Original subtitles

ARE YA READY, KIDS?Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

PERCH PERKINS HERE, COMING TO YOU LIVE

FROM THE BIKINI BOTTOM WRESTLING ROYAL RUMBLE FREE-FOR-ALL.

FREE?

GIMME-GIMME-GIMME.

GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME.

GIMME... GIMME?

GIMME?

UH, WHAT DO I GET? [CHUCKLES]

WELL, WHAT YOU GET

IS THE MOST ANTICIPATED EVENT OF THE WRESTLING SEASON.

...HUNDREDS OF WRESTLERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

FACE OFF AGAINST THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPS.

[FIERCE GROWLING]

[METAL CLANGING]

[GASPS AND MOANS]

[ROARS]

[ROARING...]

[CROWD CHEERS]

Perkins: ANYONE WHO CAN DEFEAT THESE GIANTS

WILL EARN THE CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE.

[YAWNS] BIG DEAL.

AND THE MILLION-DOLLAR CASH PRIZE.

MILLION DOLLARS...

CASH PRIZE?

[ROARS]

GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME...

GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME.

[BELL DINGS]

[ALL GROWLING]

Krabs: MONEY-MONEY-MONEY...

MONEY-MONEY-MONEY-MONEY...

MONEY-MONEY-MONEY-MONEY...

MONEY, MONEY.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

MONEY?

[PUNCH THUDS... CROWD CHEERS]

WHOA... OOH.

[SIREN BLARES]

Fighter: MY LEG... MY LEG.

NO LIVING SOUL SHOULD SUFFER THROUGH WHAT I'VE WITNESSED HERE TODAY.

EXCEPT MAYBE...

[BOTH LAUGHING]

SpongeBob: OH, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US, MR. KRABS?

NOW GO GET 'EM.

[GIDDILY GIGGLING]

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE SURPRISE IS, PATRICK?

Patrick: I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?

SpongeBob: I DON'T KNOW... [GRUNTS]

WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S REALLYBIG.

OH... [PANTING] AND HAIRY.

[SNORTS]

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING]

AND IT SMELLS ANGRY.

IS IT TIME TO LOOK YET?

YOU PEEK FIRST.

Patrick: NO, YOU PEEK FIRST.

OOH!

[GROANING]

[HUFFING] [HUFFING]

[SCREAMING]

SpongeBob: HEY, WHO ARE THOSE GUYS, MR. KRABS?

THEY LOOK LIKE THEY WANNA HURT US.

WHAT, THOSE TWO?

AH, THEY'RE HARMLESS.

IT'S ALL JUST PART OF THE ACT.

THE ACT?

OF COURSE.

THEY'RE JUST PRETENDING.

PRETENDING?

WE LIKE PRETENDING. WE LIKE PRETENDING.

[LAUGHING]: AH, AH-AH-AH, DON'T WE ALL?

CAN WE WEAR COSTUMES?

UH... SURE.

HEY, SPONGEBOB, HOW DO I LOOK?

WOW, LOOKS LIKE THOSE IRON BUN WORKOUT VIDEOS ARE REALLY PAYING OFF.

[STRAINED GROANING] And two and three...

Video Instructor: ...and four steps closer to your dream body.

Patrick: I COULD EVEN DO IT IN MY SLEEP.

[SNORING]

WOW, CAN WE HAVE COOL NICKNAMES TOO?

OH, FINE.

YOU'RE THE, UH, "SHORT-ORDER BOY"

AND HE'S, THE, UH, "PINK PATTY."

[GASP] [GASP]

AND TOGETHER WE ARE...

THE KRUSTY KRUSHERS.

NOW GO OUT THERE AND WRESTLE ME UP A MILLION DOLLARS.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN.

YEAH! WHOO!

YEAH! WHOO!

YEAH! WHOO!

YEAH! WHOO!

OK, WE'RE READY.

HM, OH, UH, YEAH.

AL, SEND THE MIC DOWN.

WE'VE GOT FRESH MEAT.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE HERE TO FAKE WRESTLE.

AND TO PRETEND WRESTLE.

YEAH, WHATEVER [CLEARS THROAT].

IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE CHALLENGERS:

THE KRUSTY KRUSHERS.

[CROWD CHEERS]

[GULPS... GROWLS]

[NOISILY EATS]

[BELCHES]

OH... [GIGGLES] EXCUSE ME.

YOU CAN DO IT.

AND ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE RING

WE HAVE THE UNDEFEATED CHAMPIONS.

[GROANING]

[GROANS]

[GULPS]

[ROARING BELCH]

♪ HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS...♪

[RUMBLING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING...]

DID IT JUST GET DARK IN HERE?

DARK- I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK.

DON'T BE AFRAID, IT'S JUST THEM.

OH, RIGHT, IT'S JUST THOSE GUYS WE'RE GONNA WRESTLE.

HELLO, FELLOW COMPETITORS.

[ROARING]

WHAT WAS THAT?

HM, THAT'S "WRESTLESE" FOR "YOU'RE DEAD MEAT."

I DON'T GET IT.

[GROWLS]

HEY, LOOK, PATRICK.

IT'S MR. KRABS CHEERING US ON.

[BOTH GRUNT]

WHOA.

Patrick: OH, HEY, SPONGEBOB.

SpongeBob: HEY, PATRICK, LOOK, PATRICK, IT'S A FIST.

A FIST, WHERE?

OH, YEAH, THAT'S DEFINITELY A...

[CHEERING]

[GARGLING]

[CROWD CHEERS]

[GURGLING]

YEAH! YEAH!

HOW FUN WAS THAT?

IT WAS SO SUPER-DUPER FUN.

BOOM! BOOM!

Krabs: A-HEM.

DID YOU NEED SOMETHING, MR. KRABS?

[THOUGHTFULLY]: OH, DID I NEED SOMETHING?

HM, LET ME THINK, DID I NEED SOMETHING?

[ANGRILY]: YES, I NEED SOMETHING!

I NEED YOU TWO TO GET BACK IN THERE AND SHOW 'EM WHO'S BOSS.

SHOW 'EM WHAT SHORT-ORDER BOY

AND PINK PATTY CAN REALLY DO.

RIGHT.

COME ON, PATRICK, LET'S SHOW THESE TWO

WHAT THEY'RE MESSING WITH.

WITH PLEASURE.

LET'S DO THIS! LET'S DO THIS!

THAT'S THE MILLION-DOLLAR WINNING SPIRIT.

SpongeBob: ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, NO MORE MESSING AROUND.

DO YOU SEE THIS?

JUST A SPATULA, RIGHT?

WRONG!

ACTUALLY, THIS REPRESENTS YOUR FACE

AFTER I GET THROUGH MANGLING IT!

[GROANING]

[STRAINED GROANING]

THERE, YOU SEE THAT?

IT'S NOT GONNA BE PRETTY WHEN I GET DONE WITH YA.

GOOD ONE, SPONGEBOB.

THANKS, PATRICK.

NOW YOU TRY SAYING SOMETHING

INTIMIDATING AS WELL. OK.

IF ANY OF YOU THINK THISIS BAD

WAIT'LL I GET MY HANDS ON YA, HUH... YEAH.

I'M GONNA, I'M GONNA, HUH...

TEAR YOU TO SHREDS LIKE, UH...

[STRAINED GROANING]

OH, COME ON!

OH, I GOT A PAPER CUT, PAPER CUT, OH!

PATRICK, ARE YOU OK?

OH, OH, I'M FINE.

I JUST LIKE TO SUCK ON MY HAND.

REALLY? ME TOO.

MMM, MMM... MMM, MMM...

[SCREAMS]: AH!

OH... [CHUCKLES] NOW WHAT?

[GIGGLING]: THAT TICKLES.

GOOD CATCH.

LOOK, I'M A...Patrick: HELICOPTER.

[BLADES SLICING]

[WHISTLING]

Both: [IN TRUCK]: WHOA...

[CHEERING]

[TEETH CHATTERING]

[WHISTLING]

[CROWD CHEERS]

[SPONGEBOB GIGGLES]

[PATRICK LAUGHS]

[GRUNTING LAUGHS]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?

FAKE WRESTLING.

OK.

BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO TRY TO WININ FAKE WRESTLING.

MR. KRABS, WE'RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN.

DOESN'T THAT MAKE US WINNERS?

ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T!

OK, OK, LOOK, JUST...

HEY, WHERE'D THEY... [GASPS]

OH, NO, NOT THE...

[CROWD MOANS]

WOW, NOW THAT'S A SERIOUS SLEEPER HOLD.

[BRAHMS' LULLABY PLAYS]

[SQUEAKS] OH, HELLO, MR. FLUFFY.

[CONTENTED SIGHING]

[BABY TALK]: DA-BA-BA-DEE-DAH.

Crowd: AWW...

Perkins: AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE CHAMPS

ARE READY TO END IT.

END IT?

Crowd: [CHANTING]: END IT, END IT...

GET UP, GET UP YOU GUYS.

YUP, THEY'RE GONNA LEAVE MORE THAN A MARK WITH THIS SPECIAL MOVE.

THE MOTHER OF ALL MOVES:

THE FLYING DOUBLE-DECKER

ATOMIC HEAD-BUTT OF DESTRUCTION...

...WITH A SPIN.

[SCREAMS]

COME ON, COME ON, WAKE UP.

[SNORES]: A-ONE AND TWO

AND SQUEEZE.

OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?

GOOD-BYE, MONEY.

SQUEEZE.

GOOD-BYE, MONEY [SOBBING].

OH, SQUEEZE.

Both: [GASP]: OH, NO.

NOT IRON BUNS.

[METALLIC THUD]

[CROWD CHEERS]

[WHISTLING]

[RING BELL DINGS... CHEERING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

HERE ARE YOUR NEW CHAMPIONS.

GOOD-BYE MONEY... NEW CHAMPIONS?

THAT'S RIGHT, SKIP.

AND THE WINNERS OF $1 MILLION.

[CASH REGISTER RINGS]HELLO, MONEY!

WHOO-HOO, MONEY, SWEET MONEY.

OR...

OR?

YOU CAN TAKE WHAT'S BEHIND

CURTAIN NUMBER TWO.

CURTAIN NUMBER TWO?

Perkins: MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

WITH ONE WEEK AT WRESTLE CAMP.

LIKE, WE'RE REALLY GONNA TRADE ALL THIS MONEY FOR...

WRESTLE CAMP! WRESTLE CAMP!

Both: WRESTLE CAMP, WRESTLE CAMP, WRESTLE CAMP...

WRESTLE CAMP IT IS.

SpongeBob: SEE YOU AT WRESTLE CAMP, MR. KRABS.

NEXT.

OH, NO.

HEY, QUINCY, HOW'S MY FAVORITE MONEY MAN?

SPONGEBOB, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

THE NEW MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY CARDS COME OUT TODAY.

SO I NEED TO TAKE OUT SOME "MO-NAY".

[IRRITATED SIGH]

LET ME SEE YOUR BANK BOOK.

SURE THING, QUINCY, SURE THING.

NICE BUNNIES.

I KNOW, I KNOW, IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

[QUIETLY]: I WANTED THE ONE WITH THE KITTENS ON IT.

RIGHT.

HERE YOU ARE, SIR.

THANK YOU.

HMM... UH, QUINCY?

THIS ONE IS WRINKLED.

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY GIVE THIS TO MERMAID MAN.

IT SIMPLY WON'T DO.

I DON'T THINK THEY GO DIRECTLY TO MERMAID MAN, SPONGEBOB.

BUT, UM...

HERE, TRY THIS ONE.

[SNIFFS] HM, UH...

THIS ONE SMELLS FUNNY.

OH, COME ON, WOULD YOU HURRY UP?

YEAH, SOME OF US HAVE WITHDRAWALS TO MAKE, YOU KNOW?

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

WELL, I'LL HAVE YOUKNOW THAT THIS IS FOR MERMAID MAN

AND I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I HAVE MONEY

THAT SHOWS HIM THE PROPER RESPECT.

WHOA!

OH! [ALL LAUGHING]

Patrick: ONE, TWO...

...THREE, FOUR...[SHOP BELL TINKLES... DOOR CLOSES]

HEY, PATRICK.

COUNTING UP YOUR CHANGE FOR A PACK OF MERMAID MAN

AND BARNACLE BOY TRADING CARDS?

NO, I'M THINKING ABOUT BUYING THIS BOOK ON COUNTING.

THREE, FOUR...

[GASPS] WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT... FIVE?

HOLY SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME, THIS BOOK'S GOOD.

I'LL TAKE IT.

ONE, TWO, THREE...

ONE PACK OF MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY CARDS, PLEASE.

FIVE, SIX...

ALL RIGHT!

NOT SO FAST.

WHERE'S MY DOLLAR?

[CASH REGISTER RINGS]

HERE YOU ARE, MY GOOD SIR.

HERE YOU GO, KID.

Patrick: 17...

SpongeBob: SO SHINY AND SMOOTH.

UM-HM... [MOANS]

[SNIFFS]

OH!

[GASPING]: UH, OH!

OOH...

OOH, MERMAID MAN'S BUBBLE-POWERED WHEELCHAIR FROM SEASON 12.

[GASPING] AND BARNACLE BOY'S BUNIONS.

HOLY SCALLOPS.

IT'S THE DENTURES THAT MERMAID MAN USED

TO POP THE DIRTY BUBBLE IN EPISODE "FOREVER TWO."

WOW, THESE MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE CARDS IN THE WORLD.

I'LL TREASURE THEM FOREVER.

[CLERK GUFFAWS]

THOSE CARDS AREN'T WORTH NOTHING.

I WOULDN'T PUT THOSE CARDS IN THE SPOKES OF MY BIKE.

NOW IF YOU WANNA SEE A CARD WORTH TALKING ABOUT

CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

THIS IS THE SUPER RARE PLATINUM HOLOGRAM ANIMATED TALKING CARD NUMBER 54.

Card Announcer: Mermaid Man says...

Buy more cards.

THERE ARE ONLY FIVE IN EXISTENCE.

HOW MUCH IS IT FOR THIS ONE?

THIS ONE'S JUST A DISPLAY.

IF YOU WANT A REAL ONE YOU HAVE TO BUY AS MANY PACKS AS YOU CAN

AND HOPE YOU GET LUCKY.

[CASH REGISTER RINGS]

OH, I HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE.

COME ON, AND IT'S...

NOT THERE.

[WHINING]: NEH... NO.

OH, I'LL NEVER FIND CARD 54!

Patrick: 96, 97...

90, UH... 8.

99, 100.

OH, I HATE COUNTING.

JUST GIVE ME WHAT HE'S HAVING.

OH, BOY, LET'S SEE WHICH CARD I GOT.

IS THIS A GOOD CARD, SPONGEBOB?

NO, IT'S JUST ANOTHER...

Mermaid man says:

Buy more cards.

NUMBER 54.

THAT'S THE BEST CARD THERE IS.

IT SURE DOES THE JOB ALL RIGHT.

[SCREAMING]

PATRICK, YOU'RE PICKING YOUR TEETH WITH IT.

I'M PREVENTING GINGIVITIS.

PATRICK, THAT'S THE ULTRA RARE NUMBER 54 TALKING CARD.

IT'S REALLY VALUABLE, AND THERE'S ONLY FIVE IN EXISTENCE AND...

[GIBBERISH]

[NONSENSE GIBBERISH]

WHA-NAH-NAH, PATRICK...

[GIBBERISH CONTINUES]

SO NOWDO YOU UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU SHOULD TAKE REALLY GOOD CARE OF THAT CARD?

YES, SIR.

[DOOR BELL TINKLES]

I CAN'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THAT CARD.

MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME.

PATRICK, WATCH OUT!

[SIGHS] YOU ALMOST TRIPPED ON THAT CRACK.

WHOO, NOW WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

OK, THANKS, BUDDY.

[CAR APPROACHES]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

PATRICK, LOOK OUT!

[SIGHS] THAT WAS CLOSE.

[LAUGHS] SPONGEBOB FLY.

PATRICK, THIS IS SERIOUS.

YOU'RE CARRYING PRECIOUS CARGO NOW.

YOU CAN'T JUST WANDER AIMLESSLY AROUND LIKE YOU'VE BEEN...

WHAT?

THE CARD!

[PANTING]

PATRICK, WHY DID YOU JUST WALK INTO GOO LAGOON?

SPONGEBOB, YOU CAN'T ALWAYS EXPECT MY USUAL BRAND OF STUPIDITY.

I LIKE TO MIX IT UP, KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES.

[SCREAMING]

[SPONGEBOB GROANING]

[STRAINED GROANING]

HERE WE ARE, HOME SAFE HOME.

AND NOTHING HAPPENED TO THE CARD.

GOOD JOB, SPONGEBOB.

NOW LET ME JUST GET MY KEYS.

[KEYS JINGLING]NOPE.

THERE YOU ARE.

I KNEW YOU WERE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

[GASPS] THE SUPER RARE AND PRICELESS

MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY TRADING CARD.

PATRICK, WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT?

DEAR NEPTUNE.

YOU DIDN'T PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET, DID YOU?

IT'S GETTING ALL BENT UP!

BENT UP, BENT UP.

[SOBBING]: BENT UP.

BENT, BENT, BENT, BENT UP.

SHEESH, DON'T GET YOUR PANTS

UP IN A SQUARE KNOT, SPONGEBOB.

I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN POCKETS.

I KEEP EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT HERE:

IN THE FOLDS OF MY BACK FAT.

YOU SEEM TO BE PRETTY FOND OF THIS LITTLE THING.

[SOBBING] WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP IT?

[SOBBING]

YOU MEAN... [SNIFFLES]

YOU'D GIVE ME YOUR MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION?

I'D GIVE YOU MY MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION?

YOU'RE THE BEST PAL EVER.

I'M THE BEST PAL EVER!

BUT CAN YOU DO ME ONE FAVOR?

SURE, PAL, ANYTHING FOR YOU.

DO YOU MIND IF I HOLD ONTO IT JUST FOR TODAY?

UM... SURE, PATRICK.

OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE MY LANDLORD CHANGED THE LOCK AGAIN.

PATRICK, WAIT, LET ME CALL A LOCKSMITH.

OH, I DON'T NEED ANY OLD LOCKSMITH.

BUT PATRICK?

[GRUNTS] DON'T!

PATRICK!

BUT PATRICK, DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE...

[GRUNTING]

THAT YOU SHOULDN'T... [GRUNTS]

[STRAINED GROANING]

OH!

MAN, THIS CARD IS FANTASTIC.

[GRUMBLING]

BREAKING AND ENTERING SURE MAKES A FELLA HUNGRY.

HEY, WHY DON'T WE EAT SOME DINNER

AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR CARD?

EW, THIS BARBECUE'S REALLY FILTHY.

OH, BUT THIS'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

NO, PATRICK, WAIT, ALLOW ME TO CLEAN IT.

NOW, NOW, SPONGEBOB, I KNOW YOU WANNA HELP

BUT YOU'RE MY GUEST.

[LOUD METALLIC SCRAPING]

THERE... NICE AND SHINY.

[FIRE ALARM RINGS]

PATRICK, THAT CARD, IT'S ON FIRE!

OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

THERE.

GOOD AS NEW.

EW.

[SIZZLING]

DINNER IS SERVED.

[EATING NOISILY]

[GARBLED]: More cards...

[BELCHES... SIGHS]

OH, THAT HIT THE SPOT.

PARDON ME.

AH.

HEY, LOOK AT THAT.

SUNDOWN ALREADY?

WELL, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CARD NOW.

I HOPE YOU GET AS MUCH USE OUT OF IT AS I HAVE.

[WHINING]

Mermaid Man: ...more cards.

[MUSIC RUNS DOWN]

OH... IT'S RUINED!

[CRYING]

[SOBBING] SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S WRONG?

[SNIFFLES] NOW I'LL NEVER HAVE MERMAID MAN CARD NUMBER 54-

THE SPECIAL TALKING ONE.

AW, SURE YOU WILL.

NO, NO.

I SPENT ALL MY MONEY [GASPING] AND, AND, AND...

YOU BOUGHT THE LAST PACK.

SO THERE'S NO MORE LEFT IN ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THESE?

Mermaid Man says:

Buy more cards.

NUMBER 54.

PATRICK, WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?

WELL, THAT ONE PACK I BOUGHT WAS FILLED WITH 'EM.

[SNIFFLES] MAY I... HAVE ONE?

THERE'LL ALL YOURS, BUDDY.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

WOW!

UH, HEY, SPONGEBOB?

CAN I BORROW ONE OF THOSE CARDS?

I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF MY HOUSE AGAIN.

[♪...]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]