Original subtitles

The Vault will soon be the pinnacle of ultra-maximum-security incarceration.

Put a super-villain in here, and trust me, he's never getting out.

Music to my ears, Osborn.

Now that we're finally putting this reprobate behind bars...

...I don't want him seeing the light of day any time soon.

You don't have to take quite so much pleasure in this, Jonah.

Oh, but I do. I really, really do.

Wow, haven't been "in stir" five minutes

and already I'm climbing the walls. Get it?

No? No love?

Fine. Hey, just remember, I'm only here...

...because Normikins asked me to test the security.

So if you're watching, and I know you are, Picklepuss, don't get any ideas.

Delivery. Yet another OsCorp sensor system for the Vault.

All right. Everything seems in order.

You know where to go?

I do indeed.

Never thought I'd find myself busting into prison.

One hour. Curtain in one hour.

My cast is battling stage fright...

...and the director's battling stage panic.

Where is my Puck? Where is Harry Osborn?

Working on it.

Hello, Gwen? Hey, it's M.J.

Have you seen Harry?

His butler said he left home hours ago...

...but he's beyond late and not answering his OsBerry.

Sorry, I haven't seen him all day.

But he's so excited about the show. I'm sure he'll be there.

It's Pete. Message me.

Hi, Petey. Just a little reminder about the play.

Since Mark can't be here...

...I really need a friendly face in the seat I saved you.

Next to my parents?

Remember, you promised.

Where is my Puck?

And call if you've seen Harry.

Alarm bypassed for maintenance.

All right, little stolen OsBerry, do your stuff.

Mapping Vault utilities.

Charting junctures with pre-existing prison.

If breaking out is this easy...

...then little Felicia will be one felicitous felonious feline.

He's been like that for over an hour. You got him beat, Osborn.

Menken, I'm in the middle of a crucial test here. What?

Fine. Gentlemen.

You can't leave now.

You'll miss the web-head's glorious humiliation.

No choice. Urgent OsCorp business.

Besides, I'm sure I'll read all about Spider-Man in tomorrow's Bugle.

Story's already written, Norm.

Jonah must be dancing a jig by now. Who can blame him?

I've checked every inch of this cell. It's seamless.

I want the Vault to be escape-proof...

...but it would be sweet to see the look on the jolly one's face if I escaped.

I can't play jailbird forever, though.

In a few minutes, I have to make my move or ask to be released.

If miss Liz's play, I might as well settle in here permanently...

...because I'll never get out of the doghouse.

Hello, Mr. Allan. Mrs. Allan.

I see Liz's boyfriend hasn't arrived.

Miss Stacy.

Oh, Houseman. I thought Harry saved these seats for his mom and dad.

I'm afraid Master Harry's parents are otherwise occupied.

I just hope Harry isn't otherwise occupied.

Mr. Osborn's still a no-show.

Which leaves us with only one option.

I must play the Puck myself.

Or Hobie could do it.

Mr. Brown? He knows the role?

He knows it cold. I saw him at the Lincoln Dynamic Youth Center.

He subbed for Osborn on the gridiron. Compared to that, this'll be a snap.

A snap.

Well, the Muses know I didn't want to take the stage.

To the dressing room, Brown.

You are now that shrewd and knavish sprite. Go.

-What he's up to? -He's making his move.

What move? He still can't get out.

-And my men will-- -Be here any second. Gotta book.

Releasing tranqg-gas into the cell.

We're in position.

Sir, I don't see the prisoner.

Opening the inner door. Move in.

All right, Spidey, we know you're in there.

I wouldn't poke that if I were you.

Told them not to poke that.

Oh, and, Picklepuss, ta-da.

Warden, if the web-head's not back behind bars in 6.2 seconds, I--

Calm down, Jameson.

Getting out of the cell was only half the battle.

Lockdown.

Gas every corridor.

-Sir, the gas, it won't activate. -Why isn't that gate closed?

What part of lockdown didn't you understand?

Sir, I hit the command sequence. All Vault gates should be closed.

Nothing's responding.

You've been hacked.

Your men are no longer in electronic control of the prison.

Then we'll regain control the old-fashioned way.

-All officers, mobilise. Code Red. -We're locked in.

Every single one of my men are trapped inside their stations.

But how did the web-head do it?

With guards wrapped up All neat and tidy

I help, or herd, my dear friend Spidey

I'm in a rhyming mood tonight.

Surprised they haven't caught me yet.

This must be my floor.

Hey, look. It's Spider-Man.

Well, well, if it isn't Fancy Dan and his little pal Ox.

Where's Montana?

Right here, bug.

And rooming with the not-so-mysterious Mysterio, I see.

How's that working out?

Open up these here cell doors and we'll show you.

Tempting, tempting, but, no.

So you just stopped by to gloat?

I was in the neighbourhood, so how could I resist...

...tormenting all the crooks, thugs and hoods I put away?

You know, maybe "torment” was a poor choice of words.

Finally, we're getting started.

Godspeed, fair Helena.

Call you me fair?

That fair again unsay.

Demetrius loves your fair.

O, teach me with what art you sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.

Take comfort. He no more shall see my face.

Take him. He can't stop all of us.

Now, now, boys, no pushing, no shoving.

Single file is the polite way to attack the hero.

Gracious. Who'd have guessed convicted felons

could be so unmannerly?

We're wasting an opportunity.

Enforcers, we need to get organised.

You got yourself a posse, Silvermane. And then some.

See, you learn a lot about a guy sharing a cell.

Like whether or not he's human.

Oh, man, I knew he was a bot.

Now, we're getting somewhere.

-Now what? -Hi, Daddy.

Not sure why the cavalry hasn't arrived...

...but I better play keep away until I come up with, I don't know, a plan.

Rematch. Rematch.

-The web-head we'll shred. -Johnny needs new shoes.

I hate these guys!

I love these guys. Someone should give them their own show.

Jonah, you can't seriously be rooting against Spider-Man.

He's our only hope of regaining control of the prison. Well?

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Felicia Hardy, what were you thinking?

That my father shouldn't be rotting away in prison.

And what if you got caught?

Last thing I want is my daughter winding up in Rykers' ladies wing.

Besides, your timing couldn't be worse. New York's most wanted...

...controls the prison, and they're trying to exterminate Spider-Man.

Spider-Man? Here?

-Missed. -Drat.

Jazz hands.

Knew tearing and weaving all them sheets together was time well-spent.

Spider-sense tingling nonstop. Can't grok where the next--

Hold him, Ox. I need the workout.

Oh, boys.

Is Spidey really the best dance partner available?

Have you lost your mind or forgotten everything I taught you?

What can I say? I've got a little crush.

It's a chick. Here.

Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.

What was your first clue, Spidey?

The voice, the hair, or just the way I make you feel?

Door's fighting me.

That'll buy us some time at least.

The raging rocks And shivering shocks

Shall break the locks Of prison gates.

We will meet,

and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously.

Take pains, be perfect: adieu.

How now, spirit! Whither wander you?

Over hill, over dale, Through bush, through briar,

Over park, over pale, Through flood, through fire,

I do wander everywhere, Swifter than the moon's sphere.

But either I mistake your shape and making quite,

Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite.

Are you not he That frights the maidens of the villagery,

Misleads night-wanderers, laughing at their harm?

Those that Goblin call you and sweet Puck,

Are you not he?

Thou speak'st aright, I am that merry wanderer of the night.

So Goblin wasn't the only sprite To use the Vault for mischief tonight

But if Spider thinks Cat evens his odds

Gobby will open a few more pods.

Okay, what's going on?

The Goblin's your saviour You owe him a favour

Spidey's trapped in the prison Put him out of commission

The web-creep's here?

Why would I do your dirty work, Goblin? I'm already in prison. What can you do?

Oh, just to be perverse I'll activate your curse

To prevent it getting worse Put the web-head in a hearse

Get that cell open now.

Cat, you're a sight for sore eyes.

My curative powers aren't limited to the eyes.

Don't start. What are you doing here?

-Oh, you won't like it, boy scout. -Cat, don't.

But I'm here to bust out my dad.

Spider-Man, meet Walter Hardy a.k.a. the Cat Burglar.

That face.

Black Cat's father murdered Uncle Ben.

[I met by moonlight,

And never met we,

But with thy brawls Thou has disturb'd our sport.

As in revenge,

The ox hath therefore stretch'd his yoke in vain.

-Tricky webbing. -Sticky webbing.

And tasty too.

Web-creep in there? Then move it, pip-squeak.

Just so you know, there's no way I'm letting you bust this guy out.

Says the spider desperate for the kitty cat's help.

I'm not that desperate. Never that desperate.

Gee, Dad, what'd you do to this guy?

Do it, kid.

Now.

A simple trade, swinger.

I help you get the prison under control, and you look the other way for Walter.

Do you have any idea what happened

the last time I looked the other way for Walter?

Is it getting warm in here?

Weaving spiders, come not here, Hence you long-legg'd spinners, hence!

I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again, Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note,

And thy fair virtue's force doth move me to swear, I love thee.

Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that,

I beseech your worship's name.

Cobweb.

-Where are we? -Back in the Vault.

These tanks hold the prison's trang-gas.

Can you activate them? Spread the gas throughout the prison?

Don't you think the warden would have tried that? Sorry.

Someone needs to lure the cons here,

seal them in, and manually open the tanks.

Whoever did that would be trapped inside.

Exactly. And would a hero like you allow anyone else to take that risk?

Shall we their fond pageant see?

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Send the little guy in, I tell you.

I only take orders from primates.

Any misbegotten malcontents misplace an extremely handsome web-slinger?

I think the turn of phrase you're looking for is "Get him!"

-Get him! -Pistachio!

Up and down, up and down I will lead them up and down

I am fear'd in field and town Goblin, lead them up and down

Can't escape Homunculi.

-Trapped. -Limited time offer.

Monsieur Cobweb, get you your weapons in your hand.

Curses!

Foiled again.

Non sequitur, non sequitur, non--

And you guys got to take the shortcut. Now, how is that fair?

Molten Man, bet you can't hit me from there with a lava ball.

I'll take that bet.

Sucker.

Where'd that bug get to now?

I never tire of hearing that.

Sweet dreams, cellmates.

Is he kidding? No door stops Rhino for long.

I won't need long.

For years, the Cat Burglar took pride in never hurting anyone.

I never even carried a gun.

But as I got older, I got slower and I became afraid.

I made a horrible mistake the night I ended Ben Parker's life...

...and I know I have to pay for my crime.

So I'll turn on the gas.

That won't make us even.

You're not forgiven.

-I understand. -Well, I don't. Dad.

I'm sorry, Felicia.

But right now, prison's where I need to be.

An entire penitentiary full of Spider-haters and still he escapes.

Well, fine.

Gobby's done using surrogate squashers and rhyme schemes.

Feels like my spider-sense is stuck in permanent tingle-mode.

He's back. The Goblin's back.

-Cat, thanks, look, I-- -Listen carefully.

I don't know what you did to infect my father with your conscience.

But it's your fault he'll spend the rest of his life in this hole.

And I'll never forgive you for that.

Sir, we've regained control.

Gotta hand it to Spidey.

He beat the Vault and took out every con in the place.

It's a conspiracy, I tell you. They're all working together!

To what end?

To raise my blood pressure!

If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended,

That you have but slumber'd here, While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding than a dream,

Else the Puck a liar call,

So, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

And Goblin shall restore amends.