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1
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,141
Coat.
2
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,854
- Michael just rented
"The Devil Wears Prada".
3
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,314
He has his Netflix
sent here to the office
4
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:27,193
and he watches them in
pieces when things are slow.
5
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,069
Steak!
6
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,656
Where's why steak?
7
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,159
He's a big Meryl Streep fan.
8
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,077
So I shouldn't be surprised
that he's identified
9
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,746
with her character.
10
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,372
Get me Armani.
11
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,707
A suit?
12
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,459
- On the phone. - Like the main
company number?
13
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,002
'Cause I'm gonna have
to call information.
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,045
Where's Armani?
15
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,921
He's on the phone, too slow.
16
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,174
You're not going to Paris.
17
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,801
I'm so much better
than you. (laughs)
18
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:57,349
(door opens)
19
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,726
(door closes)
20
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,025
I owe you an apology.
21
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,193
You finished the movie.
22
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,527
Yeah, it was awesome.
23
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,529
Big surprise ending, I
won't ruin it for you.
24
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,615
No, go ahead.
25
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:16,409
- Meryl Streep is the bad
guy, never see it coming.
26
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:21,414
Anyway, if I was mean in
any way to you, I'm sorry.
27
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,793
I just want what's
best for you, Minushka.
28
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,802
- Macushla, he's watching
"Million Dollar Baby".
29
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,556
He's gonna try to kill me.
30
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,310
(upbeat music)
31
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,292
{\an8}Hey dude.
32
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,130
{\an8}I'm shaking them.
33
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,424
{\an8}We're gonna sneeze, one second.
34
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,258
{\an8}Okay.
35
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,927
{\an8}What's a good word?
36
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,178
Hi.
37
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,471
Oh, hello.
38
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,347
How you doing?
39
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,140
Good.
40
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,266
What is that, a picnic?
41
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,143
Ah no, curtain samples.
42
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,020
{\an8}Ah, well look at me.
43
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,647
{\an8}Living the Dulce de Leche.
44
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,525
{\an8}I'm a very, very lucky man.
45
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,194
{\an8}You know, who loves
interior design?
46
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,654
My friend, Todd Packer.
47
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:39,617
{\an8}He, he's always asking if Jan's
carpet matches her drapes.
48
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:44,039
{\an8}He now although he says,
49
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,916
{\an8}that he prefers it when
there is no carpet,
50
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,462
which doesn't make sense because
I've been to his apartment
51
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,882
and there is shag carpeting
all over the place.
52
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:59,262
{\an8}So I guess people's design
sensibilities change.
53
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,889
How's everyone doing?
54
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,182
Um you know what,
55
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,433
I'm sort of in the
middle of something.
56
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,976
You want to wait in my
office I'll be right in.
57
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,811
- Oh yeah, sure.
Okay, great.
58
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,771
{\an8}Hi Dwight, how are you?
59
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:08,605
{\an8}[Dwight] Hi Jan.
60
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:09,689
{\an8}Jim?
61
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,316
- So what are we
talking about here?
62
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,068
- We weren't talking about
anything, you just walked up.
63
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,195
{\an8}Yes I did, walked up.
64
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,698
You know what, I read a few
years ago, that power walking,
65
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,534
{\an8}it's supposed to be
very good for you.
66
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,536
And then I read another
article that said exercise
67
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,662
is supposed to be good for you.
68
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,040
So, who do you believe?
69
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,208
Jan is waiting for you.
70
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,751
Yes, I know she is Stanley.
71
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,585
I know.
72
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,838
So this one goes with my eyes
73
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,174
and this one goes
with your eyes.
74
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,677
People have said I
have very pretty eyes.
75
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,719
You do.
76
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,012
- I haven't heard
the same about you.
77
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,389
So let's just go with mine.
78
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,933
Well, they both go with the
carpet that I've ordered
79
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,018
and if we go with the
brown leather on the sofas
80
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:47,977
and they go with that too.
81
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,062
We already have a sofa.
82
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,021
So why don't-
83
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:50,855
A futon's not a sofa.
84
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,440
It folds up.
85
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,692
You've only seen it flat.
86
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,151
- I know what a
futon is Michael.
87
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,195
- Okay, How much
is this gonna cost?
88
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,030
- It costs what it costs.
No, don't.
89
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,990
- That doesn't even anything.
- We've gone through this.
90
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:01,991
Okay we have gone through this,
91
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,201
Yes.
92
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,036
Money has been a little
bit tight lately,
93
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,708
but at the end of my life,
when I'm sitting on my yacht,
94
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,960
am I gonna be thinking
about how much money I have?
95
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:16,798
No, I'm going to be thinking
about how many friends I have
96
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,301
and my children and
my comedy albums.
97
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,512
I mean I have a yacht,
98
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,973
so I obviously did
pretty well money-wise.
99
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,226
It's just, you know, you say
it's gonna cost what it costs-
100
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,437
(phone rings)
101
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,479
Yeah.
102
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,480
- [Erin] Michael
it's Ryan for you.
103
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,857
Ah, conniving little rut.
104
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,233
Put him through.
105
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,109
Put him through.
106
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,569
Yes Ryan, my man.
107
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,821
- [Ryan] I sent you an email
about the new PowerPoint.
108
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,072
Yes.
109
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,490
Thank you for
sending that to me.
110
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,950
- [Ryan] I had IT install
the updated PowerPoint
111
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,827
on your computer so you can
use it for the presentation.
112
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,912
I really want people
there using PowerPoint.
113
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,788
Okay.
114
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,123
Yeah. No, I don't know.
115
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,833
I don't know, I think
those IT guys messed up.
116
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,418
- [Ryan] Hold on I'll
get them on the phone.
117
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,004
- Well you know, here it
is, here it is found it.
118
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:56,880
Sure, I can hold.
119
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,673
(phone rings)
120
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,925
- Dunder Mifflin,
Dwight Schrute.
121
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:01,801
Please hold.
122
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,274
Schrute Farms, guten tag.
123
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,359
How can I help you?
124
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,445
Yes, we have availability
on those nights.
125
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,654
How many in your party?
126
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,324
Oh no, I'm sorry.
127
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,201
No king beds.
128
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,827
No queen either.
129
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,413
Well, we make our own
mattresses that don't conform
130
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,457
to the traditional sizes.
131
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,833
Closest would be twin.
132
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,920
Thank you so much for
calling, call back again.
133
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,088
Auf wiedersehen.
134
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,133
Hey Dwight.
135
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,677
None of your business, Jim.
136
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:44,844
You running bed and breakfast?
137
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,262
It is not a B&B.
138
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,349
Agritourism is a lot more
than a bed and breakfast.
139
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:52,519
It consists of tourists
coming to a farm,
140
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,479
showing them around,
141
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,231
giving them a bed,
142
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,857
giving them breakfast.
143
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,695
- Does the Department of
Health know about this?
144
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,905
I am not telling you anything.
145
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:04,864
Permits are pending.
146
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,325
Dwight Schrute, Dunder Mifflin.
147
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,535
- [Pam] Hello? I'm
looking for a room.
148
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,496
- Okay this is a misuse
of company phones.
149
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,623
- It says here you
cater to the elderly.
150
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:14,749
Where did you read that?
151
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,875
TripAdvisor.
152
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:22,007
- TripAdvisor is the lifeblood
of the agritourism industry.
153
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,258
A couple of bad reviews there,
154
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,884
you may as well close up shop.
155
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,012
That's what took
down the Stalk Inn,
156
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,973
one of the cutest little
asparagus farms you'll ever see.
157
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:32,726
How many in your party?
158
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,270
Two.
159
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,356
- We offer tours of the
fields and of the barn.
160
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,524
Perhaps you'd be interested
161
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,318
in Moses' table-making
demonstration.
162
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,862
So tonight is available.
163
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,863
Can I put you down?
164
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,072
How many people?
165
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,240
Ah just one second, please.
166
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,366
Sure thing.
167
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,869
(phone rings)
168
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,203
Hello?
169
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,205
- Do you wanna stay at
Schrute Farms tonight?
170
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,999
- Wow, we had been
wanting to get away.
171
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,503
- So I forgot to tell you
that I need the car tonight.
172
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:04,049
Oh, actually I need the car.
173
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:04,883
Why?
174
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,468
For improv?
175
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,138
Oh why don't you just
pretend that you have a car,
176
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,849
good practice in case you
ever do a scene where you need
177
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:13,975
to pretend you have a car.
178
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,895
- Used to have two
cars, traded them in.
179
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:20,190
Now we're down to one,
good economic sense.
180
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,818
Although the new car
is a Porsche for her.
181
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:25,945
One cardigan.
182
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,657
One sleeping cardigan.
183
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,119
One sleep apnea mask.
184
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,416
What about my cherub figurine?
185
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,876
You took that with you.
186
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:43,463
- No, I left it on my night
table, your night table,
187
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,422
by the lamp.
188
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,424
You are incorrect.
189
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,468
I was recently scrubbing
my room of memories
190
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,803
and I didn't see it there.
191
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,681
Fine.
192
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,557
- My girlfriend and
I broke up recently
193
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,477
and I must say I am relieved.
194
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,938
It gives me a chance
to sell my wild oats.
195
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,272
In the Schrute family,
196
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,900
we have a tradition where
when the male has sex
197
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,986
with another woman, he's
rewarded with a bag of wild oats
198
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,698
left on his doorstep
by his parents.
199
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,325
You can use those oats
to make oatmeal, bread,
200
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,201
whatever you want.
201
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,077
I don't care.
202
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:14,869
They're your oats.
203
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,540
- The bar uses an
applause meter.
204
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,167
That is why it is so
important that you all come
205
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:25,672
and applaud only for my
band, Scrantonicity 2.
206
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:30,135
Not Scrantonicity, which
I am no longer a part of.
207
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,262
Michael, can I count on you?
208
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,264
- You cannot I have
a thing tonight.
209
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,098
Damn it.
210
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,268
Uh Michael.
211
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,602
What?
212
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,063
- That reminds me if the
invitation still stands,
213
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,024
Pam and I would love
to have dinner tonight.
214
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,735
Oh no.
215
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,904
I have a thing tonight, stinks.
216
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:50,739
Darn it.
217
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,948
Shoot.
218
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,992
- What do you got
going on tonight?
219
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,036
- You wouldn't
understand, it's a secret.
220
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,955
- I wouldn't understand
or it's a secret?
221
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,666
- You won't understand
Jim, it's a secret?
222
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,883
(bus engine roaring)
223
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,092
- [Michael] I'm
sorry Mr. O'Brien,
224
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,844
I didn't mean to
interrupt your dinner.
225
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,554
I just have a very
exciting offer.
226
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,057
My records indicate that
you have expressed interest
227
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,767
in losing some weight.
228
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,810
Well, what if I told
you that I have a pill
229
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,355
that will make you 50 pounds
lighter in five minutes?
230
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,898
How would that sound?
231
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,107
Amazing right?
232
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,401
Well, it won't be that fast,
233
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,154
but it will, it
will be that easy.
234
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,409
- [Jim] I can't believe
this place is real.
235
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,204
I mean, I had heard about
his beet farm for years,
236
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,080
but I never thought-
237
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,289
The Beets Motel.
238
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,208
The Beets Motel.
239
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,001
That is wow.
240
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:45,835
Thank you.
241
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,171
The Borscht Hotel.
242
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,673
Ah.
243
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,758
The Embassy Beets Radish Inn.
244
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,863
I'm sorry ma'am,
245
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,407
I thought you were on
our do-call registry.
246
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,908
My apologies.
247
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,369
Listen, while having on the
line, let me ask you a question.
248
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:21,955
In a perfect world, how
much would you weigh?
249
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,873
I just love sales.
250
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,835
I love it to death,
it's as simple as that.
251
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,796
And I don't get to do
enough of it as a manager.
252
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:34,676
So I took this second
job, kind of as a hobby.
253
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:38,054
Some people have
golf for relaxing.
254
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,140
What's going on here?
255
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,058
Hey, I just got off the phone
256
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,852
and I was gonna
make another call.
257
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,147
- We're a legit operation
with a license from the city,
258
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,273
I can show you.
259
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,899
We pay minimum wage
against commission.
260
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,693
Nope, they're with me so,
261
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:55,280
this is Nick Figaro,
manager to the stars.
262
00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,118
- Diet pills is a good
business, high turnover.
263
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,661
We don't pay well, but so what?
264
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,455
They just read from the script.
265
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,873
Some stay a month.
266
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,125
Vikram has been
here the longest.
267
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,376
You want to talk
to a good salesman?
268
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,627
You talk to Vikram.
269
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,421
- Well I'm the only
one who's not lazy.
270
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,966
- We have three rooms, each
with a different theme.
271
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,343
What are the themes?
272
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:20,305
- America, irrigation
and nighttime.
273
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,598
Irrigation.
274
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,599
Nice.
275
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,892
I'll put you down irrigation.
276
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,436
Now then, do you have
any special needs
277
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,104
or dietary restrictions?
278
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:31,149
- Yes, we will be
requiring a bedtime story.
279
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,025
No.
280
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:33,860
Not even Harry Potter?
281
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:34,986
No Jim, come on.
282
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,820
- [Mose] But you promised-
283
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,322
Mose bags, now.
284
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,577
(door slams)
285
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,912
How will you be paying?
286
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:45,914
I got this one.
287
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,335
There you go.
288
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,754
- I'm sorry, we only take
MasterCard or Diners Club.
289
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,005
You take Diners Club?
290
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,592
Ah, Pam, Diners Club?
291
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,385
No.
292
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,763
Dwight, Diners Club?
293
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,181
I have a Diners Club card.
294
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,474
Great, let's put on that.
295
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,520
I'll pay you back.
296
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,729
Very well.
297
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:13,400
(group chattering)
298
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:18,238
- Everybody in the conference
room in five minutes.
299
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,075
These meetings are useless.
300
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,619
- I just wanna remind you
to stick to the script.
301
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,079
It's been proven to work.
302
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:31,042
So make the call, say
the lines, make the sale.
303
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,752
Got it?
304
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,379
Very inspirational.
305
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,298
(group laughs)
306
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,676
- We're offering a $50
bonus tonight to the guy
307
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:40,802
with the most sales, okay?
308
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:41,886
Or woman?
309
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:42,971
Or train seal.
310
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,349
- You can make jokes when
you've made a sale there rookie.
311
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,183
Okay?
312
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:51,855
[Dwight] Here we are.
313
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,691
The irrigation room,
very special room.
314
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:55,692
So I'll come and get you before
315
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,110
the table-making demonstration.
316
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,570
And as of this morning,
317
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,406
we are completely wireless
here at Schrute Farms.
318
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,700
But as soon as I find out
where Mose hid all the wires,
319
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,660
we'll get that power back on.
320
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:06,453
Alrighty.
321
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,082
Hmm.
322
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,669
Hmm, I'd say one in six.
323
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:16,963
What?
324
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,214
- I thought you asked
me what our chances,
325
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,841
we're being murdered
here tonight.
326
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:20,842
(Pam chuckles)
327
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,677
You know I just realized,
328
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,430
this is Pam's and my
first night away together.
329
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,016
I used to play it over my head
330
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,311
and it was just a
little bit different.
331
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:35,648
Maybe a nice hotel or a
romantic dinner, wine,
332
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,652
but wine that wasn't
made out of beets.
333
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,947
Didn't think Dwight
would be involved at all.
334
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,993
And I, I always
imagined less manure.
335
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:50,497
I mean some manure, just less.
336
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:52,832
Mose what are you doing?
337
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,125
No Mose.
338
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,127
Put the, put the manure
down, put it down.
339
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,213
Do not throw it, do not, aw.
340
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,507
Yes is Mr. Hudson there?
341
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,133
- [Mr. Hudson]
Yeah, who is this?
342
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,886
I'm just calling because
you responded positively to-
343
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,013
[Mr. Hudson] Michael?
344
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,056
Stanley?
345
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,434
- [Mr. Hudson] Why are you
calling me here at home?
346
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,645
- Señor are you happy with
your long-distance survey?
347
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,939
- [Mr. Hudson] Micheal,
Michael I know that's you.
348
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,441
Why are you calling
me here at home?
349
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,528
- Have you con, have you
considered satellite television?
350
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,987
- [Mr. Hudson] Michael,
I know that's you.
351
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:23,988
I know your voice.
352
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,532
All right.
353
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,283
- [Mr. Hudson] Why are you
calling me here at home?
354
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,328
- [Customer] When I'm at home
at night in my own house,
355
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,247
in my sweats drinking
some red wine,
356
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,873
watching my mystery stories.
357
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,167
The last thing in the
whole god-forsaken world
358
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,045
I wanna hear is the
voice of Michael Scott.
359
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,672
- Well, your son sounds
like he's really motivated.
360
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,550
I think it's crazy that the
coach won't play him frankly.
361
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:45,969
My office.
362
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,595
You bet.
363
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,849
- Just dial the number on the
sheet and stick to the script.
364
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,184
Say those words exactly, got it?
365
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,186
I don't know why we have to
keep having this conversation.
366
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,189
- Look, I know sales
and I had that sale.
367
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,315
I just needed a
few more minutes.
368
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,275
- To seal the deal.
- A few more minutes,
369
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,735
is a waste of our time.
370
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,611
- It's not a waste of time.
- It's a trading game.
371
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,071
No.
372
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,656
- You give a quick pitch. You
make the sale and move on.
373
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:07,866
That's how Vikram does it.
374
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,451
- Vikram doesn't have
my people skills.
375
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,162
- Good for Vikram because
he outsells you every night.
376
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,708
- Now, I hope this
conversation has helped.
377
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,214
- "And Harry saw the
white hand raise its wand
378
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,800
and felt Voldemort's
surge of vicious anger,
379
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:30,055
saw the frail old man on the
floor writhe in agony, 'Harry'.
380
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,474
It was over as quickly
as it had come.
381
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,351
Harry stood shaking
in the darkness,
382
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,687
clutching the gate into the
garden, his heart racing."
383
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,731
- You know what, here's the
thing about "Die Hard 4",
384
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,608
"Die Hard 1", the original,
385
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:45,403
John McClane is just this
normal guy, you know.
386
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:49,074
He's just a normal New York
City cop who gets his feet cut
387
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,450
and he gets beat up.
388
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:52,202
But he's an everyday guy,
389
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:55,705
in "Die Hard 4", he is
jumping a motorcycle
390
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,791
into a helicopter in the air.
391
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:58,667
Yeah.
392
00:15:58,708 --> 00:15:59,876
You know.
393
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,252
- He's invincible. -
[Colleague] Totally.
394
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,671
- It's just sort of
loss with "Die Hard 1",
395
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:03,922
it's not "Terminator".
396
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,758
- Dude, you should
review movies.
397
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,093
Oh my God, yes.
398
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,678
- I'm telling you,
yeah you should.
399
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:10,595
I actually wrote a movie.
400
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,304
Really?
401
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,806
I'm writing one, yeah.
402
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:13,807
[Colleague] What's that about?
403
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,892
Um, sort of a spy thriller.
404
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,602
Hey what's so captivating?
405
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,523
I love captivating things.
406
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,274
And this must really
be captivating
407
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,443
because it's keeping
you off the phones.
408
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,611
I mean time is your money.
409
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,114
That's how I know
how captivating it is
410
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,282
because how much time
you've spent talking.
411
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,161
(door bangs)
412
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,790
- [Jim] Wait, you're
going out there?
413
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,667
[Pam] Yeah, coward.
414
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,504
(thumping sound)
415
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,644
Oh my God.
416
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,187
What century is this?
417
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:06,026
- Are there any circumstances
where you would be interested?
418
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:06,985
[Customer] No.
419
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:10,155
What if these were magic pills
420
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,323
that could make you invisible?
421
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,867
Want a big bottle then, right?
422
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:17,120
And a map to the
sorority shower.
423
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,163
- [Customer] I don't
want diet pills.
424
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,664
Okay.
425
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,082
Hey, how about this?
426
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:24,252
Um, you run a dental
practice, right?
427
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,838
You use paper.
428
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,507
I can get you all that you
need from a top company,
429
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,884
30 cents a ream.
430
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:31,718
[Customer] Really?
431
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,011
- Mm-hmm.
432
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:33,970
- [Customer] That's way
below the company I use.
433
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,013
Staples?
434
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,431
[Customer] Dunder Mifflin.
435
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,312
- Well, good luck with all
your weight loss, blah, blah.
436
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,647
[Colleague Man] Michael,
437
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,232
a bunch of us are going
to get dinner, you in?
438
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,692
- Oh no, I'm
brown-bagging it tonight.
439
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:48,985
- [Colleague Man] Ah.
- [Colleague Woman ] Ah.
440
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,195
Come on it'll be fun,
you never eat with us.
441
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,029
[Colleague Man] Come on.
442
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,364
Another time, thanks.
443
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,782
- See you later.
- One of these days Michael.
444
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:54,616
Okay.
445
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,787
What'd you get tonight?
446
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:02,332
- Oh, it looks like mixed
masala, eggplant and rice.
447
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,292
Oh that looks good.
448
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,836
- And what about you, a
peanut butter flavor again?
449
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,757
- I am going with the
vanilla crisp this evening.
450
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:12,801
Enjoy.
451
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:13,760
Thank you.
452
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,890
I was a sergeant back home.
453
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,558
- Really?
- Yeah.
454
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,935
- I wonder what I would
have been back home.
455
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:22,936
Well this is your home.
456
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:23,937
Well, I don't know.
457
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,481
But it's so competitive here.
458
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,110
What's a dollar
worth in your land?
459
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,862
Medical school must
cost like 40 bucks
460
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:33,988
or a dockie or something?
461
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:34,948
Ah no.
462
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,786
- I would have been
Chief of Surgery.
463
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:44,916
Or a cowboy.
464
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,627
(Dwight wails)
465
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,173
[Pam] Ah, your turn.
466
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,801
(floor creaks)
467
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,772
(door knock)
468
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,067
- [Dwight] Come in, did
you have another nightmare.
469
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,448
Hey Dwight.
470
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,076
Oh, Jim.
471
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:22,996
I thought you were Mose.
472
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,456
Does Mose have nightmares?
473
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,335
Oh yes, ever since the storm.
474
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,508
Is everything satisfactory
with your stay?
475
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,470
Yeah, yeah.
476
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,679
[Dwight] Great.
477
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:43,516
- Just thought I heard
crying or moaning
478
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:44,726
or something in here.
479
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,606
- Oh, well I'll look
into that in the morning.
480
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,070
Thank you for bringing that
to the attention of the staff.
481
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,698
Goodnight Dwight.
482
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,504
(Dwight wails)
483
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,635
- Hey, so we're all
gonna go out for a beer.
484
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:19,886
You wanna come?
485
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,179
- We'd love for you
to come, Michael.
486
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,515
- Thanks no, I have to
work in the morning so.
487
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,307
All right next time dude.
488
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,350
It's okay.
489
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,184
See you guys.
490
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,229
Hey, how you doing?
491
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,149
You drive, had too much wine.
492
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,025
Okay.
493
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:36,403
How was yoga?
494
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,279
I didn't go.
495
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:39,155
Why, why not?
496
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,115
Just didn't.
497
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:42,075
Okay.
498
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,034
How was improv?
499
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:47,163
Goodnight Vikram.
500
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,164
Goodnight.
501
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,249
Hey, congrats on the bonus.
502
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500
Thank you, Michael.
503
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,043
- I'm gonna have
one of these nights.
504
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,254
- Well, if you concentrate and
make your calls faster yeah.
505
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,299
Goodnight.
506
00:20:58,341 --> 00:20:59,134
Goodnight.
507
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:04,889
Pam,
508
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,975
you don't think they'll mind
if we take the shampoo, do you?
509
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:07,851
- Uh-uh
510
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:08,643
Okay.
511
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,815
(door slams)
512
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,905
Thank you Mose.
513
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,076
Everybody poops.
514
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,246
Yes, I do.
515
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:31,041
- There's no other way
to get rid of the food.
516
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,543
Where's the Dwight?
517
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:34,544
Gone.
518
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,545
Where'd he go?
519
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:36,921
His day place.
520
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:37,922
The office.
521
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,132
What office?
522
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,884
Hmm.
523
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:45,055
- Mose, Angela hasn't
been around here
much lately, has she?
524
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:46,264
Angela?
525
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,308
- Angela, she used to
stay here sometimes.
526
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:50,310
Angela
527
00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,866
(door slams)
528
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:21,424
Michael.
529
00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:22,300
Hmm.
530
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:24,969
Morning.
531
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:25,845
Hi.
532
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,978
(door slams)
533
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,939
Hey Dwight, how are you?
534
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:36,773
Pam.
535
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,026
You okay?
536
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:44,155
- I am better than you have
ever been or ever will be.
537
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,076
- You left so early, I figured
you'd get here before us.
538
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,328
- Yeah, well maybe
I went to the gym
539
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,621
and did a thousand sit-ups
540
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,790
and a thousand pushups
and a thousand pull-ups.
541
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:56,543
Did you?
542
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,504
- Maybe I walked around
downtown Scranton,
543
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,965
listening to awesome
music on my Walkman.
544
00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:03,466
Did you?
545
00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:05,385
- I sat in my car
by a lake somewhere.
546
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,224
Hey guys.
547
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:12,434
What's happening?
548
00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:14,019
How's my favorite branch doing?
549
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,023
Okay, Michael why
don't you start us off?
550
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:21,735
- Um, that wasn't much
of an introduction.
551
00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:26,406
- Ladies and gentlemen,
your boss, Michael Scott.
552
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,033
Still lame, okay.
553
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,785
All right, um.
554
00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:35,415
Thank you Ryan, for that
wonderful introduction.
555
00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:39,502
Okay, um.
556
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:44,716
Today, we're going to be
talking about PowerPoint,
557
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:51,222
PowerPoint,
PowerPoint, PowerPoint.
558
00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,725
Yes I forgot about
Ryan's presentation
559
00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:56,353
and yes it would have
been nice to do well
560
00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:58,813
with the first presentation
that he'd given me.
561
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:01,358
But you know what else
would have been nice?
562
00:24:01,399 --> 00:24:02,359
Winning the lottery.
563
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:07,113
And the best way to
start is to hit, start.
564
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:11,242
and up comes the toolbar.
565
00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:12,619
That's what she said.
566
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:17,207
What we have to do
here is go to run.
567
00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:21,961
And then you look
up to PowerPoint
568
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,091
and we are in.
569
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:28,343
We are going to register.
570
00:24:28,385 --> 00:24:30,387
You hit register.
571
00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:32,847
Updates are ready,
I should update.
572
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:36,976
Estimated time, 12 minutes.
573
00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:39,229
So this should take
about 5 or 10 minutes.
574
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:41,398
- This is the first time
you've opened PowerPoint.
575
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:42,899
Why?
576
00:24:42,941 --> 00:24:44,067
- You didn't prepare a
presentation at all, did you?
577
00:24:44,109 --> 00:24:46,528
You know what I had
a really rough night
578
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:48,113
and my boss can
back me up on that.
579
00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,406
I'm your boss.
580
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:50,907
My other boss, Mr Figaro.
581
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:52,867
You have another job.
582
00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:55,578
- What I do between
5:30 PM and 1:00 AM
583
00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:59,666
is nobody's business but
mine and my other businesses.
584
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:01,668
Are you cocktail waitress?
585
00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:05,422
- You cannot have a second job
if it affects your work here.
586
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:06,297
It won't.
587
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,257
It did, already.
588
00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:09,426
Okay honestly,
589
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:12,262
it is unlikely that I was
gonna figure this out anyway.
590
00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:15,265
(Kelly laughs)
591
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,433
You're so funny.
592
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:17,475
Why is Darryl here?
593
00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:18,601
He works in the warehouse.
594
00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:19,477
I invited him.
595
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,979
It's not a party.
596
00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:22,772
Darryl back downstairs, this
isn't the information you need.
597
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,065
This information here?
598
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:26,401
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need this.
599
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,403
Okay.
600
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:30,321
(Kelly moans)
601
00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,489
Hey, come on.
602
00:25:33,408 --> 00:25:34,826
Um, see you later tonight.
603
00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:35,910
I've got plans later.
604
00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:37,162
Okay, bye honey.
605
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:46,046
- How long until you actually
get this presentation ready?
606
00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,714
- Why don't you do
this presentation?
607
00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:48,798
- Because I don't want-
- I mean you know
608
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:49,883
how to do it.
609
00:25:49,924 --> 00:25:51,468
- What I really want
honestly Michael,
610
00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:52,761
is for you to know it,
611
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:53,970
so that you can communicate
it to the people here
612
00:25:54,012 --> 00:25:55,472
to your clients, to whomever.
613
00:25:55,513 --> 00:25:56,514
Oh okay.
614
00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:57,807
What?
615
00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,434
It's whoever not whomever.
616
00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:00,643
No to whomever.
617
00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:02,520
- No whomever is
never actually right.
618
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:03,521
No sometimes it's right.
619
00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:04,814
Michael is right.
620
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:06,691
It's a made-up word
used to trick students.
621
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:10,695
- No, actually whomever is the
formal version of the word.
622
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:12,072
Obviously it's a real word,
623
00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:13,865
but I don't know when
to use it correctly.
624
00:26:13,907 --> 00:26:14,824
Not a native speaker.
625
00:26:14,866 --> 00:26:16,159
I know what's right,
626
00:26:16,201 --> 00:26:18,370
but I'm not gonna say
because you're all jerks
627
00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,288
who didn't come see
my band last night.
628
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,581
- Do you really know
which one is correct?
629
00:26:21,623 --> 00:26:23,041
I don't know.
630
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,626
- It's whom when it's the
object of the sentence,
631
00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:26,419
then who, when it's the subject?
632
00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:27,504
That sounds right.
633
00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:28,838
- Well it sounds
right, but is it?
634
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,423
- How did Ryan use
it as an object?
635
00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:31,841
- As an object?
- Ryan used me as an object.
636
00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:33,009
- Is he right about that-
637
00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:34,344
How did he use it again?
638
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:36,388
- It was, Ryan wanted
Michael, the subject
639
00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:39,015
to explain the computer
system the object,
640
00:26:39,057 --> 00:26:42,268
to whomever, meaning
us the indirect object,
641
00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:44,312
which is the, the correct
usage of the word.
642
00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:46,981
- No one asked
you anything ever.
643
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,525
So whomever's name is Toby.
644
00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,485
Why don't you take
a letter opener
645
00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:51,444
and stick it into your skull?
646
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:52,404
Wait, this doesn't matter.
647
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,155
And I don't even care.
648
00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:56,408
Michael, you quit the
job or you're fired here.
649
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:04,874
(door opens)
650
00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:09,254
- Okay um, I'm about to
quit my full-time job.
651
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:12,716
My second full-time job
at the diet pill company,
652
00:27:12,757 --> 00:27:13,925
have a long story,
653
00:27:15,427 --> 00:27:18,221
but I think I basically
covered it by now.
654
00:27:18,263 --> 00:27:21,933
Um, I've never done this before.
655
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:25,437
I've never quit
anything in my life.
656
00:27:26,771 --> 00:27:31,526
So you are filming
history right here.
657
00:27:32,277 --> 00:27:34,863
Okay, all right.
658
00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:35,989
Let's rock and roll.
659
00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:37,699
Let's do it.
660
00:27:39,159 --> 00:27:40,535
Nick,
661
00:27:40,577 --> 00:27:43,371
I had a dream last night that
I had two full-time jobs.
662
00:27:43,413 --> 00:27:46,750
One here at the Lippafredizone
diet pill company.
663
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:47,584
Lipophedrine.
664
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,210
And the other,
665
00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:51,713
I was a regional manager of
a small paper supply company
666
00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:52,881
called Dunder Mifflin.
667
00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:54,424
Never heard of it.
668
00:27:54,466 --> 00:27:57,844
- In this dream, I did both
of these jobs beautifully
669
00:27:57,886 --> 00:27:59,012
and I loved it.
670
00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:00,847
And everybody loved me.
671
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:03,099
The truth is, I can't do this.
672
00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,351
I don't have any time to eat.
673
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:06,019
I don't have any time to sleep.
674
00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:07,562
- Then when did you
have this dream?
675
00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:09,439
I made it up, Nick.
676
00:28:09,481 --> 00:28:10,315
Are you quitting?
677
00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:13,610
I am.
678
00:28:13,651 --> 00:28:14,819
Come back anytime.
679
00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:16,654
Don't forget to
disinfect your headset.
680
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,992
- I was never in
this for the money,
681
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:25,246
but it turns out that the money
682
00:28:25,288 --> 00:28:27,123
was an absolute
necessity for me.
683
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,959
I tried to live the dream.
684
00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:34,839
I tried to have a job, a
girlfriend, another job,
685
00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:36,132
and I failed.
686
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:39,844
But the good thing about
the American Dream,
687
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:45,058
is that you can just go to
sleep and try it all again,
688
00:28:53,817 --> 00:28:57,529
My biggest worry would
probably be my mortgage.
689
00:28:57,570 --> 00:29:01,866
Um, my second biggest
would be the fear of death,
690
00:29:03,159 --> 00:29:06,454
um while being destitute.
691
00:29:06,496 --> 00:29:08,289
My third,
692
00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:12,002
well I'm having nightmares about
a monster who's chasing me,
693
00:29:12,043 --> 00:29:16,131
who wants money,
but I have none, um.
694
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:17,841
- In the winter we
have snowball fights,
695
00:29:17,882 --> 00:29:19,050
in the fall and the summer,
696
00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:21,553
Mose has to make do with
whatever he can find.
697
00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:24,889
Last week, he built a manure
man, almost as big as himself.
698
00:29:27,684 --> 00:29:28,435
What are you...
699
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:31,938
I am gonna kill you.
700
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:32,856
Ahhh (spits)
701
00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:34,107
Ahhh (spits)
702
00:29:34,149 --> 00:29:37,152
It got in my mouth!
Damn it Mose!
703
00:29:37,193 --> 00:29:40,363
(gentle piano music)
704
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:42,991
(upbeat music)
48911
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