Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

♪ OHH... ♪

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat ukelele music]

♪ ♪

GET UP, PATRICK. IT'S TIME!

TIME FOR WHAT?

THE BIG SHINDIG, REMEMBER?

NO.

BESIDES, I DON'T REALLY THINK MY SHINS SHOULD BE INVOLVED.

THEY'RE A BIT FLABBY TODAY.

THAT'S SHINDIG, BUDDY.

WE'RE SPENDING THE DAY AT THE BEACH

IN HONOR OF OUR BEST-FRIENDSHIP.

THE BEACH? JUST YOU AND ME?

SO AM I READY FOR THE BEACH, SPONGEBOB?

UH...SURE.

A LITTLE SUNSCREEN, AND I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE.

I'M SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY AT THE BEACH

WITH MY BEST FRIEND.

YOU'RE HURTING ME.

GUESS WHAT? WHAT?

I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!

OH, BUS DRIVER...

WHAT?

OKAY, OUT OF EVERYONE ON THIS BUS,

GUESS WHICH ONE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

I DON'T CARE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SITUATION CALLS FOR, PATRICK?

A FEW VERSES OF THE BEST FRIEND TUNE.

♪ BEST FRIEND... ♪

HEY, WAIT!

THIS IS NOT OUR STOP!

OH, HOW ARE WE GONNA GET TO THE BEACH NOW, PATRICK?

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE ARE.

I KNEW IT. WE'VE BEEN ABANDONED!

DOOMED! OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, PATRICK.

NO ONE'S EVER GONNA FIND US OUT HERE.

[both crying]

LITTLE HELP, BRAH.

LOOK, PATRICK, WE MADE IT.

HEY, BEST FRIEND, CHECK THIS OUT.

IT'S A SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU THROW.

SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU THROW?

I LOVE PLAYING SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU THROW.

I DO TOO, BUDDY.

IF ONLY "SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU THROW"

HAD A SHORTER, CATCHIER NAME.

OH, HOW ABOUT "SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU TOSS?"

PERFECT!

NOW RUN ALONG, PATRICK,

AND I'LL TOSS IT TO YOU.

READY?

THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A SANDWI--

[gags]

I CAUGHT IT!

WASN'T THAT COOL, SPONGEBOB?

I CAN ASSURE YOU, THAT WAS NOTCOOL.

JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

YOUR BUFFOONERY HAS DESTROYED THE LIFEGUARD TOWER.

WHY DON'T YOU FIND SOMETHING TO DO THAT'S LESS OBNOXIOUS.

LIKE WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

GO PLAY IN THE SAND OR SOMETHING.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

PLAYING WITH THE SAND SOUNDS PRETTY BORING.

NONSENSE, PATRICK.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF FUN THINGS TO DO IN THE SAND.

WE CAN DRAW, OR PRACTICE OUR CURSIVE WRITING OR--

BORING, SPONGEBOB, BORING.

I KNOW: WE CAN MAKE SAND CASTLES!

THAT SOUNDS UN-BORING.

NO ONE'S EVER BEEN ANNOYED BY A SAND CASTLE.

NOTHING QUITE LIKE THE JOY OF SAND-CASTLING, EH, BUDDY?

HOW YOU DOING OVER THERE?

EVERYTHING'S DANDY IN PATRICK'S KINGDOM.

OH, A STRUCTURE LIKE THAT CAN'T PROTECT A KING,

AND HIS SUBJECTS.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

FIRST, YOU SHOULD START ALL OVER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU DESTROYED MY CASTLE!

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP, BUDDY.

I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.

HERE ARE THOSE ARCHITECTURAL PLANS YOU REQUESTED.

WHY THANK YOU.

HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD JUST TEND TO THE AFFAIRS OF MY OWN REALM.

AND I'LL START BY MAKING A QUEEN TO RULE BY YOUR SIDE.

NOW WE'RE EVEN.

ALL RIGHT, PATRICK. HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

YOU KEEP TO YOUR TERRITORY, AND I'LL KEEP TO MINE.

[mumbling]

THIS'LL SHOW SPONGEBOB HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE

WHO CAN BUILD A CASTLE.

LET'S SEE SPONGEBOB DESTROY THISCASTLE.

I'D BETTER BUILD A WALL

JUST IN CASE KING PINKY GETS ANY FUNNY IDEAS.

OH, SIR, YOU BUILT ONTO MY SIDE.

SO.

SO YOU DON'T DO THAT!

THERE.

THAT RESTORES THE INTEGRITY OF OUR SHARED BORDER.

YOU TYRANT! YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!

I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT FOR.

WHAT FOR WHAT? [yelling]

NOW WE'RE EVEN...AGAIN.

OKAY, PATRICK. I CAN ACCEPT THAT.

NO MORE DESTRUCTION FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, OKAY?

OKAY, BACK TO SQUARE ONE AGAIN.

UH-HUH!

[blowing horn]

I HEREBY PROPOSE A NON-AGGRESSION TREATY

TO END HOSTILITIES BETWEEN OUR TWO KINGDOMS.

PATRICK, BY SIGNING THIS HISTORIC ARMISTICE,

YOU HAVE BROUGHT PEACE TO OUR LANDS.

MAY YOUR KINGDOM PROSPER.

WELL, THAT WENT WELL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ABOUT THE TREATY?

THIS TREATY AIN'T WORTH THE SAND IT'S PRINTED ON.

OH, IS THAT SO?

WELL, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE DOWN THIS CASTLE

MY ANSWER IS: BRING IT ON!

[laughing]

PATRICK, I'M TRYING TO BE THE NICE GUY HERE, OKAY?

LET'S CALL THIS SILLY BUSINESS OFF.

NO WAY. YOU STARTED IT.

FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

[chuckling] WHATEVER.

NO, NO, NO, NO. AH.

[horn sounds]

OH, HELLO, AND GOOD-BYE.

[all yelling]

UH-HUH. [yelling]

COME ON!

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

[laughing maniacally] YOU'LL NEVER WIN!

DO YOU HEAR ME?

UH-HUH.

MM-HMM.

WELL PUT, GENERAL.

WE'LL CREATE A SURPRISE MILITARY DIVERSION

AND BREAK THROUGH ENEMY LINES.

WHAT SAY YOU?

YES, WE SHALL READY OURSELVES IMMEDIATELY.

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

I LIKE YOU THIS MUCH.

WHOA!

FEEL ME!

PATRICK?

PATRICK!

ARE YOU OKAY?

QUESTION IS: WILL YOU BE?

[screaming]

NO FAIR.

ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR,

MY FRIEND/ENEMY.

OR SHOULD I SAY, MY FRIENDENEMY?

LET'S HAVE SOME REAL FUN.

[screams]

WHAT WAS THAT?

COME ON, WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

GRAB THE CHILDREN!

OH, YEAH?

TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME.

[explosion]

JUMPING JELLYFISH! WHOA!

[laughing]

I WASN'T GONNA DO THIS,

BUT YOU'VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE.

AH, LET'S BEAT IT, DUDE.

[explosion]

[laughing]

HUH?

OH, WHAT HAPPENED?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED, PATRICK.

I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

ME TOO.

WAS IT WORTH IT?

NO, NO. IT WASN'T.

WHAT STARTED OUT AS A FUN DREAM TURNED INTO A HORRIBLE,

BRUTAL NIGHTMARE.

AS THE WINDS OF TIME CHANGE THE SILVERY SANDS OF THESE DUNES

TO A NEW LANDSCAPE, SO LET US HOPE

THAT OUR OWN WINDS OF CHANGE WILL CHANGE OUR SPIRITUAL DUNES

TO A LANDSCAPE OF PEACE.

OH, BUDDY, LET'S NEVER FORGET THIS LESSON.

AND LET'S ALSO NOT FORGET

WHO'S GONNA CLEAN THIS PLACE UP.

both: OH, WOW.

BETTER GET STARTED.

YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

BET I CAN CLEAN UP FASTER THAN YOU!

OH, YEAH? BET YOU CAN'T.

YES, I CAN. NO, I CAN.

OH, I CAN. I CAN.

OH, LOOK AT THIS.

[upbeat ukelele music]

♪ ♪

[teeth chattering]

[gasping]

PHEW!

[clattering]

[teeth chattering]

HELLO? HELLO?

THE LINE'S BEEN CUT.

BARNACLES!

GUESS I BETTER TAKE A LOOK.

WHO'S THERE?

STAY BACK. I'M ARMED.

WHOA! WHOA!

FALLING! OH!

[mechanical chattering]

AHA. WIND-UP NOVELTY TEETH.

HOW DID YOU WIND UP DOWN HERE?

[laughing] OH?

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH MY FANCY BOOT?

HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!

ALL RIGHT, I WARNED YOU.

YOU'RE A DIRTY FIGHTER.

I GOT YOU NOW.

HI-YA!

GARY?

NO!

GARY!

[coughs]

WHEW, THANK GOODNESS.

FOR A MINUTE THERE, I THOUGH YOU WERE HURT.

GARY, I-I'VE BROKEN YOUR SHELL.

[yowling]

[wailing]

OH, NO! YOU'RE IN PAIN!

DON'T WORRY. I'LL MAKE IT BETTER.

[howls]

SORRY, NOT BETTER.

OH, I KNOW.

HERE.

JUST USE A LITTLE TAPE,

AND THERE YOU GO.

GOOD AS NEW.

UM, WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT,

BECAUSE WE'LL FIND A NEW SHELL FOR YOU.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. TOO GAUDY.

NO, TOO LAST SEASON.

I NEED THAT.

UH-HUH. LOOK, GARY.

HERE, TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.

[whimpers]

OF COURSE IT'S A SHELL.

OH, COME ON. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

[meows]

OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOT A SHELL.

OH!

[robotic voice] GREETINGS, EARTHLING.

I AM SPONGEBOB.

I COME FROM THE FUTURE.

[robotic laughter]

I BET THIS'LL LOOK GREAT.

EW I CAN SEE WHY SNAIL SHELLS AREN'T CLEAR.

HMM.

HERE IT IS, GARY.

YOUR NEW SHELL!

OH, YOU LOOK READY TO RIDE.

SHELL SPIFFY.

GREAT IDEA, GAR. I'LL ORDER YOU A NEW SHELL.

ARE THERE ANY YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON, OLD BUDDY?

[meows]

OH, PAGE 72.

HERE IT IS.

WOW!

THIS STYLISH, FULLY INSULATED, DUAL-COAT CERAMIC SHELL

COMES EQUIPPED WITH AUTOMATIC RESTROOM FACILITIES STANDARD.

AND FOR THE AFFORDABLE PRICE OF JUST $9,595.95!

ISN'T THERE A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET A QUALITY SHELL

WITHOUT SPENDING A FORTUNE?

COMMERCIAL? WHAT COMMERCIAL?

UH-OH, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

YOU BROKE YOUR SNAIL'S SHELL AGAIN.

YEAH. NOW WHAT DO I DO?

YOU COME ON DOWN TO ANGRY JACK'S SHELL EMPORIUM.

ANGRY JACK'S!

I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT MY MASSIVE INVENTORY

THAT I'M SLASHING PRICES LIKE CRAZY!

JACK'S ANGRY.

$99.99 BUYS THIS REFURBISHED SHELL,

AND I'M ANGRY ABOUT IT!

OR WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

BRAND-NEW PLASTIC SHELL, SUPER-GLOSS COAT,

ONLY $39.99.

HEY, GET THOSE NUMBERS OUT OF MY FACE!

DID I MENTION I'M ANGRY?

HE'S SEETHING WITH RAGE.

THE WIFE'S GONE FOR GOOD,

SO I'M GONNA SELL, SELL, SELL

ALL THESE SHELL SHELL SHELLS!

SO COME ON DOWN TO ANGRY JACK'S NOW!

JACK IS REAL MAD.

DON'T BRING YOUR KIDS.

AND REMEMBER,

I'LL MATCH OR BEAT ANYONE'S ADVERTISED RAGE,

OR YOUR SHELL IS ABSOLUTELY-- EH, EH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY COMMERCIAL?

OH, SORRY, ANGRY JACK.

GARY HERE NEEDS A NEW SHELL,

AND WE KNEW YOU'D HELP US FIND ONE.

HEY, SHOULDN'T YOU BE YELLING AT ME RIGHT NOW?

NAH.

I JUST DO THAT TO MAKE MY COMMERCIALS LOUDER.

AND LOUDER IS THE SAME AS BETTER!

NOW LET'S SEE IF I CAN'T GET YOU INTO A NEW SHELL.

HMM, THERE SHE IS.

THERE YOU ARE, LITTLE GUY.

[meows]

OH, IT'S PERFECT.

JUST LIKE THE OLD ONE, HEY, BUDDY?

[glass shatters]

AND NOW IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE THE OLD ONE, HEY, BUDDY?

[meows]

HEY, ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN. WHY DON'T WE TRY THIS ONE ON?

OOH, THAT'S NICE!

LOVE THE PATTERN.

WE'LL TAKE IT.

BUT FIRST I'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE IT'S BATTENED DOWN.

WE DON'T WANT THIS ONE SLIPPING OFF, HEY, BUDDY?

OOPS.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?

OH, SORRY JACK.

HEY, HOW MUCH IS THAT ONE?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST HOLD YOUR SNAIL?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE SHELLS.

GOOD IDEA, ANGRY.

SO HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ONE?

WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS SHINY.

IT IS OUR MOST RE--REFLECTIVE MODEL.

OH, THAT IS BRIGHT.

CAN'T SEE.

WHAT WAS THAT?

EXCUSE ME.

[glass shattering]

WHY...CAN'T...

I...STOP...

BREAKING...SHELLS?

AAH!

OOPS. SAY, JACK,

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU HAVE ANY MORE TO SHOW ME?

I DO HAVE ONE MORE AVAILABLE.

IT'S THE ONLY CERTIFIED INDESTRUCTIBLE SHELL

I'VE EVER SEEN.

BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND A WAY.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

BEFORE WE DO THE HAND-OFF,

LET ME TAKE A FEW PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES.

OKAY, FIRST, YEP, SHOES ARE TIED.

HANDS ARE DRY.

AND NOW A THICK LAYER OF BUBBLE WRAP.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE IN THE BACK?

THE BACK?

THERE IS NO BACK ANYMORE.

YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE,

I REDUCED YOUR INVENTORY FOR YOU.

REDUCED?

YOU DESTROYED EVERYTHING!

AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY.

ARE YOU REALLY ANGRY,

OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO SOUND LOUDER?

I'M REALLY ANGRY!

BLISTERING FURY.

AND I DEMAND IMMEDIATE PAYMENT.

TAKE IT. IT'S ALL MY SAVINGS.

THIS ISN'T ENOUGH TO REPLACE MY FORTUNE!

I'M GONNA NEED MORE.

SORRY, THAT'S ALL I GOT. HONEST.

NO IT'S NOT.

YOU GOT TWO ARMS AND TWO LEGS, DON'T YOU?

YEAH. GIVE ME ONE OF EACH.

OKAY.

I'LL ALSO NEED SOME INTERNAL ORGANS.

[heart beating]

AND AN EYEBALL. AND YOUR CLOTHES.

OH, GARY, HOW I WISH YOUR SHELL COULD GROW BACK

LIKE MY APPENDAGES.

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

OH, GARY, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

SQUARE LOOKS GOOD ON ANYBODY.

[wailing]

OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?

IT LOOKS TERRIBLE ON YOU!

I KNOW, GARY.

I RUINED YOUR LIFE.

DO YOU HAVE TO RUB IT IN?

[both crying]

HEY, WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT SNIVELING?

MR. KRABS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M JUST--OH, WELL, NEVER MIND THAT, BOY.

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

I DESTROYED GARY'S SHELL,

AND NOW I CAN'T FIND A REPLACEMENT.

SO I GUESS HE'LL JUST LIVE THE REST OF HIS DAYS

AS A LOWLY SLUG.

[both crying]

THERE, THERE, BOY. THERE THERE.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

MR. KRABS, PERHAPS YOU COULD HELP ME

FIND A NEW SHELL FOR GARY.

WELL, I'D BE HONORED TO HELP YOU AND YOUR SNIVELING SNAIL

DURING SUCH DESPERATE TIMES.

BECAUSE I LOVE HELPING OTHERS BY HELPING MYSELF.

NOW HOW MUCH YA GOT?

NOTHING, MR. KRABS.

I'M BROKE.

OH, I SEE.

BUT WAIT, MR. KRABS.

IF YOU HELP ME GET GARY A SHELL,

I'LL WORK FOR FREE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

ONLY IF I CAN CUT YOUR HEALTH BENEFITS FOR YOU.

DEAL!

[teeth chattering]

AH, ANOTHER BAD DREAM.

[screaming]

MR. KRABS?

NO, SORRY, GARY, I'M NOT USED TO YOUR NEW SHELL.

SPONGEBOB, MY BOY.

I NEED TO BORROW A BLANKET.

THERE YOU GO, MR. KRABS.

THANKS, BOY-O.

NOW I'M ALL TOASTY.

AH, I GUESS ALL'S SHELL THAT ENDS SHELL.

HUH, GARY? AH! THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

GARY. GARY. GARY.

[lilting ukulele music]

♪ ♪

[kids laughing]