All language subtitles for Wait.Till.Your.Father.Gets.Home.S02E20.Maude.Loves.Papa.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Hop on, honey.

Put your arms around
me and hold on tight.

If you wanna get in some
squeezing, go right ahead.

I'm never against a little
fun on the freeway.

[laughs]

[engine revving]

Slow down.
There's a traffic jam ahead.

No problem.

[bike revving]

[theme song]

♪ I love my mom and dad
and my brothers too ♪

♪ And the groovy
way we get along ♪

♪ But every time the slightest
little thing goes wrong ♪

♪ My mom starts to sing
this familiar song ♪

♪ Wait till your father gets ♪

♪ Until your father gets ♪

♪ Wait till
your father gets home ♪

♪ Dad's not so bad
and he seldom gets mad ♪

♪ And we aren't
about to desert him ♪

♪ Kids today like
to have their own way ♪

♪ And what daddy
doesn't know won't hurt him ♪

♪ I think
my mom's just swell ♪

♪ But she starts to yell ♪

♪ Every time we have a fuss ♪

♪ Just wait
till your father gets ♪

♪ Until your father gets ♪

♪ Wait till
your father gets home ♪

♪ See what I mean ♪

♪ Wait till
your father gets home ♪

♪ We know ♪♪

♪♪

You really oughta try
the pancakes, Harry.

Yeah, pop. I always
have a big breakfast.

It helps me to face the day.

You know what else helps
you to face the day?

The knowledge that right after breakfast

you're going back to bed.

Unfortunately, I have to get to work.

Something's bothering
you, Harry. I can tell.

Ah, it's nothing to worry about.

But I want to worry.
What's a wife for

if not to give moral
support to her husband.

Well, okay.

[Harry] That's my problem.

This woman took over a little restaurant

from one of my customers
three months ago.

And she's exactly three
months behind on my bills.

Now, I've gotta go over there
personally and try to collect.

Harry Boyle!

You're going to bother a
sweet old lady like that

just because she owes you money?

That's terrible.

Thanks for your wifely moral support.

Lincoln got more support
from John Wilkes Booth.

[Irma] Well, they weren't married.

[car whirrs]

Mrs. Frickert.

Is this a straight mugging or a pick up?

I'm Harry Boyle, Boyle's
Restaurant Supply.

Oh, yes.
I've been dying to meet you.

Your number two stewed
tomatoes are groovy.

And your dried prunes
are heavy, man, heavy.

Oh, uh, thanks.

- Mrs. Frickert.
- That's Ms. Frickert, honey.

I'm loose and single

from the top of my Don Loper hairpiece

to the bottom of my surgical stockings.

Very nice. Ms. Frickert,
I don't understand.

You're running an eating place.

How come that sign, "Closed for lunch?"

I gotta eat too.

And if I take on one more
of my chili burgers

it'll melt the stays in my corset.

I really lay on the sauce.

That's why I'm brown bagging it today.

Well, I've got some business
to talk over with you.

I bet you do, honey.

[giggles]

Come on, dude. Let's split.

There's my wheels.

A beauty, ain't it?
Got a great buy on it.

It's only been ridden
Sunday's by Evel Knievel.

Hop on, honey.

Put your arms around
me and hold on tight.

If you wanna get in some
squeezing go right ahead.

[chuckles] I'm never against a
little fun on the freeway.

[engine revving]

[bike revs]

Slow down.
There's a traffic jam ahead.

No problem.

[bike revs]

That was nothing.

I have taken jump so high I was
able to show an in-flight movie.

This is my favorite bench, honey.

What would you like to
do first? Neck or eat?

Uh, will you get one thing straight?

- I'm a happily married man.
- That's alright.

Care to start off with a little Red Eye?

It'll get the carbon
deposits out of your liver.

No, thank you.

[pops cork and gulps down]

Lovely stuff.

It just popped all the
buttons off my shoe.

Ms. Frickert, can we
get down to business?

I thought you wanted
to eat first, lover.

You start at the sausage.
I'll start at the mozzarella.

And we'll meet at the pepperoni.
It will blow your mind.

You owe me exactly $412 and 85 cents.

Push harder.
Maybe I can go into orbit

and hook up with the boys in Skylab.

No more swinging till
you give me an answer.

Party pooper.

- Alright. I'll pay you.
- Good.

As soon as I can. Right
now, I'm short of cash.

I blew it all to enter my chopper
in the Death Valley 500.

Oh, great.

Whe-e-e!

Now, you're a woman.

It's nice to hear about a woman
that age being so active.

She's not gonna be so active

if she doesn't pay her
bills pretty soon.

Pop you're too materialistic.

You don't see me ever worrying
about money, do you?

No, but I keep hoping you'll start.

You're upset, dear.

It's the way you're treating
Ms. Frickert, isn't it?

I heard being heartless
can give you heartburn.

You know, that old gal sounds cool, pop.

I'd like to race in that
Death valley 500 too.

I don't think you can pass the physical.

You have to be able to
get up off the couch.

♪♪

- Mr. Boyle?
- Yes.

Fred Simpson, Simpson Meat Supply.

I'm Conrad Twillie

interior decorator and
color tone coordinator.

Well, what can I do for you gentlemen?

We understand we got a common problem.

The old broad owes us money too.

Yes, I've been in a sweat about it.

I redecorated her entire shop

and I haven't seen a quid.

Let's get together and foreclose.

She's welched on our bills.

Let's carve her up and get what's ours.

I agree with him.

But I find his choice of
words rather nauseating.

Now look, before we take that step

why don't you let me talk
to her just once more?

If she realizes she's up
against all three of us

she might start paying her bills.

Okay, give it one more shot.

But if she don't come through, her
head's on the chopping block

and I've got the cleaver.

[gasps] Oh, I feel faint.

Mr. Boyle, do you have
any diet Beaujolais?

How come you asked me to meet you here?

Well, you said you had something
important to tell me.

But I had something to do.

So you might as well tell
while I'm doin' it.

Come on.

Take her up, Charlie!

[plane whirring]

What's the parachute for?

It always looks nice
on you when you jump.

Jump?

This is my hobby.
I'm a skydiver.

Well, it's not my hobby.

Don't worry, honey, I'll
be right beside you.

We'll free fall together.

And hook up safeties half way down.

F-f-free fall?

Geronimo-o-o-o!

Don't pull the ring till we drop

another 5,000 feet.

Just hold your arms out
and fly like a bird.

Not like a chicken, sweetie.

I said a bird.

This is a good time to talk.
What did you wanna say?

Help!

Thud

Let me get rid of that
parachute, Marlon.

Then we can finish that
"Last Tango In Paris."

[laughs]

And that's all you wanted
to talk to me about?

- Paying the bills?
- That's right.

I thought you were gonna
tell me you were leaving

your dullsville wife and you and
I could start motel hopping.

Will you get it through your head

that I'm not looking for another woman?

You don't have to look.

You found the one who has it all.

Don't you understand?

There are two other
creditors besides me.

And if you don't pay, we're
gonna have to foreclose.

Oh, you know you'd never do that, baby.

[laughs] You're too mad for my bod.

I give up. What do you do
with an X-rated grandmother?

♪♪

Harry, foreclosing on that
poor Ms. Frickert, it's cruel

inhuman and not even very nice.

Believe me, Irma, I've done all I can.

Do you know what it's like
to try talk business

while you're falling at
1 000 feet a minute?

If I hadn't grab hold of her,
I've would've been killed.

She's just a poor old lady.

Yeah, and she is turning
me into a poor old man.

Now, do you mind?

It's very hard to shave

while you're engaged in a debate.

Alright.

[closes door]

[Harry] Ah!

- What happened?
- I cut myself.

See, you're being punished.

Hey, great lunch, Maude.
What do I owe you?

Let's see, you had the clam chowder

chef salad, barbequed ribs

French fries, pecan pie
a la mode and coffee.

That comes to 79 cents.

Gee, how can you serve good food
like that at such a low price?

I've got a system.
I don't keep books.

Try to make it here for
breakfast tomorrow, Andy.

I'm putting rum on the waffles.

And we're all gonna dance
the funky chicken

in the parking lot.

Hi, honey.
Where have you been?

I haven't seen you in two whole days.

- I've been busy.
- That's a relief.

I thought I was losing my sex appeal.

I was ready go out and
get a silicone job.

Look, I got some news for you.

I-I-I couldn't hold out anymore.
It's all over.

Goodie. You finally told
your wife to shove off

and we can start swinging together.

Will you cut that out?

The other creditors and
I have filed papers

to foreclose this place.

Come on.
You're jivin' me.

Well, believe me.
I-I don't enjoy doing this.

But let's face it.

You don't know how to make a go

out of the restaurant business.

Now, wait a minute.

There's gotta be ways I
can make more money.

[snaps fingers] I got
it. I'll go topless.

It's no use.

Well, I won't go bottomless.
That's naughty.

[snaps fingers] How about this?

I'll put slot machines in the restroom

and you guys can have a
piece of the action.

From now on, this place is closed.

You did the right thing, Harry.

I had the same problem with an
old lady a couple of years ago.

I loaned her money, she
didn't pay me back.

And I had her in court
before you could say

"Gilligan's Island."

Well, I don't feel too happy about it.

Didn't bother me.

I just walked up to her,
handed her the summons

and said, "See you in court, mom."

- You sued your mother?
- Yeah.

She needed this operation
and hit me with 200 bucks.

Wasn't easy getting in
the operating room

to serve the papers.

You're kidding.

Well, I wanted to catch her before

the anesthesia took effect.

Doctors threw me out.
It was okay though.

I sneaked up on her in the
intensive care ward.

Sounds like a warm family reunion.

It was. My brother was the
lawyer I hired to sue mom.

You hired your brother
to sue your mother?

It was a favor to her.

You see, she spent her last cent
puttin' him through law school.

So he needs all the work he
can get to pay her back.

I've got it carved down to the bone.

We can get 300 for the stove.
250 for the refrigerator.

Seventy-five for the coffee urn.

Listen, do you think
there'll be a few bucks

left over for Ms. Frickert?

No chance. Would you stop
worrying about this old lady?

I always say in this
world, it's dog eat dog.

And in this world there are also people.

I can't help but feel a little
sorry for Ms. Frickert.

Get your mind off it, Boyle.
Think of something pleasant.

Come on over to the slaughterhouse

and watch me sock it to a few steers.

Please, don't talk like that.

It's horrific.

I got a feeling there is something

strange about that kid.

You suppose he's a vegetarian?

Yeah, that's probably it.

Look, I'll meet you over
at Maude's this noon.

I wanna make sure that dingy old broad

is really closed for good.

♪♪

Hi, Ms. Frickert.

Hello, tiger.
Be with you in a minute.

I just have to tighten the MX
pegs and adjust the j-bar.

I want it revved up right when I
get back to Centerville, Iowa.

- You're leaving?
- Going back to my hometown.

I had to leave there 60 years
ago 'cause of the scandal.

What scandal?

I left a hickey on my English teacher.

Yeah, well, I'm sure it's healed by now.

Are you gonna drive this
thing all the way to Iowa?

Yep, gonna get my kicks on Route 66.

In old age I can't keep on doing

my thing back in Centerville.

They got a lot of muddy old
farms for dirt racing there.

Of course, they don't have an airport.

But I can keep up my skydiving

by jumping off the church steeple.

It's a biggie.

Well, it sounds great.
I wish you luck.

Howdy, Aunt Maude.

Elwood.
What are you doing here?

Well, when you called and
said you're comin' home

I thought I'd better come get ya.

You're gettin' old in years, Aunt Maude.

You shouldn't be travelin' alone.

I wasn't planning on traveling alone.

I was just gonna start out alone.

[chuckles] I'll be a group
by the first on ramp.

Oh, Elwood, this is my
big fox, Harry Boyle.

He's freaked out for my frame.

My nephew, Elwood.

Elwood Suggins.

Suggins' Hardware and Feed Depot.

- You must have heard of it.
- I'm afraid I haven't.

I can't understand that.

I sponsor the Suggins' Musical
Memory Lane Show on radio.

Got us a 250 watch signal.

Goes all the way into Twin Forks.

Sorry.

We featured an all-grandmother

juice heart band doin'
the Roy Acuff Festival.

You do like oldies but
goodies, don't you?

Sure he does.

[chuckles] What do you think
he hangs around me for?

Come on inside, Elwood.

You look like you could
use a cool drink.

[slurps] Aunt Maude, our
home is the perfect place

for you to enjoy your twilight years.

I pulled the old rocker
out of the attic.

And it's sitting on the porch.

You can rock away to
your heart's content.

I don't know if I'll
have much time to rock.

I'm planning to bring my chopper
and practice up on my wheelie.

Out of the question, Aunt Maude.

We just don't allow no

motorcycle driving in Centerville.

Well, what about my skydiving?

Come on, now.
That's for young hellers.

But if you're looking for excitement

you can come down to the
hardware store Thursdays

and watch me sort out nails?

But I like to do things.

You gotta realize your age Aunt Maude.

You're over the hill and you
might as well make up your mind

to go down to it gracefully.
It'll be nice.

While you're walkin', Sally can
help you with your crocheting.

[car honking]

Oh, that must be Fred.
Excuse me.

I see the sign. She's
really closed down, right?

Yeah, that's right.
She's going back to Iowa.

Good, but keep an eye on her.

I bet she'll try to swipe the stove.

Oh, no, you got her all wrong, Fred.

Maude would never run off with anything

that didn't belong to her.
Except may be a sailor.

You can't trust coots
like that, I tell you.

She might have some sorta set
up waiting for you back there.

The only thing waiting for
her is a rocking chair.

Good. About time she
started acting her age.

Yeah, that's what
everybody seems to say.

[car revs]

I'll check into the YMCA
and we'll leave tomorrow.

That'll give me a chance
to visit Disneyland.

- What's Disneyland?
- You must have heard.

You ride around in a cup and saucer.

And see Peter Pan's village
and Snow White's mine.

And if you're real lucky,
you actually get to

shake hands with Donald Duck.

- Lots of people go there.
- Why?

See you tomorrow.

What will you do with your bike?

I don't know.
Say, would you like to have it?

I just rebuilt the motor,
increased the compression ratio

put in new cams, and
tightened the skid plates.

Where did you learn so much
about motorcycles, huh?

From Steve McQueen.

He taught me the whole scene

during a beer bust we had in Ensenada.

What were you doing in Ensenada?

I went down to race my
chopper in the Motocross.

But I wiped out.

My hem tangled in the exhaust pipe

and my whole dress caught fire.

Up in smoke went four
yards of taffeta slip

and a half a yard of me.

- I was a flamer.
- Sounds dangerous.

Ah, the fire truck put
it out right away.

But that was some feeling, sonny.

You haven't lived till you've
had your underwear foamed.

- Ha ha ha.
- Yeah, I suppose not.

My garter smoked for a week. Phew!

So I went to work helping
the other fellas

with their pit stops.
Got pretty good.

Andy Granatelli called me

the fastest grease gun in the west.

- Well, he oughta know.
- And then, there was the time...

Ah, but that's all over now.

Why don't you, uh, take the
bike and swing a little?

Oh, thanks, Maude, but I can't use it.

But if you like, I-I'll
try and sell it for you.

Okay. I guess I can use the bread

to stock up on crochet needles.

Maude, it's none of my business

but you will be happy back
in Centerville, won't you?

Of course, I'll be happy.
Sure, it'll be fine.

Like Elwood says, they've got
that nice porch back there.

It'll be nice and restful.

And you probably have lots
of friends back there, huh?

No, most of my set have
cashed in by now.

All the more reason like Elwood
says to start acting my age.

Yeah, Centreville's gonna
be just the ticket for me.

Well, I certainly hope so.

I mean ridin' a chopper and
jumping out of planes

that's for the young people.

For me, a good old rocking chair.

Well, I better get packed,
so I'll say goodbye.

And I sure appreciate all
you've done, Mr. Boyle.

♪♪

That's the first time she
ever called me Mr. Boyle.

Then it all worked out
beautifully, didn't it, dear?

That nice old lady is going
back to her hometown again?

Yeah, that's right.
She's going back.

Then it has a happy ending, doesn't it?

Well, it all depends,
Irma on whether her idea

of a happy ending is a rocking chair.

[clicks off light]

♪♪

Whe-e-e!

[bike revs]

Don't pull the ring till we
drop another 5000 feet.

- No, no, no!
- Oh, what is it, dear?

- Have a nightmare?
- No, thanks. I just had one.

♪♪

I still don't get it, Boyle.

We agreed on a foreclosure a week ago.

And now you say, it hasn't been done.

Well, you can both relax.
You'll get your money back.

Then you did sell them
restaurant fixtures, right?

Not exactly.

I traded them in on
some other equipment.

Other equipment?
What other equipment?

- Well you'll see.
- Hold on a minute here, buddy.

You're trying to tell that goofy
old broad is still around?

She sure is.

So, how are we gonna get our money back?

Yes. How? How?

That's how.

♪♪

Ah, it'll corner real sharp now, Lyle.

You had too much weight
on the front end.

So, I moved the handlebars back
and fixed the cable ties.

That's $53 cash.

Alright, who's next?

Don't crowd. Take a number
for better service.

Well, I'll be darned.

She's doing a fantastic business.

We'll get our money back in no time.

It was just a matter of finding
the right line of work for her.

Hi, Maude, how's it going?

Groovy, lover. Groovy.

Love your tattoo, Elvis.

Let's go dancing tonight and
see if I can rub it off.

But first, I gotta test
drive this chopper.

Everyone said she should act her age.

And that's just what she's doing.

You see, her real age is
younger than all of us.

Whe-e-e!

Harry, since you're friendly
with that nice old lady

we really should have
invited her on our picnic.

She could help me fix the
seat on my motorcycle.

I can't figure out why
it's so uncomfortable.

Well, maybe it's you, Chet.

You know, you're not that
used to sitting up.

Oh, but it would've been nice.

Irma, I got her squared away,
so let's leave it at that.

What I need now is some peace and quiet.

And that's why I suggested the picnic.

To get away from that senior
citizen sexpot for a change.

[Julius barks]

Whe-e-e!

Lover, it's you!

♪♪

[theme music]