:11:34,831 --> 00:11:36,039
Ach du lieber.
274
00:11:37,373 --> 00:11:40,289
[nautical music]
275
00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:48,539
♪ ♪
276
00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:53,456
[rope creaking]
277
00:11:53,539 --> 00:11:55,789
[suspenseful music]
278
00:11:59,623 --> 00:12:01,914
Oh, look at
that cloud, Gary.
279
00:12:01,998 --> 00:12:05,123
It looks just like
a giraffe eating ice cream.
280
00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:07,123
- [meows]
- You're right, Gary.
281
00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:08,456
All this cloud-watching...
282
00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:09,831
[stomach grumbles]
is making me hungry too.
283
00:12:09,914 --> 00:12:12,623
Ooh!
Look at that big one, Gary.
284
00:12:12,706 --> 00:12:14,831
And getting bigger
and bigger
285
00:12:14,914 --> 00:12:18,164
and bigger
and bigger and--ow!
286
00:12:18,248 --> 00:12:20,248
[dramatic music]
287
00:12:20,331 --> 00:12:21,831
[meow]
288
00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:24,498
[sniffing]
289
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:27,581
Hey, Gary.
That was a pretty heavy cloud.
290
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,831
- [meows]
- You're right, Gary.
291
00:12:29,914 --> 00:12:33,164
It's not a cloud at all.
[grunts]
292
00:12:33,248 --> 00:12:34,998
Let's see what's inside.
293
00:12:35,081 --> 00:12:36,248
[grunting]
294
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,998
Ooh, fortune cookies!
295
00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:43,081
Vague prophecies baked into
delicious bite-sized snacks.
296
00:12:43,164 --> 00:12:45,831
These cookies can
see the future, Gary,
297
00:12:45,914 --> 00:12:50,331
which means they knew we were
hungry even before we did.
298
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:52,414
Let's eat!
Mmm!
299
00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:56,164
[both eating noisily]
300
00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:59,206
[reading]
301
00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:01,498
[gasps]
Did you hear that, Gary?
302
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,206
The fortune is true!
303
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:04,831
Let's look at your future.
304
00:13:05,998 --> 00:13:09,539
"Happy trails
will follow you always."
305
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,539
[gasps]
Your fortune came true too!
306
00:13:12,623 --> 00:13:15,581
Cookies with fortunes
that actually come true?
307
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,873
We have to share
these with everybody!
308
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,748
No, SpongeBob,
we are not handing out
309
00:13:21,831 --> 00:13:23,831
anything free
with every purchase.
310
00:13:23,914 --> 00:13:25,873
Even the smiles here
cost a nickel.
311
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:28,748
- Aw! Why not, Mr. Krabs?
- [laughs]
312
00:13:28,831 --> 00:13:31,498
Because, SpongeBob,
fortune cookie fortunes
313
00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:35,039
are always lame
and they never come true.
314
00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:37,581
Oh, but that is where
you're wrong, Squidward.
315
00:13:37,664 --> 00:13:39,789
These fortune cookies
are different.
316
00:13:39,873 --> 00:13:41,414
Try one.
317
00:13:41,498 --> 00:13:43,414
- No.
- Oo-oop!
318
00:13:43,498 --> 00:13:44,664
Eh.
319
00:13:46,498 --> 00:13:47,914
[chewing]
320
00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:51,581
[sighs]
"You will be rewarded
321
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,914
for your particular talents."
Right.
322
00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:56,581
Excuse me,
Mr. Squidward Tentacles?
323
00:13:56,664 --> 00:13:58,039
You have just won
324
00:13:58,123 --> 00:14:00,581
"The Most Miserable Cashier
In Bikini Bottom" contest.
325
00:14:00,664 --> 00:14:03,331
Here's your cash prize.
Ha ha!
326
00:14:03,414 --> 00:14:04,706
[tooooot]
327
00:14:04,789 --> 00:14:07,873
Holy harpoons!
The fortune did come true!
328
00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:11,164
Me cash register,
me money.
329
00:14:11,248 --> 00:14:14,414
And that's why my depression
is award-winning.
330
00:14:14,498 --> 00:14:15,831
Don't you see, Mr. Krabs?
331
00:14:15,914 --> 00:14:18,081
The fortunes in those cookies
are real!
332
00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:19,664
Can't we share them
with everyone?
333
00:14:19,748 --> 00:14:21,206
[gasps, coughs]
334
00:14:21,289 --> 00:14:23,123
You know, you're right, SpongeBob.
335
00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:25,581
We must share these
magical macaroons
336
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,123
with all the folks
in Bikini Bottom.
337
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:29,664
You just leave it to me.
338
00:14:29,748 --> 00:14:31,373
Oh, great!
339
00:14:31,456 --> 00:14:33,998
[sighs]
Great.
340
00:14:36,873 --> 00:14:38,248
This is how you hook 'em.
341
00:14:38,331 --> 00:14:42,623
Now remember,
the first one is free!
342
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:45,498
[inhales, blows]
343
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:48,956
[crowd talks excitedly]
344
00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,289
[chewing]
345
00:14:52,373 --> 00:14:55,414
"Something wonderful
is about to happen to you".
346
00:14:55,498 --> 00:14:57,289
[overlapping yipping]
347
00:14:57,373 --> 00:14:59,873
[laughs]
I love puppies!
348
00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:01,623
Thanks, fortune cookie!
349
00:15:01,706 --> 00:15:03,581
Oh.
"Eat your hat,
350
00:15:03,664 --> 00:15:06,289
and you will
fall in love."
351
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,414
Ha ha.
[chewing]
352
00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:09,456
[gasps]
353
00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:11,706
[chewing]
Hmm?
354
00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:13,664
[sighs]
355
00:15:13,748 --> 00:15:15,581
[gulps]
Ah!
356
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:16,998
[both laughing]
357
00:15:17,081 --> 00:15:20,664
both: Thanks, fortune cookie.
358
00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:24,914
"You will soon
injure your legs"?
359
00:15:26,956 --> 00:15:28,789
My legs!
360
00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:31,706
I was looking for an excuse
to get out of jury duty!
361
00:15:31,789 --> 00:15:34,498
[plays riff]
Thanks, fortune cookie!
362
00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:36,414
Those fortune cookies
are a hit!
363
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:37,539
Whoa!
364
00:15:37,623 --> 00:15:40,748
[all talking at once]
365
00:15:42,748 --> 00:15:45,623
Fortune cookies
at the Krusty Krab, eh?
366
00:15:45,706 --> 00:15:48,373
{\an8}Well, Eugene,
I have a prediction too:
367
00:15:48,456 --> 00:15:52,831
you are in for an epic fail
supreme with extra cheese.
368
00:15:52,914 --> 00:15:55,373
- [laughs]
- Sheldon!
369
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:57,123
Where are you?
370
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,373
[screams]
371
00:15:59,456 --> 00:16:01,081
[groans]
372
00:16:01,164 --> 00:16:03,164
Barnacles, woman,
would it kill you
373
00:16:03,248 --> 00:16:04,748
to leave me alone
for five minutes?
374
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,289
Sorry, your lordship,
375
00:16:06,373 --> 00:16:09,623
but the garbage isn't
going to take itself out.
376
00:16:09,706 --> 00:16:11,623
Ugh!
[grunts]
377
00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:13,706
Riddle me this,
computer wife:
378
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:15,206
What's hollow,
full of lies,
379
00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:17,414
and leaves a bad taste
in your mouth?
380
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,206
Our marriage?
381
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:21,706
No! Fortune cookies!
382
00:16:21,789 --> 00:16:23,456
And Krabs is raking it
in right now
383
00:16:23,539 --> 00:16:26,706
because all of his fortunes
are actually coming true.
384
00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:30,206
- So...
- So, you've got an evil plan
385
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,248
to get the Krabby Patty
secret formula
386
00:16:32,331 --> 00:16:33,789
and soon it will
be yours, all yours.
387
00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:36,206
[as Plankton]
Wah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
388
00:16:36,289 --> 00:16:39,664
Wow, I can't tell if
you're sarcastic or psychic.
389
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,164
[groans]
390
00:16:43,331 --> 00:16:46,081
[chuckling]
391
00:16:46,164 --> 00:16:47,581
Ooh, this'll be a good one.
392
00:16:47,664 --> 00:16:51,123
"You... stink."
393
00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:53,831
[laughs]
394
00:16:54,706 --> 00:16:57,248
[continues laughing]
395
00:16:57,331 --> 00:17:00,248
[suspenseful music]
396
00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:03,873
♪ ♪
397
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,498
Enjoy your new
fortune cookies, Krabs!
398
00:17:06,581 --> 00:17:08,914
♪ La la
la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
399
00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:11,164
Time for a refill!
400
00:17:11,248 --> 00:17:14,373
[crowd all talking excitedly]
401
00:17:18,498 --> 00:17:19,789
What is my future?
402
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,373
My tentacles
are gonna fall off
403
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,706
if I don't get
a break soon, Mr. Krabs!
404
00:17:23,789 --> 00:17:25,289
Look out, Mr. Squidward.
405
00:17:25,373 --> 00:17:27,998
I'll teach you how
to run a cash register.
406
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,539
[cracks knuckles]
407
00:17:29,623 --> 00:17:32,914
[nautical music speeds up]
408
00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:35,289
Huh?
More cookies, SpongeBob!
409
00:17:35,373 --> 00:17:37,789
Fortunes flying in,
Mr. Krabs!
410
00:17:37,873 --> 00:17:41,623
Let the wave
of misfortune begin!
411
00:17:41,706 --> 00:17:44,956
"You will get stomach cramps
from the Krusty Krab"?
412
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:49,456
"An octopus with a big nose
just spit in your food"?
413
00:17:49,539 --> 00:17:52,248
[melodramatic accent chords]
414
00:17:52,331 --> 00:17:53,539
♪ ♪
415
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:58,081
"A yellow sponge will
serve you salmonella"?
416
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:02,164
"You will live forever if
you eat at the Chum Bucket"?
417
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,831
Let's eat at
the Chum Bucket!
418
00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:08,289
[all cheering]
419
00:18:08,373 --> 00:18:09,956
[whimpering]
420
00:18:17,539 --> 00:18:20,039
[crowd talking excitedly]
421
00:18:20,123 --> 00:18:22,164
What did we ever do
to those fortune cookies
422
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:24,373
to make them lie
about us like that?
423
00:18:24,456 --> 00:18:25,873
Well, the fortunes
in those cookies
424
00:18:25,956 --> 00:18:28,081
were always right before.
425
00:18:28,164 --> 00:18:30,789
Here, Mr. Krabs--maybe this next
one'll change your luck.
426
00:18:30,873 --> 00:18:32,789
[grumbling]
427
00:18:32,873 --> 00:18:35,206
Hmm. "Unless you
give a tiny copepod
428
00:18:35,289 --> 00:18:38,539
"the Krabby Patty
secret formula,
429
00:18:38,623 --> 00:18:40,081
you will die"?
430
00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:44,456
Hello!
Did someone say "copepod"?
431
00:18:44,539 --> 00:18:46,623
[both screaming in panic]
432
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,456
Just wanted to borrow
a cup of grease, Eugene.
433
00:18:54,539 --> 00:18:57,206
I'll come back later!
Ciao!
434
00:18:57,289 --> 00:19:00,664
J-just how true are these
cookie fortunes, SpongeBob?
435
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:04,331
If the cookie says
it's true, then it's true!
436
00:19:04,414 --> 00:19:08,664
Horribly, terribly,
truthfully true!
437
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:12,873
[weeping loudly]
438
00:19:14,831 --> 00:19:16,248
"You will die."
439
00:19:16,331 --> 00:19:19,623
[voice echoing]
Die... die... die...
440
00:19:19,706 --> 00:19:21,373
[crying]
441
00:19:21,456 --> 00:19:25,956
Oh, I'll miss you, Daddy!
[sobs]
442
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:27,248
But I really can't
wait to spend
443
00:19:27,331 --> 00:19:29,914
all your hard-earned
money on shoes!
444
00:19:29,998 --> 00:19:31,081
Me money!
445
00:19:31,164 --> 00:19:36,248
Mr. Krabs, no!
[wailing loudly]
446
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:38,289
- [grunts]
- [wailing]
447
00:19:38,373 --> 00:19:41,539
[distantly]
Mr. Krabs?
448
00:19:41,623 --> 00:19:44,206
Mr. Krabs, it's time.
449
00:19:44,289 --> 00:19:46,164
- Aah-ha-ha!
- It's time to give up
450
00:19:46,248 --> 00:19:48,081
the secret formula
to Plankton.
451
00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:49,539
Because your life
is worth more
452
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:52,248
than some scrap
of paper in a bottle!
453
00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:54,248
You're right, me boy-o.
454
00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:57,414
I got to face me fortune.
455
00:19:59,248 --> 00:20:01,539
Don't crowd,
there's more chumbalaya
456
00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:04,331
where that came from, unfortunately.
457
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:06,373
[grunts]
458
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,789
[all chewing]
459
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:09,914
all: Ugh!
460
00:20:09,998 --> 00:20:11,789
It's worth it
to live forever.
461
00:20:11,873 --> 00:20:14,789
This scheme is working perfectly.
462
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:17,498
And here comes
gullible Krabs now
463
00:20:17,581 --> 00:20:20,123
to hand-deliver
the secret formula.
464
00:20:20,206 --> 00:20:22,414
I promised
myself I wouldn't cry.
465
00:20:22,498 --> 00:20:23,414
[laughs]
466
00:20:26,873 --> 00:20:29,956
Oh, this crowd
is impossible!
467
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:31,581
Leave it to me,
Mr. Krabs!
468
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:36,664
I'll make sure Plankton
gets his so you won't get yours.
469
00:20:36,748 --> 00:20:39,289
Hot stuff comin' through!
470
00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:40,789
[grunts]
471
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:43,748
[grunting noisily]
472
00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:45,331
[whimpering]
473
00:20:45,414 --> 00:20:49,081
Don't worry, secret formula!
I'm coming, baby!
474
00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:56,081
[grunting]
475
00:20:56,164 --> 00:20:57,831
Yow! Ow!
476
00:20:57,914 --> 00:20:59,706
[struggling]
477
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:05,623
[gasping excitedly]
478
00:21:05,706 --> 00:21:08,248
[grunting]
479
00:21:08,331 --> 00:21:10,956
Me wants that ba-ba!
480
00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:12,539
Aah!
481
00:21:15,373 --> 00:21:18,831
Here, Plankton. Mr. Krabs
wants you to have this.
482
00:21:18,914 --> 00:21:21,581
Heh, heh!
Finally!
483
00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:23,373
[straining]
484
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:24,748
No!
485
00:21:24,831 --> 00:21:27,539
♪ ♪
486
00:21:27,623 --> 00:21:28,831
Whoa--[grunts]
487
00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:32,039
Aah, aah!
488
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:34,539
[screams]
489
00:21:34,623 --> 00:21:37,164
I have had enough!
490
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:42,289
Get out of my restaurant,
you mindless sheep!
491
00:21:42,373 --> 00:21:43,748
I wrote those fortunes!
492
00:21:43,831 --> 00:21:45,164
[all gasp]
They were fakes!
493
00:21:45,248 --> 00:21:48,331
Don't you get it?
Now all of you, out!
494
00:21:48,414 --> 00:21:49,414
[growls]
495
00:21:49,498 --> 00:21:51,623
Let's go back to
the Krusty Krab!
496
00:21:51,706 --> 00:21:54,498
- all: Yeah!
- Yeah, back to the Krusty Krab!
497
00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:57,206
all: Yeah!
498
00:21:57,289 --> 00:21:59,748
- Hmm hmm.
- [sighs]
499
00:21:59,831 --> 00:22:02,498
I guess I didn't really
think that through.
500
00:22:02,581 --> 00:22:05,914
{\an8}I figured the funeral fortune
was phony, Flankton!
501
00:22:05,998 --> 00:22:07,081
{\an8}Oh, yeah?
502
00:22:07,164 --> 00:22:09,998
What are you
gonna do about it, Eugene?
503
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,414
Nothing, Sheldon.
504
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:14,081
Here, have a fortune cookie.
505
00:22:14,164 --> 00:22:15,414
[grunts]
Huh.
506
00:22:15,498 --> 00:22:18,123
"You will go on a long voyage
507
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:21,581
where you will get
everything you deserve."
508
00:22:21,664 --> 00:22:22,831
Hey!
509
00:22:26,539 --> 00:22:27,498
[grunts]
510
00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:30,248
Uhh! Hey! Oof!
511
00:22:30,331 --> 00:22:32,289
- Mommy!
- [chomp]
512
00:22:33,331 --> 00:22:36,456
[ukulele music]
513
00:22:36,539 --> 00:22:44,539
♪ ♪
35080
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