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1
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,451
- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
2
00:00:03,555 --> 00:00:05,212
All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
3
00:00:05,315 --> 00:00:06,696
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
4
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,594
All: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
5
00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:11,701
- ♪ OHH...
6
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,806
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
7
00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:15,981
All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
8
00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:17,845
- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
9
00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:19,709
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
10
00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,883
- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
11
00:00:21,987 --> 00:00:23,575
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
12
00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:25,887
- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
13
00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:27,786
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- READY?
14
00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:29,788
All: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
15
00:00:29,891 --> 00:00:31,721
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
16
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:33,688
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
17
00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,138
- SPONGEBOB
18
00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:37,244
SQUAREPANTS!
19
00:00:37,347 --> 00:00:39,729
[laughing]
20
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:42,007
♪
21
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:43,457
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:45,183 --> 00:00:48,117
[jaunty ukulele music]
23
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:54,399
♪
24
00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:57,402
- [snoring]
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,164
- [snoring]
26
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,515
- ALL OF THE MOST
INTELLIGENT PROGRAMMING
27
00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:09,586
STARTS BEFORE 5:00 A.M.
28
00:01:14,695 --> 00:01:15,592
NO, NO, NO.
29
00:01:15,696 --> 00:01:16,696
TAKE YOUR TIME.
30
00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:18,078
IT'S WORTH THE WAIT.
31
00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:21,839
[clapping]
32
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:27,225
- YOUR SOURCE
FOR THE LATEST IN EXOTIC PETS,
33
00:01:27,328 --> 00:01:30,159
COLLECTIBLE
JEWEL-ENCRUSTED MITTENS...
34
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:31,677
[doorbell rings]
35
00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:33,955
AND CLASSICAL DOORBELL CHIMES...
36
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:37,097
- HOW SOPHISTICATED.
37
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,719
- HAS BEEN CANCELLED.
38
00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:42,687
- OH, YEAH.
39
00:01:42,757 --> 00:01:44,138
I HAVEN'T MADE THE COFFEE YET.
40
00:01:44,242 --> 00:01:47,383
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY
CANCEL FAB AND FANCY?
41
00:01:47,486 --> 00:01:50,040
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE
MORE ENRICHING?
42
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,421
[slurping]
43
00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:53,009
[jarring heavy metal music]
44
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,113
GAH!
45
00:01:54,183 --> 00:02:02,183
♪
46
00:02:03,537 --> 00:02:05,401
[explosion]
47
00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:12,753
- HEY, I'M ZEUS,
THE GUITAR LORD.
48
00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:14,927
I DON'T HAVE A GUITAR YET,
49
00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:18,414
BUT IF I DID, I WOULD WANT
A REALLY KILLER ONE,
50
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:21,313
LIKE THIS.
51
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:22,866
- [scoffs]
52
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:25,524
HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING ABOUT MUSIC.
53
00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,319
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
54
00:02:27,423 --> 00:02:30,391
- SO HERE'S MY NUMBER
IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT...
55
00:02:30,495 --> 00:02:32,635
[phone rings]
56
00:02:32,738 --> 00:02:33,738
HELLO?
57
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,500
- WHERE IS MY FAB AND FANCY?
58
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:37,122
- YOUR WHAT?
59
00:02:37,226 --> 00:02:39,745
- I'M QUITE CERTAIN
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW CULTURE
60
00:02:39,849 --> 00:02:41,644
IF IT BIT YOU ON THE GUITAR.
61
00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:45,026
- UM, I DON'T HAVE A GUITAR.
62
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:47,684
- DO THEY GIVE A SHOW
TO JUST ANYBODY OVER THERE?
63
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:48,927
- PRETTY MUCH.
64
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:51,136
MY MOM GAVE ME THIS ONE
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
65
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,241
- REALLY?
66
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,552
- YEAH.
67
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,554
I WANTED A GUITAR
OR A STAR NAMED AFTER ME,
68
00:02:55,658 --> 00:02:57,418
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
69
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,282
I GUESS A TV SHOW IS COOL.
70
00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,422
- IT'S THAT EASY?
71
00:03:01,526 --> 00:03:03,528
[touch-tones beeping]
72
00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:05,495
HELLO, BIKINI BOTTOM
PUBLIC ACCESS?
73
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:06,783
GIVE ME A TV SHOW!
GIVE ME A TV SHOW!
74
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:09,499
I WANT A SHOW!
75
00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:12,433
COME ON, JUST A FEW MORE
MINUTES, SQUIDDIE,
76
00:03:12,537 --> 00:03:16,403
AND IT'LL BE YOUR TURN
TO BASK IN THE LIMELIGHT.
77
00:03:16,506 --> 00:03:17,680
[laughs]
78
00:03:17,783 --> 00:03:19,785
- OH, YEAH.
79
00:03:19,889 --> 00:03:22,616
OH, LIMELIGHT BASKIN'.
80
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,204
BASKIN' IN THE LIMELIGHT.
81
00:03:24,307 --> 00:03:26,585
[laughs]
82
00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:28,380
OH, GOOD TIMES.
83
00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:31,038
GOOD TIMES.
84
00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:33,937
SO WHERE WILL SAID BASKING
TAKE PLACE?
85
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,319
- LIKE I WOULD TELL YOU.
HMPH.
86
00:03:36,423 --> 00:03:39,080
[thinking] ALTHOUGH
I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE
87
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:42,532
TO HAVE ENOUGH GLORY
TO RUB IT IN SOMEONE'S FACE,
88
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:43,775
ANYONE'S FACE...
89
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:48,745
EVEN THAT FACE.
90
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:51,127
OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU,
91
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,431
BUT THE LAST THING
I WOULD WANT
92
00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:54,648
IS FOR YOU TO SHOW UP,
SO PLUG YOUR EARS.
93
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:56,339
Splat!
94
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:59,100
WELL, I DON'T WANT TO TOOT
MY OWN WHISTLE, BUT...
95
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:00,412
WAIT, NO!
96
00:04:00,516 --> 00:04:03,726
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I MEAN TO DO.
97
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:06,694
[muffled mumbling]
98
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,284
[bell rings]
99
00:04:10,388 --> 00:04:11,906
OH!
100
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,322
- SAY AGAIN, SQUIDWARD.
101
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,703
- [laughing]
102
00:04:20,605 --> 00:04:23,849
- WITH YOUR HOST,
SQUIDWARD TENTACLES.
103
00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:24,953
- GREETINGS.
104
00:04:24,988 --> 00:04:26,714
I'M SQUIDWARD TENTACLES,
105
00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:28,751
YOUR HOST OF SQUIDWARD CHAT.
106
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:34,170
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
107
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,622
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING SOMETHING
NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART:
108
00:04:37,725 --> 00:04:40,694
UNDERAPPRECIATED ARTISTS
LIKE MYSELF.
109
00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:43,144
- SQUIDWARD'S ON TV?
110
00:04:43,248 --> 00:04:46,113
AAH!
111
00:04:46,216 --> 00:04:47,321
SQUIDWARD!
112
00:04:47,425 --> 00:04:48,425
SQUIDWARD!
113
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:50,393
[panting]
114
00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:53,431
[knocking]
115
00:04:55,053 --> 00:04:58,574
SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE ON TV.
116
00:04:58,677 --> 00:04:59,957
NO, REALLY, SQUIDWARD,
COME LOOK.
117
00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:00,852
- I KNOW I'M ON TV.
118
00:05:00,955 --> 00:05:03,233
SEE THE CAMERA?
119
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,822
YOU'RE ON TV TOO.
120
00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,928
- TV?
121
00:05:08,031 --> 00:05:10,344
[laughing]
122
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:11,725
- MORON.
123
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:14,866
AS I WAS SAYING,
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
124
00:05:14,969 --> 00:05:15,867
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING...
125
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,282
- WOW!
126
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:19,560
- SO I RAN TO TELL SQUIDWARD
THAT HE WAS ON TV,
127
00:05:19,664 --> 00:05:21,355
AND HE TOLD ME
THAT I WAS ON TV.
128
00:05:21,459 --> 00:05:22,632
NOW YOU'RE ON TV.
129
00:05:22,736 --> 00:05:24,324
- I'M ON TV?
130
00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:33,678
- THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
131
00:05:33,781 --> 00:05:35,714
- I'M NOT ON TV.
132
00:05:37,716 --> 00:05:40,719
SPONGEBOB, I WENT HOME
AND TURNED ON MY TV,
133
00:05:40,823 --> 00:05:43,308
BUT I WASN'T ON THE TV.
134
00:05:43,412 --> 00:05:45,310
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME,
SPONGEBOB?
135
00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:46,794
WHY?
136
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:48,762
- PATRICK,
JUST HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
137
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:49,970
- IT VARIES.
138
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:52,144
- IF YOU WANT TO BE ON TV,
139
00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:55,147
YOU HAVE TO BE
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.
140
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:56,735
- OH.
141
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,910
I GET IT.
142
00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:00,808
[giggling]
143
00:06:00,912 --> 00:06:02,500
HI, TV PEOPLE!
144
00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:05,088
AH!
145
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,436
MY MOUTH IS ON TV!
146
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,577
- THIS IS DISGUSTING.
147
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,545
- [slurping and chewing]
148
00:06:15,823 --> 00:06:16,823
SPONGEBOB!
149
00:06:16,859 --> 00:06:20,414
YOU GOT TO TRY THIS!
150
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:23,244
[both laughing]
151
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,661
- PATRICK, SPONGEBOB,
152
00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:27,594
GET OFF MY CAMERA.
153
00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:31,943
[groans]
154
00:06:32,046 --> 00:06:33,600
WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?
155
00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:35,084
- DOUBT IT.
156
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,326
- [sighs]
157
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,190
IF YOU LIKE THE CAMERA
SO MUCH,
158
00:06:38,294 --> 00:06:40,400
WHY DON'T YOU
BE THE CAMERAMAN?
159
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,643
- CAMERAMAN?
160
00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:45,612
- THAT MEANS YOU TAKE
ALL THE PRETTY PICTURES.
161
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:46,578
- ALL RIGHT!
162
00:06:46,682 --> 00:06:47,821
- WHOO! WHOO!
163
00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:49,616
OOH, LET ME DO SOMETHING TOO,
PLEASE?
164
00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:52,135
- FINE, YOU CAN BE
THE SOUND MAN.
165
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:53,309
- SOUND MAN.
166
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,311
- IMBECILES.
167
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,107
TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE
TALKING ABOUT...
168
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:01,282
WHY ISN'T THE CAMERA ON ME?
169
00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:04,872
NO, I'M THE ONE TALKING!
170
00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:06,426
[grumbling]
171
00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:07,530
I'M RIGHT HERE.
172
00:07:07,634 --> 00:07:08,738
AHEM!
173
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:10,844
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
174
00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:13,985
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING
THE UNDERAPPRECIATED ARTS.
175
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:16,263
PATRICK, I'M DOWN HERE.
176
00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:20,129
AS I WAS SAYING,
TODAY WE'LL BE...
177
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,131
TODAY...
178
00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:26,169
[grumbling]
179
00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:27,895
- UPSY-DAISY!
180
00:07:27,999 --> 00:07:29,345
DOWNSY-WOWNSY!
181
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,036
UPSY-DAISY!
182
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:32,486
DOWNSY-WOWNSY!
183
00:07:32,590 --> 00:07:36,628
- [growling]
184
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:38,596
[grunting and scuffling]
185
00:07:41,322 --> 00:07:43,186
NOW, THEN.
186
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:46,466
I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU
ABOUT MY FABULOUS...
187
00:07:46,569 --> 00:07:47,777
[grunts]
188
00:07:47,881 --> 00:07:50,366
[choking]
189
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,678
OH.
190
00:07:51,781 --> 00:07:55,371
SPONGE... OW!
191
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,754
- IT'S HEAVY.
192
00:07:58,857 --> 00:07:59,893
THANKS,
193
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,066
BUT IT ITCHES.
194
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,551
- I GOT TO GO POTTY!
195
00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:04,449
- SQUIDWARD HAS HIS OWN TV SHOW?
196
00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,796
- WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE
TO HOLD IT, PATRICK.
197
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:09,592
NOW, IF THERE ARE
NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS...
198
00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:11,698
- EAT AT THE KRUSTY KRAB,
199
00:08:11,801 --> 00:08:13,838
HOME OF THE ORIGINAL
KRABBY PATTY,
200
00:08:13,941 --> 00:08:16,668
AND REMEMBER,
WE CHANGE OUR GREASE MONTHLY.
201
00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:17,945
- OUT!
202
00:08:18,049 --> 00:08:19,464
[groans]
203
00:08:19,568 --> 00:08:20,879
[sighs]
204
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:21,983
- ♪ KRUSTY KRAB
205
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:23,088
♪ KRUSTY KRAB
206
00:08:23,192 --> 00:08:25,056
♪ WE DON'T JUST WANT YOU
207
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,368
♪ WE WANT YOUR MONEY TOO
208
00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:28,715
- WHEE, DOGGY!
209
00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:31,165
I CAN LINE DANCE
BETTER THAN THAT.
210
00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:34,030
YEE-HAW!
211
00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:37,551
- DADDY, I'M BORROWING
YOUR WALLET!
212
00:08:37,655 --> 00:08:38,863
LINE DANCING?
213
00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:40,174
EW.
214
00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:42,038
THAT IS SO LAME.
215
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:45,594
WHAT THEY NEED
IS MY WAY COOL CHEER ROUTINE.
216
00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:50,081
GIVE ME A "K"!
217
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:51,876
- OH, PLEASE.
218
00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:54,982
I CAN CAUSE FAR MORE
COLLATERAL DAMAGE THAN THAT.
219
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:57,467
KAREN, WHERE'D YOU PUT
MY DEATH RAY?
220
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,504
- GO, TEAM! GO!
221
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:01,195
GO, TEAM! GO!
222
00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:02,162
- [laughs menacingly]
223
00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:03,784
- GO, TEAM! GO!
224
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:05,303
[zapping]
225
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:06,406
[explosion]
226
00:09:06,442 --> 00:09:07,339
- [laughing]
227
00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:08,651
MY SHORTS ARE WET!
228
00:09:08,755 --> 00:09:10,342
- FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
229
00:09:10,446 --> 00:09:12,241
FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
230
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,070
FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
231
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:15,209
[zap]
232
00:09:15,313 --> 00:09:17,418
- EAT AT THE CHUM BUCKET
OR PERISH!
233
00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:19,351
[laughs]
234
00:09:19,455 --> 00:09:21,422
- ♪ KRUSTY KRAB,
THE KRUSTY KRAB ♪
235
00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:22,941
♪ EAT AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
236
00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:24,460
- NO!
237
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,703
MY SHOW!
238
00:09:25,806 --> 00:09:28,637
[sniffling and sobbing]
239
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:32,848
- YOU SEEM TENSE.
240
00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:33,951
- [groans]
241
00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:35,021
CUT THAT OUT.
242
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:35,989
THAT'S IT!
243
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:38,336
EVERYONE OUT!
244
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:39,855
WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, HUH,
245
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,304
SOME KIND OF HOUSEWARMING?
246
00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:43,824
- DID SOMEBODY SAY HOUSEWARMING?
247
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:46,586
HEY, EVERYONE,
IT'S A HOUSEWARMING!
248
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:49,589
[crowd clamoring]
249
00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:56,043
[brakes squeak]
250
00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:58,287
- GET OFF MY SET!
251
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,704
THIS IS NOT WORKING!
252
00:10:01,808 --> 00:10:07,020
- ACTUALLY, I'D SAY
THE SHOW IS DOING JUST FINE,
253
00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:10,402
AT LEAST ACCORDING
TO OUR LATEST RATINGS.
254
00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:12,197
[laughs]
255
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,647
[coughs]
256
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:15,097
[clears throat]
257
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,341
THIS IS ACTUALLY A LOT
BY PUBLIC ACCESS STANDARDS.
258
00:10:18,445 --> 00:10:23,139
EVERYONE IS WORKING OUT,
EXCEPT FOR YOU,
259
00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:24,451
YOU,
260
00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:25,694
YOU,
261
00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:26,695
AND YOU.
262
00:10:26,798 --> 00:10:27,798
- ME?
263
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:34,806
- AND NOW BIKINI BOTTOM'S
TOP PUBLIC ACCESS SHOW
264
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,497
FOR THE LAST 20 WEEKS,
265
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:39,052
SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE PARTY,
266
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:41,192
WITH YOUR HOST,
267
00:10:41,295 --> 00:10:45,265
ZEUS, THE GUITAR LORD.
268
00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:47,923
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
BIKINI BOTTOM.
269
00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:50,960
ARE YOU READY TO PARTY
SQUIDWARD STYLE?
270
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:53,825
[cheers and applause]
271
00:10:53,929 --> 00:10:56,656
THANK YOU
FOR MAKING US NUMBER ONE,
272
00:10:56,759 --> 00:11:00,970
BECAUSE I WAS FINALLY ABLE
TO GET A NEW GUITAR!
273
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:02,834
THANKS, SQUIDWARD!
274
00:11:02,938 --> 00:11:04,491
- [growls]
275
00:11:04,594 --> 00:11:07,632
- LET'S PARTY!
276
00:11:07,736 --> 00:11:10,808
[cheers and applause]
277
00:11:10,911 --> 00:11:13,880
[hard rock music]
278
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:21,784
♪
279
00:11:26,237 --> 00:11:28,446
- [laughs evilly]
280
00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:31,483
[zapping]
281
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,901
- KEEP IT DOWN!
282
00:11:35,004 --> 00:11:36,488
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
283
00:11:36,592 --> 00:11:37,697
[yells]
284
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,908
♪
285
00:11:43,841 --> 00:11:46,775
[jaunty ukulele music]
286
00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:52,194
♪
287
00:11:55,611 --> 00:11:57,924
- THE COAST LOOKS CLEAR.
288
00:11:58,027 --> 00:11:59,615
[door slams]
289
00:12:02,445 --> 00:12:03,653
- HI, SQUIDWARD!
290
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:04,896
- [groans]
291
00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:13,525
- TODAY I FEEL LIKE
DOING SOME DANCING!
292
00:12:13,629 --> 00:12:14,872
- THAT'S FUNNY.
293
00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:17,702
EVEN A BARNACLE KNOWS
YOU NEED MUSIC TO DANCE.
294
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:20,567
- OH, I GOT MUSIC, FRIEND,
295
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:22,189
IN MY MIND.
296
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:23,604
[upbeat surf music]
297
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,089
[upbeat ukulele music]
298
00:12:25,192 --> 00:12:28,540
OH, I LOVE THIS SONG.
299
00:12:28,644 --> 00:12:30,232
HERE I GO!
300
00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:33,614
♪
301
00:12:33,718 --> 00:12:37,722
- THAT IS THE STUPIDEST
DANCE MOVE I'VE EVER SEEN.
302
00:12:37,826 --> 00:12:39,966
- WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET?
303
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:46,179
[upbeat accordion music]
304
00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:54,118
♪
305
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,193
[whistles]
306
00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:02,229
- [groans]
307
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,817
[grumbles]
308
00:13:10,651 --> 00:13:11,791
thud!
309
00:13:11,894 --> 00:13:12,894
Crunch!
310
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,440
- YOUR KRABBY PATTY, MA'AM.
311
00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:42,994
NOW EAT IT, SWALLOW IT,
AND CHEW IT DOWN.
312
00:13:43,098 --> 00:13:44,893
- OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
DARLING,
313
00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:46,895
AND YOUR DANCE MOVES
ARE PRETTY COOL TOO.
314
00:13:46,998 --> 00:13:48,689
- REALLY?
YOU LIKE MY DANCING?
315
00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:49,863
- THAT'S RIGHT, KID.
316
00:13:49,967 --> 00:13:51,327
YOU GOT THE DAZZLE,
DAZZLE, DAZZLE.
317
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:53,256
I LOVE HOW YOU DID THAT SHUFFLE
INTO THE MOONSAULT
318
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,764
AND THEN STUCK THE LANDING.
319
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,974
- WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE
OF YOU TO SAY.
320
00:13:57,077 --> 00:13:59,908
- WAIT.
I'M NOT FINISHED SPEAKING WORDS.
321
00:14:00,011 --> 00:14:01,219
I'M A HIGH-CLASS TALENT AGENT,
322
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:03,152
AND I WANT TO INVITE YOU
TO AN AUDITION.
323
00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:05,914
I HAVE A VERY TALENTED CLIENT
WHO NEEDS A BACKUP DANCER,
324
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,777
AND YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
325
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,815
COME DOWN TO MY DANCE STUDIO
TOMORROW AT NOON.
326
00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:13,645
YOU'RE GOING PLACES, KID.
327
00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:15,993
- WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP DANCING?
328
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:18,788
- NO, I CAN'T STOP DANCING NOW,
SQUIDWARD.
329
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,446
I HAVE TO PRACTICE
FOR MY BIG AUDITION TOMORROW.
330
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:23,793
- YOU GOT A DANCE AUDITION?
331
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,297
- THAT'S RIGHT,
SO I GOT TO PRACTICE
332
00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:26,866
AS MUCH AS I CAN
BEFORE TOMORROW.
333
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,039
GOT A DANCE AUDITION.
334
00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:30,593
- THAT IDIOT
HAS A DANCE AUDITION?
335
00:14:30,697 --> 00:14:32,354
HE DOESN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING
336
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,494
ABOUT THE SUBTLE INTRICACIES
OF DANCE.
337
00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:35,597
[sighs]
338
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,531
LET HIM PRACTICE TILL HE DROPS.
339
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:39,361
HE'S NEVER GONNA GET THAT PART.
340
00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:41,397
THAT'S IT!
341
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:44,573
HE'LL JUST HAVE TO PRACTICE
TILL HE DROPS.
342
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,851
WHEN HE DOES, I'LL BE THERE,
343
00:14:46,955 --> 00:14:50,510
ALL LEOTARDED UP
AND READY TO SHOW MY STUFF.
344
00:14:50,613 --> 00:14:51,476
OH, SPONGEBOB!
345
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:52,892
SPONGEBOB, WAIT.
346
00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:56,412
SPONGEBOB, I MEAN,
I SUPPOSE I COULD TAKE YOU
347
00:14:56,516 --> 00:15:00,416
UNDER MY TUTELAGE, YOU KNOW,
SHOW YOU A FEW MOVES.
348
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,453
- UNDER YOUR TUTELAGE, REALLY?
YOU MEAN IT?
349
00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:05,111
- BUT YOU MUST DO
EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.
350
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:06,353
GOT THAT?
351
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:09,736
- I AM DANCE PUTTY
IN YOUR HANDS.
352
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:11,703
- HMM.
353
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:15,949
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
SQUIDWARD?
354
00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:18,538
- OH, UM, JUST
A PHYSICAL ASSESSMENT
355
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:21,921
I DO WITH ALL MY NEW PUPILS,
HEH-HEH.
356
00:15:22,024 --> 00:15:23,681
YEAH, I'D SAY,
JUDGING FROM THE CONDITION
357
00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:25,648
OF THOSE FLABBY ANKLES...
358
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,409
- FLABBY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
359
00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:29,342
YOU'LL NEED
SOME PHYSICAL CONDITIONING
360
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:32,517
BEFORE YOU EVER SET FOOT
ON A DANCE PARQUET.
361
00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:36,245
I WANT YOU TO RUN TO THE TOP
OF OYSTER PEAK AND BACK.
362
00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:38,799
- OH, ANYTHING TO GET RID
OF THESE FLABBY ANKLES OF MINE.
363
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,663
- BY THE TIME
THAT IDIOT GETS BACK,
364
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,976
HE'LL BE TOO TIRED TO DANCE,
HEH-HEH.
365
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,540
WHAT... WHAT...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
366
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:45,772
- I'M BACK FROM MOUNT OYSTER.
367
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,636
HERE, GOT THIS FOR YOU
AT THE GIFT SHOP.
368
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,327
- FINE.
369
00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:52,020
LET'S MOVE ON
TO OUR FIRST DANCE LESSON.
370
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:55,230
I WANT YOU TO MOONWALK
ON THIS TREADMILL
371
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,371
WHILE I READ
THIS ENTIRE NOVEL.
372
00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:03,514
HUH?
373
00:16:03,617 --> 00:16:04,791
WHAT, IS HE STILL AT IT?
374
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:05,792
HUH?
375
00:16:05,895 --> 00:16:07,828
[treadmill beeping]
376
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:10,003
[explosion]
MY TREADMILL!
377
00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:12,247
- YOU KNOW, SQUIDWARD,
EXERCISING'S FUN AND ALL,
378
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:14,249
BUT WHEN AM I GONNA LEARN
SOME DANCING?
379
00:16:14,352 --> 00:16:17,355
- ALL RIGHT,
YOU WANT TO LEARN SOME DANCING?
380
00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:20,013
I'LL SHOW YOU DANCING!
381
00:16:20,117 --> 00:16:22,188
YOU KNOW WHAT GETS PEOPLE GOING?
382
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,465
RIBBONS!
383
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:28,056
♪
384
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:29,057
- WHOO!
385
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,681
- NOW, DO JUST AS I DID.
386
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,614
- LIKE THIS?
387
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:37,755
♪
388
00:16:37,858 --> 00:16:39,446
[whip cracks]
389
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,483
[helicopter rotors whirring]
390
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,657
[dinosaur roars]
391
00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:44,865
[woman giggling]
392
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:46,833
- PHBBBBT!
393
00:16:51,838 --> 00:16:54,737
[grumbling]
394
00:16:58,465 --> 00:17:00,295
[crashing]
395
00:17:00,398 --> 00:17:01,710
- YOW!
396
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,782
LIKE THAT, SQUIDWARD?
397
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:06,749
- OKAY, TRY THIS.
398
00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:10,201
IT'S SIMPLE
AND A REAL SHOWSTOPPER.
399
00:17:10,305 --> 00:17:12,031
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION.
400
00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:15,103
[upbeat orchestral music]
401
00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:22,041
♪
402
00:17:22,144 --> 00:17:23,594
NOW YOU.
403
00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,596
- GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
ARE YOU SURE?
404
00:17:25,699 --> 00:17:27,770
- YOU WANT TO ACE THE AUDITION,
DON'T YOU?
405
00:17:27,874 --> 00:17:29,876
- WELL, YES, BUT...
- THEN DO IT.
406
00:17:33,293 --> 00:17:41,094
♪
407
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,702
[vacuum humming]
408
00:18:02,805 --> 00:18:10,641
♪
409
00:18:16,164 --> 00:18:18,062
[horse whinnies]
410
00:18:21,238 --> 00:18:24,137
[tapping]
411
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:28,624
UGH!
412
00:18:39,394 --> 00:18:41,913
ENOUGH!
413
00:18:42,017 --> 00:18:43,225
LISTEN, YOU PEA BRAIN,
414
00:18:43,329 --> 00:18:45,400
WE ARE GONNA KEEP WORKING
ON YOUR ROUTINE
415
00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:47,022
UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.
416
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,818
AND I DON'T CARE
HOW LONG IT TAKES.
417
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,615
NOW, WATCH CLOSELY.
418
00:18:53,718 --> 00:18:55,444
AND A-ONE
419
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:57,274
AND A-TWO
420
00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:59,690
AND AHA!
421
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:01,001
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?
422
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,105
- YES, SIR.
423
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,625
- THEN GO AND PRACTICE IT,
424
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:07,663
AND DON'T STOP UNTIL
YOU'VE DONE EXACTLY AS I DID.
425
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,458
- AND A-ONE
AND A-TWO
426
00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:10,563
AND A... UGH!
427
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,185
NO.
428
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,187
AND A-ONE AND A-TWO
AND A... DAH!
429
00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,775
NOPE.
430
00:19:15,878 --> 00:19:19,054
- REMEMBER, DON'T STOP
TILL YOU'VE DONE IT RIGHT.
431
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,159
- RIGHT, SQUIDWARD.
432
00:19:20,262 --> 00:19:21,643
AND A-ONE
433
00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:22,851
AND A-TWO
434
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,024
AND A-UGH!
435
00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:25,302
NOPE.
436
00:19:25,405 --> 00:19:26,682
Thud!
437
00:19:26,786 --> 00:19:27,821
Thud!
438
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:29,375
- [yawns]
439
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:30,755
[lips smacking]
440
00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:32,205
EH, BETTER GO CHECK
441
00:19:32,309 --> 00:19:36,209
ON THE LITTLE YELLOW
SEA MONKEY'S PROGRESS.
442
00:19:36,313 --> 00:19:38,936
WELL, SPONGEBOB,
HAVE YOU LEARNED THE MOVES?
443
00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:40,351
AND A-ONE
AND A-TWO
444
00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:41,455
AND A...
445
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:42,388
Thud!
446
00:19:42,491 --> 00:19:43,665
- AW, COME ON, NOW.
447
00:19:43,768 --> 00:19:45,460
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU?
448
00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:48,117
WE'VE GOT ONE DAY, SPONGEBOB.
449
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,533
- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
450
00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:50,465
- LET'S GO.
LET'S GO.
451
00:19:50,568 --> 00:19:52,708
WE'RE BURNING DAYLIGHT.
452
00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,780
[upbeat orchestral music]
453
00:19:55,884 --> 00:20:03,884
♪
454
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:05,100
- AND A-ONE
455
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,515
AND A-TWO
456
00:20:06,619 --> 00:20:08,241
AND A... OOF!
457
00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:09,863
IS THAT OKAY, SQUIDWARD?
458
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:11,589
- I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED.
459
00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:14,040
DO IT AGAIN.
460
00:20:14,143 --> 00:20:15,490
- AND A-ONE
461
00:20:15,593 --> 00:20:17,906
AND A-TWO...
462
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:20,667
AND A-ONE AND A-TWO AND-A...
463
00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:23,705
[snoring]
464
00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:26,639
AND-A...
[snores]
465
00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:28,986
- GOOD NIGHT, SWEET PRINCE,
466
00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:31,851
AND HELLO,
STARDOM FOR YOURS TRULY.
467
00:20:31,954 --> 00:20:33,818
[laughing]
468
00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:38,098
both: ♪ WE'RE TINY,
WE'RE CUDDLY ♪
469
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,377
♪ WE'RE BUBBLY, WUBBLY,
HUGGLY ♪
470
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,275
- THAT WAS VERY CUTE, GIRLS.
471
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:43,379
[both gasp]
472
00:20:43,414 --> 00:20:44,553
IN FACT, IT'S TOO CUTE.
473
00:20:44,657 --> 00:20:46,624
YOU'RE OUT.
474
00:20:46,728 --> 00:20:49,006
Both: I TOLD YOU
IT WAS STUPID A IDEA,
475
00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:50,628
AND I HATE YOU TOO.
476
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,837
- LET'S SEE WHO'S NEXT.
477
00:20:52,941 --> 00:20:55,530
HMM.
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS...
478
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,532
OH, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
479
00:20:57,635 --> 00:20:59,119
SPONGEBOB!
480
00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:01,087
I GUESS HE'S NOT HERE.
481
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:02,882
IT'S TOO BAD.
HE WAS GOOD.
482
00:21:02,985 --> 00:21:06,506
BUT WHO COULD REPLACE
A DANCER OF SUCH HIGH CALIBER?
483
00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:09,337
- ONLY THE BEST DANCER
IN BIKINI BOTTOM.
484
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,545
- REALLY?
485
00:21:10,648 --> 00:21:12,650
WELL, I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
486
00:21:12,754 --> 00:21:14,825
- HEH-HEH-HEH.
487
00:21:14,928 --> 00:21:17,897
OBSERVE A TRUE MASTER AT WORK.
488
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,969
[plucky orchestral music]
489
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:28,908
♪
490
00:21:30,668 --> 00:21:32,774
- OH, SWEET SASSAFRAS!
491
00:21:32,877 --> 00:21:35,017
DO MINE EYES DECEIVE ME?
492
00:21:35,121 --> 00:21:36,743
THAT WAS THE GREATEST ROUTINE
493
00:21:36,847 --> 00:21:39,746
SINCE THE GREATEST THING SINCE
SLICED BREAD DANCING ROUTINE.
494
00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:41,023
CONGRATULATIONS.
495
00:21:41,127 --> 00:21:42,301
YOU GOT THE GIG.
496
00:21:42,404 --> 00:21:45,027
- OH, BABY, I KNEW IT.
497
00:21:45,131 --> 00:21:47,167
YOU WON'T BE SORRY
YOU MADE THIS DECISION.
498
00:21:47,271 --> 00:21:48,824
- I DON'T THINK
YOU'LL BE SORRY EITHER,
499
00:21:48,928 --> 00:21:52,207
BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DANCING
IN SQUILLIAM'S SHOW.
500
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,452
- SQU... SQU... SQU...
SQU... SQU... SQU...
501
00:21:55,555 --> 00:21:57,143
- WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE!
502
00:21:57,246 --> 00:22:01,561
GET THE SAND OUT OF YOUR LEOTARD
AND DANCE FOR ME, NITWIT!
503
00:22:01,665 --> 00:22:05,047
[tapping]
504
00:22:05,151 --> 00:22:06,151
DANCE!
505
00:22:06,186 --> 00:22:08,948
[upbeat ukulele music]
506
00:22:09,051 --> 00:22:10,051
Smack!
507
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,607
NOT LIKE THAT,
KELP FOR BRAINS.
508
00:22:12,710 --> 00:22:14,298
YOU CALL THAT DANCING?
509
00:22:14,402 --> 00:22:17,059
DO IT LIKE THIS.
510
00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:18,163
HERE I GO.
511
00:22:18,198 --> 00:22:24,515
♪
512
00:22:24,619 --> 00:22:26,345
WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET?
513
00:22:26,448 --> 00:22:27,448
UGH.
514
00:22:27,484 --> 00:22:29,313
NOW, DO IT EXACTLY AS I DID,
515
00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:31,695
AND DON'T STOP
TILL YOU GET IT RIGHT,
516
00:22:31,798 --> 00:22:34,180
AND I DON'T CARE
HOW LONG IT TAKES!
517
00:22:34,283 --> 00:22:39,116
♪
518
00:22:39,219 --> 00:22:41,463
- I WAS UP FOR THAT PART.
519
00:22:46,710 --> 00:22:49,609
[lilting ukulele music]
520
00:22:49,713 --> 00:22:57,548
♪
521
00:23:25,024 --> 00:23:26,888
[kids laughing]
32628
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