Original subtitles

Captioning Provided By: MTV NETWORKS

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

Captain: ♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[♪...]

SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪ ...KRABBY PATTY, KRABBY PATTY, KRABBY PATTY ♪

♪ SQUIDWARD HAD A KRABBY PATTY WHOSE BUNS WERE WHITE AS SNOW ♪

[SPONGEBOB LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB

WHERE IT'S ALMOST AS IF THE EVOLUTIONARY CLOCK TICKS BACKWARD.

♪ ...SQUIDWARD HAD A KRABBY PATTY... ♪

EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A SECOND.

♪ ...AS SNOW [LAUGHING]

DO YOU MIND, I'M TRYING TO WORK AT A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY IT SOME TIME!

I SURE WOULD, SQUIDWARD, THAT SOUNDS-

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

SPONGEBOB, YOU ALREADY DO WORK AT A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.

OH, YEAH.

YAY! YAY!

REMIND ME TO FIRE MY THERAPIST.

AND STOP BRINGING YOUR NEIGHBORS TO WORK.

Patrick: WE'RE NOT JUST NEIGHBORS.

SpongeBob: YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

Patrick: WE'RE NOT JUST-

Squidward: I DON'T CARE!

[LAUGHS HALTINGLY] $4.19, PLEASE.

♪ KRABBY PATTY, KRABBY PATTY, KRABBY PATTY... ♪

[GRUNTS]

ALL RIGHT!

I AM GONNA- WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO, BUT-

♪ SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE KRABBY PATTY WHEN SHE COMES ♪

[SQUIDWARD SCREAMS]

SPONGEBOB, YOU NINCOMPOOP, YOU BROKE MY FACE.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE, HELP ME.

I NEED A DOCTOR.

[PHONE RINGS]Woman: DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

Woman: YOU HAVE A VISITOR IN THE MAIN LOBBY.

Woman: DR. KRAVITZ...

[GASPS]

SpongeBob: OH, DOCTOR, IS HE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

FOR THE LOVE OF NEPTUNE,TELL ME.

WELL, SON-

NO, DON'T TELL ME!

I CAN'T TAKE IT.

[CRIES AND WAILS]

WE SHOULD KNOW-

NO, NO, PLEASE, JUST, JUST DON'T.

WE WON'T KNOW FOR TWO WEEKS, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.

TWO WEEKS, I'LL NEVER MAKE IT.

MORNIN', SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE EARLY TODAY.

GOOD MORNING, NURSE WRETCHED.

HI, MABEL, SAVED THE BLUE ONE JUST FOR YOU.

OH, SPONGEBOB, BLUE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR.

UH, OR IS IT ORANGE?

[LAUGHS] DON'T WORRY, MABEL.

I'LL BET YOUR AMNESIA'S GONNA WEAR OFF IN NO TIME.

MY WHAT?

HI YA, SQUIDWARD.

I'VE BEEN PRACTICING HOW TO FLOP ON MY BACK.

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

WE CAN'T REALLY HAVE YOU IN HERE TODAY.

I'M GOING TO BE REMOVING SQUIDWARD'S BANDAGES

AND HE MADE ME SWEAR TO KEEP YOU FAR AWAY FROM HIM.

IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS ALREADY?

DON'T WORRY, DOC, I PROMISE TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY.

OK, AS LONG AS YOU STAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE-

[SIGHS]RIGHT.

DON'T RUSHIT.

SORRY, GO AHEAD.

SpongeBob: WAIT!WHAT IS IT?

ARE YOU SURE THE PATIENT HAS ENOUGH [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

PLEASE, JUST LET ME WORK.

VERY WELL, DOCTOR, CARRY ON.

MAY I?

HOLD IT, THE READINGS ON THIS BRAIN METER ARE ALL WRONG, WE MUST POSTPONE THE OPERATION.

THAT IS A TELEVISION SET PUT HERE FOR THE PATIENTS' ENJOYMENT.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN PLUGGED INTO THE WALL.

YOU'RE RIGHT, DOCTOR, PROCEED WITH OPERATION: SEVER.

SpongeBob: HOLD IT!NOW WHAT?!

Woman: DOCTOR, WE CAN'T DO THIS.

SURELY WE CAN USE A LESS-DANGEROUS PROCEDURE.

AFTER ALL, WE HAVE TO START THINKING ABOUT THE WELFARE OF-

SpongeBob: WAIT!WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THIS TIME?

I JUST WANTED TO SAY SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOU BEFORE.

[GASPS]

I, I...

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

[GASPS]

Squidward: SPONGEBOB?

YEAH?

Squidward: HOW DOES IT LOOK?

GREAT NEPTUNE.

Squidward: COME ON, SPIT IT OUT, I CAN TAKE IT.

TIME FOR YOUR MEDICINE, MISTER- MISTER... MISTER...

HANDSOME.

OOH...

Squidward: WHAT DID SHE CALL ME?

HANDSOME, BUT SHE SPELLED IT WRONG.

Squidward: QUICK, HAND ME THAT MIRROR.

WHAT THE-

WAIT A SECOND...

THAT NURSE WAS RIGHT.

I AMHANDSOME.

EH, SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE NOT HANDSOME.

YOU'RE A HUNK!

[♪...]

[WOMAN GASPS]

SO HANDSOME.

HANDSOME.

HELLO, HANDSOME.

SpongeBob: GEE, SQUIDWARD, PEOPLE REALLY SEEM TO BE NOTICING HOW HANDSOME YOU ARE NOW.

YOU MIGHT EVEN MORE HANDSOME THAN BEFORE.

OH, SO HANDSOME.

IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.

[GASPS]

IT'S A MIRACLE, I CAN WALK.

I CAN SEE.

I CAN FLY.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

UH-OH, MY SHOE'S UNTIED.

MR. HANDSOME, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

NO, NOT THE BOOK, ON MY RETAINER.

Both: A LIMOUSINE?

[CHEERING]

WELL, SPONGEBOB, EARLIER TODAY, MY SPINE WAS HURTING.

BUT NOW I'M RESTING ON FINE, LEATHER UPHOLSTERY.

[CHEERING...]

WELL, I'M GONNA GO CLIP MY TOENAILS, SQUIDWARD.

DON'T FORGET TO ENJOY BEING HANDSOME.

OH, DON'T WORRY.

[CROWD CHANTS] HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME...

HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME...[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[CHANTING CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND]

HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME...

GEE, HUH?

WELL, BETTER GO GREET THE COMMONERS.

HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME...

GOOD MORNING, MY PEOPLE.

I'M SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU WAITING, BUT

EVEN I, [LAUGHS], STRANGE AS IT SEEMS

NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP.

I WANT HIS SHIRT.

I WANT HIS EYELIDS.

[CHEERING]

[GASPING]

I GUESS I KEPT THEM WAITING A LITTLE TOO LONG.

I KNOW.

A LITTLE MUSIC SHOULD SOOTHE THEIR HUNGER.

Crowd: HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME, HANDSOME...

HEY, WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

WAIT, IT'S HIM, THE HANDSOME MAN!

[CHEERING...]

BEAUTIFUL ANDTALENTED, WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?

DON'T WORRY, FOLKS, THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, AND-

HEY!

I GOT THE CLARINET.

[CHEERING]

[MAN SCREAMS]

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS] THERE'S NOTHING A LITTLE FOAMING, HERBAL BATH CAN'T CURE.

HEY, MY GRANDMOTHER GAVE ME THAT SOAP.

WELL, NO ONE EVER SAID IT'D BE EASY BEING SO HANDSOME, SQUIDDY. [CHUCKLES]

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO START GETTING USED-

[SCREAMS]

HI, HANDSOME.

HANDSOME. HANDSOME.

HANDSOME.

AUGH.

LET'S GET HIM.

[SCREAMS]

[CROWD SCREAMS]

SPONGEBOB!

YOU GOTTA HELP ME.

THEY STOLE MY BUBBLE BATH.

PUBLIC LIFE AIN'T ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.

I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK.

HMM, I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO.

[SAWING NOISE]

[CROWD SCREAMS...]

Mr. Krabs: SQUIDWARD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

YOU KNOW WHAT THE KRUSTY KRAB MEANS TO ME, DON'T YOU?

AND YOU TOOK IT UPON YOURSELF TO BRING ALL THESE...

THESE CUSTOMERS TO ME.[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

HEY, DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.

THERE'S PLENTY OF SQUIDWARD TO GO AROUND

SO EVERYBODY JUST LINE UP AND GET YOUR POCKETBOOKS OUT.

FOR A SMALL FEE OF $14.98 PER PERSON

EVERYONE WILL GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO TOUCH SQUIDWARD.

WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

TAKE THE DOOR AND CHANGE ME BACK.

AND I'LL EVEN THROW IN A FREE SOFT DRINK FOR AN EXTRA $3.

COME ON, SPONGEBOB, TAKE THE DOOR AND SMASH MY FACE BACK.

I CAN'T.

IT WAS ONE THING DOING IT BY ACCIDENT

BUT I CAN'T HURT YOU ON PURPOSE.

YOU BETTER HURT ME, OR I'M REALLY GONNA HURT YOU!

WELL, OK.

NOW DON'T HOLD BACK, SPONGEBOB, JUST REALLY LET ME HAVE IT.

JUST REMEMBER, SQUIDWARD.

THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME MORE THAN IT'S GOING TO HURT YOU.

UM, OK, LET ME JUST MEMORIZE-

[SCREAMS] HEY, I WASN'T READY.

WOULD YOU MIND WAITING TILL I-

HANG ON, YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK LIKE YOUR OLD SELF AGAIN.

NOPE, STILL TOO HANDSOME.

IT'S STILL NOT WORKING.

MAYBE I'M NOT DOING IT HARD ENOUGH.

[SQUIDWARD GROANS] UH, HANG ON A SEC-

Squidward: LET ME-

[SQUIDWARD GROANS]

[SCREAMS]

SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE EVEN MORE HANDSOME NOW.

[CHEERING]

AND THAT CROWD IS IN A FRENZY.

WELL, SPONGEBOB, IT WAS YOU WHO GOT ME INTO THIS MESS

NOW YOUHAVE TO GET ME OUT AGAIN.

I KNOW, SQUIDWARD.

[GRUNTS], I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

[GRUNTS], I JUST NEED, [GRUNTS], I JUST-

[CRASHING NOISE]

[MAN SINGS OPERATICALLY]

[SPEAKS IN SLOW-MOTION] GOT... ME... INTO...

SQUIDWARD, LOOK OUT FOR THAT FALLING SHOE!

HUH?

[SPONGEBOB GRUNTS AND GASPS]

[SQUIDWARD SCREAMS]

SQUIDWARD...

SPONGEBOB...[CROWD GASPS]

YOU'RE BACK.

OH, SQUIDWARD.

I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE SMASH YOUR FACE.

I ALMOST WISH THAT MEANT SOMETHING.

[CROWD GRUMBLES AND MURMURS]

HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

DON'T LEAVE ME.

PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.

LOOK, I CAN MAKE HIM HANDSOME AGAIN, WATCH.

SEE?

HE'S GETTING HANDSOME.

IT JUST... TAKES A LITTLE... EFFORT.

JUST A LITTLE... ELBOW GREASE.

PLEASE... COME BACK...

[♪...]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

NEPTUNE STIRRED UP QUITE A GALE TONIGHT.

HE MUST BE MAD ABOUT SOMETHING.

[LAUGHS]

THAT'S SILLY, EVERYONE KNOWS POSEIDON IS RULER OF THE UNDERSEA.

AH, MY LEFTOVERS.

[SOBBING]: NO...

WHY, DEAR NEPTUNE?

[SPONGEBOB SNORES]

[SPONGEBOB SPUTTERS]

MM-HMM, GOULASH.

HEY, OUT THERE, YOU DROPPED YOUR GOULASH.

HELLO...

[WHISTLING]

MY PORES ARE WHISTLING IN THE WIND.

[WHISTLING]

[LAUGHS]

[DISTORTED WHISTLING]

[LAUGHS]

[DISTORTED WHISTLING...]

[LAUGHS]

[WHISTLING]

[♪...]

[JELLYFISH BUZZES...]

[♪...]

[LAUGHS] THAT TICKLES.

[JELLYFISH BUZZES, PORES WHISTLE]

AWW, THE LITTLE CRITTER LIKES MY WHISTLING PORES.

[LAUGHS]

[BUZZES]

THAT TICKLES. [LAUGHS]

Deep Voice: WELL...

MY SHIFT'S OVER.

[CASH REGISTER DINGS, BIRDS CHIRP]

TIME FOR WORK, SPONGEBOB.

ALL RIGHT, JELLY, OUT YOU GO.

[INHALES LOUDLY]

IT'S BEEN REAL FUN, BUT I GOTTA GET TO WORK.

QUITE A WIND THIS MORNING, EH, JELLY?

WHOA...

[GRUNTS] [BUZZING]

HEY, SPARKY, CAN YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY RIGHT NOW?

[LAUGHS] OH, NO, PLEASE...

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] STOP IT, PLEASE, STOP IT.

[LAUGHS]

WHOA...!

[SCREAMS] I'M GONNA BE LATE.

I TOLD YOU GUYS I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY.

[GRUNTS AND SCREAMS]

[BUZZING]

I HAVE NOT BEEN TARDY ONE TIME IN MY CAREER AS A FRY COOK.

AND I'M NOT GONNA START TODAY.

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[BUZZING]

[JELLYFISH LAUGH]

[GASPS]

I NEED TO CALL IN SOME HELP.

[GRUNTS]

MY FINGERS ARE TOO BIG FOR THE BUTTONS.

[GRUNTS]

[RINGING]

'ELLO, THIS BE THE KRUSTY KRAB.

MR. KRABS, I NEED YOU.

SPONGEBOB, WHERE YOU BEEN?

CUSTOMERS ARE BLOWING IN HERE LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

I AM SORRY, MR. KRABS, BUT THESE JELLYFISH DON'T WANT ME TO GO TO WORK.

JELLYFISH?

THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO MY... WHISTLE-Y HOLES.

UH...

I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

BUT IF IT'S TRANSPORTATION YOU NEED, I KNOW JUST THE THING.

[SPONGEBOB SCREAMS]

GOT YOU.

OOH, THIS ONE'S PUTTING UP A FIGHT.

[GRUNTS AND SPUTTERS]

FIGHTIN' TOO HARD.

[GRUNTS AND SPUTTERS]

YOU'RE GONNA REEL HIM IN, KRABS, YOU'VE GOTTA WEAR HIM DOWN.

[GRUNTS AND SPUTTERS]

GIVE HIM A LITTLE SLACK.

[GRUNTS]

YANK.

A LITTLE SLACK...[GRUNTS]

AND YANK.

[GRUNTS]

THERE HE IS, READY FOR WORK.

DRAW BACK THAT POINT, NOW GET IN THERE AND START PUSHING OUT THEM PATTIES.

AYE-AYE, SIR.

LET'S GET THESE PATTIES STARTED RIGHT.

WHOO.

THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.

[SIZZLING]

SpongeBob: ORDER UP.

[HUMMING]

OOH...

[WHISTLING...]

[BUZZING]

[♪...]

[GASPS]

OOH.[JELLYFISH BUZZ]

OH, NO, THEY FOUND ME.

[BUZZING]

NO, NO-NO, GUYS, PLEASE.

UH, WOULD YOU MIND COMING BACK AFTER BUSINESS HOURS?

HEH, I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE.

[SPONGEBOB SCREAMS]

Reporter: The weather situation is much worse across the country.

And it doesn't look like the winds are going to stop anytime soon...

[LAUGHS]

FISHY GO BYE-BYE.

[SPONGEBOB WHIMPERS]

OW.

And that's the way it is in your world today.

BORING.

I DON'T WANT TO WATCH ANY OF THIS BORING STUFF.

I WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING DECENT, LIKE-

SpongeBob: SORRY, PATRICK, I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE FROM THOSE JELLYFISH.

WHAT JELLYFISH?

EVER SINCE THE WINDS STARTED

A SOUND WHISTLES THROUGH MY HOLES THAT JELLYFISH SEEM TO LOVE.

[WHISTLING]

[JELLYFISH BUZZ ALONG TO THE MUSIC]

HEY, PAL.

[SCREAMS]

SPONGEBOB, GET OUT OF HERE!

I'M SORRY, SPONGEBOB, BUT YOU'VE BECOME A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE.

[LAUGHS SLIGHTLY]

AT LEAST THE WIND STOPPED.

[SCREAMS]

[THUDDING NOISE]

[WHIMPERING]

I THINK I LOST 'EM.

WELL, I GUESS I SHOULD JUST STAY IN HERE, WHERE IT'S SAFE.

AND QUIET.

AND DARK.

OH... [GULPS]

IT'S OK, I'LL ONLY HIDE OUT HERE FOR A SECOND.

YEAH, IT SHOULDN'T TAKE LONG.

BEHIND THESE ROCKS.

THESE SEDENTARY, LIFELESS ROCKS.

Narrator: LATER...

HEY, BUDDY, JUST THOUGHT I'D SPRUCE YOU UP A LITTLE.

WHAT'S THAT?

OOH, YOU DON'T SAY.

WELL, GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, TOO, MM-HMM.

COME ON, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

LOOK, BUDDY, MM...

DINNER'S READY.

HERE, LET'S HAVE SOME TEA.

WANT SOME SUGAR, BUDDY, HUH?

ONE LUMP OR TWO?

OH, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

[GIGGLES]

I FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU.

[ROCKS RATTLE IN SPONGEBOB'S MOUTH]

CAN I CONFESS SOMETHING, 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

I HAVE THIS... PROBLEM.

I SEEM TO ATTRACT JELLYFISH.[LAUGHS]

HUH, HOW DO YOU HANDLE A THING LIKE THAT, HMM?

YEAH, YEAH, I'M AT A LOSS, TOO.

OH, BARNACLES!

I'M GONNA BE STUCK IN THIS CAVE FOREVER!

[GASPS]

OF COURSE, BUDDY, BRILLIANT IDEA.

[GRUNTS]

WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS THIS TIME.

[BUZZING]

OH, HERE THEY COME.

GO GET 'EM, BUDDY.

[BUZZING...]

[BUZZING]

[GASPS] HEY, GUYS, LONG TIME NO SEE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY LITTLE FRIEND'S SONG?

[SCREECHY MUSIC]

SOMETHING WRONG?

[WHIMPERS]

HMM, I CREATED ONE STONE SPONGEBOB THAT UTTERED A NOTE IN A FOUL KEY.

BUT IF I WERE TO CRAFT ANOTHER IN A DIFFERENT SIZE

THE DIMENSIONS OF THAT HOLLOW CENTER

MULTIPLIED BY THE NUMBER OF HOLES

MAY OFFER ANOTHER TUNE.

ONE THAT COULD SOOTHE THOSE JELLYFISH.

BUT WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT SIZE?

EH, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE A BUNCH OF 'EM.

[HUMMING]

[LAUGHS]

[GRUNTS]

OK, THAT SHOULD DO HER.

[♪...]

[JELLYFISH BUZZ ALONG TO THE MUSIC]

WHOA, IT ACTUALLY WORKED.

[SIGHS] THEY'RE FINALLY LEAVING ME ALONE.

I CAN GO BACK TO WORK NOW.

[LAUGHS]

KRUSTY KRAB, HERE I COME.

[GASPS]

HOW LONG WAS I GONE?

NO...!

NO...

[SCREAMS]

Narrator: 3,000 YEARS LATER.

Woman: TO THIS DAY, NO ONE KNOWS WHY THESE MYSTERIOUS STATUES WERE CREATED, OR BY WHOM.

ALL WE KNOW IS THE GENIUS OF THEIR DESIGN

HAS CAUSED THE ANNUAL MIGRATION OF JELLYFISH TO THEIR WONDROUS TUNE.

[SPONGEBOB LAUGHS]

[♪...]