Original subtitles

We finally arrived, but today was a mess.

But, Tadim.

They whisper!

Let me talk.

Hi how are you?

How are you? What a nice day, isn't it?

I'm Mr. Wolf, and these are from...

my partners.

You're probably wondering about me.

I know we were ten minutes late for our parole appointment.

Two minutes.

That?

Was it two minutes?

Mister...

Hey, wait, wait a second.

Before you make any decisions, let me explain.

The truth is, what happened was very funny.

Funny?

But also super legal.

It was early, so we had a quick breakfast.

Today is an important day.

In two hours, our probation will expire.

Yeah!

Less proud, friends.

Six months, not a single other piezo.

Not even a car ticket.

Poor guy the train!

The guys at the pallet are so good now that they

will accommodate your car without asking you.

We tip generously for the excellent service.

What's wrong with this shorty?

Yeah, silly.

You're offline for a reason.

I found myself!

My car!

What if that's the right bus?

What? Is there more than one bus?

Guys, I can't take it anymore.

Oh!

Peace be with you!

It doesn't suit you!

I'll generate it for you!

I'll generate it for you!

What are you doing!

I was just there quietly and out of nowhere a

guy got all crazy for no particular reason.

Train yourself with pismojadas!

Luckily I am an expert in problem solving.

conflicts and with great agility I managed to be a situation.

How did you tell me?

Thanks to him we were rewarded with a relaxing mud bath.

Piranha, why are you so smiling?

Because I don't feel like going to the bathroom anymore.

¡No!

¡No!

How crazy!

As good doers, we are looking for an ecological alternative.

He will say "wind".

That's enough, I'm doing it now!

What did I say!

Luckily a kind stranger saw us

He was kind enough to stop and offered to give us a ride.

Catch him on the telegram!

Durga this chick!

A date has arrived!

The truth is that it is kind of confusing after

that, but we did go by the panoramic route.

Oh, we went through...

This was before...

Or after...

So, and then...

You too!

Don't turn on the light, my friend!

Oh, remember!

I didn't see that coming.

And then...

Have you seen it now?

We arrived 10 minutes early.

Yes we did it.

Let no one move you!

We came to steal!

Oh, please!

Well, we could explore them.

And finally we send some young people on the path of good.

Keep calm and no one will get hurt!

Put the money in your backpack!

Hey, excuse me!

Sorry to interrupt, we just wanted to say that we love distractions.

The bad guys!

No, you idiots!

We are big fans!

Obviously they thought of everything.

Free escape route, hack the cameras...

It is also behind the False Plaza.

What about the silent alarm?

Yes, they did turn off the silent alarm, right?

But I bet!

But hypothetically if we hadn't done it...

Shall I tell you something?

I wouldn't worry.

The police will take a few...

12 seconds...

the least.

I think this belongs to you.

And that's it, that was all that happened to us more or less.

What a fascinating story!

What we want is for you to see that we are serious about changing our lives.

Well, now you've convinced me!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

However, they should tell their probation officer.

How do you say he said?

This is Corneos' office.

It happens all the time.

This street is the main south,

the office you are looking for is on the north main street.

Luck.

Good to know.

(upbeat music)

(crowd chattering)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(crowd cheering)

Come in officer night and correct the dog.

Do you copy?

Oh hey chief.

What?

No, no, no, no, no, oh hey.

Radio talk is Roger.

Roger, I thought this was the chief.

This is the chief.

Did you find Petey the cat?

Not right now.

Chief, we're trying to find Petey the cat.

(screaming)

You're freaking dead.

(dog barking)

Oh, Greg, come on little buddy.

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

Thanks Greg little buddy.

Where are you Petey the world's most evilest cat?

(dog barking)

Shucka, it's him.

Break the dog, hit the siren.

(dog barking)

(gun firing)

Greg, something happens to me.

Take care of my girlfriend Alice, will ya?

(dog barking)

You know I got you buddy, bam.

(dog barking)

(intense music)

Yes.

(intense music)

(siren wailing)

(grunting)

Officer Knight, it's the chief.

Can you hear me?

Answer me.

(gun firing) Typical, typical.

Officer Knight here, we're on the roof

of the abandoned expendable warehouse.

Over and out.

So long suckas, won't have to worry about you anymore.

What's he talking about?

It's a bomb.

See, Officer Knight is a tough cop with kung fu skills,

but he's got no brains.

And Greg the dog is smart, but his body is his weakness.

These guys are nothing.

Yeah, but what if they combine their skills?

Well, I'll just make sure that never happens.

These two are not gonna ruin my evil plans

to take over the world.

What?

Can I have tomorrow off?

It's my mother's birthday.

You're fired.

There's a bomb up here.

Clear everyone out of the warehouse.

It's abandoned.

Then they have to leave.

There's no one here.

I don't care.

Get them out.

Where's the, uh.

Let's see, green means go.

Red means not ripe.

Unless it's an apple, red apple's ripe.

I guess red's usually ripe.

Unless it's a lemon.

Are there any red lemons?

(growling)

Green?

Oh, green, got it.

Wait, aren't dogs color blind?

(explosion)

(crowd cheering)

This is Sarah Haddow standing outside...

...the major hospital in town in the rain

without an umbrella.

That's how serious this is.

What will be the fate of Officer Knight and Greg the Dog?

(explosion)

I'm sorry to say, Mr. Cop,

that your head is just no good anymore.

Bummer.

And your body is no good either, Cop Doggy.

Oh.

(beeping)

Oh, I got an idea.

Oh, tell me nurse, what's your idea?

What if we sew the dog's head onto the man's body?

Great idea and stuff.

This is Sarah Haddow reporting live

from the major hospital in town.

This just in, it stopped raining.

And doctors and nurses have successfully saved Officer Knight

and Greg the Dog by creating.

(upbeat music)

(explosion)

Dogman!

(cheering)

(upbeat music)

This is Sarah Haddow again,

reporting on the incredible saga of Dogman

who has shown himself to be nothing less than a super cop.

With me now, the chief of police.

Chief, how has it been having a super cop

like Dogman on the force?

I mean, isn't he great?

He's done so much for the citizens of this town,

don't you think?

He's made friends, he's solved crimes,

...but did a mailman, plays piano for the old folks,

and even pitched a no-hitter at the charity softball game

for kids who got kicked out of class

and drew comics instead.

And he did all that in one day.

He's just Dogman Supercop.

Dogman Supercop?

Why is Dogman on the front page, Sarah?

Why do you never report any of the good stuff

that I'm doing, huh Sarah?

If I'm gonna get on a real network, Chief,

I gotta report the big stories,

and it's kind of a big story.

Well, guess what?

I'm a big story, Sarah.

What about that time I did the thing

that was big and everybody was talking about it?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'd have to look that up.

Yeah, you gotta look it up.

Flip it.

What about Flip it?

Oh, what about that time I caught Flip it?

That story's literally a dead fish.

A psychokinetic evil fish.

That's dead.

Sarah, please, look, just give me one little story

for my mother.

Okay, she's dead too.

She has very good hearing.

(groans)

You drive me crazy, Sarah Haddow.

And it's not because I might be secret in love with you.

What?

What?

I said get out!

Oh, come on, Zuzu.

(dog barks)

And no more of this.

Millie!

Where is Dogman anyway?

I don't know.

Well, find him.

(birds chirping)

(door creaks)

(dog barks)

(door creaks)

(crowd laughs)

Get back here, you!

(screams)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Good boy!

That's a good boy.

(gun fires)

(dog barks)

(laughs)

Oh my gosh, you startled me!

Oh, I'm sorry, but the open house isn't until this afternoon.

I gotta get this place a little cleaned up.

The owner left so fast with her new boyfriend.

Oh, and her new dog.

(dog barks)

So cute.

I love, love stories.

Her old boyfriend had a little accident.

Kaboom!

She's all like, "I'm not waiting around

for some half man, half dog."

(laughs)

What'd you know?

I get.

I mean, can you imagine?

(laughs)

I, well, you know.

Hey, are you looking for a house?

Here's a bunch of my listings.

Okay, now get along, little doggy man.

Dog man, whatever you are.

(gasps)

(dog barks)

Oh, oh, you want the both?

Oh, okay, I can do this.

Go again!

(dog barks)

(birds chirping)

(dog barks)

(car engine rumbles)

Hmm, tough day.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Yeah, Dog Man, I know how you feel.

Like a lawn chair in a hurricane.

Like a balloon in a porcupine farm.

Like a winning lottery ticket that you forgot to sign

and lost somewhere at the market and then,

Anthony was all, "Where's that lottery ticket, Milly?"

And you're all, "I'm the one who bought it!

Why are you yelling at me?

I'm not yelling."

And I'm all, "Okay, Captain Fogghorn."

(yells)

Jeez!

Kinda like that, right?

It's tough.

I tried to get rid of those two ding-dongs

and instead, I made a super-

(dog barks)

(crash)

I gotta do something to get rid of Dog Man.

You're going down, Dog Man.

Slow down.

Uh-oh, Dog Man, Dog Man, Dog.

(gasps)

I got it!

What do dogs hate?

Yeah, we're not doing this.

You fired me.

Oh yeah.

Wait, doesn't mean you can't answer.

Yeah, it does.

(car engine rumbles)

Vacuum cleaners!

Dogs hate vacuum cleaners!

I'll build a huge, high-tech,

massively expensive vacuum cleaner!

Yeah, okay, dogs also hate firecrackers

and they're like five bucks.

Well, who asked you?

Literally, you did, like 30 seconds ago.

BTW owe me a paycheck!

Evil villains don't write paychecks!

The gold coins you gave me were chocolate!

You got what you deserve!

(screams)

Hmm.

Oh, please.

Nobody likes that Dog Man anyway.

Dog Man's here!

(groans)

Dog Man, get in here, now!

(laughs)

I don't like this!

(laughs)

Stop looking at me!

Hey, excuse me!

Stop, listen up!

You may get a lot of attention around here

because you're smart and you do kung fu

and you have visible stitches on your neck,

but you work for me and you do what I say.

You understand?

The last thing I need is you messing up, you got it?

I get enough grief from the mayor.

Petey the world's most evilest cat

escapes from jail all the time.

The mayor yelling at me and making me look bad again

and I just, I just, I'm trying!

Dog Man, I'm trying, you know?

Huh.

(sighs)

Huh.

(sniffles)

(laughs)

Huh?

(crashes)

(screams)

Will you get out of here?

I'm gonna arrest Petey and I don't care

if I take the montage.

This is Sarah Haroff bringing you the Dog Man

Arrests Petey montage, here with my cameraman, Seamus.

Yes, that's right, Sarah.

But Petey isn't just gonna wait around to get arrested,

he's going to fight back.

(yells)

Huh.

Petey's first attack, a giant vacuum cleaner.

(dramatic music)

(engine revs)

(yells)

(screams)

Oh my, you don't want a vacuum in the ocean.

Brock!

Cereal asleep?

Hey, no fair, I can't swim!

I'd say this approach sucks,

but that would be some inappropriate language.

(yells)

(explosion)

(yells)

Hey, you saved me, I just got a save.

There go the handcuffs.

And there goes Petey.

Straight to cat jail.

Hey, Petey.

Shut it, big Jim.

Hey, big Jim.

Sorry I was mean.

Kinda.

Hey, let's play.

Okay.

(laughs)

So long suckers!

(laughs)

Petey escaped again.

Again?

Then Petey tried the make no bones 2000.

(laughs)

Brock!

There go the handcuffs.

And there goes Petey.

Straight to cat.

Hey, Petey, shut it!

Big Jim.

Check it out, the warden gave me balloons for my birthday.

There you go, Mr. Whiskers.

Respect.

Here, Petey.

(laughs) Hey!

So long, suckers!

Petey escaped again.

Again?

Now we hit the part where it all speeds up.

Right, you're off Sarah!

The love and allation 2000.

(explosion) There go the--

Straight to--

Escape!

Again!

Then Petey tried the crate expectations 2000.

There goes the--

Straight to--

Escape!

Escape!

The butt sniffer 2000.

Ah, don't show that one.

(explosion) Well, good job, Dog Man.

Ha ha, funny.

(grunts)

Pet it out.

Stop it.

I said stop it.

(grunts)

Oh, all right, I get it, you wanna play.

Go get it!

I got you, you just hit your face.

Oh, Dog Man.

All right, that's it.

(grunts)

Oh, oh, Mayor.

Petey escaped again.

Again?

Again!

Yeah, that's why I said again, again, yet again.

I have had it.

Dog Man has got to go.

What?

Listen, Mayor, don't you think the problem

might be at cat jail?

Excuse me?

Are you saying my brother is bad at running cat jail?

Your brother?

I want Dog Man off the Petey case

and I want Petey captured, guppies.

That's English for ASAP.

Wait, wait, wait, Mayor.

Dog Man is the champ of Catch and Petey.

That's not fair.

Oh, that's not fair?

That's not fair.

Here, call this number.

Life's not fair.

What?

Life's not fair.

What?

Dog Man is off the case.

Oh.

(gasps)

(gagging)

Just given something dumb to do.

Oh, I know, like your job.

Dog Man?

Oh no.

Sorry, Dog Man.

You're off the case.

You're my best cop.

We'll figure it out.

(somber music)

Oh.

(somber music)

(somber music)

(grunts)

(gasps)

(somber music)

Here at Lonesboro

She went up a well

He swam to the moon

To fly

The midnight train

Is flying in the cold

I'm standing by

I'm going to fly

The silence of a falling star

Lights up a purple sky

And as I wonder where you are

I'm so lonesome I could cry

Ooh

(laughs)

(crashing)

(laughs)

They'll never find me here.

(sighs)

This place is a mess.

Hello.

Ah!

Oh good, you're back.

Clean this place up.

Nah.

Luckily you fired me.

Just forgot my phone charger.

Fine, fine.

I could get anybody to work for me.

Ha!

The only person who could stand working for you is you.

BG Dubs, you still owe me a paycheck?

Oh, I sent you your money.

Puka shells are not money.

Whatever!

The only person who could stand working for you is you.

Wait.

Wait.

That's it!

I need someone who thinks like me, who acts like me,

who has a wretched soul like me.

I need another me!

Air fryer, no.

Air fryer, no.

Air fryer, no.

Air fryer, air fryer, air fryer, no.

Air fryer.

(gasps)

Coaning machine!

(laughs)

Yes!

I can borrow some flowers

For all my names

Dog Man, this is the chief.

(dog barks)

Dog Man!

Look, I know you want to be going after Petey,

but I got another job for you.

So get down here ASAP!

(gun fires) (dog barks)

Wait!

(dog barks)

All right, take that down to my mouth.

(grunts)

Why do you always got to lick the,

it's down in my mouth!

Listen up.

Do you remember Flippy the fish you gave me for my birthday

that ate way to me brain dust and got super smart

with psycho-canada power and robbed all those pestoers

for their plastic fish tank treasure chest

because he thought it was real money

and ended up freezing to double the fish bowl

high up in the mountain before you got to roll around

with him and crush him because you like to roll around

with dead fish?

All right, good,

because I don't think I can say that again.

Here he is, Flippy.

(evil laugh)

He's dead, okay?

I thought you got that from my presentation.

(sighs)

Anyways, the geniuses at the Super Awesome Science Center

over there want to study his dead brain

because of all the mental powers and stuff.

So I want you to guard that fish.

Don't man, don't man, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

(sad music)

How we gonna fix this?

We have rebuilt Flippy with titanium bones

and made him into a psycho-kinetic supermecha

but still dead Flippy that we can study

for his incredible brain powers.

Here's a video all about it that my daughter made

for her fifth grade filmmaking class.

(upbeat music)

(laughs)

Cute.

All right, Dog Man.

Let's see what's next for you.

(laughs) The Make No Bones 2000 negative.

The Love of the Delishah 2000, strike it through.

The Create Expectations 2000, X-Men.

The Butt Sniffer 2000.

(buzzer)

All right, what do we got?

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

I need a new idea.

2000.

And that concludes my presentation.

Let's see, any questions?

(sighs)

Let's see.

Yes, Sarah.

Sarah Hadoff here from Live Breaking News Live.

Just one question, Doctor.

Isn't rebuilding a psycho-kinetic evil fish dangerous?

Well, I suppose Flippy could be extra dangerous

now that he is super amecca.

And psycho-kinetic?

And psycho-kinetic.

What?

But he couldn't come to life unless someone stole him

and flew over the living spray factory

and dropped him in the smokestack

where he might puncture a living spray gas tank

and be rendered alive.

What?

But who would do that?

Me!

Curly an idea, my next plan to take down Dog Man.

You're a thin ice dog, man, so don't mess this up.

Now sit.

Stay.

You only have one job to do.

Keep your eyes on those monitors.

So if somebody breaks out your favorite chew toy

and waves it around,

you, you look at the monitor.

And if somebody has a juicy and delicious treat,

you're not gonna look at it.

You, you look at the monitor.

And if somebody just happens to have

an eastern gray squirrel, you,

(dog barking)

Stop, don't let this sit here!

And don't mess this up or you'll lose your job.

Huh?

(dog howling)

(beeping)

(buzzing)

True.

(suspenseful music)

Dog Man, we heard the alarm.

(dog barking)

Petey.

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

Brilliant.

Uh, Seamus, are you sure about that?

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Honisera.

How hard can it be?

Okay, that's left.

Ah, here we go.

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(laughing)

(dog barking)

Don't mess this up or you'll lose your job.

Dog Man, I just heard Flippy was stolen.

Great, you managed to disappoint me, the mayor,

and the scientist over at the Super Also Science Center

over there.

Did you see the perpetrator who stole that fish?

(laughing)

Once I've reprogrammed this fish,

(grunting)

he'll take care of Dog Man for me.

We just crank up the evil power.

(suspenseful music)

Evil is maxed out.

(laughing)

You're a bad fish, my friend.

Let's get more specific with all that evil.

Destroy Dog Man.

No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Destroy all doogers.

Yes, destroy all doogers.

(laughing)

(camera clicking)

Huh?

My cloning machine!

Oh, Jimus, you're holding a set up.

How hard can it be?

(laughing)

Pretty funny, Dog Man, but we don't have time.

(dog barking)

It's Petey, it's Petey.

It's Petey, you foul Petey, good dog.

Not now, Millie!

Gene, who's around to help out?

Everybody's busy, Chief.

It's quiet, like a frozen lake in winter.

Like dinnertime on the moon.

Like when Anthony fell asleep on his fishing boat

and yells to the dog, "Why did you untie my boat?"

And I'm like, "Me?

"It's not my fault you can't tie a knot, Captain Stubing."

And I'm all like--

Okay, okay.

(grunting)

(suspenseful music)

Help has arrived.

Step one, insert DNA into the DNA shoot.

Step two, press start button.

(laughing)

Step three, open door to retrieve your clone.

(laughing) (suspenseful music)

What?

Step four, wait 18 years for your clone to reach adulthood?

What?

18 years?

No!

If you make a mistake, hit the undo button.

Sold separately, sold separately?

No!

Phew, Papa?

What?

Huh?

Ah!

Papa!

Who are you talking to?

Papa.

Papa?

No, I am not your Papa.

You are my clone.

(crying)

I want my whisker back.

(whisker whirring)

I want my bunny back.

(whisker whirring)

I want my life back!

Look, doll man, the man will have a cow

if she knows about this, but.

Check this out.

If Petey's got the fish, and you going for the fish,

and you just might accidentally on purpose,

but it didn't mean to, but it just went down that way,

catch Petey?

You find the fish, you find the cat.

(growling) I mean, what's the man gonna say?

That's not fair?

Life's not fair.

(laughing)

Right?

Hey, no man, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Look, doll man, look.

Are you ready?

Good.

Let's do this.

Okay, listen up.

You're my clone, which means evil runs through your veins.

Okay.

You're destined to be a villain.

Ooh, is that fun?

So much fun.

Yay!

Of course, fun, surrounded by, you know,

miserable suffering, loneliness, and like, zero appreciation.

I mean, zero.

(laughing)

Do you even know what I'm saying?

No, but it sounds fun.

I wanna be miserable too.

Good, that's the spirit.

Now I gotta go do something.

You stay put.

Why?

Because you can't come.

Why?

Because you're in this business and you're not ready yet.

Why?

(groaning) I said you can't go.

Why?

Oh, fine, but no talking.

Do you have a car seat?

A what?

A kid's car seat.

You're a clone cat sitting on a flying mechanical bug.

They don't make a car seat for that.

Okay, Papa.

Stop calling me Papa.

Okay.

Papa.

I made you a book.

Cut.

Will you just hold on a bit quiet?

I need to go potty.

Why?

Because I need to.

No, that why.

I know why.

Jeez, just hold it.

(dramatic music)

There it is, the living spray factory.

Just a little closer.

(toy squeaking)

(laughing)

Ooh, what do these buttons do?

Pretty.

Don't touch any.

(toy squeaking)

(screaming)

(screaming)

You almost got me killed.

(screaming)

Oh no!

Ah, it stopped.

Oh great, look what you did.

It went down the wrong pipe and it stuck.

What is with you?

I'm miserable.

Look, I don't need a kid.

I didn't ask for a kid.

I don't want a kid.

I got my own stuff to do and it's important.

And when I say don't touch that button.

(screaming)

Shh.

Shh.

Never pet.

Shh.

If you gonna catch that cat.

(laughing)

You gonna need my special gear.

All right, come on, get in.

Come here.

(growling)

(upbeat music)

Oh yeah.

Okay, you put the little part this in, right up to your eyes

and then the stuff that's far away will look really big.

Yeah, you get it.

All right kid, get in.

Whoa.

Just get in.

We're gonna play a little game.

Ooh, I hope it's miserable.

It's called the new home game.

This is just for pretend, right?

Of course.

Ooh, a free kitty.

How much does it cost?

Free.

But I only have a dollar.

A dollar.

Can I get change?

Thank you.

What's your name?

He doesn't have one.

Yes I do, I'm little PB.

I think I'll call you Snowball.

I think I'll call you Poopled.

What?

How rude.

Here's your money back.

I gotta go potty.

Again?

I didn't go last time.

Wait, maybe I did.

No, I still got one.

What's wrong with people?

How much is a free kitty?

I don't know, maybe it's free?

I mean, it says it right on the box.

Hey, little cat?

Uh, little dude?

(suspenseful music)

(laughing)

Papa?

Papa?

Papa!

Papa?

(suspenseful music)

Papa?

Papa?

(water splashing)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

Don't worry, it'll be okay.

(dog barking)

Goodnight, little crate.

Don't be afraid.

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music)

Is that your house?

Wow, it looks bigger on the inside.

Is this where you sleep?

(suspenseful music)

Give me a story.

(dog growling)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

(laughing)

Solve that problem.

No more little kid.

So now we can get back to destroying Dog Man.

Huh?

Papa and me by little Petey.

All right.

To Papa.

Papa and me are in the air.

It rained and Papa and me went into the lab.

Look at Papa's new invention.

(suspenseful music)

Papa and me think the same thing.

Ugh.

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(gagging)

(suspenseful music)

(giggling)

(suspenseful music)

(giggling)

(suspenseful music)

Oh, Dog Man's got a friend.

(suspenseful music)

(giggling)

(giggling)

(suspenseful music)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)

(phone ringing)

Dog Man, it's the chief.

Who still has an answer machine?

What is going on with Petey?

Get back at me.

It's important.

Don't forget what's important.

(suspenseful music)

(phone ringing)

Janet, Janet, what's that noise?

Grassher's building in the tanks.

Something's coming, you're not a smokestack.

What?

(gasping)

(screaming)

Gotcha.

Ugh, serialously?

What?

Huh? Huh?

(suspenseful music)

That was it.

(suspenseful music) (phone ringing)

(gasping)

(suspenseful music)

Ha ha ha ha, at last.

Hmm.

(grunting)

Oh, right.

(bell ringing)

(suspenseful music)

Yes, my 80 hexadron droid former god is complete.

Ha ha ha.

Hello.

Ah!

Ugh, you're back.

Finally came to your senses.

No, I came to annoy you.

Behold.

What?

I don't, so what?

Dogman?

What?

Dogman?

(grunting)

Ha ha ha ha.

Ah.

Oh yeah, you still owe me.

I paid you.

Bottle caps are not money.

(door slamming)

Ugh, my clone with Dogman?

(grunting)

Oh, change of plans.

I need you to scan this and find the kid who made it.

(suspenseful music)

(door creaking)

Well, unbelievable.

Ugh!

Well, don't just stand there.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, get him.

(suspenseful music)

(beeping)

(suspenseful music)

Oh, hi, Papa.

(grunting) What you doing?

Getting you out of here is what?

How'd you find me?

That's ADHD.

You can find anybody.

Come on. Hey, Papa, look at those cute flowers.

Those are weeds.

Oh.

Hey, Papa, look at the pretty river.

It's polluted.

Oh.

Hey, Papa, look at all the twinkly stars.

Hey, you're standing in mud.

(giggling) Jesus, that Dogman's got you thinking the whole world

is just rainbows and unicorns and lollipops.

Ooh, lollipops.

Hey, what about Dogman?

Oh, don't you worry.

I got a special plan to take care of Dogman.

The squirrel shooter, 2000.

Fun.

Dogman likes to chase squirrels.

Yeah, I'm kind of counting on that.

(suspenseful music)

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

(splashing)

(suspenseful music)

Time for bed.

(whimpering)

(snoring)

(whimpering)

(whimpering)

(door opening)

(door closing)

This is my room.

(suspenseful music)

And this is yours.

(suspenseful music)

I'm sleeping with you.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

Ugh, you're not sleeping with me and that's fine.

(grunting)

(grunting)

Yes, I am.

(grunting)

Mm.

(sighing)

Look, I, I want to give you the support and guidance

you need to be mean and rotten-hearted like me.

When I was a kid, my pop didn't do anything for me.

He got a truck, he took all our stuff,

and then he left me and my mom all alone.

He did?

Yep, I never saw him again.

(humming)

How come I made you, but you're not like me?

Maybe I am, but you just don't like that part.

(grunting)

Oh, I know.

Let's go find your papa.

Maybe he's changed, maybe he's sorry.

Look, I know you think everybody is a good guy

deep down inside, but that's just not reality.

The world's a horrible place.

It's mostly misery and selfishness out there.

That's reality.

I'm sleeping with you.

No, you're not. No, you're not. I'm sleeping with you.

No, you're--

(snoring)

Hmm?

(grunting)

(suspenseful music)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(suspenseful music)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting) (suspenseful music) (grunting) (grunting) (grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(suspenseful music)

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

(suspenseful music)

(crashing)

(grunting)

(giggling)

(suspenseful music)

(squeaking)

(squeaking)

When you find my grandpa, bring him back here, okay?

(crashing)

(crashing)

(crashing)

(suspenseful music)

(birds chirping)

(suspenseful music)

(howling)

(suspenseful music)

(knocking)

(knocking)

(phone ringing)

Hey, Dogman.

(howling)

How's it going?

(barking)

I'll be right over.

(barking)

Dogman, what happened?

(suspenseful music)

(humming)

(humming)

Yes, Sarah Hadoff here,

reporting live from Dogman's house.

Have you seen this cat?

He disappeared overnight.

Dogman, wait, wait up!

(howling)

(howling)

Where, oh, where has this little cat gone?

Where would you find a little kitty?

(barking) Oh, of course.

(howling)

Yarn, yurt.

(barking)

(howling)

(barking)

(howling) (barking)

Nice and cheesy?

Good idea.

(barking)

Nothing?

(barking)

What about the indifference shock?

Go away or not, I don't care.

Chucky things you chuck.

Laser pointer palace.

Cozy cat carpet club.

Kimball McNibble.

Hot ten work.

(barking)

(suspenseful music)

(gasping)

(clearing throat)

We've checked all over town.

We've found nothing.

Well, except in the sandbox.

Ew.

So if you see this cat,

please return him to Dogman.

My clone?

Return him to Dogman?

Ha!

Well, you can't return him to Dogman

if there is no Dogman.

(laughing)

Doorbell.

Hmm?

(door creaking)

(door creaking)

(suspenseful music) Okay.

(grunting)

(grunting)

(suspenseful music) You make my way.

Put me down, you nincompoopzicle.

(grunting)

(gasping)

(grunting)

(sniffing)

I'm...

Petey?

I'm not Petey.

I'm Little Petey.

Your grandson.

You got a lot of nose hairs.

Wha?

Well, you got a hair like a water buffalo.

(laughing)

Dad?

Huh?

(suspenseful music)

Son?

Is...

Is all this yours?

Yeah?

Well, don't quit your day job.

Say, what do you got to do? Say, what do you got to eat around here?

Huh?

Where's the food in this dump?

(dishes clanking) He shouldn't put the dishes up so high.

Why did you bring him here?

Ugh.

I'm sorry, Papa.

I just wanted you to have your Papa back.

My Papa?

My Pa?

That guy abandoned me.

Do you have any idea what that feels like?

Yes.

(suspenseful music)

And I forgave you.

(suspenseful music)

Where do you keep the air fryer?

(dishes clanking) Oh, that one hit me.

You think someone stole this thing,

flew over the living spray factory,

and dropped him into not a smokestack,

hoping he would come to life?

Like that would ever happen.

Chalk it.

Hey, two points.

(dishes clanking)

Denied.

Oh, yeah.

(dishes clanking)

Dude.

(laughing)

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

Somebody spray.

Spray.

No, no.

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

(dishes clanking)

oh, the living spray brought me back to life.

We do, we're living it.

(laughing)

The entire factory's coming to life.

Come on.

Arise my beastly building, arise.

Yes, come on.

Umar Gama.

Come on, get up, get up.

Are you with me building?

Umar Gama.

What is that, is that a yes or?

Umar Gama.

Okay then, let us.

Destroy all computers.

(laughing)

I'm gonna get you once and for all, Dog Man.

You love squirrels so much, fetch this.

Hey, Papa.

Ah!

Where you going, Papa?

Oh, I am gonna go get some milk.

But we have lots of milk.

Yeah, except your milk decided to spill all over the floor.

Oh.

Let me guess, you're the smart one

and he's the mooch riding on your coattails.

Why don't you mind your own beeswax, Dad?

What are you gonna do, cry like in the old days?

Wah, wah, wah.

(snoring)

You shouldn't say that, Grandpa.

Why, what do you care?

He's my Papa, I love him.

Love, like I feel something.

Love isn't just something you feel, Grandpa.

Love is something you do.

All right, all right, all right.

I didn't ask for your life story jabber jaw.

Everybody around here is just a big, big, big, big, big.

Look, I gotta do something.

You stay here with ADHD.

Mm, but--

Do not leave, do not follow.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

Get milk.

Right, right, milk.

I'm a cat.

Milk.

(dramatic music)

Little Petey!

Little Petey.

Mm.

Mm.

Dog man, are you okay?

(sighing)

Come on, we've gotta keep going.

Look, I know you're sad.

You feel like you've lost a lot.

When I was a kid, I lost someone too.

My gerbil.

Colonel Kurtz.

It was really hard for me.

I missed his sharp, tiny teeth,

and his sad little Petey eyes.

But I learned something.

But I learned something really important.

Gerbles can be mean.

(laughing)

And you've got to keep going.

That's right, we're gonna keep going.

(horn honking)

Oh, dog man!

(laughing)

Oh, I mean keep going.

Oh wait, seriously, keep going.

Shavis!

Dog man!

(dog barking)

Ha ha, at last, the final showdown.

(growling)

Oh, do you like chasing squirrels?

Do ya, huh, squirrels?

(barking)

Okay, here it comes.

Stop that, no!

(exploding) For the love of beak!

Mechanical exploding squirrels?

How evil can one cat be?

Pretty evil.

(laughing)

Buckle up!

Oh, do gooders.

Where are you?

Do gooders.

(yelling)

(yelling)

They're up on that giant euro!

Yeah, it's a cheese steak!

This is Sarah Haddell, downtown where dog man--

Dog man?

Has successfully caught up with Pity the Cat.

After a wild chase ending in a giant euro--

It's a cheese steak!

Correction, cheese steak.

Huh?

Dog man may finally have a chance to make the arrest

and keep his job.

Oh, really?

Last chance, dog man.

What?

Stuck in cheese steak?

Rats.

Rats!

Rats!

Well, it looks like dog man has just cornered Pity,

the world's most evilest cat.

Dog man!

Little Pity.

(barking)

What are you doing with my papa?

How did you not put that one together, dog man?

Huh?

What you gonna do, arrest me in front of my clone?

Or, uh, my child?

Your little buddy?

It's an incredible twist here downtown.

Little Pity is actually Pity's son,

and a coincidence so obvious it's not really a coincidence.

What's dog man to do?

Arrest him!

Arrest him!

Let him go!

No, wait, arrest him!

I miss him.

Come on, let me go.

He ditched you for me.

No, I didn't.

Dog man, I am your friend.

Really?

You can't be friends with this.

This.

Do-gooder?

Do-gooder?

What?

Someone say, "Do-gooder?"

Flippy?

Flippy!

Ha!

My plan worked!

Do-gooder!

And you brought a friend!

Oh, you're in for it now, dog man.

Because I programmed that fish to destroy do-gooders.

Destroy all do-gooders.

Say bye-bye, dog man!

What?

Whoa, wait, wait, what are you doing?

No, Flippy!

Dog man?

Oh no, purple?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

No, not Lokee-Dee!

Papa!

Okay, no!

Dog man!

Lokee-Dee!

Oh no, dog man!

(dog barking)

(dog growling)

Dog man!

Come on!

Dog man, listen, we can go after Little Petey together.

I programmed Flippy to destroy all do-gooders,

and I'm no do-gooder.

You need me!

Look, you can arrest me later, I promise.

Hmm?

Partners?

Hmm?

(screaming)

Kill dog, evil cat

We can get the hell down

Up and run

In color.

Oh, what was that?

(growling)

(screaming)

Oh, great!

That was supposed to beat a giant building?

What's the toughest, scariest thing we could fight them off?

(dog barking)

A mailman?

Seriously?

Wait, I got it!

Come on!

Yeah, yeah, here's a montage

It's so fast, I can't even enjoy your water

This is the end

What's being down?

Put me down.

I can destroy you right now, but idea, brilliant.

You might be a rather effective piece of bait

for the other do-gooders.

Let's see if they can find you

before the ticking clock runs out, shall we?

What happens then?

Ah, uh, well, nothing, if I'm being totally honest.

I just thought we needed the ticking clock.

My bad.

Right, so now we simply wait for a--

Special delivery!

From the Mecha Mailman 2000!

What?

Hit it, Dog Man!

Now hand over that little cat.

Oh, okay, no.

Now, my beastly building, arise and attack!

You're my Dog-O!

Whoa!

Slippy is on a rampage,

and it looks like he's getting a lot of help.

Millie, we have an emergency!

I have some toilet paper in the closet, Chief!

Not that, but good to know.

Yes.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Not the suitcase!

Papa, help!

Little Petey, get away from him, you fish!

He's free!

Run, Little Petey, run, run!

(roaring)

(roaring)

Goobagaba!

Hey, I can see my house from here!

Goobagaba!

Large buildings are coming to life and destroying the city!

(roaring)

(screaming)

Everyone needs to clear out!

It is not safe here!

That means you, sir!

What?

And I'm not just saying that because I'm in love with you!

You just said that on live TV!

No.

All right, fine!

I'm in love with you, Sarah Haddow!

I said it!

Now get out of here!

If you think I'm leaving, the biggest story of my life,

you're an even bigger idiot than the one I'm in love with!

You just said that on live TV!

Ugh, fine!

Fine!

Fine!

Fine!

(roaring)

And now, my beautiful army, destroy them!

Goobagaba, goobagaba, goobagaba, goobagaba!

(roaring)

(roaring)

Oh no!

(screaming) Oh, oh!

Grandpa, Pop is in trouble!

Oh, I'll get right on that.

ADHD, Pop is in trouble!

Cool!

Oopsies!

(screaming)

(crashing)

Looks bad, Dogman.

We've only been partners for like six minutes,

but it's been real.

I've matured and I respect you.

Even if I'm only saying that for dramatic impact,

that I'm actually still evil and rotten inside.

Dogman?

Dogman.

(gasping)

(grunting)

Not my mouth!

Petey, look.

Hold on, hold on.

I know you need to arrest me for escaping from cat jail,

but there are buildings causing mayhem out there.

They're destroying the city.

Things can't possibly get any worse.

Chief, turns out we actually are out of toilet paper.

(gasping) (screaming)

(roaring)

(crashing)

We're trapped!

(roaring)

(laughing)

(grunting)

What?

(gulping)

Good dog!

(grunting)

Don't stop.

That's not right now.

(roaring)

Yes, finish them!

(laughing)

Everyone, follow Dogman.

Me first.

(roaring)

Oh, we got a cave in back here.

(roaring)

Ah, run!

(roaring)

Climb up, come on!

(grunting)

(roaring)

(laughing)

Leave my papa alone!

(grunting)

Hi papa.

No, Lupini, no!

What the, who's that?

Robocop!

Flippy-coy-ay, Flippy-flipper.

Ah!

Yeah!

(grunting)

Flippy-cobble!

(crashing)

Whoa!

(crashing)

(roaring)

(screaming)

No, you can't escape me, you slippery little cubby!

Oh, do goodness!

Lupini!

Ah, Dogman?

Papa!

Oh, Robocop!

Huh?

Come out and play!

Everybody clear out!

You'll never get away, Robocop!

Come on, let's go!

I'll hunt you down to my last breath!

What are you waiting for?

I'll never stop till you're dead, Robocop!

You better run, papa, it's me he wants.

Robocop!

Oh, Robocop!

Take him, Dogman.

I'll create a distraction and stall the fish.

Papa, wait!

Lupini, if something happens to me,

just try to be evil and stuff and do the wrong thing for me.

Robocop!

But Papa, Flippy's gonna destroy you!

I'll be okay, kid, he's only after do-gooders.

And I'm no do-gooder.

(laughing)

(screaming)

Robocop, there you are!

Go on, get out!

I want all you losers out of here now!

Let's take over here.

Wow, if it isn't the mighty Robocop.

Oh, oh, you're much cuter from a distance.

Can I say that, do you mind?

Because up close, you kind of look old and sad,

and like you might have unresolved daddy issues.

Oh, daddy, did you love me?

No, he didn't!

Oh well, come along now, time to die.

Papa.

Well, that's out of our hands,

nothing we can do about it.

(barking) Good idea.

Wait, what?

(laughing)

Now, how should I get rid of this guy?

Tarpets?

Too slow and boring.

Explosives and things.

No, too fast, the pedestrian.

(gasping)

You, Robocop, are going in that volcano.

Then, I'll take care of all you tough do-gooder friends.

Elsa!

(laughing)

You're right, Dog Man,

there's always something you can do.

Huh?

(dramatic music)

Wait a minute, I'm so confused.

About what?

Look, Dog Man and Petey say Look Petey,

and then Little Petey say Dog Man and Petey,

and then Petey say Look Petey, and Dog Man,

and now Dog Man and Little Petey are saving Petey.

I got one question.

Who's the hero?

All of them, Chief.

All of them.

(dramatic music)

This is how it's gonna work.

As soon as he reaches 10,000 feet,

he drops into the volcano.

(laughing)

Brilliant.

(barking)

(groaning)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(barking)

What you doing?

Well, I'm very busy destroying this Robo Cat, actually.

Why?

Because he's a jerk.

Why?

Because he's trying to stop me.

Why?

Because I want to destroy the city.

Why?

Because I want to.

Why?

Because, all right?

Because I was, I was mad.

Why?

Because, because no one likes me, do they?

Why?

I don't know.

You tell me.

No one's ever liked me.

Even though when I was in the school,

all the other people were like, "Oh, I'm not gonna do

this." Oh, all the other fish, they used to call me

fatty fish face.

Imagine that.

Fatty fish face.

(whimpering)

Maybe Flippy.

Maybe you just need a friend.

Oh yeah.

I got something that'll cheer you up.

What's that?

Your manifesto?

I made you a book.

Do you want to read it?

(groaning)

Yeah, okay.

Sure.

(groaning)

Flippy and me flew up to a star.

They had a swing set, so we swinged on it.

I fell off, but Flippy saved me.

Flippy and me went under the sea.

Then we ate five soups.

The end.

Did you like it?

(whimpering)

Oh, you poor little thing.

(whimpering)

Oh no, my powers, my evil powers, they're fading.

Isn't that good?

Not for Robo Cat.

No, no, wait, don't!

Oh no!

Don't, man!

Don't, man!

(screaming)

(whimpering)

(somber music)

(whimpering)

(crashing)

(gasping)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(whimpering)

(dramatic music)

Good job, ADHD.

Ah, gah, there.

Papa!

Whoa, Petey!

(whimpering)

There they are, step on it!

(screaming)

This is Sarah Hadoff on the scene

and there's a chief arrests Flippy the Fish.

Oh.

Flippy the Fish, I hereby arrest you

for the following things.

Yeah, yeah, no need to list it all, I'm familiar.

Hey, chief, smile.

Oh.

Well done, Dog Man, you did it!

Well, go on and arrest him.

Dog Man, what are you--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

The governor saw the whole thing.

Petey's been pardoned for being a do-gooder.

Wait, serialously?

And I'm not just saying that

because it's an election year.

(laughing)

Where are the cameras?

Okay, well, Petey, looks like you turned out

to be a do-gooder after all.

Do-gooder?

Can it, Fish?

He's a do-gooder!

All right, stop, stop calling me a do-gooder.

I'm not, see?

I'm mean, I'm selfish, and I just want everything

for myself, which includes little Petey.

Come on, little Petey.

Okay, Papa.

Well, this is goodbye.

Say goodbye.

Goodbye, Dog Man.

(somber music)

Hmm.

Well, hey, how about a celebration, huh?

Let's all go back to the station,

completely ignoring the fact that half the city is destroyed.

(tires screeching) Come on, Boo.

Hey, that's Grandpa.

Whoa!

(screaming)

What?

Where's he going?

Where'd he get that truck?

Beats me.

Where's all our stuff?

Not again.

He took everything, but he didn't want my comics?

Kid, it's not you.

Some people just won't change.

Undo?

Never.

Let's go.

We can't stay here.

You were right, Papa.

About what?

The world.

It's nothing but mud puddles,

and pollution,

and weeds.

Look, even the weeds are dying.

Hmm.

Hey, Kid.

What?

Look up.

You wanna know something, Kid?

What, Papa?

This world has a lot of problems,

but it can never be a horrible place,

because you're in it.

Hey, Papa?

So is Dog Man.

(piano music)

(knocking)

Hey, Dog Man.

Look, I know we're arch-rivals and all,

but I was thinking.

Maybe Little Petey could stay with you sometimes?

Raph, raph.

(gasping)

Hey!

Oh yeah, we got you something.

(giggling)

Not the mouth!

(barking)

Get off before I change my mind!

Come on, Papa.

Let's have some fun.

Nah, you guys go ahead.

I'm gonna go back to the lab,

and start over, I guess.

But--

I'll be fine.

Night.

(panting)

Love is a bird

(barking)

And everything

Is not something you hold

Is not something you scream

When you show me love

I don't need your word

(barking) Yeah, love ain't a thing

Love is a thing

Everybody help!

(howling)

(howling)

Love ain't a thing

Love is a thing

We woo, we woo, we woo

Everybody look out!

There's one more building on the loose!

(dramatic music)

Goodnight, Gaga.

Hey!

(upbeat music)

Wow, I feel good

Super fly, super good

Shoulda, coulda, knew I would

Super fly, super fresh

That's your mama, she's impressed

Super fly, super calm

Super mean, super nice

Nice, super clean

Yeah, you know we're so good

Yeah, we're always so good

So good, baby

So locked in at the key, y'all

Hey, in my belly, I'm free to lay

Crispy, gaunt, creme brulee, rare

Like a T-bone steak, I'm good, mm-hmm

I'm good, I'm good, uh-uh-uh-uh

I'm great, I'm great

I'm better than okay

I'm like, ooh

Sometimes it takes two

Never lackin' anything we do

That's my crew, I got it

You got it, we got it

Yeah, you know we're so good

Yeah, we're always so good

So good, baby

Super fly, super good

Shoulda, coulda, knew I would

Super fly, super fresh

That's your mama, she's impressed

Super fly, super cold

Super neat, super nice

Nice, super clean

Yeah, you know we're so good

Yeah, we're always so good

Hey

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)