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1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,839
Now, let's see.
How-how do I start?
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,759
You tie that little rubber
thing around the arm.
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,219
Oh, thank you.
4
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,556
- My arm.
- Sorry.
5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,683
Everybody else gets Chad Everett.
6
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,268
I had to get him.
7
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,648
We finally found the vein.
8
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,067
It's coming out.
9
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,153
I thought you wanted a sample, I
didn't ask you to fill her up.
10
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,614
Don't look, Mr. Boyle.
11
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:31,907
Sometimes the sight of blood
12
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,450
makes the patient faint.
13
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,621
Boing
14
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,790
Nurse! Nurse!
15
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,709
toink
16
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,636
♪ I love my mom and dad
and my brothers too ♪
17
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,139
♪ And the groovy way
we get along ♪
18
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:59,935
♪ But every time the slightest
little thing goes wrong ♪
19
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,980
♪ Mom starts to sing
this familiar song ♪
20
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,650
♪ Wait till your father gets
until your father gets ♪
21
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,944
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
22
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:13,072
♪ Dad's not so bad
and he seldom gets mad ♪
23
00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:16,618
♪ And we aren't
about to desert him ♪
24
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,830
♪ Kids today like to have
their own way ♪
25
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:23,125
♪ And what daddy doesn't know
won't hurt him ♪
26
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,209
♪ I think my mom's
just swell ♪
27
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,920
♪ But she starts to yell ♪
28
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,756
♪ Every time we have a blast ♪
29
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,718
♪ Just wait till
your father gets ♪
30
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,136
♪ Until your father gets ♪
31
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,221
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
32
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,556
♪ See what I mean ♪
33
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,975
♪ Wait till your father
gets home ♪
34
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,685
♪ We know ♪♪
35
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,369
Screech
36
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,997
rizzz
37
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,459
Hey, what's goin' on?
You're blocking my driveway.
38
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,793
Don't blame us, Mac.
39
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,919
The city tells us to dig, we dig.
40
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,214
There must be a guy at
city hall who says
41
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,133
"Let's find a street that's
paved and make a hole in it."
42
00:02:14,258 --> 00:02:16,928
rizzz
43
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,514
I know I'm eight days
behind on deliveries
44
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,392
but the dock strike was
just settled yesterday.
45
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,810
Your order will go out
46
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,355
as soon as my driver gets
back with the truck.
47
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,898
Screech
48
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:28,899
crash
49
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,442
He just got back.
50
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,490
How could you miss that hole?
51
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,075
Ha ha ha, he didn't.
52
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,452
Swiveled right into it.
53
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,580
- Well, so long, Mac.
- Where're you going?
54
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,332
We found out they gave
us the wrong street.
55
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,876
We're supposed to be digging
up Fourth and Main.
56
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,669
Well, no harm done.
57
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,841
Good, you're home.
58
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,468
You've got to talk to your daughter.
59
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,053
She won't listen to me.
60
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,764
Please, Irma.
Don't hit me with any crisis.
61
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,809
I had more troubles today than
Howard Hughes has hideouts.
62
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,812
- I don't know why I can't go.
- Go where?
63
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:10,148
She and her girlfriend Ria
wanna go up to the mountains
64
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,234
this weekend with a couple of boys.
65
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,695
- What?
- It's just a camping trip.
66
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,947
We'll have our tent and
they'll have theirs.
67
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,073
Forget it.
68
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,617
Didn't you go away with
girls when you were young?
69
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,203
Uh-huh. And that's why you're not going.
70
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,913
You're as bad as mama.
71
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,082
What's wrong with parents today?
72
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,376
I'll tell you what's wrong
with parents today.
73
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,794
We had children yesterday.
74
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,169
I never have any fun.
75
00:03:32,294 --> 00:03:35,006
You drive me up the wall when
I come home every night.
76
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,299
Isn't that enjoyment enough?
77
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,218
Now will you stop bugging
me and let me...
78
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,345
Oh! Ah!
79
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,139
Harry!
80
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,265
Harry!
81
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,393
Does it still hurt?
82
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,770
Yeah, right in the pit of my stomach.
83
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,439
Maybe dad has an ulcer.
84
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,732
Don't be silly, Jamie.
85
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,734
People only get ulcers from tension.
86
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,695
What tensions does papa have?
87
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,697
Maybe I better call the doctor.
88
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,950
Oh, it's not that bad.
I-I don't need a doctor.
89
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,953
Hey, great news, pop.
90
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,371
I just had an interview for a job
91
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,623
at Donovan's employment agency.
92
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,376
- Any luck?
- Yeah. They turned me down.
93
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,587
Irma, call the doctor.
94
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,258
Dr. Lowell, please.
95
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,718
This is a recording.
96
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,928
Dr. Lowell is on a Caribbean cruise.
97
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:26,641
Please call his associate
Dr. Bowman at 555-4191.
98
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,854
Dr. Bowman is at a bridge
tournament in Honolulu.
99
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:36,026
Please call his standby
Dr. Parks at 555-6659.
100
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,238
Dr. Parks is on an
elephant safari in Kenya.
101
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,907
Taking his calls is Dr. Frank
102
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784
who can be reached at municipal court.
103
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,745
He's being sued for malpractice.
104
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:50,248
- This is ridiculous.
- Now, Harry, calm down.
105
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,168
Doctors are very busy men these days.
106
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,212
Yeah, making recordings.
107
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,130
The last one I didn't believe.
108
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,716
A tape telling you to take two aspirins.
109
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,219
Now, honey, I'm sure we'll--
110
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,137
Dr. Shane?
111
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,889
How did you ever get through to me?
112
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:09,059
Harry, I've reached a doctor!
113
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,560
A real live one?
114
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,230
He doesn't spin around on a turntable?
115
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,648
This is Mrs. Boyle.
116
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,900
My husband has a bad stomach ache.
117
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,319
And I was wondering if
you could come over.
118
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,238
I'm sorry, I don't make house calls.
119
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,740
He doesn't make house calls.
120
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,368
Ask him if he'll meet me
in front of a drug store.
121
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,996
Dr. Shane, this is an emergency.
122
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,332
Oh, emergency, huh?
123
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,501
How about the second
Tuesday of next month?
124
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,128
Please, he's suffering.
125
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,550
Alright, have him come to
my office tomorrow. Bye.
126
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,468
I still don't know how she reached me.
127
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,803
I've got to switch to an
unlisted tape recorder.
128
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,307
Just strip down to your shorts.
129
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,892
The doctor will be with
you in a few minutes.
130
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:54,229
A few minutes?
131
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,523
It's been over an hour.
132
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,984
They have it timed perfectly here.
133
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:02,153
The doctor doesn't get here
till you catch pneumonia.
134
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,823
Then they're sure of a serious case.
135
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,702
Well, well, how are we this morning?
136
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,329
Lousy, and it's the afternoon.
137
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,665
Oh. I've been running a little late.
138
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,875
Oh that's alright.
139
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,085
I've been keeping busy, turning blue.
140
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,338
Stomach problems, hmm?
141
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,923
Exactly where does it hurt?
142
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,508
Well, it's right around--
143
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:25,927
Excuse me.
144
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,303
Hello?
145
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,514
Oh yes. Uh-huh.
146
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,933
Hundred thousand down and a
seven percent mortgage?
147
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,519
That's an even better deal than
my apartment house, grab it.
148
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,438
I need another tax shelter.
149
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,648
Now, where did you say the pain was?
150
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,815
Right here in the--
151
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,777
Excuse me.
152
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,154
Hello?
153
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,863
Three hundred acres near Bakersfield?
154
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:49,242
Make a bid. I hear they're gonna
zone it for heavy industry.
155
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,036
Now where are you getting
these chest pains?
156
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,204
- Stomach.
- Oh. Tell you what.
157
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,123
We'll shoot you into a
hospital for a couple days
158
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,833
and run a complete series of tests.
159
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,669
[Harry] A hospital? But my business!
160
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,005
A man shouldn't just think of business.
161
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:06,343
Penthouse Gardens hospital?
Dr. Shane.
162
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,763
I wanna reserve a private
room for a Mr. Harry Boyle.
163
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,015
- Private room?
- Mm-hmm.
164
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,809
I hate to go into wards.
It depresses me.
165
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,770
But that's expensive.
166
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,355
What are you worried about?
167
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,982
All my patients get a
five percent discount.
168
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,609
I own the hospital.
169
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,698
[Irma] I think your Chinese silk
robe would be just right, dear.
170
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,742
Irma, I didn't even wear anything
171
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,327
that fancy on our honeymoon.
172
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,663
But people are gonna be seeing you.
173
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,289
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
174
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,667
Marcus Welby might be dropping in.
175
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,045
I ought to throw in your
navy blue sports jacket.
176
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,463
I'm just going to the hospital.
177
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,256
I'm not going sailing in Newport.
178
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,510
You're right. I'll put
in your plaid blazer.
179
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,097
This is great.
180
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,433
I'm going in for a stomach test,
I'm gonna end up with a hernia.
181
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,188
[Irma] Just relax. I'll drive, honey.
182
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,901
Harry, I just heard the news.
Chin up, fella.
183
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,069
Thanks, Ralph.
184
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,654
Is it incurable?
185
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,406
I'm just going in for a check up.
186
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,491
That's what they always tell ya.
187
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,076
I believe when the case is fatal
188
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,285
the doctor should level with ya.
189
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,579
Gives you a chance to get
your affairs in order.
190
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,248
Bye, Ralph.
191
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,374
But don't worry, fella.
192
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,085
If you don't come back,
I wanna buy your car.
193
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,931
We're giving you Room 301, Mr. Boyle.
194
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,099
Now, before you check in
195
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,351
there are just a few forms to sign.
196
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,477
Okay.
197
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,645
Right here.
198
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,814
And here.
199
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,150
And here.
200
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,152
And here.
201
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,362
And here.
202
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:55,452
I feel so silly.
I can walk by myself.
203
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,162
Hospital regulations.
204
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,290
The moment you checked in, you
became our responsibility.
205
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,333
We can't take any chances of
you having any accidents.
206
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,715
Ow!
207
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,471
I'm sure you'll be very
comfortable here.
208
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,766
This console automatically
controls everything.
209
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,477
TV remote, different
positions for your bed
210
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:24,314
air conditioning, day nurse,
night nurse, emergency oxygen.
211
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,940
Who can remember all that?
212
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:29,027
I'm just a patient, not the
pilot of a jumbo jet.
213
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,529
You'll get the hang of it.
214
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,532
Oh, by the way, if you want me, yell.
215
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,201
I don't have a button.
216
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,038
I guess I better go now.
217
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,416
- Goodbye, honey.
- Bye.
218
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,835
The children and I will
visit you tonight.
219
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,671
Uh, is there anything I can bring you?
220
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,924
Yeah, a new suitcase.
221
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,763
Welcome to Penthouse Gardens
Hospital, Mr. Boyle.
222
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,808
- And how are we feeling today?
- Well, I--
223
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,894
Helen, guess who just checked
in to the next room?
224
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,604
Caesar Renaldi.
225
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,315
The Italian movie star?
226
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,567
Nurse? Nurse?
227
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:15,323
Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Renaldi.
228
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,950
Nurse, nurse!
229
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,875
poing
230
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,087
Nurse!
231
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,089
Nurse!
232
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,256
301 is calling.
233
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:33,716
That's your patient, Helen.
234
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,052
Oh, I always get the complainers.
235
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,765
Will you stop making a pest of yourself?
236
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,351
We're taking care of
Mr. Renaldi next door.
237
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,352
He's here on an emergency.
238
00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:47,522
- Emergency?
- Yes.
239
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,524
He's having his hair reweaved.
240
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,112
Squeak squeak
241
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,908
Excu-excuse me.
242
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,869
I'm here to take blood samples.
243
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,124
Bu-but you seem a little nervous.
244
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:07,500
I am.
245
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,877
I've only been interning a week
246
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,004
and you're my first blood sample.
247
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,089
To what do I owe the
honor of sharing this
248
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,216
debut performance of yours?
249
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,302
Now, let's see.
250
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,179
How-how do I start?
251
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,015
You tie that little rubber
thing around the arm.
252
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,474
Oh, thank you.
253
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,854
- My arm.
- Sorry.
254
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,939
Everybody else gets Chad Everette.
255
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,482
I had to get him.
256
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,987
We finally found a vein.
257
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,072
It's coming out.
258
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,326
I thought you wanted a sample, I
didn't ask you to fill her up.
259
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,785
Don't look, Mr. Boyle.
260
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,456
Sometimes the sight of blood
makes the patient faint.
261
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:50,752
poing
262
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,837
Nurse! Nurse!
263
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,799
toink
264
00:11:56,925 --> 00:12:00,886
Hurry up with your dinner,
children. We have to visit papa.
265
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:03,139
It's strange not having him around.
266
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,933
Yeah, even to yell at me.
267
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,101
- I miss him.
- We all do.
268
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,938
But there's one thing we
can be thankful for.
269
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,192
He's in a wonderful hospital,
getting the best of care.
270
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,696
Nurse, nurse!
271
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,377
Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Boyle.
272
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,503
Thank you.
273
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,464
[Harry] Hi, Ralph.
274
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,216
- Don't touch the food.
- Huh?
275
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,676
It's gotta be poisoned.
276
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,011
- Oh, come on.
- Don't you see what's going on?
277
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,138
This place is crawling with
blacks, Chicanos, Chinese.
278
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,849
It's commie nerve center, I tell
you. A commie nerve center.
279
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:50,144
Ralph, the psycho ward
is that way. Check in.
280
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,480
The Yellow Peril's at work, Harry.
281
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,524
See, they got you in a kimono already.
282
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,318
Wait.
283
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,237
Somebody's gotta taste that food first.
284
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,613
But there's only you and me.
285
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,241
Okay, you taste it.
America needs me.
286
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,912
Mm, it's delicious.
287
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,414
I see their plan.
288
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,040
They don't wanna knock you off yet.
289
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,293
First, they've gotta get
the information from you.
290
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,544
What information?
291
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:16,879
They know you know about
our vigilante group.
292
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,299
They want names, Harry. Names!
293
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,386
What are you doing?
294
00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:26,014
This room's gotta be bugged.
295
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,932
You're a looney bird, you know that?
296
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,768
Don't talk into the chicken.
The mic might be in there.
297
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:37,650
It's clean.
298
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,405
Why don't you check the peas?
299
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,866
They're shrewd.
It's too obvious a place.
300
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,369
- There it is.
- What?
301
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,871
[Ralph] All of them buttons.
302
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,664
One of them has to open a secret panel
303
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:52,999
where the mic's hidden.
304
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,958
Probably a direct line to Peking.
305
00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:56,586
No, don't!
306
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,505
poing
307
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:02,633
See, the old Chinese torture trick.
308
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,510
Well, they're not getting this boy.
309
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,141
Pop
310
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,392
Don't worry, Harry.
311
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,269
I'll get you out of this evil place.
312
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,396
In the words of General MacArthur
313
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,023
"I shall return."
314
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,741
Now, remember, children.
315
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,787
Don't say anything that might
possibly aggravate papa.
316
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:31,662
Do we ever?
317
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:32,955
Let's just give him the box
318
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,042
of candy and talk of pleasant things.
319
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,295
But don't worry about the business.
320
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,381
I'm going to your office
tomorrow and take over.
321
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,800
Thanks, bankruptcy oughta improve
322
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,219
my stomach condition considerably.
323
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,096
What other cheer do you all bring me?
324
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,139
Any dispossess notices in the mail?
325
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,518
No, papa. Just a letter about
your medical coverage.
326
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,228
What about my medical coverage?
327
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,771
Relax, Harry.
328
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,274
It's only a form letter telling
you what you're covered for.
329
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,319
And a few minor things
you're not covered for.
330
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,072
- What minor things?
- Little things.
331
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,698
Like you're here for a check up
332
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,118
and the policy doesn't cover that.
333
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:14,163
You should have waited, dad
till you got really sick.
334
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,415
And they got to rush you here.
335
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,167
You're covered for ambulances.
336
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,086
This is Harry Boyle in 301.
337
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,422
Move me to a cheaper room right away.
338
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,882
I know, I'm not covered
for this phone call.
339
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,676
I'll pay for it myself.
340
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,438
This will be your room, Mr. Anderson.
341
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,564
Thank you.
342
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,776
So far it's all systems
go, Sergeant Whitaker.
343
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,278
We got through the enemy lines.
344
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,779
I knew we'd fool 'em.
345
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,906
Our disguises are perfect.
346
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,326
This is it. Room 301.
347
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,421
Okay, Harry, we've come to spring you.
348
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,924
Quiet. We don't wanna wake up
Zhou Enlai's Hatchet Men.
349
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,804
That's the operating game,
you can't win 'em all.
350
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:25,610
Ralph!
351
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,324
Now let's get him in the car.
352
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:34,368
Their plot is more
diabolical than I thought.
353
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,579
They've turned Harry black.
354
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,124
Those no good fiends.
355
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,667
They tell you they're taking blood
356
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,044
but they've filled you with dye.
357
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,213
They must be turning out
blacks by the carload.
358
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,048
They're building a minority army.
359
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,469
Don't worry Harry.
We shall overcome.
360
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,387
What am I saying?
361
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,389
Harry? I'm not Harry.
362
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,392
They also made him forget who he is.
363
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,270
What's going on?
My name is John Anderson.
364
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,897
They don't miss a bit.
365
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,816
They even gave Harry a new
name to go with his new face.
366
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,236
- Ralph!
- Alright, Harry.
367
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,530
We've got you safe and you'll be...
368
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:13,407
Harry? What are you doing up there?
369
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:16,369
Never mind that, what are
you doing down there?
370
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:19,789
- What am I doing down here?
- Orderly retreat, sergeant.
371
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,376
Just curious.
372
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,670
What were you before
they turned you black?
373
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:30,508
Ralph!
374
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,552
We'll be back to get you, Harry.
375
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:46,023
- Mr. Boyle. Oh, Mr. Boyle?
- Hmm?
376
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,776
- It's time.
- Time for what?
377
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,570
Your gall bladder operation.
378
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,738
What?
379
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,583
Hey, director, is that the
camera that will be on me
380
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,002
when I make my first incision?
381
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,963
Splendid, that is my good side.
382
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,090
I tell ya I'm here for a check up.
383
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:13,926
There's nothing wrong
with my gall bladder.
384
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,430
Quiet, umblicken. We're on
the air in five seconds.
385
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:18,598
On the air?
386
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:21,559
It is being televised
all over the world.
387
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,810
You should feel honored.
388
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,645
You will be the first gall bladder
389
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,607
transplant by satellite.
390
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,108
My gall bladder is fine.
391
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,319
If you don't believe me, call Dr. Shane.
392
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,113
We can't reach him, he
flew to Reno this morning
393
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,449
to close a deal for a
new shopping center.
394
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,868
Of course, I have a small percentage.
395
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,166
And now, Penthouse Gardens Hospital
396
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,169
proudly presents "What's My Operation."
397
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,838
Starring right wing's
world renowned surgeon
398
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,840
the one, the only
399
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,342
Dr. Hermon Schmidt.
400
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,094
And now, here's Hermon.
401
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,106
You've got the wrong guy.
Let me out of here!
402
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,067
Before I commence cutting
403
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,195
I would like to introduce
my anesthetist.
404
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,366
Direct from downtown Shanghai,
wearing the green smirk
405
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,952
and performing his first
American acupuncture
406
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,330
let's hear it for Dr. Chin Lee.
407
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,752
Somebody out there, help!
408
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,254
And now, on with the show.
409
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,132
You will see a demonstration
of my new technique in--
410
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:39,053
Oh, it's a mistake! He's not
the gall bladder patient!
411
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,388
He's not?
412
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,683
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
413
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,601
Oh, let me take it out anyway.
414
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,436
You will only lose a gall bladder.
415
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,189
Me, I lose a TV show.
416
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,902
Hi, there.
417
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,738
Just got back from Reno and I
want to tell you the good news.
418
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,782
You got the shopping center cheap?
419
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,202
No, I just got all your tests back.
420
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,621
They're all negative.
You don't have an ulcer.
421
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,164
Well, check me out of here fast
422
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,875
because this hospital is the
perfect place to get one.
423
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,253
You can leave first
thing in the morning.
424
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,297
Oh, you know what probably
caused the upset stomach?
425
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,633
Nervous tension.
Try to avoid it.
426
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,808
That's his window, right
up there. Second story.
427
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:29,228
- Gotcha.
- It's 1100 hours minus five.
428
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,313
Get ready for the assault.
429
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,276
Three, two, one, go!
430
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,823
Crash
431
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,032
thud
432
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,284
poing
433
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,619
Try it again, sergeant, and be careful.
434
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,163
We don't wanna lose that hook.
435
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,005
Crash
436
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,425
rumble
437
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,263
Get with it, sergeant.
Zero in.
438
00:21:05,388 --> 00:21:06,432
Roger.
439
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,023
Right on target, sir.
440
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,733
Good, let's move.
441
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,243
Carry him down the rope, Whitaker.
442
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,204
[Harry] Will you put me down?
443
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:33,417
Oh, he's cute.
Can I take him too?
444
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:35,461
Move it.
445
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,629
poing
446
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,397
Screech
447
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:10,454
bam
448
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,210
thud
449
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,010
I'm afraid you've got a broken leg.
450
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,054
I'll set it as soon as I
get back from closing
451
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,557
my marina condominium
deal in Key Biscayne.
452
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,601
Perfect timing.
453
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,186
You can have my bed, Ralph.
454
00:22:35,311 --> 00:22:38,858
Oh, cheer up. I'll come
to visit you sometime.
455
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:46,907
- Hi.
- Hello.
456
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,368
Harry I gotta talk to ya.
457
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,537
Ralph, didn't they ever clean you up?
458
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,497
That's what I wanna talk to you about.
459
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:54,790
You gotta get me outta here.
460
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:55,916
Why?
461
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,419
Nobody believes this is
just grease on my face.
462
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,087
They all think I'm black.
463
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,131
- Really?
- It's terrible.
464
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:04,758
I agree. I wish they would clean you up.
465
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,844
We finally got people
understanding that black
466
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:10,347
is beautiful and you could set
us back a hundred years.
33359
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