Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

- [whistling a tune]

DELIVERY FOR MR. SQUIDWARD TENTACLES.

HELLO?

ANYBODY HERE?

- SQUIDWARD'S NOT AT HIS POST.

HMM... THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING.

AH!

[laughs]

- HELLO?

YOO-HOO, MAIL DELIVERY.

- HELLO, I'M SQUIDWARD.

WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB,

WHERE WE NEVER LEAVE OUR POST.

[laughs]

AND HOW MAY I HELP YOU ON THIS FINE DAY?

[sputtering]

- RIGHT.

[screaming]

- HEY.

IT'S HARD TO GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP

WHEN PEOPLE KEEP DROPPING JUNK ON MY HEAD.

HOORAY!

YAHOO!

WHOOPEE!

[laughs]

WHOOPEE!

WHOO... - PEE!

- WHOO...

- PEE.

- WHOOP... - PEE!

- AVAST, THERE.

WHAT ARE YOU ALL HAPPY ABOUT?

- I'M ON MY HAPPY BREAK, MR. KRABS.

- YOU I'M USED TO.

WHY IS HE SO HAPPY?

- I'M HOLDING A PACKAGE

FROM FAMOUS PRODUCER BUDDY BARRACUDA.

I SENT HIM MY PLAY, AND HOW HE'S GONNA PRODUCE IT.

I QUIT.

SO LONG, LOSERS.

LET'S SEE HERE. OH, YEAH.

"THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING YOUR PLAY

"ENTITLED SQUIDWARD: STROKES OF GENIUS.

"YOUR WORK SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT YOU AS AN ARTIST,

"A PERSON, AND A MEMBER OF SOCIETY.

"SO IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THAT WE ANNOUNCE

WE WILL NOT BE DOING YOUR PLAY."

[sighs]

- HEY, SQUIDWARD!

YOU'RE BACK FROM YOUR AMAZING SUCCESS AS A PLAY WRITER.

- UH...

- AND YOUR SHIRT,

IS THAT A COTTON-POLY BLEND?

FANCY.

[gasps]

AND JUST LOOK AT YOUR STYLISH NEW HAIRDO.

SAY, IS THAT A COPY OF YOUR PLAY?

OH, MY GOODNESS!

ARE YOU GONNA PUT ON YOUR AMAZING PLAY

AT OUR LITTLE OLD KRUSTY KRAB?

OH, YOU ARE A TRUE PATRON OF THE ARTS, SQUIDWARD.

- WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT COULD WORK.

IF PEOPLE SEE MY PLAY,

THEY'LL RECOGNIZE MY GENIUS,

AND I'LL BECOME FAMOUS, AND...

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA.

ME CUSTOMERS COME HERE FOR GREASY FOOD AT HIGH PRICES,

NOT FOR SINGING AND DANCING.

- BUT MY PLAY DOESN'T HAVE SINGING AND...

- BUT, MR. KRABS, PEOPLE PAY TO EAT, RIGHT?

- OF COURSE.

- AND THEY WOULD PAY TO WATCH A PLAY, RIGHT?

- UH, I SUPPOSE.

- WELL, IF THEY EAT AND WATCH A PLAY,

YOU CAN CHARGE TWICE AS MUCH.

- REALLY? HOW 'BOUT FOUR TIMES AS MUCH?

- WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

- WELL...

OKAY, BUT ONLY ON ONE CONDITION,

THAT YOU BOTH KEEP WORKING,

'CAUSE IF JUST ONE KRABBY PATTY IS LATE,

I'M SHUTTING YOU DOWN.

- HMM, NOW, WHAT WILL WE CALL

THIS EATING DINNER AND WATCHING THEATER?

- DINNER THEATER?

[laughter]

- OH, SURE.

- NO, COME ON. LET'S GET SERIOUS.

WE NEED A TITLE THAT SOUNDS...

DRAMATIC.

GOT IT!

WE'LL CALL IT "SINGY EATY TIME."

- BUT, SPONGEBOB, THERE'S NO SINGING IN MY...

- I LOVE IT!

[all murmuring]

- WOW, LOOK AT ALL THESE ASPIRING ACTORS

WANTING TO TAKE PART IN MY GENIUS.

- WHOA-HO-HO-HO!

AND ALL OF THEM WILLING TO WORK FOR NO PAY.

[all murmuring]

- DID I GET THE PART?

- YOU'VE GOT ALL THE PARTS.

- YEAH!

YEAH!

- AND WE LET HIM HANDLE OUR FOOD?

- HMM, "SINGY EATY TIME WITH SQUIDWARD TENTACLES."

HELLO, CAN I ORDER?

HELLO?

- IT'S TIME.

PLACES, PEOPLE.

PLACES.

- PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.

- DIM THE HOUSE LIGHTS.

[shouting and thuds]

BRING UP THE STAGE LIGHTS.

RAISE THE CURTAIN.

- HOW MUCH AM I GETTING FOR THIS?

[light applause]

- UNTO THIS WORLD, AN OCTOPUS WAS BORN,

A CEPHALOPOD WITH PROMISE AND POTENTIAL.

- UM, I'D LIKE A DOUBLE KRABBY MEAL

WITH EXTRA KELP.

- GO AWAY, GO AWAY. SHOO, SHOO.

- WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

YOU DO YOUR JOB, OR I'M SHUTTING YOU DOWN.

- FINE.

HE HAD PROMISE UNTIL HE CAME

TO WORK HERE AT THE KRUSTY KRAB,

SERVING LOCAL MORONS

HEART-STOPPING, ARTERY-CLOGGING GARBAGE

MASQUERADING AS FOOD.

- YAH-HEY!

- AT THE KRUSTY KRAB, HIS TALENT WAS WASTED.

- EXCUSE ME.

CAN I GET A REFILL?

- NO, YOU CA... - SQUIDWARD.

- [sighs]

YES, YOU CAN.

BUT WHO WILL REFILL THE EMPTY CHASM IN MY SOUL?

- I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I DON'T KNOW.

- HIS LIFE SHATTERED,

IS THERE ANY TASK TOO DEMEANING FOR OUR HERO?

- HEY, MY KRABBY PATTY DOESN'T HAVE KETCHUP.

- IT WOULD APPEAR NOT.

NO KETCHUP?

THAT'S TERRIBLE.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

WOULD ANY OF YOU WANT THIS JOB?

All: MM-MM.

- SQUIDWARD, YOU GET THAT CUSTOMER A FRESH PATTY

WITH KETCHUP, NOW.

AND DON'T FORGET TO CHARGE HIM AGAIN.

- AND THEN THERE'S SKINFLINT BOSS.

- WHAT'S THAT, MR. SQUIDWARD?

- UM, BUT MR. KRABS, I'M ACTING.

- OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY THEN.

BUT GET HIM A KRABBY PATTY.

- FINE.

SPONGEBOB, ONE KRABBY PATTY WITH KETCHUP.

AND NOW WE COME TO THE WORST PART OF MY JOB,

WORKING WITH HIM.

- HUH? THE... UM...

UH, THE... DAH...

I FORGOT MY LINE.

- YOU DON'T HAVE ANY LINES!

- I DON'T?

- NO, JUST STAND THERE

AND ACT LIKE...

YOURSELF.

- OH! I CAN DO THAT.

[clears throat]

ONE KRABBY PATTY COMING UP.

OOH, WHAT IS THIS?

A STRAY WRAPPER IN MY KITCHEN?

OH, THE TRASH IS FULL.

I HAD BETTER CALL THE GARBAGE TRUCK.

[mimicking truck-reverse beep]

[making motor sound]

- TALENT.

OUTSTANDING.

THANK YOU.

THAT'LL DO.

BUT LO AND BEHOLD...

- HEY, MAN, WHERE'S MY KRABBY PATTY?

- HIS GENIUS WAS UNRECOGNIZED.

- COME ON, MAN.

I JUST WANT MY PATTY.

- YEAH, ME TOO.

- TAKEN FOR GRANTED,

UNCREDITED, OVERLOOKED,

IGNORED...

- [making truck noises]

- DISRESPECTED,

UNAPPRECIATED,

UNLOVED.

BUT WORST OF ALL...

UNDERPAID.

- [laughs]

IT'S FUNNY,

'CAUSE IT'S TRUE.

[watch ticking]

- HE'S DONE. ORDER.

- UH...

- AND FURTHERMORE...

[both groan] - OH, THERE'S FOREVERMORE.

- UNFULFILLED.

IN A WORD, HIS MYRIAD OF TALENTS WERE... WASTED.

- OH, COME ON!

All: WE WANT KRABBY PATTIES.

WE WANT KRABBY PATTIES.

- SQUIDWARD, YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME CUSTOMERS

THEIR CRABBY PATTIES.

- ALL RIGHT.

SPONGEBOB, WHERE'S THAT PATTY?

- BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP.

AHH!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

HAVE I LET THE LURE OF THEATER PRODUCTION

GET BETWEEN ME AND MY PATTIES?

SQUIDWARD, FORGIVE ME.

I LET THE GLAMOUR OF THE STAGE

DISTRACT ME FROM MY TRUE CALLING,

MAKING SURE THAT EVERY KRABBY PATTY I PREPARE

IS THE BEST IT CAN BE.

- UH-HUH.

- NO, SQUIDWARD, NO.

THOSE PATTIES AREN'T FIT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.

- HERE, ENJOY.

- AH!

- UGH.

OH, COME ON.

ALL THAT WAITING FOR THIS?

- OH, PUH-LEASE.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW QUALITY

IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE.

DOH!

I SAID IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE.

- WHOA-HO-HO-HO.

THAT WAS WORTH THE WAIT.

I'LL TAKE TWO MORE.

- I'LL TAKE FIVE.

- I WANT TO THROW SOMETHING AT HIM.

- HEY, YEAH, WE ALL WANT TO THROW SOMETHING AT HIM.

[all talking]

- QUIET!

GENTLE PATRONS, KRABBY PATTIES ARE MEANT TO BE EATEN,

NOT FLUNG.

THINK OF ALL THE JOY

THESE GREASY, JUICY PATTIES

AND THEIR ATTENDANT CONDIMENTS HAVE GIVEN YOU.

- GOSH, HE'S RIGHT.

- WE SHOULDN'T BE SO DISRESPECTFUL

OF OUR FAVORITE MEAL.

- [sniffs] BLESS YOU ALL.

- I LIKE THROWING FOOD.

- DOH!

All: FOOD FIGHT!

Both: DOH!

- AND FOR YOU?

- I'LL TAKE 20.

- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING HEAVIER?

- CERTAINLY.

[shouting and splattering]

- AHH!

- [guffawing]

- OH, BOY.

- SQUIDWARD. SQUIDWARD!

GOOD NEWS.

THE PLAY IS SUCH A SUCCESS,

I'VE ADDED TWO MORE SHOWS AND A MATINEE.

BREAK A LEG TOMORROW.

[laughter]

- D'OH.

- [laughing crazily]

- AHH, THE ETERNAL EXPANSE OF THE DEEP SEA,

TEEMING WITH FANTASTIC CREATURES...

UH... TEEMING...

I'M SURE THEY'RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

AH-HA!

OH, THAT'S A ROCK.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

EGH!

[laughs] IT IS JUST SPONGEBOB.

WATCH AND WITNESS

ONE OF THE RAREST AND MYSTERIOUS RITUALS OF THE DEEP,

THE STARING CONTEST.

- PATRICK, WOW. - WHAT?

- YOU ARE THE BEST STARER I'VE EVER STARED AT.

- OH, STARING CONTEST.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A BLINKING CONTEST

AND I WAS LOSING.

[descending whistle]

- HARK, PATRICK.

DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

[descending whistle]

thunk!

HMM, IT'S A LETTER FOR SANDY,

ALL THE WAY FROM TEXAS.

WE BETTER DELIVER IT.

SANDY!

OH, IT'S NOT OPENING.

- HEY, SPONGEBOB,

I HAVE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HELP.

- "HOW TO OPEN THINGS."

BRILLIANT, PATRICK!

I SAW THE MOVIE, BUT I NEVER READ THE BOOK.

- UH, OKAY.

GARBAGE CANS... NO.

JAR... NO.

BOX... NO.

SANDY'S DOOR!

"TWIST TO THE LEFT."

- OH, I WAS TWISTING TO THE RIGHT.

- A COMMON MISTAKE, MY GOOD FRIEND.

ALLOW ME.

OKAY, TIME TO OPEN THIS.

- HI-YA!

TRYING A NINJA SNEAK ATTACK?

[grunts]

HI-YA!

WELL, YOU'RE STILL NO MATCH FOR MY SQUIRREL FU.

IT'S A LETTER FROM MY TWIN BROTHER RANDY.

- OH!

- DO YOU MIND?

- NOT AT ALL. READ ON.

- DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

- GET OUT OF MY SUIT!

[flushing noise]

WELL, GOLLY.

RANDY SAYS THE RODEO'S COME TO TOWN.

I'VE GOT TO HEAD BACK TO TEXAS

AND DEFEND MY CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE.

- CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE? FOR WHAT?

- YOU GOT COTTON IN YOUR EARS?

- MM, NO, IT'S NOT COTTON.

IT'S ACTUALLY AN OLD MOLDY PIECE OF KRABBY PATTY.

[gulps] MMM.

- IS YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE FOR JELLYFISHING?

- NO. - KARATE?

- NO!

- PERHAPS THE SCIENCE FAIR, THEN.

- NO, IT'S MY RODEO CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE.

- RODEO?

WHAT DOES "RODEO" MEAN?

- ♪ CRITTERS THAT YOU GOT TO WRANGLE ♪

♪ COWBOY SUITS WITH PURDY SPANGLES ♪

♪ BOOTS WITH SPURS THAT JINGLE-JANGLE ♪

♪ THAT'S A RODEO

♪ TIGHT BLUE JEANS YOU GOT TO SQUEEZE IN ♪

♪ BUT THEY SURE LOOK MIGHTY PLEASIN' ♪

♪ BIG BELT BUCKLES ARE ALWAYS IN SEASON ♪

♪ THAT'S A RODEO

[together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO [together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO

[together] ♪ YIPPEE TI YAY

♪ YIPPEE TI YO

[together] ♪ RODEO - ♪ RODEO

[together] ♪ RODEO - ♪ RODEO

[together] ♪ YIPPEE TI YAY

♪ YIPPEE TI YO

- ♪ RIDE THAT CRITTER

♪ DON'T BE NO QUITTER

♪ HOLD ON TIGHT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT ♪

YEE-HAW!

♪ THAT'S A RODEO

♪ TRACTOR PULLS AND BIG OL' BULLS ♪

♪ LINE DANCING, HORSES PRANCING ♪

♪ BARREL RACING, BAREBACK RIDING ♪

♪ BRONCO BUSTING, ALUMINUM SIDING ♪

♪ THAT'S A RODEO

[together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO [together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO

[together] ♪ YIPPEE TI YAY

♪ YIPPEE TI YO

[together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO [together] ♪ RODEO

- ♪ RODEO

[together] ♪ YIPPEE TI YAY

♪ YIPPEE TI YO

[upbeat bluegrass music]

♪

- ♪ AND DON'T FORGET WHO MAKES US LAUGH ♪

♪ WHEN WE'RE FEELING DOWN

♪ THE HAPPY SLAPPY SUNNY FUNNY ♪

♪ GOOD 'OL RODEO CLOWN

- CLOWNS?

DON'T GO, SANDY.

IT'S TOO RISKY.

- I MUST.

IT'S MY DUTY.

- OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE.

WE CAN'T LET SANDY GO ALL ALONE.

IT'S TOO DANGEROUS UP THERE, RIGHT, PATRICK?

- EH, I'M IN-DIFF-ER-ENT.

- HOW COULD WE LIVE WITH OURSELVES

IF SANDY GOT HURT AND WE WEREN'T THERE TO HELP?

WHY, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MYSELF.

- LOOK AT YOURSELF?

HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

WHOA.

EEEH-YAH!

[shouting]

- PATRICK!

THIS IS NO TIME FOR SILLY GAMES.

SANDY NEEDS US.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

PATRICK?

PATRICK?

- NO MORE TIGHT JEANS!

- OH, I'M SURE SOMEONE ELSE WILL HELP ME.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, MR. KRABS.

SANDY REALLY NEEDS OUR HELP.

- OKAY, EXPLAIN IT TO ME AGAIN,

BUT THIS TIME, TAKE OUT ANYTHING

THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH MONEY.

UH-HUH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

- [sighs] I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH COMPASSION,

SOMEONE WHO SELFLESSLY HELPS OTHERS

WITH NO CONCERN FOR HIS OWN SAFETY.

I NEED... A HERO.

OH, SQUIDWARD!

SANDY IS IN TERRIBLE TROUBLE.

YOU'VE GO TO HELP ME SAVE HER.

- OH, NO, SALLY'S IN TROUBLE?

- UH, SANDY.

- DON'T WORRY, SPONGEBOB.

JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE.

I'LL GET MY EMERGENCY SQUIRREL RESCUE KIT.

- RIGHT-O, MR. TENTACLES, SIR.

- JUST DON'T PANIC.

- [groans]

WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST PERSON I CAN ASK.

PLANKTON!

- WHAT?

- SANDY'S IN TROUBLE.

I NEED HELP RESCUING HER.

- I'M KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW.

- JEEPERS, IT'LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

- YEAH, UH, I'D LOVE TO HELP,

BUT I REALLY GOT TO GO.

[timer ticking]

OUCH.

- [scoffs]

WELL, I'M GOING TO GO SAVE SANDY

WHETHER ANYONE WANTS TO HELP OR NOT.

I GUESS IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, GARY.

LET'S GO.

GARY THE SNAIL,

DID YOU PLAN ON STAYING HERE WHILE SANDY IS POSSIBLY

IN TROUBLE SOMEWHERE UP THERE?

- [meows]

- SHE'S THE SQUIRREL.

- [meows] - NO, BROWN.

GARY, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO...

YOU TOO, HUH?

WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

- [snoring]

- [snoring] EH, PUDDING.

- [snoring] EH, PUDDING.

[timer ticking]

[foghorn blares]

[shouting]

- GOOD MORNING.

- SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

- SANDY'S IN TROUBLE, AND I NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP

TO SAVE HER FROM THE HORRORS OF THE RODEO.

THERE ARE CLOWNS THERE!

- SPONGEBOB, THE NEXT TIME YOU "INVITE" ME

TO ONE OF YOUR SLUMBER PARTIES,

I'M CALLING THE COPS.

AH!

[shouting]

WHAT THE...

SPONGEBOB!

- YES, SQUIDWARD?

[all grumbling]

- I AM DISGRUNTLED.

[all shouting]

- WHERE IN THE DEVIL ARE WE?

- IT'S... TEXAS.

[all screaming]

- [meows]

- WHAT'S THAT, BOY? YOU SEE SANDY?

- [meows]

- AND SHE'S... RIDING A BULLFROG?

- YEE-HAW!

- AHOY, SANDY!

- HUH?

OW!

GALL DARN IT!

YOU CITY SLICKERS MADE ME LOSE THE RODEO.

WHY ARE YOU HERE, ANYWAYS?

- TO HELP SAVE YOU FROM THIS RODEO THING.

- I DON'T NEED TO BE SAVED.

[gasps] WATCH OUT!

THAT OLD BULLFROG'S GOT A FLEA ON ITS FLANKS,

AND HE'S COMING RIGHT AT YA!

[all screaming]

[frog croaks]

- DID WE SAVE SANDY?

- NO, PATRICK, WE DIDN'T.

- DID WE MAKE ANY MONEY?

- [meows dejectedly]

- AW, CACTUS.

THAT OL' BULLFROG'S GOT SPONGEBOB.

HANG ON, OLD BUDDY.

[crowd cheering]

NEXT TIME, LEAVE THE RODEOS TO ME.

- AW, NUTS.

[lilting ukulele music]

♪