Original subtitles

ARE YA READY, KIDS?Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH... ♪

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ READY? ♪

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?

PULL UP A SEAT, BOY.

MR. KRABS, THERE AREN'T ANY CHAIRS.

SIT DOWN.

NOW, YOU'VE WORKED HERE FOR QUITE SOME TIME, BOY.

OH, YES, SIR, AND THEY'VE BEEN THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE, SIR.

THAT SAD FACT ASIDE, MIDWAY THROUGH TODAY'S LUNCH RUSH

WE RAN OUT OF THE SECRET INGREDIENT TO THE SECRET FORMULA.

[GASPING]

NO!

LISTEN UP, BOY.

ANY MINUTE NOW, A TRUCK DRIVER IS GOING TO ARRIVE

AND I'M ENTRUSTING YOU TO RETRIEVE THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

AND I NEED YOU TO DO THIS WITHOUT ANY FOUL-UPS.

UNDERSTAND?

COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?

IT'S TIME!

[SIREN BLARING...]

NOW GO!

AND MAKE SURE TO GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE!

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

WAIT!YES?

IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO THAT SECRET INGREDIENT

DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK TO WORK.

[WHIMPERING]

YOU BOB PANTS?

UH, SPONGEBOB.

CLOSE ENOUGH.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE, KID.

PLENTY OF FOLKS WOULD LOVE TO GET A HOLD OF THAT INGREDIENT.

YES, SIR.

AND NOW, LET'S GET YOU INTO THE KRABBY PATTIES, SECRET "INGREDIENTY."

[GASPING]

WHERE IS IT?

WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT?

NO!

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET RECIPE?

WHAT'S THIS?

A HOLE?

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

A CLEAN INCISION.

ALMOST AS IF SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING, DID THIS ON PURPOSE.

THAT'S IT!

A THIEF MUST'VE CUT A HOLE AND SWIPED THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

BUT WHO?

Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LOLLYGAGGING ABOUT?

GET BACK TO WORK.

[STAMMERING], RIGHT AWAY, SIR.

HOP TO IT.

THERE'S LOTS OF HUNGRY CUSTOMERS OUT THERE.

[GROANING]

MR. KRABS TRUSTED ME, AND I LET HIM DOWN.

Patrick: HI, SPONGEBOB.

HI, PATRICK.

MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.

WITH WHAT?

WITH THIS.

HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.

NOT THAT KIND OF HELP.

THIS USED TO HAVE THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET INGREDIENT INSIDE.

BUT NOW, IT'S MISSING.

WHAT?

SOMEONE STOLE IT, PATRICK.

AND WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO.

FIND OUT!

YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE TO DO A LITTLE DETECTIVE WORK.

WHAT ARE WE EATING THIS TIME, KAREN?

Computer voice: SOMETHING NEW.

OH, YOU MEAN THE SECRET RECIPE I CAME UP WITH?

SpongeBob: AH-HA!

I KNEW IT WAS YOU!

WHAT WAS ME?

OH, COME ON, PLANKTON.

DON'T PLAY DUMB.

YOU KNOW YOU STOLE THE SECRET KRABBY PATTY INGREDIENT.

PSH. IS THIS A JOKE?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?

IS IT?

UH... NO?

[LAUGHING]

GOOD ONE.

[LAUGHING]

ALL RIGHT, NO MORE JOKES.

EITHER YOU TELL ME WHERE THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS

OR WE'LL BE FORCED TO USE OTHER MEANS OF MAKING YOU TALK.

SORRY, I REALLY HAVE NOTHING FOR YOU.

THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?

[GROANING]

OK, YOU'VE CAUGHT ME.

AND SO, THE TRUTH FLOWETH FORTH.

YES, IT IS A KRABBY PATTY.

MM-HM.

BUT IT'S MY VERSION OF A KRABBY PATTY.

[STAMMERING]

AFTER THOUSANDS OF FAILED ATTEMPTS TO STEAL THE RECIPE

I LEARNED ALL BUT ONE INGREDIENT NEEDED TO MAKE KRABBY PATTIES.

THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT.

THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

OVER THE YEARS, I'VE METHODICALLY GONE THROUGH

ALMOST EVERY LETTER IN THE ALPHABET.

RIGHT NOW, I'M ON THE "R"s, AND I'VE GOTTEN UP TO RAW SEWAGE.

YUCK!

TRY IT. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

WELL, HE'S CLEAN.

BUT IF PLANKTON DIDN'T STEAL THE INGREDIENT, WHO DID?

GOOD QUESTION.

ONLY SOMEONE WHO SPECIALIZES IN SCIENCE COULD REVERSE ENGINEER THE RECIPE

BASED ON THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

HM, A SCIENTIST.

THERE SHE IS.

YOU HANG BACK.

I'M GOING IN FOR A CLOSER LOOK.

[GASPING]

OH MY GOSH.

IT IS SANDY.

[GRUNTING]

SpongeBob: ENJOYING THEM KRABBY PATTIES, LADY?

SPONGEBOB.

HOW LONG YOU BEEN STANDING THERE, BUDDY?

OH, LONG ENOUGH, BUDDY.

I WAS JUST STORING FOOD FOR THE IMPENDING WINTER.

WANT ONE?

I'M ON TO YOU, SQUIRREL.

[SNIFFING]

YOU THOUGHT NO ONE COULD FIGURE IT OUT, BUT I PIECED IT TOGETHER.

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU GOT ALL THOSE PATTIES.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GETTING AT, SPONGEBOB?

WHAT I AM GETTING AT IS THAT YOU CLOAKED YOURSELF IN AN INVISIBILITY POTION...

SNUCK THROUGH THE SECURITY PERIMETER...

WHAT WAS THAT?

HERE'S THE SECRET KRABBY PATTY INGREDIENT.

SpongeBob: THEN USED A TIME-FREEZING DEVICE TO FREEZE TIME...

USED A LASER BEAM TO CUT OPEN THE CASE

STOLE THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET INGREDIENT, REVERSE ENGINEERED IT

AND MADE YOUR OWN PATTIES, SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY.

OR PERHAPS, I WALKED INTO THE KRUSTY KRAB, PURCHASED THEM

AND RECEIVED A RECEIPT FOR THESE LEGALLY OBTAINED PATTIES.

283 KRABBY PATTIES.

[LAUGHING]

THAT'S RIGHT.

I COOKED THIS ORDER.

I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU DIDN'T USE A LASER BEAM OR INVISIBILITY.

SPONGEBOB, NEXT TIME, BEFORE YOU RUN AROUND ACCUSING PEOPLE OF THINGS

MAKE SURE YOUR OWN HOUSE IS IN ORDER FIRST.

MY OWN HOUSE, HUH?

WHY'D YOU DO IT, GARY?

[SQUEAKING]

YOU'VE TOLD US THAT STORY 100 TIMES NOW, GARY.

UNFORTUNATELY, MY PARTNER AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR STORIES.

WE WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH.

LOOK, WE KNOW YOU STOLE THE SECRET INGREDIENT, AND IT'S OBVIOUS HOW YOU DID IT.

FIRST, YOU HITCHED A RIDE ON A SECURITY CHOPPER.

THEN, JUMPED INTO THE DROP ZONE.

AND THEN, WHEN I STOPPED TO PULL UP MY SOCK

YOU SNUCK UP BEHIND ME AND DID WHAT ANY SNAIL COULD DO.

YOU SHOT CORROSIVE ACID FROM YOUR TEAR DUCTS, WHICH MELTED THE CASE

ALLOWING YOU TO STEAL THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

[SQUEAKING]

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, GARY.

THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE STOPPED TO PULL UP MY SOCK DURING A PICKUP.

[SQUEAKING]

WHAT'S THAT, GARY?

[SQUEAKING]

YOU DID SEE SOMEONE LEAVING THE KRUSTY KRAB

WITH A MYSTERIOUS BLACK CASE THAT NIGHT?

MR. SNAIL, COULD YOU PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS, THIS MARAUDER TO THE SKETCH ARTIST.

[SQUEAKING]

[PATRICK GRUNTING...][GARY SQUEAKING...]

[GASPING]

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

IT WAS SQUIDWARD!

OPEN UP IN THERE, TENTACLES.

WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.

WE JUST WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW...

HE'S NOT COOPERATING.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

AND ONE, AND...

[SCREAMING]

WE GOT YOU!

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE YOUR CRIMES.

BUT WE "HEAR-ED" WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

IF I CARED, I'D ASK WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT YOU STEALING THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET INGREDIENT.

AND WE HAVE AN EYEWITNESS WHO SAW YOU LEAVING

THE SCENE OF THE CRIME WITH A MYSTERIOUS BLACK CASE.

A CASE LIKE THIS?

YES.

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE KRABBY PATTIES WITHOUT...

[GASPING]

TAP DANCING SHOES?

THAT'S RIGHT.

I WAS IN A TAP CONTEST ON THE NIGHT IN QUESTION

AS YOU CAN SEE FROM MY THIRD PLACE MEDALLION.

I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU DIDN'T STEAL THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!

I DON'T KNOW HOW, SIR, BUT...

BUT SOMEBODY STOLE THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET INGREDIENT!

SPONGEBOB!

YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF GUARDING THAT SECRET INGREDIENT WITH YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW, MR. KRABS.

IT JUST SLIPPED AWAY FROM ME SOMEHOW.

WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY LEADS OR CLUES?

ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT HAD TO BE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ABOUT THE DELIVERY

AND WAS AT THE KRUSTY KRAB DURING THE DELIVERY.

AND THIS PERSON WOULD HAVE TO KNOW

WHAT TO DO WITH THE SECRET INGREDIENT WHEN HE GOT IT.

THAT WOULD BE YOU, SPONGEBOB.

YOU STOLE ME SECRET INGREDIENT.

ME? THAT'S RIGHT.

AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU CARRIED OUT THIS LITTLE CAPER.

YOU OBVIOUSLY SET UP A DECOY TO TAKE THE DELIVERY.

THEN WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING, YOU SWOOPED IN, STOLE THE SECRET INGREDIENT

AND SPIRITED IT AWAY TO THE CHUM BUCKET

WHERE YOU SOLD IT TO PLANKTON TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK.

DON'T TALK.

YOU CAN TELL IT TO THE COPS, 'CAUSE I'M CALLING 'EM RIGHT NOW.

NO NEED.

WE HEARD IT ALL FROM THIS BARREL.

THEN ARREST THIS THIEF, OFFICER.

MR. KRABS, ISN'T THAT THE STOLEN SECRET INGREDIENT?

[GASPING]

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SPONGEBOB?

I'M NOT HOLDING ANY SECRET INGREDIENT.

AM I TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU STOLE THE ITEM IN QUESTION?

WELL, I WOULDN'T CALL IT STEALING.

AND YOU WERE GONNA LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE FALL FOR THIS LITTLE CAPER.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

PLEASE DO.

IT'S SIMPLE.

$1.99 IS A LOT TO PAY FOR THE SECRET INGREDIENT EVERY TIME I GET A DELIVERY

SO I... TOOK IT, TO AVOID PAYING, YOU KNOW.

I THINK JUDGE TROUT WILL BE VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR THIS LITTLE STORY.

WHAT?

WHAT'D I DO?

ALL RISE.

EUGENE KRABS.

YOUR HONOR.

AS PUNISHMENT FOR COMMITTING THE CRIME OF GRAND THEFT

I SENTENCE YOU TO GIVE AWAY KRABBY PATTIES FOR FREE ALL DAY TOMORROW.

GIVE AWAY ME PATTIES FOR FREE?

OH, NO.

I COULDN'T BEAR THE SIGHT OF THAT.

[SOBBING]

[MR. KRABS SCREAMING...]

STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR FREE KRABBY PATTIES.

[MR. KRABS SCREAMING...]

[LAUGHING]

[upbeat music]

[PLANKTON GRUMBLING]

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

[SCREAMING]

Computer voice: What's wrong now?

SAME AS ALWAYS.

LOOK. EMPTY AGAIN.

So what are you gonna do about it?

I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!

[SOBBING]

[COMPUTER IMITATING CRYING]

Why don't you just work on a new recipe?

WHAT'S THE POINT?

I HAVEN'T HAD A CUSTOMER IN YEARS.

Male voice: HELLO?

AWAY WITH YOU!

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M SELF-LOATHING HERE?

SORRY.

I JUST WANTED A CHUM STICK.WHAT?

YES, I'D LIKE ONE OF YOUR CHUM STICKS.

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

I WANT A CHUM STICK.

UH, OK.

IF YOU INSIST.

OH NO, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME.

Creature: MM-MM.

[SLURPING]

I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY ENJOYS MY CHUM.

[LAUGHING]

NOW, THIS WAS SO GOOD, I'M GONNA HAVE TO COME BACK TOMORROW.

HERE YOU GO.

SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO THREATEN HIS LIFE.

HE LOVED IT!

How'd you pull that off?

WELL, IT'S SIMPLE.

FINALLY, SOMEONE CAME IN WHO HAS GOOD TASTE.

AND HE'S COMING BACK TOMORROW.

EXCUSE ME, KAREN, BUT I GOT TO WHIP UP SOME MORE.

NOW, I WAIT.

I WAIT UNTIL HE RETURNS.

I WAIT.

I WAIT.

I WAIT.

I WAIT.

French narrator: EIGHT HOURS LATER.

[SNORING]

[CHIMING...]

HUH, NAT, HELLO?

HUH?

WHAT?

UGH, IT'S CLOSING TIME.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

HEY.

WELL, HELLO, NAT.

I CAME BACK LIKE I SAID YESTERDAY.

YOU CERTAINLY DID, DIDN'T YOU?

[CHUCKLING]

I'D LIKE ANOTHER CHUM STICK, PLEASE.

WELL, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, NAT.

I HAPPEN TO HAVE A QUITE DELECTABLE ONE RIGHT HERE.

OH, BOY.

IS IT OK?OK?

IT'S PERFECTION!

[LAUGHING]

HEY, HOW ABOUT I HAVE ANOTHER?

YOU BET YOU.

OOH, BOY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW GOOD THESE THINGS ARE.

AH, WELL, YOU KNOW.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU TOMORROW.

WHAT?

YOU'RE COMING BACK AGAIN?

OH, YOU KNOW IT.

AND THE DAY AFTER THAT, AND THE NEXT WEEK AFTER THAT.

YOU'VE GOT A REGULAR CUSTOMER ON YOUR HANDS.

OH, MY.

THIS IS AMAZING.

AT LAST, I'VE GOT MY REVENGE.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

♪ ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING ♪

♪ MONEY KEEPS ON ROLLING ALONG ♪

[LAUGHING]

ONE MORE TIME.

WHOA!

NO WAY, PLANKTON.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME FORMULA THIS TIME OR ANY TIME.

DON'T BOTHER.

THERE'S NO NEED.

WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M JUST SAYING, I NO LONGER NEED TO COPY YOU, KRABS.

I'VE GOT MY OWN WINNING RECIPE NOW.

[LAUGHING]

YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY, MAN.

YOU THINK YOU CAN COMPETE WITH ME?

LOOK, PLANKTON.

LOOK AT ALL THESE LOYAL CUSTOMERS.

LOYAL TO ME, PLANKTON, NOT TO YOU.

Nat: HEY, PLANKTON!

CAN I GET ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR DELICIOUS CHUM STICKS?

BUT OF COURSE, LOYAL CUSTOMER.

[GRUNTING]

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, LOSER.

MUCH LATER.

[LAUGHING]

OH NO.

HOW CAN THIS BE?

BOY, FRONT AND CENTER.

YES, SIR.

PLANKTON'S TRYING TO OVERTHROW ME BUSINESS.

HE'S GOT A CUSTOMER THAT ACTUALLY LIKES HIS FOOD.

YOU GOT TO GET THAT GUY BACK ON OUR SIDE WITH A COUPLE OF KRABBY PATTIES.

OH, YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, SIR.

PARDON ME, YOU SMART FELLOW.

DOWN HERE.

[LAUGHING]

WHY SETTLE FOR PLANKTON'S LUMPY CHUM WHEN YOU CAN ENJOY A STEAMING KRABBY PATTY FOR FREE?

[GROANING]

NO, THANKS.

BARNACLES.

THERE HE IS.

JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST.

OH.

I AM SUCH A CLUMSY OAF.

I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO THIS KRABBY PATTY

WHILE I STEP CAREFULLY OVER THIS ROCK HERE.

OH, NO.

TOO LATE.

NO, NO!

[GRUNTING]

OOPS.

[GRUNTING]

OOPS.

[GRUNTING]

OOPS.

[GRUNTING] OOPS.

OH, COME ON, NAT.

JUST ONE ACCIDENTAL BITE.

[PANTING]

I SEE YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M TELLING YOU, THAT KRABBY PATTY IS GONNA MAKE A GREAT SNACK LATER.

YEAH, DO ME A FAVOR.

FROM NOW ON, KEEP THOSE SHABBY PATTIES TO YOURSELF.

OH, FISH PASTE.

Plankton: NAT.

BACK ALREADY?

THAT'S THE FIFTH TIME TODAY.

NOT THAT I'M SURPRISED.

KAREN, BABE, FETCH NAT ANOTHER PLATE OF THAT SWEET CHUM.

Yes, your diminutiveness.

SAY, NAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

NO.

♪ DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO ♪

[LAUGHING]

WOULD YOU HURRY UP WITH THAT CHUM, KAREN?

SpongeBob: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

KEEP YOUR TINY PANTS ON, PLANKTON.

BLEEP BLOOP.

THERE'S YOUR CHUM.

BLEEP BLAP BLOP.

HEY, THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE CHUM.

AND THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE KAREN.

WHY, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, MY HUSBAND.

BLEEP BLAP.

OF COURSE IT'S ME.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KAREN, YOU BRUTE?

[MUMBLING AND BEEPING]

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

I DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR TRASH!

PLANKTON'S CHUM IS MY FAVORITE BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER.

I LOVE CHUM!

SO FORGET IT.

I DON'T WANT TO EAT ANYTHING ELSE.

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU LOVE CHUM?

AND ALL THAT YOU EVER EAT IS CHUM?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

INTERESTING.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

A SHORTCUT TO THE CHUM BUCKET.

HM, THAT MUST BE FOR ME.

[WHISTLING...]

WELCOME, VALUED CUSTOMER.

THIS ISN'T THE CHUM BUCKET.

[LAUGHING]

WHY GO TO THE CHUM BUCKET WHEN THE KRUSTY KRAB HAS ADDED TASTY CHUM TO OUR MENU?

THAT'S OK.

I ONLY EAT CHUM BUCKET BRAND CHUM.

BUT WE'VE DEVELOPED A SPECIAL RECIPE FOR THE MOST DISCERNING CHUM LOVERS.

BESIDES, I'VE LOCKED ALL THE EXITS UNTIL YOU GIVE IT A TRY.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[GAGGING]

YOU LIKE IT?

[GAGGING]

IT'S...

YEAH?

IT'S...

[GAGGING]

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S THE SECOND FOULEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED.

[COUGHING]

I'M GOING BACK TO PLANKTON'S CHUM.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I CAN'T LET PLANKTON HAVE SO MUCH AS ONE SINGLE CUSTOMER.

[SOBBING]: I JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT.

[CRYING]

I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE CHUM THAT'S AS GOOD AS PLANKTON'S.

BUT TO DO THAT, I'D NEED TO KNOW HOW PLANKTON MAKES HIS CHUM.

HM.

THAT'S IT, BOY-O.

WHERE COULD IT BE?

THERE.

PLANKTON'S SECRET FORMULA.

IT'S GOT TO BE IN HERE.

[SIREN BLARING...]

[GASPING]

[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

WHAT DO YOU THINK, KRABS, BABY?

THIS TIME, I CAUGHT YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY SECRET FORMULA.

IRONIC, ISN'T IT?

UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING.

YOU SEE, CRABS ARE NOT BORN WITH AN INNATE INKLING OF IRONY.

OUCH.

DOUBLE IRONY.

SpongeBob: TRIPLE IRONY, PLANKTON.

THOUGH YOU NABBED KRABS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR FORMULA

I'M STILL HERE TO FOIL YOUR EVIL PLANS.

SO IT'S LIKE A DOLLOP OF IRONY ON TOP OF AN IRONIC TWIST.

[GROANING]

SpongeBob: I MEAN, JUST THINK ABOUT THAT.

YOU KNOW, IN A WEIRD WAY, IT'S LIKE WE NEVER LEFT THE...

GOOD THING I SPRANG FOR THE DUAL SPOON INSTALLATION.

Karen: Call it a computer's intuition

but I sense your regular approaching with an unusually large wad of cash.

LOOK AT ALL THAT LOOT.

Plankton: THAT'S RIGHT, KRABS.

AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING WHEN MY CUSTOMER

COMES IN AND PAYS ME FOR MY CHUM.

OH, JUST PUT ME OUT OF ME MISERY.

BACK FOR MORE OF MY DELICIOUS CHUM, I SEE.

NOT THIS TIME.

HUH?

NOT EVER AGAIN.

THE DEAL'S OFF, COMPUTER.

I CAN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE OF THAT SLOP, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PAY ME.

[STAMMERING]

HUH?

I HAVE EATEN 10 OF THOSE THINGS, AND I'VE ALREADY HAD TO GO TO THE DOCTOR, TWICE.

[GROANING...]

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE GETTING MY STOMACH PUMPED... AGAIN.

[GROANING]

WHAT'S THE DEAL, KAREN?

The deal was that I paid Nat to eat your chum so you'd quit your constant complaining.

ALL THIS TIME, I NEVER HAD ONE REGULAR CUSTOMER?

Karen: Duh.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER EAT MY SLOP?

Ugh, there he goes again.

Cut it out, Plankton.

WHAT?

IT'S JUST OBVIOUS THAT I'M A COMPLETE FAILURE AND A WASTE OF A LOWER LIFE FORM.

OH, WOE IS ME.

[SOBBING]

QUICKLY.

NOW IS THE TIME TO BEAT A HASTY RETREAT.

WHAT?

AND MISS THIS?

I'VE NEVER ENJOYED MESELF MORE.

[gentle music]