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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007
You'd be making a wise decision, sir.
2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,385
This is the finest car
in the country today.
3
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:13,388
And the price is only five thou...
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,848
[Harry] Why did you stop?
5
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,352
Well, I was afraid of giving
you a nose bleed, Harry.
6
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,396
I couldn't ask you to
spend that on a car.
7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,565
You've got a thoughtful
little woman here.
8
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,069
I like her, so I'm gonna give
you a much better price.
9
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,238
Now, let's see, how's about...
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,031
Say, aren't you an actress?
11
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:34,909
I could've sworn I saw
you in "Love Story."
12
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:37,912
That funny little way you
have of tossin' your head.
13
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,998
Isn't he nice?
14
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,626
I'll tell ya after he
gives me the price.
15
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:52,844
♪ I love my mum and dad
and my brothers too ♪
16
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,431
♪ And the groovy way
we get along ♪
17
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,851
♪ Every time the slightest
little thing goes wrong ♪
18
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,980
♪ Mum starts to sing
this familiar song ♪
19
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,608
♪ Wait till your father gets
until your father gets ♪
20
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,944
♪ Wait till your
father gets home ♪
21
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:13,031
♪ Dad's not so bad
and he seldom gets mad ♪
22
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:16,827
♪ And we aren't
about to desert him ♪
23
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:19,788
♪ Kids today like
to have their own way ♪
24
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,125
♪ And what daddy doesn't
know won't hurt him ♪
25
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,084
♪ I think
my mum's just swell ♪
26
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:26,920
♪ But she starts to yell ♪
27
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,715
♪ Every time we have a fuss ♪
28
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,593
♪ Just wait till
your father gets ♪
29
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,136
♪ Until your father gets ♪
30
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,263
♪ Wait till your
father gets home ♪
31
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,806
♪ See what I mean ♪
32
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,058
♪ Wait till your
father gets home ♪
33
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,102
♪ We know ♪♪
34
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,161
Little more action, kids, I've
gotta get to the office.
35
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,038
Work? But, dad, it's Saturday!
36
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:04,207
I'm lucky! I own the business
so I'm allowed to go in.
37
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,793
You oughta start thinking
about getting new car, pop.
38
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,754
This old heap's pretty banged up.
39
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,340
Since your sister started
driving, she's the only girl
40
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,885
who gets valentine day cards
from the Body and Fender Shop.
41
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,970
What you need is a sturdier car.
42
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,306
The way you drive, what we
need is a foam rubber garage.
43
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:21,892
Pop, this car has had it.
44
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,769
A man who works as hard
as you is entitled
45
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,354
to the best that money can buy.
46
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,774
I agree. There's nothing I'd
like better than a Rolls Royce.
47
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:32,526
I'd also like $200 suits, and a
winter home in the Bahamas.
48
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,904
But it'll have to wait
49
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,199
until I finish paying off
on the washing machine.
50
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,327
I love this car.
I know every sound she makes.
51
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,828
So, does the whole neighborhood.
52
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,913
Well, you just don't get
rid of an old friend
53
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,499
that's given you such great service.
54
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,875
Be realistic, pop.
55
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,669
If something doesn't work,
you get rid of it.
56
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,838
Would you like to
rephrase that sentence?
57
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,299
You may be jeopardizing
your future in this house.
58
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,592
Chet's right, papa.
59
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,719
When something gets old,
you should trade it in
60
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,055
on a new model.
There's no room for sentiments.
61
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,056
Sure, why put up with the aggravation?
62
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,684
That should apply to everything!
63
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:04,976
Oh, you mean,
64
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,104
like if I'm having trouble
with your mother...
65
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,971
I just take her down to the lot
66
00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,597
and trade her in on a new model.
67
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:55,068
Son, in this life there has
to be room for sentiment.
68
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:58,405
Papa. we're talking about
possessions not people.
69
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,657
Aren't you ashamed to have the
neighborhood see this thing
70
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,075
in the drive way?
71
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,286
No, but I'm ashamed to
hear you talk this way.
72
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,205
I don't live for my
neighbors, I live for me.
73
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,958
I don't understand this crazy
need to trade your car
74
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,169
every time your ashtray fills up.
75
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,670
But it's an eyesore.
76
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,380
Look, I didn't buy it to
enter it in a fashion show.
77
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,759
It takes me where I wanna
go and it gets me back.
78
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,318
Hi, I'm home!
79
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:47,370
- The house is on fire.
- That's nice, dear.
80
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,831
Is it really that interesting?
What're you watching?
81
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,043
The chicken that ate Philadelphia.
82
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,337
Now, I don't want you to
think I'm insecure...
83
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,880
...that they would prefer
Paul Newman to me,
84
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,632
I understand.
85
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,761
But it kinda shakes a man up to
come in second to a chicken.
86
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:06,765
We'll be right back after
a word from our sponsor.
87
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,017
- Oh, hi, pop.
- When did you get home?
88
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,392
You know there are times I think
89
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,853
if it weren't for commercials
90
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,855
some families would never
see each other again.
91
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,190
Howdy, folks?
Smiling Sam here.
92
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:20,195
Southern California's number
one car dealer and Claude
93
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,532
my faithful Kitty cat,
man's best friend.
94
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,909
Folks, this is the time to buy.
95
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,161
With them it's always the time to buy.
96
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:31,498
Right now, during our once
a month anniversary sale
97
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,459
bargains like this beauty
from our foreign department
98
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,336
the Korean made Sukiyaki 6.
99
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,797
And to show you how spacious it is
100
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:42,843
watch these four basketball
all-stars as they get in.
101
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,806
And sit in luxury comfort.
102
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,061
[Sam] Stretch, let the
folks hear the engine.
103
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,734
Yes, sir. Listen to
that little baby purr.
104
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,737
So, come on down and see Smiling Sam.
105
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,407
And if you ain't ready
to buy, drop in anyway
106
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:10,370
just to say, howdy and get
5,000 free tradin' stamps.
107
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,834
Forgot to tell you, it
also has a sunroof.
108
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,544
That does it!
109
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,087
That's what you should look into, daddy.
110
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,755
A small economical foreign car.
111
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,009
Forget it!
I don't play basketball.
112
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,635
The children are right, Harry.
113
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,598
We do need a new car and I know
exactly what kind I'd like.
114
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,726
Oh, and what kind of a car
do you have in mind?
115
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,060
A blue one.
116
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:39,399
Uh, why don't we go look?
It doesn't cost anything.
117
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,402
The most expensive words
in the English language.
118
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,988
It doesn't cost anything to look.
119
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,955
What're you doing, Ralph?
120
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,624
Checking for landmines.
121
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,958
Gotta keep ahead of 'em Ruskies!
122
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,168
You know, they're always plotting
123
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,920
to snuff out the world leaders.
124
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,796
And you fall into that category?
125
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,673
On their list of enemies
freedom fighters
126
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,550
I figure I'm in the Moscow top ten.
127
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,677
Be way cool if they'd knocked off
128
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,096
the leader of vigilanty company B.
129
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:13,141
Yeah, Elm Street would
be left defenseless.
130
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,519
Well, that's the risk we
military giants have to take.
131
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:17,729
You detected any bombs?
132
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,190
No, so far all we found is 16 cents.
133
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,192
And a skate key.
134
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,362
Come on, let's get going.
135
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,656
They're dragging me out
to look at new cars.
136
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,990
Buy American, Harry.
137
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,159
You know how they make
those foreign cars?
138
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:36,164
They buy up all our old
cars, ship 'em home...
139
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,544
...and then they shrink 'em.
140
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,131
Paint 'em and send 'em right back.
141
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,925
So, when you buy foreign,
what you're really gettin'
142
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,135
is a second hand American car.
143
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,512
And what's even worse
144
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,932
they're also using our cars
to make guns and bullets.
145
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,308
Gives me the chills!
146
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,353
Yeah, I could be shot by a '62 Buick.
147
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,146
But at least your auto insurance
148
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,565
will pay for the hospital.
149
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,734
Uh, you were hit by a car.
150
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:05,860
Oh.
151
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,655
I knew it, a mine, see!
152
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,116
Ruskies were planning to
blow me to kingdom come.
153
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,742
Sergeant Whitaker, take over!
154
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,411
She's our demolition expert.
155
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:18,498
Stand back, I've gotta dig
around carefully and get at it.
156
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,922
Ah, I guess, I detected
my own water main.
157
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,382
Well, don't worry, Ralph.
158
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,385
You lost a water main but you
gained a sprinkler system.
159
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,059
Come on, pop, at least look at it.
160
00:08:39,184 --> 00:08:40,729
Where do you wind it up?
161
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,486
- You need assistance.
- No, I-I don't--
162
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:53,408
You do not understand I was not
asking you, I was telling you.
163
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,744
We Swiss, we know good quality.
164
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,039
And you're looking at the
finest, posh-lookin' machine
165
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,582
the world has to offer.
166
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,750
Well, I don't know.
167
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,752
I think Detroit turns out just as good.
168
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,837
They wouldn't dare!
169
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,173
Well, anyway I wouldn't
buy something like that
170
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,299
I wouldn't enjoy driving it.
171
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,260
You will buy it, you will drive it.
172
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,636
And you will enjoy!
173
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:18,058
- Oh, but I-I--
- That is an order!
174
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,350
Oh!
175
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:23,188
My little , you have
been wounded in action.
176
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:27,484
As soon as you're repaired
you'll receive the Iron Cross.
177
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,110
Come on, kids, let's get away
178
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,987
while the Brandenburg
Gate is still open.
179
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:34,824
- You will be back!
- Come on, I've seen enough!
180
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,660
But, pop, you haven't even
looked at these cars.
181
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,537
As long as we're here, Harry
182
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,457
we oughta at least say
howdy to Smiling Sam.
183
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,042
We enjoy all his movies.
184
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,961
I enjoy the 7 o'clock
news but does that mean
185
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,880
I have to say howdy to David Brinkley?
186
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,090
Come on, papa.
187
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,381
Yeah, let's see what they have.
188
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,761
You'd be making a wise decision, sir.
189
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:59,057
This is the finest car
in the country today.
190
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,059
And the price is only five thou...
191
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,477
[Harry] Why did you stop?
192
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:07,357
Well, I was afraid of giving
you a nose bleed, Harry.
193
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,401
I couldn't ask you to
spend that on a car.
194
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,445
You've got a thoughtful
little woman here.
195
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,865
I like her, so I'm gonna give
you a much better price.
196
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,909
Now, let's see, how's about...
197
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,910
Say, aren't you an actress?
198
00:10:20,035 --> 00:10:23,623
I could've sworn I saw
you in "Love Story."
199
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,583
That funny little way you
have of tossing your head.
200
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,837
Isn't he nice?
201
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,339
I'll tell ya after he
gives me the price.
202
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,966
How's about 3800?
203
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,593
I'm losing money but
I'm making a friend.
204
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,136
What'll you give me on my old car?
205
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:40,098
Oh, well, that was pretty bad
year, they was all lemons.
206
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,308
Well, we haven't even seen the car yet.
207
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,643
[Harry] It's this one.
208
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,146
I'm surprised you made it to the lot.
209
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,897
But I like you.
210
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,359
I'm gonna give you top dollar, 200!
211
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,612
Well, you got the same car
right there for 750.
212
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,780
But that is a blue seal car.
213
00:10:56,905 --> 00:10:59,159
Gone over by our factory
trained mechanics parts
214
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,619
and labor guaranteed for thirty days.
215
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,663
Forget it! I'll sell it myself!
216
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,457
If you'll just step into the
office my assistant manager
217
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,252
will write up the deal for you.
218
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,591
Didn't I see you in "Love Story?"
219
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,011
So, what, you got a new car, huh?
220
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,345
- Yeah.
- Huh?
221
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,639
- Yeah!
- Boy you're nuts Harry.
222
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,058
The car was a jewel! A
gem, ran like a watch.
223
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,352
- What'd they give you for it?
- Chet's bringing it home.
224
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,979
I didn't trade it, I'm selling it.
225
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,898
- I'll take it, how much?
- Four hundred.
226
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,151
- For that old pile of junk?
- You said it was a jewel.
227
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,153
I was talking as a friend,
now I'm the buyer.
228
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,946
- Give you 250.
- Forget it!
229
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,530
You turning down a friend?
230
00:11:38,655 --> 00:11:41,326
The price is 400.
Firm!
231
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,577
Four hundred, huh?
232
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,953
Is this a blue seal car?
233
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,788
Look, Ralph, it's an old car
234
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,790
and it probably won't last much longer.
235
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,375
I wouldn't want you to be unhappy.
236
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,586
Don't worry, Harry, I won't complain.
237
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,962
You got a deal at 400.
238
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,091
I'm taking off $5.
239
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,093
I figure I just lost
that much in rubber.
240
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,057
Muah!
241
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,183
Morning, Harry.
242
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,809
Hey, let me hear how the new car sounds.
243
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:10,146
Okay, but don't expect my
old car to sound the same.
244
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,693
- Turn the key, Harry.
- I did.
245
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,363
Boy, it sure runs quiet.
246
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,699
Irma, the car doesn't work!
247
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,660
Call a tow truck!
248
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,285
Uh, want a lift, Harry?
249
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,216
I can't understand it, a brand
new car and not starting.
250
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:41,094
This is the 12th one that
I towed in this week.
251
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,513
- Bad ignition system!
- Oh, great!
252
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:46,599
And after a 1 000 miles, it's
the fuel pump that goes.
253
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,519
Bang
254
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,729
bang
255
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:55,066
And the original tires
aren't too good either.
256
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,902
[Sam] Thank you, folks.
257
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,739
Now, just step right into the
office and sign the contract.
258
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,576
Ma'am, are you sure I didn't
see you in "Love Story?"
259
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,246
Sam! Sam, can I see you?
260
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,331
Howdy, what can I do for you?
261
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,458
- I just bought this car--
- You wanna sell it?
262
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,626
Sell it?
263
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,920
Sorry, this model's a
drug on the market.
264
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,089
Bad ignition, fuel pump.
265
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,173
And it won't be much longer
266
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,092
before those other two tires go.
267
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,844
Bang
268
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,471
My advice to you, friend,
is to take it back
269
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,516
to whoever stuck you with
this mechanical monster.
270
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,268
I bought it form you!
271
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,770
Oh, I bet you're getting
a lot of pleasure
272
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,230
out of driving this beauty.
273
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:37,817
- Oh, I've had a ball.
- Now, no need to fret.
274
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,611
Boys, will you get this into
the service department
275
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:41,904
right away?
276
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,324
Now, you just have some
coffee in our waiting room.
277
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,242
It won't take long at all!
278
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:48,953
Bang
279
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:54,958
Another satisfied customer just
getting his free oil change.
280
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,431
- Your first time?
- Yeah.
281
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,807
This is my eighth.
282
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,977
After the first two or
three you get used to it.
283
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,438
- Mr. Cleaver?
- Yes, yes.
284
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:19,025
Good news, you have a
happy, healthy car.
285
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,735
You can take it home now.
286
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,071
Huh, home! Home!
287
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,990
I can see my wife and kids again.
288
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,951
Oh, thank you!
Thank you, thank you!
289
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,918
Oh, this is ridiculous!
290
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,920
Hey, how long have you been here?
291
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,381
- What day is it?
- Thursday!
292
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,300
- What month?
- November.
293
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,637
Gee, I'm gonna miss the
whole football season.
294
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,138
Well, I'm not waiting around.
295
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,641
I'm gonna find out what's going on.
296
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,648
Haven't you even started on my car?
297
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,109
- Is this ignition and tires?
- Yes.
298
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,485
Well, sorry, I'm headlights.
299
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,820
Left headlight.
300
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,238
Oh, I forgot.
301
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,991
The age of specialization.
Where's the service manager?
302
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,579
When're they gonna start
on my car? The blue one?
303
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,499
Oh, yes, well, first we
have to check it out
304
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:20,044
with our new electronic
computerized diagnostic system.
305
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,046
Well, why is it taking so long?
306
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,006
Oh, it broke down.
But don't worry.
307
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,217
We're flying in a
technician from overseas.
308
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,220
Well, meanwhile, can't you at
least get the tires fixed?
309
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,222
Sorry we ran out of air.
310
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,687
Car still in the shop, Harry?
311
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,773
Yeah, and I can't afford
to take cabs anymore.
312
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,150
Look, Ralph--
313
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,193
I gotta show you what I
installed in this baby.
314
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,194
Watch.
315
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,821
I just press the button...
316
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,156
...and the Ruskies count this car
317
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,241
as spearheadin' our armored column.
318
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,827
Oh, with that knowledge,
I'll sleep easier tonight.
319
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,412
Hey, what're neighbors for?
320
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,747
Look, Ralph, I need a
lift to work tomorrow.
321
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,499
- Negative.
- What?
322
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,669
Every day, for the last six
years, I've driven you to work.
323
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,296
Now, the one time I ask you--
324
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,465
Harry, you're out of my way.
325
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,759
Okay, okay, I don't need your favors.
326
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,511
I'll get to work somehow.
327
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,863
Hello, dear.
328
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,615
Have you heard from Smiling Sam?
329
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,283
The car's not ready yet.
330
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,869
Not ready yet!
I'll sue him.
331
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,037
I'll go get a lawyer.
332
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,205
Wait a minute.
333
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,290
I don't have transportation
to get a lawyer.
334
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,541
Chet.
335
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,668
Chet, you'll have to drive me
to the office tomorrow morning
336
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:43,753
on your motorcycle.
337
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,213
I can't, pop.
338
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,672
I'm taking a chick to the
beach tomorrow morning.
339
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,675
I don't care! First, you're
driving me to work.
340
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,392
Chet, watch out!
341
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,943
[Harry] Aah!
342
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,823
Want me to pick you up tonight, pop?
343
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,617
No, thanks.
344
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:18,538
My insurance policy doesn't
cover accidents while flying.
345
00:17:20,455 --> 00:17:22,792
50 cents is your final price?
346
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,628
Yeah, pop, I was gonna
use it after school.
347
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,797
Okay.
348
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,345
Now, look, I want my car
and I want it now.
349
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,306
What?
350
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,976
You're kidding.
I don't believe it.
351
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,602
I don't believe it!
352
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,271
What is it, Harry?
353
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,190
Detroit recalled Smiling
Sam's mechanics.
354
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,817
They had faulty training.
355
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:48,734
Oh, no.
356
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,236
Well, what happens to the car?
357
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,821
I don't care anymore.
358
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,155
I've been swindled and I'm gonna get
359
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,448
my down payment back.
360
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,367
But you signed a contract, Harry.
361
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,411
Yeah, the only thing that
worked in that place
362
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,579
was the pen.
363
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,372
Now, calm down, honey.
364
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,583
Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.
365
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,042
Oh, by the way, I hope
you're in the mood
366
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,421
for a nice, cold salad.
367
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,630
That's all?
368
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,800
I can't cook anything, the
stove's out of order.
369
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:13,968
What!
370
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,845
Well, I called the repairman.
371
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,306
He said he couldn't get
here till Friday.
372
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,348
Why not?
373
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,268
He bought his truck at Smiling Sam's.
374
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,980
Well, then call another repairman.
375
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,358
I did, Harry, one was able
to give me an appointment
376
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,818
for next Tuesday.
377
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,236
Oh, repairmen!
378
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,779
They're gonna inherit the Earth.
379
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,531
We have all the modern conveniences.
380
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:39,201
Automatic washers, driers,
self-defrosting refrigerators
381
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,496
and behind each one is a
repairman waiting to say
382
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,666
the magic words, it has
to go back to the shop.
383
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:50,046
Well, I've got news for
ya, there is no shop.
384
00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:52,840
We'll show you some more
Smiling Sam specials
385
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,342
in a moment, folks.
386
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,386
But first, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Jai Lucas
387
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,972
another one of our satisfied customers.
388
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,059
Where did he find a satisfied customer?
389
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:06,311
I am a satisfied customer.
390
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:09,482
Now, how much did you save
on the deal, Mr. Lucas?
391
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:14,320
On the deal, I saved over $400.
392
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:20,660
From now on, I will buy all
my cars from Smiling Sam.
393
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,161
He'll have to buy one a week.
394
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:26,207
Not only did they give me a good deal
395
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:32,129
they also treated me with
the utmost courte...
396
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,881
- Courte...
- Courtesy, courtesy.
397
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,590
Courtesy, courtesy.
398
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:40,096
Thank you very much, Mr. Lucas,
another satisfied customer.
399
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:44,016
I am a satisfied customer.
400
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,018
What a phony act.
401
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,646
I found out they pick people
right off the street
402
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,981
and pay 'em $5 to say those things.
403
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:52,233
Figures.
404
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,902
- I applied for the job myself.
- What?
405
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,070
They wouldn't take me.
406
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,239
They said I don't look like a car buyer.
407
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,241
Well, one of these days a real customer
408
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,034
is gonna get in front
of that camera and...
409
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,454
Ye-e-eah.
410
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,924
We'll be going on in five minutes.
411
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,886
Alright, somebody throw this
mangy cat on the hood.
412
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,638
Ooh, he's startin' to smell.
413
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,640
Tomorrow run him through the car wash.
414
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,478
Are you today's satisfied customer?
415
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,939
Yup they're paying me five bucks.
416
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,232
Well, here's ten.
417
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,609
Go be satisfied some place else, huh?
418
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:39,946
Well, I'm all set, Sam.
419
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:42,992
Where's the flunky for the commercial?
420
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,369
Oh, the faces they give me to work with!
421
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:50,291
I am the makeup man, not
the miracle worker.
422
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:55,755
I don't care what people say, I
know we'll be happy together.
423
00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,508
Two seconds, Sam.
424
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,802
Good, I dropped a bundle at the track.
425
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,637
I really gotta zap the suckers today.
426
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,222
We're on the air.
427
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:09,810
Howdy, folks, Smiling Sam here
with my faithful kitty cat.
428
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,771
OI' Claude!
429
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,066
Before showin' you today's special
430
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:19,487
I would like for you
to meet Fred Hawkins,
431
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,156
another satisfied customer.
432
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,784
I'm not Fred Hawkins.
I'm Harry Boyle.
433
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,410
And I'm not satisfied.
434
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,496
I bought a car here two weeks ago
435
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,080
and the only ride I've had in it
436
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,209
was when I was towed back
to the service department.
437
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,919
Look, Papa's on television.
438
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:37,546
He looks just like Rock Hudson.
439
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,549
You should see the service department.
440
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:41,842
They got customers waiting there
441
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,594
who're listed as missing in action.
442
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,513
Read the cards, that's
it, read the cards.
443
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,181
Sock it to him, pop.
444
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,933
You know, when he's angry
445
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,685
he looks more like Steve McQueen.
446
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,438
And you know where they find
their satisfied customers?
447
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,982
- They--
- Now, hold on, friend.
448
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,692
Somehow, I got the impression
449
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,445
that you ain't happy with
the deal that we gave you.
450
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,781
You're darn right, I ain't happy.
451
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,282
And I want my money back.
452
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:08,327
Money? Back?
453
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,955
That's right, my down payment of $600.
454
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,125
Folks, just to show you
the kind of operation
455
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:16,292
that we run
456
00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:18,629
I'm gonna return this man's money,
457
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,340
right here on the TV.
458
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,634
Yay!
459
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,052
Wow, he did it.
460
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:29,557
You know, there's a little of
Burt Reynolds in him too.
461
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,600
There you go, friend.
462
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,727
Now, folks, you've just seen another one
463
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:38,732
of our satisfied customers
and now, back to the movie.
464
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,526
Please.
465
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:44,280
And you didn't see me in
"Love Story" either.
466
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,786
There, it's stripped, here's your keys.
467
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,413
Ah, you're a pal, Ralph.
468
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:54,790
Well, the car wasn't suiting
my purpose anyway.
469
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,375
With all the armor, I
could only get it up
470
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,710
two miles an hour.
471
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,379
Yeah, I guess that's not
too good for blitzkriegs.
472
00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:03,048
You don't know how much I'd
missed this old hulk.
473
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,301
I'm gonna take her for a
spin and get reacquainted.
474
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,053
Have fun, Harry.
475
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,684
Shall we let him have it?
476
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:14,810
At ease.
477
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,145
Sorry, Harry, forgot to tell you
478
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:18,063
I installed a security system.
479
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:21,191
When a stranger turns on the
ignition, it sets off an alert.
480
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,484
How do you turn it off?
481
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:25,529
There's a secret switch right, uh...
482
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,656
Where did I put that switch?
36243
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