Original subtitles

ARE YA READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[CRYING]

THERE, THERE, SPONGEBOB.

NO NEED TO CRY.

YES, THERE IS, PATRICK.

SANDY'S BEEN GONE FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS.

TWO WHOLE DAYS?

[CRYING]

OH, WHY'D SHE HAVE TO GO TO THAT SCIENCE CONVENTION IN TEJAS?

TEJAS.

[CRYING]

SHE WON'T BE BACK FOR ONE MORE HOUR

26 MINUTES AND 47 SECONDS.

OH, 47 SECONDS... [SOBBING]

[CRYING]

I MISS SANDY SO MUCH.

HER TENTACLES, THE WAY SHE PLAYS CLARINET.

HER MASSIVE NOSE.

[CRYING]

PATRICK, THAT'S SQUIDWARD.

HE'S NOT GONE, HE'S RIGHT HERE.

NO, I'M NOT.

I SURE DO MISS THAT SQUIRREL.

HER KARATE CHOPPING.

THAT 10-GALLON GLASS DOME OVER HER DOME.

AND WHO CAN FORGET THOSE BUCK TEETH?

AFTER SANDY GETS BACK

WE'RE GONNA LET HER KNOW HOW MUCH WE MISS HER.

IS SANDY THE ONE I CALL "MOM"?

NO, PATRICK, THAT'S YOUR MOTHER.

BUT THAT DOES GIVE ME AN IDEA.

WE'LL THROW SANDY THE MOTHER OF ALL WELCOME HOME PARTIES.

PATRICK, TO THE TREE DOME.

[CHEERS]

[INHALES, BLOWING HARD]

[PANTING]

AH.

[GASPS]

HUH?

WE'VE READIED THIS PLACE FOR SANDY'S ARRIVAL WHICH SHOULD BE IN ABOUT...

WHOA, RIGHT NOW.

[TIRES SCREECH]

♪ WELCOME HOME, SANDY

♪ YOU KNOW THAT WE MISSED YA ♪

Man: NO!

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING.

SORRY, SPONGEBOB, HE'S GOT A FIERCE NO SINGING POLICY.

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, MISS CHEEKS

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE A FIERCE "NO PARTYIN'" POLICY.

[LAUGHS]

FIRST, CAKE, THEN WE'LL KARATE CHOP

AND THEN...WOW, GUYS.

YOU TWO... UH, REALLY KNOW HOW TO... UH, THROW A PARTY.

I KNEW IT.

YOU HAVE BEEN ITCHIN' TO SEE US.

WELL, SOMETHING'S MAKIN' MY SKIN CRAWL.

MAYBE A SLICE OF CAKE

WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF YOUR CRAWLING HIDE?

PATRICK AND I MADE THIS CAKE ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR RETURN.

THIS IS GONNA TASTE SO GOOD AGAIN.

DIG IN, SANDY.

UH...

LOOKS TASTY, SPONGEBOB.

YOU OK, SANDY?

I'M FINE.

MY SKIN JUST HASN'T ADJUSTED TO THIS HERE UNDERWATER AIR.

UH, HEY, SANDY, SANDY?

SURPRISE, PATRICK AND I CHIPPED IN

AND GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHIN' SOMETHIN'.

AW, GUYS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

A NEW ITCH BOARD... I MEAN, A NEW SNOW BOARD.

BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO SCRATCH THIS DOWN CHAFE MOUNTAIN.

DON'T YOU MEAN RIDE THIS DOWN SCAB MOUNTAIN?

THANK YOU VERY RAWNESS, SPONGEBOB AND PAT.

UH, YOU'RE WELCOME, SANDY.

HEY, ARE YOU STILL UP FOR SOME KARATE CHOPS?

RASHY SORE... I MEAN, SURE.

YOU READY?

[GRUNTING]

AND HOW ABOUT NOW?

YOU READY?

[GRUNTING]

CREEPING CRITTERS, FEELS LIKE SOMETHING'S BITIN' ME.

[SQUEALS]

I'VE GOT A FLEA?

WELL, I AIN'T GONNA TAKE THAT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

HI-YA!

I'LL GET YOU, HYA, HYA, HYA!

RRR...

SPONGEBOB, AH...

MY SUITCASE, HURRY.

I'M ASHAMED TO SAY THIS, SPONGEBOB

BUT WHILE I WAS IN TEXAS, I SEEM TO HAVE PICKED UP A FLEA.

WHAT'S A FLEA?

A FLEA IS A DASTARDLY LITTLE VERMIN THAT BITES US AIR BREATHERS.

BUT THIS HERE FLEA COLLAR WILL SEND THE CRITTER A-RUNNIN'.

[ENGINE RUNNING]

[LAUGHS] HE TICKLES.

OH, THIS ISN'T SO BAD-

OW... HE BIT ME.

GOT ANYMORE OF THOSE FANCY COLLARS, SANDY?

NO, BUT YOU CAN USE THIS ONE RIGHT QUICK.

[SCREAMING]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[LAUGHS] CONNECT THE DOTS.

I DRAWED A HORSIE.

[CRUNCHING]

OUCH, WHY DOES THIS FLEA KEEP BITING ME?

'CAUSE HE'S HUNGRY.

WHEN A FLEA BITES YA

IT'S CAUSE HE'S SUCKIN' UP YOUR BLOOD FOR NUTRITION.

I'VE BEEN BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE FLEA.

NO...!

I'M GOING TO TURN INTO A VAMPIRE NOW.

IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING.

AH, AH, AH!

PFFT...

YA-DA-DA-DA-DA.

PATRICK, THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS VAMPIRES.

YAH, DOESN'T MATTER.

OH, THIS ITCH IS KILLING ME.

NYAH... OH!

[SQUEALING]

AH... GIVE ME THAT!

WHEW.

NYAH... OH.

SANDY, PLEASE, HELP ME!

I NEED THIS!

I NEED IT MORE!

EEE!

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERING]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[SQUEALING]

[SQUEALING]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

ENOUGH, I WILL NOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

WHAT YA GONNA DO NOW, PUNKS?

[SQUEALING]

LOOKY, IT WORKED! WHEW!

I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.

UM, IS THAT WHAT "OVER" LOOKS LIKE?

Sandy: TARNATION, THEY'RE MULTIPLYING LIKE MAD.

[SCREAMING]

RUN!

OK.

[PANTING]

[GASPS] OH.

HUH.WHOA.

HEY.

Y'ALL GOT THE AIM OF A CROSS-EYED ARMADILLO.

AH...!

RUN AGAIN!

OK.

UNH.

AH.

[SCREAMS]

AH!

UH, THANKS FOR HAVING US, SANDY, BUT WE GOTTA GO.

YEAH, GOOD TO SEE YA.

AH!

[MUFFLED]: Help, Help!

JUST IGNORE THEM, SQUIDWARD

AND CONTINUE YOUR POWER WALK.

HEEL TOE, HEEL TOE, HEEL TOE, HEEL TOE.

Sandy: BACK OFF!

[GRUNTING]

SANDY, OH, NO!

ARE YOU OK?

THEM VARMINTS IS TOUGH.

THEY'RE FROM TEXAS.

WHEW.

IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, WE WILL HELP YOU.

[SCREAMING]

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?

NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T COME BACK WITH YOUR INFESTATION.

ALL YOU'VE BROUGHT US IS FLEAS

AND TROUBLE AND PAIN AND ITCHING

AND A RASH AND PAIN AND FLEAS

AND ITCHING AND PAIN.

SO MUCH PAIN!

SO MUCH PAIN.

AND AS FOR YOU...

IF YOU HADN'T THROWN THIS PARTY, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU HAD AS MUCH TO DO WITH THIS PARTY AS I DID.

YOU CALL THIS A PARTY?

I'M BEGINNING TO QUESTION OUR FRIENDSHIP.

STOP SMUDGING MY HELMET!

OH, I GOT HALF A MIND, BUDDY.

WILL YOU TWO MEN STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER?

WHAT DOES THAT PROVE?

IF WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF THIS, WE GOTTA WORK TOGETHER.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

SPONGEBOB, YOU GET ON SANDY'S SHOULDERS.

UH-HUH, GOOD.

NOW... [GRUNTS] I'LL GET ON TOP OF YOU.

UNH, AH.

[BELCHES]

OH, MUCH BETTER.

DOH!

I DO NOT PLAY GAMES.

[LAUGHS]

[GASPS]

QUICK, GET IN THE TREE HOUSE.

IT'S THE ONLY SAFE PLACE LEFT.

[WHIMPERING]

WE SHOULD BE PROTECTED HERE.

[RUMBLING]

HOLD ON.

[BEEPING]

[SCREAMING]

IS THIS HOW WE'RE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES?

LIVING IN FLEAS INSTEAD OF WATER?

SPONGEBOB, THAT'S IT... WATER!

HA, HI-YA!

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.

YA.

[CRYING]

WATER!

[THROUGH GLASS]: It sure is good to have you back, Sandy.

[♪...]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[PATRICK MOANING]

[GRUNTS, HEAVY BREATHING]

[GASPS]

WHA, WHA... WHAT HAPPENED?

WHERE AM I?

[CHUCKLES] OH, YEAH, THE PARTY.

I MUST'VE PASSED OUT IN SPONGEBOB'S KITCHEN...

ON THE CEILING.

OOF... OOF!

SEE, SPONGEBOB?

I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T STAY UP PAST 8:30.

THINGS GET REAL CRAZY AFTER 8:30.

WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER SPOT OF TEA, MS. NIBSY?

OH, YOU WOULD?

WHOO... CHAMOMILE, CHAMOMILE, CHAMOMILE!

OH, SHE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO POUND 'EM DOWN, HUH, SPONGEBOB?

[SNORING]SPONGEBOB... SPONGEBOB?

SPONGE... [GASPS][SNORING]

THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKIN' DONUT.

WOW.

[CHUCKLES]

OOF... OW!

WHAT THE?[SNORING]

THIS DONUT'S CONNECTED TO SPONGEBOB.

OH...

OH...

IT WORKED.

[CHUCKLES]

A BEAUTIFUL SPECIMEN OF DONUT-HOOD.

A DONUT THIS NICE DESERVES TO BE SERVED ON FINE CHINA.

[KNIFE AND FORK CLANK TO FLOOR]

[DISHES BREAKING]

THE GOOD PLATE.

DON'T WORRY, DONUT.

NO LONGER WILL YOU SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF SUB-PAR DINING WEAR.

[DISH SHATTERS]

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN A DONUT THIS NICE BEFORE.

[CHUCKLES]

EXCEPT MAYBE THAT DONUT SPONGEBOB SHOWED ME LAST NIGHT.

A DONUT THIS NICE COULD REALLY MAKE A GUY HAPPY.

UH... [SNORING]

[GASPS]

THIS IS SPONGEBOB'S DELICIOUS...

WAI...

I 'AN'T EAT 'IS 'ONUT.

IT'S SPONGEBOB'S.

[CRYING]

GO ON AND EAT IT.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITIN' FOR?

DON'T DO IT, IT'S SPONGEBOB'S DONUT.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S COVERED WITH SPRINKLES.

[CRYING]

I HATE CONFLICT.

IT COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER THAN THIS.

JUST HOOK A CHAIN TO IT

POP IT IN YOUR MOUTH

AND THEN WHEN YOUR SPONGE FRIEND WANTS IT BACK

JUST YANK IT OUT.

I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

[CHUCKLES]

MMM... AH...

[STOMACH RUMBLES]

AND NOW...

[GASPS]

SPONGEBOB'S DONUT, I ATE IT!

[COUGHING]

I'VE GOTTA SNEAK THIS BACK INTO SPONGEBOB'S HOUSE BEFORE HE...

[PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

SpongeBob [ON PHONE]: Hey, Patrick.

AH!HEY, STAR, IT'S SQUAREPANTS.

That was some party last night, huh, buddy?

AH!THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.

"AH!"

LUCKY FOR US, I VIDEOTAPED THE WHOLE PARTY

SO WE CAN RELIVE IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

AH, DON'T WATCH THAT TAPE!

I'M WAITING TO WATCH IT WITH YOU, SILLYFISH.

I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

SHEESH, PATRICK'S SO EXCITED

I BETTER NOT KEEP HIM WAITING.

OH NO...

THAT VIDEO WILL SHOW ME STEALING SPONGEBOB'S DONUT.

UH-OH, UH-OH, UH-OH, EEE, EEE!

I GOTTA HIDE THIS THING.

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SHOES SQUEAKING]

PHEW.

OH.

HEY PATRICK, I- [SCREAMS]

DONUT!

YOU MONSTER.

YOU MONSTER!

[SCREAMS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

NOTHING GOES WITH A VIDEO LIKE TOAST.

LET'S POP SOME TOAST IN THE TOASTER

AND WATCH THIS BAD BOY.

[SCREAMS]

OW, OW, HOT, HOT, OW!

[WATER SPLASHES AND SIZZLES]

[SIGHS]

GET OUT OF THE WAY, PATRICK, I GOTTA GO.

[WHIMPERING]

[GASPS] THE ATTIC.

[SHOES SQUEAKING LOUDLY]

[PANTING]

WAIT, I DON'T HAVE AN ATTIC.

OH...

OH... OOH, I KNOW.

THE ATTIC.

AH![CRASH]

HEY, PATRICK.AH!

H-HEY, SPONGEBOB.

ARE YOU READY TO...

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BEHIND MY BACK, SO DON'T LOOK THERE.

OK, NO PROBLEM.

READY TO SEE THIS?

[GLASS BREAKS]

THE OFFICIAL TESTAMENT OF HOW HEARTILY WE PARTY... HARDY?

[PATRICK WHIMPERING]

NO! [SOBBING]

I TOOK IT, SPONGEBOB.

I TOOK YOUR DONUT.

I'M SORRY.

OH, PATRICK, YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO.

I wanna give you this, because you're my buddy

and a donut this nice

could really make a guy happy.

[THUMP]

YOU MEAN... THIS IS MINE?

OF COURSE, IT WASYOUR BIRTHDAY.

WHEN?

LAST NIGHT, SILLY.

OH, THANKS, BUDDY.

WANNA SHARE IT?

SURE, PAL.

YUM, YUM, YUM...

PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

[♪...]

WELL, GOOD NIGHT FOLKS, COME AGAIN.

THOUGHT THOSE DEADBEATS WOULD NEVER LEAVE.

CLOSIN' TIME, SPONGEBOB.

THERE YA GO, LITTLE BUDDY.

NOW EVERYBODY'S ALL CLEAN AND READY FOR BEDDY-BYE.

TIME TO PACK IT IN, SPONGEBAH...!

ALL READY, MR. KRABS.

JUST GOTTA CLOCK OUT AND...

SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

[SCREAMS]

SPOT, SPOT, SPOT!

THAT'S RIGHT, A SPOT.

YOU KNOW THE RULE.

NOBODY LEAVES WORK TILL...

...TILL EVERYTHING'S SHIP-SHAPE, SIR.

DON'T WORRY, MR. KRABS

I'LL GET THIS PLATE CLEANED UP IN A JIFFY.

OH, AND UH, LOCK UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

LOCK UP? WAIT, MR. KRABS.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE?

SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT YOU ALONE

WITH A LIT BLOW TORCH AND ME ROLLER SKATES.

BUT, SINCE I'VE REMOVED ALL THE WELDING EQUIPMENT FROM THE PREMISES

THERE'S NO-HO-HO CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENIN' AGAIN, RIGHT?

NOW GET TO WORK.AYE-AYE, SIR.

LA LA, LA LA LA LA LA.

MMM, MMM, MMM.

OH, YOU'RE A TOUGH LITTLE GUY, AREN'T YA?

MMM, MMM, MMM.

THIS MEANS WAR.

[RATTLING]

AH...!

AH...!

[PANTING]

WAIT HERE, PLEASE.

[CRASH]

SAY GOOD NIGHT, DRIED-ON FILTH.

READY, AIM, FIRE!

[BOOM]

THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!

AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER...

[CRYING]: YOU MADE ME DO THIS.

ARGH!

I GOT TO FINISH THIS.

I AM AFRAID THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE'LL BE MEETING LIKE THIS, MY FRIEND.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO...

THE SPOTMASTER 6000.

NOTICE, THE MICROWAVE-POWERED LASER PARTICLE BEAM.

NOTICE, THE LASER-GUIDED HIGH PRESSURE WATER CANNON.

AND NOTICE, THE LITTLE SURPRISE I INSTALLED JUST FOR YOU.

A SPECIALLY-WOVEN METAL ALLOY

INGENIOUSLY COMBINED WITH STATE OF THE ART CLEANSING MATERIALS.

I CALL IT... [BEEP] STEEL WOOL.

AND IT COMES WITH... A LASER!

ANY LAST WORDS?

MMM, I THOUGHT NOT.

POWER UP.

WATER CANNON ON.

NO EFFECT.

STEEL WOOL LASER... ON!

HMMM, STRANGE VORTEX IN THE WEST.

WELL, IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING TO DO WITH SPONGEBOB.

[ELECTRONIC HUMMING]

OK, YOU ASKED FOR IT.

IT MAY END LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

BUT I AM CROSSING THE BEAMS.

MORE POWER!

[EXPLOSIONS]

SPONTANEOUS MOLECULAR DISTORTION, HMM?

I GUESS I BETTER GO SEE WHAT THE LAD'S UP TO.

MORE POWER!

OH BOY, THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

MORE POWER!

LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S DONE THIS TIME.

MAXIMUM POWER!

AH...!

[BOOM]

OH, THIS TIME, YA DONE IT, BOY.

WHAT DO YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

THE PLATTER'S ALL CLEAN, MR. KRABS.

OH, I'LL CLEAN YOUR PLATTER!

COME HERE, YOU.