Original subtitles

Captioning Provided By: MTV NETWORKS

ARE YA READY, KIDS?Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH... ♪

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ READY? ♪

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[♪...]

[SNORING]

[BEEPING]

[HUMMING]

SQUIDWARD, MY MAN, YOU ARE PERFECT.

[HUMMING]

OH, NO.

MY KELP GARDEN IS ALL WILTED.

DON'T WORRY, FELLOWS.

I'VE GOT JUST THE THING TO PERK YOU UP.

"KELP GROW."

HOLD STILL.

THEY'RE... PRETTY...

[SCREAMS]

PATRICK?

ANDSPONGEBOB.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?

PATRICK IS HELPING ME TO DO GOOD DEEDS TODAY.

LIKE TRIMMING YOUR KELP GARDEN.

[BURPS]

STOP EATING MY KELP!

OK, OK, GEEZ.

TRY TO HELP A FELLOW OUT.

I'LL JUST HAVE TO EAT THIS ICE CREAM CONE INSTEAD.

OH, DO YOU LIKE TO EAT ICE CREAM, PATRICK?

HMM...

YEAH.

THEN HAVE SOME MORE.

WHOA.

[LAUGHS]

STILL WANT THAT ICE CREAM?

WHY, I DO.

THANKS, SQUIDWARD.

WANT SOME, SPONGEBOB?

LAST ONE TO THE CONE IS A ROTTEN CLAM.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

ARE YOU DONE YET?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

ALL DONE.

WOW, I WISH I HAD A BOTTLE OF THAT "KELP GROW" STUFF.

HERE YOU GO, SPONGEBOB.HEY.

THANK YOU, PATRICK.

YOU KNOW, MY SHOES FEEL KIND OF TIGHT.

[SIGHS] NICE AND ROOMY.

DO YOU WANT YOUR GROW-JUICE BACK?

OH, NO, I ONLY PAID FOR IT.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO DEPRIVE YOU OF IT.

OK.GIVE ME THAT.

BUT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT IT.

FINE, WHY DON'T YOU TWO USE IT FOR YOUR... GOOD DEEDS?

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, SQUIDWARD.

YEAH, I'LL GO FIRST.

[SCREAMS]

WHAT DID YOU DO?

OOH...OOH...

QUITE AN IMPROVEMENT, DON'T YOU THINK?

OH, YES, I AGREE COMPLETELY.

COME ON, PATRICK, LET'S DO SOME GOOD DEED-ING.

YAY.

HEY, GET BACK HERE.

[GROANING] AND FIX MY NOSE.

HEY, GARY, THAT SHELL OF YOURS LOOKS A LITTLE CRAMPED.

MEOW.

THERE, NOW YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF SPACE.

MEOW.

AH-HA, THEY WENT THIS WAY.

MEOW-MEOW, MEOW-MEOW-MEOW.

MEOW-MEOW, MEOW.

OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

[MUTTERING AND GRUNTING]

MEOW. [PANTS]

THERE HE IS.

GET READY.

[WHISTLING]

NOW, PATRICK.

HUH? [SCREAMS]

THERE YOU GO, MR. KRABS.

YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE "BIG" MONEY.

[JEERING][RIMSHOT]

GOOD DEED ACCOMPLISHED.

I ASK FOR NO REWARD.

YOU'RE A SAINT, SPONGEBOB, A SAINT.

I KNOW.

AND IT IS A BURDEN I MUST CARRY.

BUT TIME'S A-WASTING, WE NEED ANOTHER GOOD DEED.

OH, I'VE GOT ONE.

UM, YOU KNOW THAT THING?

UM, RIGHT, THAT THING THAT WE DID THAT DAY.

NO, THE OTHER ONE, UM.

OH, UM...UH...

UH, THING...

SPONGEBOB... [PANTING]

HEY!

LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME.

YOU BETTER FIX MY NOSE, OR YOU'LL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH, YOU'LL BE UGLY AGAIN.

YES, I'M SURE.

HMM, HOW TO FIX HIS NOSE.

WELL, IF YOU TURN THE BOTTLE UPSIDE-DOWN

MAYBE IT WILL SHRINK IT.

PATRICK, THAT'S BRILLIANT!

NO, WAIT, DON'T.

[SCREAMS]

DIDN'T WORK.

WELL, TRY IT AGAIN.

HMM, I THINK I'LL JUST EVEN HIM OUT.

FIRST, A BIGGER HEAD.

[SPUTTERS AND STAMMERS]

NOW HIS BODY IS TOO SMALL.

RIGHT, TOO SMALL.

ARMS ARE TOO SHORT.

LEGS ARE TOO SHORT.

OTHER ARM.

FEET TOO SMALL.

TEETH.

BELLY BUTTON.

MWAH, PERFECT.

I LOOK HORRIBLE.

EW...

[COUGHING]

UGH, HE INKED.

WELL, PARDON MY ANATOMY.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

I KNOW, I KNOW, UH...

MADE YOU A MONSTER. [CHUCKLES]

AND A GIANT.

A GIANT MONSTER.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A GIANT, LUMBERING MONSTER.

WHAT'LL I DO NOW?

THAT'S EASY.

PLAY GIANT, LUMBERING MONSTER TAG.

YEAH, YEAH, YOU CHASE US.

AND WE RUN AROUND AND SCREAM LIKE CRAZY.

TRY AND CATCH US, GIANT MONSTER SQUIDWARD.

[LAUGHING]

SPONGEBOB, COME BACK HERE.

[SCREAMING]

THIS IS REALLY FUN.

[SCREAMING]

I KNOW, WE SHOULD DO THIS, [SCREAMS], MORE OFTEN.

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS] MONSTER!

[SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK SCREAM]

Crowd: MONSTER!

MONSTER.

[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

HUH?

[LAUGHING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT PRETENDING, SQUIDWARD.

LOOK HOW YOU'RE ALL SWEATY AND ANGRY.

AND YOU GOT THE WHOLE TOWN TO PLAY ALONG.

WHAT THE?

KICK HIM.

LET'S SKIN HIM AND MAKE BACK-BACON.

SCOOP OUT HIS EYEBALLS AND USE 'EM AS...

GIANT, MISSHAPEN SOCCER BALLS.

YEAH, YEAH...

WAIT, MAYBE HE'S A NICE MONSTER

LIKE IN MY STORYBOOK.

OH, RIGHT, I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.

WELL, ARE YOU?

OH, GOODNESS GRACIOUS, YES.

SQUIDWARD IS THE NICEST GIANT OF THEM ALL.

YEAH, SQUIDWARD, TELL 'EM ABOUT ALL THOSE TIMES

YOU DIDN'T PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.

EVEN THOUGH YOU REALLY WANTED TO.

OH, QUIET, YOU MORON!

[GASPING]

HE HURT THE LITTLE ONE'S FEELINGS.

WHY, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE AT ALL.

TAKE HIM DOWN, BOYS.

[SHOUTING]

OW!

[GRUNTING]

THIS OUGHT TO FIX HIM, HA-HA.

OK, OK, I'M NICE.

NOW WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

OH, YEAH? THEN PROVE IT.

YEAH, ARE YOU NICE ENOUGH TO... UM...

COMPLIMENT ME ON MY NEW HAIRDO?

UH, SURE, WHATEVER.

[LAUGHS] THANK YOU.

LET THE JUNIOR GUPPIES CAMP OUT UNDER YOUR TOENAILS?

[SNORING]

TAKE ME TO THE TOP OF MOUNT HUMONGOUS?

WHEE...

BLOW ON MY OLD WINDMILL.

DO MY HOMEWORK?

DUST MY ATTIC?

FEED MY SNAIL?

[PANTING]

WOW, THIS GIANT REALLY IS FRIENDLY, AFTER ALL.

HE TAUGHT MY GRANDMOTHER HOW TO READ.

HE HELPED ME START MY OWN BLIMP RIDE COMPANY.

HE HELPED ME BUILD A...

A... A... [SNEEZES]

[MUTTERING]

GESUNDHEIT.

GESUNDHEIT.

Crowd: AHEM.

WHAT?

[GASPS]

HE DIDN'T SAY BLESS YOU.

GET HIM!

[SCREAMS]

WHERE'D HE GO?

IS THAT HIM OVER THERE?

UH... I'M A LAMPPOST.

OH.

WELL, LET'S GO CHECK DOWN BY THE CREEK.

WE'LL TEACH HIM TO DIP HIS FEET.

WELL, SQUIDWARD, I GUESS THIS IS YOUR NEW LIFE.

AND THIS IS YOUR NEW BED.

GOOD NIGHT, OLD LIFE.

[CRIES]

I'LL MISS YOU.

SpongeBob: GOOD NIGHT, SQUIDWARD.

WHERE ARE YOU?

SpongeBob: PATRICK AND I ARE HAVING A SLEEPOVER...

IN YOUR BELLYBUTTON.

[GRUNTS]

WHAT THE- GET OUT OF THERE.

YOU TWO HAVE RUINED MY LIFE.

[CRYING...]

OH, PATRICK, THIS IS TERRIBLE.

SQUIDWARD DID NOT LIKE THE KINDNESS WE DID HIM.

SO?

WE SHALL DO HIM ANOTHER.

[RATCHETING AND DRILLING NOISES...]

SpongeBob: WE DID IT.

[♪...]

[SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK GRUNT]

[GRUNTING]

WHAT THE?

SINCE OUR LAST KINDNESS DIDN'T GO SO WELL

WE BROUGHT YOU A NEW ONE.

A GIANT CLARINET?

[GASPS]

AND IT SOUNDS DIVINE.

AH...

NOW I'M TOO SMALL TO PLAY MY GIANT CLARINET. [CRIES]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER PLAYED.

[SIGHS] WELL, AT LEAST I STILL HAVE MY KELP GARDEN.

[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]

WHAT?

[GASPS] YOU CUT IT DOWN?

WE USED YOUR KELP TO MAKE A KELP-MAÂCHEÉ CLARINET.

[GROWLS]

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING]

[SCREAMING]

[♪...]

[HUMMING]

[SIGHS]

OH, I THOUGHT I TOLD THAT KID NOT TO

PUT THE ORGANIC SEA CUCUMBER ON TOP OF THE FREE-RANGE ANEMONES.

[MUTTERS]

WELL, AT LEAST MY FLOWERS SURVIVED THE TRIP.

[SQUIDWARD SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING AND SNEEZING]

[GRUNTS]

SPONGEBOB, WOULD YOU PLEASE FIND YOUR OWN FLOWERS TO SNIFF?

WHAT ABOUT PATRICK, DOES HE HAVE TO FIND HIS OWN FLOWERS TOO?

[SIGHS] WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, NITWIT?

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NOSE.

OF COURSE I HAVE A NOSE, SQUIDWARD.

WHY, IT'S AT PLAIN AS THE NOSE ON MY...

FACE?

OH-HO...

YOU'RE RIGHT, SQUIDWARD.

[CRIES]

MY FLOORS.

THINK FAST, SQUIDDY.

I GOT YOUR NOSE.

YOU DO?

YEAH, I GOT IT...

RIGHT HERE.

Patrick: GIVE IT, GIVE IT HERE.

IF YOU WANT IT, YOU GOTTA GO GET IT.

[WHIMPERS]

THERE.

WELL, SPONGEBOB, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW NOSE?

[STAMMERS] PATRICK, THAT'S NOT A NOSE, THAT'S A...

[SCREAMS]

HERMIT CRAB.

[SIGHS]

I GUESS I'LL ALWAYS BE A NOSELESS FREAK.

HEY, IT'S NOT SO ABNORMAL TO BE NOSELESS.

JUST LOOK AROUND.

LOTS OF FISH DON'T HAVE NOSES.

YEAH, BUT ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE NOSES.

YOU, SQUIDWARD, SANDY, EVEN MR. KRABS.

THERE Y'ARE.[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

WELL, PATRICK, IF YOU'RE SO CONCERNED ABOUT NOT HAVING A NOSE

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW ONE STITCHED ONTO YOUR FACE?

I CAN DO THAT?

Woman: DR. GAUZE, DIAL 118...

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SORRY, DOC.

I DON'T REALLY THINK IT'S ME.

THAT'S A-OK, THAT'S COOL.

AS LEAD SURGEON HERE, I TAKE THE HYPOTHETICAL OATH

WHICH MEANS I WILL NOT STOP.

I WILL NOT REST.

I WILL NOT CUT A SINGLE TOENAIL

UNTIL THE CUSTOMER IS 100 PERCENT SATISFIED.

SO PLEASE, BROWSE OUR EXTENSIVE WALL OF NOSES.

AND I WILL PATIENTLY AWAIT YOUR FINAL DECISION.

OK, WELL, LET'S SEE, HMM.

EXCELLENT CHOICE.

ALL RIGHT, PATRICK, LET'S UNVEIL THE NEW SCHNOZ.

WAIT, STOP, CAREFUL, SPONGEBOB.

THIS FRAGILE STITCHING REQUIRES TENDER CARE.

ALLOW ME TO CAREFULLY REMOVE THE BANDAGES.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

THERE IT IS, PATRICK.

YOUR BRAND-NEW SNIFFER.

LOOKIN' GOOD, BUDDY.

WELL, I'VE GOTTA GO TO WORK NOW.

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR NEW NOSE...

I WILL.

NOW HOW DO I USE THIS THING?

[GASPS] WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

[♪...]

[GASPS]

PASTRIES?

I NEVER KNEW THEY SMELLED SO GOOD.

WELL, I GUESS I WON'T BE EATING THOSE.

[SIGHS]

LET'S SEE PATRICK DESTROY THESE.

[VACUUM CLEANER-LIKE WHOOSHING]

ALL THESE YEARS, I KNEW I WAS MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING.

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT SMELLING COULD BE THIS GOOD.

[FLY BUZZING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

[GRUNTS]

WHAT WAS THAT HORRIBLE SMELL?

ONION RINGS?

[GASPS AND SCREAMS]

SICK, NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT BAD SMELLS.

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

OH, WHAT IS IT NOW?

[GASPS AND WHIMPERS]

[GROWLING...]

[ROARING]

[PANTING]

I'M GONNA HAVE TO RETHINK THIS WHOLE SMELLING THING.

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

[PANTING]

[SIGHS]

I MADE IT.

AT LEAST HERE AT HOME I CAN'T BE ATTACKED BY THOSE WRETCHED ODORS.

[GRUNTS]

BAD SMELLS ARE ALL AROUND ME.

[WHIMPERING]

[SCREAMING]

I CANNOT LIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS.

Narrator: 48 HOURS LATER...

[PANTING]

HIYA, PATRICK, I- WHOA...

HEY-HEY, LOOKIN' GOOD.

HUH?

OH, THE SMELLS!

[SHRIEKS] THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

IT'S UNBEARABLE. [CRIES]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE PINHEAD?

OH, IT'S ANOTHER ONE.

NO...

I CAN'T TAKE IT.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

TO DO WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE LONG AGO.

[SCREAMS]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

[GASPS]

SWEET NEPTUNE.

IMPORTED CHEESE.

[♪...]

THIS IS INEXCUSABLE.

YUCK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHEESE?

[GRUNTS]

Patrick: IT'S ROTTEN GARBAGE NOW.

THAT'S BETTER.

THAT WAS MY CHEESE.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE THAT, KELP-FOR-BRAINS.

YOU ARE SICK, SQUIDWARD.

[GASPS] THAT SMELL AGAIN.

SpongeBob: ONE... TWO...

THREE... [PANTING] FOUR....

COME ON, SQUAREPANTS, BE A MAN!

[GRUNTING...]

Patrick: YOU?

[GASPS]

PATRICK, HELP.

OH, I'LL HELP YOU, ALL RIGHT.

HELP STOP YOU FROM POLLUTING OUR WORLD

WITH YOUR SWEATY HOLES.

THERE.

I CAN'T WORK AT THE KRUSTY KRAB LOOKING LIKE THIS.

I'M OUT OF UNIFORM.

WELL, YOU CAN'T GO TO WORK SMELLING LIKE THAT.

SHOULD BE THANKING ME, SPONGEBOB.

SMELLS LIKE...

SOMETHING GREASY.

[GENERAL CONVERSATION]

Patrick: NOBODY MOVES!

I AM RIDDING THIS PLACE OF ITS DISGUSTING STENCH

WITH THESE SCENTED CANDLES.

[COUGHS]

MY MOUTH CAN'T TAKE THESE CONFLICTING FLAVORS, AUGH.

[CUSTOMERS GASP]

THIS AIR FRESHENER SHOULD FINISH THE JOB.

[COUGHING]

WHAT THE BARNACLES DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

YOU'RE CHASING AWAY ALL ME CUSTOMERS.

[SCREAMING AND SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

WELL, GOOD.

NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO EAT IN THIS STENCH.

WHAT?

WHY, I GOTTA GOOD MIND TO...

SAY NO MORE, YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.

RIGHT NOW I'VE GOT MANY MORE STINK-HOLES TO SWAB CLEAN.

OH...

THAT NEW HONKER OF HIS HAS TURNED HIM INTO A COMPLETE JERK.

[HUMMING]

HIYA, PAT.

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

TAKE A BATH, FLEA-BAG.

Mr. Krabs: I'VE ASKED Y'ALL HERE BECAUSE WE ALL FACE A SIMILAR PROBLEM.

THE PROBLEM BEING

A SEA-STAR WITH A NOSE THAT'S GOTTEN WAY OUT OF HAND.

YEAH.YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, YEAH.

NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS

ARE WE GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

YEAH, SURE ARE.YOU BET WE'RE GONNA DO, YEAH.

LET'S GIVE HIM WHAT FOR.

LET'S HOGTIE HIM AND RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN ON A RAIL.

Sandy and Squidward: YEAH...

COME ON, SPONGEBOB, BE A MAN!

MR. KRABS?

NOT NOW, BOY.

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC LASHING.

THAT NO-GOOD, NOSE-FLAUNTING...

IT IS NOT PATRICK'S FAULT.

HUH?HUH?

IT'S THE NEW NOSE THAT HAS BETRAYED US.

MY GRANDMA SQUAREPANTS ALWAYS SAYS

"PUNISH THE NOSE, NOT THE MAN."

NOW WE'RE GOING TO NEED SOMETHING FOUL, SOMETHING BEYOND FOUL.

A STENCH THAT WILL BLOW THE SOCKS OFF HIS FUNGUS-INFESTED SOCKS.

OK, THIS SHOULD BE STINKY ENOUGH.

I GATHERED EVERY SWEATY SOCK, MOLDY PIZZA

AND ROTTEN PIECE OF FRUIT IN BIKINI BOTTOM.

WITH A LITTLE RAW SEWAGE FOR GOOD MEASURE.

ATTABOY.

NOW FOR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.

YES, SIR.

HELLO.

[GASPS]

OH!

[COUGHS AND RETCHES]

[GROANS]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ABLE TO SMELL LIKE THE REST OF YOU.

[CRYING...]

SpongeBob: "HERE LIES THE NOSE OF PATRICK STAR, RIP."

WELL, THIS IS TERRIBLE.

ALL PATRICK WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE THE REST OF US.

AND WE PUNISHED HIM FOR IT.

WHO CARES?

AT LEAST NOW THAT PINK MORON WILL LEAVE US ALONE.

Patrick: I HEARD THAT.

[♪...]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]