Original subtitles

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[♪...]Squidward: ♪ LA-LA-DA-DA-DA, DA-DUM ♪

♪ LA-LA-LA, DA-DUM-DUM

♪ LA-LA-LA, DA-DA-DA-DUM

♪ DUM-DUM-DUM, DEE-DEE-DEE

♪ LA-LA-LA, DA-DA-DA-DUM

♪ DUM-DE-DEE, DUM-DE-DEE

♪ LA-LA-DA, DA-DA-DA-DOO

♪ DA-DA-DOO, DEE-DEE

[SIGHING]

[♪...]

[CHIRPING]

HELLO, AND WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO A SUPER-SPECIAL EPISODE OF "HOUSE FANCY."

I'M YOUR HOST, NICHOLAS WITHERS.

OUR FIRST VERY SPECIAL GUEST ON TODAY'S SHOW WILL BE NONE OTHER THAN...

[PHONE RINGING]

[GROANING]

[CLEARING THROAT]

HELLO?

UH, HELLO?

AH...

HELLO.

Man: Hello.

[GASPING]

THIS ISN'T SQUILLIAM FANCY-SON

MY LIFELONG RIVAL WHO I MET IN HIGH SCHOOL BAND CLASS, IS IT?

THE SAME.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE WATCHING "HOUSE FANCY", WOULD YOU?

I WAS, UNTIL YOU CALLED.

WELL, SQUIDDY, I ENJOY OUR CHATS, BUT MY CATERED LUNCH AWAITS.

AND YOU KNOW HOW HARD BEING FABULOUS IS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH [CHUCKLES].

WAIT, WHY DID YOU ASK ME IF I WAS WATCHING "HOUSE FANCY"?

SORRY, SQUILLIAM, BUT WE'VE GOTTA GET BACK TO THE SHOW.

WHO'S THAT TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND?

OH, I'M DREADFULLY SORRY, NICKY DEAR.

WELL, TOODLE-OOH, SQUIDWARD.

ENJOY THE PROGRAM.

Withers: OK, folks, we'll be right back after these important messages.

WELCOME BACK TO "HOUSE FANCY," I'M NICHOLAS WITHERS.

HERE NEXT TO ME IS SQUILLIAM FANCY-SON.

HELLO, PEASANTS.

[GROWLING]

LET ME START BY SAYING WHAT A LOVELY FACADE YOU HAVE, MR. FANCY-SON.

WHY, THANK YOU, NICK.

AND YOUR HOUSE DOESN'T LOOK TOO BAD, EITHER [LAUGHS].

[LAUGHS] OH, NICKY.

CAMERA CREW, CAN WE GET A SHOT OF MR. FANCY-SON'S FABULOUS HOUSE, PLEASE?

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

HEY, THAT'S NO BETTER THAN MY HOUSE.

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

[SNIFFS]

I BID YOU WELCOME... TO MY FOYER.

IT'S SIMPLY GLORIOUS.

[MOCKING:] IT'S SIMPLY GLORIOUS.

IT TRULY IS, NICKY.

IT'S LIKE I'VE DIED AND GONE TO FANCY HEAVEN.

[CHIRPING]

IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?

IT SURE IS.

IT'S A GILDED DOORKNOB.

ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL.

ABSOLUTELY IMPORTED.

MAY I?

BUT OF COURSE.

OH... LOVELY.

ISN'T IT?

WELL, I HAVE TO SAY, SQUILLIAM, AND I THINK I'M SPEAKING FOR

ALL OF OUR VIEWERS OUT THERE WHEN I'M SAYING THIS.

YOU ARE TRULY A FANCY MAN.

[CHUCKLES] OH, WELL.

ALL THIS GUSHING IS PERFECTLY DESERVED.

AND NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT TO YOU

MY FAVORITE ROOM IN THE HOUSE.

IT'S ALL CUSTOM.

[SIGHING] LOOK AT THIS.

IT'S MY JEWEL-ENCRUSTED TOILET PAPER HOLDER.

SUCH CLASS.

[♪...]

COME, LET ME SHOW YOU... THE ROOF.

[GASPS] AN ELEVATOR?

WATCH YOUR STEP.

THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE, JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX.

WHAT THE?

A WHIRLPOOL BATH ELEVATOR?

I BROUGHT SOME SOAP.

[BELL DINGS]

ALL ASHORE.

WELCOME TO MY ROOFTOP GARDEN.

ROMANTIC GROTTO...

SPARKLING, BERRY, MINERAL-SODA WATERFALL...

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...

A 130-FOOT-LONG SCULPTURE OF MY UNIBROW.

IT'S HUGE AND LIFELIKE.

IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, YOU'LL NOTICE IT'S MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF GILDED DOORKNOBS.

YOU HAVE THE FANCIEST...

[PHONE RINGS]

EH, WHAT?

YOU HAVE THE FANCIEST...

[PHONE RINGS]

I HAVE THE FANCIEST RING?

NO, YOUR PHONE IS RINGING.

OH.

[PHONE RINGS] [CLEARS THROAT]

HELLO?

OH, YEAH, HANG ON.

UH, IT'S FOR YOU.

[CLEARING THROAT]

HELLO, HELLO?

[CLEARS THROAT] HELLO?

HELLO.

MY NAME IS SQUIDWARD TENTACLES.

AND MY HOUSE IS FARFANCIER THAN THAT SLOB SQUILLIAM'S.

REALLY?

REALLY.

OK, WE'LL BE AT YOUR HOUSE IN TWO HOURS WITH A CAMERA CREW.

[DIAL TONE HUMS]TWO HOURS?

BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD TIME TO WASH MY HAIR.

[SCREAMS] THERE'S A STAIN ON THE RUG.

UH, UH, AH, I'LL USE THIS CHAIR TO HIDE IT.

THERE WE GO.

NOW I'LL JUST... [SCREAMS].

THERE'S A HIDEOUS HOLE IN THAT WALL.

I'LL JUST USE THIS PAINTING TO COVER IT UP.

PERFECT.

[SCREAMS] NO, NO!

[CLOCK CHIMES]

OH, I'LL NEVER GET THIS PLACE IN SHAPE IN TIME.

SPONGEBOB!

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME?

UM... WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?

IT'S THE DAY YOU GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK.

BUT SQUIDWARD, IF I DO THAT

THEN HOW AM I GONNA HELP YOU GET YOUR HOUSE READY FOR THE BIGT.V. SHOW?

HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

I WAS SPYING ON YOU.

YOU WANT ME TO GET THE COPS DOWN HERE AGAIN?[CLOCK CHIMES]

BECAUSE...

[SIGHS] ALL RIGHT, FINE.

ONE SLIP UP, AND YOU ARE OUT OF HERE, COMPRENDO?

MUCHO COMPRENDO, SEÑOR HABANERO.

ALL RIGHT FIRST I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOMETHING SOSIMPLE

A PERSON WITHOUT A BRAIN COULD EVEN GET IT DONE RIGHT.

HOO, THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE I LENT MY BRAIN TO PATRICK FOR THE WEEKEND.

REALLY?

NO, NOT REALLY.

HE TRADED ME THESE TWO CHOCOLATE BARS FOR IT.

I DON'T CARE.

JUST USE THIS PAINT TO COVER UP THAT FADED PART ON THE WALL RIGHT THERE.

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE.

OK.

[SUCKING NOISE]

[SQUISHING NOISES]

SPONGEBOB, WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?

[SCREAMS] SKIN ME ALIVE AND DRENCH ME IN BOILING OIL!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LIVING ROOM?

I TOLD YOU JUST TO PAINT THE FADED SPOT.

WELL, IT ALL LOOKED KIND OF FADED.

[HISSES]

[CLOCK CHIMES]

NEVER MIND.

MAYBE IT WON'T SHOW UP ON CAMERA.

HERE, HELP ME MOVE THIS SOFA.

YOU GOT IT, SQUIDDY, WHERE ARE WE MOVING HER TO?

HANG ON, I'M TRYING TO GET A GRIP ON THE THING.

NOW DON'T MOVE IT TILL I SAY...

OW!

OK, IT' SON MY FOOT, I DON'T...

OW!

OK...

Squidward: OW!

[SCREAMS]

SPONGEBOB, I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE IT TILL I SAID...

[SCREAMS]

WHY DO YOU KEEP MOVING IT?

'CAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING, "OW!"

[SCREAMS]

I DON'T NEED YOU, I CAN MOVE IT MYSELF.

[STAMMERS]

WOW, SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE SO STRONG.

AND YOU SPLIT YOUR SOFA IN HALF.

IT'LL BE REALLY EASY TO MOVE NOW.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

OH, NO, THEY'RE ALREADY HERE.

GO GET A VACUUM TO CLEAN UP ALL THE SOFA BITS.

I GOTTA RUN UPSTAIRS AND DRESS MY WOUND.

ROGER.

OK, SQUIDWARD, FOUND THE VACUUM.

SQUIDWARD?

WELL, I'LL JUST VACUUM FOR HIM.

HMM, SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE IS REALLY MESSY.

I'M GONNA NEED SOME EXTRA POWER.

[GRUNTING...]

OK, SPONGEBOB, I FINISHED- WHAT THE?

DON'T WORRY, SQUIDWARD, I'LL TURN IT OFF.

COME OUT OF THERE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

UH, HANG ON, PLEASE.

[GRUNTS][DOORBELL RINGS]

PLEASE, JUST ONE MORE MINUTE, NICK.

WHO'S NICK?

SORRY, SQUIDWARD, I COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

I GOTTA USE YOUR TOILET, NO QUESTIONS, THANKS.

[PATRICK GROANS AND SIGHS]

WHOO.[TOILET FLUSHES]

I WOULDN'T GO IN THERE FOR A COUPLE DAYS.

OR WEEKS.

[WHEEZING AND GASPING]

PLEASE, PLEASE...

SOMEBODY PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.

[COUGHS AND WHEEZES]

HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL...

[WAILS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

OH, HEY, SQUIDWARD.

IF YOU SEE SPONGEBOB, CAN YOU GIVE HIM HIS BRAIN BACK?

I WAS BORROWING IT FOR THE WEEKEND.

I'LL JUST SET IT, UH, HERE.

SEE YOU.

[WHOOSHING NOISE...]

THANK YOU, PATRICK.

[BEEPING]

OH, NO.

[SCREAMS...]

[♪...]

HELLO, AND WELCOME BACK TO "HOUSE FANCY."

WE'RE ARRIVING AT THE HOME OF A MR. SQUIDWARD TENTACLES

WHO CLAIMS HIS HOUSE IS FAR FANCIER THAN THAT OF SQUILLIAM FANCY-SON.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

WELL, I, UH, UM, I-I-I, I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO SAY THIS.

GO AHEAD, SAY IT.

Withers: SQUIDWARD TENTACLES, YOU SEEM TO HAVE USHERED IN

AN ENTIRE NEW ERA IN HOUSE FANCINESS.

HUH?

I HAVE... I HAVE?

WHAT YOU HAVE DONE HERE HARKENS BACK TO THE ILLUSTRIOUS

POST-PRIMITIVE MOVEMENT POPULARIZED BY FAMOUS DESIGNER SOL LIMPKINS.

SAY, WAS HE A BIG INSPIRATION FOR YOU?

WHY, YES.

I'VE STUDIED HIM FOR... YEARS.

[GRUNTS]

I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE

WILL BE FEATURED IN AN HOUR-LONG, COMMERCIAL-FREE "HOUSE FANCY" SPECIAL.

AND... SQUIDWARD WILL BE CROWNED "HOUSE FANCY" PRINCE OF THE YEAR

AN HONOR WHICH WAS ORIGINALLY TO BE BESTOWED UPON SQUILLIAM

BUT, [LAUGHS], NOW ISN'T.

[SQUILLIAM GROANS]

[CHEERING AND LAUGHING]

[SNIFFLES AND CRIES]

OH, DON'T WORRY, SQUILLIAM.

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET SQUIDWARD TO HELP YOU REDECORATE.

HE IS A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE.

YOU KNOW SUCCESS HASN'T GONE TO HIS HEAD?

HE IS STILL THE SAME, OLD, GREAT GUY, HE HAS NOT CHANGED.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

AND THIS IS THE MAXIMUM-SECURITY LEVEL.

SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST DAY, I'LL LET YOU PEEK AT OUR NUMBER-ONE INMATE.

[WHISPERS:] He's too dangerous to let him around the other inmates.

WHY, WHAT'D HE DO, ROB A BANK?

WORSE, HE TRIED TO STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA.

OH, OK...

SO THAT'S WHY WE KEEP HIM BEHIND THESE IMPENETRABLE, SIX-INCH STEEL DOORS.

'COURSE, IT HELPS TO LOCK IT.

HE'S GONE.

HE'S SO SMALL, HE COULD BE ANYWHERE.

HE COULD BE RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES.

UH, FRANK, WHERE'S YOUR MOUSTACHE?

[KLAXON WAILS...]

[LAUGHS]

THOSE FOOLS'LL NEVER FIND ME NOW.

AW, COME ON, BABY, YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN IN THE STIR.

Woman: GET OUT.

AND STAY OUT, YOU TWO-TIME LOSER.

AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU.

Woman: BEAT IT, YOU JAIL-BIRD, AND TAKE ALL YOUR JUNK TOO.

[GRUNTS]

WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT.

HEY, IT'S MY OLD GUITAR.

I USED TO PLAY IT WHEN I WAS IN THAT BAND AS A KID.

MAN, THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES.

OK, EVERYBODY.

ONE, TWO, A-ONE-TWO-THREE.

[PLAYING JANGLING CHORDS]

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I'VE HAD ANY GOOD TIMES.

SpongeBob: ♪ OH, I WISH I WAS FRYING UP SOME KRABBY PATTIES ♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT I REALLY LOVE TO DO ♪

♪ TAKE A CUP FULL OF BOO-OOH-OOH ♪

♪ AND A PINCH OF AWOOGAH

♪ A TEASPOON OF [BLOWING RASPBERRY] ♪

HE'S SINGING ABOUT THE KRABBY PATTY.

IF I COULD JUST GET HIM TO EXPLAIN THAT SONG

I'LL HAVE THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA.

♪ MIX IN SOME...

HI, SPONGEBOB.♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAH

THAT'S A REAL NICE SONG.

♪ ADD A SPLASH OF WHEE...

BUT COULD YOU EXPLAIN THOSE "WHEE" PARTS?

♪ AND WHEN I'M DONE, I CHOP UP SOME ♪

[GRUNTS]

♪ OH, OH-OH, OH-OH...

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

UH, I MEAN, THAT WAS A DELIGHTFUL SONG YOU WERE SINGING.

THANKS, PLANKTON.

MR. KRABS MAKES ME CENSOR OUT ALL THE PATTY INGREDIENTS FROM MY LYRICS.

OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

KRABS SHOULDN'T STIFLE A TRUE ARTIST LIKE YOU.

GO AHEAD AND SING YOUR PATTY SONG UNCENSORED.

[GASPS] I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

WHAT, ME, I'M NOT TRYING TO STEAL THE PATTY FORMULA.

YOU WANT ME TO... JOIN YOUR BAND.

WHAT BAND, I DON'T HAVE A BAND.

OH, BUT YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

NOT WHEN YOU GOT AN AWESOME GUITAR LIKE THAT.

AND ONLY A TRUE ROCKER WOULD HAVE HAIR AS GREASY AND NASTY AS YOURS.

IT'LL BE SO COOL, WE COULD WRITE SONGS TOGETHER.

SONGS?

YES.

AND YOU CAN TEACH ME YOUR KRABBY PATTY SONGS.

YAY.

COME ON, LET'S GO GET OUR BAND TOGETHER.

PATRICK, PATRICK.

SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB.

PATRICK, I'VE GOT BIG NEWS.

ME TOO, ME TOO.

WHAT'S YOUR NEWS?

I FOUND OUT WHERE BOOGERSCOME FROM.

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

EW, REALLY?

UH-HUH.

WHAT'S YOUR NEWS?

PLANKTON JUST ASKED ME TO JOIN HIS ROCK-N-ROLL BAND.

CAN PATRICK JOIN OUR BAND?

SURE, WHATEVER.

HEAR THAT, PATRICK, YOU'RE IN.

ALL RIGHT.

I PLAY A MEAN BELLY.

[BELLY POUNDS TO THE TUNE OF "THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE"]

WOW, PATRICK, WE'RE GONNA BE FAMOUS!

[SQUIDWARD LAUGHS]

GIVE ME A BREAK.

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC.

TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT A MUSICAL GENIUS.

LIKE ME.

SpongeBob: OH, SQUIDWARD...

[SQUIDWARD GRUNTS]

WHAT THE...WOULD YOU HELP US BY JOINING OUR BAND?

WELL, I COULDHELP YOU.

BUT I WOULDN'T SOIL MY ART PLAYING ROCK-N-ROLL.

DRESSING ALL IN BLACK, WEARING BOOTS COVERED IN SPIKES

PLAYING ENORMOUS STADIUMS FILLED WITH SCREAMING, ADORING FANS...

CLAPPING, DEMANDING ENCORES...

CHEERING ME...

[IMITATES CHEERING]

OH, UH, CHANGED MY MIND.

I'LL JOIN YOUR BAND AND HELP YOU BOTTOM-FEEDERS.

BUT I GOTTA GET IN SHAPE FIRST.

ISN'T THIS GREAT, PLANKTON, SQUIDWARD IS GONNA HELP US.

HMM?

UH, YEAH, GREAT.

YOU KNOW, PATRICK, BEING IN A BAND

GIVES YOU THE LIBERTY TO DRESS WITH A LITTLE MORE... UH, HOW SHOULD I PUT THIS?

YEAH?

WELL, WITH JUST A LITTLE MORE...

GO AHEAD, SAY IT, SPONGEBOB.

YOU KNOW, PIZZAZZ.

[CLEARS THROAT] PERHAPS YOU DIDN'T NOTICE...

MY NEW HAIRDO.

SpongeBob: WHOA-HO-HO, I STAND CORRECTED.

AND UNLIKE YOUR NASTY, LITTLE WIG...

MINE IS REAL.

MAN, HOW'D YOU GROW THAT SO FAST?

NATURAL TALENT, WATCH THIS...

[GRUNTS]

WHOO, YEAH!

DIG THAT FANCY FOLLICLE WORK.

HEY, CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

[GRUNTS]

OH, MAN, SQUIDWARD'S NOT GONNA WANT TO MISS THIS.

[RINGING]

Squidward: HELLO?

HI, SQUIDWARD, AREN'T YOU COMING TO BAND PRACTICE?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO BEFORE I'M FAMOUS.

[GRUNTING]

[SNAPPING NOISE AND SQUIDWARD SCREAMING]

[LAUGHS] OK, THEN, WE'LL KEEP YOUR SEAT WARM.

PATRICK?

I'M ON IT.

GREETINGS, FELLOW BAND-MATES.

HEY, PLANKTON, WHAT'S THAT?

T-SHIRTS.

[GASPS] OOH.

OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY...

[LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]

AH, "PLANKTON AND THE...

PATTY STEALERS"?

UH, IF YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE THE NAME, UH...

I...

LOVE IT!

KIND OF VAGUE AND MYSTERIOUS.

CAN I GET MINE IN PINK?

[GROWLS]

[LAUGHS]

IT LOOKS LIKE A TATTOO.

HEY, PLANKTON, CAN OUR FIRST SONG GO LIKE THIS?

[LOUD MUSIC]

AND THEN TURN INTO ONE OF THOSE SONGS THAT GOES...

[HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING]

YES, PERFECT, NOW ALL WE NEED ARE THE LYRICS.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING PERSONAL.

MAYBE A SECRET YOU KNOW, OR A FAVORITE RECIPE, HMM?

OR... ONE ABOUT MY NEW FRIEND PLANKTON?

OR THE ADVENTURES OF...

STOP IT, [GROWLS].

THE BEST KIND OF LYRICS ARE THE ONES THAT ARE DEEP AND REVEALING.

SOMETHING ONLY YOU KNOW?

[COUGHS] SECRET RECIPE.

I ONCE SEARCHED FOR MY INNERMOST SECRETS.

ALL I FOUND WAS THIS.

[MUFFLED] IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN, PLANKTON?

[PLANKTON GRUNTS...]

SpongeBob: WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S MY, UH, RECORDING EQUIPMENT.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

OH, MY GOSH, WHAT DO I DO?

JUST TAKE A SEAT HERE, AND I'LL STRAP YOU IN.

NOW JUST RELAX AND LET THE EQUIPMENT DO ITS JOB.

[BEEPING AND SUCKING]

NOW LET'S SEE WHAT'S LOCKED IN HIS SUBCONSCIOUS.

[STATIC CRACKLES]

♪ TIME TO FEED HIM, TIME TO FEED HIM, NOW IT'S GARY'S FEEDING TIME ♪

NOPE.

[STATIC CRACKLES]

♪ BRUSH, BRUSH, BRUSH MY TEETH, GENTLY KEEP THEM CLEAN ♪

THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA'S GOTTA BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

[BEEPING AND FEEDBACK]

WHAT'S GOING- [SCREAMS]...

[GROANS]

[CRIES]

I'M A FAILURE.

CHEER UP, PLANKTON.

WE'VE STILL GOT A WHOLE WEEK BEFORE OUR FIRST GIG AT THE KRUSTY KRAB.

[CRIES]

AT THE KRUSTY KRAB?

UH-HUH, BUT OLD MAN KRABS DOESN'T WANT US BUGGING THE CUSTOMERS.

SO WE HAVE TO GO IN AFTER HOURS WHEN NOBODY'S THERE.

WHEN NOBODY'S THERE?

[PURRS]

[SQUIDWARD GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

MY PERFECT DREAM-BODY.

[♪...]

Narrator: ONE WEEK LATER...

[TIRES SCREECHING]

OH, NO, IT'S THE COPS, I CAN'T LET THEM SEE ME.

WHY?

WHY?

UH, COPS ARE AUTOGRAPH HOUNDS.

YEAH, THEY'RE ALWAYS AFTER ME.

MM, THAT'S TOUGH.

DON'T WORRY, I'LL HIDE YOU.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU KIDS UP TO THIS LATE AT NIGHT?

WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO OUR FIRST GIG.

WE'RE IN A BAND.

A BAND, HUH, WELL, THAT'S, UH...

OH.

UH, YOU'VE GOT A, UH...

GOT A, UH, WHAT [LAUGHS]?

UH... IT'S RIGHT...

YES [LAUGHS]?

JUST KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN, KID.

SURE THING, OFFICER.

THEY'RE GONE.

YOU WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS TO ANYONE.

COME ON, COME ON, HURRY UP.

SpongeBob: DON'T WORRY, I JUST NEED TO GET THE KEY OUT.

[HUMMING...]

GIVE ME THAT, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL.

YES, THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS MINE.

UH, I MEAN, WE'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.

NOW WHERE DOES KRABS KEEP THAT FORMULA?

WHOO, LET'S ROCK!

YEAH.WE'RE GONNA BE STARS.

ALL RIGHT.

SQUIDWARD, ARE YOU READY?

I'M READY.

OK.

PATRICK, ARE YOU READY

[LAUGHS]

PLANKTON, ARE YOU READY?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

PLANKTON?

[GASPS] PLANKTON.

UH... I'M READY?

SpongeBob: WAIT A MINUTE...

WAS THIS BAND JUST A FRONT SO YOU COULD STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET FORMULA?

WHAT, NO, I WAS IN IT FOR THE MUSIC, MAN.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

[SIGHS]

WELL, AT LEAST I'M BACK TO MY OLD CELL.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.

WE'VE GOT A SPECIAL CELL FOR YOU.

BUT I LIKED MY OLD CELL.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE.

SpongeBob: THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE, PLANKTON.

WE'VE ONLY GOT 22 YEARS TO PRACTICE BEFORE OUR NEXT GIG.

A ONE AND A TWO...

[♪...][PLANKTON SCREAMS]