Original subtitles

Captioning Provided By: MTV NETWORKS

ARE YA READY, KIDS?Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[♪...]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SPONGEBOB LAUGHING]

[GROANING]: OHH...

WHAT THE [GROANS]... NOW?SpongeBob: ♪ LA, LA, LA...

SpongeBob: ♪ LA-LA-LA, LA, LA-LA-LA ♪

♪ LA, LA, LA

STOP!

WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE TRYING TO DO THIS TIME?

I'M NOT TRYINGTO DO ANYTHING.

I'M JUST HAVING A DECENT MORNING.

BY RUNNING AROUND AND SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE?

OH, SQUIDWARD, A BANSHEE SCREAMS LIKE THIS:

[LOUD SCREAM]: AHH...

[MUFFLED]

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE.

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE NORMAL...

AND THEN THERE'S YOU.

REALLY?

YES, REALLY!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD START ACTING

A LITTLE MORE NORMAL!

[GROWLS]: DAH!

I'M NOT NORMAL?

[MUTTERING ANGRILY]

[SIGHS]: AHH.

SQUIDWARD...

HOW DOES ONE BECOME NORMAL?

WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU START BY...

GETTING AWAY FROM ME, YOU LITTLE CREATURE!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

I NEED TO UNDERSTAND NORMAL.

SpongeBob: "HOW TO BE NORMAL."

HM, THIS VIDEOTAPE SHOULD HELP.

Are you tired of being called a freak?

Do people throw you out of their homes?

Well, do they?

YES, YES AND YES.

Then join me as I take you on

a "Journey Into Normality."

NORMALITY.

The life of a normal person is relatively simple.

Here is your typical average Joe on his way to work.

See how he is dressed.

Even his hair is boring.

Notice his features, nice and smooth

without a crater or freckle to be seen.

CRATER AND FRECKLES?

In his office space

Mr. Normal, at least

that's what it says on his name tag

works at a steady and monotonous pace

just as all the other normals do.

Take note of how they communicate with each other.

HI, HOW ARE YOU? HI, HOW ARE YOU?

[BELL RINGS]

At the end of the day

Mr. Normal packs his things

and goes home to merrily start the cycle again in the morning.

YEAH...

I WANT ONE KRABBY PATTY. OH, GREAT.

SPONGEBOB, I NEED ONE KRABBY PATTY.

[BELL DINGS]

WHAT, NO ANNOYING BLURBS TODAY?

HMM, STRANGELY QUIET.

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

SPONGEBOB?

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

I TOOK YOUR ADVICE.

FROM NOW ON, I'M NORMAL.

NORMAL, HUH?

YUP.

OH, REALLY?

YUP.

WHATEVER.

I KNOW YOU'RE JUST WAITING TO SAY SOMETHING STUPID.

WONDERFUL WEATHER WE'RE HAVING.

UH, YES, IT IS.

OK, SEE YOU AROUND.

YEAH, I'LL, UH...

I'LL SEE YOU.

[DOOR OPENS]

SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING AROUND?

WE NEED KRABBY PATTIES OUT THERE.

YES, SIR.

I'LL DO IT NORMALLY.

HEY?

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

WOW, THAT'S ALL IT TAKES THESE DAYS, HUH?

CAN YOU DO MORE?

OH, MY

IT'S LIKE PRINTING MONEY.

I WONDER WHAT GOT INTO SPONGEBOB.

AND WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

Squidward: WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS?

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

[CRACK]

HI, SPONGEBOB.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD, JUST COMING BY TO

GET A DRINK.

WONDERFUL WEATHER WE'RE HAVING.

IT SURE IS.

OK, SEE YOU 'ROUND.

YEAH... [CHUCKLES].

SEE YOU [CHUCKLES].

OH, MY [SLURPS].

I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

[MUSIC THROUGHOUT...]

[BELL DINGS]

[WATCH BEEPS]

[CASH REGISTER RINGS]

French Man: THREE WEEKS LATER.

THERE YOU ARE, SIR.

[WATCH BEEPS]OH, YES, IT'S TIME AGAIN [LAUGHS].

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO SAY THIS BUT

I'VE COME TO APPRECIATE YOUR DEMEANOR LATELY.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING, SQUIDWARD.

I SMOOTHED OUT THE EDGES OF MY PERSONALITY

AND THE REST JUST FOLLOWED SUIT.

NOW I AM UTTERLY NORMAL.

UGH, THAT AIN'T RIGHT.

I WILL NEVER SPEND MONEY HERE AGAIN.

NEVER?

COME ON, GUYS.

THESE PATTIES AIN'T WORTH THE PAPER THEY'RE PRINTED ON.

WAIT, WHERE YOU GOING?

Krabs: SPONGEBOB!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?

DO YOU EXPECT THE CUSTOMERS TO EAT THIS?

AND NOW, THANKS TO YOU, THEY'RE LEAVING IN BOAT LOADS.

[GRUMBLING]

MAYBE THIS THING IS OUT OF INK.

[SIGHS]

NO, BOY, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

YOU CAN'T MAKE KRABBY PATTIES WITH INK AND PAPER.

YOU GOTTA PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT, BOY.

NOW GET BACK TO MAKING THEM PATTIES THE RIGHT WAY

AND STOP ACTING SO DULL.

WHAT YOU CALL DULL I CALL NORMAL.

WELL, TILL YOU DECIDE TO START MAKING THEM PATTIES

THE WAY ONLY YOU CAN

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY PLACE.

I GUESS THE DECISION TO BE NORMAL

WAS MORE LIFE CHANGING THAN I THOUGHT.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

OH, I GOT NORMAL.

WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

HEY, SPONGEBOB, WHAT DO YOU SAY

WE CHARGE INTO JELLYFISH FIELDS

NETS A-BLAZE?

LET'S DO SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE WINDOW SHOPPING.

LET'S DO THIS.

[GROANING...]

AH!

YEAH-HA, HEY, YOUR TURN.

I THINK I'LL PASS.

BUT I DO NEED TO DEFRAGMENT MY HARD DRIVE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP?

HEY, LISTEN...

WHEN YOU DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING FUN

YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.

OK, SEE YOU AROUND.

[DOOR BELL CHIMES]

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR MYSELF SAY THIS BUT

PLEASE COME IN, SPONGEBOB.

THANK YOU.

TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING COOPED UP IN HERE

WHEN THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS SO NORMAL?

WELL, TODAY IS DUSTING DAY.

THE DAY I DUST MY 483 SELF-PORTRAITS.

WOW, THAT'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE IN THE AVERAGE HOUSE.

YOU KNOW, SPONGEBOB, IT'S OK TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

[SLURPING]

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ABNORMAL?

YOUR NOSE- IT'S ALL BULBOUS AND FLAPPY.

YOUR EYES ARE A LITTLE ODD, TOO.

LOOKS LIKE YOUR WHOLE FACE COULD USE SOME WORK.

MM, YEAH, THERE WE GO.

SEE?

LOOKING NORMAL ALREADY.[WOMAN SCREAMS]

WHAT THE... ONE MORE THING, SQUIDWARD.

YOU DON'T WEAR PANTS.

AND STAY OUT OF MY HOME.

[SIGHS]

OH, WHAT HAPPENED?

I LOST MY JOB AND MY BEST FRIEND

AND NOW I'M TOO NORMAL FOR SQUIDWARD.

MAYBE I HAVE TAKEN THIS NORMAL THING TOO FAR.

NO PROBLEM, SPONGEBOB.

YOU MADE YOURSELF NORMAL.

NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REWEIRD YOURSELF.

ALL IT'LL TAKE IS A MENTAL ADJUSTMENT AND SOME TIGHT CLENCHING.

NOW FOCUS...

[GROANS]: AND CLENCH.

[GROANING...]

OH, WELL...

IF I'M GOING TO GET WEIRD

I'M GOING TO NEED TO SEE A PROFESSIONAL.

[GARBLED]: LOOK AT MY TONGUE.

[GUFFAWING...]

THAT'S VERY NICE, PATRICK

BUT I NEED YOU TO RETRAIN ME.

I WANT TO BE ABNORMAL AGAIN.

HUH, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.

PLEASE, PATRICK.

IF ANYONE CAN TEACH ME THE ARCANE ART OF THE WEIRD, IT'S YOU.

TEACH ME TO HOW TO BE ME, AGAIN.

IT WON'T BE EASY

BUT I'LL DO IT.

OH, THANK YOU, PATRICK.

BUT FIRST, I'LL NEED A GARDEN HOSE AND A FLATBED TRUCK

AND I'LL NEED YOU TO REMOVE YOUR TROUSERS.

[ALL LAUGHING]

PATRICK, I'M FEELING VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS RIGHT NOW.

TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON YOUR FIRST LESSON IN WEIRD.

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, BUDDY.

[GRUNTS]

Patrick: OH, HO-HO...

[LAUGHING]

[TRUCK BEEPS]

Patrick: WHOO-HOO.

[SPONGEBOB SCREAMS]

MOMMY, MOMMY...

WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?

THOSE ARE UNDESIRABLES, HONEY.

WE ONLY TALK TO NORMAL PEOPLE.

SPONGEBOB, THE WEIRD THERAPY IS WORKING.

YOUR CRATERS ARE COMING BACK.

WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES.

WE'VE GOTTA GET STRANGER.

[FROG CROAKS]

[MUMBLING]

TALK BACKWARDS.

"CHAP BERU SUOY ERA?"

[EATING LOUDLY]

MMM...

[LOUD BELCH]

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

THE FINAL TRANSFORMATION.

HUH?

WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS I BECAME PERMANENTLY NORMAL.

NO!

[CRYING]: I DON'T WANNA BE NORMAL. [SOBBING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR] GO AWAY.

NORMAL IS NOT WORTH IT. WE'RE IN MOURNING.

IT'S ME, SQUIDWARD.

I'M LOOKING FOR SPONGEBOB.

HI.

HOW ARE YOU?

[SCREAMS]

SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE BACK TO YOUR SQUARE SHAPE.

WOW, I GUESS SQUIDWARD'S NORMAL LOOKS

SCARED ME BACK TO MY ORIGINAL FORM.

THANK, BUDDY, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

WONDERFUL WEATHER WE'RE HAVING, HM?

IT SURE IS, BUDDY.

IT SURE IS.

[SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK LAUGH]

[♪...]

[SNORING]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[HORN BLASTS]

[GRUNTING...]

[YAWNS]

OOH... [SIGHS]

[WHISTLING A TUNE]

[GASPS]... WHOA.

[CRASH]

GARY, COME AND GET IT.

[WIND HOWLING]

GARY...

GARY?

GARY.

GARY?

GARY!

HUH? GARY MUST'VE GOTTEN AN EARLY START.

RISE AND SHINE, SQUIDWARD.

YOU DON'T WANNA BE LATE AGAIN.

OK, SEE YOU AT THE KRUSTY KRAB.

GUESS SQUIDWARD NEEDS HIS BEAUTY SLEEP.

NOT EVERYONE IS BLESSED WITH MY NATURAL GOOD LOOKS.

PATRICK, IT'S MORNING.

YOU DON'T WANNA FORGET TO WAKE UP AGAIN.

PATRICK?

OK, SEE YOU AFTER WORK, SLEEPYHEAD.

[WHISTLING A TUNE]

[GRUNTS]

♪ LA-LA-LA, LA, LA-LA-LA

[CLOCK TICKING SLOWLY]

[TIMER DINGS]

HM, SLOW DAY.

GOOD NIGHT, SQUIDWARD.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. KRABS.

GARY, I'M HOME.

GARY, YOU HERE, BUDDY?

GARY?

[GASPS]

HE HASN'T TOUCHED HIS FOOD.

[SCREAMING]: SQUIDWARD!

OPEN UP!

[DOOR SQUEAKS]

SQUIDWARD, HAVE YOU SEEN GARY?

HE'S GONE MISSING.

SQUIDWARD?

NOT A SIGN OF SQUIDWARD ANYWHERE.

SQUIDWARD?

YOU UP HERE?

HM, SQUIDWARD'S CLARINET.

UM, UM, UM...

[SLURPS]

IT'S NOT EVEN WARM.

SQUIDWARD'S MISSING, TOO.

PATRICK! OPEN UP.

SQUIDWARD AND GARY ARE MISSING.

[GROANING]

[GASPS]

[PANTING]

PATRICK'S GONE TOO.

WHAT IF EVERYBODY'S GONE?

SpongeBob: MR. KRABS![POUNDING ON DOOR]

[GASPS]

HE'S GONE, TOO.

SANDY... SHE'S GONE.

GONE.

GONE.

GONE.

GONE.

GONE!

[PANICKED PANTING]

WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO...

[ECHO]: GO...

GO...

...GO?

EVERYBODY'S GONE.

BUT I SWEAR THAT I WILL KEEP THE MEMORY

OF BIKINI BOTTOM ALIVE

BY LIVING OUT THEIR LIVES FOR THEM.

[DEEP BREATH]

[SpongeBob laughing...]

[Recorded SpongeBob continues]

[IMITATING SQUIDWARD]: SPONGEBOB...

WOULD YOU BE QUIET?

YOU'RE DISRUPTING MY GENIUS.

[OUT-OF-TUNE PLAYING]

MR. KRABS, SIR, CAN I HAVE A RAISE?

NO, NOW GET TO WORK.

YES, SIR, MR. KRABS, SIR.

[Elderly voice]: EXCUSE ME, SONNY.

MAY I HAVE A KRABBY PATTY DELUXE, PLEASE?

SpongeBob: RIGHT AWAY, SIR, I MEAN...

[As Squidward]: I MEAN, AHEM, WHATEVER.

HEY, SPONGEBOB, WE'VE GOT AN ORDER FOR A KRABBY PATTY DELUXE.

HEAVEN KNOWS WHY [GIGGLES].

SpongeBob: COMING UP, SQUIDWARD.

[SNORING... EXHALES]

SpongeBob: EXCUSE ME, SANDY.

BUT MAY I HAVE SOME MORE OF THIS DELICIOUS ICE TEA?

[With Southern accent]: WHY SURE.

OOP, JUST A SEC.

[GROANING]

AH! OOH.

WHY SHO' 'NUFF, SPONGEBOB.

[Imitating Mrs. Puff]: GOOD MORNING, CLASS.

CAN ANYONE TELL ME THE FIRST THING YOU DO

WHEN DRIVING A BOAT?

AH, UM, FLOOR IT?

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU FLOOR IT.

EXCELLENT WORK, SPONGEBOB.

WHY, THANK YOU MRS. [GASPS]

PU... PUFF [SOBBING].

THIS IS POINTLESS.

I KNOW, MRS. PUFF.

[CRYING]: I CAN'T REPLACE EVERYONE.

I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN.

OOH, BLANK DRIVER'S LICENSE.

[♪...]

THAT'S THE BABY.

HI, FELLA, IT'S ME.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

IT'S OK, I'M LICENSED.

♪ LA, LA-LA-LA, LA, LA, LA

[CAR STARTS]

OH, YEAH.

LISTEN TO THAT PURR.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

♪ LA, LA, LA-LA-LA...

♪ LA, LA, LA...

♪ LA, LA, LA...

[TIRES SQUEAL]

♪ LA, LA-LA-LA, LA

♪ LA, LA, LA-LA

♪ LA-LA, LA-LA...

[TIRES SQUEAL]

♪ LA-LA-LA-LA, LA, LA...

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[CRASH]

MMM, GOOD NIGHT, BOATIE.

SpongeBob: UH, UH, UH, WHA...

AH, AH!

AH, HA, NO, NO...

NO!

[PANTING]

OH, GARY, I HAD A NIGHTMARE

THAT ALL MY FRIENDS WERE GONE

AND I WAS DRIVING A... [SCREAMS].

[BOAT IDLES]

SO IT WAS TRUE.

I GUESS IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW, BOATIE.

[♪...]

[MOTOR IDLES]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[LAUGHING]

[GULLS CRY]

[TIRES SQUEAL... CRASH]

THIS IS WHERE I WORK.

WANNA HELP ME COOK UP SOME KRABBY PATTIES?

GREAT.

[ENGINE REVS]

[MOTOR ACCELERATES]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[SIZZLE]

BACK WHEN EVERYONE WAS AROUND THEY USED TO REALLY ENJOY THESE.

HERE, TRY ONE.

[CLAMORING]

WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE KRABBY PATTIES?

HUH.

WELL, I GUESS WE CAN STILL MAKE THIS WORK.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[CRASH]

OH, BOY...

WE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT EACH OTHER TODAY.

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT I'D GO CRAZY

WITHOUT ALL MY FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES AROUND

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOUWERE ALL I NEEDED TO STAY SANE.

[MOTOR RUMBLES]

WHAT? A PUPPET OF MY OLD BEST FRIEND?

[SPUTTERS]

MADE ENTIRELY OF KRABBY PATTY MEAT?

[SPUTTERS] [LAUGHS]

OH, BOATIE, YOU ARE A CARD.

SORRY I'M LATE, PATRICK.

[CHUCKLES] BOATIE WAS TELLING ME A JOKE.

SpongeBob: YOU'RE AWFULLY CHUMMY WITH THAT GUY

FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS IT OUT FOR YOU.

WHO, BOATIE?

[CHUCKLES] NO, NO, HE'S...

REALLY?

I CAN'T TALK NOW.

HE'S WATCHING US.

WAIT, PATRICK, DON'T GO.

[ENGINE RUMBLES]

HUH?

[STAMMERING] NOTHING, BOATIE.

I'M JUST GOING TO BED.

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

French Man: THREE DAYS LATER.

"DEAR DIARY, NOT SURE IF I CAN TRUST ANY VEHICLE.

RUN FOR IT AS SOON AS THE COAST IS CLEAR."

[SCREAMING...]

[SCREAMING...]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[ONSCREEN CAR RUNS]

[TIRES SQUEAL] [SCREAMS]

AH, AH!

AH, AH, AHH...

HUH?

SHEESH, CALM DOWN, BOY.

YOU'RE ALL STILL ALIVE?

BUT WHERE DID YOU GO?

IT WAS NATIONAL "NO SPONGEBOB DAY".

NATIONAL "NO SPONGEBOB DAY"?

YEAH, A WHOLE DAY DEDICATED

TO GETTING AWAY FROM YOU.

A DAY? BUT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR WEEKS.

UH... [CHUCKLES].

YEAH, WELL, WE KIND OF MILKED IT A LITTLE.

[SPONGEBOB GASPS]

YOU TOO, PATRICK?

[SCOFFS]: YEAH.

EVERYBODY NEEDS AT LEAST ONE DAY AWAY FROM...

[IMITATING SPONGEBOB LAUGH]

[SNIFFLES] WELL, GLAD YOU HAD FUN.

AW, CHEER UP, BOY.

IT'S A WHOLE DAY INSPIRED BY YOU.

[SNIFFLES] REALLY?

OF COURSE.

FIRST WE BUILD A GIANT WOODEN EFFIGY OF YOU.

THEN WE BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

Krabs: WHOO-HOO.[CROWD CHEERS]

Krabs: BURN BABY, WHOO.

Krabs: AND DANCE ON THE ASHES LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

WOW.

A WHOLE DAY DEDICATED TO ME.

[LAUGHING]

BIG DEAL.

WAIT'LL YOU SEE "NO PATRICK DAY".

COME ON, EVERYONE, LET'S GO.

[WHOOPING AND CHEERING]

[PATRICK LAUGHS]

OOH.

WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?

HELLO?

[QUIETLY]: HELLO?

[♪...]

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