Original subtitles

[seagulls calling] - ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHHHHH!

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE

♪ UNDER THE SEA?

- ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

- ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

- ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

- ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

- READY? All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

- ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

HA HA HA HA HA!

♪

[surf rushing, seagulls calling]

[light ukulele music]

♪

Both: [snoring]

- ♪ MAKIN' IT CLEAN, I'M LIVING A DREAM ♪

♪ MAKIN' THE SCENE

♪ I'M MAKIN' IT CLEAN

♪ I'M MAKIN' IT CLEAN

♪ I'M MAKIN' IT

♪ CLEAN

- HEY, BUDDY, WHAT ARE YOU CLEANING FOR?

- 'CAUSE I'M EXPECTING SOME VERY IMPORTANT COMPANY.

- WHO'S THAT? - MY BIG SISTER SAM.

- WOW! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SISTER.

- NOBODY DOES.

I LOST HER IN THE SURF WHEN WE WERE KIDS.

- GEE, I'M SORRY, PATRICK.

- SAM TOOK CARE OF ME

WHEN I WAS JUST NURSING ON CORAL.

SHE WAS MY... [sniffles]

MY...[sniffling] MY...

ROCK!

[sobbing]

- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

YOU'RE GONNA SEE HER AGAIN TODAY!

RIGHT? TODAY?

COME ON, CHEER UP, BUDDY.

HEY, I'LL MAKE SURE HER VISIT HERE

WILL BE EXTRA-SUPER-SPECIAL, NO MATTER WHAT!

- THANKS, MAN. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE UP FOR OUR LOST YEARS.

- WOULD YOU TWO PIPE DOWN?

- SORRY.

I WAS GETTING MY PLACE READY FOR MY SISTER!

- WELL, I HOPE SHE'S NOT AS OBNOXIOUS AS YOU!

[vehicle approaches]

[tires screech]

[pounding footsteps]

- SAM!

- [growls]

[heavy breathing]

BRUBBER!

- SIS!

- HEH... HEH HEH... HAH!

- IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- YOU... SISTER SAM

HAVE MUCH CATCH UP TO DO!

- HOO! WHOA!

YOU PACK A WALLOP, SIS!

OOF!

SAM, THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND SPONGEBOB.

- YEAH, PATRICK AND I GO BACK A LONG WAY.

[both laughing] LONG WAY.

- LONG WAY.

- YELLOW SQUARE

TOUCH BRUBBER!

MAKE SISTER SAM...

MAD!

- I CLEANED MY ROCK JUST FOR YOU.

- AAH!

OH!

- HEY, LET'S GO INSIDE AND PLAY.

- HOUSE TOO SMALL.

MAKE BIGGER.

- HEY, GREAT IDEA.

I'LL JUST GO GET SOME TOOLS AND...

- NO! - UH... HUH?

- I HAVE ALL TOOLS HERE.

- OH, DEAR NEPTUNE, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?

[gagging]

- THANKS, SIS.

- SISTER SAM LOVES TO MAKE ROCK

FOR BRUBBER.

- WELL, "MAKE ROCK" SOMEPLACE ELSE!

MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SAND!

- IF BIG NOSE NO LIKE SAND...

BIG NOSE MOVE!

[grunting]

[objects crashing]

- THIS IS WAY BEYOND MY PROPERTY LINE.

HEY, PATRICK,

THAT OAF MAKES A BETTER BULLDOZER THAN A SISTER!

[laughs]

CONSTRUCTION HUMOR.

- NO LAUGHING!

- NO, NO, DON'T BE UPSET WITH SQUIDWARD.

HE DOESN'T MEAN IT. DO YOU, SQUIDWARD?

- OH, I MEAN IT, ALL RIGHT. SHE'S A BIG BUFFOON...

LIKE PATRICK!

EXCEPT BIGGER. AND DUMBER.

AND BUFFOONIER.

- [growling]

- OH, SQUIDWARD, YOU JOKESTER.

- [snorting]

- UM, DO YOU THINK SHE LOOKS A LITTLE... MIFFED?

- RRRR!

[whimpers]

[sobbing]

THOSE BOYS MEAN!

THEY PICK ON SISTER SAM!

- SHAME ON YOU TWO! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

- LOOK WHAT WE'VEDONE?

[rumbling]

[whistling sound] - AAH!

- GOLLY GEE DIDDLY, CLINT. THAT WAS A NICE TOSS.

- WEREN'T ME, TUCKER. MY MONEY'S ON THE LITTLE MISSY

OVER YONDER.

- AW... HEY, SIS.

DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE MEANIES.

- [snuffling]

- THE NEW ROCK, IT'S LOOKIN' KINDA...

UH... BORING.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE DECORATE IT?

- BLECORATE?

- YOU COULD CALL IT WHATEVER YOU LIKE, SIS,

JUST AS LONG AS WE MAKE IT SPIFFY.

- [grunting]

- MAKE NEW HOUSE... SPIFFY!

HA! SPIFFY.

- HEY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

THAT'S MY WINDOW!

[crash]

- [chortling]

BLECORATE.

- THAT'S THE SPIRIT, SIS! - OH, NO.

THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT THE SPIRIT, PATRICK.

YOUR SISTER IS OUTTA CONTROL!

- HEY! JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

AND LET US BLECORATE IN PEACE.

- YOU CAN BLECOR... DECORATE UNTIL THE SEA COWS COME HOME,

FOR ALL I CARE!

JUST DO NOT USE MY PROPERTY TO DO IT!

[gasps]

- MORE SPIFFY! HEE!

- BUT THAT'S FROM...

MY HOUSE!

THAT'S IT!

I HAVE HAD MY FILL OF THIS THIEVING BRUTE!

- HOW DARE YOU CALL MY SISTER A THIEF!

JUST... JUST 'CAUSE SHE TOOK SOME OF YOUR THINGS.

- EASY NOW, GENTS. LET'S NOT LET TEMPERS FLARE.

NOW, DON'T YOU THINK, PATRICK,

THAT IT'S A TEENSIE BIT UNFAIR

THAT SISTER SAM DISMANTLED SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE?

- NO. I DON'T.

NOT EVEN A TEENSIE,

EENSIE...

TEENSIE BIT.

I SEE NOW THAT NOT ONLY HAVE YOU TURNED AGAINST MY SISTER,

YOU'VE TURNED ON YOUR BEST FRIEND AS WELL!

- IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL, PATRICK.

I JUST... - SHUSH.

MEANIES MAKE BRUBBER'S EYES WATER!

MEANIES GO HOME!

UHH!

- WHA!

- COME ON, SIS.

THEY CAN'T BOTHER US UNDER OUR ROCK.

- MEANIES IS MEAN.

- [muttering angrily]

- SQUIDWARD?

OH! WAIT! SQUIDWARD, WAIT!

BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING TOO RASH,

LET ME TRY TO TALK TO THEM.

- THE TIME FOR TALK IS OVER!

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION!

A ROCK MADE OUT OF SAND BY TWO IDIOTS

IS NO MATCH FOR ONE CARVED FROM THE...

[grunts]

TIDES OF TIME!

- I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO THAT!

- WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK?

IF IT'S DESTRUCTION THEY WANT,

IT'S DESTRUCTION THEY'LL GET!

AAH! - WHO MAKES NOISE?

OH!

SPIFFY BROKEN!

SISTER MAD!

- OOF!

- NOW, SAM, IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS.

SQUIDWARD WAS JUST REARRANGING THE SPIFFY.

- [growling]

SISTER SAM REARRANGE NOW!

- PLEASE DON'T.

WELL, SQUIDWARD, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,

THIS WILL MOTIVATE YOU

TO FINALLY TAKE CARE OF THAT KITCHEN REMODEL.

RIGHT, SQUIDWARD? HUH?

HMM. MUST BE EAGER TO GET STARTED.

- [chortling]

both: HUH?

- OH, SQUIDWARD! SQUIDWARD, STOP!

JUST CALM DOWN, BUDDY.

LET'S EASE THAT TENTACLE OFF THE ACCELERATOR, HMM?

- OH... YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?

- WOW!

- SWEET DESTRUCTION!

[dramatic music]

♪

- THAT'LL TEACH THOSE MEANIES.

- YOU'RE STILL MY ROCK, BIG SIS.

- PATRICK, I THINK YOUR SISTER'S TEMPER

IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

- SPONGEBOB, WHY ARE YOU STILL SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT SAM?

- SHE DESTROYED MY HOUSE IN A FIT OF RAGE!

SHE NEEDS TO CONTROL HER TEMPER!

- I GUESS SHE CAN GET A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.

- WHAT PATRICK DOING?

WHY PATRICK TALK TO MEANIES?

- WELL, UM... UM...

IT'S ABOUT YOUR TEMPER, SAM.

- NO HAVE TEMPER!

THIS MAKES SISTER SAM

SO MAD!

SISTER SAM

PUT ON MEAN FACE!

[growling]

NOW SMASH BRUBBER HOUSE!

- NOT THE ROCK!

- [growling]

PATRICK? LITTLE BRUBBER?

LITTLE BRUBBER?

LITTLE BRUBBER NO WAKE.

- PATRICK?

[harp music]

- [sniffing]

- COOKIE DOUGH.

- PATRICK OKAY!

SISTER SAM FEEL BAD.

SORRY SHE HURT PATRICK.

SHOULD PROTECT LITTLE BRUBBER!

SHE GO NOW! - SIS, NO, HOLD ON!

OH, DON'T FEEL SAD.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO!

- YES! SISTER SAM MUST GO.

LATE FOR MANICURE.

BYE, BRUBBER.

- [strangled] BYE, SIS.

OOF! [wheels screech]

[ukulele music]

♪

GEE, ISN'T MY SISTER SOMETHIN'?

- OH, SHE'S SOMETHIN', ALL RIGHT!

HA HA HA HA HA!

[light ukulele music]

♪

[eerie music]

♪

- ALMOST DONE.

COULD YOU HAND ME THAT WRENCH, SPONGEBOB?

- NUH-UH-UH!

LAB PARTNER. - HUH?

- YOU CALLED ME SPONGEBOB. I THOUGHT WE AGREED

TO ADDRESS EACH OTHER BY OUR PROPER TITLES.

- SPONGEBOB! - UH, UH, UH! LAB PARTNER.

- THERE! IT'S FINISHED.

NOW I CAN HIDE MY NUTS BACK IN TEXAS

WITHOUT LEAVIN' MY LAB!

[triumphal music]

♪

IT WORKED!

HOORAY! - WE DID IT!

- AW, NUTS.

[ominous music]

♪

- FINALLY... THE DAY HAS COME!

- YOU MEAN THURSDAY?

- NO. IT IS THE DAY I STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET FORMULA

FROM CRABS.

- AND WHY, PRAY TELL, IS TODAY DIFFERENT

FROM THE OTHER DAYS YOU FAILED TO STEAL IT?

- BECAUSE TODAY I'VE COMPLETED MY GREATEST INVENTION!

BEHOLD!

WHAT, EXACTLY, AM I... BEHOLDING?

A VEGETABLE STEAMER?

- THIS IS NO ORDINARY VEGETABLE STEAMER,

KAREN, MY COMPUTER WIFE.

IT'S MY LATEST INVENTION, AND ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY?

MEOW!

- OH... BROTHER.

- SWEETIE, YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME ACHIEVE

MY DIVINE PURPOSE, AREN'T YOU?

YES!

AND STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY RECIPE!

HEE HEE HAH HAH HAH HAH!

[ding] ♪ IT'S READY!

OH, BOY.

WHEW!

MAN, IS IT HOT IN HERE.

- TELL ME ABOUT IT.

- IT WORKED!

IN THIS NEW GASEOUS FORM,

I'LL BE ABLE TO SILENTLY SQUEEZE

THROUGH THE CRACKS OF THE KRUSTY CRAB.

[laughing]

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

- MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY,

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

- HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!

- NOW, HOW MUCH WAS... - [chortling]

[farting sound]

- HMM. [sniffing]

EEW!

- FINALLY, THE MOMENT HAS COME!

- NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!

[pfft... pop]

NOOOO!

[pfft]

- [sniffing] EEH!

- AAH!

HEY! CUT IT OUT!

- PLANKTON, IS THAT YOU?

- OF COURSE IT'S ME, YOU MORON.

- YOU WERE ABLE TO CONVERT YOURSELF

INTO GASEOUS FORM?

FASCINATIN'!

- HUH? WAIT!

- [whistling]

I GUESS I NEVER REALIZED

YOU WERE SUCH A STUDENT OF SCIENCE.

MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME FIX MY NUT TRANSPORTER.

- HUH? DID YOU SAY TRANSPORTER?

HMM...

INTERESTING.

HEY! MAYBE IF I COMBINE THIS DEVICE WITH MY OWN INVENTION,

THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA WILL BE MINE!

I MEAN, I THINK I HAVE THE RIGHT PARTS IN MY LAB, MAYBE.

- WE'RE IN BUSINESS!

SAY... THIS IS A DANDY LAB.

- IS THAT GOOD? - [giggles]

DOES A PIG PLAY POKER? - I GUESS.

- I SHOULDA VISITED YOU BEFORE...

WHAT WITH YOU AND ME BEIN' THE ONLY TWO SCIENTISTS IN TOWN.

- HA HA. YES.

- [grunting]

- YES, SIR. YOUR LAB IS AMAZING.

- DO YOU REALLY LIKE IT? - AND HOW!

- [groaning]

HERE'S YOUR TELEPORTER, LAB PARTNER.

- THANKS, SPONGEBOB.

- PLEASE CALL ME LAB PARTNER.

- SO... WHERE DO I HOOK UP MY TELEPORTER?

- OH, JUST PLUG IT INTO THAT DOOHICKEY OVER THERE.

- JUST WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A DOOHICKEY?

- WOWEE! IS THAT A REAL MARK 3 SURPLUS WIFE-O-MATIC?

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!

- [giggles] OH, WHY, THANK YOU!

- NO, NO THATDOOHICKEY.

THIS DOOHICKEY!

JUST PLUG YOUR TELEPORTER INTO MY DEVICE,

AND WITH OUR COMBINED MIGHT, WE SHALL CONQUER THE WORLD!

[panting heavily]

- UH-HUH.

OR I CAN COMBINE YOUR GASIFIER WITH MY INVENTION

AND TRANSFORM MY NUTS INTO A GASEOUS CLOUD

THAT TRANSPORTS THEM BACK TO TEXAS!

- [exhales] YES, THAT'S... WHAT I MEANT.

- YES! IT'S WORKIN' AT LAST...

NEW LAB PARTNER!

- OH...

I GUESS YOU WON'T BE NEEDING ME ANYMORE.

- THAT'S RIGHT!

AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

- HOLD ON! YOU CAN'T GO, SPONGEBOB!

WE NEED YOU. - WHAT?

HE'LL JUST GET IN THE WAY.

- NEED ME? [sniffles]

HOW COULD I HELP? I'M NOT EVEN A...

[sniffles] SCIENTIST.

- WHY, YOU'LL HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB OF ALL.

YOU'LL BE OUR TEST MONKEY.

- TEST MONKEY?

OOH-OOH-AH-AH-AH! UH-UH-UH-UH!

TEST MONKEY REPORTING FOR DUTY.

- A TEST MONKEY?

I'VE NEVER HAD A TEST MONKEY BEFORE!

[sniveling]

THERE ISSOME MAD SCIENTIST IN YOU AFTER ALL!

HEE HEE HAH HAH HAH!

- HAH HAH HAH HAH! - [high-pitched tittering]

[tittering]

- OKAY, WE REALLY HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR EVIL LAUGH.

- READY! - ROGER!

- UGH!

JUST A SEC.

[grunting]

WHOA!

[pfft]

- HEY, WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?

- UGH! WE ONLY TELEPORTED HIS EYES!

- OH, BOY. TRY AGAIN.

- WHERE IS THAT IDIOT SPONGEBOB?

LEAVING ME STUCK WITH ALL THE COOKING.

THIS JOB STINKS!

[pfft]

OOH. LITERALLY.

- AAH!

MR. KRABS! YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME!

THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN YOU GOTTA SEE!

- OH, WELL.

[thud] - OH!

- TRY AGAIN.

[pfft]

- SEE FOR YOURSELF! HUH?

[pfft] - [sniff sniff]

EH!

I SEE.

SO IT WAS YOU THAT BEFOULED ME OFFICE EARLIER, WAS IT?

- JUST A FEW MORE ADJUSTMENTS..

- OKAY...

LET HER RIP!

- DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD LOOK FOR ME?

OR IS IT A BIT TOO FLASHY?

- STAND CLEAR!

- CLEAR OF WHAT?

AAH!

- SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING ON AROUND HERE.

[pfft]

- HI, SQUIDWORTH. - AAH!

MR. KRABS!

THERE'S A STRANGE SOUND COMING FROM THE RESTROOM!

- HMM. NOW ONLY HIS MOUTH IS MISSIN'.

- SHUT IT DOWN.

[pfft] - [gasps]

FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, SQUIDWARD.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[pfft]

- TEST THREE!

- I CANNOT BELIEVE

I HAVE TO DELIVER ALL THIS JUNK FOOD MYSELF!

AAH!

WHAT THE...

HUH?

OH, THANK YOU.

AAH! [thud, crash]

[music volume raises]

[pfft]

- LOOK, NO HANDS! OR FEET.

HA HA HA! - WELL, WE'RE GETTIN' CLOSER.

GOGGLES!

- SHALL WE ACTIVATE IT TOGETHER?

- WHY, SURE ENOUGH!

THREE! - TWO!

- ONE!

- FIRE!

OW.

[powering up hum]

[pfft]

- OOH, I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM.

[pfft]

- OH!

NEPTUNE'S TROUSERS, SQUIDWARD!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST LAY OFF THE BROCCOLI FOR A WHILE.

- IT WORKED!

WE TRANSPORTED HIS WHOLE BODY THIS TIME!

- YES! MY PLAN WORKED!

AND NOW I HAVE NO FURTHER USE FOR YOU TWO GOODY-GOODIES!

USING YOUR TECHNOLOGY,

I SHALL TELEPORT MYSELF DIRECTLY TO THE KRUSTY CRAB,

AND THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA

♪ WILL BE MINE!

[chortling]

- OH, NO. PLANKTON HAS FINALLY WON!

AND WE... WE HELPED HIM.

- NOT EXACTLY!

LAB PARTNER.

[beep]

- THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA!

BUT IF THAT'S HERE... WHERE'S PLANKTON?

- FOOLS!

I PLAYED THEM LIKE A 32-BIT SYNTHESIZER!

[chortling]

NOW, WHERE IS THAT FORMULA?

THE FORMULA IS GONE?

[muffled] NOOOOOOO!

- DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING? - I DON'T HEAR A THING.

BUT SOMETHING STINKS.

- AW, I KNEW PLANKTON WAS HATCHING AN EVIL PLAN

THE WHOLE TIME.

SO I JUST ADJUSTED THE CONTROLS

TO PUT PLANKTON WHERE HE CAN'T DO ANY HARM.

NOBODY FOOLS A SQUIRREL FROM TEXAS!

[tittering]

[chortling]

AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!