Original subtitles

There you are.

Here I am.

Are you going to sit?

Good idea.

Oh, here.

Aw.

Sorry about the other night.

Is this a gesture? Sort of.

To tell you the truth it wasn't my idea.

It's a nice idea.

Shall we move on from the other night?

Oh, yeah. I'd like that more than I can say.

Although I am just saying.

Would you like a drink? I thought you'd never ask.

Frank Hathaway I am arresting you on suspicion of murder.

What? You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned

something you later rely on in court. This is ridiculous!

Anything you do say may be given as evidence.

LOUD SNAP

How long is this going to take?

We're taking witness statements from everyone. You're not special.

OK, let's begin.

Why were you here last night?

I was on a hike.

You don't seem to be much of a hiker, Frank.

You don't seem to be much of a copper.

SILLY VOICE: What you going to do?

When did you last see the victim alive?

Last night.

When? I can't remember.

You can't remember?

No.

Okey dokey.

Well, let's start with what you can remember,

and let's play a little game, shall we?

Let's pretend that you're a detective

and you're really good at what you do.

Dare I ask? Just some flowers I got from...

Oh, yoga.

Don't let it go to your head. Ha-ha!

The headstand is the king of yoga exercises, actually.

It improves brain function.

And gives a whole new world view.

Nah, I don't do exercise.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

MIMICS FRANK:Exercise is bad for your health.

Why, thank you!

Er, where's our coffee?

PHONE NOTIFICATION DING For god's sake.

Leave me alone!

Frank, I know it's a new phone

but you still have to answer it for it to work.

I'm being spammed. That's five times today already.

Give it here. I'll block the number.

Thumb... Oh.

My old phone was much better. Your old phone was wind up.

I can't even fit that in my shoe.

What?

This is not spam. This is a job offer.

"I want to employ you to walk Shakespeare's Way

"to detect a crime yet to be committed. Respond urgently."

What's Shakespeare's Way?

It's this stupid walk to find the forest of Arden,

one I certainly won't be setting foot on.

"How much?"

Give me the phone back. It's spam. I don't do walking.

And I certainly don't do anonymous cases.

PHONE DINGS £10,000.

"Accept the offer in the next 60 seconds

"to receive a £5,000 retainer."

See? Spam.

Accept, accept. Don't! Hey, no!

"I accept."

Are you going to have a little sulk?

Are you going to cry a little bit? Well, I hate you both.

He doesn't mean that.

We're the only family he has. Without us, he's nothing.

PHONE DINGS

GASPS

What? Anonymous have just popped £5,000 into our account.

Ker-chinga-boom.

Now I really hate you both.

Five grand to go on a hike?

I'm in the wrong profession.

I'm saying nothing.

What happened next?

Another text.

"Meet the next morning by Shakespeare's church."

Blah, blah, blah.

I was to join a hike

run by a company called Swift Foot Walks.

It was going to be a two...

It was going to be a two...

SCRIBBLES FURIOUSLY

It was going to be a two day trip,

accommodation provided.

Now, during this hike

a crime would be committed.

And if I was to receive my final payment,

I had to try and work out who did it.

So, what did you do? What could I do?

I said I wanted to look the part, not look a prat.

There's only so much one can do.

What the hell are walking poles, anyway? It's just more to carry.

You think you've got problems. Check out six O'clock.

Huh? Behind you.

Oh, dear god. Get their names.

Yeah, thank you, Doctor Watson, I have done this before you know.

Hello, there. Are you here for the walk?

Yes. I'm Frank, Frank Hathaway.

Dr Ben Yang. Oh, Dr Ben Yang.

My wife, Doctor Chen Yang.

Chen's fine. Chen's fine.

Hathaway, you say. Like Shakespeare's wife, eh?

Come again?

Why are you not in costume?

Well, I didn't know it was compulsory.

I must say, though, you are looking good.

Not many people can pull off woolly tights in summer.

CHURCH CLOCK CHIMES

Love...

Good work. Shut up.

Who is that?

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

No idea. She's pretty though. Hm?

Well, can't say that I'd noticed, really.

Oh? Stop dribbling, then.

Wha...?

Swift Foot Walks?

Er no, I'm Frank, Frank Hathaway.

I'm just a punter. Yeah, and you are?

HORN BEEPS

Hello, there.

Hi. Well, I'm Julian.

Sorry I'm late. Is this everyone?

We seem to be missing, er...

Beverley.

Julian.

I didn't know you, er...

Nor did I.

So, Beverley and Julian knew each other?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

They were both surprised

cos Beverley had booked under her maiden name - Sinclair.

And who was the woman in the graveyard?

Er, she was called Summer Stiles.

She's a physio.

Anyone else? No, that was the lot.

Julian loaded our overnight bags into the van,

gave us our lunches and the obligatory spiel.

So, Shakespeare died from a night out on the lash

with his mates, Drayton and Johnson.

Lesson to be learnt? Beware the perils of mead.

Actually, it's more likely he died

of a particularly virulent strain of Typhus.

Excuse my husband,

he does like to bang on about the Bard.

Look, I reckon we're lucky to have a Shakespearian scholar with us.

Good on ya, mate.

Off you go, meet out in the exit.

ZOOM LENS WHIRS

Now, your phones.

Our phones? Devices for calling people.

Pop them in here.

You're going to walk Shakespeare's Way, Shakespeare's way. Sans phones.

Uh-oh.

Sans phones is perfect.

Don't worry you'll get it back. Promise.

Go on, off you pop.

Follow these. The whole route is waymarked.

We're right next to the obelisk. You can't miss us.

See you there. And have fun!

Woo!

Brilliant...

See ya.

BIRDSONG

Thanks so much.

It is like in Shakespearean times. Yes.

Oh, there's a tree. Look at that massive tree.

Jeez... Just walk.

Just walk.

Oh, that this too too solid flesh would melt or

and resolve itself into a dew. Stop it!

DUCKS QUACK

BREATHLESSLY: Oh. Hm.

OK?

Oh, yeah, just, you know?

Hoo, just enjoying the scenery.

It's quite breathtaking, isn't it?

Apparently.

Are you married?

Nosey.

I think you probably were,

but you've not met the right person.

Oh, is that right?

What about you?

Oh, I haven't been looking.

Ooo, erm,

let's, erm, eat over there,

it's a way better view.

Yeah, that's a cracking idea.

OK, I'll tell Beverley.

HE PANTS

Oh...

Ah, I told you. Look at that...

Yeah. I've seen better from lower.

THEY LAUGH

Where is everyone?

The Yangs are arguing, and Beverley's peeing. I'm look out.

Oh. So, don't look! Don't look, no...

No lookies, no.

Oh, you're burning.

Yeah, no...

Oh, thanks. Yeah.

Ooo.

I'm going to smell like a tossed salad. You know, a posh one!

You're funny.

IN YOKEL VOICE: Well, I tries me best.

Are we eating? I'm starving.

A lady after my own heart.

I was about to eat my own hand.

No, I'm not, they like it. No, they don't.

Yeah, they like it. Stop it. I'm funny.

No, you're not funny. You're far from it.

This blessed plot,

this Earth, this realm,

this England!

Good health to you and to all who sail in you.

Drink to the freedoms of pleasure,

opportunity and youth.

Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm just going to have my porkpie.

Oh...

Ah, how shall summer's honey breath

hold out against the wrackful siege of battering days.

Can I tempt you with a sip?

I'm good, thanks.

Dr Yang, wasn't making friends, was he?

He was an idiot. His wife saved the day, though.

How?

Well, from then on

everything went nuts.

What's wrong with her?

She's having a reaction - probably something she ate.

My wife, eminent surgeon, saveth the day. Yet again.

It's not in here, Beverley...

It must be. It's always in there.

Control your breathing.

I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Ben, give me your bag.

Dost thou think because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more

cakes and ale? I need the adrenaline pen, you idiot.

My husband has allergies, too,

so we're going to use his pen to buy us time.

We need to let Julian know.

We don't have our phones.

Someone could run ahead. Not me.

I could? Go.

Stand not upon the order of your going but go at once!

So, Chen injected Beverley and Summer ran off. What then?

Well, Chen said the adrenaline would only last for a while,

so we pushed on.

TIGHT UNEASY BREATHING

DISTANT CRY:Help!

Help!

Help!

What happened? She's about to go into anaphylactic shock.

Call an ambulance. I can't.

Give us our phones back then.

There's no signal here. We're in a dead zone.

Where's Summer? I don't know.

I haven't seen any of you since you left.

The van won't start and the landline's dead.

We're trapped.

So, what did you do? Came in here.

Chen asked Julian to search Beverley's overnight bag

which was over there.

He found her spare medication and Chen treated her.

And she made a miraculous recovery?

I don't know. Why?

Because I'd already gone.

Summer!

HE PANTS

Summer!

DISTANT CRY:Help me!

I'm here!

PAINED CRIES

Oh... Ow!

Help!

SHE GROANS

Help.

Summer. Summer...

I fell. I hurt my ankle.

I thought I was... I'm here now, it's all right, it's OK.

That's pretty much it.

What? What do you mean, "Pretty much it"?

What happened to Summer? To Beverley?

What happened last night?

It's...

..hazy.

Come on, Frank. You've got to do better than this.

Right well, we came back.

Beverly had sort of recovered,

so I went in the shower.

And when I came back down, the mood had changed.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Slow down. Keep up or shut up.

Men at some time are masters of their fates.

The fault, dear Brutus,

lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.

Oh, Summer's honey breath

let us make Bacchus blush.

Dance with me. Oh, no, I can't...

Who his spoil of beauty can forbid? Leave her alone, will you?

Leave her alone! SUMMER SCREAMS

That's the last thing I can remember until...

No. It's not true!

What's happened?

Excuse me, madam, who are you?

Beverley Sinclair. Who are you?

Detective Sergeant Keeler.

I'll be needing to interview all of you.

Why? What's going on?

Ben's missing.

And a dog walker discovered a body early this morning.

I took these at the crime scene.

As you can see, it was a frenzied attack.

Initial findings from the pathologist say he was struck

with something and then stamped on.

Stamped on?

Footprints all over his body.

Looks like a trainer to me.

Any of that jog your memory?

Why would it?

Well, we discovered this near the body.

Have you seen it before?

No, that's ridiculous. What would his motive be?

Listen, if you're not going to charge him,

then I demand that you release him. Lu...

Otherwise, I'm going to get a solicitor down there

and she's going to get medieval on your sorry little... Lu!

Oh, hello, you're here.

Yeah, they were just taking my statement.

They took everybody's statement. Right.

You've got no shoes on.

Yeah, I know.

Take me home.

Er, thank you. It's all sorted. Bye.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Oh, hello. Good morning.

I told you exercise was bad for you.

I bought coffee.

And I bought doughnuts.

Thanks.

Oh, come on, cheer up.

We all know this has got nothing to do with you.

Anyone could have picked up your walking pole. Keeler knows that.

Keeler knows someone on that walk murdered Ben. I was on the walk.

This is just another job and we will work the suspects,

just like we always do.

Starting with the victim's wife, Ms Chen.

What if it was me?

What if I did it and I can't remember?

Well, then we'd inherit the business, wouldn't we, eh?

And it would be Shakespeare and Brudie. Brudoo.

Brudenell. Brudenell.

PHONE NOTIFICATION CHIME

"Anonymous."

"Worked it out yet?" This is perfect.

What? Cos it's proof.

It's evidence, eh? "Anonymous" is not as clever as they think.

Oh. What's happening?

It's disappearing. The messages are disappearing. Make it stop.

I can't. It won't... Ah, no.

Please tell me they haven't all gone.

They haven't all gone.

They've gone, haven't they?Yep.

Doughnut?

Thank you for seeing us.

We realise this must be a difficult time for you.

So people keep saying. You had questions?

Yes, we're just trying to work out why everyone was on the walk.

It was our wedding anniversary.

Ben won a competition, some online thing.

It was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime.

Trip of a lifetime?

Our marriage wasn't the best.

It was our counsellor's idea.

Too little too late, I thought, but I gave it a go.

LOUD SLURP

Did either of you know anyone else on the walk?

No. I was dreading it.

I thought it would be full of middle-aged bores. No offence.

None taken.

But in actual fact I met some good people.

Yeah, it feels like my metatarsal. Get it X-rayed.

Get you two. Is there a doctor in the house?

Oh, I'm just a lowly physio.

And I'm just a lowly teaching assistant

but I'm glad you're both here.

And I'm very glad to be alive.

Thank you both muchly.

Ugh. Boring water.

I was really looking forward to a fun night.

Ooo, you single then?

Divorced. Best thing I ever did. You?

Oh, I married a wonderful man that I lost too early.

But park the sympathy.

I'm doing fine. More than fine. I'm moving on.

To moving on! Moving on.

You OK?

I need to move on. I can't remember the last time I had any fun.

I can't say the same for him.

Really?

No proof, but you know, don't you?

Men are scum.

Divorce him.

Or kill him. Whichever comes easiest.

So, he was unfaithful?

I think so.

He had a thing for younger women.

Oh, sorry, I meant, it's just I saw how he was with Summer.

And I saw how you were with Summer.

Do you have a thing for younger women?

LOUD SLURP

So...? What?

Ha! Don't "what" me.

How were you with Summer?

I'm not talking about it.

Are you going to open this or what? I don't think I am.

We...got on.

On? Yeah, on.

HE GROANS

Ohhh...

See you at breakfast, Sailor.

Heeeey!

Francis Hathaway... And on the job, as well.

That's just it.

I can't remember.

And if I can't remember that, what else can't I remember?

Well, let's find out. Summer is next on the list.

Will, will you talk to her?

I think I'd be better off talking to Beverley.

Yeah, sure.

Can I help?

Oh. You are home.

Sorry. Takes me an age to do anything on these.

Come in.

Hello, I'm Lu Shakespeare,

Frank's partner.

Oh, I didn't know he had a partner.

Oh, no. Not that kind of partner.

No, we're not... Business partner.

We're detectives.

Frank's a detective?

Yeah. Didn't he say?

No.

Oh.

How is he?

To be honest, he's a bit embarrassed.

Ahh. He, er, he told you?

Only in a professional capacity, obviously, no details.

Nothing, you know...

He doesn't really remember much.

He remembers getting hit.

Yeah, defending my honour.

Oh, Ben was a right...

Frank said "idiot." He was. Even his wife thought so.

She let rip at him and he stormed off into the rain.

Did anyone follow him? I don't know.

I was upstairs by then.

HE GROANS

Are woo waffing at me?

I'd never "waff" at you.

Ow! Oh...

Sleep well.

Don't go. Pwease.

All right, I'll stay wiv woo.

Fank qwoo. Aw...

Did you spend the whole night together?

We slept for some of it.

Oh.

Lovely, that's great.

Good for you.

How did you come to be on the walk?

I won a competition.

I can't remember entering it, though.

The prize just popped up in my inbox.

I guess it was through a soul destroyer site.

A what?

You know, a dating site.

Apparently, there's not a lot of men who want a relationship

with a middle-aged divorced teaching assistant.

You got along with Julian, though?

Oh, that's different. We had history.

How do you mean?

We were close once,

but I was married,

and he was noble and he backed right off.

My marriage imploded shortly after

and I'd realised I'd given the best years of my life

to a man I couldn't stand.

What happened to Julian?

He went back to Australia.

I never really got over him.

What even though he tried to kill you?

Packed lunch? Peanut allergy?

There's no way in a million years Julian did that.

He knows I've got an allergy.

But he's not going to mess up his new business, is he?

Thumb, please. This one. See?

It looks like an ordinary message app. It isn't.

You can send or delete messages whenever you want.

I didn't download that.

That's not the point. The point is, it's on your phone.

That's why the texts disappeared.

How did it get there?

No idea. But I do know why Frank was offered money to go on the hike.

Why?

This is your private email account.

The clue is in the title. How did you get in there?

It's password protected.

Well, "BIG BOY 1,"

don't write the password down and leave it in your desk drawer.

In your spam folder, I found, amongst other things,

numerous unanswered emails informing you that you'd won

the competition with Swift Foot Walks.

Hence the last ditch attempt to get you onboard with money.

So, it wasn't a random group.

Somebody wanted to get us to Swift Foot Barn. Why?

We need to speak to Julian.

Er, can you do that?

Why?

Well, I'm busy.

With what?

I've got a date.

LOUD THUD

Ow.

There you go.

She loves you, she loves you not.

No, she'll love you.

No, she won't. I look like an idiot.

But a dashing idiot. She'll appreciate the gesture.

SIREN WAILS

No, I can't do it. I'll save it as back up. Now go!

Good luck. Get stuffed.

DISTANT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIOS

Hello? Oh, Hello.

Hi, who are you?

I'm Lu Shakespeare, I'm Frank's partner.

Oh, I didn't know he had a...

Oh, no, I'm not...

I don't know why everyone thinks...

We're detectives.

I just wondered if I could come and ask you a few questions?

Oh, right. Come, join me.

Sit down. Help me finish off the mead.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

I saw what happened to Frank.

Oh, he's a lightweight.

This is just supermarket IPA.

Didn't have time to make the real deal -

probably why I'm getting it in the neck.

What do you mean?

One-star review napalm.

The near death peanut disaster.

The actual death disaster.

No Wi-Fi.

And my personal favourite, "Stay Here If You Want To Die."

Boom. Goodbye business.

Who do you think posted them?

HE SIGHS

If he wasn't dead, I'd say Ben.

I hate myself sometimes.

No wonder she does.

Mate, you're over thinking.

And slow down - mead's strong stuff.

This isn't mead.

It's pish.

In fact, your whole business is pish.

You jumped on the Shakespeare bandwagon to make money.

If I had my way, nobody would ever stay here again.

No point in fearing the dead though, eh?

So, I guess it was Beverley dropping bombs. I did nearly kill her.

I don't think so.

She told Frank you wouldn't make a mistake like that

in a million years.

Did she? Yeah. Hm.

Was Beverley the reason you came back from Australia?

What? No.

Maybe.

But you didn't know she was going on the walk. No.

So, you didn't set up the online competition?

No, that was Red Jewel Promotions?

Yeah, they did it. So, you had nothing to do with it?

I'm Mr Practical, build anything me.

But publicity? All that tech stuff? Just doesn't interest me.

When Red Jewel popped up, offering their services,

I bit their hand off.

Three months ago, Red Jewel Promotions didn't even exist.

It's like it was set up purely to get people on the walk.

Right, do we know who's behind it?

I looked up the company info.

Red Jewel Promotions is registered under the name Frank Hathaway.

What?! He's being set up.

PHONE RINGS

Shakespeare and Hathaway, how may I help you?

Oh, right?

Right?

Right...

Right?

Frank's been arrested for murder.

Forensics discovered that the footprints surrounding

and covering the body of the victim are a perfect match

for your trainers.

They were by the door of the barn. Anyone could have used them.

Blood found on your trainers

and your walking pole has been confirmed as that of the victim.

Like I said, anyone could have used them.

We also found traces of your blood on your walking pole

indicating a struggle occurred between you and the victim.

Well, that didn't happen.

Well...it did, but earlier on. Is that so?

For the benefit of the tape, I am now showing Mr Hathaway

a phone, exhibit reference JK13.

Please, could you open it with your thumbprint.

The messages I received disappeared. I told you.

Actually, we're after a message you sent.

This one.

For the benefit of the tape,

the message reads "Meet me at the obelisk."

The exact same message we found on

the victim's phone recovered by his body.

I didn't write that. How could I? There was no signal.

You don't need signal to send a Bluetooth message.

You just need someone willing to accept it.

Why would Ben accept a message from me?

He hit me.

Why would he meet ME at the obelisk?

He wouldn't. But you can name your phone whatever you want.

And you knew exactly what to name yours to make him come running.

Very clever.

But you always thought that you were cleverer

than everyone else, didn't you, Frank?

7.93 an hour.

Is it usually this hard?

Pff... Usually we have Frank.

Oh... Remind me never to do yoga again.

This is all wrong. What is?

You. Upside down. A new world view.

These aren't suspects.

They're all victims.

Frank...is up for murder.

Summer could have died at the quarry.

Julian - probably going to lose his business.

Beverley nearly died. Ben did die.

And Chen lost her husband.

They're not suspects - they're all victims.

So we are missing someone.

Someone we haven't even considered yet.

Who?

I have no idea.

But the walk, the walk is the common link,

so we need to get back to Swift Foot Barn.

Probably tomorrow now.

Well, it's just that,

we know what made you come back from Australia,

but we wondered what made you go?

Was that to do with Beverley too?

Partly. But I'd also just quit my business.

Oh, right. What was your business?

Security. I installed high-tech alarms.

OK. It's just yesterday you said that high-tech stuff

wasn't really your thing.

Oh, yeah, no, it isn't. No, I just installed the kit.

My business partner Michael, he did the tech.

TOILET FLUSHES UPSTAIRS

Where's Michael now?

I don't know, mate.

You sure about that?

He's sure.

Neither of us know or care where he is.

Michael Reynolds - a drunk, a gambler, my husband.

He was not a nice man.

I should have stayed.

I should have come when you asked.

What made you leave the business?

Money was going missing.

I suspected Michael was stealing it to pay his debts.

And I confronted him, but he denied it.

So you went to Australia. What happened to him?

He went to prison.Prison?

After I divorced him, the police caught him stealing

from some of the companies he installed alarms for.

He got jailed for five years.

I wonder how the police found out. I don't know.

I tipped them off.

I was angry...

..and...and a little heartbroken, if I'm honest.

I'm sorry.

You've got nothing to apologise for.

Well...Michael sounds like an angry man.

He's angry with his ex-business partner, angry with his ex-wife.

This is all about revenge.

Here we are - Michael Reynolds held at Avonford Prison,

but released early!

It's Michael. We go to Keeler, we get Frank out.

Well, hang on, first we need to confirm the theory.

And we were just wondering if the name Michael Reynolds

meant anything to you?

He was a patient of mine.

He was? Right.

Do you remember anything about him?

Some cases you don't forget.

I operated on Michael when he'd fallen from a roof.

It was touch-and-go, multiple bleeds.

I managed to save him, but he ended up paralysed.

Woohoo! He's here! Here he is!

What are you looking so pleased about?

PARTY POPPER POPS

You're a free man!

Oh, cheer up, you miserable sod. We just got you out!

How did you link me to Michael Reynolds?

Julian.

He was the one who gave the police the anonymous tip-off.

Ah, of course.

I was the one that caught Michael stealing from the warehouse.

I chased him, but he was drunk and fell off the roof.

But you were the last piece in the puzzle.

All we've got to do now is find Michael...

Michael's dead. He died three months ago.

Complications of the brain injury.

He got an early release from prison on compassionate grounds.

But that doesn't make sense.

Michael was the only one with a motive.

But not the opportunity.

Well, if it wasn't him, then why did Keeler let you go?

Two reasons.

The time difference between when Ben was murdered

and he received that Bluetooth message from my phone

is four hours after he'd died.

And two -

the only person on that hike who Michael didn't want revenge on

was the one he fell in love with, the physio at the prison.

SHE HUMS

Hello!

Frank! You're out.

Well, in the words of the great Billy Joel,

"I am an innocent man. Oh, yes, I am."

That's fantastic.

You must be so relieved.

Maybe.

Hm...

So, how's the foot, then?

Oh! Getting better.

Right. You won't be needing that, then.

Oh, it's not that bad!

Come on, let's get a drink. We need to celebrate.

To moving on. Indeed.

Mm!

Oh!

Oh! SHE LAUGHS

Ha.

It's a nice place.

Oh, it's a bit small, hence the studio in the garage.

Yeah, I suppose, yeah.

It's not ideal for someone in a wheelchair.

Sorry?

Your husband, Michael.

It must have been a bit of a squeeze for him those last few months.

How did you find out?

You were the physio at Avonford Prison.

Got married to him a few days before he died.

Must have been sad.

Come on.

Harder than killing someone?

Whose plan was it?Both of ours.

Why didn't you walk away when he died?

None of this had to happen.

You took from Michael, I took from you.

You all got what you deserved.

That's not quite right, though, is it?

Beverley was supposed to die too.

You took the adrenaline pen out of her rucksack

when she was having a wee.

She'd already used your sunscreen.

You laughed at me when I said I smelt like a posh tossed salad.

What did you put in the sunscreen?

Peanut oil.

Clever.

You ran on to the barn, disconnected the phones, disabled Julian's van,

then you doubled back, and faked your own injury.

How am I doing?

But you didn't realise that Ben had a peanut allergy, did you?

Cos you were focused on Chen.

When she got that adrenaline pen out of her husband's bag,

you must have been livid.

I was. And you could still have walked away.

I wanted her to suffer too.

She took my husband. I was going to take hers.

How did you, um...?

How did you...?

Kill Ben? I slipped out.

It was easy to get him to meet me at the obelisk.

He didn't even notice I was wearing your trainers

and carrying your hiking pole in the bloodied towel I'd taken from you.

He cried when I hit him.

He was innocent.

He was a letchy old man, just like you!

HE GASPS AND GROANS

Careful, Frank.

Michael's medication is VERY strong.

The only reason I was in bed with you

was because I couldn't find your phone.

Who keeps their phone in a shoe?

Safest place for it.

I...I really liked you.

Oh...! I know!

Everyone saw how much you did.

That's why they'll believe me when I tell them that you came

to my house drunk, and when I refused you...

..you attacked me.

I'm in fear of my life.

Just so you know, even in a wheelchair,

Michael was twice the man you could ever be!

Summer Stiles, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder!

Get off! Get her out of here.

Are you OK?

Oh, nighty-night, Summer! Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Go to hell!

Ooh! That's not nice, is it? HE CHUCKLES

Oh! Oh...

How's he doing? Yes, he's a little bit, um...

Ooh, haha!

IMITATES KEELER: Joseph Keeler! HE LAUGHS

Oh, come on...

I love your tash.

SHE STRAINS

Hello, little caterpillar!

HIGH-PITCHED: Ooh, hello, Frank!

All right, whatever. The wire worked.

We got everything. She'll go down. It was a good idea.

Oh...Good. I'm glad, Orifice.

No! O...

LAUGHS: Officer!

It's a nice colour. Do you dye it? Just get him out of here.

Yes, I will. Goodnight, Keely Wheely.

Goodnight, little caterpillar.

HIGH-PITCHED: Ooh, goodnight, Frankie!

Oh, Frank...

Oh, Frank...

Oh, Frank, no, I can't take the weight. Frank! Frank! Frank!

Francis Hathaway, get in the car now!

Oh, yes, Ma'am.

You were not exaggerating, Lu. He's in a right state.

I'm glad you came. Come on.

My pleasure. Where are we taking him?

To mine. I don't want him on his own.

Oh... I'm never alone with you two. Huh?

We're family! I love you guys. I love ya!

In you go. Oh...Mind the head.

That's it.

And the leg is in! There we go.

Hoo-hoo! Did you get all that? Every word.

HATHAWAY, ON VIDEO: I love you guys. I love ya!

We're never going to have to buy another coffee again.

HE SNORES