All language subtitles for My.Name.Is.Earl.S04E06.1080p.BluRay.x265-KONTRAST

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,696 My name is Earl. 2 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:08,262 [Earl Narrating] It used to be the best part about finishing a meal at the Crab Shack... 3 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,775 was that you were finished with a meal at the Crab Shack. 4 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:13,209 But Darnell was makin' a few changes. 5 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:16,043 Can I tempt you fellas with some desserts? 6 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,049 Wow, strawberry shortcake. Fancy. 7 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,051 We're tryin' to class the place up... 8 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,383 and this was easier than tryin' to get rid of that smell. 9 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,684 That strawberry shortcake sure does look good, huh, Earl? 10 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,760 I don't like strawberries. But I'm gonna take that German chocolate. 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,193 - [Bell Dings] - I don't like strawberries too. 12 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:33,026 I didn't realize that's what was in it. 13 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:37,001 Chocolate sounds better. And German's one of my favorite flavors. 14 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,295 You boys finish up your homework. 15 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,307 Don't do too good a job at it. 16 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,468 Mama needs that summer school for free day care. 17 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,807 I gotta draw something I think is beautiful for art class... 18 00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,813 and I can't think of anything. 19 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,940 Well, what about a butterfly or a rainbow... 20 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,246 or the small of Denzel Washington's back? 21 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,048 I drew something beautiful, Mom. 22 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,988 - Who is that? - Her. 23 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:04,793 Please tell me somebody slipped you a shot of vodka. 24 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,957 - Oh, yeah. She's mine. - [Men Chuckling] 25 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,058 [Men Chattering] 26 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,570 [Jasper] That's mine. Right there. Come on! Hey, check it out. 27 00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,572 A dude cheerleader! [Groans] 28 00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:17,575 They should put a skirt on him, like the rest of the girls. 29 00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:20,612 And stuff his bra. And put lipstick on him. 30 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:24,649 [Earl Narrating] This wasn't the first mob I had ever seen turn on a male cheerleader. 31 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,345 And it reminded me of somethin'on my list. 32 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,682 - [School Bell Rings] - Hey, Kenny. 33 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,188 - [Gasps] - Whoa. Where you goin'? 34 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,987 - Didn't you hear? I'm the new backpack inspector. - [Zipper Opens] 35 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,860 George Orwell, you sure were right about 1984. 36 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,864 [Chuckles] What's this? 37 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:43,493 Oh, my God. Kenny wants to be a cheerleader! 38 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:47,130 N-N-No, I don't! I was gonna audition for the football- 39 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,107 A sock, man. Nice, Randy. 40 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:53,543 But you already crossed Kenny off. Remember? You made him gay. 41 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,206 Well, I crossed "Always picked on KennyJames" off my list... 42 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,717 but "Kept Kenny from his dream of cheerleading" is an entirely different list item. 43 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,447 Well, then "Made Randy drink toilet water when he was eight"... 44 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:06,321 and "Made Randy drink toilet water when he was 10" better be two separate list items. 45 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,630 Keep talkin', I'm gonna cut off that hair! 46 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,168 [Voice Cracks] That beautiful, beautiful hair. 47 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:19,170 [Woman On TV] At Kimmi Himler Cheer Academy... 48 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,263 you too will be able to tuck, toe touch, tumble... 49 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,808 fly and basket toss with the best of them! 50 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,902 Each camp session includes an end of session cheer-off! 51 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,981 Come for the cheer. Stay for the friendships. 52 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,982 [Man On TV] Friendships not guaranteed by camp. 53 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,143 We've got spirit! Yes, we do! 54 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:36,120 We've got spirit! How about you? 55 00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:39,191 [Woman On TV] How about you? You? You? 56 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,192 So I checked with the camp... 57 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:44,263 and they said they're okay with a grown man staying in dorms with teen girls. 58 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,094 You just have to sign a "no statutory rape" waiver. 59 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,328 I told 'em you were gay, but they said they're not fallin' for that again. 60 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,894 Oh, well, that's so nice of you. But that cheerleading flyer wasn't mine. 61 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,498 I've been trying to tell you. That was ac- 62 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:59,976 [Earl Narrating] There was a reason Randy kept stickin'socks in Kenny's mouth. 63 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,412 Kenny didn't want to be a cheerleader. Randy did. 64 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,711 - Turns out, I only knew half the story. - [School Bell Rings] 65 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:07,718 Say anything and I'll kill you. 66 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,755 For a gay guy, you sure do have a good memory. 67 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,690 Randy, l-I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader. 68 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,693 Come back so we can talk about this! 69 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,730 That's what girlie guys like to do, right? Talk about stuff? 70 00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,367 [Lock Clicks] 71 00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:29,366 - I'm in here. - So am I. 72 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,638 [Earl Narrating] Randy wantin'to be a dude cheerleader seemed kinda crazy. 73 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,975 But lookin'back, he'd given me plenty of clues. 74 00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,743 - [Stomps] - Cockroach. 75 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,080 [Sighs] 76 00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,688 I'll have the number two special. 77 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,227 - What would you like to order, Randy? - Number one! 78 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:55,966 - Well, that's the last beer. - I'll go get another case. 79 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,402 ## [Girls Vocalizing] 80 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:06,406 - Randy? Come on. Randy? - How long do you think you're gonna be in here? 81 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:09,777 These bubbles are going fast, and Kenny doesn't like anyone else to see Chester. 82 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,907 Stuart, put a washcloth over Chester! 83 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,576 [Earl] Randy, you're on my list now. 84 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,780 And l-I can't cross you off until I send you to cheerleadin'camp. 85 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:19,255 So you can make fun of me? 86 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,089 - Tell him you want to go too. - No! I'm a man. 87 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,062 It's the only way Randy will do it. He follows whatever you do. 88 00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,997 How many years were you Batman and Big Batman for Halloween? 89 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,366 [Earl Narrating] Kenny was right. Randy does do everything I do. 90 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,530 And if I was gonna cross him off my list... 91 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,165 we were gonna have to be cheerleader and big cheerleader. 92 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,767 I made fun of dude cheerleaders 'cause- 93 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,210 [Exhales] I kinda wanted to be one too. 94 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,976 L-I just didn't think I could make it. 95 00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:47,211 - You're just sayin' that. - I love cheerin'. 96 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,153 My whole life, I've dreamed of ownin' a pom. 97 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,315 - Pom-poms. - Y-Two poms. 98 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:56,156 In fact, l-l-I've been sneakin'off to cheer for years. 99 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:59,959 But mostly in the shower, so I've never tried anything too advanced... 100 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,830 'cause of how slippery it is in there. 101 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:05,460 Yeah. That's why I wear my shoes when I shower. 102 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,471 Do you still want to be a cheerleader? 103 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:14,003 Yep. That's why I'm gonna go to this camp with or without you. 104 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:17,514 Randy, I don't know much about cheerleading camp... 105 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:20,347 but it sounds [Singsong] spectacular! 106 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,353 Kenny taught me to say it that way. 107 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:29,188 [Cheering, Indistinct] 108 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,465 - Ready? - Okay. 109 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:41,772 [Earl Narrating] When we were kids, I'd destroyed Randy's dream ofbecoming a cheerleader... 110 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,604 which probably kept Dad from kickin'him out of the house. 111 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,202 But I still needed to make it up to him. 112 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,009 And while we were goin'after Randy's dreams... 113 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,584 Joy was tryin'to replace Catalina in her son's dreams. 114 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:58,350 Hey, sweetheart. 115 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,120 - Mom- - Yes, baby? 116 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,787 You look old. 117 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,363 You look old! 118 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,399 [Earl Narrating] Camp was already a nightmare for me... 119 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,400 but for Randy it was a dream come true. 120 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,402 My name is Skyler. 121 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,371 If you go high, then I'll go higher. 122 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:20,538 My name is Randy and I like candy and I like corn dogs. 123 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:26,585 [Woman] Hello, cheermates, and welcome to the Kimmi Himler Cheer Academy! 124 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,813 [Cheering] 125 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:32,584 My name is Kimmi Himler. 126 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,627 What's wrong with your face? 127 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,892 Oh, apparently we have some new campers with us today. 128 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,967 [Earl Narrating] Turns out Kimmi Himler was once the captain... 129 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,469 of the Nathanville Community College Fightin'Badger cheerleading squad. 130 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:49,473 We are Badgers. B-A-D-G-E-R-S. 131 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,475 We're bad. We're Badgers. 132 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,138 And their senior year, they ditched the guy in the suit and got a real badger... 133 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,443 - which they didn't really think through. - [Chuckles] 134 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:58,983 [Pole Clatters] 135 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,747 He's gone! The badger's gone! 136 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,749 Okay, everything's gonna be okay... 137 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:08,156 as long as none of them girls are on their period. 138 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,662 - [Screaming] - [Badger Roaring] 139 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:16,428 Go Badgers! Go. Go! 140 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,595 - [Screaming Continues] - [Roaring Continues] 141 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,867 The point is, I never stopped cheering... 142 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:25,239 even after the attack, when they had to stick an eight-inch rabies needle... 143 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,108 directly into my stomach once a week for six months. 144 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,705 [Chuckles] Who else has that kind of spirit? 145 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,342 Mary Lou Retton! 146 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,980 Um, well, anyway, everyone find your hometown... 147 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:40,855 - and you'll find your cheer squad! Okay! - [Girl] Hey, Kimmi! 148 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,523 [Chattering] 149 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,899 What a team. 150 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:58,306 Great. Just what this team was missin'- two old dudes. 151 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:03,144 Okay, teams. Ready, set, go! 152 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,152 What's goin' on? 153 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,916 - Supposed to be formin' a pyramid. - Come on, Earl. Get on. 154 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,722 Don't even bother. Last place gets last dorm pick. 155 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:21,664 As usual, looks like last place is going to go to Camden! 156 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,568 Perfect as usual, Nathanville. 157 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,570 Thanks, Mom. 158 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:31,666 Maybe they'll give us a nice dorm because of your... situation. 159 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:35,076 No, we got the crappy ones last year, and I was pregnant then too. 160 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,513 [Earl Narrating] Cheer camp was gonna be harder than I thought... 161 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:41,013 and so was changing Dodge's mind. 162 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,179 Blonde hair and blue eyes is rare... 163 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,621 so it's considered a treasure of the human race. 164 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,625 It's what World War II was about. 165 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,958 Why do you think theJapanese bombed Pearl Harbor? Jealous. 166 00:08:56,736 --> 00:09:01,139 Oh, come on! You just like her 'cause she's the same color as pancakes. 167 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,643 [Earl Narrating] Even though me and Randy... 168 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,770 would be sleeping in the third floorjanitor's closet... 169 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,849 they did let us help our teammates get moved into their rooms. 170 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,145 It's not that bad. 171 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,744 If it makes you feel better, I don't think that urine smell's from humans. 172 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,381 [Scoffs] These are the bunks that Camden gets every year... 173 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,484 because we always come last at everything. 174 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,563 Randy, you know, if we're gonna lose anyway... 175 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:28,156 maybe we should just pack up our tiny, tight, itchy cheer pants and go. 176 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:31,395 We can't quit, Earl. We've got more competitions. 177 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,564 And at the end of the week, we cheer in front of a real crowd. 178 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:38,235 They'll yell back any letter you ask 'em to. Even the hard letters. 179 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,972 What's the point of bein' in front of a crowd when we're gonna suck? 180 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,572 Speak for yourself, robo face. I don't suck. 181 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,482 - [Chuckles] - Cool it, Juno. You suck worser than she do. 182 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,317 Every time you do a split, I'm afraid your little mistake's gonna pop out. 183 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,323 This pregnancy was not a mistake. 184 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,087 At the time, Coach Barnes and I were in a committed relationship. 185 00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:58,823 - That's not what I heard. - Oh, eat a chicken, fat ass. 186 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,230 Stop it! Stop callin' each other names! 187 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:05,133 Come on. Preggers, Headgear, Chunk, Black Girl. 188 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,603 You know why Badger Face treats us so bad? 189 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:12,167 Because people expect Camden folks to act this way, to turn on each other. 190 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:16,544 Me and Earl have been dreamin' about bein' cheerleaders our whole lives... 191 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:21,245 but we never did anything about it because we let what other people thought control us. 192 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,914 - Right, Earl? - Yep. 193 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,014 And now I'm gonna be a cheerleader... 194 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:29,617 no matter how stupid and girlie and embarrassin' that is. 195 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,698 Who cares what other people think? 196 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:37,201 I'm here to do whatever it takes to be the most best cheerleader I can be. 197 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,931 Me too. Maybe this year the football team... 198 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,735 will finally invite me to a party that's actually happening. 199 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,742 That's the spirit, Headgear. 200 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,108 Look at all the good things about our squad. 201 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:51,309 Like Preggers is actually two cheerleaders in one. 202 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,317 And I can lift people really high. 203 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:56,354 [Earl Narrating] I was impressed with Randy. He wasn'tjust cheerin; he was leadin'. 204 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:01,326 - [Gasp] - [Squeaking] 205 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,590 [Screaming] 206 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,528 [Screams] 207 00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:09,430 [Earl Narrating] After Randy's speech, a funny thing happened. 208 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:11,526 #Whoop, there it is Whoop, there it is # 209 00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:15,198 The girls all went to bed that night as I's and woke up as a team. 210 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,605 #Whoop, there it is Whoop, there it is # 211 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:21,578 After a few hours, we weren't just a team, we were a squad- 212 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,650 which later someone told me meant the same thing as team. 213 00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:31,546 And our skit could only be described as raggedy awesome. 214 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:34,217 - Our team is boom! Dynamite! - [Laughing] 215 00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,294 Tick, tick, tick. 216 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:39,455 - Boom! Dynamite! - Tick, tick, tick. 217 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:43,626 Our team is boom! Dynamite! Tick, tick, tick. 218 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:47,297 By the end of the day, we'd put the other squads on notice: Camden was here to cheer. 219 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:52,366 - That big guy has the spirit of 10 cheerleaders. - Mommy will take care of it. 220 00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:02,478 Sorry. I have bad news. I went through the rule book... 221 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,488 and adult men can't participate in the camp. 222 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,581 So P-A-C-K up your crap and go! 223 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,997 I guess I won't get to cheer in front of a real crowd after all. 224 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,898 But Kimmi owns the camp. She can change the rules. 225 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:20,733 Doesn't matter, Earl. The president owns the country, but he doesn't make the rules. 226 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,740 The Pilgrims make the rules. 227 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,571 I'd argue, but history is the only subject he's better than me at. 228 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,648 [Sighs] 229 00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,844 - [No Audible Dialogue] - [Earl Narrating] I didn't know exactly... 230 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,015 how I was gonna change Kimmi's mind about kickin'me and Randy out... 231 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,559 but I knew I had to do somethin'. 232 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,685 Nothing is going to change my mind. 233 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,822 Now if you'll excuse me, Meg Ryan's about to find out who's been sending her mail. 234 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,832 It's Tom Hanks. 235 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,960 Over the years, I've come to know the signs of a lonely woman: 236 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,835 No wedding ring, sappy movie... 237 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,033 half gallon of ice cream, one spoon... 238 00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,169 and a face horribly disfigured by a runaway badger. 239 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,112 I had to do whatever it took to give Randy his chance to cheer. 240 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:05,706 Listen, Kimmi. 241 00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:09,310 I'm not really here for my brother. 242 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,855 I'm here 'cause I'm lonely. 243 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:20,126 L-O-N-E-L-L-Y. 244 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,496 - [Gasps] - Lonely. 245 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:26,833 You've got male, if you want it. 246 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,307 And so, I did what had to be done. 247 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,312 Unfortunately, Kimmi was flexible. 248 00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:38,542 So no matter what position we were in, we were always face to face. 249 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:40,847 - [Grunts] - [Growls] 250 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,083 Is your eye gonna drip every time you blink? 251 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,087 Guess so. 252 00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:55,066 We're back in, and I need a hug. 253 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,136 I'd resorted to desperate measures, and I wasn't the only one. 254 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,472 Baby, what are you doing? 255 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,475 Just spraying on some glitter before I go read Dodge his bedtime story. 256 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:08,877 - Can you hand me my fishnets? - Good God, this Catalina thing is making you crazy. 257 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:12,212 What is so crazy about a mama wantin' her son to think she's sexy? 258 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,718 Everything! Boys aren't supposed to think their mothers are sexy. 259 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,720 I mean, maybe a couple weird dreams during puberty... 260 00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,722 you don't tell anyone about, but that's it. 261 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:22,055 I'm not just gonna sit back and lose my son to some skeevy senorita. 262 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,061 He's not gonna run off with Catalina. 263 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,690 Even if she was into eight-year-olds, I doubt she wants you as a mother-in-law. 264 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,700 Catalina's just the flavor of the week. 265 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,793 Then it'll be some other girl, then some other girl. 266 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:35,567 Before you know it, he's 16 and has a family of his own and then- 267 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,869 then he won't need me at all. 268 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,914 Baby, it doesn't matter how many girls he has. 269 00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:48,453 He only has one mama. He'll always need you. 270 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,216 You don't know that. 271 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,258 [Sighs] 272 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,262 [Earl Narrating] Darnell fancied himself a good parent. 273 00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,832 And sometimes when you wanna help someone you love who's hurtin'... 274 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:01,934 you have to hurt someone else you love to make it right. 275 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,129 You have to hurt someone else you love to make it right. 276 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:10,902 - [Yells] - [Blade Whirring] 277 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,171 Baby? 278 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:17,648 Mommy, Mommy, the fan fell on me for no reason, and it was on. 279 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,880 - Oh, it's okay, sweetie. I'm here. - [Crying] 280 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,217 I'm always gonna be here. 281 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,793 [Earl Narrating] It was the final performance... 282 00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:33,831 and after stayin'up for two nights practicing, the Camden squad was ready to go. 283 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,766 Unfortunately, my stomach was too. 284 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,996 You okay, Earl? 285 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,004 I'm feelin' a little nauseous. 286 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,040 Well, if you have to hurl, you should go outside. 287 00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:45,667 They'll take away points if they think you're doin' it to lose weight. 288 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,871 [Earl Narrating] Over the week, I had gotten used to doin'cheerleading... 289 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,880 around a bunch of other cheerleaders... 290 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:53,110 but when I thought about gettin'up in front of a real audience... 291 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:55,880 my stomach was the one doin'backflips. 292 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:59,185 - 'Sup, loser? - Joy? 293 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,316 - Hey, Earl. - Hey, Crabman. 294 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:05,022 Randy sent us a postcard sayin' y'all were havin' a lot of fun at cheer camp. 295 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,860 And Earl, I do not say this enough. 296 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,867 You are a douche bag. 297 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,234 Sorry about the camera, Earl. But with all the things Joy has let me record... 298 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:15,330 it would've been rude for me to deny her this. 299 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:16,874 Does anybody else know about this? 300 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,412 [Laughing] 301 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:24,977 Oh, my God! 302 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,015 Randy, Randy, Randy. I can't do this. 303 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,021 What? 304 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,717 Joy's here and she brought a ton of people from the Crab Shack. 305 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,592 They got camcorders! We're gonna look stupid and 10 pounds heavier. 306 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:39,596 So what? This is our dream, Earl. 307 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:42,667 Not mine, just yours. I just lied so I could cross you off my list. 308 00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:44,599 That was a horrible thing to do. 309 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,501 You know what's a horrible thing? Tryin' to satisfy a double-jointed woman... 310 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,506 while gettin' squirted in the face with eye milk. 311 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:53,408 - I did that for you, but that's it. I'm done. - Well, if you're done, I'm done. 312 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:57,073 No, Randy, that's how all this started. 313 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,082 Look, all you do is follow me. 314 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,914 You can't just do what I do your whole life. 315 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,855 If this is your dream, then you do it on your own. 316 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,454 You're right. I get what you're sayin'. 317 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,291 I'll do it. 318 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:13,729 But only if you do with me. 319 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,630 Oh, damn it, Randy, This is what I'm talkin' about. 320 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,533 Randy, we ain't goin' on without you. 321 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:23,130 [Chanting] We got spirit. Yes, we do. 322 00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:26,803 We got spirit. How 'bout you? 323 00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:31,747 [Woman On P.A.] The Kimmi Himler Cheer Academy presents Team Camden! 324 00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:35,217 - [People] Camden! - I do got spirit. Yes, I do. 325 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,480 Yes! 326 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:41,258 [Cheering] 327 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,890 [Mouthing Words] 328 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,463 Yeah! 329 00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:52,426 Thank you, Lord, for the gift we are about to receive. 330 00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:56,838 - [Man] Let's go. Let's go, man. - [Man #2] Let's go! 331 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,911 Are you pressing play? Press play! 332 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,639 Randy Hickey for homecoming queen! 333 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,510 [Jasper] Shake your pom-poms, cutie boy! 334 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:06,015 [Joy] You wouldn't be smilin' if you knew how stupid you look! 335 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:09,349 We're gonna put this on YouTube as soon as one of us figures out how to use a computer! 336 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,652 Hey, Randy. Your vagina's showing! 337 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,658 [Earl Narrating] My whole life, Randy's followed me. 338 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,785 He's always been by my side. 339 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,090 You could say he's been my cheerleader... 340 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,598 and, well, I figured for once I should be his. 341 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,601 ## [Pop On Speaker] 342 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:31,305 Bang, bang, choo-choo train. Come on, Camden. Do your thing. 343 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,105 - We can't. - Why not? 344 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,807 My back is aching. My skirt's too tight. My booty's sagging from left to right. 345 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,815 That don't sound like Camden spirit. 346 00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,885 I know you got it. Come on. Let's hear it. 347 00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:44,786 Bang, bang, choo-choo train. Come on, Camden. Do your thing. 348 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:48,951 Get it, get it, get it, get it. Got it, got it, got it, got it. 349 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:54,158 C- A-M! C- A-M-D-E-N. Camden! 350 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,530 [Cheering] 351 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,868 [Earl Narrating] We weren't the best squad that camp had ever seen... 352 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,876 but we were the best squad Camden had ever seen... 353 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,742 and that was all because of Randy. 354 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:11,475 [Hoots] 355 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,813 Nice job, cowboy. 356 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,581 The veterinarian who drains my eye is in Camden. 357 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:20,351 I'm there every Friday. I'm gonna look you up. 358 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,930 [Spits] 359 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,898 Later that day, I realized there were probably a lot of other things... 360 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:35,599 Randy would enjoy doin'but didn't try because of me, like strawberry shortcake. 361 00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:38,540 But fortunately, I wasn't the only one realizin'that. 362 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,544 Here's your strawberry shortcake. 363 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,809 I put the tartar sauce on the side because I feared you might regret that decision. 364 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:47,443 And maybe Randy had a thing or two to teach me. 31086

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.