Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

* OHH... *

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

* *

[waves crashing]

[quirky music]

* *

451, 452,

453, 454,

455,

456--OW!

NYAH!

[whimpering]

OH!

I SPLIT ME NAIL.

OH, THAT LOOKS TERRIBLE.

HELLO? GWENEVERE?

IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN BITING THEM.

OH!

CAN YOU JUST SCHEDULE ME IN?

NOW?

A MANICURE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?

[whispering] BUT WHAT IF THE GUYS SEE ME?

YES, I WANT MY NAILS TO LOOK THEIR BEST.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[mischievous music]

* *

[radar pinging]

[snoring]

OW! AHOY, SIR.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [nervous laugh]

IT'S--IT'S A SECRET.

[gasp] YOU HAVE A SECRET?

EVERYBODY'S GOT A SECRET, SPONGEBOB.

AND MINE'S GONNA TAKE 15 MINUTES.

MAYBE 20 IF SHE CAN SPRUCE UP ME CUTICLES.

AYE, AYE, SIR.

AND WHO WILL BE IN CHARGE WHILE YOU'RE GONE?

EH...

[snore] WELL, NOT SQUIDWARD.

DON'T KNOW HIM. TOO LUMPY.

[whimsical music]

OKAY, OKAY.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE.

WHAT? YOU'RE IN CHARGE

FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES.

I'M....IN....CHARGE?

YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT?

[rattling]

YOU OKAY, BOY?

[squealing]

YAHOO!

[triumphant music]

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, SIR.

OH, SHEESH.

I'LL BE BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

[snoring]

AHEM.

NAP TIME'S OVER, SQUIDWARD.

NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY WE WORK REAL HARD

UNTIL MR. KRABS COMES BACK?

KRABS IS GONE?

YEP. AND I'M IN CHARGE

FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES.

WOW. [giggling]

YEAH, I'M KIND OF A BIG DEAL AROUND HERE.

I GUESS THAT'S WHY KRABS PUT ME IN CHARGE.

CHARGE.

* CHARGE *

WAKE ME UP WHEN I CARE.

[watch ticking] DO YOU CARE NOW?

NO.

[gasp]

[nervous laugh]

EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL, PEOPLE.

GO BACK TO YOUR KRABBY PATTIES.

NOTHING YOUR TEMPORARY MAN IN CHARGE CAN'T HANDLE.

SQUIDWARD? [snoring]

SQUIDWARD? [mumbling]

SQUIDWARD? SQUIDWARD?

SQUID--SQUID--SQUIDWARD? [glass shattering]

SQUID--SQUID-- WHAT?

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT I'M IN...CHARGE.

[contained growling]

AND YOU INTERRUPTED

MY REGULARLY SCHEDULED KRUSTY KRAB NAP?

REGULARLY SCHEDULED NAP?

THIS MUST BE IMPORTANT.

MR. KRABS HAS NEVER INTERRUPTED ONE OF THESE BEFORE.

REALLY?

BUT BEING AS YOU'RE THE "MAN IN CHARGE,"

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR REASONS.

WELL, I--UM...

WHAT IS IT?

UH, NOTHING.

CARRY ON.

BOY, THERE SURE IS A LOT OF PROCEDURAL TYPE STUFF

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE KRUSTY KRAB.

HA!

ding! ding!

ORDER UP, SQUIDWARD!

YOU KNOW, I'LL LET YOU SERVE THIS ONE.

MY STORIES ARE ON.

GOSH, I'D LOVE TO, SQUIDWARD,

BUT I'VE GOT TO COOK THE PATTIES.

SO DO IT WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

AND UNCLOG THE SINK.

HMM.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR A SECRET?

WHAT KIND OF SECRET? SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE?

YES.

HE WANTS TO BE A FRY COOK, AND YOU'RE HIS HERO.

WHO, ME?

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF POINTERS?

LET HIM COOK HIS OWN PATTY.

AND DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

HE'S SHY.

[laughing] THIS'LL BE GOOD.

HEY, BUDDY.

YEAH, IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB.

FRY COOK EXTRAORDINAIRE.

UH, HELLO.

I KNOW YOUR SECRET.

WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU?

OH, A LITTLE CASHIER TOLD ME.

FOLLOW ME. YEAH, WHATEVER YOU SAY, MAN.

MORON.

BET YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE IN HERE TODAY, DID YOU?

NO. FIRST OFF, THIS IS MY GRILL.

THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

AND THIS IS MY ACTUAL SPATULA.

SO, START FRYING UP SOME PATTIES.

I'LL CHECK ON YOU LATER, MY LITTLE PRODIGY.

HA-HA, SPONGEBOB WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING.

[laughing]

ORDER NUMBER 12! SPONGEBOB!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TAKING OUT AN ORDER.

YOU'RE SERVING KRABBY PATTIES

WITH YOUR HANDS?

DO YOU KNOW HOW FILTHY YOUR HANDS ARE?

[gasps] THEY ARE?

BUT YOUR FEET, HOWEVER,

ARE NICE AND CLEAN.

THINK ABOUT IT.

THEY'VE BEEN PROTECTED BY YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS ALL DAY.

OHHHHH.

[dramatic music]

IT'S ALL CLEAR TO ME NOW.

[ukulele music]

ONE KRABBY MEAL SERVED WITH EXTRA-SANITARY FOOT SERVICE.

YOUR HOT, STEAMY, JUICY KRABBY PATTY,

AND A LARGE DRINK.

* *

ENJOY.

HEY, IS MY FOOD HERE YET?

HERE, YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

[snoring]

DELIVERY. WHAT? WHAT?

HERE'S THE SUPPLIES YOU ORDERED.

OW!

SIGN HERE.

HEY, MY PEN.

OOPS, SORRY.

HOO-HUH!

IT'S HERE!

* IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! *

* IT'S HERE! *

* DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO *

* IT'S HERE! *

SPONGEBOB, WHAT IS ALL THIS JUNK?

NOW THAT I'M "IN CHARGE,"

I'VE DECIDED TO REDECORATE THE KRUSTY KRAB.

I'M GOING TO MAKE IT ALL PRETTY.

YEAH, HAVE FUN WITH THAT.

* OH, SQUIDWARD. *

I'M IN CHARGE. OOF!

SO YOU'LL BE HAVING ALL THE FUN.

DOING WHAT?

PAINTING THE WALLS,

BUFFING THE TABLES, SEWING PRETTY CURTAINS,

WASHING THE WINDOWS, VARNISHING THE STOOLS,

HANGING THE FERNS, WAXING THE TOILETS.

OH, YOU LUCKY DOG! [contained growl]

HEY, SPONGEBOB,

DO YOU WANNA HEAR ANOTHER KRUSTY KRAB SECRET?

HUH? ANOTHER KRUSTY KRAB SECRET?

YEP. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW

HOW MR. KRABS GETS ALL THESE CUSTOMERS?

YESSSSS.

LOW EXPECTATIONS.

WHAT'S THAT?

HE KEEPS THE PLACE A DUMP

SO THE FOOD SEEMS EVEN BETTER BY COMPARISON.

SO IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS MR. KRABS,

YOU MAKE IT MORE FILTHY.

MORE FILTHY?

THROW TRASH ON THE FLOORS, BREAK FURNITURE,

AND NEVER CLEAN ANYTHING.

SOUNDS LIKE THE CHUM BUCKET.

AHHH, BUT YOU'LL BE DOING IT ON PURPOSE.

OHHHH.

[ukulele music]

HOW'S THIS, SQUIDWARD?

LOOKING GOOD. [slurping]

YOU MEAN, LOOKING BAD.

ENJOY OUR FINE DECOR.

NEXT TIME, I'M PICKING THE RESTAURANT.

* *

ONE KRUSTY KRAB COVERED IN MUD AND SLIME.

[slurping] YOU MISSED A SPOT.

* *

OH.

GOT IT!

[munching]

* *

bang!

bang, bang, bang!

GUM UNDER ALL TABLES.

HOW'S THAT FOR LOW EXPECTATIONS?

LOWER.

INITIATING STAGE TWO:

COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

[grunt]

HOW WAS THAT?

PERFECT!

HEY.

THIS PLACE IS DISGUSTING. YEAH, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE,

JUST AS SOON AS I FINISH THIS DELICIOUS KRABBY PATTY.

[all murmuring]

SQUIDWARD, ALL THE CUSTOMERS ARE LEAVING!

WHAT DID WE TALK ABOUT?

DON'T TOUCH THE MATERIAL--

IF YOU WANT THE CUSTOMERS TO STAY,

YOU NEED TO PROVIDE SOME ENTERTAINMENT.

OOH, CAN DO, SQUIDWARD! CAN DO!

COME ON, LET'S GO.

WAIT!

[huffing] YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS...THIS:

[rhythmic sounds] UMH, UMH, YEAH, YEAH.

WHAT'S HE DOING?

HE'S DANCING.

[singing]

OKAY, PEOPLE, JUST BACK AWAY SLOWLY.

[sighs]

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE POLISHED PINCERS

TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN.

[imitating Popeye's laugh] ACK, ACK, ACK.

LET'S SEE HOW SPONGEBOB'S DOING AS ACTING MANAGER.

WHAT THE--

SPONGEBOB DANCING LIKE A GOOFBALL?

* AND A HEY AND A HO *

* AND A HEY AND A HO *

* AND A HEY HO HA HO HEY HO HA HO *

ME CUSTOMERS COWERING IN FEAR?

HELP US.

[gasp]

THE KRUSTY KRAB A FILTHY MESS!

[sliding door opens] ring!

ORDER NUMBER 20 READY FOR PICK UP.

AND SOME STRANGER COOKING KRABBY PATTIES!

SQUIDWARD SLEEPING ON THE JOB!

OKAY, THAT'S ACTUALLY NORMAL.

SPONGEBOB!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME KRUSTY KRAB?

I WAS JUST FOLLOWING SQUIDWARD'S ADVICE, MR. KRABS.

HE TOLD ME ALL YOUR SECRETS.

ALL ME SECRETS?

[laughing]

SO IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU,

ACTING MANAGER SPONGEBOB?

AH!

AH, GWENEVERE!

[kissing and whining]

[snoring]

[joyful Russian music]

* *

[upbeat guitar strumming]

* *

[snoring]

[phone rings]

AAAHH!

[sigh]

HELLO?

HEY, SPONGEBOB. HOW'S IT GOING?

OH, HIYA, SANDY.

HEY, LISTEN.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD COME BY TONIGHT.

SURE. WHAT'S UP?

I WHIPPED UP A NEW INVENTION

THAT I'M GONNA UNVEIL TONIGHT IN FRONT OF MY COMRADES,

AND I NEED YOU TO BE MY TEST SUBJECT.

I WILL BE THERE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET, ARE YOU?

OF COURSE NOT. HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN BEFORE?

plop!

HELLO?

JUST BE HERE!

WITH GARY AS MY WITNESS,

I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN, MISS CHEEKS!

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN. I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

[thumps]

HOW THE BARNACLES DO YOU PUT THIS THING TOGETHER?

[angry babbling]

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN. MORNIN' CAPT'N.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN, DOWN.

I WON'T LET SANDY DOWN.

RIGHT AFTER WORK, I'M GOING STRAIGHT OVER TO SANDY'S,

WHO I'M NOT GONNA LET DOWN. BOY!

YES, SIR.

I'VE GOT A SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU.

THIS IS A BUILD-IT-YOURSELF TELESCOPE.

ONLY PROBLEM IS,

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT THE DARN THING TOGETHER.

THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.

"TELESCOPE ASSEMBLY MANUAL."

NOW READ THIS COVER TO COVER

AND BE PREPARED TO PUT THIS THING TOGETHER AT ME HOUSE

TONIGHT. TONIGHT?

THAT'S NOT GONNA BE A PROBLEM, IS IT?

UM, WELL, ACTUALLY--

EXCELLENT!

BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING

AT YOUR ANNUAL EMPLOYEE REPORT CARD,

AND IT APPEARS

THE "DOES A LABORIOUS TASK FOR SUPERVISOR" BOX

HAS NOT BEEN CHECKED.

[gasps]

SEE YOU TONIGHT.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU MADE THE COMMITMENTS. YOU'LL HAVE TO HONOR THEM--

BOTH OF THEM. WHO YOU TALKING TO, BUDDY?

[ukulele music]

AH!

OH, HIYA, PATRICK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?

UH, SORRY TO DISTURB YOU DURING WORK HOURS,

BUT I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY.

NO NEED TO REMIND ME.

I WOULDN'T FORGET MY BEST BUDDY'S BIRTHDAY.

THEN WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING THE WORDS?

WHAT WORDS?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

IT'S TODAY! MY BIRTHDAY IS TODAY!

AND YOU SURELY MUST REMEMBER

WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRING TO MY BIRTHDAY, RIGHT?

UH-- MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRING MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!

TONIGHT? YES, TONIGHT!

OH, WHEN ELSE AM I GONNA CELEBRATE IT?

AT LEAST I HAD THE COURTESY TO START MY PARTY

AFTER MY BEST FRIEND GOT OFF WORK.

SEE YOU TONIGHT...

BUDDY.

OH, NEPTUNE.

THIS IS WORSE THAN I EVER COULD'VE IMAGINED.

[clock ticking]

[high-pitched whistling]

RIGHT.

TIME TO BE ALL I CAN BE.

[dramatic music]

[violin music]

[all talking softly]

MAN, THESE PEOPLE SURE LOOK SCIENCEY.

SANDY MUST BE PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS FOR THIS ONE.

[motor whirring]

HEY, SANDY, WHAT YOU DOING?

OH, HEY, SPONGEBOB.

JUST PUTTING THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON MY NEW INVENTION.

THANKS FOR ASSISTING ME. YOU'RE SUCH A BIG HELP.

NO WONDER MR. KRABS RELIES ON YOU SO HEAVILY.

[gasp]

[thinking] I'VE GOT TO HELP MR. KRABS.

HEY, SANDY?

I GOTTA RUN TO THE, UH, GENTS ROOM.

NOW IF I FINISH UP WITH MR. KRABS,

THAT'LL FREE ME UP TO ASSIST SANDY.

[knocking at door]

SPONGEBOB!

I KNEW I WOULDN'T HAVE TO FIRE YOU.

YOU CAN RELY ON ME, SIR.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO JEOPARDIZE MY EMPLOYEE RECORD.

[nervous laugh]

OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.

OH, IT SAYS HERE ON PAGE 472, SECTION C-17,

THAT YOU NEED A RIGHT-ANGLED MOTORIZED HEX DRILL

TO ASSEMBLE THIS THING.

REALLY?

WHY DON'T YOU HEAD INTO TOWN

AND PICK UP ONE OF THOSE HEX DRILL DEALIES?

I--

OR YOU CAN SIT THERE

AND WATCH ME FILL OUT YOUR EMPLOYEE REPORT CARD.

[door closing] [panting]

[birds chirping] HUH?

"DEAR VALUED TOM'S TOOLERY CUSTOMERS,

"WE ARE CLOSED THIS WEEK IN OBSERVANCE OF PORPOISE DAY.

PLEASE CALL AGAIN."

BARNACLES! WHERE CAN I FIND A MOTORIZED HEX DRILL NOW?

JUST FINISHIN' UP HERE. SANDY!

UH, OH, HEY, PATRICK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN TOWN?

I WAS JUST BUYING SOME BIRTHDAY HATS

FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

YOU DIDN'T FORGET MY PARTY, DID YOU?

FORGET-- [nervous laugh]

HOW COULD I FORGET MY BEST BUDDY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, HUH?

WELL, YOU ALREADY FORGOT ONE THING.

[nervous laugh] NO, I HAVEN'T.

HAVE I?

HELLO? MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!

OH, YEAH, THAT!

I WAS, UM, JUST GETTING TO THAT.

THAT'S WHY I WAS HERE IN TOWN, YEAH.

[chuckling] FORGET YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE.

YOU ARE HILARIOUS, STAR. YOU REALLY ARE.

NOW YOU JUST GO HOME,

AND I'M GONNA GO GET YOUR CAKE, YOU SILLY GUY, YOU.

HI, I NEED A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

THIS IS WHAT I GOT.

"SORRY ABOUT THE SCABIES."

UM, CAN YOU CHANGE IT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

[sighs] DO YOU WANT IT OR NOT?

I HAVEN'T GOT ALL NIGHT.

YEAH, NEITHER DO I.

[panting]

SANDY'S DRILL!

[all talking]

SPONGEBOB! OH! HI!

I WAS JUST--

MAKING SURE YOU HAVE ALL YOUR HARDWARE.

THAT'S AN UNUSUAL GETUP.

OH, I THOUGHT I'D BE...

A LITTLE FESTIVE, YOU KNOW, FOR THE SCIENTISTS.

AND THE BIRTHDAY CAKE?

UH-- [nervous laugh]

GREETINGS, MY DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES.

TONIGHT YOU WILL WITNESS AN INVENTION SO REVOLUTIONARY

IT MAY CHANGE MODERN SCIENCE FOREVER.

NOW TO DEMONSTRATE,

MY ASSISTANT HERE WILL DISROBE AND ENTER THE MACHINE.

WHAT?

SOME OF YOU MAY BE WONDERING

WHY THE TEST SUBJECT IS DISROBING.

IT'S BECAUSE-- [gasp]

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR GOWN?

OH, MUST BE THAT SPICY KELP I ATE EARLIER.

I'VE GOT TO USE THE LABORATORY.

I'LL BE RIGHT PAT--BACK.

BACK--I'LL BE RIGHT--

[knocking] HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

YOU FINALLY MADE IT!

YEAH, BIG TRAFFIC STORM.

WELL, JUST LEAVE MY PRESENT OVER ON THE PRESENT TABLE.

YOUR PRESENT?

I'M SO EXCITED I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A WHOLE YEAR!

OH, I'VE GOT IT! IT'S RIGHT THERE.

TA DAH!

ALL WRAPPED AND READY TO GO.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, BUDDY?

SERVE UP THE CAKE SO I CAN TEAR INTO THAT PRESENT.

THE CAKE! I MUST'VE LEFT IT AT SANDY'S.

YOU TOOK IT TO SANDY'S? NO!

I SAID, UH, "THE BAKERY DELIVERS,

ISN'T THAT HANDY?"

IN FACT, I THINK I HEAR THEM OUTSIDE.

WAIT RIGHT THERE WHILE I GO CHECK.

[panting]

SPONGEBOB.

BARNACLES.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY.

NOW LET'S CONTINUE THE DEMONSTRATION.

I GIVE YOU...

[all gasp] THE PROTO-GENERATOR 2000.

[applause]

THIS DEVICE GIVES A SINGLE LABORER

THE PRODUCTIVITY OF FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,

UP TO EIGHT WORKERS, WHICH IS GREAT FOR MANAGEMENT.

BUT IT'S ALSO A BOON FOR THE WORKER

BECAUSE THEY'LL ALWAYS GET HIGH MARKS

ON THEIR EMPLOYEE REPORT CARDS

I WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR EMPLOYEE REPORT CARD.

AH, THE TELESCOPE!

WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY, I SHALL INITIATE PROTO-SEQUENCE.

UH, SANDY, I HATE TO DELAY THE PROCEEDINGS,

BUT, UM, I FORGOT TO MAIL IN

THIS MAIL-IN REBATE, AND...

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OKAY, LET'S GET STARTED, MR. KRABS.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CLOTHES, BOY?

UH, SARDINES.

YEAH, I WAS ATTACKED BY A CAN OF WILD SARDINES.

NOW LET'S FINISH THIS TELESCOPE.

[accordion music]

BOY?

[metal rattling]

HOLD ON, BOY.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE USING THAT MOTORIZED HEX DRILL.

WHERE IS IT?

[gasp] I LEFT IT AT PATRICK'S ROCK.

PATRICK'S ROCK?

WHAT'S IT DOIN' THERE?

SPONGEBOB, WAIT!

GET BACK HERE, BOY!

[panting]

SPONGEBOB, WHY ARE YOUR CLOTHES INVISIBLE?

NEVER MIND THAT.

CAN I PLEASE BORROW YOUR PRESENT?

NO, NO! NO, YOU CAN'T BORROW MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

NOT EVEN FOR A MINUTE?

NO, NOT UNTIL THEY DELIVER MY BIRTHDAY CAKE.

[puffing] OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HOLD ON! WHERE YOU GOING?

[panting]

I'M HERE. [panting]

HOLD IT!

WHERE'S MY LITTLE ASSISTANT GOING THIS TIME?

YOUR LITTLE ASSISTANT?

THAT'S MY ASSISTANT YOU'RE TALKING TO.

WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?

YEAH, I'D LIKE TO KNOW ALSO.

WHAT KINDA BIRTHDAY PRESENT IS THIS?

HEY, SPONGEBOB WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING THAT TO ME!

THAT LOOKS LIKE MY POWER DRILL.

YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF EXPLAININ' TO DO, MISTER.

[all screaming] I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. I'VE GOT SOMETHING--

I HAVE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

[all gasp]

[breathless]

I KNOW YOU ALL HAD IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON TONIGHT:

MR. KRABS WITH YOUR TELESCOPE;

PATRICK, YOUR BIRTHDAY;

AND SANDY, YOU HAD THIS BIG PRESENTATION.

I JUST COULDN'T SAY NO TO ANY OF YOU.

AW, YOU OVEREXTENDED YOURSELF.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

WE COULD'VE WORKED SOMETHING OUT.

AW, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.

IT WAS SILLY TO THINK I COULD BE IN THREE PLACES AT ONCE.

NONSENSE, SPONGEBOB. OF COURSE YOU CAN,

IF YOU'LL JUST STEP INTO THE PROTO-GENERATOR 2000.

FIRST, I CLOSE THE PROTO-CHAMBER.

AND FINALLY...

[electric buzz]

[alarm beeping]

OH!

OH!

AS YOU CAN SEE,

I'VE PRODUCED TWO CLONES OF MY SUBJECT

WHICH WILL ALLOW HIM TO HONOR ALL THE COMMITMENTS

HE'S MADE THIS EVENING.

[cheers and applause]

DID YOU HEAR THAT, SPONGEBOB?

YOU CAN BE IN THREE PLACES AT ONCE NOW.

[snoring]

[lilting ukulele music]

* *

[kids laughing]