Original subtitles

Captioning Provided By: MTV NETWORKS

ARE YA READY, KIDS? Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

* OHH... *

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

Kids: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

Captain: * ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

Kids: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

Captain: * IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH *

Kids: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

Captain: * THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

Kids: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

Captain: * READY? *

All: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

Captain: * SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[*...]

[SNORING]

UNACCEPTABLE!

PEARL!

MY FRIENDS'LL BE HERE IN 20 MINUTES FOR MY SLUMBER PARTY

AND YOU'RE LAYING AROUND IN YOUR TIGHTY-NO-LONGER-WHITIES.

A MAN WORKS HARD ALL WEEK TO KEEP HIS PANTS OFF ALL WEEKEND.

IF YOU TRUSTED ME, YOU WOULD LEAVE FOR THE NIGHT.

[LAUGHING]

YOU MADE CORK RINDS COME OUT ME NOSE.

DAD.

LOOK, I'LL STAY UPSTAIRS IN ME ROOM AND NOT INTERRUPT.

YOU PROMISE?

I PROMISE.

GOOD NIGHT, DADDY.

[LAUGHING]

GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE.

DAD!

OH, HI, PUMPKIN.

I WAS JUST SETTING OUT REFRESHMENTS FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS.

Pearl: CRACKERS AND TAP WATER?

YOU ARE THE CHEAPEST CRAB ALIVE.

NOW, DON'T SAY THAT.

HERE, WOULD YOUR FRIENDS LIKE SOME PIZZA?

WELL, YEAH.

YEAH, WE WOULD.

OK, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ALLOWANCE EARLY.

Pearl: KETCHUP?

Mr. Krabs: SEE?

YOU PUT IT ON THE CRACKERS

[AFFECTED ITALIAN ACCENT]: AND MAMA MIA, YOU GOT ONE SPICY PIZZA PIE.

MM... MM?

OK, OK, I'M GOING.

[KNOCKING]

OH!

[LAUGHING]

THEY'RE HERE.

HI.

[KNOCKING]

* DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO *

DAD!

JUST PUTTING UP THE HOUSE RULES.

Pearl: NO DANCING.

NO LOUD MUSIC AFTER 7:30.

NO TOUCHING THE ROOT BEER CELLAR.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL, NO BOYS ALLOWED.

ISN'T IT GLORIOUS?

[DOOR SLAMMING]

SWEETIE?

YOU ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED THE DOOR.

YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK IN THIS HOUSE UNTIL AFTER MY SLUMBER PARTY IS OVER.

[GASPING]

THIS IS MUTINY!

Pearl: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

TAKE AWAY MY ALLOWANCE?

HERE YOU GO.

OPEN THIS DOOR, OR I'LL...

[GENERAL CONVERSATION]

YOU WANT TO STAY HERE, AT MY HOUSE, WITH ME?

WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOY?

YAY-HEY!

SLUMBER PARTY!

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SLEEP UNDER THE HIGHWAY.

WE CAN STAY UP REALLY, REALLY LATE, AND TELL GHOST STORIES, AND TRADE SOCKS.

IS THAT WHAT GIRLS DO AT SLUMBER PARTIES?

NO.

THEY INVITE BOYS OVER AND DESTROY THE HOUSE.

THEY WHAT?

YOU KNOW HOW GIRLS ARE.

UH, SPONGEBOB?

DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GIRLS?

[LAUGHING]

DO I KNOW ANY...

NO, BUT GARY DOES.

[MEOWING]

Man: We now return to tonight's scary movie, "Slumber Party Zombie Attack."

[MAN GROWLING]

Girl: Pillow fight.

[LAUGHTER]

Girl: That tickles!

Missed me.

[GASPING]

LOOK WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO THAT MAN'S HOUSE.

MR. KRABS, IT'S ONLY A MOVIE.

QUIET, BOY.

Girl: Boys are here.

Hi, girls.

I brought my destructive friends.

Boy: Nice to meet you.

Boy: Hah, destroying other people's possessions is fun!

[SCREAMING]

TURN IT OFF!

TURN IT OFF!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!

[WHIMPERING] I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE SCARY PART YET.

Mr. Krabs: I SAID, TURN IT OFF!

GOSH, MR. KRABS, I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SCARED OF ZOMBIES.

NOT ZOMBIES, YOU BARNACLE BRAIN.

TEENAGERS.

ZOMBIE TEENAGERS?

NO!

PEARL AND HER NO-GOOD FRIENDS.

THEY'RE PROBABLY DESTROYING ME HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

LIKE THIS.

[GRUNTING]

"I DON'T CARE.

IT'S NOT MINE.

OH, LOOK.

ONE OF THE HOMEOWNER'S MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS.

LA-DI-DA."

MR. KRABS?

"OOH, THIS'LL BE FUN TO DESTROY.

WHEE!"

NOW DO YOU GET IT, BOY?

OH, I DO, MR. KRABS.

IT MUST BE HORRIBLE TO INVITE PEOPLE INTO YOUR HOME

AND HAVE THEM TREAT YOUR PROPERTY WITH SO LITTLE RESPECT.

THAT'S WHAT TEENAGERS DO.

DO YOU WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO MY HOUSE?

GOSH, NO, MR. KRABS.

THEN GET INTO PEARL'S PARTY AND FIND OUT WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

LEAVE IT TO ME, MR. K.

I'VE GOT THE PERFECT DISGUISE.

[*...] [LAUGHTER...]

[KNOCKING]

HELLO.

HI, I'M HERE FOR THE SLUMBER PARTY.

DO I KNOW YOU?

MY NAME IS, UM, "GIRLIE TEENGIRL."

UH-HUH.

AND I JUST MOVED HERE FROM, UM, "FARAWAYVILLE."

I KNOW IT'S YOU, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

[SCREAMING]

YOU WERE SENT TO SPY ON ME BY MY DAD.

GET HIM, GIRLS!

[SCREAMING]

[CRYING]

I AM SO MOVING BACK TO FARAWAYVILLE.

WHO THE HECK IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT SHE IS UGLY.

NOW TO PUT ON THAT DISGUISE I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

TADA!

HUH, HUH?

HUH?

YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND, BOY.

[KNOCKING]

SpongeBob: PIZZA DELIVERY.

WE DIDN'T ORDER ANY PIZZA.

YOU DIDN'T?

SPONGEBOB, TELL 'EM IT'S FROM ME.

SpongeBob: YOUR DAD SENT IT.

IT'S ALREADY PAID FOR.

[DOOR CREAKING]

I'D SOONER BELIEVE SPACE ALIENS SENT ME A FREE PIZZA BEFORE I'D BELIEVE MY DAD WOULD.

NOW, WHO ARE YOU?

UM, UH...

HEY!

[BIRD CHIRPING]

Pearl: SPONGEBOB!

THEY'RE ON TO US, MR. KRABS!

DRIVE!

RIGHT, BOY!

[PANTING]

I WANTED TO COME WITH YOU, MR. KRABS.

Pearl: GET HIM!

[SCREAMING]

OH, BIG SURPRISE.

DAD WAS TOO CHEAP TO BUY REAL PIZZA.

Mr. Krabs: WHAT'S TAKING SPONGEBOB SO LONG?

I'M GETTING TIRED OF LOOKING THROUGH HIS STUFF.

[KNOCKING]

HELLO?

PIZZA.

I'M SORRY, MR. KRABS.

I FAILED YOU.

I KNOW, SON.

OW, MR. KRABS, THAT'S MY EYE.

[GAGGING]

AND IT'S ICE COLD TOO.

YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN BACK HERE IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS.

[*...]

[KNOCKING]

WHO IS IT?

PIANO REPAIR MAN.

[LAUGHTER]

OK, WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

MR. KRABS, IT'S WORKING.

HAVE IT BACK BY TOMORROW, OK?

MAYBE WE SHOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE, MR. KRABS.

THEY SEEM PRETTY TRUSTWORTHY.

Mr. Krabs: YOU GET INTO THAT PARTY OR YOU'RE FIRED.

YES, MR. KRABS.

WHOEVER COULD IT BE THIS TIME?

SpongeBob: IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

CAN WE TALK, PEARL?

WHALE TO SPONGE?

HOLD THE BOILING OIL.

[ALL MUTTERING]

WHAT DO YOU WANT, SPONGEBOB?

OH, PLEASE LET ME STAY AT YOUR PARTY.

OH, PLEASE, OH, PLEASE, OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

NO.

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I CAN'T STAY.

I CAN GIVE YOU 100 MILLION BILLION REASONS.

YEESH, I ONLY ASKED FOR ONE.

REASON NUMBER ONE: YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY DAD.

REALLY?

Pearl: A NO-GOOD, DRIED-UP, OLD FUDDY-DUDDY.

SO IF I PROVE I'M FUN, CAN I STAY?

SURE, SPONGEBOB.

IF YOU CAN PROVE YOU'RE THE MOST FUN PERSON ON THE PLANET IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS

YOU CAN STAY.

I ONLY NEED EIGHT.

WHOO!

PARTY!

CRANK IT UP!

Pearl: FIVE SECONDS.

THESE OLD NEWSPAPERS ARE CONFETTI IN FUN HANDS.

WHOO!

I'M ALLERGIC TO NEWSPRINT.

[GROANING]

TWO SECONDS.

[LAUGHING]

[CRASHING]

OK, OK, I GOT TO ADMIT.

THAT WAS KIND OF FUN.

I THINK HE'S HURT.

HE'S NOT HURT.

[SPONGEBOB GROANING]

SEE?

MAYBE HE'S A ZOMBIE.

IF HE COMES BACK AS A ZOMBIE AND EATS MY BRAIN

I'M TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE.

OOH, MR. KRABS'S ROOT BEER CELLAR.

FUN!

[SPONGEBOB GURGLING]

Man: We now return to "Slumber Party Zombie Attack."

Ah, a zombie.

[GROWLING]

THIS MOVIE ISN'T ALL THAT SCARY.

YEAH, THAT ZOMBIE LOOKS TOTALLY FAKE.

[CREAKING]

[GASPING]

[GURGLING]

[GURGLING]: PARTY.

[SCREAMING]

ZOMBIE!

[GURGLING...]

[SCREAMING]

ZOMBIE JUICE!

[SCREAMING]

RUN!

[SCREAMING]

[SPONGEBOB GURGLING...]

[SCREAMING...]

[GURGLING]: WHO WANTS TO DANCE?

NO, I ALREADY HAVE A ZOMBIE BOYFRIEND.

[GURGLING]: LET'S BOOGIE.

[SCREAMING...]

WHAT IN NEPTUNE'S TOUPEE IS GOING ON HERE?

[GASPING]

[SCREAMING]

ME KNICKKNACKS!

[SCREAMING]

ME ROOT BEER!

ME PILE OF OLD NEWSPAPERS.

[SOBBING]

I WAS MAYBE GONNA READ THEM SOMEDAY.

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU.

TRUSTED ME?

YOUR EMPLOYEE DESTROYED THIS HOUSE.

THE ONLY BOY AT THE PARTY.

SPONGEBOB?

WELL, MR. KRABS, YOU KNOW HOW BOYS ARE.

[CHUCKLING]

OW!

IT'S YOUR FAULT MY PARTY IS RUINED, AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ZOMBIE SHOCK SYNDROME.

I'M TOO PRETTY TO BE A ZOMBIE.

WE WERE FINE WITH A NICE, SIMPLE SLUMBER PARTY, BUT NOW, IT'S GONNA COST YOU.

COST ME WHAT?

MONEY.

Mr. Krabs: NO...!

[GENERAL CONVERSATION...]

Pearl: EVERYONE HAVING A GOOD TIME?

All: YEAH!

WELL, YOU CAN ALL THANK MY DAD FOR MAKING THIS POSSIBLE.

THANK YOU, DADDY.

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

YOU'RE WELCOME, SWEETIE!

OH, THIS IS SO EXPENSIVE.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED ANY CLOSER, SIR.

MR. KRABS, I THINK I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.

[GROANING]

A MUG OF ICE COLD ROOT BEER.

NO, SPONGEBOB, THAT DOESN'T CHEER ME UP AT ALL.

[*...]

[FOGHORN BLOWING]

BIKINI BOTTOM PET SHOW TODAY.

GOOD THING I PUT THOSE NOTES THERE.

OTHERWISE, I COULD'VE FORGOTTEN.

AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO THAT

'CAUSE THE BIKINI BOTTOM PET SHOW IS WHERE YOU GOT TO GO TO SEE THE BEST PETS IN TOWN.

NOT THAT ANY OTHER PETS STAND A CHANCE AGAINST MY BUDDY GARY.

HE'S THE BESTEST PET IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

LOVE YOU, "GAR-BEAR."

WHOA!

THE SHOW STARTS IN AN HOUR.

HEY, "GAR," TIME TO...

GARY?

[GROANING]

GARY.

GARY.

GARY.

GARY.

Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom.

Huh?

Gary.

[GASPING]

GARY.

OH, HIYA, SQUIDWARD.

[SCREAMING]

[GROANING]

GARY.

GARY?

GARY.

GARY, THERE YOU ARE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WHEN TODAY IS THE DAY

WE GET TO SHOW EVERYONE ELSE YOU'RE THE BEST PET IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

NOW FOR A QUICK CHECKLIST.

LET'S SEE.

EYE STALK REFLEXES?

CHECK.

SLIME VISCOSITY.

HI, SQUIDWARD.

READY.

HI AGAIN, SQUIDWARD.

HELLO.

CHECK.

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, A QUICK UNDERCARRIAGE CHECK.

[GROWLING]

WHOA, OK.

MAYBE WE'D BETTER SKIP THAT ONE.

LET'S SEE.

YEP, THAT ABOUT DOES IT.

[SQUEALING]

SpongeBob: IT'S OK, BUDDY.

I'LL CARRY YOUR SHELL.

[DOGS BARKING]

STAND UP STRAIGHT.

POSTURE IS EVERYTHING IN APPEARANCE.

ROLL OVER.

YOUR NEWLY-TRIMMED HAIRSTYLES HIGHLIGHT YOUR REGALITY.

HUH.

PEOPLE SURE SEEM TO TREAT THEIR PETS DIFFERENTLY HERE.

Man: THAT'S A GOOD BOY, FOOFY.

LOOK AT YOUR LUXURIOUS MANE.

EVERY SELF-RESPECTING SNAIL HAS ONE.

LUXURIOUS MANE?

[MEOWING]

AH, YES.

HOW COULD I FORGET?

ACCESSORIES.

YOUR DIAMOND-STUDDED LEASH.

I ALWAYS USE AN OLD ROPE.

GUESS THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

OF COURSE, THERE'S THE CHERRY ON THE BEAUTY CAKE, THE GLOSSY, PAINTED SHELL.

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, WELL-MAINTAINED ORAL HYGIENE.

JUST LOOK AT YOUR PEARLY WHITES.

UH, GARY?

[MEOWING]

ANYWAY, WE'D BEST RUN ALONG, FOOFS.

YOUR PEDICURE IS IN HALF AN HOUR.

PEDICURE?

[SIGHING]

I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH WENT INTO THIS.

[MEOWING]

OH, DON'T BE SO PROTECTIVE OF ME, GARY.

I KNOW I'VE BEEN A HORRIBLE PARENT, BUT NO LONGER.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON FORTH, I VOW TO GIVE MY GARY THE UTMOST IN EMPTY FRIVOLITY

TO LIVE BY THE STANDARDS OF SNAIL GROOMING SET FORTH BY THAT GUY.

WHAT'S UP?

NO, NOT YOU.

OK.

ENOUGH DILLY-DALLYING.

WE GOT TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

[GARY MEOWING]

HOLD STILL, GARY.

[GARY HISSING]

COME ON, BUDDY.

AH, THERE.

OH, YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE, CUDDLY PRESENT.

[LAUGHING]

[MEOWING]

AND THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE.

GLOW-IN-THE-DARK PAINT.

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

GARY, WAIT.

WE GOT TO GO BACK TO THE PET SHOW.

[MEOWING]

BECAUSE WE HAVE GOT TO SHOW THOSE OTHER PETS THAT WE ARE JUST AS FANCY AS THEY ARE.

[SPITTING]

OH, COME ON, GARY.

DON'T BE THIS WAY.

I'M DOING IT FOR YOU, NOT ME.

[MEOWING]

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR, BECAUSE NOW, I CAN BRING THIS OUT.

YOUR VERY OWN STUDDED COLLAR, WITH TWO ROWS OF DIAMONDS.

HERE, TRY IT ON.

NOW LET'S GET BACK OUT THERE AND KNOCK 'EM OUT OF THEIR SHELLS.

[MEOWING]

HEY, SPONGEBOB.

WHAT YOU DOING?

PATRICK, I'M SO GLAD YOU JUST HAPPENED TO SHOW UP.

[WHISPERING]: HELP ME.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[MEOWING]

[HISSING]

GARY, STOP IT.

I'M ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

GARY, LOOK.

IT'S HIM.

COME NOW, FOOF.

KEEP YOUR TAIL UP, UP, UP.

SpongeBob: HELLO!

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

JUST WANTED TO GET YOUR OPINION ON MY SNAIL GARY.

[LAUGHING]

MY BOY, YOU DON'T SEEM TO GET IT, DO YOU?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO PROVE YOUR PET'S BEAUTY: BY WINNING THE PET CONTEST.

BUT I WOULDN'T BOTHER, SEEING AS HOW FOOFY AND I HAVE WON FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

[LAUGHING]

OH, WELL, ENOUGH MINGLING WITH THE COMMON FOLK.

LET'S GO WIN OUR MEDAL, FOOF.

THIS IS IT, GARY.

THIS IS OUR TIME TO SHINE.

WOW, PATRICK.

THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF PET LOVING GOING ON HERE TODAY.

YEAH, YOU AND GARY DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT ALL NON-PET OWNERS MUST REMAIN BEHIND THIS ROPE.

NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I'M ALL ALONE BEHIND THIS ROPE.

PATRICK, I'M RIGHT HERE.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SPONGEBOB.

YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALONE BEHIND THE RED ROPE.

[SOBBING]

DON'T WORRY, GARY.

HE'LL BE BACK IN TIME TO SEE US WIN FIRST PLACE.

NOW, LET'S GO SCOPE OUT THE COMPETITION.

THERE IT IS, MRS. SQUIGGLES.

YOUR NEW HAIRDO.

THERE YOU GO, MUFFSIES.

OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE?

[MEOWING]

[GASPING]

POOR MUFFSIES.

THOSE SHADES SLIPPED RIGHT OFF YOUR LITTLE EYES.

LUCKILY, I BROUGHT AN EXTRA, SMALLER PAIR.

[GROANING]

[GROWLING]

HUH, MAYBE YOU NEED SOME SHADES, HUH, GAR?

[GARY GROWLING]

SILLY BOY.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THE LEASH.

COME ON, BUDDY.

NOW LET'S TRY THIS CAPE.

[SIGHING]

BOY, THESE PETS ARE GUSSIED UP TODAY.

[GROWLING]

MAYBE I NEED A TOP HAT OR SOMETHING TO CLASS IT UP A BIT.

GARY?

OH, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR COLLAR WAS LOOSE.

[GROANING]

NOW LET'S GO GET THAT TOP HAT, BUDDY.

[GROWLING]

[GROANING]

THERE YOU GO.

[MEOWING]

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.

AH-HA.

DECENT STALK LENGTH.

OOH, GOOD HINGE ACTION.

AH, FOOFY.

EXCELLENT BROW STRETCH.

WELL-DEFINED EYELID CAPILLARIES.

FOOFY IS LOOKING AS GOOD AS EVER, CHARLES.

WHY, THANK YOU, SIR.

OK, LET'S HAVE A LOOK-SEE, SHALL WE?

AH, YES.

GOOD SPACING ON THE LARYNX.

NICE GASTRIC CHAMBER.

ALL WITHIN BREED DESCRIPTION.

IT'S IN THE BAG.

NOW IF WE COULD JUST CHECK THE UNDERCARRIAGE.

[SCREAMING]

[GASPING]

GARY, NO!

GARY, YOU SPIT HIM OUT RIGHT NOW.

I'M SORRY.

HE USUALLY ONLY BITES ME.

[MEOWING AND SQUEAKING...]

[OTHER PETS MEOWING AND SQUEAKING IN AGREEMENT...]

MUFFSIES, YOU LOOK ANGRY.

[CREATURES GROWLING]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[GROWLING]

WHAT A HIDEOUS DISPLAY.

AT LEAST I KNOW YOU'D NEVER BEHAVE LIKE ALL THESE HEATHENS, RIGHT, FOOFY?

[GROWLING...]

FOOFY?

FOOFY!

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

[SQUEAKING]

[GROWLING...]

NO, MUFFSIES.

NO!

[SCREAMING]

NO, WAIT, WAIT.

[SCREAMING]

[YOWLING]

[SCREAMING]

[ALL GROWLING AND SQUEAKING]

FOOFY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

DOES ANYONE SPEAK SNAIL?

I SPEAK A LITTLE BIT, SIR.

I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.

THEY'RE SAYING, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS, OWNERS.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T BE THIS WAY.

THEY'RE SAYING THEY DON'T WANT THIS TYPE OF PAMPERING.

THEY WANT TO BE TREATED AS COMPANIONS, NOT DRESS-UP DOLLS.

THEY DON'T WANT SCRATCHY OUTFITS.

THEY WANT TO BE SCRATCHED.

THEY ARE PROTESTING THE INDIGNITY OF WIGS AND JEWEL-ENCRUSTED COLLARS

AND THEY WANT TO BE FREE FROM SUPERFICIAL AND DEGRADING PAGEANTS, LIKE THESE.

[ALL GROWLING]

YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT ALL ALONG, WEREN'T YOU, GARY?

[SQUEAKING]

WELL, I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

WELL, I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT THIS YEAR'S GROOMERS CUP GOES TO...

SPONGEBOB AND HIS WONDERFUL PET.

[APPLAUSE]

DID YOU HEAR THAT, GARY?

THEY'RE REWARDING YOU FOR STANDING UP AND SPEAKING OUT AGAINST INJUSTICE.

MAYBE THESE PAGEANTS AREN'T SO SUPERFICIAL AFTER ALL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE SNAIL DIDN'T WIN.

I WAS REFERRING TO YOUR OTHER PET.

HE'S SO ADORABLE.

WOOF, WOOF.

[PANTING]

[*...]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]