Original subtitles

And? -All roles have already been taken.

You are either too early or too late. -Will you join me?

No, I'll try again. -Call me than. Bye.

Miss...

Mr. Carlin? Mr. Bardin on line 3.

The tour of 'Ceux de la Légion' is broken down. I'll put you through.

When the boss is free, do you think of me?

Sure, but now he's taken.

Another breakdown? You are kidding me. Do you sometimes do it on purpose?

Another car? Come on.

Good cars are for successful tours.

Yes. Your income is below par. Thank you.

No, I'm not saying that to you.

Listen. Orlans: 14,200, Blois: 13,600, Tours: 15,300.

No, it's the same song everywhere. It costs me a fortune.

Why did I take that Senechal?

He is unfit for that role.

Let me explain. -Listen, Bardin.

If things don't get better, I'll cancel the tour. Understood?

Yes. Where are you playing tonight? -In Dreux.

That's a golden audience. -Who says that?

Senéchal? Should that reassure me?

Good luck. And don't forget what I said.

Are you not ready yet? That way I never get to Dreux before the evening.

And, old boy? -Your engine is gone, poor soul.

It's not my bike and I'm not a poor soul.

I'm Mr S n chal. Does that mean nothing to you, Senéchal?

From the shock absorber factory?

Do you hear that, Büluze? If you've been in the business for 20 years, you'll get this:

From the shock absorber factory.

Who is Brigitte Bardot? -A movie star.

See? Theater no longer counts.

Come on, boys, to the station. We take the train to Dreux.

Do we have to carry the suitcases ourselves? Nice.

And some people make some money too. Shame.

You are young, handsome, well-built.

Get away from the scene. -Why?

Your future lies with the film.

You let yourself be photographed all the time, you show yourself at all cocktail parties...

talk stupid, hook up some men, cause some scandals...

and you are famous. -That's exactly what you say...

I say it, but I don't mean it.

What a joy the scene has given us.

In 1937 in this theater here in Dreux I received eleven open cloths.

Eleven? -Yes, eleven. And that with a supporting role.

Then my overcoat was stolen. I'm putting it in my suitcase now.

You should too. Come on, get on the stage.

But the call hasn't gone yet. -That's true.

But you should always concentrate before you go up.

I do that in the set, in the skin of my character.

That's the secret of my success. Come on.

3000 francs. You can go home in a minute, baby.

I just called Paris. We don't play and pay back.

gosh.

I'm counting on you. It's going to be a tough day.

Take heart... I'm rehearsing. -And I'm at work.

Working. That's how it always goes in the theater these days.

I'm counting on you. It's going to be a tough day.

Take heart. A legionnaire must never retaliate. Never.

What is it? - Bad news, kids.

What then? -Three men in the room. Cancelled.

You do not mean that.

There is more. The boss canceled the entire tour.

The whole tour?

I'm going to the union. -Don't cancer.

Change your clothes. There's a train in half an hour. Saves costs again.

Fred, pack the bags.

Büluze, address the audience. -What should I say?

Find that out for yourself. -I'm always the loser.

Would you like to teach me a lesson in the art of living?

Art of living is the virtue of the citizen.

Here one only knows the art of dying.

We don't play. I announce it. -Have you gone mad?

The tour has been cancelled. We're going back to Paris.

That must happen to me.

Due to Mr Senechal's illness... -What is he talking about?

Sorry we can't play tonight. You get your money back.

I'll tell that Bardin the truth.

Come on children, time is running out.

Just imagine my position. This is not funny.

Careful with that dress. - Suitcases.

I can't believe it, Mr. Senechal. -I'm glad we're going back.

What am I hearing? Are we just being sent away?

The yield is disastrous. We leave.

Don't whine.

Is it my fault that everyone is against us?

I'm not saying that. -And that movies kill us?

What good is your talent?

People want a pin-up with round buttocks and breasts.

Do I have to drop my pants sometimes? -Go pack your suitcase.

If we weren't in all sorts of out-of-the-way holes, we'd be broke by now.

We have made ourselves impossible. -Who then?

You and everyone else. This is not a role for you.

That hurts me. But I think it is.

You have it your way. But if you want to catch that train, you'll have to change quickly.

Why do we leave like thieves in the night?

You miss the 8:30 train. -So what? Then I sleep here.

I can barely afford a room. I'm an artist, I have to do my makeup.

You do. We grease it.

Come on, kids. Hurry up.

This is not company, but a herd.

Unimaginable. What do they take me for?

For a vagrant? An artist?

Are the taxis there yet? -I found two. They'll be right there.

I will teach them to do such a thing to me.

What happens now? What is this? I must have light, damn it.

I'll break my neck soon.

Who took my suitcase?

My suitcase with all my stuff.

Porter, a taxi.

What a situation.

The train to Paris? -He just left.

And the next? -Tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning?

How much do I owe you? -200.

Are you coming, honey? -No, no way

I didn't see you're legionnaire.

For you I do it out of love. -Thanks, but I don't have time.

I knew a legionnaire. He looked like you. Also such a piece.

With just such a nice mug. Come along. You don't have to pay.

I really can't. Better point me to the police station.

I don't have a good relationship with that. Ask at that pub. Bye.

Do you know where the police station is? -But of course.

Do you know where the theater is?

You pass it and then take the first street on the right.

A legionnaire. Long live the legion. -Thanks. But you should know...

The legion is sacred. May I invite you, Captain?

I don't have time. -Then drink one.

We're celebrating my sister-in-law's 25th wedding anniversary.

An important event.

Anyway, the legion is sacred, though I have not been a legionnaire myself.

Captain, come have a drink. I have a legionnaire here.

This is Captain Gamberge. He drinks a glass with us.

A glass for the captain.

No, a goblet to sound with.

To the brave hero, whose fine uniform...

our party extra luster.

Excuse me, I have to go.

If we had more guys like you, we wouldn't be where we are now.

Do you have a long leave, Captain? -I'm on tour. Inspection tour.

Prefer not to go back? - Exactly.

Tell us about your exploits

That's a bit tricky. -Leave him anyway. Some more art of living.

That is something for the citizen. I only know the art of dying.

It's definitely different over there, isn't it?

It is not the same in the sense that it is different.

There is no analogy at all because it is not the same.

That's exactly how it is. And I know Africa.

Now I have to go, with permission.

Already? In which hotel are you staying? -I don't have one yet.

You will no longer find a room here. It's fair.

Leon, take him to the military society. Yes.

Introduce him to Colonel Trochu. -No, I don't want to disturb him.

He is a friend of ours. I always bridge with his wife on Thursdays.

He will be happy to help you. He's a fine guy.

No, I don't want to bother him.

When he hears that you were here without his knowledge, he gets angry.

I'll go alone. Colonel how? -Leon, take our friend there.

Hopefully we'll see you again tomorrow. -Tomorrow? Of course.

I cut. -Trump. And two spades.

Ah, big slam.

Bravo, won again. -A revenge?

Excuse me, Colonel, it's early morning again.

You're quite right. I'm not holding you up any longer. Good night.

Mr Duchène wants to see you. -Duchene. Let him come in.

Come on in, my dear.

I brought Captain Gamberge with me. He can't find a room.

Welcome, Captain.

He insisted that I go with him.

He was right. A legionnaire is at home everywhere.

My wife is waiting. I entrust our friend to you.

I'll take him under my wing. Make yourself at home.

I am proud to know you. He's on an inspection tour.

damn. Good of you to warn me.

Make it easy on yourself. Feel free to turn off your white panache.

Come, let me introduce you to some friends. -Oh, I don't have to.

Shy, like all heroes.

And, happy to be in the capital? -Sure, although I feel a bit displaced.

I'd like to believe that. Homesick for the desert?

Very. Sometimes I think: What am I doing here?

I am truly jealous of you. To all legionaries.

What a way of life.

The scorching sun, great horseback rides.

Are you sure you like horse riding? -I love it.

Once when I went to the oasis Tagtagham, I killed two horses.

Two magnificent animals. I can still cry about it.

What a guy.

But why do you only have three stripes at your age?

I didn't want to go higher, but stay with my men.

I can understand that. I wanted to be like you.

Instead of playing office clerk.

Paper shops in sad barracks. Ugh, the intendance.

It is necessary work. There should be rice, bread and salt in stock.

That's how it is. You keep us alive.

Yes. But you die for us.

Where did you win that? -On stage.

The operating theater.

What campaigns have you run? -All. Almost all.

And where have you all been? -Everywhere.

Chateauroux, Pontarlier, Collombecha, Siddhi-bel-abbes, Biscra.

God bless you, you must have had many adventures.

With all kinds of women. -I've lost count.

Negro women with saucer lips and without. I'm quite spoiled.

What a lucky bird.

I'll just retire now. - Are you kidding?

Empty your glass and I'll get you a room.

No, better yet. You sleep with me.

You can't do that, Colonel. - Are you refusing it?

Watch out. My wife will be happy. She is an admirable woman.

And welcoming like no other. The whole garrison knows that.

A lot of men have already slept with us. You're really not the first.

Gaston, tell my wife I'm coming and we have a log.

Panache on. -But...

Don't argue. I have four stripes, so you must obey me.

Enter.

Make yourself at home.

Is she beautiful or not? -Enchanting. Is that your daughter?

No, that's my wife. -How stupid of me. Of course.

Captain Gamberge, my wife. - Pleasant, Captain.

My apologies for disturbing you so late.

It's never too late for our heroes.

Besides, we're not spoiled very much here...

with officers of your caliber. -Louis.

You will break a lot of hearts. Unbelievably much even.

What can I offer you? -A good bed. He doesn't want any more.

Indeed. We've been through tough times...

where we moved from city to city. - On camels?

No, in cars. -In cars?

We are motorized. -Have many died?

An awful lot. Just ask Carlini.

My general. -The one I met at St. Cyr.

Tell me, is it true what they say...

Leave him anyway. He nearly falls over from sleep.

Show him his room. Tomorrow he will tell everything.

Everything. I promise.

If you want to follow me...

It's just a modest room.

But that's always better than a tent in the Sahara.

Good night, Captain. -Good night, Colonel. See you tomorrow.

Here is your room. -Very nice.

I made your bed myself. -How kind of you.

Don't get that close. To behave.

Soon my husband will still catch us.

What a wonderful smell of warm sand.

My favorite scent.

You have the sun in your eyes and probably a lot of tattoos on your body.

Yes, but I always leave it there.

Crazy.

See you tomorrow. -Yes.

Sweet Dreams.

Where are you going? - Polish my boots.

I can't approve of that. -I don't want to inconvenience you.

The girl can do that tomorrow.

And since you don't have any pajamas, I'll give you one from the Colonel.

mallard. It's no good what you're doing. Go to sleep.

I am going already.

Peekaboo, your breakfast.

I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.

Thanks, but I don't eat in the morning.

Did you sleep well? -Very well.

I slept very restlessly.

But delicious. By you. -By me?

I dreamed you kidnapped me.

We left together for your adventurous life in the negorij.

You should have been an actress. I was like that as a young girl.

But my husband doesn't know that. -Then we'll keep quiet about it.

What a nightmare. Surrounded by villains...

a cry echoes in the fortress: the Tuaregs.

Quiet. Soon the Colonel will hear you. -He's off to his gun show.

We are alone.

Then follows a siege by thousands of savages...

and I flee like a gazelle into your arms.

And I draw my saber and pounce on the villains.

I cling. I want to share the danger.

That's not for women. - Die with you.

Think of our children. -They raise my parents.

I don't want to live without you. Tuaregs. -Again?

hug me. Give me one last kiss.

Captain Gamberge. Hey. -My husband.

I'm smearing it.

How about a ride on horseback?

I have for you a spirited horse, not ridden in eight days.

Don't tug on the reins like that.

This is quite different from those little Arabian horses.

If you don't like trotting, we can also canter.

Go ahead, gallop.

Mr. S n chal, at last. Madame, I have the honor to greet you,

We were already worried. -If you knew...

Büluze told me about that suitcase.

They didn't lose him did they? -No, it's in your room.

Have you traveled like this? -I had to.

No other problems? -New.

They thought they'd arrest you for that uniform.

A soldier my size? I've been through a lot.

Tell that over dinner. I'll grab your key.

Tasty, gentlemen. -Senéchal.

Hello, girls. -You look good.

Have you traveled like this? -Yes.

Have you not been charged? -Congratulations earlier.

I have been the hero of a special adventure.

Why are you laughing? -We already know everything.

I do not believe that. -Yes.

You have been to the barracks and the general has received you.

You are somewhat wrong, Mr Büluze.

It wasn't the general, it was the colonel.

He did not receive me alone. I also spent the night at his house.

And then, with loud cheers, you marched through the city with 20 horses.

It was only two horses and that was one too many.

Next time I'm going to sell my TVs.

I don't talk to murderers. - Murderers?

You've killed the scene with your TVs.

You've done that with your trash tours.

No fighting. If you sit down, Marie will serve.

No, I don't eat here. Bring the meal upstairs.

Now he is angry. -He started.

You are the youngest.

Oh dear, don't touch her darling.

Mr Büluze, your friend seems nervous.

He can't stomach the fiasco. The tour failed due to his fault.

Did you see him as captain? The public didn't believe it either.

And that's what they say to me. Trash tour.

Within. -It's me, Mr. S n chal. I was looking for you.

Did you hear that snot nose? Trash tour.

He didn't mean any harm. Get dressed and come down.

New. Besides that culture barbarian, I am also annoyed by Büluze.

He needs to say something. He messed up the whole piece.

And then pretend he's the star.

Büluze as a star, no one believes that anyway.

Don't worry. -There are borders.

I'll bring you a nice meat platter.

Didn't mail come for me? -No nothing.

Just some bills. Laundry, dry cleaning, pharmacy.

It's just... Right now... -Calm down. I put them with the others.

Madame Roberte, you are my savior.

I have a weakness for artists.

I'll give you a small advance.

Yes. Please.

Is something coming up? -New.

I need to find something. I'll give Carlini a hearty word about it.

Do not. He may still be of use to you.

I heard Büluze talking about a tour with...what was it called...

'La Grande Career'. -I know that part.

There is a role for me in that. That of the diplomat Count de Rolboise.

A contemporary man with allure and tact. So cut for me.

A little advice. Make sure you look your best.

I go to the agency in a morning coat and top hat.

But you don't have a morning coat.

I'll go to the costume rental and trade in my uniform.

I'd rather give Mr Carlini one last chance.

But if he messes up, he'll never have to touch me again.

Your publicity photo, madame. -Thank you.

Hello, Mr. S n chal. How chic you look.

Yes, huh? Is Mr. Carlini there? -Yes, shall I present you?

No, I want to surprise him.

Give him this card, but don't say my name.

Count the Rolboise. That name means something to me. Let him come in.

Come inside.

Greetings, dear sir.

What is this supposed to represent, Senéchal? Are you going to a wedding?

I heard you're going to do La Grande Carrière. I want the role of diplomat.

You as Rolboise? You're joking. - Just kidding, huh?

Look at me. I am the personification of the Count.

No no no. Do you know who Rolboise is in the play?

Yes. The French Consul in Honduras. -That's almost an ambassador.

Precisely. -You can't play that.

Why not? -That's not your kind of role.

No one plays the role of valet like you.

But a man of the world would give you relief.

You were already unbelievable in the role of captain.

No, I do not have time. By the way, the role of consul has already been forgiven.

I gave it to Bülair. -Mr. Balair.

Come in, Bélair. I was just talking to Senéchal about you. Do you know S n chal?

New. -All right, sit down.

Your contract is ready. All you need to do is sign.

Come on, Senéchal. And trust me, forget about diplomacy.

What a pity. Goodbye, Mr. Bülair.

Now the two of us.

Don't have a car? -New.

Get in and I'll take you.

What a beautiful ceremony. -A beautiful mise en scene.

Marquis della Torre, ambassade-attach .

Count Hubert de Rolboise, French Consul in Honduras.

Principessa Ludibesco. Princess Ludibesco.

It's a real honour.

Drop me off at a taxi. - Aren't you coming to lunch?

New. Is there a lunch? I'm still hesitant. I am a solitary person.

You can't do that to Bremond de St. Charles.

No, you're coming with us.

So you are consul in Honduras.

I love Honduras. -Do you know it?

No, I saw it on TV. It is mountainous.

Terribly mountainous.

It goes up and down and up and down again.

It is very humid there.

Especially in the rainy season. What's strange: The rain falls diagonally down.

That's because of the wind.

How interesting. -Very interesting.

Molto interesting. -You are absolutely right.

One glass, please.

See you later.

Marina, what is the name of the man who just greeted me?

Which man? -Over there at the buffet.

He came with you.

The one at Ghislaine de Terre Rouge. -Don't you know him?

That's Hubert de Rolboise, one of the better diplomats.

The name sounds familiar. -Indeed.

He is the French consul in Honduras. -Oh, of course.

Dear Ghislaine, nice to see you. May I?

You have spoiled them very much. Thank you.

Our thanks. You really spoiled them.

Thank you. You spoiled them so much. -Oh, it was nothing.

I still remember how sweet she was when she was little. -Make her happy, because otherwise...

My compliments, madam. -Thank you.

The princess said you are from Honduras. -Yes, I'm going back now.

So soon? -Ah, duty calls.

Is there any scattering there? -Do they hunt there?

Of course. On crocodiles and larks. With lassos.

Do you hunt larks with lassos? -No, on crocodiles.

We hunt larks with a whip.

What a life. What else can you do?

You have whaling, revolutions and card games.

Also poker? -Especially poker.

A hellish game. I once sat at the table for 48 hours.

Awesome. And the love? What about love in Honduras?

Ah, there everything breathes love and lust. That's because of the climate.

But it often rains there, doesn't it? - That's exactly why.

What else do you need?

What a picturesque and exciting stuff.

Listen, come to me tonight and I'll prepare you a pleasant surprise.

Rue Spontini 29, a mansion. Promise me you'll come.

I promise. Your wish is my command.

But now I have to go. Excuse me. -See you tonight.

Good news. I have someone here who knows you well. Your immediate superior.

How nice. -Castel-Brissac, Chief of Staff.

Count de Rolboise, consul in Honduras. -I know, I know.

Of course I know that. I've only been working there for a short time, but I know everyone.

You must have confidential matters to discuss. I am retreating.

You have especially known my predecessor. DeBonneville.

I thought so. A real bon vivant. How is he doing?

He is dead. -Is he dead?

Didn't you know? -In hot, humid countries...

everything leaks, but news never leaks out quickly.

And I rarely leave my post.

My compliments.

Officers like you are a credit to the office.

Finally a chef who recognizes my merits.

Tell me, dear Consul, are we still so loved out there?

Sure, except by Carlini. That kind of gets in my way.

I know, I know. -Do you know that?

But I'll get him down.

Iron fist in velvet glove. -Iron glove on velvet hand.

A small nuance difference.

And how are you doing, politically speaking, in general?

I think: never be biased. -Smart.

Two left hands for the right and two right hands for the left.

You are a real diplomat.

Your lapels are still virgin. Something will be done about that soon.

It makes me blush. - Come to the ministry tonight.

Then we'll talk. -Tonight I have to go to UNESCO.

Do I need to say more about it? -No, I know. State secret.

No, loads of state secrets.

And, did it go well? -Better than that. Awesome.

Do you see it? -You look handsome.

So you have a commitment? -No, I was promised something.

And the advance that was offered to me... -Did you get an advance?

Not yet, that will come tonight. It's a royal offer.

From Carlini? -Carlini can eat the pot.

Of a special woman, a princess. She recognized the diplomat in me.

I'm going to visit her at home tonight.

Shouldn't you rest a little first? Your eyes shine so feverishly.

tropical fever. I was complimented on my success in Honduras.

In Honduras? -In Honduras.

I'm making some linden tea, Mr. S n chal. -Call me Hubert de Rolboise.

Fine. And I'll give you a sedative too.

Mr de Count de Rolboise.

Come on, dear friend.

We waited impatiently for you.

You all know these gentlemen from the wedding.

But Prince Alexandre does not know you. He is my husband.

Dear Count, I am honored. Quante felicis cave con nos.

Well, you can say that, yes.

Are the gentlemen playing clover coats? -How witty, clover jackets.

A friendly game of poker. -Child's play.

For buttons or something? - But sit down anyway.

I don't play poker. -In Honduras you can play it.

Yes, but in Honduras... -Sit down, dear friend.

We agree. Cinquantemila franchi la cava, no more.

50,000 francs? -I.

Will you take my place?

No, you love cards according to my wife.

I'm going to read and light a cigar.

Shall I tell you some hunting stories then?

Take a seat, let's get started. -It's waiting for you.

Come on, dear friend. I'll sit next to you to bring you luck. come.

Sit down. Can I have a seat?

Someone hasn't paid. -That's Rolboise.

Pick up your cards. I'll take care of the chips.

View your cards.

Starting bid. -I'm coming.

I pass. -1000 there.

Do you see? -Yes I see it.

A map. -Given.

And you, Rolboise? -Take two.

I wouldn't dare.

I take off. -Belotte, you've been there.

Another round? -It's almost noon.

Mr S n chal is right. This is not a gambling den.

I saw him go out. He was wearing a tuxedo and dressed up like a hooker.

What would he do? -Performing in a back room.

We'll hear all about it tomorrow.

No jokes. He was in bad shape.

He was really talking nonsense. I worry.

It would have been more fun cards without him. - He just doesn't like it.

What do you have? -Three kings.

Three aces. All chips are mine.

Did I lose again? -Unhappy in the game.

In Honduras we play it differently.

Shall I give you some play money back?

How am I doing? - This was eleven and that makes twelve.

Twelve. That is... -600,000 francs.

What is it? Are you not feeling well?

I feel a little depressed. My malaria is playing up again.

And the flight took 46 hours.

I must ask you to excuse me for a few minutes.

What are we doing, are we still playing? - It's more boring with four people.

The prince will take his place. You want to do that, don't you?

All right, but I'm not playing for myself, I'm playing for you.

Good. Just go get some rest. -I need to get some air.

No, you lie down. Come with me.

Opening. - Come on.

Pass. -I'll start with 15,000.

I'm coming.

Come in, dear friend. Just lie down on that couch.

If so. I'll get some aspirin. -I'd rather go get some fresh air.

I'll open the window.

No, I'm going outside. I also have to get cigarettes.

But I have more than enough cigarettes. I'll grab them.

Please. -Thanks. Would you do me a favor?

Then go back to your guests. -No, you still look tired.

I will stay here. Sit down.

You don't want to understand, do you? I'm not tired, I'm in love.

In love? But isn't that delicious?

A love forever. Start in the blink of an eye.

And she never knew and never will. It's you.

So you didn't feel unwell at all?

All drama. -What an actor.

That's what they say. -I should be angry.

Indeed, chase me away. I deserved it. I'm going.

No, stay here.

Diplomatic corps.

Three aces. The odds have turned. -And that twice. Bravo.

And you say you're never lucky. -But when I have it, I use it.

That Rolboise is bad.

For a diplomat, you go straight for your target.

Let's forget this moment of foolishness. Adieu.

You love me, but you always want to leave. -Let's leave it at that, my love.

With this we are even.

Carr aces. -Incredible. Peccato mortal.

I'm in great shape. That will please the count.

Happy is he who, like Odysseus, has made a beautiful journey.

What delightful things you say.

I'll let you sit like this for 48 hours without moving.

When will I see you again? -Right now.

royal flush. -Unbelieveable. Awesome.

Three full house, two diamonds and a flush.

I have to show the princess that. -It's unprecedented.

My husband. He can't see us together.

Marina. -See you in a bit.

I'm coming.

A royal flush. For the first time in my life.

Consul, come here. You must see this.

It is unbelievable. A miracle. I have reclaimed everything for you.

Plus a few thousand francs. They're calculating it now.

Look. -Awesome.

Do you feel better? -Much better.

The last blow in particular was remarkable and rare. You are not married?

Then I can make this vulgar comment.

Dear Count, you are a real lucky man. - That's what I was about to say, Prince.

You must be concerned about a homeless person. -Yes of course.

You look like a good and kind person.

I live in poverty.

I could say six kids and a sick wife, but I'm alone.

Take it and leave me alone. - Thank you, Mr. Carlini.

S n chal. -I got you good.

Now you can no longer say that I have no talent.

And what does all this mean?

You saw no diplomat in me.

You were wrong, but hey, we forget that.

You bring 'Le Cheminot'. I'm cut out for the role of a homeless person.

No, that role is played by Bernal.

I don't want to see you here every day.

I give you the role of gamekeeper. -From gamekeeper?

It only has two rules. -No, four.

Do you think I'm crazy? You can keep that gamekeeper.

I don't need alms, I can do it without you.

All the better. -I'll get through it.

I attract 45 million viewers with roles from Topaze to Knock and Molière.

Just take them on those roles. -Not on your rotten stages...

but on a stage that suits me, that of life.

Send me cards when you're in Charenton.

How much? -Two.

And, Mr Büluze, are you employed? -An unimportant tour.

What kind of gang is this?

The costumes that S n chal brought back.

He is currently unemployed. -I thought so.

Academician, Bishop, Deputy Prefect. And all with great success.

No, but. We live in the same guest house and he hasn't told me anything.

He said he chose his own roles and made a good living from them.

Where does he play? -At theater De Wereld.

Never heard of it. Certainly some theater in a suburb.

This morning he came to get an interpreter's cap.

As for Paris, I feel comfortable. But he dares.

Your coffee. -Ah, the coffee. Thank you.

And, did you enjoy it? - My compliments to the cook.

The lobster was fine, the duck with orange delicious...

the foie gras unforgettable and the almond pastries worthy of a master.

Thank you. Do you work for a travel agency? -Yes, yes. More or less.

I accompany rich foreigners.

People who visit luxury restaurants. Like you eat better there than elsewhere.

I myself prefer a feast in a nice tent like this.

Then we miss our percentage.

Charles, a brandy for this gentleman. -No, no alcohol.

For the good name and prestige of France...

we should introduce them to bistros like this.

Very kind of you. -No, that's just the way it is.

And I'm a foodie.

I will therefore use all my influence to put you on the list.

But I'm just chatting while my Americans are waiting for me.

May I have the bill? -No way.

I can't approve of that. Well? All right, sand over it.

I'll be in touch. But tomorrow I have Japanese.

And the Japanese are yellow and don't make money.

But the day after tomorrow I have Belgians and they like to feast.

I'll call you. Mr Scapin from the Molière travel agency.

I'm glad I came. I ate very well.

Bye.

No doubt about it. You are allergic.

What is that? -The fashion.

It used to be called a bad mood.

Aristotle said beautiful things about it.

My girlfriend kept talking about you and since other doctors couldn't find anything...

are you my last hope. All the charlatans ...

There have always been charlatans in the world, nothing can be done about it.

Can you feel my fluid? I have your pain between my fingertips.

Say nothing. One look is enough.

Look at me.

Your beautiful, sad face is an open book to me.

You are a hypersensitive person...

a frail creature who feels displaced in this unforgiving world.

That's exactly how it is.

Misunderstood by your environment, treated roughly by life.

The diagnosis is childishly simple.

An indefinable soul and a desperate heart.

Oh doctor, you understand me. -Don't call me a doctor.

Excuse me. -I'm doing some friends a favor.

I am a doctor, so to speak, in spite of myself.

Have I eased the pain? -Yes. Great, I'm cured.

Your wealth is a gift of God. -Perhaps. All gifts are welcome.

But I am incorrigible. How much do I owe you?

Nothing.

I heard you do charity. -Yes, in the lost hours.

For unemployed artists.

Please, for your good works. Take it for that.

Thank you on their behalf.

I feel so good. -Me too.

Since I met you, I've done 500 million business.

Since yesterday? -I'm fast and business is business.

But there is more than that. There are also things that touch the heart.

That's why I'm here, my dearest Mado.

When I just received two clients in my office on the Champs-Elysées...

I only thought of you.

I quickly made those pesky nags pay to be with you earlier.

I admire you. That must be delicious, with millions of juggling.

Money does not make you happy.

And to forget all those sums, I'll take you to a driver's cafe...

where you eat like you are at home. - Probably not like at my house.

Can't we eat better in my flat, t te- -t te?

I stand behind that 100 percent. I sign for it blindly.

Do you have your car with you? -No, I sent him away.

I'll call my maid and tell her she's preparing a romantic supper.

Come on in.

You see it is very small.

My glass is small, yet I drink from it.

Give me your briefcase and your coat. -I'm already busy.

soon.

Sit down. I'm going to see if everything is ready.

Marie, you can serve. My guest is here.

Who are you, gentlemen? -Friends.

Who are good for you. -If you slide right.

And what might that mean? -We want some of your assets.

Is this a trap? I already get it.

Mado works for you. She's soliciting. -Bravo. And that for a rich man.

Stay here, Rockefeller. -We have shooting irons.

The sometimes goes down suddenly.

No, you can pluck it, but no violence.

Movable. But there's nothing to pluck.

We're not schlemiels.

His bag is full of money. He said so himself.

Let go of the tas. -Laat go.

Damn, just newspapers.

Bunch of suckers. You thought I was a millionaire.

Here, my portfolio. Just enjoy it.

Two thousand francs. And a bunch of photos.

Show those pictures to your student gangsters.

Conductor, officer, man of the world, homeless...

famous pastor, dancer, conferencier, in tuxedo, habit, rags.

The man with the 100 faces, wanted everywhere by the police, that's me.

The murder in the Rue de Lourmel, the mystery of the yellow room...

the pearls from the crown.

We don't operate in the same world, but you still have to know your classics.

ashemenou. Were you all behind that?

Get all of that behind you, please.

I don't want anything to do with you.

Who are you? -Who I want. Gamberge.

Consul of Rolboise, Professor Knock, alias S n chal, Scapin, Mascari enz.

International class. Petje af.

If you want to be a star, don't limit yourself to one role.

Then why did you hook up with Mado? -Because...

I wanted to borrow money from the types next to us and they only lend to the rich.

So you've been playing comedy. - I love that.

Especially if I have a nice partner as an opponent.

You should have someone like that for your boss.

Mademoiselle Mado Clarrieux? -Fifth left.

Is she home?

For what? -Law enforcement.

Law enforcement? What do you want from Mademoiselle Mado?

Just wait. We want some information from you.

Mine? -Yes.

So that jeweler has a door that leads to the courtyard?

We need to break up the floor of the apartment above.

But people live there. -Not after I've stopped by.

But how do we get away? - I'll think about that.

The whole night.

But boss, you said... -Get out of here.

If he tells you to leave, then go.

See you tomorrow. -Be nice.

I will sacrifice myself for you.

My hero. -My girl.

What do you want me to do? -Go fry me an egg.

Right away.

Mado, the police.

The service staircase. -And he?

Leave him alone. Maybe he turned us in.

Hands up. -Hands up?

Not again. Are you with more? I'm the boss now.

I'm working out the heist on that jeweler. That will work.

So a full confession.

Hands up. Law enforcement. -They are gone.

I don't care about that. I have the boss. -I can explain.

Silence.

S n chal Fran ois Lucien, actor.

The charges: illegally wearing a uniform, embezzlement of state...

abuse of trust and attempted fraud.

What do you have to argue against this? That I deserve neither the glory nor the shame.

A beautiful hall. And what a yield.

Silence. You are not here in the theatre, S n chal.

And you were found with a light woman...

and two bandits, whom you are in charge.

That was a lie and I proved it in the preliminary investigation.

But what the hell were you going to do there?

Make love. At least that's what I hoped.

But then the jutes declared me a scapegoat...

and I was the loser. A well-known phenomenon.

Is he good or is he good?

If he continues like this, something will wave.

Then I now want to hear the witnesses for discharge.

That's us. -No, thank you.

I do that myself. Who knows me better than myself?

"I defend myself with fervor and don't let anyone else spoil it." Cyrano.

As you wish. The floor is up to the defense.

Your Honor, my client is typically one of those strange birds...

who scour our provinces and are seen in Paris as flimsy actors.

An insignificant practitioner of the arts.

Insignificant? young man...

This poor comedian has sinned out of pride.

I will show that this charming buffoon meant no harm.

That guy has no talent. He's going to blow the case.

Leave me, friend. "Friend, cross that out."

'Le Misanthrope', first act. -Well.

'To sit. I haven't finished speaking yet.' 'Cinna', act 3.

I've played litigants myself, I don't need a lawyer. Go back to your box.

Silence in the hall. Silence.

He's in great shape. -And funny.

He's never been so pleased.

I'll keep my story short.

This man, who accuses you of being on the stage of life...

plays the roles that he was denied in his profession. That man...

that artist, that great artist, is innocent.

Thank you very much.

I'll have the room cleared out soon.

Then you have to give them their money back.

How witty.

Whose fault is it that my client is here?

The theater directors, who have no eye for the truly talented.

They let actors languish in bit parts.

Actors who feel a thousand characters bubbling up inside.

He gets angry.

You have nevertheless abused the credulity of your neighbours.

Is this a direct scam? New.

The evidence: No one has filed a complaint against him.

If he had wanted to, he could have sat here as a billionaire.

But that was not the goal he wanted to achieve.

I just wanted to finally play big roles

Have you never dreamed of being Minister of Justice yourself?

But I'm not involved here, Mr...S n chal.

The artist life is not always as easy and fun as people think.

It's a train that takes you on a freezing platform at night.

It's a sandwich that you quickly eat during a break, a poor hotel room.

A dusty dressing room, a drafty stage.

An advance that you do not receive, a fine that you have to pay.

And all that to be able to say in far-flung corners:

'The food is served, madame' or 'The car is ready'.

Under those circumstances, prove that you can do something.

I am not a bitter man. Nothing can spoil my mood.

As Mr Figaro said:

"I hasten to laugh at everything for fear of crying."

That's all. I'm glad I was able to vent in public.

Just send me to the scaffold now. Thank you in advance.

Order in the room. Silence.

What is it? -Some comedian.

Silence.

Given your antecedents and a certain talent...

the court advises you to develop that talent elsewhere.

But to prove that judges aren't the worst, we acquit you.

And cheers for Senéchal.

A thank you to the friends who supported me.

To your health and mine.

You were really great. -I did well.

It's hard to carry a comedy alone. The judge played badly.

He acquitted you. -His voice didn't carry far.

It didn't matter if I had left earlier.

There he is. Awesome. You were great.

You got me. -leather in turn.

I've always believed in your talent. Tomorrow your photo will be in the 'Figaro'.

On the frontpage? -Yes. And there is more.

Charlie is sick. You take over his part in Rodinant's play at the Michodière.

In Paris? -Yes. So I do think of you.

I'm going to play in Paris. -Finally.

A nice role?

A scene in act 2. -One scene?

But what scene.

Full of emotion, irony and with a lot of text. Just like the courtroom scene.

Here's the text. Teach him quickly. Premiere in 3 days.

I can never do that.

You have a good memory. And you can rehearse day and night.

Look at this, Alexandre. Your friend the consul was an actor.

That's what happens when you invite everyone. And you were full of him.

You can say that.

Look, Captain Gamberge, who we thought was a legionnaire.

He was just a comedic actor.

You too with your heroes.

I had almost introduced him to the general.

We let ourselves be tricked by a flut actor.

"You should have a man like that for your boss." Idiot.

He got you pretty good. -Shut up.

I don't know what he's like as an actor, but I felt good with him.

I said shut up. -Do not worry.

It's not S n chal's birthday yet.

No, that's nothing. We'll start again.

And, S n chal, play a little more sober.

This is old fashioned drama. -But I empathized.

That's what the public should do. The situation is dramatic. Ask the author.

That detective has to stay in the background.

He is like the choirs to a Greek tragedy.

Precisely. It's the end of the second act...

and it is about madame's grief when she hears of the mistress.

And then the mistress comes in and wants to kill her. Start over.

We'll never make it that way. -Yes. That's how it always goes.

Madame, Motus' detective. -Let him in.

Nicole, when my husband asks who's with me, it's the interior decorator.

All right, madam. You enter.

Stop. What about that walk and that gesture?

Private detective, raincoat, cap. -Idiot. Start over.

And the build-up? -Don't waste your time.

I'm not wasting time.

I'm not a movie actor, I act.

Start all over again. -This is not military service.

Enter.

Now he doesn't do anything anymore.

No no. -What now?

Do something. -It's never right.

You are doing too much or nothing. -It's enough like this.

I know my trade. Come on in, I got it. Look at me and the author.

How is the investigation going? Don't worry, we're alone.

This is a great honor for me and also a thankless task.

No superfluous words. The facts.

I followed your husband all evening.

Your protégé has to get out.

Despite the publicity. Before him 10 others.

What's up, do you think he's bad? -No, not bad. Very bad.

I am aware of the grief I have just caused you.

But I've been honest with you because... Because what?

Because I knew. -Because I knew. What did you know?

That you... -Hush, I know.

Because I knew you...

What was she exactly? -Don't get excited.

You know your text best. Too good even. That's why you forget him.

Yes, I know him too well. What do I say then?

I'll have a hot drink come over. -I'll have a hot drink come.

Get dressed, it's almost 8 o'clock. -8 o'clock. Good Lord.

Is he there? Am I not bothering you? -No.

I didn't want to go to the Lido without wishing you good luck. Bye bye bye.

Thank you. You're going to lift your legs.

You can move. You don't have a director to slow you down.

You are nervous. -Well.

Wait. Open your mouth and swallow this tablet.

What is it? -something for the nerves.

Doesn't that bother him?

All great artists suffer from this.

Go through it with me. -I've had my share...

and I don't want to miss act 1. -I'm not in that.

All the more reason. And I know your scene by heart.

Suck on this ice cube, it clears the voice.

Do you think? -It helps if I have to sing.

Get ready if you want to ride with me.

I'll be ready in 5 minutes.

You know what I think. -Just leave it out of your mind.

And yet I find it.

Mr S n chal, the mistress tells you to drink this hot.

Help me rehearse. -Again?

The first act. - Clear the stage. This way.

I'm counting on you. Get the first act right.

Not too fast. Then they don't understand me.

I have stage fright. -Otherwise I will.

Listen. What did I have? Oh yeah, don't forget the glass.

You close the drawer and walk away after Bravard says "come here."

We're going for it. Enter the start character.

The young client my husband had this morning ...

Which of the three do you mean? -The blonde with the blue eyes.

Was that her first time? Or was she there when I was at the clinic?

New?

I've always liked you. -That's true.

I've done a lot for you, so I'm entitled to an honest answer.

Did you see that girl for the first time this morning or did you already know her?

I already knew her, madame.

I am aware of the grief I have just caused you and...

I am aware of the sadness...

And, boss, all kits? -What's up.

It will be tense. -This is the introduction.

I have every confidence in you, but it's off to a bad start.

Gonthier pulls weird faces. See for yourself.

Who are you, gentlemen? Are you looking for someone?

Mr S n chal. We wanted to take him to the theater, but he's already gone.

What a chilly room. -Very good.

Very good? They're downright clunky. Very clumsy.

I hope they thaw. - It wasn't brilliant.

It's the first act. -There are three.

The second will make them cry. -And at the third they stand.

To leave, yes. -But I believe in my piece.

Rightly so. -I want to say something to the public.

Do you believe in it?

You name it.

Mr. Senéchal? Do I speak to the theatre?

But he's long gone.

Help.

What happened to you?

What did you say?

What?

Director, director. -So, is he there?

He was long gone, they said.

What would he be up to? -I'll take another look.

He's still not here.

We should have waited for him. -someone else has to do the part.

That won't be that hard. -Director.

He's there. He's in his dressing room. -Beautiful. I'm going to squeeze it into him.

Good thing, too. He's not good... -But indispensable.

Where were you now? everyone was distraught.

You fly out. And don't come to me with a subway failure.

Hurry. Put on your suit and forget the make-up.

Hurry up or you'll ruin your turnout. No, no comment.

What happened?

What? I don't understand you.

You caught a cold. I'm going to warn the director.

The public must be informed. That way you can't possibly play.

He messes up. -No, he's coming.

But I called him out. Get a replacement tomorrow.

I take care of that.

S n chal, your password. -No, me first.

It's the detective from Motus. -Have him come in.

Nicole, when my husband asks who's with me, it's the interior decorator.

All right, madam.

Here he comes.

Would you be so kind as to come in?

I've been waiting impatiently for you. How is the investigation going?

Tell.

Don't worry, we're alone.

No superfluous words, please.

Just the facts.

I followed your husband. -I followed your husband.

Is he deaf or something? -No, he can't speak.

Again, you can tell me anything.

What are you waiting for?

What does he have? -He's lost his text.

Don't talk so loud. Someone will hear us soon.

Come on, I expect an explanation.

I followed your husband.

He stopped at 2 Rue du 4-Septembre.

He climbed the stairs four at a time.

"Honey," cried a pretty girl.

What did you say? Have you seen my husband with another woman?

Who was that woman?

A Spanish dancer.

A dancer? -Spanish.

Fortunately, Hubert is here now. I was bored to death.

They went to a hotel. I looked through the keyhole.

He has undressed.

He must have been drinking.

He carried her to the couch.

Stop the underpants fun. Cloth.

Why? They are happy, they laugh.

My piece is not for laughing. Do something.

Start the next scene. Maybe he'll stop.

I just fall in. -Yes do that.

Darling, now that we're alone...

I'll tell you everything honestly. -You're cheating on me.

I? But who told you such a shameful thing?

My piece is messed up because you hired that idiot.

You wanted to make them cry, didn't you? Well, they do. From laughing.

Believe me, nothing is more sacred to me than we are.

Grease it.

Compared to our love, that woman means nothing to me.

There goes my scene. What should I do now?

Just drop in. Then he has to leave.

I've been waiting for fifteen minutes. I'm sick of it.

Let's dot the i's and cross the t's. You now have to choose between her and me.

How dare you, madam.

And you dared to call our love sacred.

Sample. As long as I live, don't touch my husband.

All right, then I know what to do.

Let me go. Have you gone mad?

This makes no sense anymore. -And my directions?

Lower the cloth. - Cloth, cloth.

I also do not know anymore.

Leave me alone. You have gone mad.

Cloth, cloth. Lower the cloth.

You fly out. Leave me alone.

Saboteur, go play in circus Medrano.

But listen up. His role is a success. Get cloth and return.

With him? Forget it. -Then go alone. forward.

Well done, Hubert. Well done.

Bravo, I'm going to complain to the union. -And I.

You go out. -It's just treason.

Assassination. You will be replaced.

Well no. Tomorrow there will be two new scenes.

Without text. Stupid scenes. I have to make money.

All the same. -Your signature?

Signatures. They ask him for autographs.

That's how it goes. That's called success. - That's nice.

Can I have your autograph, Mr. S n chal? -Mr S n chal, you were wonderful.

Admirable.

But what happened? -I couldn't say a word.

Do you suddenly have your voice back? prankster.

There is a great producer who wants to tour with you.

A big producer? Oh, make him wait.

Hubert. -Marina.

You were fantastic. - Were you in the hall, princess?

Yes. That piece was worth nothing, but you're a genius.

I'll come get you afterwards for dinner for two.

But what about the prince? -He's gone to his club.

I'm sure he's going to be very lucky tonight.

Senechal, stay. Have supper with us.

I'm not free tonight. I play a leading role.

With the opponent a real princess.

Senchal the Glorious.