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1
00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:03,670
Harry, I've been thinking.
2
00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:04,838
You're a man of integrity.
3
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,507
- And I admire that.
- Thanks.
4
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,009
You don't wanna sue because
you're not really hurt, right?
5
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,135
Right.
6
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,887
Well, I've come up with a solution.
7
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,305
Hurt him, Whittaker.
8
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,641
- Hai! Hai!
- What the...
9
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,852
Boing
10
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:19,853
thud
11
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,438
No. No. Hey, wait. No, no!
12
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,357
Ow! Ooh, ooh. Take it easy.
13
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,317
Ah! Eeh! Ah!
14
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,360
Swoosh
15
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,195
twang
16
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,905
Oh, my arm.
17
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,866
Good work, Sergeant Whittaker.
Neat. Very neat.
18
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,409
There may be an extra stripe
on your arm for this.
19
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,997
Just one?
I'd be happy to go for two. Hai!
20
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,000
Be steady, Whitaker.
Knock it off.
21
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,835
Well, Harry, your problem is solved.
22
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,713
Now you can sue that hotel
with a clear conscience.
23
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,011
[theme song]
24
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:58,642
♪ I love my mom and dad
and my brothers too ♪
25
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,187
♪ And the groovy way
we get along ♪
26
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,607
♪ Every time the slightest
little thing goes wrong ♪
27
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,902
♪ Mom starts to sing
this familiar song ♪
28
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,029
♪ Wait till your father gets ♪
29
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,322
♪ Until your father gets ♪
30
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,784
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
31
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,745
♪ Dad's not so bad
and he seldom gets mad ♪
32
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:22,456
♪ And we aren't
about to desert him ♪
33
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,377
♪ Kids today
like to have their own way ♪
34
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,922
♪ And what daddy doesn't know
won't hurt him ♪
35
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,840
♪ I think my mom's just swell ♪
36
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,551
♪ But she starts to yell ♪
37
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,554
♪ Every time we have a fuss ♪
38
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,432
♪ Just wait till
your father gets ♪
39
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,975
♪ Until your father gets ♪
40
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,060
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
41
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,312
♪ See what I mean ♪
42
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,688
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
43
00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,399
♪ We know ♪♪
44
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,410
♪♪
45
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,751
[Harry] Irma?
46
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:09,963
What is this $85 bill
from Natasha Pawlowski.
47
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,966
Oh! That's Alice's ballet teacher.
48
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:17,846
It's $65 for lessons
and $20 for her tutu.
49
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,474
Tutu?
50
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,768
The ballet skirts are called tutu.
51
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,312
- Didn't you know that?
- No, I didn't.
52
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,938
And furthermore, I'm not too crazy
53
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:30,567
about building up my vocabulary
at $20 a word either.
54
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,821
Halt.
55
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,657
How could you mange to
spend $34 in one month
56
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,576
on gasoline for your motorcycle?
57
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,453
Now, Harry, calm down.
58
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,873
And this bill for $32.50 from
Singer's department store.
59
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,291
You have enough clothes!
60
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,543
When are you gonna give
your credit card a rest?
61
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:52,005
The $32.50 was for a
pair of imported slacks
62
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,632
that I bought for you, dear.
63
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,175
- Huh?
- They are very becoming.
64
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:59,721
You're a handsome man and I
just wanted you to look nice.
65
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,808
Oh, Irma, that's fighting dirty.
66
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,685
One time a month, I have an excuse
67
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,312
to yell at you and-and you blow it.
68
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,440
Mwah
69
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,235
Well, I guess it's really not that bad.
70
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,404
We didn't spend more
than I made this month.
71
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,198
And very few Americans can
make that statement.
72
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,326
Well, uh, Harry, there
is one other thing.
73
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,536
What?
74
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,538
I took Jamie to the orthodontist today
75
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,542
and he definitely needs braces.
76
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,544
How much is it gonna cost?
77
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,044
Come into the kitchen, dear
78
00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:34,131
and I'll fix you a cup of coffee.
79
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,177
Six hundred dollars?
80
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:42,013
You want Jamie to have a
nice smile, don't you?
81
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,351
For $600, that dentist is gonna
have one heck of a smile too.
82
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,603
- Harry--
- Alright. Alright.
83
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,898
I'll think about it.
It's not an emergency, is it?
84
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,360
No. But now seems like a good time.
85
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,655
You've had such a good month.
You broke even.
86
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,324
Gulp
87
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,910
[indistinct chatter]
88
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,706
Over here, Harry.
89
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,708
What's with the fancy pants, Harry?
90
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,877
You joined the Gay Liberation Movement?
91
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,380
- Uh, Irma bought it for me.
- Oh, you look gorgeous.
92
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,924
Too bad she didn't buy you a
matching purse. He he he.
93
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,635
Okay, okay.
Now, what's the occasion?
94
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,178
How come you're buying me lunch?
95
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,722
Alright, get ready.
Hold on, Harry.
96
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,432
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
97
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,142
I spoke to the membership committee
98
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,560
of our vigilante group
99
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,605
and they've agreed to let you join.
100
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,064
Sorry, I'm not interested.
101
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,193
But Harry, us decent people
have to band together.
102
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,819
It's the only way we
can get a fair voice
103
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,154
in runnin' the country.
104
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,072
There's another way.
It's called election.
105
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,408
Elections!
You call that fair?
106
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,410
When they let just everybody vote?
107
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,288
Would you excuse me a minute, Ralph?
108
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,832
I just remembered I had
to call the office.
109
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,250
Squeak squeak squeak
110
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,419
splat
111
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,464
bam
112
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,053
Don't get up, Harry.
Don't get up, just lay there.
113
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,178
What?
114
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,516
Hunch your back.
Look hurt.
115
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,228
My, my back? Look at my pants.
They're ripped.
116
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,021
I'm an attorney.
I saw that.
117
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,148
- Here's my card.
- No, no, take, take my card.
118
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,775
You don't look at all well, sir.
119
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,276
Better get back down on the floor.
120
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,529
Definitely, negligence.
Should be worth a 1 000 easy.
121
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:24,199
- What 1 000? 5000.
- Forget it, fellas. I'm okay.
122
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,576
All I need is something to pin
up this hole in my pants.
123
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,162
But you could clean up. They'd
probably got complete coverage.
124
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,331
But I'm not interested
in their coverage.
125
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,958
Just in mine.
126
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,169
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
127
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,213
Imagine slipping on a
negligent pad of butter
128
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,422
in front of a 100 lawyers.
129
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,091
It's the great American dream.
130
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,676
I'll settle for what I've got.
131
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:46,805
Namely a great excuse not to
have to wear these crazy pants.
132
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:47,764
[car honking]
133
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,932
Hey, Ralph, where are you taking me?
134
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:49,891
To a doctor.
135
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,642
But I told you I feel fine.
136
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:54,938
And feeling fine is the classic
symptom of severe shock.
137
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,731
I mean it.
It could be serious, Harry.
138
00:05:56,857 --> 00:06:00,527
Whiplash! You know butter is
one of our big killers today?
139
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,782
[tires screeching]
140
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,200
- Now hold it.
- It's okay.
141
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,119
I'm commander Ralph Kane, company B.
142
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,370
The password is Sassafras.
143
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,248
Oh, it's alright.
Pass.
144
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,333
What kind of a doctor
are you taking me to?
145
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,128
A vigilante doctor. The best.
146
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,884
- Well?
- It's bad news, Mr. Boyle.
147
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,218
Very bad.
148
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:29,639
Do you have a family?
Why is it always the good men?
149
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,142
- Why? Why?
- W-what is it?
150
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,769
Please, sit down.
151
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,732
I could give you a lot of empty
phrases and false hopes.
152
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:42,569
But I think you've got the kind
of stuff to take it straight.
153
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,572
Okay. Go ahead. What is it?
154
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,366
I'm afraid it's nothin'.
155
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,911
- Nothing?
- Yep. You get zero.
156
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,246
I've done all that
medical science can do
157
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,539
but still I failed.
158
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,832
I can't find one
159
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,291
fool thing wrong with you.
160
00:06:57,416 --> 00:07:00,211
But, doc he did slip in
front of a 100 witnesses
161
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,588
in an insured restaurant
162
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,882
a heavily insured restaurant.
163
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:04,966
I know.
164
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,384
Please, don't make it any rough
165
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,053
on me than it already is.
166
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,930
Do you think I enjoy this?
167
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,264
Do you think I take pleasure
168
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,059
in having to tell this
man, that he's healthy?
169
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:19,564
That all his dreams, his
future, everything gone!
170
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,484
And these hands.
171
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,111
These hands, despite all their skill
172
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,238
can do absolutely nothing?
173
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,160
Do you think you could
live with that? Do you?
174
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,956
Hey, sorry, doc, I know you
did all anyone could.
175
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,374
Yeah. Yeah.
176
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:42,671
Perhaps someday with research,
new drugs, new techniques...
177
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,174
- Wait a minute. Lloyd Isaacs.
- 'Lloyd Isaacs'?
178
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,301
Remember he had the same
symptoms as Harry here
179
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,178
yet you were able to help him.
180
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,055
Yeah! Yeah!
181
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,145
You're right.
He had your exact same trouble.
182
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,438
Everything was normal.
183
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,108
And we can help you just
like we helped him.
184
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,735
- I-I don't think--
- Oh, this is beautiful.
185
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,196
Nothing that can't be disproved.
186
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,574
Any perforated sciatic
nerve, untraceable spasms
187
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,452
and the ever popular lower back pain.
188
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,121
How did I ever forget?
189
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,040
You hear Harry?
You got a chance.
190
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,458
Normality can't be caught.
191
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,003
Alright, let's get something straight.
192
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:28,133
Me Harry. Me good boy.
Me go now.
193
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,636
Do you realize what you're passin' up?
194
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,804
This Isaacs guy was as healthy as you.
195
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:35,223
Yet he collected a 100 grand.
196
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,976
He took up his fast
cars with race horses
197
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,270
with champagne, with dancing girls.
198
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,939
A nonstop party for six months.
199
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,357
He was really living.
200
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,235
- Then what happened?
- Figure it out.
201
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,154
You're standing next to him.
202
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,367
What a pleasure to get
home and finally away
203
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,285
from nutty people, who're
interested only in
204
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,705
what money might come
out of my accident.
205
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,292
Irma?
206
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,045
- What is it?
- Oh, nothing.
207
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,880
I was just thinking.
208
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,758
I mean, if the hotel was at fault
209
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,677
and you did have a painful fall...
210
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,472
Oh, not you too.
211
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,183
Alice, maybe you can
explain to your mother...
212
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,936
See, he's irritable, caused by a
brain concussion from his fall.
213
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,563
We can testify in court.
214
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,982
Harry, we only want you
to do what's right.
215
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:29,319
But a little settlement would help.
216
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,447
You know with Jamie's
orthodonture coming up.
217
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,990
I'll pay for it myself.
218
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:37,410
His teeth maybe crooked, but
the money doesn't have to be.
219
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,496
[barking]
220
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,540
Remember me?
221
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,542
Ah, from the glint in your
eye, you're the lawyer--
222
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,461
Who witnessed your tragic accident
223
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,672
on the negligent butter in the
heavily insured restaurant.
224
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:50,924
Well, if you wanna know the truth--
225
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,093
I'm interested only in justice.
226
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,636
Aren't they the same?
227
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,723
We'll make a very simple agreement.
228
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,100
Whatever money we win in court
229
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,519
you take half, and I'll take half.
230
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,604
And if I get a jail sentence for fraud
231
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,856
will you take half of that too?
232
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,612
Boy I must say, you're very persistent.
233
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,448
The way I see it, we'll
start in a lower court.
234
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,826
- Oh, speaking of lower...
- Yes, of course.
235
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,955
It's been a very pleasant
day, Mr. Lawsuit
236
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,332
but I-I don't think we can
do business together.
237
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,502
Keep an open mind.
Uh, may I use your phone?
238
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,338
I'm sure we could collect
at least $25000.
239
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,508
Twenty five thousand Dollars!
240
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,427
That sure would make my
newspaper route easier.
241
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:48,606
I could go to New York and
become a Prima ballerina.
242
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,109
♪♪
243
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,030
Smash
244
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,242
[crowd cheering]
245
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,578
Man, with all that loot, I
could be king of the beach.
246
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,247
[motor rumbling]
247
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,500
[girls giggling]
248
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,844
fff
249
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,220
slurp
250
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:23,808
Thank you, Mr. Boyle.
Let me know what you decide.
251
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,602
Here's my card again.
252
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,730
Boy, this family.
253
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,732
They're as subtle as a train wreck.
254
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,941
Irma, tell me something.
255
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,401
Am I wrong about not wanting
256
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,569
to sue that restaurant?
257
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,654
You know best, dear.
258
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,574
I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
259
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,994
- What's this?
- The mail that came today?
260
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,537
You know, It sure looks like
261
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,081
it's all bills, doesn't it, Harry?
262
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,469
[upbeat music]
263
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,473
Psst!
264
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,727
Psst! Psst! Psst!
265
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,023
Did I leave the sprinklers on?
266
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,566
[Ralph] Don't turn around, Harry.
267
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,401
Just keep looking straight ahead.
268
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,237
Ralph, what are you doing there, anyway?
269
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,572
Those insurance companies are smart.
270
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,407
I'm sure they have high powered cameras
271
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,450
trained on you right now.
272
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,868
Oh, for crying out loud.
273
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,370
That's the way they work.
274
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,080
They get pictures to show you're healthy
275
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,165
and your lawyer can't
even lie to the jury.
276
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,833
Don't make any fast
moves and wince a lot.
277
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,296
Ralph, I once told you to
leave your brain to science.
278
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,465
Don't.
It will only confuse 'em.
279
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,972
Oh, well.
Hi, there, neighbor.
280
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,309
You shouldn't be doing that
with your broken back
281
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,937
and sprained ankle.
282
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:53,481
Don't look, Harry. They're out
there. They're out there.
283
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,400
Will you leave me alone?
I'm fine!
284
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,902
You're blowin' our case.
285
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,030
Uh, the pain has affected
the poor man's thinkin'.
286
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,283
The doctor told you not to mow the lawn
287
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,034
on those shattered legs.
288
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,244
Ralph.
289
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,621
Here let me help you with your broken
290
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,790
and torture wrecked body.
291
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,419
I wouldn't want you to fall
and do yourself a damage.
292
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,671
Don't walk, Harry.
Limp, limp.
293
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,591
Pull up the box of ammo and sit down.
294
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,973
Have you decided to come to your
senses about that lawsuit?
295
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,641
You'll be happy to hear
that I've decided
296
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,809
to call the insurance company
and put in a claim.
297
00:13:30,934 --> 00:13:33,396
Now, you're talking like
a true blue American.
298
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:36,149
I'm asking for six dollars and 45 cents.
299
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,692
Good. Then you can... Huh?
300
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,153
Six dollars and forty five cents?
301
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,779
The cost of fixing my pants.
302
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,948
Harry, if you don't want
the money for yourself
303
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,283
think of your country.
304
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,660
My country? What has America
got to do with this?
305
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:51,622
With that money, the vigilantes
can buy bazookas, motors, tanks.
306
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,624
We can be on the beach ready
and waitin' to fight off
307
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,793
the Russkies when they try to invade.
308
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:56,961
You're nuts, Ralph.
309
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,255
Okay, settle for the six bucks.
310
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,342
So, me and the vigilantes
don't get our weapons.
311
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,386
But when America falls, Harry Boyle
312
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,513
I want you to know it's your fault.
313
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,932
Ralph, all I did was tear my pants.
314
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,434
I'm not suing for an imaginary injury.
315
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:14,812
Bash
316
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,064
Ow!
317
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,068
Phew!
318
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,572
Now, what?
319
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,699
You brought the last of
the red hot militants
320
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,242
to argue your cause?
321
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,786
Harry, I've been thinking.
322
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,205
You're a man of integrity
and I admire that.
323
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,289
Thanks.
324
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,415
You don't wanna sue because you're
325
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,541
not really hurt, right?
326
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,667
Right.
327
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,669
Well, I've come up with a solution.
328
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,129
Hurt him, Whittaker.
329
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,756
Hai! Hai!
330
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:42,924
What the...
331
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,551
Boing
332
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,886
thud
333
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,931
No! Wait! No, no!
Ow! Ooh, ooh. Take it easy.
334
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,183
Ah! Eeh! Ah!
335
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,267
Swoosh
336
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,977
crash
337
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,729
Oh, my arm.
338
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,690
Good work, Sergeant Whittaker.
Neat. Very neat.
339
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,235
There may be an extra stripe
on your arm for this.
340
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,822
Just one? I'd be happy
to go for two. Hai!
341
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,699
Be steady, Whittaker.
Knock it off.
342
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,535
Well, Harry, your problem is solved.
343
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,538
Now, you can sue that hotel
with a clear conscience.
344
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,544
- Does it hurt, Harry?
- Not as much as my pride.
345
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,838
It doesn't help a man's
ego to be beaten up
346
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,924
by a 70 year old woman
in surgical stockings.
347
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,260
And my big shot watch dog.
348
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,887
Where were you when I
was being attacked?
349
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:30,930
[yawning]
350
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,891
[door bell ringing]
351
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,768
How do you do?
I'm Donald Parks.
352
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,604
Insurance adjuster for the
Mutual Casualty company.
353
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,148
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
354
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,607
Sit down. Ooh! Oh!
355
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,861
Oh-oh, come on, Mr. Boyle,
you're not going to give me
356
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,321
that cameo routine, are you?
357
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,907
I mean, all this phony
suffering and pain.
358
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,369
I can see that obviously,
home made sling on your arm.
359
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,996
I am wearing this home made sling
360
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,747
because I happen to have a sprained arm.
361
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,374
Of course, of course.
362
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,168
How come you overlooked the neck brace?
363
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,711
And the hip length cast on your leg?
364
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,754
Look, are we gonna get down
to business or aren't we?
365
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,382
That's what I'm here for.
Now, let's see.
366
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,719
How's about settling for a
nice round figure of $500?
367
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:12,555
That's not the figure I had in mind.
368
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,892
Look, Mr. Boyle, I'm a very busy man.
369
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:19,437
Next to baseball, suing seems
to be the national past time.
370
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,565
Let's close it here and now, I
am willing to go to a 1 000.
371
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,650
Now you listen a minute,
instead of coming up
372
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:25,943
with those ridiculous figures?
373
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,489
Oh, one of those, eh?
Shooting for the moon.
374
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,532
Alright, I'll break company policy
375
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,784
and take it upon myself to go to 3000.
376
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,370
Mr. Parks, I know exactly what I want.
377
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,248
Five thousand and that's my final offer.
378
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,791
Well...
379
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,752
I'll be by first thing in the
morning with the check.
380
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,838
Good day, Mr. Boyle.
You drive a hard bargain.
381
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,966
What am I supposed to do?
382
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,969
You try to get six dollars
and forty five cents.
383
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,721
And they make nothing but trouble.
384
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,684
That money can pay for a
lot of things we need.
385
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,978
Besides Jamie's orthodonture work
386
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,607
we have been talking about
repainting the house and also--
387
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,319
I know. I know.
But, it just doesn't seem right.
388
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,529
That's a lot of bread.
389
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,531
And you're not really lying, papa.
390
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,282
You tried telling the man the truth
391
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,534
he just wouldn't listen.
392
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,035
Oh, I don't know.
393
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,037
Everything you say makes sense
394
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,164
and yet it doesn't make sense.
395
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,375
I gotta take a walk and think this out.
396
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,669
[barking]
397
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,046
No, you can't go with
me this time, Julius.
398
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,590
This trip's for my problem.
399
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,800
[door opens and closes]
400
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,888
I can't take the money.
It isn't honest.
401
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:41,018
You're absolutely right, Harry.
402
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:45,356
"Honesty is the best policy."
403
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:50,361
"Honesty is the best policy."
What a corn ball that guy is.
404
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,571
A regular Lawrence Welk!
405
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,323
Don't listen to him.
406
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,493
You've been honest all your life.
407
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,704
Harry, you're 47 years old.
408
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,747
You've worked like a
horse all your life.
409
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,165
And all you got to show for it
410
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:06,460
is a large mortgage, and fallen arches.
411
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,170
Well, you've got a point there.
412
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,092
You mustn't do it, Harry.
413
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:16,429
You'll only end up living where he does.
414
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,681
Hey, it looks like rain.
415
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,225
Bam
416
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:27,231
You tricked me.
You didn't fight fair.
417
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,443
I'm a devil. How fair you
expect me to fight?
418
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,653
Now, listen to me, Harry. Wise up.
419
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,948
Everybody does it.
Take the money.
420
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,244
I've decided to take the money, Irma.
421
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,663
Well, what made you change your mind?
422
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,332
Well, I did a lot of thinking.
423
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,001
Everybody else grabs from
the insurance companies.
424
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,295
Why should I be Mr. Integrity?
425
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,547
[Irma] Well, it'll help
us pay some bills.
426
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,717
[Harry] Right. It's time we
got on the gravy train.
427
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,636
♪♪
428
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,220
[Jamie groaning]
429
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,893
- Jamie, what happened?
- Don't worry, pop.
430
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,603
I'm just rehearsing.
431
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,314
What're you talking about?
432
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,273
You know the Harpers down the block?
433
00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:12,359
I tripped on their kid's skate board.
434
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,654
- How did you do that?
- It wasn't easy.
435
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:18,032
I waited for two hours for him
to leave it on the sidewalk.
436
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,952
- You did it intentionally?
- You'd have been proud, pop.
437
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,830
[Jamie] I was rolling
around like Marlon Brando.
438
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,207
Oh, Jamie, listen--
439
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:29,085
I got the name of their
insurance company.
440
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,128
Do you think I ought
to hire your lawyer?
441
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,173
Or should I go all out and
try for Melvin Belli?
442
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,840
Jamie, you can't be serious.
443
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:39,220
I'm an innocent looking
seven-year-old kid.
444
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,430
What jury wouldn't believe me?
445
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:45,351
If you can get five grand.
I'm good for a fortune.
446
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:49,230
Thanks to you, pop. This
family's really going places.
447
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,734
♪♪
448
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,532
[snoring]
449
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,243
[Jamie] This family's
really going places.
450
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,994
This family's really going places.
451
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,295
Is everybody ready?
452
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,172
Right, ma, let's go.
453
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,885
[tires screeching]
454
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,138
Bam
455
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,808
♪♪
456
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,145
[Irma] Good boy.
457
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,231
[horn blaring]
458
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,276
Bow wow wow
459
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,238
[Jamie] Good doggie.
460
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:45,703
[horn honks]
461
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,622
Good girl.
462
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,084
We ought to get at least to
20 G's settlement on that.
463
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,712
Knock knock knock
464
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,883
I'll take that, widow Brown.
465
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,427
And here's the deed for your oil well.
466
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:02,845
You're doing the right thing
467
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,013
trusting me with your life savings.
468
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,766
He he he!
469
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,477
Where's Big Chet?
470
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,563
He had a stop to make a
withdrawal at the bank.
471
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,191
[alarm ringing]
472
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,068
[Irma] That's my boy.
473
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,405
[tires screeching]
474
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,700
You all did beautiful.
475
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,203
This family is really going places.
476
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,955
And we owe it all to the
example set by him.
477
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,125
Our beloved godfather.
478
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,215
It's late.
479
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,675
You don't think that insurance guy
480
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,385
changed his mind, do you, mom?
481
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:46,972
I already got an estimate
on repainting the house.
482
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:49,141
And it's a little more than I expected.
483
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:53,354
But with the extra money coming,
it won't be any problem.
484
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,522
[door bell ringing]
485
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,023
That must be him.
486
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,068
Hi, come on in.
487
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:01,654
Good morning, Mr. Boyle.
488
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,446
- Morning.
- Here's your check.
489
00:22:03,571 --> 00:22:05,532
I'm certainly glad we
could bring this matter
490
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,160
to a satisfactory...
491
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,621
Harry, what are you doing?
492
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:13,290
What does it look like I'm doing?
I'm tearing up the check.
493
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,126
- I don't understand.
- The case is closed.
494
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,420
I wasn't hurt and I
don't want your money.
495
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,130
Goodbye.
496
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,840
An honest man.
497
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:23,968
I hope this isn't contagious.
498
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:28,305
It could put me out of a job.
499
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:33,644
- Pop, what got into you?
- It's very simple.
500
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,855
I decided to go back to being a father
501
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,107
and set an example for my family.
502
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,776
If you want money, you earn it honestly.
503
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:44,530
You don't cheat, and you
kids remember that, always.
504
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,323
Yes, papa.
505
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,117
I couldn't do it, Irma.
506
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:50,828
I'd guess I knew all along you wouldn't.
507
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:53,455
But yesterday for a little while
508
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:57,417
you were ready to take the
money, Harry. How come?
509
00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:01,755
You won't believe it, Irma,
but the devil made me do it.
510
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,883
[laughing]
511
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,846
Oh, I knew you'd come through.
512
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,265
I'm proud of you, Harry.
513
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,349
Thanks.
514
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:15,936
A virtuous man is a happy man.
515
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,439
A clear conscience is better
516
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:22,234
than all the riches in the world.
517
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,070
You know something, you're a nice guy
518
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,821
and a great influence.
519
00:23:26,946 --> 00:23:29,657
But the devil is right about one thing
520
00:23:29,782 --> 00:23:32,119
you are a corn ball.
521
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,376
[theme music]
37911
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