Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

[lilting ukulele music]

♪

- [laughing]

GIDDEE-UP! [laughing]

YAH!

- AHEM.

WEREN'T YOU GONNA PUT YOUR VACATION SLIDES

IN THE PROJECTOR, PATRICK?

- OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

- PATRICK, THOSE ARE HASH BROWNS.

- HASH BROWNS!

[eating noises]

- UMM, PATRICK? THE SLIDES?

- RIGHT! THE SLIDES!

VOILA!

UH... NOW WHAT?

- NOW YOU PUT THE SLIDES IN THE PROJECTOR.

- RIGHT! I KNEW THAT.

PUT THE SLIDES IN THE PROJEC... [shouts]

TOR.

DON'T WORRY, SPONGEBOB.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING EVEN BETTER!

AHEM.

OKAY. HERE WE GO.

THERE I WAS... - OH! A SHADOW PUPPET SHOW!

- PLEASE, NO INTERRUPTIONS. - SORRY.

- AS I WAS SAYING,

I WAS LYIN' AROUND MY HOUSE,

NOT EVEN PLANNING TO HAVE A VACATION

WHEN I HEARD A KNOCK AT MY DOOR...

[anguished moan]

FOR CLAMMIN' OUT LOUD!

[grunts]

AWW, SHEESH!

I'M STILL NOT THERE YET?!

[groaning]

- PATRICK!

PATRICK! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?

- I'VE BEEN WAKING UP,

EATING, SLEEPING,

WAKING UP, EATING, SLEEPING,

WAKING UP, EATING, SLEEPING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT A REST!

I NEED A BREAK FROM THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE

OF MY EVERYDAY LIFE.

IT'S SO EXHAUSTING!

HELP ME, SPONGEBOB! PLEASE HELP ME!

- PAL, WHAT YOU NEED IS A VACATION!

- THAT'S IT! I NEED A VACATION!

- SO YOU'D LIKE A VACATION.

- GUH?! OH, GREAT!

ANOTHER THING FOR ME TO...

- YES, HE'D LIKE A VACATION!

- WELL, YOUR OPTIONS ARE ENDLESS, MR. STAR!

ANYWHERE FROM BEAUTIFUL, WHITE SANDY BEACHES

TO EXHILARATING JUNGLE SAFARIS.

IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR BUDGET.

[both grunt]

- I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO STAY HOME.

- "STAY HOME"? THAT'S IT!

YOU CAN TAKE A "STAY-CATION"!

- WHAT'S THAT? - TAKE YOUR VACATION AT HOME!

NO PACKING, NO TRAVEL.

JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!

BEST OF ALL, IT'S FREE! - OH, BOY!

ALL RIGHT, PATRICK, ENJOY YOUR STAYCATION!

- THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO, BUDDY!

- WELCOME TO STAR ROCK INN, SIR.

MY NAME IS "TODD". CAN I CHECK YOU IN?

- I DON'T KNOW. CAN YOU?

- AH, YES, STAR... STAR... STAR...

PATRICK STAR, ROOM 801.

YOUR KEY, SIR. AND PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO LET US KNOW

IF THERE'S ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO MAKE YOUR STAY MORE COMFORTABLE.

[bell dings]

MAY I TAKE YOUR BAGS, MR. STAR?

- I DON'T HAVE ANY BA. UHH...

- FOLLOW ME, SIR. YOUR ROOM IS RIGHT THIS WAY.

YOUR ROOM, SIR.

- OH, DEAR. - IS SOMETHING WRONG, MR. STAR?

- WELL, UM, HONESTLY, I'M NOT SURE

I LIKE THE WAY THIS ROOM IS ARRANGED.

- ARRANGED?

MR. STAR, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

- NO, I... MAYBE IT'S THE WALLS.

- [moans]

- I GOT IT.

LET'S PUT THE ROOM BACK THE WAY IT WAS ORIGINALLY.

- THE POOL IS ONE OF THE STAR ROCK INN'S

MOST RELAXING FEATURES.

- OH! A POOL!

[laughing] POOL.

WHERE'S THE DIVING BOARD?

- THE DIVING BOARD?

OOH. OH, ONE DIVING BOARD, COMING UP!

[pants]

[sawing]

YOUR DIVING BOARD, SIR!

- ALL RIGHT! [laughing]

[crunch]

- YOU OKAY, SIR?

- MY HEAD IS SWIMMING JUST FINE, THANK YOU.

- OH, NO!

LIFEGUARD ON DUTY!

- [exclaiming]

- [inhales]

[blows whistle]

ARE YOU OKAY, SIR?

- SO COLD.

- THIS CALLS FOR CPR.

CANDY PEPPERMINT RESUSCITATION!

- SO WEAK.

STRENGTH...

RETURNING.

[Patrick's stomach rumbles]

BUT I'M STILL HUNGRY. - FOLLOW ME, SIR.

Boing!

OH! [straining]

[thumping]

IF YOU WOULD TAKE YOUR SEAT, SIR.

YOUR DINING BIB, SIR.

- WOW! WHAT LUXURY.

- ONE KRABBY PATTY COMING UP!

- AHEM!

WHAT, NO TIP?

- HEY!

WHAT KIND OF RESORT IS THIS?

WHERE'S THE ENTERTAINMENT?

- OH! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, SIR!

PRESENTING THE SPONGEBOB FOLLIES!

[babbling]

WHAT THE HEY!

- BORING.

- [whistling]

[triumphant music]

- LAME.

- LIFT OFF.

- WELL? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- YOU ARE SMOKIN'!

- AW, IT WAS NOTHING.

- NO. NO, YOU'RE REALLY SMOKING!

- WHAT? [sniffs]

OH, NO! THE KRABBY PATTY!

- [coughs]

[gasps and coughs again]

[stomach rumbling]

MY TUMMY IS STILL LONELY!

[sniffs] AH.

- [sniffs] AH.

AHH! DELISH!

OH! SILLY ME. I FORGOT THE NAPKIN.

AND NOW AN ELEGANT MEAL FOR AN ELEGANT PERSON.

- I AM QUITE REFINED.

AHH!

[belches]

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I'M ON VACATION!

THE LAST RESORT I WAS STAYING AT WAS A DUMP,

BUT THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!

OH, HEY, WAITER. NAPKIN, PLEASE.

- [grumbles]

- MR. STAR?

YOUR MEAL IS READY!

PATRICK? WHERE IS HE? - [shouts]

- AH. - PATRICK, YOU DIM-WITTED MORON.

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!

- GOOD IDEA.

I THINK I'LL HEAD OVER TO THE SPA.

I COULD USE A MASSAGE.

- GET THIS INTO YOUR TINY, TINY, LITTLE, TINY BRAIN:

THIS IS NOT A RESORT.

IT'S MY HOUSE. THERE IS NO SPA.

AND YOU CAN'T GET A MASSAGE!

- OH! OH! OOOH! YEAH, THAT'S THE SPOT.

OH, HEY, YOU SHOULD GET A MASSAGE TOO.

- PFFT! NOT LIKELY.

[neck cracks] OW! OW! OW! OW!

- AHH...

- WHAT THE HAY.

MOVE OVER.

I WANT A DEEP TISSUE TREATMENT, AND DON'T FORGET THE FEET.

[snoring]

- SO TIRED.

AHH!

- [snoring]

- PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- THAT RESORT NEXT DOOR IS TOO CROWDED.

THEN I FOUND THIS PLACE. IT'S QUIET AND PEACEFUL.

GOOD NIGHT, SPONGEBOB.

[snoring]

- [snoring] - WAKE UP, LADDY.

- MM? OH, HI, MR. KRABS.

- YOU HAVE ANOTHER NASTY OL' DREAM?

- MM-MM. - PATRICK IN YOUR BED AGAIN?

- MM-HMM. - AYE.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, LADDY. - GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

[lilting ukulele music]

♪

- [laughs wickedly]

SALUTATIONS, PUNY MORTALS!

I AM THE GREAT GENIE OF THE SLIDE CAROUSEL! OOOH!

ENDURE MY VACATION SLIDES OR I SHALL GRANT YOU THREE MISERIES!

- HEY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THREE WISHES!

- SILENCE, RED ONE!

WITHSTAND MY SLIDES!

- OH, FOR... - YAY!

- [screams]

[fire alarm sound effect]

- EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE, OH GREAT GENIE?

- WHAT, ARE YOU MOCKING ME, KID?

OF COURSE EVERYTHING'S NOT OKAY! I CAN'T SHOW MY SLIDES!

- WELL, THAT'S NOT THE "CAN DO" SPIRIT!

LA.

- NOW WE'RE COOKIN' WITH BLUBBER.

MY SECOND HONEYMOON.

IT STARTED OUT JUST AS ANY ROMANTIC GETAWAY SHOULD:

WITH FIVE DAYS OF ROUND-THE-CLOCK SURVEILLANCE.

- WHOA!

OOH, A LETTER!

THANK YOU, MR. MAILMAN!

BOY, IF I WEREN'T ALREADY ON PAROLE...

- [laughs]

MAIL CALL!

- ATTABOY!

[laughs]

IT'S FREE TICKETS!

- FREE TICKETS! FOR WHAT, MR. KRABS?

"YOU AND A GUEST HAVE WON A WEEK OF RELAXATION

ON A LUXURY OCEAN CRUISE SHIP."

- WhOO-HOO! WORKS FOR ME!

GENTLEMEN, I'M LEAVIN' YOU IN CHARGE.

SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!

- OH, MR. KRABS. THIS SAYS "YOU AND A GUEST"!

- WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD MAKE THAT EXTRA TICKET AVAILABLE

TO, SAY,

WHOEVER WANTS TO BE ME MANSERVANT!

- RIGHT THIS WAY, SIR!

- YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAND OVER

THAT SECRET FORMULA RIGHT NOW!

'CAUSE ONCE YOU SHOVE OFF, IT'S AS GOOD AS MINE!

[laughs]

WHAT IN SEA BOTTOMS?

- LOOKIE HERE, BOY,

I'M BRINGIN' ALONG THE SECRET FORMULA

AS A PRECAUTION...

JUST IN CASE OUR ABSENCE PROVES TOO TEMPTING

TO A CERTAIN ONE-EYED CREEPY-CRAWLY.

- WELL PLAYED, KRABS. WELL PLAYED, INDEED!

BUT AS USUAL, THIS "ONE-EYED CREEPY-CRAWLY"

IS ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU!

YA CAN'T BEAT PLAN B!

YA CAN'T BEAT IT!

OH, THIS IS GONNA BE SO SWEET!

KAREN, WE ARE GOING ON A LUXURY CRUISE!

- A CRUISE? JUST THE TWO OF US?

OH, PLANKTON!

[laughs happily]

HEY, IF THIS IS ANOTHER SCHEME TO STEAL THE SECRET FORMULA,

YOU CAN LEAVE ME HOME!

- NO, OF COURSE NOT.

JUST THINK OF IT AS OUR SECOND HONEYMOON.

- DON'T YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FIRST HONEYMOON

BEFORE YOU EMBARK ON A SECOND?

- WHY DON'T I BUMP UP THOSE VACATION SETTINGS UP A SMIDGE?

- OH, PLANKTON, THIS SECOND HONEYMOON

IS GOING TO BE SO GREAT!

- YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE GROOVY, BABE.

NOW, A QUICK CHECK OF THE VACATION INVENTORY.

SUNTAN LOTION, SUNGLASS, DEATH LASER...

- GOT IT!

DID YOU SEE THE PRETTY LASER, HONEY?

- SEE IT?! IT ALMOST SPLIT ME IN HALF!

- WHOOPS! SORRY!

I'M JUST SO EXCITED ABOUT OUR CRUISE!

CRUISEY CRUISE CRUISE!

[giggles] CRUISE!

CRUISE! CRUISE!

[laughs] CRUISE...

- GOTTA RETHINK THAT VACATION ALGORITHM WHEN WE GET BACK.

[horn blasts]

[laughter]

[clink]

[cool music]

♪

NOTHING TOPS KICKIN' BACK

NEXT TO MY LOVING COMPUTER WIFE

AND SOAKING UP THE RAYS.

- OH, I HOPE I DON'T GET SCREEN BURN!

- LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT, HONEY!

- OH, PLANKTON! YOU'RE SUCH A SWEET HUSBAND

WHEN YOU AREN'T OBSESSING OVER THAT STUPID SECRET FORMULA!

- [laughs]

- THERE HE IS, THAT SWABBY FOOL!

YOUR TURN NOW, KRABS.

- PLANKTON? WHO ARE YOU DENOUNCING NOW?

- OH, THE... HORS D'OEUVRES GUY!

HE'S LATE WITH MY NIBBLES AGAIN!

- OH, DON'T GET ALL WORKED UP, PLANKTON.

LET'S JUST FOCUS ON SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME

TOGETHER ALONE FOR A CHANGE.

- [laughs]

NOW PUSH ME BACK UP TO THE TOP!

PUSH ME TO THE TOP!

- WOULD YOU LIKE A NIBBLE, SIR? - IS THAT KELP CHEESE?

- THAT SNACK IS AS BIG AS YOU ARE!

[laughs] - VERY FUNNY, KAREN.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A PILE OF CHEESE!

THAT'S IT!

[laughter]

[grunts]

- [laughs]

WHEE!!

[laughing]

- [straining]

[pants]

[screams]

squish!

- DID YOU HEAR THAT?

- [moans]

- I COULD HAVE SWORN I HEARD PLANKTERON.

- HEY... ME, TOO.

- OH, WELL. ONE MORE TIME AROUND THE DECK!

- I'M SO EXHAUSTED!

HOW'S IT GOING, HONEY?

- [snoring]

[yawns]

OH, HI, PLANKTON!

I MUST HAVE ACTIVATED SLEEP MODE!

OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA THIS WAS,

GETTING AWAY FROM YOUR USUAL SHENANIGANS!

- YEAH, HEH HEH, SURE IS.

- [laughing]

- UHH, JUST SIT BACK WHILE I MASSAGE YOUR WHEELS.

- NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME SO TIRED...

[snoring]

- SLEEP WELL, BABE. [laughs wickedly]

WHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE!

- BOY, I AM SO SWEATY.

- [howls]

I HATE YOU, KRABS.

- WHOO-HOO!

- YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME!

- I'M FEELING LUCKY! - [screams]

[surfer music]

- OH, YEAH! WHOO-HOO!

- GO, MR. KRABS!

- I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

FORMULA OR NO FORMULA, I'M TAKING YOU DOWN!

- [laughs]

- WHOA! WHAHH!

- [moans and grunts]

[screams]

[electric whining]

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I GIVE UP!

I KNOW WHEN I'M BEAT.

- OOH! WHAT'S ALL THIS?

"FREE LAND FOOD"! SOUNDS SO EXOTIC!

[sniffs]

THIS LOOKS PROMISING.

BLEH!

THAT TASTES LIKE PUTREFIED CORAL STEMS

DIPPED IN ROTTEN BUTTER SAUCE.

- MMM... YEAH.

- UGH, HOW CAN ANYONE STAND THIS SLOP?

MAKES ME MISS OUR GRUB BACK AT THE OLD KRUSTY KRAB.

SPONGEBOB, BE A GOOD MANSERVANT

AND FIX ME UP A KRABBY PATTY, WOULD YA?

- A GOOD FRY COOK IS NEVER FAR FROM HIS GRILL, SIR!

[all sniffing]

- WHAT IS THAT DELICIOUS SMELL?

- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WANT IT, WHATEVER IT IS!

- ORDER UP, MR. KRABS!

[excited chatter]

- [chuckles]

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A BUSINESS VENTURE ON OUR HANDS.

THIS VACATION JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT MORE LUCER-ATIVE,

IF YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

KRABBY PATTIES!

COME AND GET YOUR KRABBY PATTIES!

- AHEM! GOOD DAY, SIRS!

I WOULD LIKE TO PILFER YOUR...

I MEAN, PURCHASE A KRABBY PATTY.

- WATCH ME SUCKER THIS GUY.

THAT'LL BE A MERE $100!

- THAT'S ALL? WHY, CERTAINLY!

[laughs]

[laughter]

- COME TO DADDY!

[sniffs]

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE'S CHUM ALL OVER THIS BILL!

HEY, BUDDY, WHERE'D YA GET THIS?

- FROM THE SAME PLACE THIS IS GOING...

THE CHUM BUCKET LABORATORY!

NICE DOING BUSINESS, KRABS!

[laughs wickedly]

- NOO!

- STAND BACK, SIR.

LEAVE THIS TO YOUR TRUSTY MANSERVANT.

- [laughs wickedly]

CHOKE ON THAT, YOU BIG...

[grunts]

- I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING!

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRIED TO FOOL ME

FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH NEEDS!

MY SECOND HONEYMOON RUINED!

[sobs] - WELL, TECHNICALLY,

IT'S YOUR FIRST. - OH, WOULD YOU CAN IT ALREADY?

I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO TURN UP THE SETTINGS ON MY VACATION APP.

- I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD...

[shouting]

- IF I WASN'T ON PAROLE...

- ME CUSTOMERS!

AH, THIS VACATION IS A TOTAL BUST!

- THANKS, MY SWEET LITTLE GONDOLIER!

THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST... HONEYMOON EVER!

[lilting ukulele music]