All language subtitles for Planet Weird 01

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

NARRATOR:
Even the most respected grown-up...

(SQUAWKING)

..was once a party animal
searching for love.

Hot blood leads
to seductive behaviour.

(SENSUAL JAZZ MUSIC)

And when the Flame Bowerbird
drops its jungle boogie,

it's irresistibly weird.
(SQUAWKING)

The creatures of Earth...

are wilder than you could
possibly imagine. (Honking)

Among the fast...

and fearsome
are the astoundingly crazy.

With strange behaviour...

and outrageous fashion sense.

They're all in a competition
to survive...

...and weirdness always wins.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Inhabiting waterways
across the globe...

..there's a strange creature.

That's beauty, beast..

and record-breaking killer
all in one.

This pregnant dragonfly
is in a rush.

With only 8 weeks of life, she's made
the most of the dating pool.

Now she needs to deliver her eggs.

The dark waters of a pond?

Perfect.

Ovipositor dipped below the surface,

she deposits her brood.

For some, motherhood is about care,

nurturing, and unconditional love...

..but not this dragonfly.

(DANCE MUSIC)

Dumping the kids and taking off
is how dragonfly mothers roll.

Eggs laid, she splits for good.

(BIRDS TWEETING)

(FROGS CROAKING)

Months have passed...

and the dragonfly offspring
looks nothing like her mother.

Orphaned, she needs to grow fast
to survive.

Natural-born killer
instincts kick in.

With her target locked...

the nymph draws in water
through her backside.

Then forces it forward
to fire her lower jaw.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

For two years the nymph terrorises
her aquatic world...

..growing bigger and stronger.

The ugly hatchling has become
one of the pond's top predators.

But the time comes
when the pond monster must be reborn.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Water-breathing gills transform
to take in air.

She leaves the dark waters behind

and heads toward the moonlight.

The nymph expands her body...

..excreting solvents
that help her moult.

Her hard exoskeleton cracks open...

..and the killer is remade.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Like an insect Cinderella,

she's suddenly glamorous.

But can she really leave
her dark past behind?

Her appearance may have changed,

but she's become even more deadly.

Able to fly almost
60 kilometres per hour.

..executing sudden turns
in any direction.

With a hunting success rate
reaching 95%.

She is the most successful predator
on the planet.

And the first chance she gets
she'll pair up, mate...

..and dish out tough love
to her own offspring.

They may be born into squalor,

but dragonflies that survive
are all destined to be high-flyers...

..beautiful, but deadly.

The islands of New Guinea...

..are a cauldron of quirky courtship.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

These female Flame Bowerbirds

are window shopping for a mate.

And this elegant bower,
come love lair,

has aroused their curiosity.

Constructed by the male
Flame Bowerbird...

..a hypnotic dance freak
with a ton of funk in his junk.

But these gals will need convincing.

Because he's gonna be
a fly-by-night father

and leave her to raise
the kids alone.

Genetic dorks need not apply.

So, they are looking long and hard.

He's got just one chance
to show what's in his genes.

The bower he's built isn't a nest.

It's just a stage
to entertain the ladies.

He fusses over the final touches.

(SQUAWKING)

She's still not convinced.

But this isn't his first rodeo.

He knows just the thing
to light their fire.

Accessorise!

Nothing pulls the ladies
like a splash of colour.

Baubles of blue, purple, and grey

arranged to seduce.

Oh!

That's lured one in.

And now that he has an audience...

..it's time to bust a move.

(SENSUAL MUSIC)

# Mm

# Baby #

(CHIRPING)

Plain Jane is mesmerised.

Her own Magic Mike.

(CHIRPING)

The bower makes it steamier.

The walls frame his performance.

(CHIRPING)

From where she stands,
he looks bigger, flashier

and totally irresistible!

(SQUAWKING)

The male Flame Bowerbird
is truly funk meister number one.

(CHIRPS)

He gets down to business...

..and heads for the door.

Because this bad boy has
more booty calls to make.

(SQUAWKING)

(BIRDS TRILLING)

This pair of four-lined tree frogs

are up and ready
for a little romance.

They're soon-to-be
upmarket parents.

The kind that spoil their kids
and leave them a fortune.

(CROAKING)

But first.. a moment of passion.

Oh, yeah.

The male is smaller...

but he has big ambitions.

Why not add a bubble bath
for a touch of glamour?

But there's no Bed, Bath,
and Beyond out here.

So, they use mucus,
secreted from their back legs.

(CROAKING)

It forms a dense foam nest...

..which will harden on the outside,

but remain moist within...

..creating a crusty but weirdly
luxurious incubation chamber.

The female releases
her eggs into the nest.

The male frog fertilises the clutch.

Rainforest rendezvous complete,

they leave their offspring
with a glistening endowment

to see them through.

(ANIMALS SQUAWKING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(THUNDER CRACKS)

Three days later...

rainwater dissolves the foamy refuge

..and tadpoles emerge.

(ANIMALS HOOTING AND CHIRPING)

After such a pampered upbringing,

the first of nature's truths
hits hard...

hunger.

Time to dip into the trust fund.

(BIRD WHISTLING)

The foam nest
they once called home...

..is also a source of food.

(SQUELCHING)

Kinda weird to be eating
your parent's bed sheets.

But this inheritance will fuel
the tadpole's rapid growth.

These kids are on easy street.

Growing pains kick in...

..as the pampered youth sprout limbs.

And gills are replaced
with air-breathing lungs.

Within weeks, the froglets emerge

from their aquatic dorm rooms,
ready for some adulting.

(CROAKING)

All too quickly...

..the rush of hormones...

and this new generation
of silver spooners

are looking for frog love, too.

Bequeathing the family fortune
to golden zions of their own.

Life for a wood duck mother,
is a continual test.

She's flat-out feeding
on pond weed and snails.

While her ex sits around and preens.

He's all flash and no substance...

..leaving her to bring up
the kids alone.

(QUACKING)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Mother duck has safely laid
her eggs in a top-floor roost.

There's no need
for babysitting up here.

They're safe from almost anything.

Almost.

Rat snakes eat eggs for breakfast.

And they're clever climbers.

A couple duck eggs
are easy pickings.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Down in the water...

..mother duck has no idea.

But she may not give a quack,

because wood ducks need to be
as hard as nails.

(CHIRPING)

From the moment they hatch...

..her little flock face
sky-high challenges.

(CHIRPING)

Number one, they're way up here.

Number two...

Mum's down there.
(QUACKING)

And three...

the Rat Snake's back.

(CHIRPING)
Eggs are fine,

but soft little duck nuggets
are next level.

It's crunch time.

Or at least it will be

if the ducklings don't make
a leap of faith.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Her little offspring
must upspring and outspring...

..before they're eaten.

(CHIRPING)

These little ducks
are born base jumpers!

(QUACKING)

The final chick...

and the snake is close.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(CHIRPING)

Time to get the duck out of here.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

All the ducklings have made it.

One small step for motherhood,

one giant leap for ducklings.

(CHIRPING)

Growing up gangster,

there was only ever one option
for this ant.

The construction racket.

His family is one mean outfit.

How mean you ask?

So mean, they turn their
own babies into caulking guns.

(SQUELCHING)

Just to get the job done.

Like an organised ant syndicate...

..for green weavers,
family is everything.

And their territory is sacred.

Turf wars are common.

It's gangland rules and the bigger
the foe, the harder they fall.

Even when they get double-crossed
by their own kind...

..weaver ants are one family
that don't like to be muscled.

(Italian music)

And a solid mobster house
is critical.

High in the trees...

..away from prying eyes.

(CLUCKING)

More than half a million ants

can live in these leafy hideouts,

which require exquisite engineering.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Building a bridge
from one leaf to another...

..they use their powerful mandibles

and hooked tarsal claws
to draw leaves closer together...

..until they have a solid foundation.

The challenge now is
how to bind everything.

For that, they summon the youngest
wise guy on the books.

(GODFATHER IMITATION)
With an offer he can't refuse.

That's an ant larvae,

he's also glue!

A gentle squeeze...

and the larvae secretes
sticky silk...

..perfect for binding leaves.

It's like using baby booger
as cement.

Ant larvae usually produce silk
to make cocoons.

A tiny home where they can transition

into grown mobsters in solitude.

They may be small fry,

but weaver ant larvae are workers

from the cradle to grave.

(GODFATHER IMITATION)
It's how the family sticks together.

This lone penguin is about to face
one of Earth's craziest challenges.

Survive the most brutal winter
on the planet...

..while balancing an egg on his feet!

(PENGUINS SQUAWKING)

Thousands of Antarctic
Emperor Penguins

have courted, mated and laid eggs.

One per couple.

(SQUAWKING)

They've got just one complicated job,

keep it warm
while hell freezes over.

(SQUAWKING)

Winter is on the doorstep,

so it's time for the female
to hand over her precious cargo.

Too many seconds on the ice
and their egg will freeze.

Emperor Dads protect their eggs

by cradling them on their feet...

..under a luxurious
belly of fat and feathers.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Every father will remain on the ice

through the depths of winter.

While the mothers' journey up
to 100 kilometres to the sea...

..where they will forage
until spring returns.

This is the last sun
the fathers will see

for more than two months.

(WIND GUSTING)

In the darkness,

battling savage winds and starvation,

their sole mission is to keep
their eggs covered and off the ice.

Instinctively, they form a huddle.

(SQUAWKING)

Penguins on the outside
protect penguins within

against the cold-biting winds.

Shifting constantly,

every bird spends time
in the warm heart of the huddle.

(LOUD SQUAWK)

Heat at the centre can reach
an incredible 37 degrees Celsius.

Sustaining the scrum for nearly
two months non-stop...

takes a heavy toll.

Sadly, not every father
master's the skill.

Even the strongest males
lose half their body weight.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

As spring approaches,
chicks begin to hatch.

They're born into the toughest
environment on Earth,

and their fathers have
little left to give.

A meagre meal of penguin pablum...

..protein-rich crop milk

secreted from a gland
in their oesophagus.

Just in time...

the females return with bellies full.

In a rookery of thousands,
they must call for their mate.

(SQUAWKING)

The female locates her partner,

desperate to see her young offspring
for the first time.

After months of nurture and hardship,

the male is a little reluctant.

The exchange begins.

It needs to be quick,

exposure to the ice can kill
newborns in just minutes.

(WEAK CHIRP)

At last, the chick can feed properly.

Finally,
it's the male's turn to feed.

(DANCE MUSIC)

The Antarctic ice pack is now
at its full extent.

He'll spend days crossing the ice
to find open water.

There are few more heroic dads
in nature...

..and no better reward

than an epic fishing trip
with the guys.

(SOLEMN MUSIC)

Some species lay it all
on the line for love.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

These salmon have destroyed
their very lives

in the hope of romance.

But long before love steals
their breath away...

..male salmon hatchlings grow up
in the river of their birth.

Eventually, it's time to graduate

to the open ocean.

These are their bachelor years...

..living free and hanging
with the guys.

But as they mature...

..they feel the urge to settle down
and have a family.

They bulk up...

..and work on their appearance.

(ROCK MUSIC)

Red hot and randy...

..they know just where to go.

The spawning grounds
where Mom and Dad met.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

They swim for miles against
the current...

..hoping the party won't start
without them.

But getting there is so darned hard.

(SQUAWKING)

And who invited these guys?

(BEARS HUFFING)

Big hairy bouncers,
weeding out the weaklings.

(SAD TROMBONE MUSIC)

With the grizzlies
in the rearview mirror,

a hook-up party for the ages
finally kicks into gear.

(DISCO MUSIC)

Everybody's looking hot.

The guys run wild,
hitting on the girls and vibrating...

..encouraging them to lay eggs.

# Oh, yeah #

At last, a partner and a family
on the horizon,

if only they could enjoy it.

But these guys left it all
on the field

and there's nothing left to give.

They're punching out.

When they die, their decomposing
bodies nourish their young.

For never was there a story ending in
more roe

than of these salmon
Juliet's and their Romeo's.

(ATTENBOROUGH IMITATION) Africa.

Thousands of years of evolution

have created wildlife's
biggest stars!

Flamboyant exhibitionists...

..crowd pleasers...

(TRUMPETING)

..and action heroes.

But the biggest box-office draw
of them all...

..The Sausage Tree.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

(NORMAL VOICE) Weird fruit.

Weird flowers.

And an even weirder way
of spreading its seed.

When you're rooted to the spot
like The Kigelia Sausage Tree...

..you need a little help
to scatter your seeds.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Step one...

gather a fanbase.

Use your green leafy canopy

to entice animals into the shade.

(TRUMPETING)

Step two...

give the audience what they want.

Sausage tree flowers have
evolved a seductive

kind of rancid perfume...

..that everybody loves.

(BUZZING)

And out here in Zambia's
Luangwa Valley,

nothing says "eat me"
quite like kicking up a stink.

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

Vervet monkeys come in
expecting lunch.

(MONKEY CHATTERING)

But find dessert instead.

Gorging on sugary nectar.

In return, the tree coats
them in pollen

that they'll carry
to other sausage trees...

..pollinating their flowers.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(GREGORIAN CHANTING MUSIC)

In just a few weeks,

the sausage tree's reproductive
strategy shows results.

Behold... the sausage fruit.

(DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC)

Step three...

the sausage tree needs an animal
agent to extract its seeds.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Heat and drought resistant,

a windfall of sausage fruits

is a bonanza for starving animals!

(ANIMALS BARKING)

Enter the Olive Baboons.

(MONKEYS SCREECHING)

With some of the strongest jaws
in the primate world,

they gnaw through the shell easily...

..devouring the fleshy pulp
and seeds inside.

(MONKEY RUMBLING)

(MONKEY FARTING)

Within a few hours, the urge to poop
sausage trees seeds

runs through the troop like
a wave of dyspepsia.

(FARTING)

For the sausage tree,
mission accomplished!

(RUMBLING AND SQUELCHING)

(CAWING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(PENSIVE MUSIC)

When the rains finally come...

..the young sausage saplings
spring to life.

Emerging into the spotlight...

..one day to take their place

as icons of the African Savannah.

Meet Australia's Flying Foxes...

..masters of life
in the Upside Down Under.

(SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC)

Everything these furry bats do
is inverted,

absolutely everything.

For some, the idea of having sex
upside down might seem

on the far side of experimental...

for lustful, well-hung fruit bats,

this is as normal as it gets.

Inverted, females hang
onto the males by their ankles...

..while he grabs onto her neck

with his teeth,
pinning her wings to her side.

With a pandemonium of screams...

(BATS SCREECHING)

..success.

Their encounter is over.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(GENTLE CHIMES)

(BATS SCREECHING)

A year later,

the baby bats are starting to get
the hang of adult life.

But there's no upside downtime
for the bat mothers.

They must teach their pups
the ways of the forest...

..like how to find fruits and nectar.

(TRANQUIL MUSIC)

And as the sun climbs higher...

..how to stay cool.

Because these bats
have a fatal flaw.

Above 40 degrees Celsius,

Flying Foxes can die
from heat stress.

So, baby bats need to learn
how to take a dip.

Coarse hairs on their belly
and chest absorb water,

which they lick off at the roost.

But it's a gutsy mission...

..because northern Australian
rivers are primordial.

Yes, thanks to all the nectar,

fruit bats taste just like candy...

and freshwater crocodiles
have a sweet tooth.

All 72 of them.

(BATS SCREECHING)

The lucky surviving mothers
return to the roost...

reuniting with their pups...

and the safer world
of life upside down.

In the far-flung reaches
of the Indian Ocean,

there is a strange island...

seething with ritualistic
mating rites.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

A scarlet kingdom of crustaceans,

unlike anywhere on Earth...

..where fifty million Red Crabs

gather beneath the quarter moon
in an orgy for the ages.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

The Christmas Island Crab

is a pleasure seeker extraordinaire.

For most of the year,

these crabs live the single life
in the rainforest.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

But come the wet season's
first rains...

..the island erupts
in an amorous mass migration.

In order to mate,

these land crabs need
to get back to the beach.

But they live 16 kilometres
from the nearest coastline...

..and man-made obstacles
litter their path.

(STATIC)

MAN: (ON RADIO)
We have heavy crab movement

across all roads south today.

Motorists are warned to drive
at their own risk.

Powerful hormones
flood the crabs' bodies.

(CAR HONKING)

Pumped up on these love drugs,

island traffic is
a mere inconvenience.

(HONKING)

These frisky crabs...
(CARS HONKING)

..risk more than just
a broken heart.

Their super slow metabolism

isn't designed
for long-distance marches.

So, roadside snacks are mandatory.

With so much aphrodisiac
in the air...

..casualties are inevitable.

Finally, after a 15-day trek,

they reach the ocean's edge.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

The larger male crabs arrive
before the horde...

..and are the first
to inseminate the females.

When the lights go out...

it's party time!

After mating, the females congregate
by the shoreline

in pregnant anticipation.

Before dawn, when the moon
reaches its last quarter...

..the females joyfully release

more than a billion eggs
into the water.

Larvae hatch instantly.

Over the next month,
their transformation is spectacular.

Developing
into fully formed baby crabs...

..the crimson tide of new life

reclaims Christmas Island.

Just another incredible origin story,

and living proof
evolution is alive and conjuring

every conceivable way
for life to succeed.

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