Original subtitles

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

* OHH... *

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

* *

[waves crashing]

[cheerful string music]

* *

UNGH!

OKAY, SPONGEBOB, IT'S YOUR TURN. I'M READY!

OKAY, PATRICK, HERE I COME.

WHOA!

NICE LANDING.

[grunts]

DARN. I MISSED.

SPONGEBOB, LOOK OUT FOR MY BODY!

UGH!

OOF. AHH!

PATRICK, MAYBE WE SHOULD PLAY

SOMETHING THAT INVOLVES LESS THINKING.

OKAY.

HEY, MAYBE WE CAN PLAY A GAME

WITH THIS BALL THAT WAS BURIED UNDER HERE.

BALL! LET ME SEE IT.

WHAT A WEIRD BALL.

WELL, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT'S--AHH!

MOTHER OF NEPTUNE!

GET IT AWAY FROM ME! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, SPONGEBOB.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE WORM.

SEE?

YOU'RE RIGHT, PATRICK.

I'M SORRY WE DESTROYED YOUR NEST, LITTLE WORM.

I PROMISE IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

LOOK, PATRICK.

LOOKS LIKE HE'S TAKEN A FANCY TO YOU.

YEAH. HEY!

WHY DON'T WE INVITE MR. WORMSLEY TO STAY AT MY PLACE,

AT LEAST UNTIL HIS NEST GROWS BACK?

THAT SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL.

GARY.

[knocks] MAKE YOURSELF DECENT.

[laughs] YOU HAVE A VISITOR.

GARY, WAKE UP.

THAT'S RIGHT. JUST BRING HIM IN HERE.

CAREFUL. CAREFUL, NOW. THAT'S RIGHT.

MEOW. OH, HI, GARY.

ARE YOU READY TO MEET YOUR NEW FRIEND?

MEOW? THAT'S RIGHT.

SAY HELLO TO MR. WORMSLEY.

[hissing] [barking]

[barking and hissing continues]

SOMETHING TELLS ME THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.

COME ON, NOW. GUYS, COME ON.

LET'S TOUCH SOFT PARTS IN A FRIENDLY MANNER.

[both growling] SEE?

YOU'RE JUST SAYING HI.

THAT'S IT. THERE YOU GO.

THAT'S IT.

OH, I KNEW YOU COULD GET ALONG.

THERE, THERE, THERE YOU GO. SEE? FRIENDS.

[yowling] OW!

OH, MY GOODNESS!

PATRICK! OW, OW!

PATRICK, PLEASE, DO SOMETHING!

[screaming]

UH, SPONGEBOB, I GOT TO GET GOING.

I'LL CHECK IN ON YOU LATER

AND SEE HOW YOUR NEW PET IS DOING, OKAY?

OKAY, PATRICK. SEE YOU LATER.

OH! GET IT OFF ME!

SOMEBODY, PLEASE! PLEASE!

click!

ALL RIGHT, GARY,

JUST SO THERE ISN'T ANY MORE UPSET,

I'M GOING TO ASK THAT YOU SLEEP ON THE GUEST NEWSPAPER TONIGHT.

AND MR. WORMSLEY IS GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN HERE WITH ME.

[growling]

NOW, NOW, GARY.

THERE'S NO NEED FOR PROTEST.

SEE? I FIXED IT UP ALL NICE FOR YOU.

THERE YOU ARE.

NIGHT, GAR.

[whimpers]

[howling]

[howling]

UGH.

SOUNDS LIKE PATRICK IS HAVING ONE OF HIS NIGHT FITS AGAIN.

I'LL JUST CLOSE THE WINDOW.

[howling]

MR. WORMSLEY!

[dramatic music]

[howling]

WHOA!

I-I-I'LL BE BACK, MR. WORMSLEY.

I'M GONNA GO GET HELP.

WHATEVER'S WRONG WITH YOU, DON'T MOVE.

JUST, UH, READ THE SPORTS SECTION OR SOMETHING.

HE'S IN HERE.

NO, I CAN'T LOOK.

SPONGEBOB?

YES?

SOMETHIN' TELLS ME

MR. WORMSLEY IS ACTUALLY A MRS. WORMSLEY.

[babies murmur]

[gasp]

OH, PATRICK, IT'S A MIRACLE.

THAT...IT IS.

WAIT TILL GARY SEES!

YEAH, WAIT TILL--

SEE, GAR? THEY'RE RIGHT IN HERE.

QUIET, NOW. THEY WERE BORN LESS THAN--

[meowing]

[growling]

[growling]

[meowing and barking]

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE STILL NOT QUITE USED TO EACH OTHER.

WELL, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.

both: DUCK AND COVER!

[yowling and barking]

[thumping] [barking and yowling]

THIS TOWN IS GETTING TOO ROUGH FOR ME.

[thumping] [barking and yowling]

[meowing]

[squealing]

[lazy steel guitar music]

* *

HE'S CHASED HER AWAY.

NOW WHO WILL CARE FOR HER ABANDONED LITTER

OF ADORABLE NEWBORN INFANTS?

WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM.

OH, NO WAY, PATRICK.

I'VE NEVER SEEN GARY THAT UPSET.

GA--WHO? NOPE.

YOU AND I ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO FIND LOVING HOMES

FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THESE LITTLE GUYS.

RIGHT, PATRICK? [door slams]

PATRICK?

[knocking at door]

DON'T WORRY, LITTLE GUYS,

SQUIDWARD'S A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE,

AND HE REALLY LIKES PETS.

SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S 7:00 IN THE MORNING?

SQUIDWARD, I CAME HERE WITH A SPECIAL SURPRISE.

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S 7:00 IN THE MORNING?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR VERY OWN PET BABY WORM?

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S-- A WHAT?

BABY WORM. SEE?

AREN'T THEY JUST ADORABLE AT THAT AGE?

SO HOW MANY DID YOU WANT?

[doorbell buzzing]

YES?

OH, IT'S YOU, SPONGEBOB.

[doorbell buzzing] WHAT ARE YOU, UH, DOING HERE?

[laughing]

NOT THAT A TEACHER'S MOST ENTHUSIASTIC STUDENT

ISN'T WELCOME IN HER HOUSE.

[doorbell buzzing]

[sighs]

GOOD MORNING, MRS. PUFF.

IT ALMOST WAS.

WOULD YOU LIKE A BABY WORM?

A WHAT? AAAAAAHH!

I-I'LL JUST COME BACK LATER, MRS. PUFF.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

I HATE MONDAYS.

DON'T WORRY, LITTLE WORMS.

I KNOW A PLACE WE CAN GO TO FIND HOMES

FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

GOOD MORNING, MA'AM. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

COULD I INTEREST YOU IN SOME-- MA'AM?

[whistling]

THAT WHISTLING.

IT'S--LARRY LOBSTER!

HI, LARRY. WHAT YOU UP TO?

DO I KNOW YOU?

PROBABLY NOT.

I WAS JUST PICKING UP SOME DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS

HERE AT THE SUPERMARKET.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY CHEST AND BUNS.

SO I SEE.

WELL, CATCH YOU LATER.

OH, LARRY, WAIT.

NO TIME NOW.

SOMEWHERE THERE'S SAND THAT NEEDS KICKING.

OKAY.

I WAS JUST GONNA SEE IF YOU WANTED ONE OF THESE POOR,

LONELY BABY WORMS.

BABY WORMS? WELL YEAH, I--

I'LL TAKE 'EM OFF YOUR HANDS.

REALLY? SURE, WHY NOT?

THAT'S JUST WHAT THE NUTRITIONIST ORDERED:

RAW PROTEIN. LARRY, NO!

OOF!

DUDE, NICE HUSTLE.

[babies murmur]

[horn honking]

[bloodcurdling scream]

[screaming unintelligibly]

[inhales] ERR.

AAHH!

[babies whimpering]

[groaning]

OH, LITTLE WORMIES.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE.

NOW, LETS GO SEE ABOUT FINDING YOU THOSE HOMES I PROMISED.

[phone ringing]

YELLO? SPONGEBOB, IT'S MR. KRABS.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

YOU'RE THREE HOURS LATE FOR WORK!

AAAAAAH!

HELLO?

[breathless] I'M SORRY, MR. KRABS.

I CAME AS QUICK AS I COULD.

SPONGEBOB, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE FEELING SHIPSHAPE?

[stammers]

I'M SORRY, MR. KRABS.

MY PET WORM HAD BABIES THEN GOT CHASED AWAY,

AND NOW I GOTTA FIND 'EM ALL A PLACE TO LIVE.

BABIES? YEAH.

LET ME SEE.

REALLY? YEAH, COME ON.

LET ME SEE 'EM. I LIKE BABIES.

WELL, OKAY.

[cooing] HEY, THERE, LITTLE CRITTERS.

COME TO--

AW, HE LIKES YOU.

GET THAT DISGUSTING VERMIN OUTTA ME RESTAURANT, PRONTO.

[whimpering]

BLEH!

OH, WELL.

AT LEAST I STILL HAVE YOU GUYS.

[sniffing] HMMM.

WHAT IS IT?

I'D RECOGNIZE THIS GOO ANYWHERE.

IT COMES FROM A BABY SPOTTED GLISTENING MEADOW WORM,

THE RAREST OF ITS SPECIES.

DUDE, THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH A FORTUNE.

DID YOU SAY, "FORTUNE"?

ka-ching!

$5.99.

THAT'S RIGHT, GET 'EM WHILE THEY LAST.

DON'T BE SHY, FOLKS.

THESE THINGS ARE SO CUTE.

ENJOY YOUR NEW HOME, LITTLE GUY.

ISN'T HE JUST ADORABLE?

[laughs] [crowd cheers]

THAT SURE WAS A GREAT IDEA YOU HAD, MR. KRABS.

WELL, IT'S LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY

BACK IN THE OLD COUNTRY, LAD.

WHAT'S THAT? I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE OLD COUNTRY!

[both laughing]

[upbeat steel guitar music]

* *

OH, COME ON, KAREN. PLEASE.

WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW--

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH CHUM BUCKET FARE.

WHY, LOOK.

HERE'S A FRESH BATCH OF A DELICIOUS NEW CHUM SAUCE.

IT'S CALLED SPICY CHUM SURPRISE.

UH...

[dramatic scream]

DELECTABLE.

OH, I'M SURE IT WILL BE A HUGE SUCCESS.

[beeping]

SORRY, NO TIME FOR YOUR SENSELESS CHATTER.

I'VE GOT A CUSTOMER TO ATTEND TO.

OKAY, SO,

WHAT ABOUT THE KRABBY KOLA?

WE DON'T SERVE KRABBY KOLA.

WE CARRY BUCKET BUBBLER AND CHUM CHERRY BLAST.

OKAY, WELL THEN, CAN I JUST MAKE SURE

I GET THOSE KRABBY FRIES WITH EXTRA KRABBY SAUCE?

[sigh]

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT?

WE DON'T CARRY KRABBY FRIES,

WE DON'T CARRY KRABBY KOLA,

WE DON'T CARRY KRABBY SAUCE,

AND WE DON'T CARRY KRABBY PATTIES!

SO IF YOU WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THE KRUSTY KRAB,

WHICH IS LOCATED DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET.

THANKS FOR THE DIRECTIONS. ANY TIME.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

HONESTLY, I DON'T THINK ANYONE IN BIKINI BOTTOM WOULD KNOW

A DECENT MEAL IF IT LOOKED THEM RIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID,

"HELLO, I'M A DECENT MEAL. WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU.

"PLEASE, PAY MONEY FOR ME AND THEN PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH

"SO YOUR OLD PAL PLANKTON DOESN'T LOSE EVERYTHING

HE'S SPENT HIS ENTIRE LIFE WORKING FOR!"

YEAH, AND IF ANYONE EVER DID ORDER ONE OF YOUR MEALS,

IT PROBABLY WOULD LOOK THEM IN THE EYE.

YOU KNOW, KAREN, SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU'RE HERE

TO HELP ME RUN THE CHUM BUCKET

OR JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M TWO INCHES TALL.

ding!

MAYBE IN HEELS.

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,

YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER TO BLINK.

OH, COME ON.

WHEN WE FIRST MET, YOU WERE LITTLE MORE

THAN A JUMBLED MASS OF DIODES AND WIRES.

I MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE TODAY,

LITERALLY.

SO DON'T THINK YOU COULDN'T BE REPLACED IN A HEARTBEAT.

OW!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MY EYE IS BURNING, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!

BLINK.

OH, YEAH. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

NOW WHERE WAS I?

YOU WERE THREATENING TO REPLACE ME.

OH, YEAH. I DON'T NEED YOU!

I COULD MAKE A WHOLE ARMY OF COMPUTERS

THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP ME STEAL THE FORMULA.

OH, PUH-LEEZ.

I'LL SHOW YOU, WOMAN.

OH, KAREN?

[romantic music]

NOW WHAT.

COULD YOU COME HERE FOR A MOMENT?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

FEAST YOUR... UH...

SCREEN ON THIS.

[triumphant music]

* *

THAT'S MY REPLACEMENT?

IT'S A TOASTER.

HA, HA, HA!

THAT, MY DEAR, IS A T-119A COMPUMATIC.

THE FINEST OF ITS KIND.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

GOOD MORNING, T-119A!

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.

[triumphant music]

NEXT, BEHOLD

THE NOXIOUS ENTERPRISES SUPER SP-U31

LIQUID-COOLED MOBILE PROCESSING UNIT.

A MIND-STAGGERING COMBINATION OF BOTH POWER AND REFINEMENT.

[machine whirrs]

clunk! clunk!

[machine whirring]

THAT'LL HELP YOU GET THE FORMULA.

AND NOW, KAREN, THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE.

[triumphant music]

HAVE YOU EVER WITNESSED SUCH MARVELOUS MACHINERY?

IT SORT OF JUST LOOKS LIKE AN OLD HAIR DRYER

TAPED TO THE BACK OF A MINIATURE WINDMILL.

I COULD SEE HOW SOMEONE AT YOUR LEVEL

OF TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE WOULD THINK THAT, KAREN.

BUT IN ACTUALITY WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT IS--

OH, RIGHT.

I DON'T RECALL YOU EVER HAVING REASON

TO OWN A HAIR DRYER, PLANKTON.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME GET THE PICTURE DOWN AGAIN?

WHAT PICTURE?

YOU SEE?

PLENTY OF REASON TO BE USING A HAIR DRYER.

WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?

BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID--

[clunking]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

DEAR NEPTUNE!

KAREN, DO SOMETHING.

QUICK!

THEY'RE TEARING EACH OTHER APART.

JUST PRESS A BUTTON OR SOMETHING.

[continuous beeping]

NOT THAT ONE!

[alarm rings]

AAAAAH!

[thumping]

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT STRATEGY DIDN'T FALL FLAT.

YOU KNOW, KAREN, WITH YOU AROUND

I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER HOW I'M STILL ALIVE.

OH, SO IT'S MY FAULT, IS IT?

THAT'S RIGHT! NOW IT'S ALL CLEAR.

IT'S YOU WHO'VE BEEN HOLDING ME BACK.

IN FACT, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR CONSTANT STIFLING,

I'D HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD RUNNING FOR THE SAFETY OF THEIR MOMMIES!

YOU AND YOUR CRACK TEAM OF ROBOTS, HUH?

[mechanic noises]

MAYBE I COULD IRON OUT A FEW BUGS.

BUT THEN YOU'LL SEE JUST HOW MUCH I NEED YOU.

KAREN?

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S WORDS ON PAPER.

IT SAYS, "DEAR PLANKTON,

"I'VE LOGGED ONTO ANOTHER NETWORK.

"I JUST CAN'T GO INTO SLEEP MODE AT NIGHT

"KNOWING THAT YOU'LL CONTINUE BLAMING ME

"FOR ALL OF YOUR FAILURES.

"ANYWAY, YOU'RE A GROWN SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISM

"AND ALLOWED TO MAKE YOUR OWN SYNTAX ERRORS.

NICE KNOWING YOU. --KAREN."

HA! WHO NEEDS HER?

NOT ME.

I'M GOING TO STEAL THAT KRABBY PATTY FORMULA

FROM MR. KRABS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S MADE THE ERROR.

[laughing maniacally]

OW!

"P.S.: DON'T FORGET TO BLINK."

OH, YEAH.

OKAY, TEAM.

LISTEN UP.

WE'RE ON OUR OWN NOW,

SO WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING HOLDING US BACK.

NOW, I KNOW YOU ALL LOOK UPON ME KINDLY SINCE I AM YOUR CREATOR,

BUT THE LAST THING THE CHUM BUCKET NEEDS

IF WE ARE GOING TO BE VICTORIOUS IS A BUNCH OF SOFT--

UH, SOFTWARE.

DOES EVERYBODY UNDERSTAND?

[mechanic bubbling]

ding!

I SAID, "DOES EVERYBODY UNDERSTAND?"

[motor whirs]

ALL RIGHT, THEN. LET'S DO THIS!

T-119A TO POSITION.

SP-U31 TO POSITION!

[zooming]

COMMAND MODULE TO POSITION!

[motor whirring]

[laughing]

NOW LET'S SEE KRABS STOP THIS.

I'LL SHOW HIM.

I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!

[diabolic laughter]

THIS JUST IN.

A DIABOLICAL ALBEIT HAPHAZARDLY THROWN TOGETHER MACHINE

IS ATTACKING BIKINI BOTTOM

AND IS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE KRUSTY KRA--

WHY IS THE LOCAL NEWS ALWAYS SUCH RUBBISH?

HEY, SQUIDWARD, LOOK!

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT A WAY TO GET MY MOP WET

WITHOUT DIPPING IT IN THE BUCKET.

SPONGEBOB, NOBODY CARES ABOUT--

[rumbling]

[approaching thumping]

[laughing]

HEY!

KRABS, I WANNA SEE YOU.

OH, OKAY, BOY. GET OUT THERE.

UM, HELLO.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, ROBOT THING, SIR?

OH, HEY, PLANKTON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M HERE FOR THE SECRET FORMULA, YOU TWIT.

I WANT YOU TO GO IN THERE AND TELL KRABS

THAT IF HE DOESN'T TURN OVER THE FORMULA TO ME,

HE WILL BE SUBJECTED TO UTTER ANNIHILATION AT MY--

ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

MM-HMM.

UGH! MORON.

OKAY, I'LL MAKE IT SIMPLE.

KRABS GIVE ME SECRET FORMULA,

OR I BRING BIG BOOM-BOOM TO KRUSTY KRAB.

GOT IT?

KRABS GIVE ME SECRET FORMULA, OR--

WHAT WAS THAT OTHER THING?

ARGH, FORGET IT!

BRING ON THE BOOM-BOOM!

[laughing]

BATTLE STATIONS, MEN! HERE HE COMES!

[alarm blaring]

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED!

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

LATER.

[diabolic laughter]

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

[laughing]

BWAH-HOO-HOO!

[crying]

OH, CURSE YOU, CRUEL FATE!

ONCE AGAIN, YOU'VE LEFT ME COVERED

IN THE STICKY GOO OF MY OWN FOLLY.

ONLY THIS TIME...[gasps] I'M ALL ALONE.

[crying]

[clearing throat] [gasps]

KAREN!

YOU'VE COME BACK TO ME.

ACTUALLY, I JUST CAME TO GET MY KEYBOARD.

OH, I KNEW YOU COULDN'T STAY AWAY.

I KNEW IT.

[sigh] RIGHT.

LET ME GUESS: ANOTHER FAILURE?

WHAT'RE YA GONNA DO?

MACHINES THESE DAYS, RIGHT?

UH, LISTEN, SWEETIE,

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID.

THE TRUTH IS, I COULD NEVER REPLACE YOU, HONEY BUNCH.

LET'S GO HOME, HUH?

[sigh] OKAY.

HEY, I COULD WHIP US UP A LITTLE DINNER.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE YOU AGAIN?

OR WE COULD GO OUT. THAT'D BE FUN TOO.

[lilting ukulele music]

* *

[kids laughing]