Original subtitles

ARE YA READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH... ♪

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪Captain: READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[PENNYWHISTLE PLAYS]

[WAVES CRASHING... GULLS SQUAWKING]

Captioning Provided By MTV NETWORKS

[♪...]

[CLEARING THROAT]

[CLEARING THROAT CONTINUES]

[LOUD HACKING]

MAY I HELP YOU?

WELL...

IT'S ALMOST QUITTIN' TIME, SQUIDWARD.

[SIGHS]

GOT ANY BIG PLANS FOR AFTER WORK?

NOPE.

[GROANING]: GRR...

HEY, SQUIDWARD.

PRETTY INCREDIBLE SHIFT, HUH?

IF YOU SAY SO.

ANY PLANS AFTER WORK?

NO.

YEAH, ME NEITHER.

JUST GONNA BE HANGIN' AT "CASA DE SPONGE".

FEEL FREE TO DROP BY IF YOU'RE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

[GIGGLING]

HEY SQUIDWARD, WAIT UP.

SQUIDWARD, I REALIZE THAT I DIDN'T REALLY EXTEND

A PROPER INVITATION BACK THERE.

SO WHAT DO YA SAY, SQUIDWARD?

HOW 'BOUT YOU COME OVER TO MY HOUSE FOR A VISIT TONIGHT?

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD?

SQUIDWARD, SQUIDWARD?

SPONGEBOB, THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR THAT LOVELY INVITATION

BUT I MUST RESPECTFULLY TELL YOU

I WILL NEVER VISIT YOU.

EVER!

[CRASHING]

TAKE HEART, SQUIDWARD.

IT'LL ALL BE OVER SOON.

[SOBBING]: OHH...

PLEASECOME OVER FOR A VISIT, SQUIDWARD.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR LAST VISIT.

THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER VISITED YOU.

[SOBBING]: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...

PLEASE!

PLEASE...

PLEASE?

PLEASE?

PLEASE, PLEASE-PLEASE...

PLEASE, PLEASE-PLEASE.

[SOBBING]: PLEASE...

PLEASE... PLEASE.

OK, SQUIDWARD, MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.

French Man: 24 HOURS LATER.

[SIGHS]

HEY-O SQUIDWARD.

YOU GOT ANY...

BEFORE YOU ASK ME THAT QUESTION

ASK YOURSELF THIS:

WHY WOULD I LEAVE THE COMFORT OF MYHOME

WHAT IF I GOT A COUPLE FOR YOURDIRTY OF THROW PILLOWS?

PATRICK, HAS SQUIDWARD EVER VISITED YOU AT HOME?

ONLY ONCE.

TO TAKE BACK SOME STUFF I BORROWED.

HE SAID HE WOULDN'T LEAVE THE COMFORT OF HIS OWN HOME

FOR MY DIRTY LITTLE HOVEL.

BORROW SOMETHING, THEN HE'LL HAVE TO COME OVER TO GET IT BACK.

AH!

WELL... HEY, THANKS FOR LETTING ME PLAY PUZZLE WITH YOU.

SEE YA LATER.

THAT'S IT.

Squidward: A STICK OF BUTTER

AND JUST A TOUCH OF PEPPER.

GAH! [HAMMERING]

NOT ON THE RUG.

[GROANING]: OH.

SPONGEBOB, WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN? [HAMMERING AND SAWING]

I AM TRYING TO COOK.

OH HEY, SQUIDWARD.

JUST DOING A LITTLE HOME IMPROVEMENT.

WELL, YOU MADE ME SPILL PEPPER ALL OVER MY IMPORTED RUG.

[CHUCKLES]: OK, SQUIDWARD.

[SIGHS]

SPONGEBOB.

NEED THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB.

HUH?

SpongeBob: "DEAR SQUIDWARD...

THANKS FOR LENDING ME YOUR VACUUM CLEANER.

SINCERELY, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS."

OH, P.S.

[LAUGHING]: BAH...

BAH...

BAH...

[RINGING]

SQUAREPANTS RESIDENCE.

WHY DO YOU HAVE MY VACUUM CLEANER?

SQUIDWARD.

IT'S BEEN QUITE A WHILE SINCE I LAST GOT A CALL

FROM MY FAVORITE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR.

THAT'S BECAUSE I'VE NEVERCALLED YOU.

NOW, WHY HAVE YOU STOLEN MY VACUUM CLEANER?

I DIDN'T STEAL IT, SILLY, I BORROWED IT.

ARE YOU DONE CLEANING UP THAT DINGY HOLE YOU CALL HOME?

YOU WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE THE PLACE, SQUIDWARD [CHUCKLES].

YEAH, PROBABLY NOT.

[BREATHING HEAVY]

[SIGHS]

I'LL BE OVER TO GET MY VACUUM IN 20 MINUTES.

OH, SQUIDWARD IS FINALLY COMING FOR A VISIT.

[MUTTERING GIBBERISH]: SASSA FRASSIN MALA POOKIN TARNY RASSER...

SQUIDWARD, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.

WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE.

I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FIND COMFORT

AND PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO ASK ME IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT I CAN...

YEAH, UH-HUH, I JUST WANT MY VACUUM BACK... [GASPS]

YOU'VE MADE AN EXACT REPLICA OF MY LIVING ROOM.

WELL, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME.

SO I BROUGHT THE COMFORT HERE.

ISN'T IT GREAT [LAUGHING]?

NO, IT ISN'T.

YOU CAN'T JUST STEAL MY DECORATING STYLE AND...

[GROANING]

NEVER MIND, JUST GIVE ME MY VACUUM.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR A COOL AND REFRESHING ICED TEA?

NO. HOT HORS D'OEUVRES?

NO. NACHOS?

NO. BLANCMANGE?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

PLEASE JUST GIVE ME MY VACUUM SO I CAN GET BACK HOME.

I HAVE A CASSEROLE IN THE OVEN.

YES, OF COURSE.

PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT WHILE I GO GRAB YOUR VACUUM.

PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

[ANGRY GRUMBLING...]

ENJOYING YOUR VISIT SO FAR, SQUIDWARD?

THIS IS NOT A VISIT.

YOU ARE GOING TO GET MY VACUUM.

AND STOP FLUFFING THIS PILLOW.

OK, SQUIDWARD.

JUST YELL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

IMBECILE... [GASPS]

HOW DID HE DO IT?

HE GOT MY COFFEE TABLE, MY VASE, SNACK BOWL...

COASTERS, AND MY "ART OF THE CLARINET" COFFEE TABLE BOOK.

AND THIS PILLOW LOOKS JUST LIKE THE ONE MOMMY MADE FOR ME.

HE EVEN COPIED HER STITCH SIGNATURE.

"FOR SQUIDDY WITH LOVE, MAMA."

[GASPS]: AHH!

YOU YELLED?

NEVER MIND, I'LL FIND THE VACUUM MYSELF.

OK, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

SQUIDWARD SURE SEEMS TO BE ENJOYING HIS VISIT.

MY HALLWAY.

DEAR NEPTUNE.

HE EVEN GOT THE CHIP IN THE PAINT FROM WHEN I MOVED IN.

OK, SQUIDDY, DON'T GET CREEPED OUT.

JUST GET THE VACUUM AND GO HOME.

ALL RIGHT, ISN'T THISNEAT?

MY BATHROOM.

[FLUSHING]

I HAVE TO GIVE HIM CREDIT, THOUGH.

EVERY DETAIL IS CORRECT.

HOW DOES HE KNOW THE EXACT CONTENTS OF MY MEDICINE CABINET?

MY RASH CREAM?

THAT LITTLE SNEAK!

DID SOMEONE SAY RASH CREAM? AHH!

SPONGEBOB, YOU IDIOT!

SQUIDWARD, RASH CREAM.OW, OW, OW...

[CRASH] OOPS.

[MUFFLED SCREAM... CRASH]

OH, NO.

AWW...

HELP!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

I DON'T THINK I HAVE A CREAM FOR THAT.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

OH, WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE.

SO ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR STAY AT "CHEZ SPONGE?"

[SQUIDWARD SCREAMS]

[MUTTERING] AHH...

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT?

I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN.

[CLICKS CHEEK]

HURRY BACK, SQUIDWARD.

I GOTTA FIND THAT VACUUM AND GET OUT OF HERE.

AH!

HE COPIED ALL 492 OF MY SELF-PORTRAITS.

AND THEY'RE BETTER THAN MINE.

[CRYING... WHIMPERING]

HE EVEN GOT THE RUG RIGHT.

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, SQUIDDY, OLD BEAN.

THIS DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

THIS, THIS... ALL OF THIS IS JUST, JUST...

MIMICRY.

HE DOESN'T POSSESS YOUR STYLE

OR YOUR DECORATING ACUMEN

OR YOUR LOVE OF THE FINER THINGS.

IN FACT, THE ONLY THING HE HAS IS...

IS, IS...

MY VACUUM CLEANER.

AND I'LL REMEDY THAT

...POST-HASTE.

[GASPS] AH-HA.

HE PUT YOU IN HERE ALONG WITH ALL HIS BAD TASTE.

YOU'RE COMING HOME [GRUNTS]...

HOME... WITH ME.

[STRAINING]: WITH ME.

[SCREAMING]

[CRASHING]

SPONGEBOB!

[VACUUM POWERS ON]

[POWERS DOWN]

IS IT REALLY YOU?

[MUFFLED TRUMPET]

IT ISYOU.

MWAH, MWAH, MWAH, MWAH, MWAH.

COME ON, BABY.

YOU AND I WILL WALK OUT OF THIS HORROR SHOW

THE WAY WE WALKED INTO IT:

WITH DIGNITY AND APLOMB.

[SIREN BLARES]

MY HOUSE.

YOU JUST MISSED THE FIRE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE?

OH, SOME KNUCKLEHEAD LEFT A CASSEROLE IN THE OVEN.

SPONGE...

...BOB!

AW, DON'T WORRY, SQUIDWARD.

YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO STAY AT MY HOUSE

UNTIL YOU GET YOUR HOUSE FIXED.

WHY YES, I'D LOVE ANOTHER SPOT OF TEA, MR. VACUUM CLEANER.

CARE FOR SOME CASSEROLE?

[HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES...]

SQUIDWARD?

YOU OK?

SQUIDWARD?

SpongeBob: SQUIDWARD!

[SIGHS] AHH...

REPLICA SWEET REPLICA.

[YAWN]

IT SURE WAS GREAT HAVING SQUIDWARD OVER FOR A VISIT, AY, GARY?

[SNORING]

MEOW.

[♪...]

French Man: AH, ANOTHER QUIET DAY IN BIKINI BOTTOM.

BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY.

ONCE IT WAS HORRIBLE.

[THUNDERCLAP]

[THUNDERCLAP]

THE UNIMAGINABLE HAPPENED.

ONE DAY, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

CHANGED HIS PANTS.

[LOUD SCREAM]

[TIMER DINGS]

[♪...]

[SINGING]

I REMEMBER AS IF IT WERE YESTERDAY.

BUT IN FACT, IT HAPPENEDTHREE DAYS AGO.

[MUSIC REWINDS]

[♪...]

[GROANING]

IT'S LAUNDRY DAY, GARY.

OOPS.

MEOW.

NOW TO FINISH THE DAY'S CHORES.

[WHISTLING]

[WHISTLING CONTINUES]

[WHISTLING]

[PHONE RINGS]

[RINGS] HELLO?

HELLO, MAY I SPEAK WITH SPONGEBOB?

UH, UH...

[HALTINGLY]: SQUARE...

PANTS?

MM, SPEAKING.

HEY, HEY, YOU WANNA HEAR HOW LONG I COULD DO THIS FOR?

BLAH-LOO-BLAH-LOO-BLAH-LOO...

blah-loo-bla-loo-bla-loo...

ACTUALLY, PATRICK, I'M KIND OF BUSY, CAN IT WAIT?

BLAH-LOO-BLAH-LOO-BLAH-LOO...

NO.

BLAH-LOO-BLAH-LOO...

[Flapping tongue continues...]

[SIGHS]

MUCH LATER.

Blah-loo-blah-loo-blah-loo...

Softly: GARY, GO CHECK ON THE LAUNDRY IN THE DRYER.

OH, MEOW.

...blah-loo-blah-loo-blah-loo...

MUCHMUCH LATER...

[Flapping tongue continues...]

Uh, pretty long time, huh?

YEAH, PATRICK.

GARY?

[SIZZLING]

THEY SHRUNK!

I'M GONNA NEED TO GET NEW PANTS.

Sales Clerk: I'M SORRY, MR. SPONGEBOB, BUT WE'RE NOT EXPECTING

ANOTHER SHIPMENT OF SQUAREPANTS FOR MONTHS.

OHH...

NO, NOPE.

OOH, NOT THESE.

UNH-UNH.

[GASPS]

WHOA.

THESE PANTS HUG MY BODY

BETTER THAN MY OWN MOTHER.

HEY, PATRICK...

NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT?

POSE, POSE, POSE...

...POSE? DO I KNOW YOU?

[LAUGHING]: BAH... IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB.

SPONGEBOB?

NO YOU'RE NOT.

SPONGEBOB HAS SQUAREPANTS.

NOW LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.

PATRICK'S SO FULL OF TARTER SAUCE.

I'M STILL ME.

IT'S JUST A PAIR OF PANTS.

IT'S NOT LIKE MY FRIENDS WON'T RECOGNIZE ME.

Sandy: WELL, HOWDY, STRANGER.

I DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU IN THOSE NEW-FANGLED DUNGAREES.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

YOU MUST BE SPONGEBOB FANCY PANTS.

CLOTHES REALLY DO MAKE THE MAN.

SANDY DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME, EITHER.

THESE PANTS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN I THOUGHT.

'COURSE IT WAS JUST SANDY.

AND NEPTUNE KNOWS WHAT GOES ON INSIDE A SQUIRREL'S HEAD.

[CHATTERING]

EWW... BUT I KNOW MY BEST BUDDY SQUIDWARD WILL RECOGNIZE ME.

WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER.

♪ LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA ♪

OH, NO.

IT'S THAT LITTLE YELLOW FREAK.

[SING-SONG]: HI, SQUIDWARD.

JUST IGNORE HIM, MAYBE HE'LL GO AWAY.

[SING-SONG]: OH, SQUIDWARD.

♪ GUESS WHO? ♪

DO I KNOW YOU?

OH, SURE YOU DO, IT'S ME.

SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS?

NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

[GRUNTS] OOH.

WELL, MAYBE THESE PICTURES OF US TOGETHER WILL JOG YOUR MEMORY.

ME AND YOU AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

YOU AND ME AT WORK.

THAT LITTLE SLUMBER PARTY WE HAD LAST WEEK.

I FORGOT WHEN THIS WAS TAKEN.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE YOU?

[SIGHS]

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

HE ACTUALLY LEFT.

[LAUGHING]

WHOO-HOO-HOO! SQUIDWARD DIDN'T KNOW ME EITHER.

IT'S LIKE WE'D NEVER MET.

MAYBE PATRICK IS RIGHT.

OH, NO, IT'S LOCKED.

GARY, HEY GARY.

CAN YOU OPEN THE DOOR?

I LEFT MY KEYS IN MY OTHER PANTS.

HELLO?

CAN I HELP YOU?

PATRICK, IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB.

OH, RIGHT, YOU'RE THAT ROUND PANTS FELLOW.

PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?

YOUR HOUSE?

THIS HOUSE BELONGS TO SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

AT LEAST IT DID BEFORE HE LEFT US.

I WISH I COULD SEE HIM ONE LAST TIME.

OH, BARNACLES.

I GUESS I'M NOT SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ANYMORE.

I'LL HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

...HELLO, SIR, I'D LIKE AN APPLICATION, PLEASE.

MY NAME IS SPONGEBOB SQUARE... AHH.

[COUGHING... CLEARS THROAT]

[HACKING COUGH]

OH, WHOO, HM.

SORRY, I'M A LITTLE [HACKING]

I'M A LITTLE...[HACKING] SORRY, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

MY NAME IS SPONGEBOB ROUND...PANTS.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO SEEK EMPLOYMENT FROM THIS EATING ESTABLISHMENT.

[SQUIDWARD MOANS]

OH, DEAR, ARE YOU OK, MR. CASHIER... OOH!

HERE ARE THE APPLICATIONS.

LET'S SEE HERE.

NAME: SPONGEBOB ROUNDPANTS.

WELL, THIS IS GOING WELL.

HEY, MR. CASHIER, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE

CO-WORKERS!

[MUTTERING]

QUESTION TWO: "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?"

HM, WHAT'S A FELONY?

BEING TOO DARN HAPPY ALL THE TIME.

OH, YEAH, LOTS AND LOTS OF FELONIES.

HEH, MORON.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

I'M FILLING OUT AN APPLICATION.

GET TO WORK.

[GASPS] I GOT THE JOB?

OH, BOY.

MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.

I AM SO EXCITED.

WHOO-HOO!

WHATEVER.

YOU'VE WORKED HERE A LONG TIME.

WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THIS ROOKIE THE ROPES.

OH, I'D LOVE TO.

YAY!

WHAT, NO, DON'T...

SO WHAT DO I DO FIRST?

[SIGHS]: FINE.

TAKE A KRABBY PATTY AND PUT IT ON THE GRILL.

SHOULDN'T YOU WATCH IT?

WHY, I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING ANYWHERE.

OOH, VERY ZEN.

WHAT NEXT, OH, ORACLE OF KRABBY WISDOM?

I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM.

HM, I'LL GO TOO.

HOW'S IT GOING IN THERE, BOSS?

UM... FINE.

"GOING FINE."

[WRITING...]

[SNORING... MOANING]

OH, MR. SQUIDWARD? DAH!

WHAT'S YOU READING?

"BATHROOM BREAK", CHECK.

HERE'S THE SLOP YOU ORDERED... ENJOY.

IF YOU CAN CHOKE IT DOWN.

[LAUGHING]: HA, HA-HA-HA.

"BE RUDE TO CUSTOMER AND INSULT FOOD.

NASALLY LAUGH."

COULD I GET A KRABBY PATTY COMBO?

NO.

HOW 'BOUT A DOUBLE KRABBY PATTY? NO.

CAN I GET A TRIPLE PATTY WITH CHEESE?

OH, I THINK YOU'VE HAD WAYTOO MANY OF THOSE.

[NASALLY LAUGHING]

TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

[SNORING]

[SNORING]: OH, OOH...

[ALL COMPLAINING...]

[LAUGHING]

Customer: COME ON. I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

Customer: EXCUSE ME?

WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

GET TO WORK!

I'M USED TO SQUIDWARD SLEEPING ON THE JOB

BUT I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU MR. SQUAREPANTS.

I AM NOT SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, MR. KRABS.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF DAVY JONES ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I MEAN, DO THESE PANTS LOOK SQUARE TO YOU?

THEY'RE ROUND.

YEAH, SO?

I CAN'T BE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS WITH ROUNDPANTS.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

PATRICK.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THEM OFF?

ORDER UP, SQUIDWARD.

WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T

SPONGEBOB UNDERPANTS [LAUGHS].

AHH!

[♪...]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]