Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- ♪ SPONGEBOB

♪ SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪

[waves crashing]

- OH, BOY, JELLYFISHING!

I CAN'T WAIT.

CAN YOU, PATRICK?

- [slurping] - PATRICK?

- DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

- UGH. I SAID...

OW!

- I'M NOT SURE HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT.

- [gasps] MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY.

- [snoring]

- HEY. WE'RE STUCK HERE, REMEMBER?

- WHY IS THAT?

- BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO FILL UP THE BOATMOBILE BEFORE WE LEFT.

SEE?

- HEY, HEROES.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?

[both grunting]

- THIS IS A HEAVY PIECE OF NOTHIN'.

[both panting]

SO IS THAT IT?

- YES, THANK YOU, BOYS.

WE USUALLY DON'T DO THIS, BUT IN RETURN

FOR PUSHING THE INVISIBOAT UP ALL THOSE HILLS,

THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE.

BUT YOU MUST PROMISE NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING.

Both: OKAY.

- WHOA! - WOW!

- OOH! THE MAGIC CLAW FROM EPISODE 1582!

[gasps] MAN RAY'S POWER GLOVE!

- OOH! A PAIR OF BINOCULARS.

- YES, BOYS, THIS IS OUR LOCKER OF MEMORIES.

IT CONTAINS...

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

- [sighs]

IT CONTAINS ALL THE MEMORABILIA FROM OUR SUPERHUMAN ADVENTURES.

- WHOA! HEY, SPONGEBOB, CHECK IT OUT.

- THE DIRTY BUBBLE'S BUBBLE WAND.

- CORRECT.

- [laughs evilly]

- [laughs]

SCARED, BOYS?

- MM-HMM. - YEAH.

- WELL, DON'T BE.

- AND AS LONG AS NO ONE TOUCHES ANYTHING,

THERE'S NOTHING HERE TO BE SCARED OF.

- UNDERSTOOD.

- AND THIS IS OUR TIME MACHINE.

THIS DEVICE ALLOWS US

TO TRANSPORT INTO THE FUTURE OR PAST,

AT A DATE OR DESTINATION OF OUR CHOOSING.

- WHOA. - OOH.

- UNFORTUNATELY, THE CONSEQUENCES

OF ALTERING THE ORDER OF HISTORY ARE SO DANGEROUS,

WE'VE CHOSEN TO LEAVE IT ALONE.

SO YOU MUSTN'T TOUCH.

- HEY, THIS SNACK MACHINE TOOK MY QUARTER.

I WANT MY CRUNCHITY MUNCHITIES.

- NO!

- STUPID BOX.

[machine whirring]

YOU REALLY GOT TO GET THAT THING FIXED.

- YOU FOOL!

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?

- WELL, I LOST A QUARTER.

[all screaming]

- WHERE ARE WE?

[gasps] IT CAN'T BE.

BIKINI BOTTOM HAS AT LEAST 39 PEOPLE LIVING HERE.

MAYBE AS YOU KNEW IT,

BUT THIS IS A DIFFERENT BIKINI BOTTOM OF ANOTHER TIME.

MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TOUCHED THE TIME MACHINE

LIKE WE TOLD YOU, PATRICK, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.

HOPEFULLY WE HAVEN'T CHANGED ANYTHING WITH OUR PRESENCE.

- OOH, EVERYTHING LOOKS SO OLD-FASHIONED.

[twangy banjo music]

[sea horse whinnies]

[dramatic music and evil laughter]

[people screaming]

- [laughs evilly]

I'M READY TO RULE THE WORLD AND ITS RICHES.

WITH THIS WEAPON, NOTHING CAN STOP ME.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

- MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY?

- SORRY, MAN RAY,

BUT MY STALWART COMPANION, BARNACLE BOY, AND I

BEG TO DIFFER WITH YOU.

- YOU'VE TANGLED WITH THE WRONG END

OF THE FISH HOOK OF JUSTICE, MAN RAY.

- NOW PREPARE FOR A HEAPING HELPING

OF QUICK-DRYING TARTAR SAUCE.

- WOW, OUR BODIES WERE SO TIGHT.

- WHAT WENT WRONG?

- GAH!

- JUMPIN' JELLYFISH, MERMAID MAN.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TARTAR SAUCE?

- [burps]

GOOD THING THAT WAS AROUND. I WAS STARVING.

- CURIOUS.

COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO REFILL IT?

- [laughs evilly]

- THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT.

- PATRICK, WHAT ABOUT MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY?

- I DON'T GOT TIME FOR THAT.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING, BOYS?

- I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!

[beeping]

- WHEN ARE WE GONNA HAVE THOSE TWO

RECLASSIFIED AS VILLAINS?

- THEY LEFT US HERE!

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

EH, I'M SURE IT'LL ALL WORK OUT.

- DON'T WORRY, MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY

ARE ALWAYS HERE TO HELP THE ELDERLY.

THERE'S SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT THESE TWO, BARNACLE BOY.

I JUST CAN'T PUT MY FLIPPER ON IT.

- HEY, NEAT HAT.

- THANKS, I...

- [laughs evilly]

- LET'S GET THESE POOR, DEFENSELESS SENIORS

OUT OF HARM'S WAY.

Both: WHOA!

- THAT'S MORE LIKE IT...

BACK IN GOOD OLE PRESENT-DAY BIKINI BOTTOM.

- YES, PATRICK.

WE'RE ALL BORN IN OUR OWN PLACE AND TIME.

HELLO, FELLOW CITIZEN.

HELLO, SQUILLIAM.

- MAN RAY IS GREAT.

- YEAH.

MUST BE TAKING CARE OF HIS COMMUNITY SERVICE OBLIGATIONS.

- THAT'LL TEACH HIM TO JAYWALK.

- SAY, UH, PATRICK,

DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT OUR FAIR CITY?

- SORRY, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU

OVER THE CLATTER OF PRISON CHAINS.

- I SAID ISN'T THERE SOMETHING ODD

ABOUT BIKINI BOTTOM SINCE WE GOT BACK?

- NO.

BUT YES!

JUST LOOK AT THAT GIANT MENACING BILLBOARD.

IT'S MISSING A BOLT ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER!

- EVEN WORSE THAN THAT, PATRICK.

THE POLICE GOT NEW UNIFORMS.

- OH, NO!

WHAT DID THEY DO WITH THOSE OLD ONES?

- AND YIKES!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KRUSTY KRAB?

"THE DESIGNATED AREA WHERE YOU ARE PERMITTED

"BY MAN RAY, YOUR RULER,

TO OBTAIN SANDWICHES USING MAN RAY DOLLARS"?

DO YOU SEE THE UNDERLYING TRAGEDY IN ALL THIS?

- I'M ALL OUT OF MAN RAY DOLLARS?

- NO, PATRICK.

IT MEANS THAT WE SOMEHOW CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY

WHEN WE WENT INTO THE PAST,

AND NOW, IN THIS REALITY, MAN RAY IS RULER.

OH, WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. - BUT WHAT?

- WHAT ANY SELF-RESPECTING CITIZEN OF THE FREE WORLD

WOULD DO IN A TIME OF CRISIS:

SEE IF I STILL HAVE A JOB.

- HEY, YOU'RE NOT EATING FAST ENOUGH.

- EXCUSE ME, SQUID... WHOA.

- YES?

- [stammering]

BARNACLE BOY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- JUST TAKING STOCK OF A WASTED LIFE.

- ORDER UP!

- MERMAID MAN!

AND HE'S WEARING A HAIRNET.

- [sighs] - WHAT HAPPENED?

WHY ARE THE TWO GREATEST HEROES EVER

STUCK IN THIS GREASY SPOON,

NOT COMBATING THE EVILS OF MAN RAY?

- I LOST THE DESIRE AND THE PHYSIQUE TO FIGHT

LONG AGO, KID.

FLIPPING PATTIES IS SO MUCH EASIER ON THE JOINTS

WHEN YOU'RE MY AGE.

- WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNGER MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY?

SURELY THEY REFUSED TO SURRENDER WITHOUT A FIGHT.

- YOU GOT SPAGHETTI FOR BRAINS, KID?

WE ARETHE YOUNGER ONES.

THE OLDER ONES...

[sniffs] BLESS THEIR SOULS...

HAVE BEEN IMMORTALIZED IN THIS VERY RESTAURANT.

- I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF... YOURSELF.

- I HATE TO BREAK UP THE MEMORIAL SERVICE,

BUT WE'RE OUT OF TARTAR SAUCE OUT HERE.

- TARTAR SAUCE?

THE TOPPING THAT DESTROYED LIFE AS WE KNEW IT.

IF ONLY MY TARTAR SAUCE ATTACK HADN'T FAILED THAT DAY,

WE WOULDN'T BE LIVING IN THIS WASTELAND.

WE'RE ALREADY OUT?

- YUP.

[chomping and gulping]

CHEWY BITS.

[burps]

- I KNEW I RECOGNIZED YOU FROM SOMEWHERE.

YOU WERE THERE, AND YOU ATE THE TARTAR SAUCE ON THAT DAY!

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?

- SORRY, MERMAID MAN.

WE DIDN'T MEAN TO DESTROY YOUR LIVES

AND EVERYTHING YOU HELD DEAR.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT?

WITH YOUR HELP, OF COURSE.

- I'M NOT TEAMING UP WITH YOU TO DO JACK-DIDDLY-SQUAT.

BESIDES, MAN RAY HAS ME BY THE NECK.

OH, EVIL!

- DOES THAT MEAN THAT THE DEFEAT WAS SO TRAUMATIC

THAT IT HAS GIVEN MAN RAY A STRANGLEHOLD ON YOUR PSYCHE?

- BARNACLES, NO!

IT MEANS HE PUT THIS ELECTRO-COLLAR ON ME

THAT WON'T ALLOW ME TO LEAVE THE RESTAURANT.

- OH.

WELL, LET'S GET THAT NASTY THING OFF OF YOU, HMM?

[grunting]

- HAVEN'T YOU TWO IDIOTS DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE?

- UH! I CAN'T GET A GOOD GRIP ON IT.

MUST NEED A BETTER ANGLE. HOLD ON.

SORRY. SORRY.

HEY, PATRICK, CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND HERE?

- KEEP AWAY FROM ME.

Crash!

- TA-DA! YOU'RE FREE.

CAN WE COAX YOU AND BARNACLE BOY OUT OF RETIREMENT

TO SAVE THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?

- I SUPPOSE YOU'VE PROVEN YOUR METTLE, KID.

BUT I'LL HAVE MY EYE ON YOU TWO.

NOW, LET'S POP THAT DIRTY BUBBLE.

- ACTUALLY, WE'RE FIGHTING MAN RAY.

- OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE,

LET THE LIGHTHOUSE OF JUSTICE SHINE ON RAY MAN.

- OKAY, I SUPPOSE THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

BACK TO THE PAST, GENTS,

TO STOP YOU FROM EATING THE TARTAR SAUCE AGAIN

FOR THE FIRST TIME... HMM.

[all screaming]

[dramatic music]

- [laughs evilly]

I'M READY TO RULE THE WORLD AND ITS RICHES.

- NOT SO FAST, MAN RAY.

- WE'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

- KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF MY TARTAR SAUCE!

- IMPOSTERS!

- WHO YOU CALLIN' IMPOSTER, IMPOSTER?

I MUST PREVENT OUR TARTAR SAUCE FROM BEING EATEN

BY THAT... THAT FOOL.

- IF I WANT TO GET NEAR MY TARTAR SAUCE,

I GOT TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST.

- I'M GONNA MAKE ME EAT THOSE WORDS.

- BRING IT.

OOH!

TAKE THIS.

- OOH!

- I'LL NEVER LET YOU WIN.

- OH, YES, I WILL.

- WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS, BARNACLE BOY?

- TANGLED TIMELINE, MERMAID MAN. I'M...

- [laughs evilly]

YOU OLD COOTS PROVIDED ME THE PERFECT DISTRACTION.

NOW PREPARE TO BE DISAPPEARED.

- SOUNDS GOOD ON PAPER, YOU PURVEYOR OF PURE EVIL.

BUT FORTUNATELY, WE ALL KNOW

WHAT HAPPENS TO PAPER UNDERWATER.

BARNACLE BOY, THE TARTAR SAUCE.

- OOH! - OOH!

- WOW, I'VE NEVER EATEN THAT MUCH TARTAR SAUCE.

- YES, YOU HAVE.

- WELL, IT SURE AIN'T SITTIN' RIGHT.

- [laughs evilly]

FOOLISH FOOLS!

ONCE AGAIN, YOUR BUFFOONERY HAS GIVEN ME VICTORY.

[cackles]

OH, I'M GOING TO SAVOR THIS.

IT'S NOT EVERY DAY

I GET TO DEFEAT MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY

THREE TIMES OVER.

- PATRICK, DON'T EAT THE TARTAR SAUCE!

- HA! YOU'RE TOO LATE.

YOUR FAT FRIEND BEAT YOU TO IT.

NOW, PREPARE TO TASTE LASER.

Both: WHAAAA!

- SO HOW...

- I TOLD YOU WE HAD TO GO BACK FURTHER.

- UH...

- UP, UP, AND AWAY!

- NOW, PATRICK!

- I CAN'T GET MY HEAD AROUND THIS.

WHERE ARE THEY ALL COMING FROM?

ANOTHER MACHINE?

- [laughs]

I TOOK CARE OF YOUR BLASTED TIME MACHINE.

[laughs evilly]

- OH, I'VE GOT TO SIT DOWN AND THINK THIS THROUGH.

- GOTCHA!

YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR THINKING

IN THE STONY LONESOME.

- I'M SORRY. DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

I'M STILL TRYING TO COMPREHEND WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE.

- IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE, REALLY.

YOU WERE DEFEATED BY A CADRE

OF CONTINUUM-CRUISING CRIME STOPPERS.

THANK YOU, SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK.

All: YOU'RE WELCOME.

All: WHOA! HI, THERE.

- HELLO. - HELLO.

- HELLO.

- WE JUST WANTED TO COME BACK AND REVISIT THE DAY

THAT EVIL WAS DEFEATED FOREVER.

- HOW YOU DOING?

- WHOA!

- HELLO. - HELLO.

- HELLO.

- PATRICK, GUESS WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!

- OH, WHAT? - THIS.

- "MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY LOST EPISODE"?

STICK IT IN!

[adventure music]

- ♪ FASTER THAN LIGHT

♪ THEY'RE THERE TO STOP CRIME ♪

♪ IT'S MERMAID MAN

♪ AND BARNACLE BOY both: YEAH!

- ♪ IF YOU'RE IN A JAM...

♪

♪ IT'S MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY ♪

♪

Male announcer: THE ADVENTURES

OF MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY.

TONIGHT'S EPISODE: "THE SECRET MEETING."

DEEP IN THE MER-CAVE,

SOMETHING STRANGE TAKES MERMAID MAN'S ATTENTION.

- THE DIRTY BUBBLE?

WHAT'S HE DOING AT THE BUS STOP?

- LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT A ONE-WAY TICKET

TO BIKINI BOTTOM,

AND THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THE DIRTY BUBBLE COULD BE UP TO

IN BIKINI BOTTOM, BARNACLE BOY.

- THAT'S RIGHT, MERMAID MAN.

Both: EVIL!

- [cackling]

announcer: THE TERRIBLE MAN RAY.

- I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

- I WOULDN'T MISS THIS FOR THE WORLD, DIRTY.

[laughs]

announcer: THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL CRUSTACEANS,

IT'S JUMBO SHRIMP.

IT'S THE ATOMIC FLOUNDER, THE ABOMINATION

OF A NUCLEAR EXPERIMENT GONE HORRIBLY WRONG.

AND THE TERROR OF THE SEWERS, THE MAN-EATING SINISTER SLUG.

- [laughs] WE JOIN FORCES AT LAST.

- IT'S WORSE THAN I COULD HAVE IMAGINED...

A TEAM-UP.

- WELCOME TO THE BGATFBC.

[evil laughter]

- APRIL 3RD, 12:00 NOON?

THAT'S TOMORROW.

- HOLY...

- HEY.

- DON'T WORRY. I CAN FIX IT.

[gasps]

- GRIPING GUPPIES, MERMAID MAN.

WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

- NOT SO FAST, LITTLE FLIPPER.

WE'RE FAR TOO OUTMANNED.

BUT FEAR NOT.

I'M ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF EVIL.

Announcer: OUR HERO OF THE BRINE PUTS OUT AN URGENT CALL.

- TO THE OCEAN'S GREATEST HEROES.

- [unintelligible speech]

- YES, I CAN HOLD.

Announcer: MEANWHILE A SINISTER HORDE

CONGREGATES OUTSIDE HOTEL EVIL.

- RIGHT THIS WAY, GENTLEMEN.

- HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN HERE?

- HUH?

OH, I'M DREADFULLY SORRY, GENTLEMEN.

YOU MUST BE IN THE WRONG ROOM.

THIS ROOM IS RESERVED FOR THE BGATFBC.

- THAT'S FUNNY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS SET ASIDE FOR THE IJLSA.

- IJLSA?

WHAT IN CORAL CAVERNS IS THAT?

All: MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW, BEFORE YOU HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE,

SAY HELLO TO SOME FRIENDS.

THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND.

- GREET THE HOTTEST CRIME FIGHTER IN THE COUNTRY,

PROFESSOR MAGMA.

- THE ELUSIVE MISS APPEAR.

AND THE PYRITE PONDERER, WITH HIS HAIRNET OF KNOWLEDGE.

- DO WE REALLY EXIST?

- TOGETHER, WE ARE...

THE INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE LODGE OF SUPER ACQUAINTANCES.

- LET'S GET 'EM, BOYS.

- DO NOT TUSSLE WITH THE BGATFBC.

- OOH!

- VIOLENCE RESOLVES NOTHING.

- GOOD NIGHT, BALLOON BOY.

[laughs]

- PROFESSOR MAGMA, CATCH.

- STEP ASIDE, YOU COPIOUS COD.

MY BEEF IS WITH THE BUBBLE.

- CAREFUL, BARNACLE BOY. HE'S GOT NUCLEAR TOUCH.

- RAA!

- NUCLEAR TOUCH!

[both gasp]

- I CAN'T WATCH.

- FRACTURING FURNITURE!

HANG TIGHT, BUDDY.

HANG IN THERE, MY DARING DEPUTY.

- YOUR DARING DEPUTY IS NAPPING RIGHT NOW.

BUT I'D BE HAPPY TO PASS ALONG THE MESSAGE...

IF HE EVER WAKES UP, THAT IS.

HA... HA... HA.

- SWIRLING SHRIMP!

THAT FIEND HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF BARNACLE BOY.

- WHAT DO WE DO, MERMAID MAN?

- I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

I BELIEVE IF THE ATOMIC FLOUNDER

WERE TO TOUCH THAT WRETCHED GROWTH,

IT WOULD CAUSE A CHAIN REACTION,

REVERSING THE POLARITY AT THE MOLECULAR LEVEL,

RESTORING BARNACLE BOY TO HIS NATURAL STATE.

DOES THAT SOUND ABOUT RIGHT, PROFESSOR MAGMA?

- [gurgling]

- YOU'LL NEVER DO IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE MOXIE.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, CUR.

SHIELD!

[laughs]

- LOOK OUT, MERMAID MAN!

- [gasps]

both: YAY!

- THE SINISTER SLUG'S SLIME HAS YOU STATIONARY AND STIFF,

WHICH MEANS YOUR TIME IS UP, FRIEND.

- NOT NUCLEAR TOOOOOOUCH!

- GREAT GRAVY! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

- I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER.

NOW LET'S TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

- PLEASE, UTILIZE MY HAIRNET OF KNOWLEDGE

FOR THIS ENDEAVOR.

- THANK YOU, PONDERER.

- NO, NO! YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

- YOU REALLY THOUGHT

YOU WERE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT, DIDN'T YOU?

FESS UP, VILLAINS. WHAT'S THE BGATFBC?

- IT STANDS FOR "THE BAD GUYS ALL TOGETHER FOR BOOK CLUB."

- BOOK CLUB?

YOU MEAN YOU WEREN'T

GOING TO DESTROY A LIBRARY OR SOMETHING?

- WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? WE'RE ALMOST TO THE NEW CHAPTER.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, LOCK US UP FOR READING?

- YEAH, YOU CAN'T IMPRISON US FOR READING.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

REMEMBER, KIDS,

NO ONE CAN IMPRISON YOU FOR READING.

- HEY, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHY ARE THOSE SQUIGGLES ON THE SCREEN?

- THOSE ARE CALLED "END CREDITS," PATRICK.

- END CREDITS?

BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO END.

- THAT'S WHY NEPTUNE GAVE US THE REWIND BUTTON.

- THANK YOU, NEPTUNE!

[lilting ukulele music]

♪