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'These bombs didn't go off in the army
but they explode daily at home.'

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'which is bad for their neighbours.'

'These are the tormented neighbours.'

Thank God, Pappu was born
in a different neighbourhood.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have
been born in this neighbourhood.

Colonel Shamsher Singh,

Major Ranveer Singh won't
get scared of your blank shots.

If you want to shoot
then do it in my chest.

Don't makes excuses like
women and shoot here and there.

Why shouldn't I?

Your dog poops in our house.

If you are so fond of letting him roam
freely then make him wear a diaper.

Does anyone make a dog wear a diaper?

All your life your family tied
a bag around a goat's udder

so that the lamb
shouldn't drink the milk.

Have you forgotten how
to put the diaper so soon?

You just have to put it carefully.
Is it such a big deal?

Alright then.
Let your cat enter my house now.

If I don't finish her off then my name
is not Major Ranveer Singh.

You are not worthy
of being called a Major.

The ones who gave
you the status of a major

have court-martialled you.

That was because of you too.

You were my friend and
you stabbed me in the back.

Am I Kattappa that
I stabbed you in the back?

-Look at him.
-You have reaped what you sowed.

You couldn't afford
to live in DadduMajra

and you came and built a bungalow
next to me in Sector Eight.

Did your father give me this land?

I have spent my life's earnings on it.

DadduMajra is a hundred times better
than living in your neighbourhood.

Go live in Balongi for all I care.

The elders are right.

A husband should not be gullible and the
neighbourhood shouldn't be quarrelsome.

Bravo, God.

You have arranged a bottle of
alcohol and chicken for me today.

Thank you.

It's all been arranged.

What happened, Major?

You were fighting early
in the morning today.

You could have called me at least.

I would have taught the
Colonel such a lesson that

he would have screamed.

Greetings, uncle.

Can I get you something else to eat?

No, child. You will get late.

By the way, why have you
covered yourself like that?

It seems like you are going
to touch a hornet's nest.

This is our culture, uncle.

Dad says that daughters
are their father's honour.

They are the crown
of their father's heads.

That is why I cover my face
even while going to college.

Neither anyone should see me

nor my father's honour will be harmed.

Right, dad?

I am proud of you, my child.

By the way, make the holes
around your eyes slightly bigger,

lest you bang your scooter
straight into a lamppost.

Look, child, a turban's cloth
can be bought from the market

but you won't be able to buy another
scooter worth sixty-five thousand.

Major, I just remembered

my lunch is at someone's
last rites ceremony.

Ramla Lala Pradhan died.

I have heard that they have invited
the most famous journalists in the city.

It is appropriate that I be
there so I shall take your leave.

Lest they finish off all
the dessert before I reach.

Alright then.

I'll eat all this on the way.

Okay, dad. I should go as well.

Alright, daughter.

Dad, I forgot,

I have extra classes tonight.

And I'll be a little late.

Okay. Take care of yourself.

Okay, dad.

My daughter is completely
untouched by the world.

"Come on, baby, let's do it."

"Come on, baby, let's do it."

"I am feeling so good tonight."

I was going for his
final prayers tonight.

Many journalists
will be there for lunch.

Then what will you do there?

If I live in your neighbourhood

that doesn't mean that you won't
appreciate a senior journalist.

I keep giving you so many
news on a regular basis.

If you bring news for me then
I too pay you in the evenings.

Alright then.
I'll come home in the evening.

I won't be at home in the evening.

I am coming to tell you something
important about the Major.

I think I will be at home.

You, scoundrel, did you whistle at me?

No, it came out
automatically when I saw you.

Be grateful that you have
just seen me until now.

If you ever see my dad

then who knows what
might come out of you.

You're right.

Oh, wow. Even the onion
doesn't have as many layers

as this cultured girl.

At home, in front of her dad,
she is like Door darshan.

Out here, in front of the world,
she is like Fashion TV.

Colonel, look at this girl's behaviour.

Jugnu, when I don't have
to go to a certain village

then why should I speak it's name?

She is the major's daughter.

Mom and dad act so sanctimonious.

And look at this.

Thank God,

that my kid is not like Major's.

Even if God has given me only one son

but he has such high thinking.

-Responsible.
-Cultured.

Obedient.

He doesn't talk unnecessarily to anyone.

He is even more shy than the girls.

Child celibate.

"Your eyes are blue and
your shades are by Dior."

"Your suit is pink
and your scarf is pure chinon."

"Your eyes are blue
and your shades are by Dior."

"Your suit is pink and
your scarf is pure chinon."

"Your fair complexion is hot."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"My heart gets hanged when I see you.
My Mustang follows you automatically."

"My heart gets hanged when I see you.
My Mustang follows you automatically."

"Please say yes, my love."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"God must be on a vacation
when he thought about you."

"God must be on a vacation
when he thought about you."

"Your village is near Jhang."

"Your eyes are blue
and your shades are by Dior."

"Your suit is pink
and your scarf is pure chinon."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

"Every part of you smells like Chanel."

It's four thirty.
It's time for my dad to wake up.

Simran, come. Let's go.

-Arjun.
-Arjun.

-Good night.
-What do you mean good night?

How will you go inside?

Smart people have smart keys.

Bye.

Look at this cultured boy's behaviour.

The father can't get drunk enough

and the son can't get sober enough.

Oh, no. Someone has moved my lift.

That scoundrel Ramu must have done this.

Let him come in the morning.
I will beat him to a pulp.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

And the second world
war began like this.

Son!

-Dad?
-I have named you Arjun

and you start talking about
wars as soon as you wake up.

What else will a soldier's son do?

I was studying history, dad.

I am more happy about the
fact that you are exercising

along with your studies.

Dad, you are the one who says

that a healthy mind
lives in a healthy body.

By the way, what were
you reading about in history?

I was reading about the
second world war, dad.

Now tell me,

why was the battle of Haldighati fought?

The battle of Haldighati,
according to me...

must have been fought
because of the valley.

Otherwise, who fights for
a hundred grams of Haldi?

Dad, you are very funny.

Attention!

Colonel Shamsher Singh doesn't like to
hear anyone's loud voice in the morning.

Colonel!

Colonel!

Colonel!

Loud voice.

Follow me.

I am dead.

Jugnu, you?

Uncle, you should come in the morning.

Dad doesn't like to hear
loud voices in the morning.

Okay, bye.

What's going on? Why are you not wearing
clothes this early in the morning?

Be careful lest your
skeleton catches a cold.

Uncle, where are your clothes?

Well done, you wise guy.

You know what you have done.

I am not that stupid.

I have vague memories, son.

You are the one who took off my clothes.

Why will he take off your clothes?

Does he not have enough clothes?

Yes. My own clothes wait in turn
for six months for me to wear them.

I have understood it.

Uncle, when I woke up
this morning to exercise,

I saw from the window,

the buffalo had clothes in her mouth.

Is that so? Alright, let's believe that.

The buffalo ate my clothes.

Did she take them off too?

I know everything, son.

This is all your doing.

Only your clothes
had comes off till now.

It seems that you will make
me take off your skin too today.

-Arjun, he won't behave like this.
-Yes.

-Get me my gun.
-Right away.

How many times have I told him
not to drink so much?

He is still not sober
after last night's drinking.

That damn fool.

Yes.

Laila, the Majnu is dying to meet you.

He will be there right away
after colouring his beard.

Let's see if Laila gets impressed today.

This colour is not suitable.

I should change my turban
and my clothes.

Sat Sri Akal, Namaste, Good evening!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I now present to you,

the life of this evening,

the drama of Laila and Majnu.

The beautiful girl playing Laila

will take this drama to another level.

And her name is...

Baby Doll.

"Who is the prettiest of them all?
It's our Baby doll."

"Let's get the party on."

"With our baby doll.
Who is the prettiest of them all?"

"It's our baby doll."

"Let's get the party on."

"With our baby doll."

"Trouble!"

Oh, you will set the stage on
fire today, Balwinder Dhillon.

Billa, have you lost your mind?

-Can't you understand what I've told you?
-What happened?

"Stupid."

Do you have a tree at home?

Yes, I do.

-Do you have a rope?
-Yes.

Then why don't you hang yourself?

But what happened?

How many times have I told
you my name is Baby doll?

If you call me Balwinder Dhillon again

then I will crack open your
skull with this very hammer.

Move aside.
It's my turn to enter after Majnu.

All the best.

Laila! Laila!

Laila!

Bravo!

You are here, Laila!

Laila, marry me.

You won't find a boy
like me in entire Arabia.

Laila, why are you riding
a camel? Buy a proper car.

Who will say that Laila
is dark in complexion?

She will get dirty if you touch her.
She grew up in milk and butter.

Oh, my God.

You are soft-hearted like soft cotton.

You have this fly following you.

Majnu is like the Massey tractor. I
will pull this loaded trolley with ease.

Don't say such things.

He is not worthy of you.

He is a man and you are a female.

What do you want?

Laila...

you could try having
feelings towards me.

I may

but what will people say?

In any case,

Laila is made for Majnu.

Have you ever heard Laila
and Colonel being together?

Laila, I have seen all your dramas.

I can give you all the
details regarding all of them.

Move aside!

You are a tube light

and he is pitch dark.

You are Mexican wheat

and I am a stack of hay.

Thank you so much.

For giving this flea
shelter in your stack.

But Laila is made for Majnu.

Have you ever heard Laila
and Major being together?

No.

Majnu, don't create
obstacles in my work.

My future husband
has Canadian PR.

Once I become permanent there,
I will come and get you as well.

Well done, you clever woman.

I should slog here in the desert

and you will have fun in Calgary?

I already knew that there is
something fishy going on here.

You, scoundrel.

I will grab your hair and
hurl you on the ground.

Look at you barking like a dog!

It's alright. I too have the
pictures from our Manali trip.

You will come to your
senses when they go viral.

Don't say that, Majnu.

My body is going there

but my soul is with you.

What will I do with your soul?

Come with me. Otherwise,
I will put all your messages

on Facebook, Instagram and twitter.

Come!

Come with me!

Save me! Save me!

Is there no one in this world

who can save this damsel in distress?

Save me! Someone save Laila from Majnu!

-Someone come and save Laila!
-You...

Hey! What have you done?

You asked me to save you so I saved you.

I was speaking my dialogues.

You always do this.

Someone listen to me.

I already told you

that I won't be able to
do all this drama, Aunty.

Call your mom your Aunty!

Your sister must be your Aunty!

You whole family must be your Aunty!

Trouble!

Hit them!

Hit them!

Hit them!

Bring it on!

Bring it on!

-Bring it on!
-Bring it on!

Hold this potato.

Take this onion.

Oh, one shoe is fine.

But this other one
seems to be a little loose.

It's okay. I'll fix it.

Hold it then.

If I see you anywhere around me,

-I will chop you into pieces.
-Get lost! Come on.

Oh, my God.

-Brother, apple.
-Where is it?

-In front of you.
-Oh!

-You must both be aware.
-About what, brother?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

But, brother, this saying is for those

who get to eat an apple.

That's true. But, never mind.

You may try.

Who knows you may get to eat it.

You stop being careful for a
minute and accidents happen.

This was a small incident.

Ma'am, you must walk carefully.

Tomorrow a bigger accident might happen.

Oh, no!

I will help you.

There's no need.

Let him help you, Ma'am.

God forbid if you make Raj angry.

He may pick you up instead of
picking up these books.

Then you will cry out for help.

And no one will come and help you.

You stop being careful for a
minute and accidents happen.

It can happen to anyone.

You should walk carefully too.

Because no one helps the boys up.

You stop being careful for a
minute and accidents happen.

You should be careful while walking.
Tomorrow a bigger accident may happen.

"Have fun, friends."

-Here you go.
-Damn them.

No, my friend.

They are new birds.
They have just learnt how to fly.

Let them do it.

The more they fly, more fun
we'll have cutting off their wings.

Hey!

Arjun, how do you like it?

Did you get that from your school desk?

-Yes.
-May I say something?

I know what you know.

What is the need to tell the others?

And you don't need
to say certain things.

You must feel them.

"Oh, baby."

"Boy."

Hi.

Come, sit.

-Where?
-There is a lot of space in my heart.

Will you sit?

Do you know that I stay away from
fried food and fake dudes?

Oh, my God.

Arjun, she is gone.

She called me a dude before she left.

Good morning.

Good morning, ma'am.

I am your English teacher.

And today, we will read
about Romeo and Juliet.

One question, ma'am.

-Yes?
-Was Juliet very beautiful?

Yes.

Even more beautiful than you?

Naughty.

Focus on your studies.

Studies?

I am lost.

Hey, Arjun.

Arjun, this is not
your basketball match.

It's a girl's heart.

It can't be won so easily.

Is that so?

If I don't make her sit
on the left seat of my jeep

then don't call me Arjun Singh Gill.

Do you want to bet?

Have you ever won a bet against me?

Did you like this picture?

Thank you.

Hello.

They call me Arjun.

Then let them. I can't stop anyone.

You say such sweet things.

So as per this calculation,

your name must be Sweety.

How do you know?

You boys calculate so much.

Losers.

By the way, you look very nice today.

If Amy Virk was present here today,

what would he have said?

Come on.

"Don't block my way, boy.
It is a hard no for me."

"Don't block my way, boy.
It is a hard no for me."

"You will ask me to meet you secretly."

"You will ask me to meet you secretly."

"This deal won't work for me."

"My heart in exchange for a necklace."

"This deal won't work for me."

"My heart in exchange for a necklace.
This deal won't work for me"

"Tell me what magic have you
done, oh, beautiful complexioned girl?"

"You have filled the blank page
of my heart with your name."

"You have filled the blank page
of my heart with your name."

"Tell me what do you need?
I have a lot of authority here."

"The necklace is a symbol
that this Jatt is yours"

"The necklace is a symbol
that this Jatt is yours"

"They are the ones who
make excuses in love,"

"Those who act too
affectionate in the beginning."

"Those who act too
affectionate in the beginning."

"Then they go after new people."

"Then they go after new people."

"This deal won't work for me."

"My heart in exchange for a necklace."

"My heart in exchange for a necklace."

"My heart is out of my control now."

"Do whatever you want, I
have fallen in love with you."

"Do whatever you want, I
have fallen in love with you."

"You can say whatever you
want. You have all the rights."

"The necklace is a symbol
that this Jatt is yours"

"My heart in exchange for a necklace."

"The necklace is a symbol
that this Jatt is yours"

"My heart in exchange for a necklace."

"The necklace is a symbol
that this Jatt is yours"

-Sweety, you are so pretty.
-Thanks.

-Do you eat soap?
-Shut up.

What do you keep reading all day?

-I can eat this book too.
-Stupid.

Look there.

Look.

You shouldn't play if you
don't know how to play.

Amateur players of amateur games.

If you are such an expert
then you should come and play.

Thanks.

Anyway it is only fun when you
play against a strong opponent.

Do you even know how to play
or do you only know how to talk?

Go, child. Go and play a game of tipcat.

Sorry. I really don't know how to play.

Sorry, Raj.

Arjun really doesn't know how to play.

-Arjun doesn't know how to play.
-Arjun doesn't know how to play.

Have fun, friends.

Soothsayer Arjun can predict anything

from flirting to marriage,

baby's grandson to
Dara's fourth grandmom

and what goes on everywhere
just by reading you palms.

Dara, you have four grandmoms?

Four? His grandad was
born from the fifth one.

So silly.

Sorry, Simran. I sat in
your place by mistake.

No problem.

-Keep sitting.
-Thanks.

Read my palms and tell me
what's written in my hands.

It is written on your palms

that you must be having
at least five to six boyfriends.

Is that what's written on my palms?

No, I am just saying that generally.

A beautiful girl like you
has a few boyfriends at least.

Very funny.

Tell me what is written in my hands?

It is written in your hands

that the one holding your hand will
get one thousand rupees right now.

From where?

Pataka and I had a wager

that if I can hold
your hand for three minutes,

he will give me one thousand rupees.

What?

Arjun...

Why are you getting upset?
You can keep five hundred.

Pataka!

Give me a thousand rupees.

Give it to me.

I won't give you.

Catch him, stop!

Catch him!

"My heart has become yours.
It won't belong to anyone else now."

"My heart is afraid of
staying away from you."

"I won't be able to
live without you now."

"When I see you with
others, it cuts into my heart."

"For God's sake, embrace me once."

"For God's sake, embrace me once."

Oh, it's so hot.

Where are those two?

They have both gone to watch a movie.

-Didn't you go?
-Maybe Arjun is looking for you.

"The game of love is strange.
Who knows what will happen when?"

"The only regret is that
you didn't become mine."

"This miserable love"

-Arjun! Arjun!
-"Has wounded my heart so deeply."

"I kept crying. Why didn't
you have any pity on me?"

"My heart is afraid of
staying away from you."

"I won't be able to
live without you now."

"My heart has become yours.
It won't belong to anyone else now."

Blue is the most beautiful colour.

Everything else is inferior to it.

"It won't belong to anyone else now."

I will give this flower to Ritu.

Oh, someone give me a rose too.

Rose day won't come every day.

I agree that rose
day won't come everyday.

I may give you this rose

but what will I do when the
entire college teases me the whole year?

Come on, guys.

He is the only one left here.

Thank you.

You do deserve a flower.

But not a rose.

-Instead a cauliflower.
-Shut up!

She's so fat.

Oh, my God. You look so
pretty in this dress today.

This colour really suits you.

I feel like I am giving a
red rose to a pink one.

-Happy rose day.
-Oh, thank you.

You are such a smooth talker.

Did you buy these
earrings from Bareilly?

Yes. From the Bareilly's market.

Brother, it's Simran.

Simran.

I know you are upset with me.

The other day I crossed
a line while ragging.

I felt really bad later.

I am really very sorry.

It's okay.

Friends?

It's Fresher's night tomorrow.
You will come, right?

Yes.

Alright. See you.

Hello! Listen, guys.

Listen to me carefully.

The principal has ordered

that the party will only go
on till twelve tonight.

After that, everyone must go home.

-Got it.
-Oh, no!

What fun will we
have in such little time?

It's alright.

Friends, there's only one way
to have most fun in less time.

Antakshari.

Come into the playground then.

Oh, Sweety!

We are always in the playground.

Alright then.

One team belongs to Arjun.

One team belongs to Raj.

Rest is up to the people.

They may choose their teams.

Do you accept?

-We accept.
-We accept.

-We accept.
-We accept.

Come on then.

Simran hasn't come till now.

She is one who knows songs
and couplets better than all of us.

-Yes.
-I suggest we wait.

-Yes.
-You may wait.

It's better than losing, right?

-These damn chickens.
-Arjun, let's begin.

She must be on the way.

Arjun, Simran is here.

We will definitely win now.

Simran...

Let's play Antakshari!

-Yes!
-Yes!

"Warm yourself in the fire of love."

"Warm yourself in the fire of love."

"I have seen the entire world."

"I haven't seen anyone like you."

"I haven't seen anyone like you."

"You won't realize it, boy."

"You won't realize it, boy."

"The one that you are following."

"She is like the heel of my shoes."

"She is like the heel of my shoes."

"How are the flowers
falling in this season?"

"How are the flowers
falling in this season?"

"We both have a bond."

"Why did people start getting jealous?"

"Why did people start getting jealous?"

"The matter is heavy like a branch."

"The matter is heavy like a branch."

"I will see how long"

"This new friendship of yours lasts."

"This new friendship of yours lasts."

"Ask me which year it is."

"Ask me which year it is."

"You are all roaming in couples."

"Someone ask me how I am doing too."

"Someone ask me how I am doing too."

"Jatt's anger never feels shy."

"Jatt's anger."

"Jatt's anger never feels shy."

"Jatt's anger."

"I will shoot every single one of them."

"Let me know if anyone bothers you."

"Let me know if anyone bothers you."

"How spicy do you find the curry?"

"How spicy do you find the curry?"

"While staring at Jatt's choice?"

"Don't you fear for your life"

"Don't you fear for your life?"

"Don't you fear for your life?"

Okay, guys!

Time is over. Go home now.

Ma'am, how is that possible?

We haven't reached a decision yet.

Let someone lose.

No means no.

Go from here now.

It's the first time that I have
seen someone so eager to lose.

If I had got a little more time
then you would have found out

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Alright then.

Let's watch who wins

in the basketball field tomorrow.

Yes, there will be a basketball match
to score three baskets tomorrow.

The one who scores the most is the King.

And what will the winner get, ma'am?

What will they get?

Just a minute!

Hold on!

The one who wins will get to kiss me.

Simran, you are not in
your senses. Be quiet.

I am in my senses. You stay quiet.

Jasmine, drop Simran home.

I won't go.

Be careful.

Now the doubts that you have left

will be cleared in the
play ground tomorrow.

It will become clear who drank
his mother's milk and who didn't.

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

-Raj!
-Raj!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Come on.

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Yes, yes.

Oh, no!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Have fun, friends!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

I will teach you a lesson.

Oh no.

Raj!

-Arjun!
-Come on Arjun.

-Arjun!
-Hey!

Arjun!

Raj! Raj! Raj!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Go, Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Go, Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

-Arjun!
-Arjun!

Come on! Go for it!

Come on!

Arjun!

Arjun!

Come on! Go for it!

Come on! Go for it!

Arjun! Arjun!

Raj!

You can do it, Raj!

Yes!

Whoa!

Yes!

Congratulations.

Your team has won.

Arjun...

So, friends!

Our friend Raj has won both
the wager and the competetion.

As you all know,

what will the winner get?

A kiss from Simran!

So brace yourselves!

Because the prize distribution
ceremony is about to begin.

Simran, come forward.

Look, Raj, I said all
that when I was drunk.

Ma'am, have another few bottles then.

You have given your
word in front of everyone.

Right? What do you all say?

-Raj!
-Raj!

-Raj!
-Raj!

-Raj!
-Raj, please.

Forgive me.

-Raj!
-Raj!

I told you I was drunk.

-Raj!
-Raj!

No, Raj, please. Please, Raj.

Raj, let go off me, please!

Raj, please.

Let go.

What is this misbehaviour?

You are the one who is misbehaving.

I have won the bet.

What was the bet about?

It wasn't about a lip kiss.

Why are you feeling so jealous?

Is she your sister?

I would have definitely told
you what she means to me

if you were worthy of knowing it.

You, scoundrel, you
are acting so arrogant.

No one will call me Raj

if I don't turn this basket
ball field into a burial site!

Stop!

Arjun!

Get up!

Arjun! Let him go!

Leave me!

Arjun...

-Arjun, he will die!
-Let him go!

-Arjun!
-Stop it!

-Arjun...
-I said stop it!

What is this?

Hey!

What is this misbehaviour?

You have turned the
college into an arena.

What is your name, boy?

Arjun Singh Gill.

If your name is Arjun that does not mean
that you can shoot an arrow anywhere.

Bring your father tomorrow.

Or else, I will rusticate
you from the college.

Father...

Oh. How long has it been?

-I...
-Sir, it's been five years.

If your father had been alive,

he would have died of shock
after seeing your misbehaviour.

No problem. Bring your mom tomorrow.

Sir, mother...

Now don't say that your mom is dead too.

If you don't bring your mom then
come and get your certificate from me.

Sir.

His mom will come.

And you, Raj. You are a senior.

You should be ashamed of such behaviour.

Bring your father tomorrow.
Otherwise, you know me, son.

I will be waiting. Go!

Everyone, go to your classes. Come on.

Go on, everyone.

I am sorry... Arjun...

What was the need to say
that my mom is alive?

What mess have you both created now?

We said whatever we thought
appropriate at that time.

Hey, first of all, we saved you.

And see this. No good
deed goes unpunished.

-Good deed?
-Yes.

You scoundrel, where will
my mom come from?

She will come too.

From where?

Just watch.

"Baby doll."

Anarkali, you will look after my dad,

the jilleillahi, after we get married,
won't you?

You, scoundrel, it's not jilleillahi.

It is Zille-ilaahi.

-Jille-ilaahi?
-Yes.

Say it as ma'am is asking.

Otherwise, I will break your nose.

Hello, ma'am.

We have an important work with you.

What is it?

-Hurry up, you fool.
-Who are they?

I don't know.

Tell me. What is it?

We need a mother's character
in our college for a day.

I won't play the character
of anyone's mom.

Is it my age to be a mom?

Give me a chance.

I will make you a mom.

-You will make me?
-Yes.

Billa, do you have kerosene oil at home?

Yes, I have a cannister full of it.

-You must be having a matchstick too?
-Yes, I have a matchstick too.

Then why don't you
die, you imbecile? Look.

I don't play the character of a mother.

Well, you may tell me if you
need me to play som eone's sister.

What do we need a sister for?
We need a mother.

Be quiet.

I came to you with
great expectations.

I thought you are an art-lover.

You can play any character.

But you have no fault in this.

I am unlucky.

When I was very small in my childhood,
my mom left me.

I never felt the warmth
of a mother's love.

Because I saw my father.

I never saw my mother.

-Come on, come on, let's go.
-Yes, let's go.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Alright. I am ready to
become a mother for you.

But it will cost
you a thousand rupees.

One thousand? Ma'am, please
accept seven hundred and fifty.

Have you come to get a mother
or buy vegetables from the market?

-Go. I won't be your mother.
-No, he is foolish.

You may charge a thousand rupees.

Just come to Chandigarh
University at ten in the morning.

Alright. I will be there.

Keep twelve hundred rupees ready.

You just said one thousand rupees.

Does it seem appropriate for
such a big star to travel in a bus?

I will have to travel
by an auto-rickshaw.

You will get it.

You will get it. Just come to
the principal's office tomorrow.

Okay. Now sit down and
enjoy my rehearsal.

They're gone.

-May I come in, Sir?
-Who is it?

Sir, it's me Arjun.
My mom is here to meet you.

Make her sit and go out.

Okay, Sir.

I am sorry,
Ma'am, I had to call you here.

But I had no other options.

Arjun is becoming very spoilt.

And I will have to
suspend him from college

temporarily for the way
he behaved yesterday.

No!

This cannot be possible.

I had so many dreams for my son.

I used to think that
if he studies well

he will bear the burden
of his widow mother.

But, no. All of my dreams
have been shattered.

You mustn't worry at all.

I won't let your dreams get shattered.

I am here, aren't I?

He was there too.

But he left one day.

And left this beautiful sixteen
year old wife of his behind.

I had a baby in my belly.

The world was terrible.

I used to think that

the troubles I have seen

will be erased by the happiness
that my son brings me.

But now his education
is being taken away too.

Oh, God! Why didn't you kill me
before showing me this day?

Oh, God!

No, no. Don't say that.

I am the Principal not an executioner.

I understand the pain
of my student's parents.

And your case is special.

Don't worry at all.

I am here, aren't I?

-You are here, right?
-Yes. Of course.

Then it's fine. You sit, I'll leave.

You understand how difficult
it is for a hot widow

to stay out of the house in the evening.

Absolutely.

-Oh, God!
-What happened?

I have a cramp in my back.

Will you help me get up?

I will help you.

I am here, aren't I? I am here.

Oh, God!

-Be careful.
-Help me up.

-You are like a flower.
-Oh, God!

"Who is the prettiest of them all?"

-Listen.
-Yes.

Keep visiting.

"Let's get the party on.
With our baby doll."

"Who is the prettiest of them all?"

"Our baby doll."

"Let's get the party on."

"With our baby doll."

-Thank you.
-Hold on.

This is a hundred rupees less.

We had a deal for twelve hundred.

But we didn't have
a deal about crying.

I had to cry so much there.

It will cost you an extra
hundred rupees for crying.

Doll, I only brought twelve hundred.

Will you give me the rest or
should I go to the Principal?

No, Doll! I will give you.

I will give you.

Where is it?

Thank you.

Open the door.

Or will such a big star open it?

-Come inside, please.
-Idiot.

"Baby doll."

Let's go.

Arjun isn't back yet.

-Just call him, you fool.
-Here he comes.

How is it going?

Did you drop baby doll off?

Drop her off? I got rid of her
with such great difficulty.

Do you know she was ready to go to
the Principal for a hundred rupees?

It's alright.
At least you got rid of your problem.

-Yes.
-This calls for a celebration.

We must party.

-Yes.
-We must.

May I throw a party?

Alright, guys, I should go.
I have a project due tomorrow.

I have made a mistake for
the first time in eighteen years.

Won't you forgive me?

You call this a mistake?

There cannot be a bigger
foolishness than this!

You have changed a lot, Simran.

And I don't even know this Simran.

You are the reason
behind this change, Arjun.

We have been together
since childhood. But now...

morning is for Sweety,
evening is for Sweety,

Sweety said this, she said that!
Sweety is this! Sweety is that!

Have you ever praised me
so much in all these years?

I have no problem that
you made new friends, Arjun.

But because of your new friends...

if you forget me,

then yes!

Yes, I do have a problem!

-Just a minute, Simran.
-Shut up!

You better stay quiet.

If you were new, you should
have stayed as a new friend.

But, no.

You started wooing my Arjun.

Be quiet, Simran!

-This is not the way to talk.
-Oh!

So now you don't like
the way I talk too?

-Be quiet, Simran.
-I won't stay quiet!

-What do you want?
-You!

I want you.

I am in love with you, Arjun!

Simran, you are misunderstanding us.

We are just good friends
and nothing else.

Arjun has never looked
at me like that.

As far as I am concerned...

I was born in a rich family.

I was the only daughter so I always
grew up with security around me.

That is why I could
never have good friends.

But when I met you all I felt like...

this is what real friendship is.

Maybe because of this...

I got too close to Arjun.

Which you have misunderstood Simran.

Arjun is only yours, Simran.

And me...

I have the habit of staying
alone since childhood.

You need to apologize to Sweety.

-You have hurt her feelings.
-You are worried about her even now?

You don't care about
how nmuch I have been hurt.

Simran loves you madly, Arjun.

You love her too though.

Why don't you understand?

I don't think that I love Simran.

She is just my friend.

Keep your hand on your heart

and say that you
really don't love her.

When Raj was about to kiss her,
we were all right there.

Why did you feel so bad?

That without caring for your
life you fought with all of them.

Simran has been with you
since 18 years, Arjun.

Has there ever been a single day

when you didn't talk to her
or you didn't meet her?

Think about it.
She is not with you in the future,

if you think that you can
live without her then it's fine.

Then it's friendship and not love.

And if not, then you will understand.

"My heart has become yours.
It won't belong to anyone else now."

"My heart is afraid of
staying away from you."

"I won't be able to
live without you now."

"When I see you with others,
it cuts into my heart."

"For God's sake, embrace me once."

"For God's sake, embrace me once."

"When has anyone been able
to solve the problems of love?"

"You told me so many times
and I could never understand."

"When we broke up
I forgot how to sleep at night."

"I want to get your name written
on every breath of mine."

"My heart is afraid of
staying away from you."

"I won't be able to live
without you now."

Look, Simran, you confessed what's
in your heart in front of everyone.

One needs a lot of courage to do that.

So what, Jassi?

He rejected my love
in front of everyone.

It happens.

It happens many times.

People are unable to differentiate
between love and friendship.

The, tell me, Jassi, what should I do?

When Arjun wouldn't do his homework,
what did you do then?

I used to do his homework.

And what did you do when
he forgot his lunchbox at home?

I used to give him my lunchbox.

That's it. You must do
the same thing this time too.

If he loves you
and is not able to confess it,

you must make him.

You?

What are you doing here?

I have confessed
what was in my heart.

Now I just want to hear
you say those three words.

Say them and I will leave.

Go from here.

My dad will come.

You know what he's like.

Then tell me you love me quickly.

-Must I be forced to?
-Yes.

Nowadays, it's alright to force in love.

Who says yes with love.

Will you say it or should I talk
directly to my father-in-law?

Did your father give me this land?

Be quiet.

Not even a sparrow has chirped
in this house until today.

Where did a girl's voice come from?

Arjun, who is it?

-No one.
-No one?

Dad... I saw a lizard.

You are a Colonel's son
and you are afraid of lizards?

Dad, I screamed out of fear.

I have heard men abuse
out of fear many times

like oh, damn!

I found out today that fear
changes people's gender too.

There is something fishy.

Go from here. Dad is coming.

Then say I love you quickly.

It's all been arranged.

What should I do?

Oh, well.

-What happened to you?
-Nothing, dad.

Then why are you sweating?

You could have called me at least.

Just like that, dad.

What have you done to your legs?

They look so shiny.

Dad, my hair had grown a lot.

That is why I got them waxed.

Hey, Salman Khan!

Hair is a sign of masculinity.

What's going on with
this new generation?

Let alone chests,

they have started
waxing their legs too.

It seems he is into wrong things.

Hey!

They are the crown
of their father's heads.

What is this? Why do you
have nail paint on your feet?

Dad, don't touch me.

Who are your friends in college?

Pataka.

Then this was bound to happen.

Say you love me.

-No...
-Then watch.

Oh, you are grabbing your dad.

You are kicking your dad now?

Dad, just assume

that my legs aren't in my control.

Say it or I will get up.

Dad, I love you.

You are talking about legs?

I feel like your tongue
is not in your control either.

-At least say it now.
-What is this misbehaviour?

If my dad had seen you then I
would have been in so much trouble.

Go from here.

-So you won't say it.
-No.

I have understood, Arjun.

Dad, I forgot,

I love you.

But that doesn't mean

that you should love me too.

Simran, it's not like...

No, Arjun.

It's not your fault.

I had decided to spend my life with you.

You didn't.

And now...

Now I will never bother you.

I will go from your life.

And I will never...

come in front of you.

Simran, talk about
going away from life...

when you feel

that your Arjun can live without you.

You wanted to hear me
confess my love, right?

Now listen to it.

Did you hear anything?

No.

Now?

No...

Listen one more time.

Your silence has confessed
in such a way, Arjun...

that all the words in world can't.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I thought that you all won't come.

What? How can we not come?

We are Punjabis.

We can bow down to the
crows who go to Canada.

You are a girl.

And on top of that, our friend.

Thank God,

I must say one thing.

When I came here my heart
was completely empty.

But now that I am leaving

my heart if full of love.

I am leaving with so many friends.

Bye.

Don't go, Sweety.

Please, please, don't go.

Now I will only return

when you both

invite me to your wedding.

Principal's call?

-Good afternoon, Sir.
-Good afternoon, Son.

I was passing by your
house so I thought that

I should have a cup of
tea made by your mom.

Sir... mom is not at home.

She has gone for
a spiritual gathering.

She will return after a few hours.

No problem. I will wait
for her for a few hours.

Sir? Hello? Hello?

We will sit and drink together.

Oh, God, what have you done?

What should I do now?

"Baby doll."

Hello. Who is this?

It's me, Arjun.

If you are Arjun then go and
shoot arrows in the fish's eye.

Why did you call me?

Maybe you didn't recognize me.

I am the same guy for whom
you played his mom in college.

My Principal is coming to my house.

That too to meet my mom meaning you.

It will cost you fifteen hundred rupees.

You have called me in an emergency.

You charged one thousand the last time.

-Should I hang up?
-No, no.

Doll, I accept.

I will WhatsApp you the address.

Just come quickly.

Okay. I will be right there.

Move aside.

Fifteen hundred rupees!
We'll do the show tomorrow.

-Is she here?
-No, Sir.

Sir, mom is here.

-Greetings.
-Greetings.

-Come. -By the way, how did you
happen to grace us with your presence?

-I was just passing by.
-Yes.

So I thought I should have
a cup of tea made by you.

I don't make tea.

Ever since Colonel passed away,
I have turned my back on sweets.

Will you have something spicy?

Yes... what do you have in spicy?

A sword, a dagger, a spear.

They are all quite sharp.

What will you eat?

A sword, a dagger, a spear.

Who eats those?

The colonel used to eat.

Yes, Sir.

He had a part-time business
of performing tricks too.

See his picture.

That is a very nice picture.

Colonel's?

No, the lion's.

Be quiet.

I have become a widow because of him.

But what happened?

One day the Colonel went for a hunt.

-Then?
-Then he shot straight at the lion.

The lion collapsed right on spot.

He went to take a selfie for sport.

The lion smiled sweetly for the selfie.

After that the Colonel was running

with the lion following him.

Colonel was running ahead.

The lion was following.

The Colonel was lucky

that the lion slipped at that moment.

If Colonel was running ahead

and the lion was following him

then didn't the Colonel
wet his pyjamas out of fear?

What else did the lion slip on?

But how did the Colonel die?

He will die if you hear the full story.

Then go on.

After a month, the same lion
met the Colonel in a circus.

-Okay.
-The colonel saw the lion,

the lion saw the colonel.

Both moved back a few feet.

Then both moved forward at the speed
of hundred kilometres per hour.

There was blood everywhere.

His head exploded.

-The colonel's?
-No, the lion's.

-How?
-With a rod.

Where did the rod come from?

The lion was in the cage that's why.

But how did the colonel die?

Hey!

Is only my husband dead
or is your father dead too?

You should tell him
something about the lion too.

-The lion got angry.
-Really?

-Dad went to the toilet.
-Didn't he take his rifle?

He didn't take water either.

-Then?
-Then the dangerous lion came.

Dad was empty-handed.

And he had just one trick.

-What?
-Attention!

But how would the
lion understand that?

He made me get a widow's pension.

Oh, God!

It's time for dad to come.

Who?

Mom...

The Colonel comes home at five.

He takes very good care
of us even after dying.

It's almost five.

Have milkshake with
the Colonel before you go.

-Yes.
-Do you see him?

We can both see him.

And every man who has evil
intentions for my mom can see him.

-I am gone.
-You won't see him, Sir.

You are not like that.

No, no, no.

Arjun.

Colonel Shamsher Singh doesn't like to
hear anyone's loud voice in the morning.

Dad.

Arjun, ask Ramu to get
the stuff out of the car.

Oh, God, protect me from this danger!

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Ghost! Save me, God!

-Arjun.
-Yes?

Who was that monkey?

He left with flames
underneath his feet.

I don't know either.

He seemed like a mad man.

He knocked at the door

and I said yes.

He said do you want to
rent the Qutub Minaar?

Then you should have
asked him to think about it.

We have not let Laal Qila go until now.

What?

Hello, Simran.

-Sorry. I am late again today.
-Hi.

-You are too much.
-You both come from the same place.

You should both come together.

Together? We can come together.

But who will get abused by my dad?

That's true.

If my dad finds out
that I have a boyfriend

and that too Arjun,
he will kill us on spot.

You cannot live without each other.

You will have to tell
them sooner or later.

Then why the delay?

Awaken the lover inside you.

Heer-Ranjha,
Mirza-Sahibaan, Sassi-Punnu.

Close your eyes and meditate upon them

and get strength from them.

-Listen to me...
-Fine!

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Arjun, Simran, all the best!

-Arjun.
-Yes?

I am feeling very scared.

Don't be scared. I am here.

That is what I am scared of.

Because you are with me.

Think again, Arjun.

I have.

the life of this evening,

Give me your hand.

Your hands are shaking.

Not at all.

Your words are not
supporting you either, Arjun.

Neither are my legs.

Oh, my God! Sir!

Sir! Trouble has begun!

Arjun Sir has made a big blunder.

He eloped with the Major's daughter.
Come quickly!

If I had known that the
daughter I raised like a son

will dishonour her father like this,

I would have killed you
as soon as you were born.

Didn't you think even once

-before holding my enemy's son's hand?
-Dad.

Your dad is dead!

Uncle, don't say that.

-Simran and I...
-Enough.

If you say Simran's name again

then I will erase your name
from your dad's ration card forever!

What will happen then?
I will get two kg of less sugar.

Think about the time

when the Colonel will send
you post-wedding sweets.

-What's all this drama?
-Ask your filthy offspring not me!

Is that so? If mine is filthy

then did you give birth to her
after washing her with detergent?

Don't you dare say
anything about my daughter!

I have not said anything until today.

If I start telling the
truth about your kid

you will jump off your
roof and die out of shame.

If I start digging into
your son's dirty laundry

then you won't be
able to climb the roof,

instead, you will bury
yourself right here.

They should fight their own fight.

Why are they dragging us in it?

Look there, you fake man,

how your daughter is whispering things
into my son's ear right in front of you.

Simran! Come inside!

It seems that you will die at my hands.

And you will die at mine.

Dad, before you cremate our love

-I want to say something.
-Hurry up and say it.

Dad, I love Simran

and I can't live without her.

Apple doesn't fall

far from the tree.

Dad, I can't live without Arjun either.

Like father, like daughter.

Come!

Simran!

Brother,
the old men have forgotten love.

They can only fight.

Their life is colourless.

Just think how to fill the
colour of love in their lives.

I don't think that their SIMs
can be recharged now.

How can they not? It will happen.

But only pre- paid.

How?

Where I will take you.

-Have fun, friends.
-Have fun, friends.

"Baby doll."

"Who's the prettiest of them all?
Our baby doll."

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"With our baby doll."

"Who's the prettiest of them all?
Our baby doll."

"Let's get the party on."

"With our baby doll."

Greetings.

Greetings, Namaste, Adaab, Hello.

Hello?

I am dead!

Your enemies should be the ones to die.

You are hail and hearty.

I am dead.

Feel it.

What?

Sorry!

I didn't realize.

It's not your fault.

My silly feet

got out of their limit.

I am baby doll.

-I know.
-Oh.

And who are you?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Arjun, who am I?

You are my dad.

I know that. What is my name?

What did you do to my dad?

I just asked him his name.

Is this the way to ask his name?

He has become incapable
of telling his own name.

He is the owner of this house,

Colonel Shamsher Singh.

My dad.

Oh, my God!

Is he your dad?

He is so fit.

I thought he is your brother.

Younger or elder?

Is he your only son?

Yes, I have only one daughter.

And I am retired Major Ranveer Singh.

-Oh.
-By the way,

who told you that
we are renting our room?

You have put a board
outside saying it's for rent.

No, I haven't put any such boards.

Actually, the army people
have so many weapons

that they keep a bomb and
forget where they have kept it.

First of all, we don't
want to rent our room.

Even if dad agrees,

will you be able to pay
twenty thousand rent?

I would have paid
thirty instead of twenty

if I had a guardian like Major.

Daughter, don't measure love with money.

Dad.

I mean you can't measure
everything with money.

Sorry.

You should go look somewhere else.

Have we opened a motel?

There are no rooms available here.

Arjun!

Don't you have the
manners to speak to a guest?

Guest? Is she my Aunt from Bhucho?

Attention!

I am sorry, Baby.

Doll.

Arjun is a child.

What would he know that an artist's
heart is delicate like a mirror?

It can break with the slightest jerk.

So what do you order that I do now?

Not an order,

just a request.

What?

You are ours from today onwards...

-What?
-Tenant.

Oh, thank you.

-And rent?
-You can take whatever you want.

Dad.

I mean that you can pay
whatever rent you want.

And keys?

Here it is.

The key to my heart.

Oh, God.

Tricks to stay young.

Major!

Who is here now?

-May I come inside?
-Get out!

Is there a circus going on inside

that cannot begin
without a joker like you?

Hurry up and tell me what
do you want? I am very busy.

Major, I was passing by your bungalow

so I thought I should meet you.

Are you done? Now go.

Major.

What happened, Major?

I have come to tell you
something about the Colonel.

What do I have to do with him?

Go and tell him about him.

This is very strange.

Major didn't want to
hear about the Colonel.

It is the same as

the cat not drinking uncovered milk.

Jugnu, you?

-Colonel, shall we go inside?
-No.

I am not at home tonight.

Such rude behaviour.

Colonel, guests are an
embodiment of Lord Vishnu.

I am a worshipper of Laxmi.

It is up to you. I brought
some news about the major.

No major, no minor.

Don't disturb me.

Listen to me!

I must tell you this news.

Before you blurt out your news here,

-WhatsApp it to me.
-This is strange.

You don't want to
listen to anything today.

Okay, let's drink then.

So you have shown your level.

Wait here. Don't come inside.

Why isn't this man
letting me in today?

There is definitely
something fishy going on.

Take this bottle

and get lost from here. Go on.

-Go.
-I asked for a drink

and I got a bottle.

I can hear the sound of
anklets coming from inside.

-Anklets?
-Yes.

Our Arjun must be wearing them.

Arjun wears anklets?

He wears bangles too.

Some days, even I wear a
maxi and dance with him.

You have never shown me your dance.

Shouldn't I slap you hard and show you?

Go.

Why aren't both these army-men

talking properly today?

Let it be.

Anyone lives or dies,

this man will have fun.

Jugnu, you go and entertain yourself.

This fool is calling now?

Yes, principal?

I can neither sleep at nights

nor find peace in the day.

Go to a good doctor.

It seems that you are
suffering from jaundice.

You didn't understand.

I was saying

that my heart is beating too fast

and my chest is tight.

What? These are the
symptoms of high blood pressure.

You are deliberately
not trying to understand.

May I be honest?

I cannot see anything
other than you now.

Oh, my God!

You have cataract as well.

You are just naming diseases.

I am ready to ride the swing of love.

You scoundrel, few other people
are dying to ride the swing of love too.

Principal, be careful, lest
the branch might break.

Baby.

Doll!

Hang up quickly.

The Colonel is here.

I mean his ghost is here.

If he sees me talking to you

he will either pull you out of the phone

or he will get into the
phone and cling to you.

Hello?

Baby.

May I come in?

-Aren't you in already?
-What?

You have entered my core.

Really?

It's good that you are here.

I was just about to come see you,
Colonel.

The one who knows what's
in the heart is a know-it-all.

If you are such a know-it-all,

then you must be knowing

why I was about to come to you.

I know.

Tell me.

-Shall I?
-Go ahead.

Let me say it.

Leave it. I will tell you.

Say it.

When will you say it?
When I faint and fall on the ground?

I am the one who is falling.

That too in the middle of the nights.

You have never fallen on me.

Whenever it has fallen,

only lighting has fallen.

You didn't understand.

Actually, I have the
habit of sleepwalking.

-You have never walked towards me.
-What?

I mean were you coming
just to tell me that?

That you have the habit of sleepwalking?

Alright.

From today onwards,
the windows and doors

of this bungalow will be shut.

No, no, Colonel.

Don't do that.

Otherwise, I might
bang into walls and die.

I have understood.

So from today onwards, all the
doors and windows of this house

are open for you at all times.

Oh, you are not a colonel.

You are my Kullu from now onwards.

You are my Manali.

-You are my Dusshera.
-You are my Diwali.

Yes. It's my habit.

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Oh.

Your voice is very sweet.

That is true.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning,

I have ants crawling on my neck.

-Ants?
-Yes.

If I may be honest, whatever I am today

is because of this throat.

-How is that?
-My dad used to say

if you sing after today,

I will cut off your neck.

So I stopped singing and started acting.

May I ask you something?

Please, ask.

If you aren't going to knock
then why did you put a door here?

Get it removed.

I am sorry.

I won't give you any chance
to complain after today.

Sorry.

I wanted to say something else too.

Yes? Go on.

I will be late while coming home.

Because the rehearsal
of my new play is going on.

You don't have a problem, do you?

No. Not at all.

It is your own home.

By the way,
which play are you rehearsing?

One hand-drum of two bachelors.

What did you say?

-Of two bachelors.
-One hand-drum...

Wow. Beautiful title.

Yes, yes.

Now what will you take to leave?

What will I take?

There's no need to think so much.

I haven't offered you anything.
It was a request.

Go and shut the door.

I have asked you to shut the
door from the outside not the inside.

Sorry...

Simran, this nail
paint is very beautiful.

-Thank you.
-Give it to me too.

Give it to me.

So? Did your dads change even a little?

Not a little,

a lot.

What?

Dad has opened a gym at home.

He is always exercising
whenever I see him.

"Bravo!"

It is the same story here too.

Earlier,
he used to listen to sad so ngs.

Now he plays romantic songs at home.

They seem to be coloured in love

that is why they are acting like this.

How much are these brinjals for?

Fifty rupees per kg.

Are you serious?
Fifty rupees for brinjals?

A whole chicken can be bought
for a hundred rupees that too alive.

You may get a chicken

but you can't make a bhartha out of it.

Prakash, you are
sprinkling so much water.

What happened? Are the
vegetables unconscious?

Sir, they are not unconscious.

Nowadays the one who buy
vegetables are unconscious.

The buyers will be unconscious.

You sell onions at the
same cost of apples.

Here you go.

I don't have change.

Please, get it from somewhere around.

Get it from somewhere around.

Well done on your deals.

Excuse me.

I am dead.

Is Qutub Minaar sold?

Colonel, please forgive me.

I can swear on anyone,

I will never look at your
wife with ill intentions again.

You may look but you
will have to go up for that.

Brother, I will buy your
vegetables tomorrow.

I have got enough for today.

Careful.

What happened to y ou?

What happened?

Greetings, Uncle.

Why did he come here?

I will tell you.

Come.

Come. Take it easy.

I am dead. I am lost.

Take it easy. Sit.

It's alright.

I was going on the road

and one goon started following me.

Who was that scoundrel?

How would I know?

It's not like I ask goons their names.

If you hadn't asked his name

then at least you could have
clicked his picture on your phone.

Was he Dharmendar's son
that I should click his picture?

That's fair too.

Then what happened?

Then a hooligan came
and stood right in front of me.

Then what happened?

Then this brave girl saved me.

Alright, alright.

-Simran.
-Yes.

Where was I?

When I saved you from the goons.

Wow.

What a memory!

Well done, child. May God bless you.

Then what happened? Tell me quickly.

Quickly? Do you have
to show a green signal

to the Bathinda express
at nine fifty pm?

Arjun, where was I?

When the goon said that
there is no one at home.

Yes! Then another four goons came.

One hit me with a rod
really hard on my ankles.

And the other took out a sword.

Oh, my God. Then what happened?

Then? Then this young boy came
and stood in front of those goons.

He thrashed them so hard

that they will never dare to
tease a hot, sexy girl again.

Pardon me.

Even a weak man can gather
the courage to tease women

if they go out of the
house dressed indecently.

I am proud of Simran for that.

She is such a delicate, homely, cultured

and well-dressed girl.

I wish I was Arjun's mom.

-You wish?
-Yes.

What are you saying?

What did you hear?

What you said.

What did I say?

If you were Simran's mother.

Mother!

I mean mom.

Mummy.

-I mean mom.
-Then?

Then you were saying something.

Oh, I was saying

if I were Arjun's mom,

I would have brought home

A daughter-in-law like
Simran without thinking.

Major's daughter will be
Colonel's daughter-in-law?

Why? What's wrong with her?

Girls from good families

don't wear skimpy clothes
and gallivant on their scooters.

So what?

I used to wear skimpy clothes
too when I was in college.

A person's thinking is
bad not their clothes.

I cannot stay in a house
where women are not respected.

-Baby.
-No Doll.

Sorry, sorry.

I made a mistake.

Actually, my fight is with his father.

And I started disliking this poor guy.

After today,

I will try my best to improve myself.

If you try to accept Arjun as your son

then I guarantee that
you will be successful.

-Arjun...
-Yes.

Please, drop me to my room.

You go. I will drop her to her room.

Truly spoken, Sir.

If you need me again

then let me know.

I will be here.

Greetings, Uncle.

Greetings, son.

Come, let me drop you to your room.

As tightly as you are holding me,

you will let me go, won't you?

"There is no dearth of anything.
We have no sorrow."

"Pockets are full of money
and all moments are wonderful."

"We are always full of joy."

Don't you have manners? I will slap you.
I will break your face with this...

"We are having
the time of our lives."

-How much is it for?
-Eighty rupees.

"We are having
the time of our lives."

I'm...

"The time of our lives."

Good job.

"Even if there is stress,
we don't ever worry."

"We don't hear bad from anyone
and we don't say bad things to anyone."

"Even if there is stress,
we don't ever worry."

"We don't hear bad from anyone and
we don't say bad things to anyone."

"The wires to our hearts
are linked with fun."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

Hello.

Hello, Sir.

Order, please.

Can't you see we are discussing
something important?

But no one is talking.

You seem to know a lot.

Go away.

He ruined the entire mood.

-Just bring us two coffees, please.
-Yes, madam.

-Listen, come slowly. Take your time.
-Okay.

-Okay, Sir.
-We are in no hurry.

Okay, Sir.

Oh, my God!

Arjun, I cannot believe
that I am meeting you.

I am so happy.

Who are you? I can't recognize you.

Is that so?

You have forgotten me so soon?

Do you remember you came
to Bathinda two years ago

for your basketball match?

And you gifted me a basketball too.

You made a heart on it and
wrote with love, for Mona.

We exchanged numbers too.

-Then?
-Then nothing.

We chatted for two months.

And do you know what?

My phone got stolen after that.

So I lost his number too.

Oh!

By the way, tell me
are you still single?

Who is this girl?

She is my fiance.

Alright.

That is why you can't breathe.

It's alright. You guys carry on.

Bye.

Bye, Arjun.

With love, for Mona?

You chatted with her for two months?

-Mona?
-She said it was two years ago.

Didn't you hear that?

I feel like breaking your legs.

No, no. Don't break my legs.

I need my legs to play my matches.

Then I will smash your head.

Then what will you eat after marriage?

Then I will do one thing,

I will break your nose.

That's fine. You can break my nose.

At least, nothing will come between
us while we are kissing, right?

"My heart is feeling something new."

"I like spending time with you."

"I feel after getting you
what else do I need?"

"I feel after getting you
what else do I need?"

"I think what people call love."

"It must be like you."

"It must be like you."

"The one who poets
write poetry about."

"I think you are the same angel."

"It feels like I have won the world."

"Since you have come
and stood by my side."

"It feels like I too
will lose my peace."

"I think what people call love."

"It must be like you."

"It must be like you."

"It must be like you."

"You are my destination
and all roads lead to you."

"Every breath of my life
is dedicated to you."

"What do I need to go to a temple for?
What should I pray for?"

"All my prayers are dedicated to you."

"I must have done some
good deeds in my past life."

"I think what people call love."

"It must be like you."

"It must be like you."

"It must be like you."

So much is happening in the world.
The newspapers are full of news.

Jugnu, you have such bad luck.

I haven't got any spicy gossip today.

Oh, God!

Let some minister die a fake death.

Or let someone's daughter
run away from home.

Let someone's shop catch fire.

Otherwise, let this
car crash into a truck.

Baby doll.

Why is this beautiful woman
walking into Major's house?

Jugnu, here comes the news!

Go get it!

Greetings.

Greetings.

Did you recognize me?

Are you the Prime Minister
of this country

that everyone will recognize you?

It's not such a big deal.

I am famous in this area.

I am a famous journalist
and my name is Jugnu.

If you want then I can publish
a great interview of yours

and make you famous.

I don't give interviews to
nincompoop journalists like you.

Go from here.

-What is it?
-I will leave

but where are you headed?

You, fake journalist, don't
you even know this much

that star baby doll has
rented Major's house?

Get lost!

Here you go, Jugnu.

Your bottle has been arranged.

The lady gave great
news while leaving.

Let's go, Jugnu.

What nonsense are you talking?

Have you come drunk from home?

She lives in my house.

Colonel,

you may slap me twice again

but she lives at Major's house.

If your news is true at all

then just understand, that I will
renovate your old house and make it new.

And if what you are saying is a lie,

I will break your back light

that keeps twinkling
without batteries.

I accept.

Oh, Mother goddess,

I hope what Jugnu said is a lie.

Colonel, don't go back on your word now.

Keep your word.

Look.

There is my newly renovated house.

Jugnu has created trouble.

Yes!

Dad and Jugnu are watching.
Turn around.

Jugnu, you are such a scoundrel.

You want to run over
my heart with a JCB

and make a new house for yourself?

Which route is she taking?

She didn't enter Major's house.

All hail mother goddess!

Long live her true kingdom!

Now she is dancing around.

You scoundrel, are you such a useless
detective that you don't even know

that she has the
habit of sleep walking?

Colonel, she spoke to me herself.

You imbecile, a person
who can walk while sleeping,

can't they talk while sleeping?

Your back light didn't get fused

before accusing a cultured godly woman?

Where did you go?
You can't be saved today.

I will shoot you.

I am dead.

Baby doll has got me into trouble.

Where are you going?
Get your house renovated.

I am ready with all the
construction material.

Move aside, you cunning woman!

Colonel, shoot the new house,

I'll give you my old one too.

Why the house?
Shouldn't I shoot you instead?

Who lit the fireworks?

Did India win again?

I don't know if India has won or not

but I got saved today.

-Where am I?
-You are in my arms.

Have you adopted me?

She has thrown salt into the sweets.

How did we get here?

Since you told me that you
have the habit of sleep walking,

I have been following
you closely since then

so that you shouldn't
fall and hurt yourself.

Oh, my kitten.

Oh, my Baby.

Doll.

You almost got killed today, Jugnu.

You barely survived.

She is such a cunning woman.

Never mind, baby doll,

you have stepped on a snake's head.

I will bite you...

"Trouble!"

I admit that I am scared

but you shouldn't take undue
advantage of someone's weakness.

Get out!

Out!

If you trouble me

then I will pull off your rat-like
moustache and hand it to you.

You also know

that you look stylish because
of your rat-like moustache.

Thank you.

-When did you come?
-When you were praising my moustache.

No, no, I was...

Is he gone? Good.

Why are you standing? Come, sit.

On the closet?

No, no, no. On the couch.

By the way,
what are you doing up there?

Just cleaning things.

There is no need to give
so many clarifications.

Now we know each
other's weaknesses pretty well.

Come down.

-Baby.
-Doll.

My Google.

My YouTube.

-My WhatsApp.
-My Twitter.

Oh, my God, I have lost everything!
Jugnu has ruined me!

That scoundrel will malign my
honour in the entire town now.

What happened, doll?
Tell me what's wrong?

Major, I was bathing

and suddenly I saw a flash of light.

I thought lightning
has struck somewhere.

When I looked straight,

I saw that imbecile clicking
my pictures on his phone.

Now he will make an MMS and
make it go viral in the whole world.

It is better that you shoot me

than leading such a life.

Will you really shoot me now?

I will shoot

those eyes that
clicked your pictures.

Major!

Major, the photo that
I have brought for you,

when you see it,

you will get the shock of your life.

That picture is hers, isn't it?

-Yes.
-Oh, God!

This man has made my MMS.

Delete this picture immediately.

Major, at least see the picture
once before you get it deleted.

As soon as you see the picture,
your eyes will be wide open.

If you don't delete the picture

then I will shut your eyes

forever.

-I have deleted it.
-Major!

It can be saved in another folder too.

No.

Jugnu, smash that phone on
the ground and break it right now.

Otherwise, I will shoot you
in the chest.

I have already incurred
a loss now let this be.

Here! I have broken it!

Now it's your turn.

Don't shoot. Journalism will die!

-Leave me!
-Major!

I can do anything for your honour!

I am dead.

-Let it be.
-Move aside, Doll.

-Move.
-Baby doll!

If I don't show the world
your true colours

don't call me Jugnu!

I will have to do something.

Kidnap Jugnu?

No problem, son.

I will teach you all a lesson.

If I don't get you all imprisoned
for twenty years each,

don't call me Jugnu journalist.

And I will see how
brave you are then.

Is this how you behave with elders?

There is something called respect.

Go from here.

Bravo, you sly fox.

I understand this smooth
talk of yours very well.

Make Mr. Jugnu sit on the chair.

Do it!

Carefully.

I asked you to make him sit
not to throw him on the chair.

Jugnu, listen to me.

Go and talk to Colonel and Major.

I won't be influenced by you.

She thinks she is
such a smooth talker.

What do you think?

I came here for their bungalows
and bank balance?

I came here looking for true love.

I will settle down with the man

with whom I find true love.

Don't you have enough love?

They are both already drooling.

That is what you don't understand.

If there can be two,

why can't there be three?

Jugnu, have you ever
seen a hockey match?

There are twenty-two
players and one ball.

But only one scores the goals.

Is that so?

That means

-I can score too?
-Yes.

Only if Jugnu keeps twinkling.

Jugnu, give up your pen.

Grab the hockey.

Go and get ready for the match.

Now I will go for it.

I have handled things again this time

but this man cannot be trusted.

He can ruin our game at any time.

That is why do whatever
you have to do quickly.

Definitely.

I will reach there on time.

I won't be able to stay for long.

But I will definitely come.

Okay. Bye.

Brother, hurry up
and do what you need to.

If my boss finds out

that I haven't put the tents for
spiritual gathering until now

-I will lose my job.
-Yes.

Don't worry.

Take this money.

-Give it to me.
-They are asking for money too.

I will pay them.

Listen, come here.

-Everyone, come here.
-Everyone, come.

-Major!
-May God rest his soul!

Idiots, don't say that.

He is still alive.

-Long live!
-Major!

-Long live!
-Major!

-Long live!
-Major!

-Long live!
-Major!

Come, Sir. Welcome.

Thank you.

Arjun, what are you doing here?

He is the president of our club.

-Really?
-He is the honour of our club.

He is a very hard-working
and decent boy.

He is very warm in nature.

He is extremely wise and talented.

Alright. What is this
blood donation camp for?

We are not at war with anyone.

We don't want any wars to take place.

We just want everything
to be sorted peacefully.

The power that is present
in love is not there in war.

Do you see? He says such wise things.

That's enough. Hurry up.

I don't have much time.

Applause!

-Come, Sir.
-Come, Uncle.

Come on. Come on.

Meet him.

He donates blood every time.

But the special thing about him is

that he has donated
his precious eyes too.

Where is he?

-Come, Sir.
-Is he here?

Slowly.

-Take it easy.
-Take it all.

Take as much as you want.

A bottle won't make
a difference to me.

You may take a cannister full of blood.

Which coloured blood is this?

Why are you taking
this poor guy's blood?

It's not like poor people
have any blood left in them.

The politicians have sucked it all.

Come, Sir.

Okay, Son. Good job.

Well done!

Yes.

Arjun! You did great!

I hadn't seen this
side of yours until now.

You won my dad's heart.

You impressed my dad.

Dad? If your dad's dad was here,

I would have impressed him too.

You haven't seen Jatt's expertise yet.

-I am great at acting! Great!
-Great!

"We are having the time of our lives."

"We are having the time of our lives."

Dad?

-Dad.
-Well done, Simran.

Simran...

daughters are the crown
of their father's head.

They are the honour of his turban.

But today you have maligned your
dad's honour in other people's feet.

-Dad...
-Don't you dare call me dad after today.

Or else you will see my dead face.

Come on.

Is this what you have taught your child?

What would have happened
if you hadn't given birth to him?

Stop talking nonsense!
What has he done?

You keep sitting indoors all day long.

If you go out then you'll find out
what your filthy offspring is up to!

Mind your language!

I am in control of my language.

Keep your bull under control

whom you have left
to roam around freely.

What has he done to you

that you are screaming so much?

After forbidding him so much,

he has tried to influence
my daughter again today.

Now this is my last warning for you.

If he tries to malign my honour again

then just understand

that he will definitely
go from this house

but he won't return.

Whatever nonsense
he is talking is it true?

I am asking you, is it true?

What is this?

Your payment.

Thank you.

You are an outsider and yet you
supported us more than our family.

But nothing can be done now.

I have lost.

Maybe Simran is not in my destiny.

Wait, Arjun.

Baby doll accepts her payment
only after her play ends.

And I have another rule.

I don't leave any job incomplete.

You may lose, Arjun.

But I won't.

As long as I am behind the
steering wheel of your car,

you don't need to worry.

I will only rest after I take
you to your destination.

Now watch, how Baby doll's secret weapon

creates an upheaval in their lives.

Why are you being
irritable like this, Baby doll?

Why? Is it irritable
to go visit one's mom?

You didn't tell me ever
that you have a mom too.

No. I have a cow.

I was born after two calves.

Why? Can't I have a mom?

Instead of going so far,
why don't you call your cow...

I mean call your mom here.

No, I have to go there
and fulfil my mom's dream.

What such dream does your mom have

which can only be fulfilled there?

My mom wants to see my babies.

Before marriage?

I am not the kind of a girl

to have babies without marriage.

Doll.

Baby, Baby, Baby.

Baby.

This is strange.

Today my Baby didn't say Doll.

It's not like someone loves
me that I should answer.

Do you still suspect
that I don't love you?

What will I do with such love?

That which cannot be fulfilled,

it's better to give a
beautiful turn and leave it.

Let Simran get married.

After that, everything is possible.

This just means

that I should keep waiting.

When will you find a boy for Simran?

When will she get engaged?
When will she get married?

By then, my mom will be gone.

By the way, why are you in
such a hurry to get married?

I am not in a hurry.

The birth of my babies
is getting delayed.

But only if I can find a boy.

You have to find one
if you have lost one.

Our Arjun is there.

Arjun? That Colonel's son?

Colonel will take a wedding
procession to the Major's house?

I won't even go to his
house if someone dies.

Alright then. I am going to my
house and you can stay in your house.

Baby.

So this is the problem.

Then listen to my few words
before you leave too, Baby doll.

Whether you like it or not,

Colonel Shamsher is saying...

yes for this marriage.

What?

-My Sheru.
-My Baby.

You have given me a
great joy in life today.

And on this happy occasion,

I too feel

that...

I should give you something.

Love letter?

I have written it for you.

No!

Read it later.

I feel shy.

-Good morning, Sir.
-Good morning, Sir.

A very good morning.

Sir, we have brought
this wedding card for you.

Card?

Oh! Arjun's wedding?

Very good.

But why didn't Arjun come himself?

And his mom should
have come with him as well.

Sir, Aunty asked us
to tell you something.

Tell me.

Sir, the person you met that day,

"Who's the prettiest of them all?"

"Our Baby doll."

"Let's get the party on."

"With our Baby doll."

I have understood everything.

Give ma'am my message that I
will definitely come for the wedding.

Thank you, Sir.

Let's go.

Now it will be fun.

Not only is she is beautiful

but also single.

Greetings, Uncle.

Greetings,

Arjun.

Sweety.

Hi.

Sweety...

I can't believe that you have come.

Your wedding and I won't be present,

can that ever happen?

Thank you so much.

So?

Will you keep hugging only the girls?

We are also standing here.

Raj.

Won't you forgive me
on this happy occasion?

We will have the time of our lives.

Baby.

Doll.

You are looking smoking hot.

You look like a bomb too.

If that is true then let's
bang into each other

and explode.

Billa, how can a nail be
popping out in your presence?

Let me fix it first. What if the
principal comes and sits on it?

-Oh no!
-Brother, you are not hurt, are you?

Wait! I will tell you!

Hello.

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-Bring me some coke.
-Finish this first.

The food is someone else's
but the stomach is yours.

You, fool.

No matter how full a bus is,

the conductor always
finds a way through it.

I don't even spare the
final right's processions.

This is a wedding. Put it all here.

He is talking nonsense. Keep it here.

Drink it all. He is a hungry fool.

You are looking very stylish today.

I don't have the panache like you do.

I am just obeying you.

You order me

and I do as you say.

Major!

Yes. I am coming.

Excuse me. I will be right back.

Okay.

What are you doing here.

"Aunts are singing along with mom."

"I've heard that God
makes unions himself."

"I've heard that God
makes unions himself."

"I will sacrifice everything over God."

"He has heard the prayers in my heart."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I will fulfil all your wishes."

"I have put flowers
on your favourite car."

"I will fulfil all your wishes."

"I have put flowers
on your favourite car."

"Keep smiling, my love.
My soul feels happy when I see you."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I have kept servants to serve you."

"Jatt has made a
lavish bungalow for you."

"I have kept servants to serve you."

"Jatt has made a
lavish bungalow for you."

"I will shower you with diamonds."

"I will make you the queen of my heart."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"I must have done some
good deeds in the past life."

"That is why I got you, my love."

"A man went to fetch some things."

"He fetched some grass."

"The boy's dad is full of excitement."

"The girl's dad is full of excitement."

But how will we know

how excited they are?

We can only know

when they dance and sing!

That's thuth.

Uncle, let's do it today.

Let's have a beautiful song.

What? He will sing a romantic song?

He only knows one line.

Turn left, turn right.

Attention or tension.

Okay then, Uncle. You do some Bhangra.

He will do Bhangra?
He only learnt two things in life.

PT in the morning
and rum in the evening.

This evening is dedicated to dads!

A big round of applause
for both of them.

Because you insist,
I will recite a few lines

that are very dear to my heart.

And those few lines were written by

someone very special only for me.

Here comes trouble.

She has written

if you like to drink,

-I will become sour soda.
-Bravo, Uncle.

Wow.

If you like to drink,

I will become sour soda.

I will become a shining
light in your dark nights.

-Wow.
-Wow.

If you are a hill of hot sand,

I will rain down on you like a cloud.

If you are sleeping on thorns,

I will become a bed of flowers for you.

-Wow, Major.
-Wow.

Only for the sake of your love,

I will hang to death.

If you close your eyes and remember me,

I will come and stand
in front of your eyes.

-Uncle, is that all?
-No.

There is one last line.

And that is, this wedding cannot happen!

If you don't agree to this wedding

then I am not dying
for it to happen either.

My fingers aren't so easily
available too, Major Ranveer

that they should be eager to wear a
tight ring given by a hard-hearted man.

Come on, Simran.

-Come on, Arjun.
-One minute.

Stop.

I admit,

I admit that I hurt your feelings.

I flirted, I deceived.

But do consider who I did it for.

For your own children

and their true love.

But what would you know what love is?

Love is a blessing of God

for which every man yearns.

These kids have just one fault

that they were born in those families

where you both hate each other

for the sake of your fake egos.

What do you think that
if the hen doesn't crow

the morning won't come?

If you don't say yes then
this wedding won't happen?

Come, Arjun. Come, Simran.

Stop.

No.

I can't do this.

I have made many mistakes in life.

But I won't make such a huge mistake.

I have already lost my mom in childhood.

I can't lose my dad too.

Simran,

don't misunderstand me.

I love you a lot

but not more than my dad's happiness.

Arjun, nothing is more important
to me than my dad's happiness too.

Dad, there was a time

when people used to give
examples of your friendship.

And when and how that
friendship turned into enmity

even we don't know that.

Ask him. He signed on my court-martial.

-Did I sign?
-Yes, you did.

I admit that I was the
presiding officer of your case

but why can't your dumb
brain understand

that while you were
getting Court-martialled,

Arjun's mom was on her deathbed.

I was with her in the hospital
because I was on leave.

You were on leave?

Yes, I was on leave!

And even if I wasn't on leave,

if I was a member of your court-martial

and if your mistake had been proven

then I would have been the
first one to sign on that decision.

Because a mistake made in the
army whether knowingly or unknowingly

is not acceptable.

-Let's go, dad.
-Wait.

I am not finished yet.

Daughter,

I have never ignored
Arjun's choice in bungalows,

dogs or cars.

So how will I leave
the girl of his choice?

Bravo.

Yes!

Colonel,

Major Ranveer Singh

is not worthy of shaking hands with you.

His selfish thinking forgot

that there is something above
friendship and relationships and family.

And that is patriotism
and the love for one's country.

Colonel,

I salute your thinking.

Bravo.

Wow.

Get married as soon as you can.

Who knows when these senile
old men may change their minds?

"There is no dearth of anything.
We have no sorrow."

"Pockets are full of money
and all moments are wonderful."

"We are always full of joy."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

There is only one of
me and so many suitors.

How can I make everyone happy?

For now, please, keep your love letters.

-Why is that?
-Because we have understood

that artists are not loyal to anyone.

-What?
-I mean they belong to everyone.

Attention!

"Even if there is stress,
we don't ever worry."

Will I get a chance too?

Players get a chance

not spares.

"Even if there is stress,
we don't ever worry."

"We don't hear bad from anyone
and we don't say bad things to anyone."

"The wires to our hearts are
linked with fun."

So what happened with me is
all my suitors are crazy.

None of them are wise.

I am here, aren't I?

You scoundrel, I have seen a
bald Shahrukh Khan for the first time.

"We are having
the time of our lives."

"The time of our lives."

Doll,

will I keep hammering
nails my whole life?

-Billa.
-Yes?

-Do you have wood at home?
-Yes, I do.

-Do you have a nail?
-Yes, I do.

Then you scoundrel, keep
hitting the nails with the hammer.

"We get whatever we want.
What else should we ask God for?"

Dad, pull up the pant string.

Yours!

"We get whatever we want.
What else should we ask God for?"

"We may get upset. But we
don't think bad about our friends."

"My friends are my life.
I will sacrifice my life for them."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

"We are having
the time of our lives."

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