Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

- HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE, PLANKTON?

OR HAS THIS OLD GRANNY HAD ENOUGH FOR ONE NIGHT?

- OH, GRAMMA,

YOU KNOW I ALWAYS HAVE MORE PUDDING FOR YOU.

- OH, THAT LOOKS SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL.

- YOU ONCE TOLD ME THAT THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR

GROWING UP AS A CHILD.

- RATION?

- ER, NO, CHOCOLATE.

OPEN UP.

[creaking]

SHOOM!

YOU CAN LET GO OF THE SPOON NOW, GRAMMA.

THERE. OOP.

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A LITTLE ON YOUR FACE.

HERE, LET ME.

THERE YOU ARE. THERE YOU ARE, DARLING.

- OH, PLANKTON, YOU ALWAYS WERE MY FAVORITE GRANDDAUGHTER.

[door clicks open]

- FIVE MINUTES UNTIL BEDTIME, MR. PLANKTON.

- WELL, GRAMMA, THAT'S THE SWEETEST, MOST TENDER...

- FIVE MINUTES, MR. PLA...

- I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!

NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

- [snoring]

- GRAMMA, DON'T FORGET YOUR TEETH.

- [coughing]

- OOH.

NOW, NOW, GRAMMA, JUST RELAX.

THERE, THERE.

- [snoring]

- THAT'S PERFECT.

PERFECT.

[laughing maniacally]

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?

NO ONE CAN SAY NO TO A HELPLESS LITTLE GRANDMA.

EXCUSE ME, SONNY, I'D SIMPLY LOVE

ONE OF YOUR KRABBY WHATSITS,

BUT MY DELICATE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM HAS SPECIAL NEEDS,

AND I'LL NEED TO SEE A COMPLETE LIST OF INGREDIENTS.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME TO BE UP ALL NIGHT

WITH PAINFUL BLOATING, WOULD YOU?

- GOODNESS, NO.

HERE YA ARE.

- THANKS, SONNY.

I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE IT HOME.

I LEFT MY BIFOCALS THERE.

[laughing]

- ♪ LA, LA-LA-LA, LA-LA

♪ LA, LA-LA-LA, LA-LA

YAY! A DIRECT HIT.

THREAT NEUTRALIZED, CAPTAIN.

ROGER, OVER.

RIGHT AWAY, CAPTAIN.

ALL HANDS, PREPARE TO DIVE.

REPEAT, PREPARE TO...

[knock at door]

[footsteps squishing]

- AHEM!

- HI, LADY.

- WHY, SPONGEBOB,

DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?

- EEH, NOT REALLY.

- IT'S ME, YOUR DEAR OLD GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW.

- [gasps] QUICK, COME INSIDE.

WOW.

MY VERY OWN GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW.

WHY HAVE WE NEVER MET?

- I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LIFE, YOUR JOB,

WHERE THE SECRET FORMULA IS... ER, I MEAN...

- [sniffles] I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME BACK,

DOUBLE-GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW.

- ICK.

[shudders]

- YOU'RE COLD.

LET'S WRAP YOU UP IN SOMETHING NICE AND COZY.

OKAY, LEAN FORWARD.

- [groans]

- THERE WE GO.

NOW, LEAN BACK, GRAMMY-MAW.

IT'S THE COZIEST PILLOW I HAVE.

- [muffled screaming]

- HOW ABOUT WE LOOK THROUGH SOME OLD FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMS?

- [mumbling]

- OH. [chuckles]

HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME

WHEN I DEVELOPED MY FIRST APPENDAGE.

PRETTY NEAT PHOTO ALBUM, EH, DOUBLE-G-GRAMMY-MAW?

- IT WAS CERTAINLY INTERESTING,

BUT I'D LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR MORE RECENT AFFAIRS,

LIKE WHERE YOU WORK, FOR INSTANCE.

- [laughs] DON'T WORRY.

I'VE GOT PICTURES OF THAT TOO.

BUT WE HAVE A COUPLE MORE FROM MY EARLY CHILDHOOD

TO GET THROUGH FIRST.

- NEVER LET IT BE SAID

THAT I DIDN'T SUFFER FOR MY OCCUPATION.

[crickets chirping]

[rooster crows]

- [snoring]

HUH?

- [snoring]

- [whispering] GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW.

- HUH?

OH, I HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE DREAM OF MY LIFE.

I WAS DRESSED UP AS...

HOLY MOTHER OF NEPTUNE, IT'S TRUE.

- GOOD MORNING.

I'LL GO AND FIX US A NICE BREAKFAST,

AND THEN WE'LL SPEND THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER.

- SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL.

[laughing]

- SO, GRAMMY-MAW, WHAT KINDS OF THINGS

DO YOU ACTIVE SENIORS LIKE TO DO?

- ACTUALLY, SPONGEBOB,

I SAID I WANTED TO SEE YOUR LIFE, REMEMBER?

- HMM.

- I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LIFE, YOUR JOB,

WHERE THE SECRET FORMULA IS... ER, I MEAN...

- NO.

YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT STUFF.

YOUR LIFE MUST BE WAY MORE FULL AND EXCITING.

- WELL, UH...

- COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN.

[slurping]

AHH.

ISN'T THIS TEA DELICIOUS, GRANDMA?

- WHY, YES.

[slurping]

HOW CAN YOU DRINK THIS DRECK?

[all gasp]

- WHAT?

- [laughs nervously]

WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS, "MORE, PLEASE."

- KNITTING CIRCLES SURE ARE FUN, EH, GRAMMY-MAW?

- NOPE.

- WHY ARE YOU NOT HAVING FUN?

- WHY?

BECAUSE I DON'T KNIT, YOU NITWIT.

- ARE YOU SURE?

'CAUSE YOU MAKE A REAL NICE SCARF.

AW, GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW, YOU WIN AGAIN.

ALL HAIL THE GREAT CANASTA-MASTA.

GRANDMA, YOU GETTIN' BORED?

- NO, I'M GETTING HUNGRY.

I CAN FEEL MY OWN STOMACH ACIDS EATING AWAY AT MY ORGANS.

I COULD EAT A VILLAGE.

- WOULD YOU SETTLE FOR A KRABBY PATTY?

- WOULD I?

[giggles maniacally]

[clears throat]

YEAH, I WOULD.

UH, SPONGEBOB, WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY

IF WE USED THE REAR ENTRANCE?

I'M A LITTLE SHY AROUND NEW PEOPLE.

- HMM.

HEY, GRAMMY, DO ANTENNAE RUN IN OUR FAMILY?

- ANTENNAE? WHAT, NO, I...

- [giggles]

AW, SHE REALLY IS SHY.

NOBODY EVER USES THIS DOOR EXCEPT FOR ME AND...

SQUIDWARD.

- [screams]

- SPONGEBOB, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

ABOUT LURKING BACK HERE ON YOUR DAYS OFF.

- I'M JUST BRINGING IN MY GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW

FOR SOME LUNCH.

- YOUR WHAT?

- MY GREAT-GRAMMY-MAW.

SHE MUST BE HIDING.

WELL, SHE DID SAY SHE WAS SHY.

- RIGHT.

SPONGEBOB, I PROMISE NOT TO TELL MR. KRABS ABOUT THIS

IF YOU PROMISE THAT I DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN

FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

- [coughing]

- GRAMMY, THERE YOU ARE.

I WAS STARTING TO WORRY.

- NEVER MIND.

JUST GET ME INTO THAT KITCHEN.

- WELL, HERE IT IS.

- AT LAST.

- GRANDMA, I'M JUST GONNA GO MAKE SURE

THE RESTROOMS ARE STOCKED, YOU KNOW, REAL QUICK.

IT'S PART OF MY DAY-OFF DUTIES.

- OKAY, I'LL BE STANDING RIGHT HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK

AND NOT OFF SOMEWHERE SNOOPING AROUND

FOR THE SECRET FORMULA OR ANYTHING.

- [laughs] WHAT?

- NOTHING. GO AHEAD.

[laughs]

[air hissing]

LET'S SEE HOW THIS DECOY FLOATS YOUR BOAT.

[laughs]

- OKAY, GRAMMY-MAW, THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF.

I...

GRAMMY-MAW?

HMM, SHE MUST HAVE MADE HER OWN WAY UP TO THE CASH REGISTER

ALL BY HERSELF.

MAYBE I'LL CATCH UP ON MY DISHWASHING

WHILE I HAVE THE CHANCE.

THE KRUSTY KRAB MANUAL SAYS IT IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA

TO START BY TURNING THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL ON

JUST IN CASE THERE IS ANY LEFTOVER RUBBISH IN THE SINK.

[disposal grinding]

SOUNDS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK IN THE...

GRANDMA!

OH, I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK.

[panting]

OH, DOUBLE-GREAT-GRAMMY-GRAMS,

YOU WERE SO SOFT AND FRAGILE,

LIKE A... LIKE A... LIKE A...

[sniffles] LIKE A BALLOON.

- SPONGEBOB.

SPONGEBOB, UP HERE.

- GRANDMA? IS THAT YOU?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- OH, I'M ALL RIGHT,

BUT I'VE BEEN GROUND TO A PULP.

IF ONLY THERE WAS A NICE, COOL, SAFE PLACE NEARBY,

LIKE A SAFE NEARBY, WHERE I COULD REST AND RECOVER.

- WELL, THERE IS THE SAFE WHERE MR. KRABS KEEPS

THE KRUSTY KRAB SECRET FORMULA

THAT PLANKTON'S BEEN TRYING TO STEAL

FOR THE PAST BUNCH OF YEARS.

I DON'T THINK HE'D MIND

IF MY DEAR OLD GRAMMY-MAW RESTS IN THERE.

- WHY WOULD HE?

- HERE WE GO.

I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU A LITTLE LATER.

- OH, I FEEL BETTER ALREADY.

[snoring]

- [whispering] SWEET DREAMS, GRAMMY-MAW.

- [laughs]

SWEET DREAMS INDEED, FOOL.

ONLY THIS DREAM IS ABOUT TO BECOME A NIGHTMARE

FOR MR. KRABS.

[laughs evilly]

I'M JUST GOING TO SAVOR THIS MOMENT,

BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE,

I FEEL TRULY ALIVE.

- PLANKTON.

- [gasps]

- YOU'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY BOY, PLANKTON.

- BUT I... GRAMMA, I CAN...

- I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR THIS STUFF.

- GRAMMA, I CAN EXPLAIN.

- I'M SURE YOU CAN.

PLANKTON JR., YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS WERE A...

- GRANDMA?

[gasps] YOU CAUGHT PLANKTON.

LET ME GUESS.

TRYING TO STEAL THE SECRET FORMULA, RIGHT?

- GET OUT OF MY WAY, RAPSCALLION.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH FOOLISHNESS FOR ONE DAY.

- [moans]

- [singing nonsense]

[Gary yowls]

OH, SORRY, GARE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE.

THIS SIDE OF TOWN SURE HAS GONE DOWNHILL.

UH, MR. KRABS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

- OH, YOU KNOW, UNWINDING, ENJOYING THE FREE PARKING.

- OOH.

- [squelching]

- WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOUR CRITTER THERE?

- I'M NOT SURE,

BUT WHENEVER HE DOES THAT, HE FINDS CHANGE.

- CHANGE, AS IN LEGAL TENDER?

- YEAH, WATCH.

- [meows]

- WELL, SHIVER ME SHELL WAX.

YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE MONEY-DETECTING...

UH, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT... SNEAGLE.

- YOU MEAN SNAIL?

- SAY, SPONGEBOB,

WHY DON'T YOU EVER BRING YOUR LITTLE SNEAGLE

TO WORK WITH YA?

- BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT PETS

WERE NOTHING BUT DISEASE-CARRYING VERMIN

THAT SHOULD NEVER BE BROUGHT TO THE WORKPLACE.

- OH, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW

THEY HAD SUCH AN INCREDIBLE TALENT.

- YES, BUT FOR SOME REASON,

THE WHOLE PROCESS CAUSES GARY GREAT DISCOMFORT.

I COULD NEVER DO THAT TO HIM.

- I COULD.

[coins jingling]

- [meows]

- THERE YOU GO. BRING IN THAT CHANGE.

- [squelching]

- [laughs]

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ONE FOR MONTHS.

[laughs]

- WHAT'S SO FUNNY, MR. KRABS?

- OH, HI, SPONGEBOB.

UH, WELL... SAY, AREN'T YOU

SUPPOSED TO BE OUT BACK SCRAPING OUT THE DUMPSTER?

- DONE AND DONE.

- THEN GET BACK THERE

AND SWAB THE POOP DECK, SO TO SPEAK.

- YES, SIR.

[coins jingling]

- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHANGE?

- YOUR CHANGE?

ANYTHING ON THE FLOOR BE FAIR GAME.

- HEY!

- [laughs]

LOOKS LIKE I NEED POCKETS FOR ME POCKETS.

[all muttering angrily]

HEY, WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING?

WAIT. COME BACK.

AH, FINE.

GO ON, THE LOT OF YA.

WITH ME NEW MONEY FINDER HERE, WHO NEEDS YA?

I WAS ABOUT TO CLOSE UP SHOP ANYWAY.

- CLOSE UP?

COME ON, GARE, YOU'RE GOING WITH ME.

- YOU'RE NOT TAKING HIM HOME WITH YA JUST YET.

UH, YOU HAVEN'T DEGREASED THE FRYER.

NOW, GET IN THERE AND DO IT.

AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU TILL YOU DO.

- YEAH BUT...

- AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT JERRY HERE.

I'LL MAKE SURE HE GETS HIS NIGHTLY CRAWL.

- [muffled] GARY.

[coins jingling]

- [chuckles] EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

[whistles]

DIRTY MONEY SPENDS JUST LIKE THE CLEAN STUFF.

OOP.

SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- MR. KRABS, I FINISHED THE...

[retches]

I FINISHED SCRUBBING THE FRYER, SIR.

- YOU SURE MADE EASY WORK OF IT.

- TRY TELLING THAT TO MY FRIZZLED HANDS.

- YOU GOT TO KEEP WORKING, BOY.

- I DO?

- YEAH.

WHY DON'T YOU, UM,

REARRANGE THE WALL RIVETS FROM SMALLEST TO LARGEST?

- HEY, AREN'T THEY THE SAME SIZE?

- THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE, BOYO.

NOW, GET BACK IN THERE AND TAKE A LONG LOOK.

- WILL DO, CAP'N.

LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA-LA.

- HOO!

NOW BACK TO OUR LITTLE TREASURE HUNT, EH, BOY?

- [snarls]

- YOU OKAY, BARRY?

[coins jingling]

ATTABOY.

- MR. KRABS WAS RIGHT.

A COUPLE OF THESE RIVETS ARE OFF BY AS MUCH AS FIVE NANOMETERS.

WELL, I'D BETTER GET TO WORK.

- [snoring]

- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

WE AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT.

THERE'S A LAUNDROMAT THAT NEEDS TO BE CLEANED OUT.

[laughs] CLEANED OUT.

GET IT?

AH, NEVER MIND. MUSH!

- [meows]

- IF YOU DON'T GET MOVING, I'M GONNA...

- YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT, SIR?

- EH, I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM A SNAILY TREAT.

- [snarls]

- SEE?

- [muffled yowling]

- OH, OKAY.

THOSE RIVETS ARE ALL REARRANGED, MR. KRABS.

- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

UH, OKAY, THEN,

NOW I WANT YOU TO PAINT THE KRUSTY KRAB.

- NO PROBLEM. THAT'S EASY.

- EH, EH, EH, BUT I WANT YOU TO DO IT

WITH THIS TOOTHBRUSH.

- SURE THING, SIR.

BYE, LITTLE PAL.

- [meows]

- OH, HO, HO.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT TERRY.

HE'S IN GOOD CLAWS.

- I'M SURE HE IS. GOOD-BYE.

- NOW, LITTLE SNEAGLE,

ARE YOU READY TO DO SOME LAUNDRY?

[laughs]

[giggles]

- HUH?

HEY.

WHERE'S MY CHANGE?

- [laughing]

- WELL, THAT STINKS.

- [laughing]

I'LL BET HE DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA...

ER...

WE JUST FOUND THE POT AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW.

[laughs]

[machines dinging]

- WHAT THE...

- [laughing]

IT'S JUST LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.

- AND THEN IT WENT WHOOSH OVER THERE.

AND THE COINS JUST FLEW FROM THE MACHINE.

- DON'T WORRY, SIR. WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

- UH-OH, THEY'RE ON TO US.

TIME FOR PLAN "B."

- AH, THAT SHOULD DO IT.

AH, I BETTER CHECK IN WITH MR. KRABS

AND SEE IF HE NEEDS ME TO DO ANY MORE IMPOSSIBLE STUFF.

[panting]

- OH, BOY.

I'M NOT GONNA HEAR THE END OF THIS WHEN I GET HOME.

- PARDON ME, SIR.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A KRAB

WALKING AROUND WITH A SNAIL, HAVE YOU?

- SAY, ARE YOU IN WITH THOSE THIEVING CRIMINALS TOO?

- THIEVING WHAT?

- THEM TWO JERKS WHAT STOLE MY MONEY.

THE FAT ONE USED HIS SNEAGLE TO SWIPE MY COINS FROM ME.

- HIS SNEAGLE?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

WHY, THE COINS WERE STICKIN' RIGHT TO ITS SHELL.

[grumbling]

[Mr. Krabs laughing]

- MR. KRABS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GARY?

HUH, SO THIS IS WHAT A HOTBED OF SIN LOOKS LIKE.

[toilet flushes]

- [laughing]

HOW'S IT GOING, BOYO?

YOU FEELING THE COIN VIBES?

- [coughs]

[meows weakly]

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T FEEL SO GOOD?

- [meows]

- YOU LOOK FINE TO ME.

NOW, QUIT BEING SUCH A BABY,

AND START MAKING ME SOME MONEY.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

PREGNANT LADY COMING THROUGH.

[laughing]

UH, HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE, HOO, BOY.

IT SURE IS HARD BEING PREGGERS.

- UH, YEAH.

- [gasps]

OOH!

OH!

[panting]

OOH.

[coins jingling]

[chomping]

[stammering]

[squeals]

GET READY FOR A DOWNPOUR, ME BOY.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MONEY.

- HUH? WHAT?

- COME ON, HARRY, LET'S GO.

COME ON, YOU.

- MR. KRABS.

FOR SHAME.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M JUST SHOWING RORY OFF.

- DON'T YOU LIE TO ME.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR USING GARY TO STEAL MONEY.

- [squelching]

- I AM DOING NOTHING OF THE SORT.

I WOULD NEVER STEAL.

YOU HAVE TO QUIT MAKING UP STORIES, BOYO.

- I'M NOT MAKING UP ANYTHING.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SCHEME.

YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING UP STORIES.

[coins jingling]

- DON'T YOU HAVE WORK YOU SHOULD BE DOING?

- OH, THAT'S RICH.

- NO, IF I WAS RICH,

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO HIRE THE LIKES OF YOU.

- THAT'S HURTFUL, MR. KRABS, AND YOU KNOW IT.

- WHY, YOU LITTLE YELLOW...

WELL, I NEVER.

- YOU NEVER WHAT,

LEARNED TO USE DECENT LANGUAGE?

- [gasps]

[all screaming]

- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SWEET BOY I HIRED SO LONG AGO?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

JACKPOT!

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

COME TO PAPA.

OH, BOY.

[monitor beeping]

- YEAH, HE'S IN PRETTY BAD SHAPE

WITH THE IMPACT OF ALL THAT METAL,

BUT HE'LL PULL THROUGH.

- DOCTOR, HOW DOES THIS SORT OF THING HAPPEN?

- I THINK THIS MIGHT HAVE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

- HEY, MY MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY FRIDGE MAGNET.

- YES, IT APPEARS THAT YOUR PET SWALLOWED IT.

IT HAS A VERY STRONG MAGNETIC PULL.

- 'CAUSE IT'S A MAGNET.

THAT'S IT, MR. KRABS.

- [laughs] WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

- UNFORTUNATELY, THERE'S STILL THE MATTER OF THE BILL.

- WHAT? OH, I CAN'T AFFORD THIS.

- ACTUALLY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT

JUST ENOUGH CHANGE TO COVER IT.

- NOOOOO!

[lilting ukulele music]

♪