All language subtitles for Wait.Till.Your.Father.Gets.Home.S01E24.The.Neighbors.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Mona, look honey, can't we
work this out ourselves?

Without all these other
people in the way?

You know, it's still our anniversary.

- Yeow!
- Grrr.

I wonder why George and
Mona didn't come back

for the loveseat.

Maybe it was too expensive.

You know, we should give
it to them, Harry.

How often do you see a couple
so crazy about each other?

What happened?

Mona locked me out

and her dog's trying
to make it permanent.

♪ I love my mom and dad
and my brothers too ♪

♪ And the groovy way
we get along ♪

♪ But every time the slightest
little thing goes wrong ♪

♪ Mom starts to sing
this familiar song ♪

♪ Wait till your father gets
until your father gets ♪

♪ Wait Till Your
Father Gets Home ♪

♪ Dad's not so bad
and he seldom gets mad ♪

♪ And we aren't about
to desert him ♪

♪ Kids today like
to have their own way ♪

♪ And what daddy doesn't
know won't hurt him ♪

♪ I think my mom's just swell ♪

♪ But she starts to yell ♪

♪ Every time we have a fuss ♪

♪ Just wait
till your father gets ♪

♪ Until your father gets ♪

♪ Wait Till Your
Father Gets Home... ♪

[Alice] You see what I mean?

♪ Wait Till Your
Father Gets Home ♪♪

[Alice and Chet] We know.

This stuff's in good shape,
Irma. Why get rid of it?

Because none of it goes with anything

now that we've got those new drapes.

Great. For a ten dollar curtain

we throw away 500 bucks
worth of furniture.

Oh, look, here comes that new couple

that just moved in down the street.

- Hi, Mrs. Boyle.
- We're not too early, are we?

Oh, not at all.
Look around.

I'm sure you'll find
something you can use.

But I ought to warn you.

Nothing here goes with anything.

Oh, Harry, men just don't
understand do they?

Mine does.

Hiya, Harry.

What's all the furniture doing out here?

We're having a garage sale.

Oh, I thought you and the
Mrs. were splitting up.

Come on there, Charlie.

Me and Irma? Never.

It'll come, you'll see.

I put in ten years of marriage
myself before I wised up.

I know what you're going through.

- Hi, Charlie.
- Hi, neighbor.

Look at this yummy loveseat, honey.

It's that magic word love.
The cause of all the trouble.

Just remember kid, love
spelled backwards is evil.

E-V-O-L.

That Charlie, what's he got
against love and marriage?

Alimony.

Shall we get it? Huh?

Wise up kid. You'll only
have to divide it later.

Say no unless you can saw it in half.

Uh, we better measure
our room first, honey.

- Uh, make sure it'll fit.
- A good idea.

I'll hold it for you till you decide.

Oh, thank you.
Come on, honey.

Bye now.

Bye, Mr. Boyle.

Aren't they cute, Harry?
And so much in love.

Sure, seem to be.

I give them six months on the outside.

Well, that loveseat
won't quite fit here.

Oh, honey, maybe if you move the TV.

Hey, quit that.

King, let go.

Honey, we've got to do something

about that hound of yours.

Fifteen months we've been married

he still thinks I'm
breaking and entering.

No, no, bad dog.

Fine way to treat a shiny new
husband on his anniversary.

It's 15 months to the very day.

And you forgot.

Maybe I should set King on you.

Hold off your beast, lady.

The shiny new husband didn't forget.

Oh, George, you're wonderful.

I'll get the champagne glasses, honey.

You won't turn into a husband
like Charlie, will you?

I bet he spent all 10
years of his marriage

just watching football on TV.

Well, not me.
I'll be too busy

for the next ten years
just moving furniture.

- Oh no!
- What's the matter?

The box with the champagne
glasses, it's missing.

All our wedding things were in there.

Even our marriage certificate.

So we'll drink this out
of jelly glasses.

I'm not worried about the
glasses, it's the certificate.

You can get a copy from town
clerk where we were married.

I'm gonna call him right now.

Say, there is a big game on TV today.

What a game, what a game.

Tie score, the Hawks' on
the Tigers 30 yard line

with six seconds left on the clock.

George, the town clerk
says all of their records

were destroyed last month in a flood.

The Hawks come out of their
huddle line up in the wishbone.

[Mona] Don't you see what this means?

No record, no certificate. We
can't even prove we're married.

Lazarowski lined up to the right.

The ball comes to Pierson,
he moves into the pocket.

George Perkins--

Pierson back, he's looking,
he's looking for pass.

Lazarowski is sprinting, he leaps.

One hand, he got it, touchdown!

Wow, did you see that?

What was all that about?

Just that we may not even be married

but that obviously isn't
important to you.

[George] Now, Mona--

All you're interested
in, this Lazoroski.

- It's Lazarowski.
- Oh!

Uh you through with my tape measure?

Huh? Uh, uh--

[Mona] And if this marriage
means nothing to you

it certainly means even less to me.

- Congratulations.
- Uh, it's nothing, I--

I know it's nothing, that's
what I've been trying to tell.

Come on to my place.
We'll plan your future.

Oh... Charlie, you've
got the wrong ide--

Oh, it'll give her a chance to cool off.

George? Geo... George, where are you?

Hello?

Oh, hello, mother.

Oh, the most terrible thing.

I just found out that George and I

may really not be legally married.

Isn't that just--

What?

You think it's wonderful?

So when she found out a flood had

ruined License and Records--

- Hi, Charlie.
- Uh-oh. There's Brenda.

Say, I made this liver
casserole for lunch.

But Shirley here has to leave.

Don't you, Shirley?

Huh?

Oh, yes, that's right.

And it's much too much for
just little whole me.

Why don't you join me?

Uh, yeah, some other time.

- Why didn't you go?
- Are you kidding?

They don't call her the great
white hunter for nothing.

I know what'd happen if I put
just one foot inside that door.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here...

That's all women are after,
they old double ring ceremony.

Ending up with one on her finger

and the other through some guy's nose.

There's nothing wrong
with marriage, Charlie.

Bite your tongue.

You don't know how lucky you are

having your marriage
wiped out by a flood.

If this ever gets out,
every husband in America

will be out on the street
doing a rain dance.

Look at you, free, no cuts, no alimony.

Your wife won't be able to
clean you out like mine did.

There you are, exhibit A
of American justice.

The court gave each of us three things.

Fair enough, right?

My wife got the house, the
car and the bank account.

[Charlie] I got a lamp and
a chair and a can opener.

This is all you have?

I tell you, we should ship all
the females in the world

to a desert island.

The human race will be
better off, believe me.

[George] But there wouldn't
be a human race, Charlie.

Where would all the children come from?

Easy, we'd adopt them.

I better get back, Mona will be waiting.

Will you relax?

Look, have a drink first.

It's George.

Mother?

My poor dear, what had
that beast done to you.

- Oh mother, I just--
- There, there, don't you cry.

We'll find you a nice new husband

who doesn't think of women
as just possession.

A right man of intellect.

I don't want a right man,
mother, I want George.

Honey, women are changing,
asserting themselves.

Some men call us monsters.

They don't understand.

We don't want to dominate men,
we just want to be equal.

And I'll flatten the first
guy who tries to stop us.

Now, look, you mustn't go back, George.

When you escape an accident
you don't lie down

in front of the car again, do you?

Charlie, Charlie, relax will ya?

I-I like being married.

Talk to him, would you?
He's just a kid.

Ah, who's the over the hill Jane Fonda?

- What do you want?
- I live here, remember?

Uh, not anymore you don't.

Thank you.

You can stay here till we find a
nice little pad of your own.

Look, Mona packed one of her
own nightgowns by mistake.

Mistake? Mistake nothing.

It's one of the oldest
tricks in the book.

She's trying to get you back.

With dirty fighting.

Who is it?

- Stanley.
- Come on up, Stanley.

One of the members of my
marriage anonymous group.

Marriage anonymous?

[Charlie] Yeah, I got
about 40 divorced guys.

You know, the minute they feel
tempted to get hitched again

they come over, I help
straighten them out.

To keep them from destroying
themselves all over again.

Listen, I've been seeing this blonde.

- She's gorgeous.
- Blonde.

- Yeah, gorgeous.
- And she's sweet.

- Sweet.
- And kind.

Kind, yeah, I know.
Now, easy now, Stanley.

Look, you're not alone.

We'll fight this terrible
thing together.

Uh-huh, and listen, she's got dimples.

Oh, they're so cute,
they're cute dimples.

She's got one here and
she's got one over here.

I know about the dimples,
Stanley, believe me.

You know these late night calls.

It's always dimply blondes.

Dimply blondes.

[George] Uh, what's that?

Tape record and pictures
of the battle axe

he was married to before.

Remind him of what's
lurking for backsliders.

And another thing, Stanley

you should at least have the decency

when you're with my mother.

[Charlie] And the in-laws.
Does that ring a bell, pal?

Stanley, we shall overcome.

- More black coffee?
- No, no.

Wanna run through the tape again?

Oh, no!
No, no, please, no more.

Now, you're gonna be cured.

Remember, you're stronger than they are.

I'm stronger than they are.

And single is what-what-what?

And single is beautiful.

I think you got it, Stanley.

Now, read the pamphlet again
and when you get home

two aspirins and a cold shower.

- Do you do this often?
- Ah, whenever I'm needed.

Aah, when ever I'm needed

in the service to mankind,
I also make house calls.

[George] House calls?

Yeah, you know, when a guy
gets trapped with bimbos

I break in, turn on the lights,
blow out the candles, pooh pooh

dump out the wine, and smash

all the Andre Kostelanetz records.

Mona, look, honey, can't we
work this out ourselves?

Without all these other
people in the way?

You know, it's still our anniversary.

- Grrr.
- Yeow!

I wonder why George and
Mona didn't come back

for the loveseat.

Maybe it was too expensive.

You know we should give
it to them, Harry.

How often do you see a couple
so crazy about each other?

What happened?

Mona locked me out.

And her dog's trying
to make it permanent.

[Charlie] I know how you feel, kid.

But the first day of withdrawal
from marriage is always rough.

Like quitting smoking or
any other bad habit.

That's funny.

Mona didn't pack any of my clean shirts.

Only my dirty ones.

Of course.
The... the old laundry gambit.

To remind you that she always
did your wash for you.

You know, you wouldn't believe
how many broads rope

a guy into marriage with a clothesline.

What do I do?

Use the laundry machines
in the basement.

Greatest bargain in the world.

For two bits, you strike a
blow for male liberation.

I still don't know what
we're doing here.

You wanna get a salad, don't you?

Well, this is where the action is.

The laundry room?

Beats going to social
club dances or bars.

Here every play is a prospect.

When a guy's doing his own laundry

he's on the open market.

But I've run our clothes
through eight times already.

They're almost threadbare.

Are all the machines taken?

It can't be.
He's the newly wed.

If he's here, he's up for grabs.

Just leave your things with me.

I'll throw them in with mine.

Oh, gee, you don't have to do that.

It's my pleasure.

I'll have them washed and
ironed in a couple of hours.

[Brenda] Come by my place at noon.

What kept you?
It's almost noon.

You know how fussy that
Chinese laundry is.

[Brenda gasps] Oh, that's him. Take off!

[Brenda] What's wrong?

You're gonna make such
a beautiful bride.

Hi.

It's gonna be beautiful.

Gosh, did you do all that?

Just finishing.

There.

My!

Just look at those broad shoulders.

I didn't expect you so soon.

I hate to have you see me like this.

I don't care what you look like.

Uh, I mean, uh, you-you-you
look great! Heh heh.

But I can look better.

Uh why don't I just get my shirts and...

What's the rush?

- I, uh--
- I hope you'll forgive me.

I'm really not ready for company.

You know, I've always
admired you from afar.

Those devilish eyes, that tiny nose

that kissable mouth.

How can one man have so much?

It's no more than anyone else has.

Eyes, nose, mouth.
It comes with every head.

I want you to know I'm
a very warm person.

I know. After ironing all those
shirts I would think so.

I wasn't talking about shirts.

Socks? Shorts?

The warmth I see feel comes from within.

- Maybe it's heartburn.
- It's love.

I-I gotta be going!

Relax, George.

I heard the whole story.
You're not married.

B-b-but I am

and somewhere there's a
water-soaked piece of paper

to prove it.

I know how you feel, honey,
but look on the bright side.

You now have an opportunity to
be a person in your own right.

Not just a sex symbol
to a possessive male.

But I love being a sex symbol.

Mona, there's a fine man
I want you to meet.

Miron, the doctor.

He won't treat you as a
woman, but as a human being.

But, mother, I still think that
George and I can have a--

Sweetheart, you're gonna have
to stop thinking about George.

I bet George isn't wasting any
time thinking about you.

No, you're wrong!

I know he's so lonely
staying with Charlie.

Sure.

Wait, you forgot your pajamas.

Hi, Mona.

Any questions?

Bring the doctor around, mother.

But first I'm gonna see a lawyer.

Mona, Mona, I can explain.

Very uncool, George!

And Mona never even gave me a
chance to explain, Charlie.

You're lucky.

She might've taken you back

and you'd be stuck with
her all over again.

That Brenda, That Brenda, her
whole apartment's a booby trap.

And you were the boob she
was trying to trap.

They're all alike.

We should put all the women in a rocket

and send them to moon.

Mona's going to see a lawyer.

The Alligators come out of the hub.

But there's the final gun.

And the Grizzlys have won

this riveting hardcore contest.

Seventy one to nothing.

Yes, sir, George, this is
the life. Just think, pal.

From now on you can watch all
the football games you want.

Yeah. Yeah.

[Charlie] And you'll have
your own little pad soon.

A nice little place just like this.

- Yeah.
- And you'll be like me.

You'll live like a king!

Hey, hey, you haven't eaten all day.

Hey, there's some nice
salami in the kitchen.

[Mona's mother] I'll go get Miron.

You two can have a nice lunch together.

Just promise me you won't
open this door to George

for any reason.

Alright. I promise.

We won't have to hold the loveseat

for the Perkins any longer, Harry.

Frances Griffi just told me it's kaput.

Mr. Boyle, I've come to
pick up that loveseat.

The loveseat?

But I just heard... Well,
that is... I mean--

I know, I know, it's been a
field day for everybody.

But that's over. Well, will
you help me deliver it?

After I make a change or two.

And I can use part of that too.

I don't know what you're up to, George

but I got a feeling I wanna be in on it.

Come on, King, we'll take a little walk.

- Who is it?
- Harry Boyle.

- I've got your loveseat here.
- But I didn't buy it.

Compliments of a friend.

Okay, Mac, give me a
hand to get it inside.

B-b-but I don't understand.

George!

I'll take him for a walk.

Come on, my little five-legged friend.

Now, see here, George Perkins

if you think you could sneak
in here and expect to...

What are you doing?

It's an idea I got from Charlie.

- I sawed it in half!
- But why?

It was so pretty.

Only when it was together, Mona.

But split apart it's nothing, is it?

- What's going on here?
- Oh, nothing.

Mona and George are
having a little talk.

George? Let me in there!

[Harry] Uh, sorry, but the
door seems to be jammed.

Mona, open up, I have Miron here.

George, I've got your laundry.

What's the idea of turning
her loose on him like that?

He's just a boy, she'll brutalize him.

That's right, they're probably
on each other's throat.

[Harry] They seem to be ripe.

You still got a chance, George.
I'll get you a pamphlet.

Have a car out front
with the motor running.

I'll leave his shirt here, Mona.

They're no good to me, empty.

But, Mona, look at what you're missing.

He's a B.A, M.A and a PhD.
Wouldn't it wonderful?

You could have separate
bedrooms separate vacation

separate everything!

What fun you could have together!

- You mean, he's available?
- That's right!

Oh, come on, it's my
roommate's birthday.

I promised her I'd bring her something.

You'll like her, she's great on laundry.

Wait. Mona, say something
intelligent, he'll come back.

Mom, I love you very much,
so try and understand.

Listen, you can help me
pick out my curtains

my drapes and furniture.

But I'm going to pick
out the kind of fella

who sits across the
breakfast table from me.

And I have... and it's him.

Now, let's see, Mona,
just where were we?

Oh, as I remember, somewhere over there.

Yep, we live in a crazy world.

If you're working on keeping
your marriage together

nobody notices.

But if you have the slightest problem

everybody jumps in to pull it apart.

But we'll be ready for them next time.

Huh, you'll never guess where we found

our marriage certificate.

It was in the dog's basket.

[Mona] I'll never understand
how it got there.

The important thing is not to
let silly, little arguments

blow up into big ones.

- Right, Harry?
- Absolutely.

Incidentally, where is our
marriage certificate?

[Irma] I used to keep it right here.

- Oh, relax, honey.
- Relax?

Aren't you interested Harry?
What if it's lost?

- Irma, if you just--
- What if there's no record?

We have children, you know.
Or don't you care about them?

[Harry] Irma, I--

[Irma] Obviously, that
isn't important to you.

Well, if it isn't important to
you it isn't important to me.

- After 25 years, I should've--
- Here.

Oh, it's the marriage certificate.

And you had it framed!

I had it done because I knew
you'd be looking for it.

Oh, Harry, I love you!