Original subtitles

Captioning Provided By: MTV NETWORKS

ARE YA READY, KIDS?

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

I CAN'T HEARYOU.

Kids: [SHOUTING] AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

♪ OHH...

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN' YOU WISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

Kids: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ READY?

All: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Captain: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪

[CAPTAIN LAUGHING]

[WHISTLING]

[WAVES CRASHING... SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

[♪...]

[NOISY CHEWING]

[SLURPING]

Plankton: HA, HA.

[PANTING]

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, PLANKTON.

KRABS.

I'LL TAKE THAT.

HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?

NEXT TIME, WEAR A DISGUISE WITHOUT YOUR INITIAL ON IT.

HMM... PERHAPS A PEPPER SHAKER WAS A BIT OBVIOUS.

YOU THINK?

SPONGEBOB?

Man: THREE, TWO, ONE, LAUNCH.

[SCREAMING]

[CRASH]

Plankton: NEVER.

NEVER [SOBBING].

I'LL NEVER GET KRABS'S FORMULA.

MR. KRABS IS TOO POWERFUL.

IF ONLY THERE WERE A WAY TO RENDER HIM HELPLESS.

Woman: AW, LOOK AT YOU.

YOU'RE SO SMALL, TINY AND HELPLESS.

HEY, I RESENT THAT... HUH?

WHY, YOU'RE SO TINY AND HELPLESS

I COULD TAKE YOUR FORMULA WHENEVER I WANTED TO

AND YOU COULDN'T DO A THING ABOUT IT.

[CRYING]

SOMETHING ABOUT THAT WOMAN REMINDS ME OF MY MOTHER.

THAT'S IT.

FINALLY, VICTORY WILLBE MINE.

I'LL TURN EUGENE KRABS INTO A POWERLESS...

BABY.

OOH, A PENNY.

A TRAIL OF PENNIES.

[SNIFFING...]

OOH...

[EVIL LAUGH]

I'VE DONE IT.

NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.

MY GOO GOO GAS WILL TRANSFORM KRABS

INTO A TINY, HELPLESS INFANT.

THE KEY TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.

THIS WAS EASIER THAN I HOPED.

[BABY TALK]

HMM.

HE'S A LITTLE BIGGER THAN I IMAGINED.

SHINY... [GIGGLES]

Plankton: WHOA!

NO, NO!

AH, AH, AHH!

OOF!

WHOA!

[BABY TALK]

HEY, A BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE ALL ALONE, BABY?

I'LL TAKE CHARGE OF YOU UNTIL YOUR MOMMY SHOWS UP.

[BABY LAUGH]

OH, AREN'T YOU JUST TOO CUTE.

COOCHIE-COOCHIE-COO.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Plankton: HELLO...

IF YOU'RE DONE MAKING A TOTAL FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF

I COULD USE SOME HELP WITH THIS LOCK.

OH, SURE THING, PLANKTON.

THERE YOU GO LITTLE GUY.

YES.

MY PLAN IS WORKING PERFECTLY.

NOW THAT I'VE TURNED KRABS INTO A HELPLESS BABY

THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA WILL BE MINE.

[LAUGHS]

EH?

HELLO.

POLICE, POLICE!

Plankton: FOOLS...

YOU'LL NEVER HOLD ME.

THESE PRIMITIVE SHACKLES ARE NO MATCH FOR MY GENIUS.

THAT WAS EASY.

Plankton: I'M FREE.

FREE...

OH, SQUIDWARD.

THANK NEPTUNE, YOU'RE HERE.

I FOUND THIS BABY ALL ALONE.

BUT HE WASN'T REALLY ALONE, HE WAS WITH PLANKTON

AND HE'S NOT A BABY.

IT'S MR. KRABS.

PLANKTON TURNED HIM INTO AN INFANT SO HE COULD STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA.

[LOUD BELCH]

WHAT DO WE DO, SQUIDWARD?

DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M GOING ON MY COFFEE BREAK.

A VERY LONG COFFEE BREAK.

AND THEN THAT BLASTED SPONGE CALLED THE COPS.

THAT'S JUST NOT CRICKET.

NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TYRANNICAL OVERLORD.

Karen: DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO EVERYTHING?

NEXT TIME SPRAY SPONGEBOB, TOO.

NOT SURE I FOLLOW YOU.

LISTEN CAREFULLY.

SPRAY...

YES.

SPONGE...

UH-HUH.

BOB...

RIGHT.

TOO.

NOW YOU'RE JUST TALKING GIBBERISH.

WHAT I REALLY NEED IS TO

SPRAY MR. KRABS AND SPONGEBOB.

AHH, THAT'S JUST WHAT...

I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE

OF YOUR LOONY SCHEMES, KAREN.

I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

[FUSSING] AW, WHAT'S WRONG MR. BABY KRABS?

ARE YOU THIRSTY?

THAT'S IT, DRINK UP.

[WHINING CRY]

OK, MAYBE YOU'RE HUNGRY.

HOW ABOUT A NICE HOT KRABBY PATTY?

[CRYING]

YIKES, NOT EVEN A KRABBY PATTY HELPS.

HOW 'BOUT A STACK OF $20s?

"HEE..."

[MUTTERING]

Plankton: HANDS IN THE AIR.

[GASPS]: PLANKTON.

THAT'S RIGHT, SPONGEBOB, I'M BACK.

AND YOU WON'T STOP ME THIS TIME.

WHAT?

SPONGEBOB'S A BABY BUT KRABS IS BACK TO NORMAL?

IT SEEMS A SECOND DOSE ACTS AS AN ANTIDOTE.

ONE SQUIRT EQUALS BABY.

TWO SQUIRTS EQUALS ADULT.

OR IS IT THREE SQUIRTS FOR BABY

AND FOUR SQUIRTS FOR ADULTS?

BARNACLES, I'VE RUN OUT OF GAS.

AHEM...

KRABS!

NICE DIAPER.

Plankton: HOLD ON, HOLD ON, I THINK I...

YES, I'VE GOT IT.

THERE'D BETTER BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN BILLS IN HERE.

PLANKTON.

PEEK-A-BOO.

[PLANKTON LAUGHS]AHH!

I CAN'T TOLERATE

YOUR STINKY GAS.

[FLATULENCE]

THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

I DON'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. [SLURPING]

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, PLANKTON.

NEVER.

OOH, ANOTHER PENNY.

COME TO PAPA.

NOW WHAT WERE WE DOING?

THIS.

[COUGHING...]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?

YOU GONNA CRY?

WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?

THIS ISN'T BABY GAS.

IT'S SENIOR CITIZEN SPRAY.

EH, WHAT WAS THAT, SONNY?

OUT OF MY WAY, METHUSELAH.

YOU'RE OLD AND USELESS.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

OLD PEOPLE ARE OUR GREATEST NATURAL RESOURCE.

I SALUTE YOU, ELDER CITIZENRY.

I'M GETTING OLD LISTENING TO THIS.

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.

I REMEMBER WHEN A QUARTER USED TO COST A NICKEL.

[LAUGHING]

THIS BABY GAS IS WORTHLESS...

AT LEAST YOU'RE WAY TOO OLD

TO STOP ME FROM STEALING A KRABBY PATTY.

WHAT WAS THAT, SONNY?

IT'LL TAKE MORE TIME TO EXPLAIN THAN YOU HAVE LEFT.

WHAT?

[PLANKTON LAUGHS]

HE'S GOT THE KRABBY PATTY.

CATCH HIM.

CATCH WHO?

OH, GEZHUNDHEIT.

[EVIL LAUGHING]

VICTORY IS MINE.

AH!

[PANTING]

AH!

[PANTING]

AH!

[PANTING]

AH!

COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE WHIPPERSNAPPER.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN.

WHEW.

OOH, BOY.

I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU, BOY.

I'M CATCHING UP WITH MY KNITTING.

THAT'S IT.

KNIT, YOU LITTLE NITWIT.

THAT WAS ALMOST TOO EASY.

WHAT?

NO!

I DEMAND YOU GEEZERS RELEASE ME!

RIGHT AFTER THE PARTY...

THE PIÑATA PARTY.

Plankton: WHAT?

Man: THAT'S FOR CALLING US OLD.

HEY, QUIT IT.

I WANT CANDY.

Plankton: NO!

ONE SQUIRT, PLUS ADULT... CARRY THE TWO

GAS VECTOR MINUS BODY WEIGHT, UM-HM...

SQUARE ROOT OF SPONGEBOB...

OF COURSE.

THE FINAL INGREDIENT THAT I'VE BEEN LACKING.

IT'S SO SIMPLE, YET SO EVIL.

AND I KNOW JUST THE PLACE TO GET IT.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT AISLE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?

YOU MEAN THE KELPO?

NO, THAT THING.

THE UGLY, DRIPPY, SMELLY THING.

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY BABY?

CREEP.

[PANTING]

OW, OW, OW!

[MOANING]

[GASPS]

BABY POWDER.

THIS COULD BE JUST WHAT I NEED.

HEY, BUDDY.

IS THIS MADE FROM REAL OR ARTIFICIAL BABIES?

OW, OW, OW, OW!

Plankton: THAT "POWDERED BABY" DID THE TRICK.

NOW MY BABY GAS CAN'T POSSIBLY FAIL.

Karen: JUST LIKE ALL YOUR OTHER PLANS

THAT COULDN'T POSSIBLY FAIL?

WHAT IS IT NOW, KAREN?

I'M SAYING YOU SHOULD TEST YOUR GAS

BEFORE YOU RUN OVER THERE ALL WILLY-NILLY.

THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA.

AND I KNOW JUST THE GUINEA PIG.

[GASPS]: PLANKTON... DON'T YOU DARE.

KAREN, SPEAK TO ME.

IT WORKED.

[SLURPING]

EVERYONE SAY YOUR "A-B-C'S".

NOW WHEN YOU TURN INTO BABIES...

[CRYING]

YOU STAY BABIES.

HEY, KRABS... CATCH.

[CRYING]

WHAT'S WRONG, LITTLE FELLOW?

[CRYING]

[ALL CRYING]

AHH!

[CRYING]

MY MOMENT OF TRIUMPH.

WHOA!

WHAT THE...

OH, GROSS.

I COMMAND YOU TO STOP DROOLING ON ME.

Krabs: GOO. [YELPS]

PUT ME DOWN.

[RATTLING]

OW!

STOP IT.

I'M AN ADULT [SCREAMS].

[BABY TALK]

YEOW!

[SCREAMING]

HUH?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA.

HE'S TEETHING ON IT.

GIVE IT HERE

YOU BIG STUPID BABY.

[GRUNTS]

OW.

[BABY LAUGHING...]

[MOANING]

I'VE GOT IT.

JUST LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.

GET IT, KRABS?

LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM YOU.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[BABY LAUGH]

WHOO...

[EXPLOSION]

UH-OH.

AHEM.

MAMA'S EVIL LITTLE GENIUS NEEDS A DIAPER!

[♪...]

[BELL DINGS]

ORDER UP.

GO NOW AND BLESS THE TASTE BUDS OF YOUR LUCKY CONNOISSEUR.

[SMOOCHES] MWAH.

[CHOKING]

[GASPING]

IT WENT IN MY MOUTH.

[GAGGING]

CHOKING ON SENTIMENT.

[WHEEZING]

LIKE POISON.

OK, YOU SIT THIS ONE OUT SQUIDWARD.

THIS WILL BE A SPECIAL DELIVERY FROM THE CHEF.

FOR YOUR DINING PLEASURE.

TWO DOUBLE KRABBY PATTIES COOKED TO PERFECTION

COMPLIMENTED BY A SIDE OF CORAL BITS AND A JUMBO DIET SODA.

TOPPED OFF WITH A LITTLE EXTRA LOVE.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[GRUNTS]

ENJOY!

[DEEP BREATH... EXHALE]

IT'S THE LITTLE DETAILS

THAT THEY REALLY APPRECIATE, ISN'T IT, SQUIDWARD?

UH...

OH, YEAH, YOU'VE REALLY TOUCHED HISLIFE.

[NOISY EATING... SNORTING]

NOTHING BEATS MAKING QUALITY FOOD FOR GOOD PEOPLE

WITH DISCRIMINATING TASTES.

QUALITY FOOD?

YEAH!

GOOD PEOPLE?

UH-HUH.

DISCRIMINATING TASTES?

TESTIFY!

D'OH...

[HEAVY BREATHING]

ONLY PATHETIC LOSERS WITH HORRIBLE TASTE

WOULD EAT THIS GARBAGE.

[GASP]

[SOBBING]

[LOUD CRY]

[SCREAMING CRY]

SQUIDWARD...

THE KRUSTY CLIENTELE NEEDS TO BE CUDDLED

AND TREATED WITH RESPECT.

THERE, THERE.

MR. KRABS WOULD BE ASHAMED.

ALL RIGHT, YOU FILTHY BILGE RATS.

MR. KRABS?

YA GOT THREE SECONDS TO GET OUT OF ME RESTAURANT

BEFORE I KICK YA OUT.

FINE, HAVE IT YER WAY.

[CUSTOMERS SCREAMING]

WHAT'S HAPPENING, MR. KRABS?

AH, WE DON'T NEED THOSE LOSERS ANYMORE.

I'M TURNING THE RESTAURANT INTO ONE OF THOSE FANCY FROU-FROU PLACES

WHERE THEY CHARGE BIG BUCKS FOR ITSY-BITSY PORTIONS.

FANCY...

FROU-FROU?

WE'RE GETTING A GOURMET CHEF FROM THE CHEF EXCHANGE PROGRAM

AND I'M GONNA RAISE ME PRICES TO THE ROOF.

[LAUGHING]

CHEF EXCHANGE PROGRAM?

[LAUGHING...]

OH, UH, YEAH.

YOU'RE BEING SHIPPED OFF TO SOME OTHER RESTAURANT

SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY FROM HERE.

THE DETAILS ARE KIND OF HAZY.

BUT I PACKED YOUR BAGS AND YOUR BUS LEAVES IN FIVE MINUTES.

HEH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S EARLY.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

IT WAS THAT EASY?

[WITH EMOTION]: ALL THESE YEARS?

[SNIFFLES]

I'VE UNDERESTIMATED THE POWER OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.

WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.

DOES YOUR MIDDLE NAME HAPPEN TO BE

"NO SPONGEBOB WITHIN A THOUSAND KILOMETERS OF HERE?"

[LAUGHING]

I FIND YOU DISGUSTING.

[LAUGHING SUBSIDES]

HOWEVER, MY CULTURE DICTATES THAT I MUST KISS YOU REGARDLESS.

MWAH, MWAH... [SPITS].

MWAH, MWAH... [SPITS].

WELL, HE'S JUST AS AFFECTIONATE AS THE BOY.

BUT THE SURLY ATTITUDE IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

French Chef: WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?

I WOULD NOT WIPE MY OWN BOTTOM WITH THIS.

START OVER.

AND THIS...

[SLURPING... SMACKING]

I WOULD NOT WASH MY OWN BOTTOM WITH THIS

AFTER CAREFULLY WIPING AND WIPING AND WIPING.

NOW GO STAND IN THE CORNER

AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

AND WHERE IS MY EXCHANGE CHEF?

Spongebob: UM, RIGHT HERE, SIR.

OH, HO-HO-HO, THERE YOU ARE.

BONJOUR.

[SMOOCHES]

OOH... [GIGGLE].[SMACK]

NOW...

GET TO YOUR STATION AND PREPARE ME YOUR BEST DISH!

[PANICKING]

[FRANTIC]

[PANICKED]

[SMOOCHES]: MWAH.

ZIS IS NOT FUNNY.

AND I CERTAINLY DID NOT EXCHANGE MY TOP SOUS-CHEF

FOR A... HOW YOU SAY?

COMEDIAN!

[TOILET FLUSH]

PREPARE ME A GOURMET DISH...

NOW!

I'M SURE WITH ALL MY YEARS IN THE KITCHEN

I CAN MAKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN...

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

JUST WARMING UP.

[GROWLING]

AH!

COME ON, SPONGEBOB.

[WHISTLES]

[TIMER DINGS]

AHH!

[GROWLING]

JUST ONE EGG AND...

[NERVOUSLY]

[SIZZLES]

NO... [GRUNTS].

NOPE, THAT'S NOT IT, EITHER.

YOU ARE MAKING A MOCKERY OF MY...

[CHEWING... GULP]

THIS TASTE IS... IS FANTASTIC.

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

[CHEWING... GULP]

A KRABBY PATTY.

[NOISY EATING]

ZE WHOLE WORLD MUST TASTE THIS.

French Man: MEANWHILE, AT THE KRUSTY KRAB...

[DOOR OPENS]

HEY, SQUIDWARD.

LOOK AT THIS.

WE'RE CHARGING $52 SMACKAROOS FOR THIS LITTLE GUY

[LAUGHING]

[SIZZLING]

[SNIFFS]

OHH... WHAT IS THAT?

HEH, I DON'T KNOW.

SOME KIND OF BEAN PASTE OR SOMETHING.

WRONG, MONSIEUR.

IT IS THE RARE FRUIT OF THE KAZOOK TREE.

SO... IT'S SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE ROTTEN GYM SOCKS?

ITS NATURALLY RANCID ODOR

CAN ONLY BE NEUTRALIZED BY SHREDDED GOLD.

SHREDDED [GULPS]... GOLD?

[SCREAMS]

COULDN'T WE USE LESS EXPENSIVE INGREDIENTS?

PRICE CAN BE NO OBJECT

WHEN DEALING WITH EXQUISITE FOOD LIKE ZIS.

IT MUST BE PREPARED WITH ONLY THE FINEST INGREDIENTS

AND EATEN WITH ONLY THE FINEST SILVERWARE

WHILE SITTING ON THE FINEST FURNITURE.

ZIS IS NOT THE CHAIR I ORDERED.

YEAH, WELL, YOU SEE, THOSE WERE OUT OF STOCK.

AND ZIS FORK OF PLASTIC...

SPRAY PAINTED TO LOOK SILVER, IS IT NOT?

[CHUCKLES]

I CANNOT PREPARE FOOD

UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!

MONSIEURSPONGEBOB.

ALTHOUGH IT IS IN DIRECT VIOLATION

OF THE CHEF EXCHANGE PROGRAM RULES

LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT THESE KISSES

ARE NOT MERELY A FORMALITY.

THEY ARE GENUINE.

[SMOOCHES]

I AM SURE THAT THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF A LONG AND...

[TIMER BEEPS]

WELL, MY TIME HERE IS UP.

I'M OFFICIALLY A KRUSTY KRAB EMPLOYEE ONCE AGAIN.

I APOLOGIZE, MONSIEURSPONGEBOB

BUT YOU SEE, MY CUSTOMERS HAVE GROWN

RATHER FOND OF YOUR KRABBY PATTIES.

[GASP]

THE KRABBY PATTIES.

I ALMOST FORGOT.

THESE BABIES ALSO BELONG TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.

WHAT?OH, MY.

SO LONG.

[GASP]

WAIT, JUST ONE MORE.

I'M SORRY...

BUT I'VE GOT TO GO...

[SOBBING]

I'M RUINED [SOBBING].

BUSTED [SOBBING].

[PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

Pearl: [ON PHONE]: Daddy, the house is full of burglars.

OH-HO, NO, THOSE AREN'T BURGLARS, PEARL.

THOSE ARE JUST FRIENDLY REPO MEN.

MR. KRABS, TELL THESE GUYS TO LET GO OF ME.

UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, UNTIL I COME UP WITH THE MONEY I OWE

I'M AFRAID YOU'LL BE STAYIN' WITH THESE NICE GENTS.

YOU SOLD ME?

NO...

BARTERED, IS MORE LIKE IT.

THEY KEEP YOU- I KEEP MY KNEECAPS, HEH-HEH.

COME ON, MAC.

YOU'RE PATHETIC.

OH, MR. LE SCHNOOK.

I'VE LOST EVERYTHING.

I'M BANKRUPT.

YOU AND YOUR FANCY EATS ARE ALL I GOT LEFT NOW.

NOT QUITE.

MY TIME IN THE CHEF'S EXCHANGE PROGRAM HAS EXPIRED

SO MY "EATS" AND I ARE LEAVING.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

IS IT MONEY?

IT IS THE BILL FOR MY SERVICES.

ONE SIDE, PLEASE.

[SNIFFLES]

[CRYING]

OH, I'VE BEEN SUCH A FOOL.

I TURNED AWAY SPONGEBOB

THE BEST FRY COOK I EVER HAD

AND IT COST ME EVERYTHING.

Spongebob: MR. KRABS.

OH, I CAN STILL HEAR HIS SWEET LITTLE VOICE.

[SINGSONG]: MR. KRABS.

OK, NOW I'M SCARED.

MR. KRABS!

DARN HIS CURSED, MOCKING VOICE, I...

SPONGEBOB?[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

AHOY, MR. KRABS.

SPONGEBOB, ME BOY, YOU'VE COME BACK.

AND YOU'VE BROUGHT CUSTOMERS.

[ALL PRAISING KRABBY PATTIES]

WELL, MR. SQUIDWARD, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

I GOT ME POOR DISGUSTIN' OLD CLIENTELE BACK

AND ME RICH DISGUSTIN' NEW CLIENTELE TO BOOT.

[LOUD BELCH]

I'M BACK IN BUSINESS.

COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST GIVE THEM TABLES TO EAT ON?

OH-HO... NO WAY.

SEE, I'VE LEARNED YA CAN'T BUY ME CUSTOMER LOYALTY

WITH FANCY TABLES, FROU-FROU FOOD, OR EVEN SANITARY CONDITIONS.

HEY, GET BACK YOU, EAT YOUR OWN...

NOPE, JUST GOOD FOOD PREPARED WITH LOVE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SPONGEBOB?

YOU GOT IT, MR. KRABS.

[SMOOCHES] MWAH.

[CHOKING... GAGGING]

[KRABS AND SPONGEBOB LAUGH]

[LAUGHING CONTINUES]

[♪...]