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1
00:00:02,895 --> 00:00:04,670
♪
2
00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:08,298
[sighs]
3
00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,593
♪ I want to break free ♪
4
00:00:13,239 --> 00:00:16,098
♪ I want to break free ♪
5
00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:18,183
♪ I want to ♪
6
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,185
♪ Break free from your lies ♪
7
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:22,746
♪ You're so self-satisfied ♪
8
00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:25,357
♪ I don't need you ♪
9
00:00:26,676 --> 00:00:29,153
♪ I've got to break free ♪
10
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,348
♪ God knows ♪
11
00:00:34,426 --> 00:00:38,370
♪ God knows I want to break free ♪
12
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♪ I want to break free. ♪
13
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[Smithers sighs]
14
00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:47,771
Ah, the joy
of a completed to-do list.
15
00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:50,549
Shall we celebrate
by cracking open an amontillado?
16
00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:52,867
Uh, sir, you had
that cask of amontillado
17
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,536
walled off two days ago.
18
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,555
-Along with the salesman.
-[knocking]
19
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:58,282
[salesman]
Are you still considering
20
00:00:58,284 --> 00:00:59,892
the Cask of the Month Club?
21
00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:02,061
After three months,
it pays for itself.
22
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,896
I'm thinking about it.
23
00:01:03,972 --> 00:01:06,123
Anyway, Smithers, a tasting.
24
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:09,193
What about this 1945 Bordeaux?
25
00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:13,130
Yes, that could give
my palate a little party.
26
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,722
Palate, have at it.
27
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,224
Oh.
28
00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:18,969
How I miss extra-venous fluids.
29
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:21,154
Mm, you're getting notes
of cigar smoke,
30
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:23,231
saffron-- Ooh, sandalwood.
31
00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:24,500
Yes, yes, all of those.
32
00:01:25,828 --> 00:01:28,587
And cupcake frosting
from a child's birthday party
33
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,923
with notes of petting zoo
on the finish.
34
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:33,759
Oh, I'm getting a little tipsy.
35
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,427
Make sure you take two aspirin
36
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:39,223
and drink plenty of water
before I go to bed.
37
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,250
[whimpering]
38
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,161
What is it?
what do you hear, boy?
39
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:45,679
Dress shoes on linoleum.
40
00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:47,331
It's Smithers.
41
00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:48,590
Whenever he comes down here,
he wants
42
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:51,151
someone to stay late
and do extra work.
43
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,364
[whimpering]
44
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,617
Homer, it's one taquito.
45
00:01:58,694 --> 00:01:59,843
It's not worth it.
46
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,620
No snack left behind.
47
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:03,347
I'll tell your story.
48
00:02:03,349 --> 00:02:04,698
[microwave dings]
49
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,274
Simpson, come with me.
50
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,793
[groans]
Can I bring my taquito?
51
00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:09,211
No.
52
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:13,298
Mr. Burns wants
to impress his wine club,
53
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,025
so he paid a million dollars
54
00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,118
for a very special bottle
of Gevrey-Chambertin
55
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,096
once owned by Napoleon.
56
00:02:20,215 --> 00:02:21,715
Whoa, just like the laundry pods
57
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:24,059
they lock up
at the Kwik-E-Mart.
58
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:27,312
Wow.
59
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,539
Turns out Napoleon fought
the Battle of Austerlitz
60
00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:31,057
just because he'd heard
there was
61
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:32,876
an extraordinary
bottle of red there.
62
00:02:32,895 --> 00:02:36,638
And you need my expert skills
to keep watch over it.
63
00:02:36,715 --> 00:02:39,658
No, I need you to ride in the
back with it as a human airbag.
64
00:02:39,851 --> 00:02:41,326
Ooh, human.
65
00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:42,552
[phone rings]
66
00:02:42,554 --> 00:02:45,480
Smithers, I coughed up
my Adam's apple.
67
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,390
Not again.
68
00:02:46,408 --> 00:02:47,649
I'm on my way, sir.
69
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,002
Simpson, I need you
to bring the Napoleon wine
70
00:02:50,078 --> 00:02:52,045
directly to Mr. Burns' mansion.
71
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,914
This is the most important job
72
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,916
you've ever done
in your entire life.
73
00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:58,084
I'm glad to have
earned your trust.
74
00:02:58,237 --> 00:03:00,662
If there were anyone else
on Earth I could ask, I would.
75
00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:01,905
Thank you.
76
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:02,997
[Burns]
Hurry, Smithers.
77
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,058
Now ants are circling it.
78
00:03:06,412 --> 00:03:08,929
Okay, just get the bottle
back to Mr. Burns.
79
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:11,356
First, select
the least bumpy route.
80
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,841
Aah!
Where'd it go?!
81
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,254
And now it is my great honor
82
00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:19,031
to christen this ship--
83
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,107
-[grunts]
-Well, I never.
84
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:23,744
No, wait, this did happen
once before.
85
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,765
[all] Mazel tov!
86
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,209
[grunts] Ow!
87
00:03:38,777 --> 00:03:39,609
Uh...
88
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:40,610
[sighs]
89
00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:42,095
Mwah.
90
00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,765
[grunts]
91
00:03:46,118 --> 00:03:48,143
[pellet guns firing]
92
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:52,648
Mm...
93
00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:56,384
[grunting]
94
00:03:57,387 --> 00:04:00,555
Oh, man, I'm so far
from Mr. Burns' mansion.
95
00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:01,982
Where even am I?
96
00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:03,408
I'll give you a hint, dumbass.
97
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,059
You live here.
98
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:06,894
Give me another hint.
99
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,139
Okay, Homer, you got
a million-dollar bottle of wine.
100
00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:11,141
For once in your life,
don't be stupid.
101
00:04:11,143 --> 00:04:13,252
Put it somewhere safe.
102
00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:15,145
Safe, safe.
103
00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:17,631
Wait, a safe.
104
00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:21,409
[grunts]
105
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:25,079
Safe. So this is
what being smart feels like.
106
00:04:25,157 --> 00:04:27,340
[chuckles]
I'll reward myself
107
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:29,993
with a quick garage nap
in the car.
108
00:04:29,995 --> 00:04:32,512
I'll just turn it on
to keep warm and--
109
00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:33,755
No.
110
00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,665
Staying smart.
111
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,091
[snoring]
112
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,777
Huh? Wha--
Oh, no!
113
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,520
I need to get to Burns' mansion.
114
00:04:40,672 --> 00:04:41,838
You're exhausted.
115
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,024
At least eat dinner
before you go.
116
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,952
Mmm, this is the best stew ever.
117
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,194
Oh, it's nothing special.
118
00:04:48,196 --> 00:04:49,937
Just beef, carrots, onions,
119
00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,364
garlic and bay leaves.
120
00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:52,774
Well, it's delicious.
121
00:04:52,851 --> 00:04:53,867
Oh, and some wine.
122
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,444
What kind of wine?
123
00:04:56,522 --> 00:04:58,946
I didn't want to use
the good nine-dollar bottle,
124
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,541
so I just used this old one.
125
00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:03,451
[screaming]
126
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,303
How? No.
127
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,638
No, I was smart.
I was smart.
128
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,181
So smart.
129
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,793
What?
I don't understand.
130
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,437
It's still locked.
131
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,207
-Huh?
-[Bart] Hey, Homer.
132
00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:19,209
What the hell
kind of safe is this?
133
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:21,469
Remember?
You punched a hole in the wall
134
00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:24,472
when Major League Baseball
added the pitch clock.
135
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,308
I like my sports slow,
and they knew that.
136
00:05:27,386 --> 00:05:28,976
Marge, you don't understand.
137
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,737
That wine you used in the stew
138
00:05:30,814 --> 00:05:32,146
was Burns' wine.
139
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,908
It cost a million dollars!
140
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,501
Oh, no. No!
141
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,078
No, no, no, no, no, no.
142
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,188
A million dollars?
143
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,731
A million dollars!
144
00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:42,824
I don't want stew.
145
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,676
I want mac and cheese.
146
00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,429
-Eat your million-dollar stew.
-[grunts]
147
00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:49,473
[groans]
148
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:57,247
You used all
of the million-dollar wine?
149
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,432
It's what the recipe calls for.
150
00:05:59,434 --> 00:06:01,509
You should have written
your name on the bottle.
151
00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:04,387
Like I do with that special tea
that makes me regular.
152
00:06:04,423 --> 00:06:06,089
Regular?
You didn't go the whole time
153
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:07,866
we were in
the Wisconsin Dells.
154
00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:09,868
That's why I got the tea!
155
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,444
That I label.
156
00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:12,946
[Smithers]
Simpson.
157
00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:15,523
Why haven't you delivered the
bottle to Mr. Burns' mansion?
158
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:16,950
Before I answer that,
159
00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:19,086
try some of this delicious stew.
160
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:23,030
Mmm, the onions, the garlic,
161
00:06:23,108 --> 00:06:25,700
the red wine
from the 19th century.
162
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,277
[groans]
163
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:28,202
Aah!
164
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,721
It's not what you think.
165
00:06:29,798 --> 00:06:33,283
Marge cooked the wine into stew.
166
00:06:33,285 --> 00:06:35,727
Stew that we ate.
167
00:06:35,804 --> 00:06:37,712
-[growls]
-Uh,
168
00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:38,897
if you need to
strangle the boy for a minute,
169
00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:40,232
that's what he's here for.
170
00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:42,308
Eh, it's what I bring
to the table.
171
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,127
Oh, God, this is going
to take Mr. Burns
172
00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:46,238
to a horrifying level of fury.
173
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,556
He built this lumber mill
just to kill us.
174
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,558
Oh, that explains it.
175
00:06:50,636 --> 00:06:54,137
Waylon, Homer really did try
to keep it safe.
176
00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:56,230
This is all my fault.
177
00:06:56,232 --> 00:06:59,751
I can't believe I was undone
by Marge Simpson.
178
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,069
[crying]
179
00:07:02,147 --> 00:07:03,913
Mm. Hmm?
180
00:07:04,983 --> 00:07:07,984
Okay, I know things
look kind of bad.
181
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:10,820
But there is a way out of this.
182
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:12,172
This isn't "kind of bad."
183
00:07:12,248 --> 00:07:13,748
This is a catastrophe.
184
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:17,494
If I may-- for you,
catastrophe is a new thing.
185
00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:20,772
But for me, it's just
another day at the office.
186
00:07:20,849 --> 00:07:23,500
What the hell are talking about,
you incompetent nitwit?
187
00:07:23,502 --> 00:07:25,760
Oh, Smithers,
Smithers, Smithers.
188
00:07:25,837 --> 00:07:27,020
Let me explain.
189
00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:28,280
Maggie, my note.
190
00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:31,357
♪ In the course of my long life ♪
191
00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:33,601
-Aah!
-♪ I've learned a golden rule ♪
192
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:35,937
♪ To escape the blame and avoid the shame ♪
193
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,956
♪ When I've been an utter fool ♪
194
00:07:38,033 --> 00:07:40,867
♪ I simply cover it up ♪
195
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:44,296
-♪ Cover it up? ♪
-♪ Cover it up? ♪
196
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,131
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
197
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,391
♪ Lost her wedding ring one winter ♪
198
00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:50,451
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
199
00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:52,637
♪ Made one with a 3D printer ♪
200
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:54,622
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
201
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,716
♪ I cut down Flanders' cherry tree ♪
202
00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:58,793
♪ And then did tell a lie ♪
203
00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:00,645
♪ I blamed it on some teens ♪
204
00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:03,148
♪ Who were wedgie-ing this guy ♪
205
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,058
♪ Neck high ♪
206
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,818
-♪ Cover it up ♪
-♪ Cover it up ♪
207
00:08:06,895 --> 00:08:10,989
♪ I can't recall the lyrics to the verse I'm singing now ♪
208
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:13,325
♪ Who cares? I'll make some new words up ♪
209
00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:16,077
[scatting]
210
00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:19,981
♪ I love you, "Spingfield" ♪
211
00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:21,391
♪ Trick the red light camera ♪
212
00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:24,227
♪ When you're rushing to get home ♪
213
00:08:24,229 --> 00:08:26,229
♪ Forgot to bring a doggy bag ♪
214
00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:28,507
♪ Just use a garden gnome ♪
215
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,008
♪ I caused so many meltdowns ♪
216
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,752
♪ So I use my little fix ♪
217
00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:34,754
♪ We know you caused those meltdowns ♪
218
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:37,015
♪ No, you only knew of six ♪
219
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,242
♪ Let's fix my wife's-- not my-- mistake ♪
220
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:41,335
-♪ Cover it up ♪
-♪ And fill this fancy jug ♪
221
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:43,429
-♪ With fake ♪
-♪ Cover it up ♪
222
00:08:43,431 --> 00:08:46,525
-♪ Make a woo-hoo out of a d'oh ♪
-♪ Just cover it up ♪
223
00:08:46,601 --> 00:08:48,768
♪ Cover it up and they'll never ♪
224
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:52,030
♪ Even know ♪
225
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,074
♪ Cover it up! ♪
226
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,443
Mm, I can't resist
227
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,596
a musical number
that advances the plot.
228
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:02,098
-I'm in.
-But how do we cover this up?
229
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,100
It's not gonna be easy.
230
00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:06,102
Mr. Burns is planning
to pour the Napoleon wine
231
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:09,455
for some of the most discerning
wine connoisseurs in the world.
232
00:09:09,457 --> 00:09:12,125
You know, wine is
basically just chemistry.
233
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:14,110
Maybe you need someone
who knows all about
234
00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:16,596
the chemistry of alcohol.
235
00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:20,633
Wine is the red one, right?
236
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,302
Well, I understand your dilemma,
237
00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,454
but I am right
in the middle of an experiment
238
00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:28,215
to develop the proverbial
six-pack abdominals.
239
00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:33,129
-[both groan]
-I know, but it's
what the ladies want.
240
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:35,407
I think they just want
someone who listens.
241
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,967
Well, I don't have
a contraption for that.
242
00:09:37,969 --> 00:09:39,744
Professor, maybe if I
243
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,488
-rephrase it like this.
-♪
244
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,207
-♪ Cover it up! ♪
-♪ Flavin! ♪
245
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,070
Uh, well, based on my analysis
246
00:09:49,072 --> 00:09:52,424
of the last drops
of the stewified Napoleon wine,
247
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,910
I've created a replica
out of diammonium phosphate,
248
00:09:55,987 --> 00:09:58,763
calcium carbonate and 14 CCs
249
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,600
of Manischewitz.
250
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:02,934
[sniffs]
251
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:06,346
Mmm.
That's, uh, that's amazing.
252
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,998
-So we did it?
-We did it.
253
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,092
Uh, I, uh, did it, yes.
254
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:13,594
And now, just
to ensure I've removed
255
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:16,597
the radioactive isotope
found in all wines
256
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,492
made after the dawn
of the nuclear age...
257
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:22,528
Perfect.
258
00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,497
[detector clicking]
259
00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:28,126
Uh, should I be worried
about that?
260
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,186
Are you planning
on having children?
261
00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:32,038
I never planned
any of my children.
262
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,341
Uh, well, it is what it is.
263
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:38,044
I call to order this meeting
with our credo,
264
00:10:38,046 --> 00:10:39,620
"Never drink something younger
265
00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:42,140
or date something older
than you."
266
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,958
[all]
To pointless excess.
267
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,143
And now, the main event:
268
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:48,146
a bottle of wine once held
by Napoleon himself.
269
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,890
So, raise a glass
and bend an "Elba."
270
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,800
[laughing]
271
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:55,487
Smithers, release the cork.
272
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,065
Moment of truth.
273
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,992
You know, our marriage
really could use
274
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,328
fewer moments of truth.
275
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,832
Now that's million-buck chuck!
276
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,727
Complex with a hint of
277
00:11:10,729 --> 00:11:12,462
doy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoing!
278
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:14,914
Mm.
279
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:16,916
The cover-up worked!
280
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:20,086
And tonight,
we'll have cover-up sex.
281
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,572
Ooh, it'll be my first.
282
00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:24,349
[laughing] No, it won't.
283
00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:28,353
I can't believe
we pulled that off.
284
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,022
I feel a little guilty
and a little scared.
285
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,932
Like the first time
I fast-forwarded
286
00:11:33,084 --> 00:11:34,359
through a commercial.
287
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,360
Don't feel bad.
288
00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:36,677
With the money
those billionaires
289
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:37,862
spend on one bottle,
290
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,346
it could buy every poor person
in the world
291
00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:42,016
an inexpensive
but very drinkable rosé.
292
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:44,185
Those monsters.
293
00:11:44,262 --> 00:11:46,705
They are.
And I do their bidding.
294
00:11:46,781 --> 00:11:48,781
[crying]
295
00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:51,935
I'm just as bad, if not worse,
because I know better.
296
00:11:51,937 --> 00:11:53,878
I'm even starting
to look like Mr. Burns.
297
00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:55,772
Hump!
298
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:59,792
Sometimes I feel like I've
only got this much soul left.
299
00:11:59,794 --> 00:12:01,127
Don't worry, Waylon.
300
00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:03,204
There's plenty of soul
where that came from.
301
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:05,223
You know, we've still got
302
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,951
a lot of this Frinky drinky.
303
00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:10,228
Think how many wrongs
we could right
304
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:13,957
if we sold just one more
million-dollar bottle.
305
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:16,142
Are you slurring
what I think you're slurring?
306
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:18,737
Yes.
What if we sell fake wine
307
00:12:18,813 --> 00:12:20,964
to the rich to give to the poor?
308
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,699
Like Robin Hood.
309
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,203
♪
310
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,595
[grunting, exclaiming]
311
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,225
[grunts]
312
00:12:59,095 --> 00:13:01,112
I'm cleansing my soul.
313
00:13:01,189 --> 00:13:03,673
And I'm getting out
of the house.
314
00:13:03,675 --> 00:13:05,200
[gavel bangs]
315
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:07,844
[quiet chatter]
316
00:13:07,846 --> 00:13:09,195
We're doing this.
317
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:10,955
We're actually
going to Robin Hood
318
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:12,290
a bottle of fake wine.
319
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,460
Look at all these mega-rich
wine connoisseurs.
320
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,871
I've never seen so many people
not wearing baseball caps.
321
00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:21,299
And that's Jim Sprawldon
from the Sprawl-Mart fortune.
322
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,285
And from Sam's Club,
there's Marcus Club himself.
323
00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:26,529
Oh... I can ask him
to bring back
324
00:13:26,548 --> 00:13:29,532
Marcus's Choice
cinnamon apple dryer sheets.
325
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:32,368
[Smithers]
There's Francis Ford Coppola
and Andrew Lloyd Webber,
326
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:35,221
the most surprisingly straight
wine collector in the world.
327
00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:37,056
And he's next to Robert Parker,
328
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,484
who invented the 100-point
wine ranking scale.
329
00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:41,060
I will buy this Napoleon wine
330
00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:43,396
with the money
from the music that I write.
331
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:46,382
The money from the music
of the night.
332
00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:49,385
I rate this conversation a 36.
333
00:13:49,387 --> 00:13:52,905
Next up is the last known wine
owned by Napoleon.
334
00:13:52,907 --> 00:13:55,224
Offered for sale
by an anonymous owner.
335
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,650
I open the bidding at--
336
00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,819
$1 million!
337
00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,338
-$1.5 million.
-[phone rings]
338
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,915
Wh-- I'm sorry. I have a call
from my accountant.
339
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,843
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
340
00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:06,069
I bid nothing.
341
00:14:06,071 --> 00:14:08,012
Uh, $1.5 million.
342
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,238
$2 million.
343
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,758
$2 million?
That's, like, 20,000 100s.
344
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,078
Going once. Going twice.
Sold!
345
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,021
[both exclaim]
346
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,083
Slowly, deftly,
losing shall caress you.
347
00:14:20,085 --> 00:14:21,693
Hear it, feel it.
348
00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:23,695
Secretly depress you.
349
00:14:23,771 --> 00:14:25,588
You did Cats, right?
350
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,031
What the hell was that?!
351
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:29,775
And why do I love it?
352
00:14:29,777 --> 00:14:31,260
We did it!
353
00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:34,688
This money is going to right
so many wrongs.
354
00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:37,100
Thank you, Marge.
For the first time in my life,
355
00:14:37,102 --> 00:14:38,751
I feel free.
356
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:43,530
You are under arrest
for the high crime
357
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,341
of wine forgery.
358
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:02,066
♪
359
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:05,403
Here's your cell.
360
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,647
Does the gentleman
find it suitable?
361
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:10,325
Why do they always ask the man?
362
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,562
Oh, Homie, Homie, I don't know
how to tell you this,
363
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,915
but I'm in jail.
364
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:19,325
[chuckles]
Marge in jail? Puh-lease.
365
00:15:19,327 --> 00:15:22,754
This is like that phone scam
I almost fell for last month.
366
00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:24,163
That was really me.
367
00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,982
I had to walk home
from the airport
368
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,984
because you wouldn't believe me.
369
00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:29,986
Then this is Marge!
You're in jail?
370
00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,245
[crying] Yes.
371
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,991
Waylon and I faked and sold
another Napoleon wine.
372
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,434
Well, this is crazy.
373
00:15:36,585 --> 00:15:39,829
You're in jail for booze,
and I'm...
374
00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:42,273
at home watching the kids.
375
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,091
-Time's up.
-[whimpers]
376
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:46,611
I've got to go.
I miss you all so much.
377
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:48,929
-I love you.
-[burps]
378
00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:52,008
Oh, Mommy loves you, too,
Maggie.
379
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,160
♪
380
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,793
Wine court is modeled after
the quirky French legal system.
381
00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:05,037
It's based on every defendant's
right to a certain,
382
00:16:05,114 --> 00:16:06,872
mm... je ne sais quoi.
383
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,967
How do you know about all this?
384
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:12,453
Oh, Wine Court TV plays all day
in most gay bars.
385
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:15,956
Your Honor, this is a case
of shocking fraud
386
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,459
perpetrated by the worst kind
of scammers.
387
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,870
Do we seriously believe
that a wine
388
00:16:20,888 --> 00:16:22,480
owned by Napoleon was found
389
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,058
by an executive assistant
and a homemaker?
390
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:29,212
They're simple,
ignorant Philistines.
391
00:16:29,214 --> 00:16:31,155
Mrs. Simpson,
please tell the court
392
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:32,991
your recipe for sangria.
393
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,325
Two parts Duff wine cooler
394
00:16:34,435 --> 00:16:37,311
to one part grape popsicle.
395
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:39,980
-[all gasp]
-Oh, no, Marge.
396
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,574
You stupid lady.
397
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:45,003
Homie, I might be
going to jail for years.
398
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,672
Promise me you'll take
good care of the kids.
399
00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:51,092
Honey, you know
I can't make that promise.
400
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:58,224
I wonder if Homer
is looking at the same moon.
401
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,595
[shatters]
402
00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,247
Marge was always here...
403
00:17:04,265 --> 00:17:07,083
[crying] to dry and put away.
404
00:17:07,085 --> 00:17:10,344
-[shatters]
-This is all my fault.
405
00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:14,348
♪ They covered it up, they covered it up ♪
406
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,443
♪ And I lost my sweet and loving wife ♪
407
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,354
-Wait, what?
-♪ I can't cover it up ♪
408
00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:22,689
♪ Can't cover it up ♪
409
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,450
♪ She might do 20 years ♪
410
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:27,361
♪ To life. ♪
411
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:30,197
You said Mom was in
Santa Barbara with friends.
412
00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:33,459
Kids, your mom's
not in Santa Barbara.
413
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:34,552
She's in wine jail.
414
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:37,371
There's no such thing
as Santa Barbara.
415
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,449
Dad, you got to find a way
to get Mom out of jail.
416
00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:42,118
You got to cover this up.
417
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:43,469
It's the only thing
you're good at.
418
00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:46,806
No, the only thing
I'm good at is nothing.
419
00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:49,650
I will never cover up again.
420
00:17:52,814 --> 00:17:54,130
Ladies, gentlemen,
421
00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:56,557
and bored looking cat
in a turtleneck.
422
00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:58,150
[purring]
423
00:17:58,227 --> 00:18:00,361
The wine we're accused of faking
424
00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:02,321
tastes exactly like
the real thing,
425
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,898
so if-if no one
can tell the difference,
426
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,475
how is that a crime?
427
00:18:06,494 --> 00:18:08,160
[all murmuring]
428
00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:11,330
Your Honor,
this is a case with legs.
429
00:18:11,482 --> 00:18:14,483
Pun intended on "legs"
but not on "case."
430
00:18:14,485 --> 00:18:17,095
Wine is much more
than a beverage.
431
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:20,247
For centuries, it has told
the story of civilization.
432
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,342
Whenever something is that rare,
unique, and beautiful,
433
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:27,087
it is attacked by greed
and fraud at every turn.
434
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,166
Thus, it is our responsibility
435
00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:33,093
to ensure that this
jewel of our society
436
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:35,613
keeps its integrity intact.
437
00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:37,231
[meows]
438
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:39,342
I have reached a decision.
439
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,434
[groans]
440
00:18:41,471 --> 00:18:44,938
I declare the fake
wine in question to be...
441
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,124
real.
442
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,709
-Case dismissed.
-[all gasp]
443
00:18:53,358 --> 00:18:54,857
I don't know what just happened.
444
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:56,525
Oh, allow me to explain.
445
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:59,786
I bought something more valuable
than any bottle of wine:
446
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:00,863
the judge.
447
00:19:00,882 --> 00:19:02,548
You bribed her to save us?
448
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,475
[chuckles] I...
I wasn't saving you, Smithers,
449
00:19:04,627 --> 00:19:06,218
and, uh, your wife.
450
00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:07,979
I was protecting the myth
that the possessions
451
00:19:08,055 --> 00:19:10,648
of the obscenely wealthy
are remotely worth it.
452
00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:12,466
If that bottle
was exposed as fake,
453
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:14,894
skeptical eyes
might look to fine art
454
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:15,987
such as my Vermeer,
455
00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:18,138
Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring.
456
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:21,159
Or my Bible signed by Jesus.
457
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,386
And it's all thanks
to this fine fellow
458
00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:25,388
who alerted me
to your predicament.
459
00:19:25,406 --> 00:19:27,814
-Homer, you--
-Covered it up.
460
00:19:27,892 --> 00:19:31,410
But, Dad, you said you were
never gonna cover up again.
461
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:34,397
I tried not to,
but covering up is all I know.
462
00:19:34,415 --> 00:19:36,582
So, I went to
the king of cover-ups.
463
00:19:36,734 --> 00:19:39,068
Who do you think
hid all that nuclear waste
464
00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:41,237
under Denver's airport?
465
00:19:41,239 --> 00:19:43,723
-This guy.
-[laughing] Oh, you.
466
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,744
Great, we were saved
by an evil deed
467
00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:52,248
from the man whose evil deeds
we were trying to un-evil.
468
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:54,525
But, Waylon,
our whole drunken plan
469
00:19:54,602 --> 00:19:57,695
was to use bad money
to do good things.
470
00:19:57,772 --> 00:19:59,922
And now we can.
471
00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:01,941
-Robin Hood?
-Robin Hood.
472
00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:03,517
-[bones crack]
-♪ Don't stop ♪
473
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,094
-♪ Me now ♪
-♪ 'Cause I'm having ♪
474
00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:06,445
-♪ A good time ♪
-♪ Don't stop ♪
475
00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:08,113
-♪ Me now ♪
-♪ Yes, I'm having ♪
476
00:20:08,266 --> 00:20:10,374
♪ A good time, I don't want to stop ♪
477
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:12,359
♪ At all ♪
478
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,119
♪ Yeah, I'm a rocket ship ♪
479
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:16,939
♪ On my way to Mars on a collision course ♪
480
00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:18,883
♪ I am a satellite ♪
481
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,718
♪ I'm out of control ♪
482
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:23,612
♪ I'm a sex machine ready to reload ♪
483
00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:25,281
♪ Like an atom bomb ♪
484
00:20:25,299 --> 00:20:27,299
♪ About to, whoa, oh, oh ♪
485
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:29,376
♪ Oh, oh, explode ♪
486
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,396
♪ I'm burning through the sky, yeah. ♪
487
00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,403
You will be housed
here in wine jail
488
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:42,131
while you await your trial
in Springfield wine court.
489
00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:43,299
Wine court?
490
00:20:43,317 --> 00:20:45,892
Yes. Wine crimes
are too sophisticated
491
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,970
for the undeveloped
legal palate
492
00:20:47,972 --> 00:20:49,321
of the American system.
493
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:52,975
She sold a champagne
that was actually a prosecco.
494
00:20:52,977 --> 00:20:55,586
He called his wine
a Beaujolais nouveau
495
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,329
but there was nothing
nouveau about it.
496
00:20:57,482 --> 00:21:00,499
And he's in solitary
for his own protection.
497
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:02,001
We don't take kindly
498
00:21:02,077 --> 00:21:04,169
to oenophiles here.
499
00:21:04,171 --> 00:21:06,989
And here is where we house
our worst offenders:
500
00:21:06,991 --> 00:21:08,491
wine counterfeiters.
501
00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:11,585
Come back later
to try our toilet wine!
502
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:15,231
We are trying to recreate
a 1974 San Quentin.
503
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:16,849
Shh.
504
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:18,776
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
505
00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:20,778
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
506
00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:23,322
and TOYOTA.36565
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