Original subtitles

Lasers. How original.

Identity confirmed: Menken-comma-Donald.

Trust me, kid. You don't want no part of this.

Wow. Sorry.

I had no idea Tombstone was bidding.

No harm, no foul, kitten.

But this little chew toy is strictly for the big dogs.

So scat, Cat.

Now, gentlemen, shall we get down to business?

Our final bidder should arrive soon.

Wait a minute, Menken.

You said this was a closed auction.

Nothing's closed to Silvio Manfredi's daughter.

You should know that by now, Hamster.

Little Sable, all grown up.

-A girl grows up fast in this company. -Yeah.

Welcome to the freak show.

Gentlemen and lady, do you know why we're here?

Shall we open the bidding at 500,0007?

It'll make such a nice homecoming gift for my father.

-Six hundred. -Seven hundred.

Eight hundred.

-Nine hundred. -A mil!

-One-point-five. -Two.

-Two million dollars and one cent! -Fifty million.

Why drag this out?

Mr. Kingsley, I'm afraid your bid exceeds...

...the amount deposited in your bidding account.

In fact, it exceeds everyone's.

I'll transfer the balance when the bank opens in the morning.

-We'll do the same. -Yeah!

Then we'll resume tomorrow night.

Someone needs to watch your back.

That's why all our officers have partners in the field.

For example, if Mr. Thompson and Mr. Parker shared a squad car--

Couldn't I have a police dog instead?

You know, for the extra IQ points?

Wisecracks don't save lives, Pete. As I'm sure you know.

Sorry, Hobie. Hold that thought.

Dude! Is that an OsCorp OzBerry?

GPS, Internet, holographic display.

This is a prototype. It's not even on the market yet.

Yeah, your dad gave it to me.

To keep track of me, I guess. It's a mentor-mentee thing.

-I never use it-- -It's cool, Pete. I'm used to it.

-Petey! Italian or French? -Spanish, actually.

-Next period. -Hello?

For our dinner tonight?

Oh, man!

I promised Mr. Foswell I'd stop by the Bugle after school.

But I'm sure I'll be done in time to pick you up, say, 7-ish?

You'll be late. But if you actually show up this time...

...I'll consider it a victory.

No, no, no, and furthermore, no!

But boss, Silvio "Silvermane" Manfredi is getting out of prison this month.

The auction's how he's taking his criminal empire back from the Big Man!

Foswell, you've got Silvermane on the brain!

I'm not risking another dime on this crazy story.

Guy wins a Pulitzer for his Silvermane exposé 12 years ago...

...and all he's gotten since is lazy.

Mr. Foswell? Couldn't help overhearing...

...you know, at Jonah-volume.

You wanted some photos for your Silvermane-Big Man story?

I'm not sure there is a story anymore.

I'm not sure there is one either.

But if the Big Man's involved, I want in.

Maybe pictures would change the jolly one's mind.

Hey, what gives? I wanna bid for my boss.

I think not. Your mystery employer...

...withdrew all the money from his bidding account.

Beat it, small fry.

Hey, I know that guy. Or Spidey does anyway.

Hey, Pete. Thanks for meeting me.

Does everyone have a secret identity?

I believe Mr. Kingsley's last bid was 50 million.

-Fifty one million. -Fifty two.

Fifty five.

Patch planted a bug on Menken.

That's great, Mr. Foswell. But why do we care?

Silvio Manfredi ran this town...

...until the feds put him away and the Big Man took over.

But now that Silvermane's getting out...

...there'll be a gang war for control of the city.

Silvermane's old guard versus the Big Man's status quo...

...versus Doc Ock's new breed of weirdos in costumes.

-So, what are they all bidding on? -The keys to the city.

The specs to mass-produce an army...

...of Rhino-armoured super-mercenaries.

Starting to see why we care.

A hundred mil. Top that, princess.

-One twenty five. -One fifty!

Five hundred million.

I have 500 million dollars bid.

Going once, twice...

Sold to Roderick Kingsley.

Doesn't this Kingsley guy own a perfume company?

-How does he fit in? -Don't know.

Mr. Kingsley, you may claim the jump drive...

...with the specs in one hour at a Tribeca warehouse...

...116 Hudson Street.

I should go now, score a prime-time spot to snap some pics.

Okay, kid. But keep your distance.

I'm calling in the cops and don't want you caught in the crossfire.

Step out of the limo with your hands up!

Well, that's a relief.

Maybe I'll make my date with Liz after all.

Or not.

Sable Manfredi?

Call me Silver Sable.

Now, I believe you have something for my father?

We paid for this fair and...

And all this time, I thought they called you Hammerhead...

-...because you had a thing for sharks. -Steel plated.

I said it before and I'll say it again...

...don't mess with the big dogs.

-For me? You shouldn't have. -I didn't.

Some things never change.

Get me out of here!

Not me! The box!

Although I'm tempted to let you two take each other out--

And don't get me started on the entertainment value...

...of a kick-line of Rhinos at Radio City.

--I'm thinking we keep this tech under wraps.

At least Doc Ock decided not to play.

Indeed, I thought you'd want to know.

-Still using the same dirty tricks? -Oh, I have new ones too.

You're good, princess.

I had a good teacher.

And that's why I broke up with you.

I could never get anything through your thick skull!

The way my skull remembers it, I dumped you!

Whoa, whoa. You two dated?

He keeps getting in the way.

How about we partner up one last time to delete him from the equation.

Finally, something we can agree on.

Whoa, Hammy, what did you see in her?

We had a lot in common. Like hating spiders.

So glad I could bring you two kids together.

-Empty? -Empty!

-Kingsley! He tricked us. -He tricked you.

Took the gizmo and handed you an empty box.

Sorry, gotta swing!

And there goes my story.

Bait and switch.

Sometimes the classics really are the best.

-You! -The one and only.

And I plan on keeping it that way.

Hate to horn in, but--

Hey!

I got the thing on the thing. What do I win?

-You. -I win me? That makes no sense.

I need the police.

-New York will belong to Silvermane! -To the Big Man!

Good. Let them hug it out. I've got bigger, uglier problems.

This is gonna hurt.

Sorry about your ride, Hamster...

...but you shouldn't have taken my drive.

My drive. I mean, the Big Man's drive.

No one's drive. No more Rhinos.

Don't you just hate being interrupted?

So, needle-nose, just to be clear, you want to destroy the specs too?

Yeah. I don't need no competition.

I know I'll regret this...

...but do you want to partner up to destroy it?

Okay. But first, we get them down here.

Not big on subtle, huh?

I want that drive. Get the point?

Look, if we're gonna work together, you gotta get better material.

-Wow, they really have issues. -Yeah.

-Wanna get in there? -Hey, I'm a professional pest.

Nice one, partner.

Sorry, I'm dismembering our partnership.

What? No high fives? No kumbayas?

I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

Daddy was so right to fire you.

That's what I get for taking pity on the boss's daughter.

Missed again.

Not aiming at you.

Man, tell me I did not just fall for a gag I once used on Shocker.

Got the idea from Ms. Manfred..

Figured if it worked on me, it would work on mindless over there.

Good call. Thanks.

Hey, never hurts to have someone watch your back.

Leastways, that's what I tell my students.

Those are some lucky students.

I'm sorry, Mr. Kingsley. We gave you the merchandise.

Securing it was your concern.

No refunds.

Yes.

Everything went exactly as you planned.

So no one knows you gave Kingsley a fake drive in the first place?

No, sir.

You have half a billion dollars in an unmarked account...

...to use as you see fit.

Plus the original to re-sell later, or use yourself.

Very good.

Liz, I am so, so sorry.

But I can show you pictures to prove I was helping Mr. Foswell.

I'm not mad.

Okay, sure, it's too late to go out but at least you showed this time.

I kind of don't deserve you.

You kind of don't. But we'll work on that.

Wow, Gwen is so cool.

I mean, Liz! Liz!

Enough with the gang war already!

Auction this! Jump drive that! No one cares!

Police report says the web-head teamed up with Rhino!

-Rogue Spidey-- That's our lead story! -They're the same story!

Got your pictures, partner.

Rhino and Spidey fighting Hammerhead...

...and Silver Sable to destroy the jump drive...

...and prevent a gang war!

They were? They did? Foswell, where's that story?

What do you want, another Pulitzer? I got breaking news to publish.

Out! Out! Out!