Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

- AH...PATRICK, DON'T YOU LOVE STARING AT CLOUDS

AND THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE?

- YEAH. IT REALLY CALMS MY INNER DEMONS.

- WHOA! LOOK AT THAT CLOUD!

IT LOOKS JUST LIKE SANDY.

- I'M NOT SEEING IT.

OOH! BUT CHECK OUT THAT CLOUD!

I-IT LOOKS LIKE, UM...

U-UH...OH. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

UH...D'OH, IT'S COMING!

UH, LOOKS LIKE... UH...

A CLOUD!

- MM. IT DOES!

HEY, LOOK AT THAT ONE!

[polka music]

IT LOOKS JUST LIKE MR. KRABS, DOESN'T IT?

- SURE DOES. UH...

WHO'S MR. KRABS AGAIN?

WELL, NOW, THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A FLYING HOUSEBOAT.

[eerie moaning]

- UM, PATRICK...

I THINK THAT REALLY IS A FLYING HOUSEBOAT!

[eerie music]

[engine sputtering]

[steam hisses]

WHAT IS IT, PATRICK?

- IT'S PROBABLY JUST ONE OF THOSE

FAKE HAUNTED HOUSES, YOU KNOW...FOR BABIES.

- I DON'T KNOW, PATRICK. IT'S VERY SCARY LOOKING.

AND SPOOKY. - THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN!

I'M GONNA CHECK IT OUT. - PATRICK, WAIT FOR ME!

[Patrick chortling]

OOF!

[grunting and straining]

[panting]

HEY, SPONGEBOB, CAN YOU GIVE ME A BOOST?

- UM--

[both grunting]

- LITTLE TO THE LEFT.

LITTLE HELP.

- OOF... UGH!

- HURRY UP, LAZYBONES.

- [grunting]

- OHH...

LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

IT'S SO CHEESY.

CHECK OUT THIS LAME DOORKNOB.

- [shrieks]

- [whimpers]

- LET'S CHECK OUT INSIDE.

- I DON'T KNOW, PATRICK.

- OH, COME ON. DON'T BE SUCH A BABY.

- WOW. SO LAME.

NICE ATTENTION TO DETAIL, THOUGH.

HA! SO NOT SCARY.

- HEY!

THIS IS A NICE PICTURE.

AAH! AAH!

[screaming]

- DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, SPONGEBOB?

- AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

YIII! - HEY, SPONGEBOB,

CHECK THIS OUT. - OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

- EVEN THE SPIDERS ARE FAKE.

I WISH SOMETHING WOULD...

POP OUT OF A CLOSET.

LIKE A BIG, HAIRY HAND.

THAT WOULD BE SCARY.

- AAH! - AH, BUT THIS PLACE

IS TOO LOW-BUDGET FOR THAT. - AAH!

- WOULD BE COOL, THOUGH, WOULDN'T IT?

- YEAH. THAT'D BE... [gulp]

NEATO. [organ music]

PATRICK, WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM?

- I THINK IT'S COMIN' FROM THAT GUY.

♪

- WHO DARES TRESPASS UPON ME HAUNTED HOUSEBOAT?

- WE DO!

- AYE. AND WHAT MANNER OF BEASTIE MIGHT YOU TWO BE?

- LOOK AT THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL IN HIS MOUTH!

IT'S ALL... ROTTEN AND SLIMY!

- HAAAAH!

- HIS BAD BREATH... [choking] IS INCREDIBLE.

BOY, HIS HAIR'S VERY AUTHENTIC TOO.

IT'S DIRTY... [sniffs]

WHOO! IT REEKS.

AND CHECK OUT THE WORKMANSHIP ON THE JAW MECHANISM!

REMARKABLE BUILD QUALITY.

- [grunts] - OBVIOUSLY A PUPPET.

OR A ROBOT. OH!

WE MUST BE AT ONE OF THOSE FANCY PIZZA PARLORS

WITH THOSE SINGIN' ANIMATED ROBOTS!

- ROBOTS? PUPPETS?

PIZZA PARLORS?

AAAARRRR!

- SING US A SONG, ROBOT.

- WHAT? SING FOR YE?

- OH, OOPS. HA HA. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I ALMOST FORGOT.

[ting]

YOU'RE COIN-OPERATED, AREN'T YOU?

[clink]

- AARR--AARR-- [coughs] YAAH...

YAAH! HMM.

SO YOU WANT ME TO SING YA A SHANTY, HEY?

- UH-HUH, UH-HUH! - DON'T PUT YOURSELF OUT FOR US.

- AND YOU DO NOT THINK I'M A REAL GHOST, DO YE?

- NOPE. - I DO, MR. DEAD PIRATE, SIR!

- OH, HA HA, I'LL SING YE A SONG, ALL RIGHT...

A SONG SO TERRIFYING,

YOU'LL HAVE TO BELIEVE I'M A GHOST!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

- THIS SHOW'S GONNA BE SO AWESOME.

- YEAH, AWESOME.

- HIT IT, FINGERS!

♪♪

- ♪ YO - ♪ HO

- ♪ HO

- ♪ YO HO-OH

- THEY'RE GOOD!

- ♪ OH, WE'RE THE GHOULS OF THE BRINY DEEP ♪

♪ UNDER THE WAVES WE LIKE TO CREEP ♪

- ♪ SLEEPING IN COFFINS WITH SPIDER WEBS ♪

♪ AS GHOSTLY PILLOWS BENEATH OUR HEADS ♪

- ♪ OH, WE'RE THE GHOULS OF THE BRINY DEEP ♪

- ♪ UNDER THE WAVES WE LIKE TO CREEP ♪

♪ WE WEAR BLACK SHROUDS THAT LOOK QUITE NEAT ♪

♪ BUT WE DON'T OWN SHOES

♪ 'CAUSE WE HAVE NO FEET

♪ HA HA HA

♪

- ♪ WE LIKE TO HAUNT AND FRIGHTEN AND SCARE ♪

♪ TILL YOU JUMP RIGHT OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR ♪

♪ WE LIKE TO EAT EYES AND BRAINS ♪

♪ AND DRINK OUR GROG FROM RUSTY DRAINS ♪

♪ WE DON'T KEEP ANIMALS LIKE CUTESY SNAILS ♪

- GARY!

- ♪ OUR FAVORITE PET'S THE CAT-O'-NINE-TAILS ♪

- MEOW.

- AAH! - DO YOU BELIEVE

WE'RE REAL GHOSTS NOW?

- WHERE'S MY PIZZA?

WHAT KINDA PIZZA JOINT ARE YOU RUNNING ANYHOW?

- PIZZA? I'LL GIVE YA PIZZA.

- THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!

- MEEP. MEEP. - MEEP, MEEP.

- MEEP, MEEP, MEEP, MEEP. - MEEP-MEEP-MEEP!

- ANCHOVIES? - ANCHOVIES?

- YOU ARE REAL GHOSTS! - YOU ARE REAL GHOSTS!

- YOU ARE REAL GHOSTS! - YOU ARE REAL GHOSTS!

- AH...HA HA HA!

SO YE FINALLY BELIEVE, EH?

YOU SCURVY SWABS.

- WE DO, WE DO! - PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME

WITH YOUR DEATH RAY EYES, MR. GHOST ROBOT!

TAKE MY BEST FRIEND INSTEAD!

HE'S LIVED A FULL LIFE!

[sobbing]

- YEAH, GREAT FRIEND YOU HAVE HERE.

- WHY HAVE YOU COME TO BIKINI BOTTOM,

OH MIGHTY DEAD PIRATE-TYPE PERSON, SIR?

- IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK.

USUALLY WHEN I COME TO TOWN, IT'S TO...

TERRIFY THE POPULACE!

AND ENSLAVE THEIR SOULS IN ETERNAL TORMENT!

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

AH, BUT THIS TIME, WE JUST BLEW A HEAD GASKET.

- OH. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU GHOSTS HAD GASKETS IN YOUR HEADS.

- NOT US, YOU IMBECILE!

OUR ENGINE ROOM BROKE DOWN.

[coughing]

HEY, CHARLIE, YOU GOT THAT BUSTED HEAD GASKET OUT YET?

- HERE YOU GO, BOSS.

LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A NEW ONE.

- SAY...

MAYBE YOU TWO MORONS-- EH--[ahem]--

ER, FINE GENTLEMEN COULD PICK UP A NEW ONE FOR US.

- [gulp] U-US?

- YES, YOU!

AND JUST AS A LITTLE INCENTIVE TO MAKE YOU RETURN...

I'LL TAKE YOUR SOULS AS DEPOSIT!

HERE'S A SHINY DOUBLOON TO BUY A NEW GASKET.

SUCCEED, AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET ANOTHER DOUBLOON.

IF YOU AREN'T BACK IN 24 HOURS,

YOUR SOULS ARE MINE,

AND YOU'LL BE PART OF ME GHASTLY CREW!

UH...

HERE. LET'S SEE HERE.

THREE WEEKS FROM THURSDAY...

FOREVERRRRR!

- UM...CAN WE RUN SCREAMING IN HORROR

FROM YOUR SHIP NOW, MR. GHOST PIRATE, SIR?

- OH, WHY, CERTAINLY.

- PATRICK, AFTER YOU.

- AAH! - AAH!

- SUCH A POLITE LAD.

- AAH! - AAH!

- ONE SCOOP, PLEASE.

- MMM! - MMM...MMM...MMM.

- AAH! - AAH!

- GHOST! GHOST! HAUNTED HOUSEBOAT!

- [mumbling] HOUTHBOAT PHULL OF GHOTHS!

[both whimpering, wailing]

- WHHHAAAA! - [gibbering]

- EEW! EEW! EEW! EEW!

- HEY! THOSE GUYS ARE INSANE.

- GET OUTTA HERE! - SCRAM!

- WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION OUT HERE?

- AAH! [sobs] COME BA-AA-ACK!

SPONGEBOB, WHAT IN THE BULGING BLUE BARNACLES ARE YOU UP TO?

- MR. KRABS, IT WAS AWFUL!

WE JUST HAD A SPOOKY ENCOUNTER OF THE GHOSTLY KIND!

- YOU HAD A WHAT?

- WE WERE JUST MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESS,

AND THEN A HAUNTED HOUSEBOAT FELL OUT OF THE SKY.

- AND IT WATH FULL OF GHOTHS--

THE REALLY REAL KIND, NOT FAKE KIND.

- THE CAPTAIN OF THE GHOSTS GAVE US THIS DOUBLOON

AND TOLD US TO BUY HIM A NEW HEAD GASKET.

AND THEN HE TOOK OUR SOULS AND HE PUT THEM IN BOTTLES,

AND HE SAID HE'S GONNA TURN US INTO GHOSTS

IF WE DON'T GET THAT HEAD GASKET!

YOU GOTTA HELP US, MR. KRABS!

I FEEL SO EMPTY WITHOUT MY SOUL!

- DID YOU SAY...

DOUBLOON?

LET ME SEE THAT.

HMM. LOOKS SOMEWHAT AUTHENTIC.

SMELLS REAL ENOUGH.

- HEY!

- OKAY. LET'S GO SEE THOSE GHOSTS, FELLERS.

WE'LL CATCH 'EM AND TAKE THEIR GOLD!

- BUT, MR. KRABS,

WE DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT GHOST HUNTING.

[static feedback] [both whimpering]

- I'LL CATCH YOUR GHOSTS FOR YA.

IT'LL BE EASY WITH MY NEWFANGLED PARANORMAL

CRITTER DETECTOR CATCHER GIZMO.

- AND...YOU JUST HAPPENED TO BRING THAT WITH YOU

TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.

- SURE. I WAS LOOKING FOR MILKSHAKE GREMLINS.

[feedback squeal]

NOPE. NONE IN THERE.

- GREAT! THEN IT'S SETTLED.

LET'S GO CATCH US SOME GHOST GOLD!

- WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I HAVE ANY INTEREST

IN YOUR DELUSIONAL ADVENTURISM?

- COME ON, SQUIDWARD.

THINK ABOUT WHAT ALL THOSE DOUBLOONS

COULD DO FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB, EY? HUH?

WHY, I COULD BUY YOU THAT BREAK ROOM

YOU'RE ALWAYS WHINING ABOUT.

[beep]

- OKAY. I'M IN.

- SUPER! MORE HANDS MEANS MORE GOLD.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, SPONGEBOB?

ARE YOU READY?

- I'LL GO. BUT JUST TO GET MY SOUL BACK.

- WHO NEEDS A SOUL WHEN YOU'RE FILTHY RICH?

[ominous organ chords] - SO...HERE IT IS.

PRETTY CREEPY, HUH?

- THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE IT HASN'T BEEN LIVED IN FOR YEARS.

- FOUR YEARS? GOTTA BE LONGER THAN THAT.

- I DON'T SEE ANY SIGNS OF GHOSTS.

NOTHING HERE BUT A BUNCH OF TACKY OLD FURNITURE

AND BORING REPRESENTATIONAL ART.

- [growls]

- HUH?

- LOOK, MR. KRABS. THE DOUBLOONS!

- [squeals]

HA HA HA!

[making slobbering noises]

- MR. KRABS, I WOULDN'T TOUCH THAT IF I WERE YOU.

THAT GOLD PROBABLY HAS GHOST GERMS ALL OVER IT.

- OH, DON'T BE SILLY, SPONGEBOB.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GERMS.

HEADS UP, SQUIDWARD. HUP!

HEY, PATRICK. THINK FAST!

- THINK? OOF!

- ALL RIGHT THEN!

LET'S GET WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD.

OOH!

LOOKS LIKE I MISSED ONE.

[mutters]

SEEMS TO BE STUCK OR SOMETHING.

ARRRGGH!

AAH!

- WHO DARES TOUCH ME GOLD?

- OH, IT'S JUST US, MR. GHOST CAPTAIN, SIR.

WE BROUGHT THE REPLACEMENT GASKET YOU ASKED FOR.

SO...IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE,

DO YOU THINK WE COULD HAVE OUR SOULS BACK NOW

MAYBE? - A DEAL'S A DEAL,

AND I'M A MAN OF ME WORD.

HERE YOU GO, SQUARE ONE.

- AH. THAT HITS THE SPOT.

- THINK FAST, PINK ONE.

- AGAIN?

OOF!

MY SOUL!

- HAR HAR HAR!

THOSE WEREN'T YOUR SOULS.

THOSE WERE JUST A COUPLE OF OLD ORANGE SODAS

THAT HAD BEEN SITTIN' OUT IN THE SUN TOO LONG.

- I THOUGHT MINE SEEMED A LITTLE FLAT.

- BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR REAL SOULS?

- EH. I NEVER HAD 'EM.

EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN'T HOLD ON TO A WILD SOUL.

WELL, NOW THAT THAT'S SETTLED,

THERE'S STILL THE LITTLE MATTER OF--

ME GOLD!

STOP RIGHT THERE!

NO ONE TOUCHES ME BOOTY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.

- PFFT! YOU GHOSTS DON'T SCARE ME.

YOU'RE NOTHIN' BUT THIN AIR.

GRAB YOUR SACKS AND FOLLOW ME, BOYS!

AAH!

- HAR HAR HAR!

WELCOME...TO THE VOID!

WHOO HOO HOO HOO HAH HAH!

- [gibbering]

- YAA! GET ME OUTTA HERE!

- AAH!

- HAR HAR HAR HAR!

- OOH!

OH!

- HMM. SO THIS IS LIMBO.

WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE A SACK FULL OF DOUBLOONS

TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH.

UH-OH.

GOTTA USE THE CAN.

OOH! THERE'S A BIT O' LUCK.

A PORTABLE POTTY.

WHAT'S THIS HERE?

"INSERT DOUBLOON"?

- NOOOOOOOOOOO!

- WOW. THIS VOID SURE IS RELAXING.

HEY! I'VE GOT A DOUGHNUT ON MY HEAD.

COME HERE, YOU.

HEY!

COME BACK HERE!

AAH! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

- HOO HOO HAH HAH HAH!

WELCOME TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

- OH! NO!

- HOO HOO HAH HAH HAH HAH!

HMM?

HEY, STUPID. DON'T YA WANNA EAT ME?

- WELL, NOT REALLY. I DON'T LIKE PLAIN DOUGHNUTS.

- WELL... WHAT KIND DO YOU LIKE?

- UH...I LIKE SPRINKLES!

- AH. VOILA!

- NO. CHOCOLATE.

NO--A BAGEL!

NO, NO, NO! PANCAKES!

NO-- - HEY! PICK ONE

SO WE CAN GET ON WITH YOUR ETERNAL TORMENT!

- OKAY, OKAY.

MAN, YOU'RE PUSHY.

HOW ABOUT...

A KRABBY PATTY?

WITH PICKLES!

AND CATSUP!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!

I WANT...

A PLAIN DOUGHNUT!

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

- OH, GREAT.

I WONDER WHAT MY VISION OF ETERNAL SUFFERING WILL BE.

OF COURSE. - [slo-mo voice] HI, NEIGHBOR.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

- I GUESS THIS IS THE PART WHERE I START SCREAMING.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

- HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

- [chortling] - HEY, CORPSE BREATH.

YOU BETTER LET MY FRIENDS OUTTA THERE

IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

- HA HA HA HA HA!

AND IF I DON'T... WHAT'LL YE DO ABOUT IT,

ME BUBBLE-HEADED LASSIE?

- OH, YOU'LL BE LAUGHING OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR TOMBSTONE

ONCE YOU'VE HAD A TASTE OF MY GHOST CATCHER!

- OOH! THE BIG CHIPMUNK'S GONNA GET US!

[laughing]

- THANKS, LASSIE.

NOW, LET'S JUST GET THIS HERE BAG OF DOUBLOONS

BACK TO THE KRUSTY KRAB. - NOT SO FAST!

THAT THERE BOOTY BE MINE.

- HEY, YOU THIEVIN' BILGE RAT!

I STOLE THIS GOLD FAIR AND SQUARE!

- UH! - OH!

- OOH! - OH...

- OOH! - UH...

- I GOT IT. OW.

- ME GOLD!

- YOU MEAN MYGOLD.

- HEY, THAT'S FUNNY.

HMM. THIS CHEST SAYS IT BELONGS TO THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

- THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?

YOU AIN'T AFRAID HE'S GONNA WANT IT BACK?

- NAH, NAH.

WE USED TO BE PART OF THE DUTCHMAN'S CREW.

WE STOLE HIS GOLD HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO.

BUT THE DUTCHMAN HASN'T FOUND US YET.

AND HE NEVER WILL.

- AVAST!

- HUH? - HUH?

- HEAVE TO... AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED

BY THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!

- THE DUTCHMAN! HOW DID HE TRACK US DOWN?

UNLESS...THAR BE A SNITCH ABOARD.

[dial tone]

- IT IS MY CIVIC DUTY TO REPORT STOLEN PROPERTY.

- WHY, YOU SCURVY LITTLE SCUM SCRUBBER.

YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!

- WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

- AVAST THERE, YOU SCURVY THIEVIN' BARNACLE BATS!

- DUTCHMAN! BOY, AM I GLAD WE FINALLY FOUND YOU!

- SO! IT BE ME OLD FIRST MATE WHO STOLE ME GOLD

AND ME CREW!

- STOLE YOUR GOLD? WE JUST WENT OUT TO GET PIZZA.

- THAT WAS 300 YEARS AGO.

- UH...WE GOT LOST?

OH, BUT WE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR YA EVER SINCE...

TO GIVE YA BACK YOUR TREASURE.

- [gasps] ME BOOTY!

WELL, MAYBE I MISJUDGED YOU FELLAS.

I'M SORRY I WAS SO CROSS WITH YA.

AAH!

OOF!

WHY, YOU TREACHEROUS SEA DEVILS!

WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU--

OKAY. NOW I'M A LITTLE BIT PEEVED.

- HEE HEE HAH HAH HAH!

WELL, THE DUTCHMAN WAS ALWAYS A SAP.

- FROG WHISKERS!

THE DUTCHMAN'S ON OUR TAIL!

- HA HA HA! NOW THAT THE ENGINE'S FIXED,

THE DUTCHMAN WILL NEVER CATCH UP WITH US.

[rumbling]

[engine sputtering]

- BOILER ROOM, WE'RE LOSING POWER.

REPORT!

- THE ENGINE'S ON FIRE, SIR.

- THE DUTCHMAN'S GAINING ON US!

- WE'RE GOING DOWN!

BRACE FOR IMPACT!

- AAH! - AAH!

- AAH!

- DON'T GO ANYWHERE, KIDDIES,

'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE CURSED...

LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN CURSED BEFORE!

- UH-OH. I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

- OBSERVE!

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH...

HA HA HA HA!

YEEEAAAH HA HA HA HA!

[folksy music]

♪

- AH, WELCOME TO THE KURSED KRAB.

HOW CAN WE SERVE YOU THIS ETERNITY?

- I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.

- IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

[bones rattling]

- WELL, HERE'S YOUR MILKSHAKE, SANDY.

- GOTCHA, YOU LITTLE GREMLIN!

- AND WHAT WOULD YOULIKE, SIR?

- I WANT A PLAIN DOUGHNUT.

- [mumbling]

- HOW'S THE HAUL, MR. SQUIDWARD?

- EVERYONE'S PAYING WITH BONES.

- WELL, MONEY'S MONEY.

- NO. I MEAN... ACTUAL BONES.

[ca-ching]

- HMM. THOSE MUST BE WORTH SOMETHING DOWN HERE.

[bell dings] - ORDER UP, SQUIDWARD.

EVERYBODY HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!

IT'S TIME TO FLIP THE PATTIES!

HIT IT!

- [laughing]

[patrons screaming]

- [laughing]

YAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!