Original subtitles

Let's go, stavros.

Come on!

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Mm.

I'm gonna hate myself In the morning.

No, pass it over, please.

Line forms to the right, men.

You, frank.

Call.

Call? I raise.

You don't spook me this time.

Good.

Theo, it's monica again.

What do I tell her?

Tell her We're playing the last pot.

I'll call.

Call.

Queens up.

Seven, no help.

What's that?

It's a message for you From monica.

Yeah.

The rich get richer.

Three jacks.

What can I tell you? Your bet.

I'll check to the raiser.

Seven high straight Still working.

Okay, it's up to you, vince. I pass.

Bet a hundred.

I'm out.

Over and out.

Oh, frank.

50, then what?

60, 70, 80, 90.

Call.

You're looking at 'em.

You know how much he's dropped The past six weeks?

Hey, frank, What do you want me to do,

Adopt him, huh?

He's got about as much business In playing poker

As I've got entering a Marty allen look-alike contest.

- theo! - now, don't get me wrong.

I mean, I like vinnie. I like letitia.

I don't know. How long they been married now?

Four years?

They're still playing house.

They're acting as if life were One big trip to disneyland.

Is that bad?

It is if you can't afford it.

Well...

I dropped $230.

Did I ask?

Well, you got a right.

It's your money too.

I know what you're thinking.

The dishwasher's busted.

We're two months behind On the car payments.

The drapes need cleaning, and...

I told kojak to hold the check Till after payday

So it'll be sure to clear.

Looked like a lock.

Who's to figure He'd have a straight?

I don't know what it is.

It's not like I have the itch.

A pony now and then, The football pool,

Friday night poker With the troops.

It's part of living.

It shouldn't even signify.

No, no, it shouldn't.

But it does.

Everything does.

Pop's funeral expenses.

Your boutique going bust.

If it's not one thing, It's something else.

Never even a piece of luck.

It's like god gave me you And then he said

"That's enough luck For any one man's lifetime,

Vincent pomerantz, so don't come Scratching around for more."

You sorry?

I wanted to give you The world.

You have.

My old man.

You should have seen him Before the stroke.

6'2", and he was built Like a phone booth.

But gentle.

Six mouths to feed On a brakeman's take-home,

And he never whimpered.

Every saturday, He'd come walking in,

And mom would be sitting there With the envelopes spread out

On the kitchen table.

One for con ed, One for the gas company,

One for dr. Horowitz, One for edna's piano teacher.

Must have been A dozen of them, easy.

And pop, he'd lean down, Give her a peck on the cheek,

And turn over his wages.

She had This ratty old cloth coat,

Practically falling apart.

It took some doing, But the old man

Finally talked her Into getting a new one.

She picked it out at klein's.

I remember that little fur trim On the collar.

Anyhow, it looked like fur.

She started saving up for it,

Putting a little aside Each week.

Well, naturally, that wasn't What pop had in mind.

He'd meant she should let The bills go hang just once

And walk right in there And buy it.

Well, you could see He wasn't gonna budge her,

And at the rate she was going,

Us kids would have been grown up And married

Time she saved enough.

So pop, he decided to take Matters into his own hands.

Without her knowing it,

He sneaked 5 bucks From the cookie jar

And bet it on a two-year-old At aqueduct.

The look on his face

When he turned up with that coat From klein's...

She never wore it.

For the rest of her life, It lay in a box

On the top shelf Of their bedroom closet.

She was punishing him, you see.

Never mind he won;

People like us had no business Taking chances.

Whatever fate dealt us, That's the hand we had to play.

It was 12 years later Pop had his stroke.

But the day She refused to wear that coat

Was the day he died.

I'd have worn it.

Everybody in position Down there?

Everything's set.

Stand by. Here come the goodies.

Hey, hold it! Police!

Get up.

All right, I don't want To mess up this time.

I want all the exits covered.

Take it, kid.

Come on. Who's to know?

There's over 10,000 in there.

All you got to do Is close your eyes.

How about it?

Huh? Huh?

Vince!

Pomerantz!

Noth-nothing in there.

All right, Let's check out here.

Oh, man.

All right, heads you tell him, Tails...

Ah!

You're telling me You lost him.

Is that what you're trying To tell me?

That's the gist of it, Lieutenant.

Then why do you think We staged this extravaganza?

Dinky geller, That's the slob I wanted.

He's the one who went and put The blocks on shelley briscoe.

These other bums Will be bailed out

And on the streets in an hour.

Well, anyway,

We zapped One of shelley's operations.

If I'm any judge, There's got to be

At least a quarter of a million In contraband here.

Oh, come on, Will you, frank?

It's only a drop in the bucket.

This shelley briscoe'll Open up another store

Before the police property Clerks can tag this stuff.

All right, you get with stavros.

Get those turkeys mugged And booked.

You, sherlock, Let's go play kiss-and-tell.

Well, now we know How dinky got out of here.

Yeah, and he took the ledgers With him.

Well, he probably heard Vince coming

And knew he was cut off.

He couldn't have had That much time.

Are you kidding?

That's fast Even for willie shoemaker.

You know, dumpy dinky Going through this escape hatch

Is like threading a needle With a wet noodle.

I guess you had to be there.

Huh.

Hi, honey.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Inventory took longer Than we'd expected.

Did you have your dinner?

No, I wasn't really hungry.

I preferred to wait for you.

Aw, I'll only be a minute.

I want to get comfortable.

How was your day? Exciting?

Oh, not particularly.

Oh.

Vince?

- yeah? - what's this?

I don't know. Beats me.

Why don't you open it up And find out?

It's not from klein's either.

I don't understand. How?

Well, this dude I knew Was in a jam.

I did him a favor,

And he insisted on expressing His gratitude.

That's a lot of gratitude.

It was a lot of favor. Do you like it?

Like it?

I love it.

Something else You're gonna love.

What?

See these?

Receipts Stamped "Paid in full."

Now, I didn't bail us out, But I sure put

Some breathing space Between us and our creditors.

And you?

What did you do for you?

- for me? - mm.

The look on your face, That's for me.

Try it on.

Just try and stop me.

Oh.

Hello?

You were a fool to pay retail For that mink, mr. Pomerantz.

Who is this?

Let's just say I am a business associate

Of a certain party for whom You recently did a favor.

You've engaged my interest, Mr. Pomerantz.

I even made it a point To check you out.

For example, I know that you are In a financial bind.

You've been moonlighting Weekends as a cab driver.

What a way to live.

I ask you, What kind of a life is that?

You're building up To something.

Forget it. I'm not interested.

How do you know?

Why don't you hear me out first?

A friend of mine Is in need of a favor,

Defendant in an upcoming trial At which you happen to be

The district attorney's Chief witness.

Sammy jurgens.

Now, if you were to, you know, Shade your testimony,

Suffer a convenient Memory lapse,

$10,000, vincent.

Tax free.

It won't work, anyway.

Lieutenant kojak is also A witness for the prosecution.

With a very significant Distinction.

You actually saw the crime.

He arrived on the scene Moments later.

There'll be a man Waiting in the restroom

Just outside the courtroom.

As a token of my good faith, You may collect in advance.

We still got a few minutes.

I think I'll hit the men's room.

That's a shrewd move. I think I'll join you.

Lieutenant? Phone call for you.

Pomerantz?

You first.

Give your boss a message.

Don't come to the well again.

Are you sure, frank?

Sure enough for the d.A. To want to trot them

Before the grand jury

Just as soon as They can squeeze them in.

I'm telling you, we're not just Gonna tie a can to briscoe;

We're gonna plow under His entire organization.

Only, theo, Keep this under your hat, huh?

Word leaks out prematurely,

There'll be a fire sale On harps.

Okay, frank.

What happened? They repeal the miranda?

Not quite the cigar, But you're close.

Well, well, well,

Look what just come Out of the sewer.

Banjo-eyed benny, The gonif's gonif.

I wonder what brings this slime To this hall of justice.

Maybe one of his pals Is standing trial.

What pal? Are you kidding?

With his personality?

I mean, he couldn't strike up A friendship

With the city of brotherly love

When the city of brotherly love Was the city of brotherly love.

Court should be in session Now, lieutenant.

Oh, thanks, shorty.

I booted it

Like some rookie Fresh out of the academy.

Forget about it.

It happens to the best of us.

I mean, I've seen experts,

Professionals in the witness box

Crumble like stale cookies.

What that defense attorney Did to you,

Any justice, he'd be charged With murder one.

And jurgens walks

After all the time we put in.

We had him dead to rights.

We'll nail him.

A schlep like jurgens,

He can't walk around the corner Without committing a felony.

Come on. Let's go.

Hey, vincenzo.

Get a load of this.

Ah, look at this fashion plate.

Ooh, look at this.

What's the matter?

A man can't take his wife To dinner without a chaperone?

We're planting On that shelley briscoe,

Captain's orders.

Told us to make a log on Every move that barracuda makes.

- briscoe's inside? - yeah.

Come on, honey. Let's go.

Whoa, ho, ho. Wait a minute.

What, are you kidding?

If we had to steer clear Of every chow house

Frequented by the wise guys,

We'd have to take all our meals At the automat.

Come on. Go on in there.

Hey, vince.

Mangia, mangia, baby.

I wouldn't say no To a doggie bag.

I just spoke to the d.A.

It's all systems go.

The grand jury is issuing A subpoena for shelley briscoe.

Oh.

Well, you tell them I claim the privilege

To serve that cockroach myself.

- I'll call them back. - ah.

Darling, what's the matter?

It's these muscles.

I think they sneaked Into the country

Under an assumed name.

Complements Of monsieur briscoe, sir.

Briscoe, you sleazy punk,

I ought to ram this Down your slimy throat.

Where do you get off Buying me champagne?

Just looking at you is enough to Make me want to puke my dinner.

Here, creep, in case You ain't got my message.

I'll take a dozen 8x10s.

That was better Than the bicentennial minute.

Sit down.

If I want you to stand, I'll Whistle the national anthem.

All right, hear ye, hear ye.

As an award for the best Performance of the year

By a toilet bowl,

The city of new york And the people in it

Would like to present you With this engraved subpoena.

Come on, charlie brown.

Get some air.

Now, how long you been a member Of the kamikaze squad?

Okay, What would you have done?

Well, that was dom perignon.

I would have drunk the contents

And then busted the empty bottle Over his head.

My favorite parlay.

A woman who smells as good As she looks.

Check, please.

What, are you kidding?

At these prices, you could eat The tablecloth.

Besides, the sun's shining.

It's our anniversary.

Why don't you join us? We'd love to have you.

Uh, pass.

I mean, I'm still thinking You're young enough

Whereby you want to be alone With the tete-a-tete

And all that.

But I'll take a rain check On your silver anniversary.

Take care of your man, lady.

He's acting like he got A tiger in his tank.

Cheers.

Why did you lie to him?

It's not our anniversary.

You're a cop. You're caesar's wife.

He sees us eating in a joint Like this, he begins to wonder.

I'm scared, vinnie.

Why am I scared?

Crocker, manhattan south.

Hold on.

Vinnie, line three.

Detective pomerantz. Can I help you?

Don't talk. Just listen.

Write this number down.

555-2473.

Go to the payphone outside And call me right back.

Anyone asks, I had to go out For a couple of minutes.

Sure.

- ah. - frank.

- you know what day this is? - let's see.

The last time I looked at my sundial

Near my olympic-sized Swimming pool

In the back of my estate, It was tuesday?

Wrong.

It's the sixth day in a row I've had to remind you

You're grossly overdue For weapons requalification.

I'm telling you, theo,

If you don't get your butt Over to that firing range,

The commissioner is going To personally fall by

And relieve you Of your hardware.

All right, tomorrow.

I'll do it Just before I come in to work.

I just got a barroom squeal,

A knifing over on the east side.

All right, take pomerantz.

Well, he's out. What about rizzo?

No, no, no, He's got to give a deposition.

All right, you go on ahead.

And when vince comes in, I'll have him play catch-up.

Hey, look, I don't blame you About last night.

It was my gaffe, not yours.

It's a wonder the shooflies

Ain't crawling all over me Today.

I sent you a message. You want it in writing?

One last favor, vincent.

I'll never trouble you again.

- no. - top dollar.

You could make the down payment On the house in nyack

Your wife has been pining for.

How could you know about that?

There are things I know About you, vincent,

That you don't know yourself.

So what do you say?

A little inside information Is all I need.

My associates and I Have reasons to believe

That the d.A.'s office Has a surprise witness

Squirreled away

And they intend to spring him On us at the grand jury hearing.

Obviously, such an eventuality,

I'd just as soon avoid, You know?

So just give us a name And an address, vincent.

We can take it The rest of the way.

It's out of the question. Ain't you heard a word I said?

Of course, but you haven't Heard my offer.

I don't care if you throw in Boardwalk and park place!

My answer is no!

Vince, come on. I got a homicide.

I'm detective crocker.

Could you tell me your name?

Mrs. Nugent.

Mrs. Nugent, please tell me What happened?

We was having an aperitif, Charlie and me.

He's nice and sociable.

Charlie was always The perfect gentleman.

Charlie.

You were saying About having an aperitif?

There's people Should never touch liquor!

Tommy o'halloran, for one.

Is that the man Who stabbed mr. Mcguire?

With no provocation.

Excuse me, mrs. Nugent.

Do you know where we might Locate o'halloran?

Down the street.

200, fifth floor.

Right. Thank you, mrs. Nugent.

Hey, you the police?

- yeah. - well, show me.

You looking for tommy o?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, he ain't upstairs.

All right, I'll bite. Where is he?

Saw him taking some laundry Down to the basement.

Thank you, ma'am.

O'halloran!

Mr. O'halloran, you down there?

Go away!

Hey, we just want To talk to you.

I ain't talking to nobody!

Hey, come on. Be a nice guy.

Come on upstairs.

Nobody's gonna bother you. We just want to talk.

Go away, I said!

I fought in the king's service.

You don't frighten me!

O'halloran!

O'halloran!

Drop your gun!

I'll kill him!

Take it easy.

- back off! - all right.

The lad and me Are making tracks.

Yeah? Where you gonna go?

We got blue uniforms All over the street up there.

Don't be a jerk.

You won't get as far As the corner.

I don't, he don't!

Take it easy!

Vince.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay,

I'm gonna call an ambulance.

Bobby.

I think I'm ten years nearer To pension.

You're okay.

It's my one vice.

They give me gas.

So what the hell? So does my wife's cooking.

On second thought, Maybe it's not the cooking.

Maybe it's my wife.

Listen, if I want A henny youngman impression,

I'll get you a violin.

In the meantime, What's the story

On our friend mr. Briscoe?

He's sweating bullets.

When you laid that paper on him,

He went 80% bananas.

The tom-toms got it

The d.A.'s stirring himself A witness.

Is that the emmis?

Mr. Briscoe made any moves?

He ain't even blowing His nose.

But then again, Maybe he don't have to.

Maybe he's got somebody Can do it for him.

Yeah, but that's only The wrapping paper.

How about the fish?

I don't know his moniker, But the word on the street

Is that briscoe's bought himself A flatfoot.

Yeah.

You're up. Good.

I suspected you would be.

It's been my observation

That insomnia is one of The classic byproducts--

What are you talking about? Byproducts of what?

When a man is reminded Traumatically

Of his own mortality.

I'm given to understand

That your wife very nearly Became a widow today.

I presume it has occurred to you

That in view of the risks You take,

You're grossly underpaid.

It goes with the territory.

And I'm sure that observation

Would have comforted Mrs. Pomerantz greatly

As they lowered you Into your grave.

Whether it would Or it wouldn't,

It's got nothing to do with you.

You survived this time. Mazel tov.

But what if you hadn't?

Vincent, think about it.

A policeman's death benefit,

That's all You mean to leave her?

Doesn't she deserve more? Don't you?

I have a very attractive Proposition to make to you,

My friend.

If it's about that information You wanted, I already told you.

Oh, I already secured that, Thank you.

I guess I'm not in such Exclusive company after all.

Oh, you could be.

$50,000 in your pocket.

You got long arms, briscoe.

Who do I have to kill?

You're joking. I'm not.

You mean You want me to dust someone?

Weekends in bermuda.

Mink, you'll wrap your garbage In it.

The little lady wants nyack, Vincent.

Why not give it to her?

In nine years on the force,

I never shot anyone, Let alone killed.

So much for clean living.

It will be easy, Easier than you think.

We'll supply the weapon, The blueprint,

Transportation to a target zone.

All you've got to do Is squeeze the trigger.

You can do that, can't you, Squeeze the trigger?

I'll have to think about it.

We got to move This weekend.

If it's not you, I'll rent another cannon.

In an hour.

What difference Can an hour make?

Don't shine me off, vincent.

There's nothing deader Than a dead cop.

- honey? - mm?

- honey. - hmm?

We got to talk.

No, later. Come to bed.

This won't keep.

It's about that house in nyack.

Suppose I found a way To raise the money.

Oh, darling, can you?

Oh, I'll be so good.

I'll watch every penny.

Say yes, please.

That's not why I'm asking.

Suppose, now, Just suppose that--

You'll love the neighborhood.

Trees and lawns And a school you can walk to.

It's perfect For raising a family.

You're not listening.

you'renot listening.

Now, about that family.

We could start right now.

You too?

I thought this kind of misery Was reserved exclusively

For squad commanders.

You know It's a masochistic absurdity

For anyone to be up At such an ungodly hour?

General hague, he's in charge of Our entire nato forces, right?

But does anybody ask him To requalify on a combine?

Nobody orders heifetz To requalify on the violin.

Yeah, That's my point exactly.

What, are you leaving?

Yeah, they're holding a place For me at bickford's.

I'll see you at the store.

There's such a thing As being overtrained.

Well, not if You're a bachelor.

All right. Bring on the clowns.

There you are.

That kind of marksmanship

Will get you assigned To the firearms unit.

He must be bucking For something.

Three days running At the crack of dawn.

The crack of dawn.

Hello?

I'm sorry to dump it on you Like this, vinnie,

But saperstein's kid Fell off his skateboard,

Dora's in st. Luke's For a lube job,

The mother-in-law's down With the shingles.

Oh, yes, their schnauzer Just flunked his rabies test.

Anyway, the long and the short Of it is,

I need you to fill in.

I put in for an 828 For 72 hours.

Lieutenant kojak approved it.

Tish and me made plans, captain. Have a heart.

I mean, can't you get Somebody else?

It's too important.

I need two good men To buzz over to riverdale

And collect a witness For the grand jury.

Crocker'll partner you.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Whose car? Mine or bobby's?

Neither. You'll be driving A bulletproof hearse.

Hello.

Pomerantz.

Bad news. We have to scratch the mission.

What do you mean, scratch?

I just got off the phone With captain mcneil.

He wants me And another detective

To make the pick-up And the delivery.

That's all she wrote.

If that witness does His number for the grand jury,

I'll--I'll be Stamping license plates

Into the next century.

There's nothing I can do.

There's always something.

You just haven't thought of it Yet.

You haven't thought of it.

What are you using For transport?

An armored-plate hearse.

Kojak's taking no chances.

Now, listen carefully.

This is what we'll do.

On your way back, make sure That you're doing the driving.

Your partner rides shotgun.

Now, are you listening?

Just before you hit the city, The hearse breaks down.

You volunteer to ask for help,

Leaving your buddy alone With the witness.

Now, what happens next Is something

You needn't worry about, Since you're safely alibied.

Are you crazy?

You know What you're asking me to do?

Now, listen to me.

I am not asking.

I am giving you an order.

If I go down, You go with me all the way.

Have you any idea what life In jail is like for an ex-cop?

Now, do it.

That way, we'll both live To enjoy our grandchildren.

- stavros. - yeah.

Come here.

Put your fat finger on that, Will you, please?

I don't want the genie To escape.

Gee, that's pretty snazzy Goods, lieutenant.

Who's the lucky lady?

No.

For ladies, you don't buy Tea sets, stavros.

For ladies, you buy perfume.

For ladies, you buy furs.

You buy nightgowns, negligees, Peek-through, see-through,

And like that.

No, this is for vince And letitia.

It's a belated anniversary gift.

Would you believe I bought This thing a week ago?

Gee, lieutenant, I think Your calendar's a little off.

Their wedding anniversary's Not until four months yet.

- are you sure? - well, I ought to be.

My kid sister catherine Was one of tish's bridesmaids.

Get mrs. Pomerantz On the phone, would you?

Whatever gave you the idea

That it was vinnie's wedding Anniversary anyway, lieutenant?

That was the night I served Briscoe with the subpoena.

Briscoe?

Oh, no.

Vinnie was only putting you on.

He was pretty dingy That night anyway.

You should have seen the look On his face

When he spotted me And saperstein.

For a second there, he actually Thought we were planting on him.

Are you ready for that?

Hey, lieutenant, I couldn't get through,

So I checked with a supervisor.

Phone's off the hook.

Call riverdale.

You tell them to sit on That witness, you understand?

You tell them to sit On that witness,

Not to make any moves

Until I get there, You understand?

Yeah.

All right, Get on the phone and call rizzo.

See if he got to riverdale In time.

Okay, lieutenant.

"My dearest darling, Do me a favor.

Never forget that I love you More than life itself."

Something's happened, Hasn't it?

Something happened to vince.

Suppose you tell me.

I have been sitting here Half out of my mind,

Not knowing what to think,

Not knowing what to do.

"Whatever happens, never forget That I love you."

Theo, what does he mean, "Whatever happens?"

You don't know?

Tish, you know that perfume you Were wearing the other night?

Mm-hmm.

That's got to go For $60 an ounce.

- that robe you got on? - uh-huh.

It took a lot of silkworms To work all night, night, night

To put that on your back.

And the stereo set And new drapes

And a 25-inch television set And on and on.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd swear that vince lost A very rich uncle.

Or maybe they're Anniversary presents.

Tish, why would vince go To the firing range

Three days running?

Tell me I'm wrong.

Tell me for what I'm thinking, They ought to pull my badge.

He said He helped a friend out.

I didn't pry.

I could see He didn't want me to.

Suddenly, our luck had changed.

We were drinking champagne For the first time,

Talking about buying a house,

Having kids.

It was the yellow brick road,

And I never wanted it to end.

Only it has ended, hasn't it?

You know, tish, A couple of days ago,

A stool came up to me

And said that briscoe had a cop In his pocket.

If anybody would have said Vince,

I would have punched him out.

I'm sorry, boss. It's too late.

The boat's already sailed.

Then we better go.

Ah, what a job, huh?

Look at the fringe benefits.

Air you can actually breathe.

It reminds me of new england.

Speaking of which, Wouldn't I love to be holed up

In a cabin in vermont, My honey on one side,

A jug of antifreeze On the other,

And nothing to do Until the spring thaw.

Uh, I said vermont, Not riverdale.

What is it?

Why have we stopped?

Uh, relax, mr. Danziger.

Everything'll be worked out.

There's bound to be a house Not too far ahead.

I'll call for a tow.

Okay.

Vince!

You okay?

I should have worn skis.

I think I sprained it.

You're gonna have to hoof it To the phone.

Ah, that's what I get For dreaming.

You gonna be all right?

Bobby?

Thanks for the other day.

You'd have done The same thing, right?

Come on. Get in.

What gives? You ain't supposed to be here.

Where's your sidekick?

There's been a change In plans.

He's gone. Danziger is gone.

That's what I'm trying To tell you.

Kojak shuffled the deck on us.

This hearse is just a decoy.

Danziger is being taken to Manhattan in another vehicle.

You're hustling us, cop.

Now, why would you do A thing like that?

You left the safehouse With the crooner on board.

He ain't here now, because You got him stashed somewheres.

Now, that's a fact.

You know what else is a fact?

How dead you're gonna be,

You don't get some hinges For that mouth.

Go back!

Crocker, go back!

Don't shoot! Don't!

Wait! I give up!

All right, cuff him.

Look at you.

Didn't even singe Your pinfeathers.

Come on, will you?

I lead a charmed life.

That's because You're a charmer.

Lieutenant, I can't find Danziger anywhere.

Don't panic, curly.

Before the balloon went up,

I parked him in the woods, Cuffed to an elm.

If bears ain't at him, He should be as good as new.

I think I'm into frostbite.

I've got no feeling in my legs.

I'm dying.

You want a deathbed statement?

A deathbed statement Duly witnessed.

You're all heart, lieutenant.

Why, vince?

In god's name, why?

You wouldn't understand.

Why don't you try me?

I wanted to buy her a coat.

Oh, jesus. Sweet jesus.

Not like this.

Please, not like this.

Kojak, do me something.

You got to do me something.

Tell tish...

Tell her what?

What are you gonna tell her?

I don't know.

But I'll think of something.